Raising Godly Children

What if you could build a house without a solid foundation? It would crumble. Much like parenting, the foundation is crucial for raising godly children, and our latest episode is dedicated to helping you lay those bricks with divine wisdom. Drawing from Psalms 127, we cover the essential stages of a child's life—starting with the discipline years, where love and boundaries pave the way for long-term growth. By referencing Hebrews 12:10-11, we acknowledge the challenges of discipline but highlight its invaluable rewards.

As our children mature, so should our approach. We explore the shift from parent to supportive friend, empowering our grown children to make their own choices while keeping faith at the heart of family life. Unconditional love is the cornerstone of this transformation, helping children understand that their worth transcends achievements and mistakes. Our discussion serves as a beacon, guiding you to create a home centered around faith, where your children can flourish and grow spiritually. Join us on this enlightening journey as we seek divine guidance for a path that honors both God and family.

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:12

Even as we look to God's word. The scripture portion that I have chosen is Psalms 127. Is Psalms 127. Okay, so you see the raising godly children. We are living in a world where our children are influenced by so many things and we, as Christian parents, need to influence the things of God upon our children from a very young age. Okay, the word of God says train a child when he is young, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Yes, and we want to train our children. Okay.

Speaker 1 0:55

So Psalms 127, I'm reading from verses one onwards. It says unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain. Who build it, unless the Lord guards the city? It says Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward, so our kids are a reward from God, like arrows in the hands of a warrior. So are children of one's youth Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with their enemies in the gate. They shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with their enemies in the gate. This is a very, very powerful scripture about children and how children are a blessing from God.

Speaker 1 1:57

Parenting is hard. How many of you agree? Is parenting easy? No, it is not easy. Not only physically challenging, but also mentally and emotionally. Also, we are responsible for the physical well-being of the child. That means you take care that the child is fed. The child has every need that is met. They have clothes to wear. You give them a bath every day. These are all the physical needs that a parent accommodates for the child. But there is much more that we do. We provide financially for the child. We also take care of the emotional needs of the child. We take care that the child is developing mentally. There is intelligence that is being developed and also how to live in this world is a parent's job to do that. They have to teach the child. Therefore, parenting is not an easy job.

Speaker 1 2:47

For the parents who are young parents, I'm sure you know how hard it is to bring up our children. So parenting is like constructing a house. You see the picture of a house here. It's like just like construction of a house. Every stage is very important. What do you do before you construct a house? You make a blueprint, yes, and then you have a foundation that is laid. Can I start building from the rooftop? Can I just start building from the rooftop in the air without a foundation? No, my friends, it's very, very important that we lay a foundation and on the foundation you start building the structure and on the structure comes your roof. Very similar to how we build a house, is very similar how we raise our children, and what we are doing is we are raising or we are putting a foundation for our children in their Christian walk.

Speaker 1 3:46

Okay, so, in order to understand how to be able to effectively raise our children and prepare them for every stage, all of us have children at different stages in their life, right, in terms of age. So let us break down into different age groups to see what exactly the children need at each phase. Okay, can go to my next slide? Yes, okay, so you see the ages are divided into four ages. Okay, so the first you have the discipline years, which is the zero to five years.

Speaker 1 4:21

At this age, control is very, very important. What is a child's primary need Is control. Okay, many homes we see the child wants to control everything. Yes, the child wants to dictate what vegetable will be cooked. The child wants to dictate what he or she wants to wear or where they want to go and we sometimes think you know it is okay, and we try to pamper the kids. But at this phase of life, it's very, very important that the children know that you, as a parent, are in control and they are not in control, okay, and how will? How will we establish this? We have to establish that with consistency. We have to teach our children that we are in control. At the same time, we have to draw boundaries, okay, and we have to teach them that you know you are in control, but they have to learn, okay. At this time I like to put forth okay, physical discipline, okay, is okay, is not mandatory, okay. But discipline with words is very, very important. Discipline, not in anger, okay. Don't hit the child when you're angry, okay, but let your you know, explain to the child what you are expecting out of them in a loving manner, okay, loving discipline is what children need at this age.

Speaker 1 5:48

Hebrews, chapter 12, verses 10 to 11, says for our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how, but God's discipline is always good for us so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable. While it is happening it's painful, but afterwards there is a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way, okay. So, even for the kids, when you're disciplining them, when you're telling them what is the right thing to be done, it's not. They're not going to be very happy, they're not going to smile you and give you a hug. Okay, because that's not what they want to do. They just want to do the opposite of it. Okay, but it may be painful at that very moment, but that is what is best for them in the long run and this is how you train your children, okay. So, even as we progress a little ahead, we come to the second part, which is the training years, the 5 to 12 years.

Speaker 1 6:48

Parents identify in which phase you are, which will help you how to deal with your children in the right manner. At this age, the child's primary need is to gain understanding. Until now, the child was with you. Their world only revolved around you and the grandparents, okay, but now they are venturing out into school, they are making friends, they are interacting with others, so there's so many other things that they are picking up as well. Yes, sometimes they will learn some new word that the friend has said and you have no clue. You have not never taught your child that. Okay. Okay, but the children are picking up. Their antennas are all alert and they're picking up a lot of things.

Speaker 1 7:30

At this phase, the child's primary need is to gain understanding. Okay, this is the age where there will be a lot of questions what is this, what is that? Why is this, why is that Okay? So you should be willing and patient to answer their questions. Don't say, you know, don't be impatient with them and don't treat them, you know, like they're silly questions, but be patient and answer them as to what their you know inquisitiveness is all about, because you know they're experiencing everything for the first time. Therefore, there's a lot of curiosity in them, okay, so, all about, because you know they're experiencing everything for the first time. Therefore, there's a lot of curiosity in them. Okay, so don't, you know, turn off their curiosity, but be patient in answering their questions.

Speaker 1 8:14

In this phase, the parents primary responsibility is to shape their worldview. Through teaching, through training, also through questions and answers, you're able to address the needs of the child and also it is a good place to start off to talk to them about God. Ephesians, chapter 6, verse 4, says fathers do not exasperate your children Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. So, so, these years are very, very important and are a part of the training. Okay, so 5 to 12 is what we looked at. The next years are the coaching years, 13 to 18.

Speaker 1 8:58

Anybody in that age group? Yes, we have a lot of them in GU. Our GU is expanding. Okay, so I know that there are a lot of kids in this age group. Okay, so in this age group, what is the need of the child? The primary need of the child is loving guidance. You have answered all their questions. You know and they have explored into the world. Now they're in the regular school going age and now it is your time to lovingly guide them from the sidelines. Okay, you're not the one who's holding the ball, you're not kicking the ball, but you're watching them kick the ball and you are there at the side to jump in whenever needed. What is the parents primary responsibility at this age is practical practice. Okay, you have trained them, you have tested them. So, just like that, you know, eagle, mother eagle slowly picks up the eaglet and it flies to the cliff and it leaves it in the air and it wants the eaglet to start flapping its wings and start flying. So this is the phase where we let our children okay do and experience the world for themselves.

Speaker 1 10:11

One thing I want to many parents are very, very protective of their children. They don't want to make them any mistake. They're very afraid they will fall and they will hurt themselves. When they are small, when the decisions are small, the repercussions are also very, very small. So let them make mistakes, let them learn from their mistakes and they will know what is right and what is wrong. If you are constantly trying to protect your child, the child will not learn, okay, the child will not understand and will not discern where trouble comes from. So let the child make mistakes when you know the repercussions are small and let them experience, and then you can guide them and let them know what has to be done.

Parenting for Adulthood

Speaker 1 10:56

One more thing I want to put forth at this time, especially this teenage years are very, very difficult because their bodies are going through so much. Years are very, very difficult because their bodies are going through so much. Adolescence is the age where the hormones are, you know, all active and the kids are not yet an adult, but they feel they're all adults because they look all grown up. Yes, they want to act like adults. Okay, it's very good for the parents to recognize a mentor. Find a mentor in church. Okay, it could be somebody a few years older to your kid, okay, who is christian, has good values, who can speak into the life of your kid. Yes, make them sure you know that they bond well together. There are some things that children feel very shy to share with their parents, but when they it's a little older, you know friend that comes along, they will be able to share with their parents. But when it's a little older, you know friend that comes along, they will be able to share. And this person has walked a couple of years ahead of them. Therefore, they will be able to have a good input. They will be able to speak in a lingo that you and I cannot do. So, parents, watch out that your children have good mentors and when your child gets older, teach them that they can be mentors as well. We see that the Bible was full of mentors. Okay, moses mentored Joshua. Yes, he handed over the mantle to Joshua. Paul and Timothy is a very good example of mentors in the Bible. So teenage children definitely need godly mentors. We have Enoch and Kirtana here, okay, who are doing a fabulous job with the young adults and with the GU ministry. Make sure that your children relate to them so that you know they can discuss their walk with God with them. I hope you find this useful.

Speaker 1 12:41

Okay, the exciting phase? Okay, the friendship years the exciting phase okay. The friendship years yes, when the children have grown older than 18, okay. The primary need of a child is they need space. Okay, now they're adults, they've grown up. They need this space. They need to allow, they need to be allowed to experience their independence by making their own decision, often a hands-off approach from mom and dad. Mom and dad are there if you need. Okay, but they're not readily available. Okay, so you will be there for any wisdom, any advice, any decision-making, big decisions regarding job, marriage, so many things maybe changing, moving to another city, moving abroad, whatever could be the decision-making process. You're always there to pour in that advice that they need.

Speaker 1 13:32

At this phase, primary responsibility of the parent is to offer support. You have helped them to develop character, responsibility and a biblical worldview. Now it's time to watch them soar on their own. When they need you, you be there, but not as a parent, but as a friend. Yes, you've worked very hard for this phase and you want to enjoy it. Now I'm almost there for one child. I have another one in the coaching years. Okay, so I'm enjoying a part of it, with my elder daughter being a friend to me now.

Speaker 1 14:05

Okay, so the changing seasons of parenthood are very, very challenging. Every stage, like we have seen, has its own demands, and only with the wisdom of God, my friends, you will be able to steer clear and you will be able to establish this wonderful relationship with your child. Just remember that children are a gift from the Lord. Okay, the fruit of the womb is a reward and you have to cherish this reward. Okay, can I go on to my next slide?

Speaker 1 14:38

Okay, as we talked about the different phases, this is something that is very, very important. Okay, deuteronomy, chapter 6, verses 5 to 9, says Love the Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children, talk about them when you sit at home and you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads, write them on the door frames of your houses and your gates. So what is the commandment that the Lord is giving us? He's saying love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul and strength. And whatever the commandments that I give you, let them be on your heart and impress them on your children. So putting God at the center of our family is very, very important, my friend. God is not somebody. Jesus is not somebody who we seek only on a Sunday.

Speaker 1 15:46

Every discussion in our household should revolve around God and Jesus. It is very crucial for parents to make God the center of the family. You are thinking you are the head of the family. No, my friends, god, jesus is the head of your family. Everything in the house should revolve around a relationship with God. Children are not foolish, my friends. They are observing everything that you do. They are observing all your actions.

Speaker 1 16:17

How much of importance do you give to the word of God? How much of importance do you give for prayer? How much of importance do you give for worship? Everything is registering in their minds and make sure that you be a role model when we build our homes on a foundation of faith. We create an environment where God is revered and glorified, a home where children thrive, is saturated with prayer. Yes, very, very important Cover your children with prayer. You cannot be everywhere, my friends, you cannot stop everything, but what you can do as a responsible parent is to cover your children with prayer every day, and then you will see that they're protected by God, they are provided for by His grace, amen. Okay, my next slide, please. Yes, children are a special gift from God and they are entrusted to us for a season. All this is taken from Psalms 127. Okay, they are entrusted to us for a season and we have to make sure we do the best in the time that they are entrusted toward. They belong to both, and us too, and also to God.

Speaker 1 17:34

It is essential for children to know that they are loved unconditionally by our parents, by their parents and also by God. Let not children know that they are loved only if there is good behavior, if only they get good grades at home, only if they, you know, are doing their chores at home. Let them not be defined by these tasks or by these duties that you assign to them. Let your child know that they are loved unconditionally, even when the situations go not as they should be. They should have that confidence to come to you and say mom and dad, I've messed up, but I'm here and I need you. Let us make sure that our children know that we love them, no matter what. It's the same love that we have received from our father. Right? We are so messed up in our situations. Were we perfect to receive the love of Jesus? No, we messed up. Okay, but let your child that communication and that way should be open, that the child should be able to come up to you and say, mom and dad, I messed up, but I need your help, okay.

Speaker 1 18:43

Love also includes correcting our children when they go astray, teaching them right from wrong, instilling values in them that will guide them throughout their lives. Love is the foundation of a happy home. Where there is love, the home is a happy home, not when there is, you know, when they are eating out all the time or they have all the goodies. Let me remind you, my friends, children will not remember the most expensive gifts that you have given them or the most expensive places that you have taken them to. They will only remember the love that you have given to them. So this is, these are the years when they are with you. It's very important that you deposit that love into their hearts. Okay, can I have my third slide? Parents have a responsibility to raise their children for the future. You have to prepare your child for the future. We have to launch them out into the world responsibly. We have to give them independence. You have to teach them life skills. That means you have to guide them in their decision-making process in what career they would like to choose, okay, and also prepare them in a way that they're prepared for their Christian walk as well.

Speaker 1 20:03

At this time, I just can't stop thinking about my mom this morning. You know, I remember my mom used to work on a Sunday and she used to work half a day on a Sunday and if she had to take us to church she had to apply leave, and many weeks in a month she would take leave so that she could take us to church, because that was an investment. She knew we were learning so much from church. If I'm able to stand here speak these few words to you, it's only because of those years of deposit that I received sitting in church, listening to the word, so I'm so grateful to my mother for you know, for going her pay and being able to make that wise decision at that time that my children need to hear the word of God. I was saved at the age of 13. I started getting involved in ministry from the age of 15. I used to lead a cell group leader from the age of 16. I went on to do Bible school at 21. And that's where I found my beloved husband. So what am I trying to tell you? Even at the young age of 13, god can touch you and you know he can start molding you into the person that he wants you to be, and you can be. The parents can be powerful channels to let that happen. Okay, so let us look at two examples from the Bible. First we look at the negative example and then we look at the positive example. We learn what not to do and what to do.

Speaker 1 21:36

Many of you must have heard about the story. It's not a new story, but it's a story about Eli's wicked sons. I'll just read the passage about what they did wrong. Okay, it's from first Samuel, chapter 2, verses 12 to 17. It says Eli's sons were scoundrels. They had no regard for the Lord.

Speaker 1 21:55

Now, it was the practice of the priest that whenever any of the people offered a sacrifice, the priest's servant would come with a three-ponged fork in his hand while the meat was being boiled and would plunge the fork into the pan or kettle or cauldron or pot. Whatever the fork brought out, the priest would take for himself. This is how they treated all the Israelites that came to Shiloh. But even before the fat was burned, all the priest's servant would come and say to the person who was sacrificing give the priest some meat to roast. He won't accept boiled meat from you, but only raw. So what was the command that God gave you? Look at that cauldron. So they had that fork and when the meat was boiling they had to put in the fork and take whatever came.

Speaker 1 22:47

But what were Eli's sons, hophni and Phinehas, were doing? They were saying to the people who were sacrificing, even before their sacrifice was done give us some meat because we want to roast it. And this angered the Lord. They treated the offering of the Lord with contempt. If the person said to him, let the fat be burned first and then take whatever you want, the servant would answer no, hand it over now, and if you don't, I'll take it by force. This was what was happening in the temple of the Lord, and this displeased the Lord a lot. So what do we realize? We realize that Eli was unsuccessful as a father. He was not able to mentor his children, not able to discipline his children, and the Bible uses a very strong word. He said the sons of Eli were scoundrels. You don't expect to see that worse, right? So it displeased the Lord. The sin of the young man was very great in the Lord's sight, for they were treating the Lord's offering with content. And we know all of us know what happened to the sons of Eli. They were killed and later on, even Eli. After hearing the news of his son's death, he also passed away. So we see, in spite of Eli being a priest, he was not able to stand up to his role as a father, to discipline his children. Therefore, he saw the wrath of God on his life.

Speaker 1 24:18

Okay, the next story that I want to talk to you is about Eunice. How many have heard of Eunice? Can I see the raise of hands? Yes, couple of you have heard of Eunice. Yes, eunice is the mother of Timothy. So we know that Eunice was a Jewish woman. Okay, and on Paul's first missions trip to Lystra, which is in modern day Turkey now, she happened to accept Jesus as her savior and was very much influenced by the teachings of Paul.

Speaker 1 24:52

Okay, so we see nothing much is recorded about her husband. That means to say that her husband was probably still a Jew and did not convert into Christianity. But did that stop Eunice? It did not stop her faith. She had sincere faith in Jesus and she imparted these teachings to her son, timothy. Even her mother, loisis, is recorded in the Bible and it says that even she was of great faith. Okay, eunice would have been an outcast looked down by the Jewish community. Okay, we probably know that her husband never converted from Judaism. Okay, what we know is that Eunice remained faithful to God and his word and she brought up Timothy in the fear of the Lord and she taught him about the scriptures. Okay, timothy must have witnessed that, in spite of all the difficulties his mother was facing, she chose to hold on to her faith. Okay, yes, okay, yes, okay, so, and we see that Eunice influenced her son into ministry. Paul calls Timothy true son of faith.

Trusting God in Parenting

Speaker 1 26:08

So the choice is right here in front of you, my friends whether you want to be like Eli, neglect your children, okay. Or you want to be like Eunice? Okay, you know, instill these godly values. Instill the word of God into your children. Instill prayer into your children. Instill that the word is so important. Communion with the fellowship of believers is so important. Encourage your children to be a part of Sunday school. Encourage your children to be a part of YA, to be a part of GU, and not to miss out. It is good to have godly friends in church rather than hanging out with someone else and we don't know what they are transferring onto your kids. Yes, my friends. So in conclusion, let us remember that our home is where children thrive when God is at the center. A simple message today put God in the center. Children know that they are loved and parents take the responsibility seriously. As parents, we must launch our children responsibly and leave them with a godly legacy. Yes, and let us pray for our children.

Speaker 1 27:18

I want to leave one scripture with you, Last scripture. Many of us think you know I'm not very wise. I do not know how to be able to lead my children. This verse is for you, my friends. Proverbs, chapter three, verses five to six Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make your path straight. For the parents, who are feeling very overwhelmed this morning, this is my encouragement to you Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. Ask the Lord. Father, I'm at this crossroads. I do not know what to do. Can you guide me, lord? Okay, and that still small voice is ready to speak to you. My friends,