“Husbands and Fathers” Leading by Example

This episode emphasizes the crucial roles of husbands and fathers, encouraging them to lead by example according to God's design. The discussion navigates the scriptural foundations of marriage, the importance of sacrificial love, and the responsibilities of raising children in faith.

• Understanding the honor and responsibility of being a husband and father 
• Marriage as a divine covenant reflecting God's love 
• Insights from Ephesians 5 on roles of husbands and wives 
• Spiritual engagement and prayer's role in family life 
• Biblical examples of fatherhood failures and successes 
• The importance of training children according to scripture 
• Accountability in family dynamics and spiritual leadership

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:13

husbands and fathers leading by example. So by the title itself, you would have known that I'm going to talk about one aspect, you know, of a person's life, that is, the gender right Husbands and fathers leading by example. In all that I'm going to share today, it's mostly related with men, because being husband or a father, but that doesn't put any one of the ladies down. Even though I'm going to address and speak certain issues, it is also addressing the ladies. It's also addressing the women. If you're married as wife, or if you're a child and you have parents Definitely you have. I'm going to cover all these aspects, but predominantly we're going to talk about husbands and fathers this morning and how to lead by example.

Speaker 1 1:19

Husbands and fathers are both an honor and a responsibility. In today's challenging world, it is important to return to God's design for these roles. Many times, the world defines our roles. Many times the media defines our roles. We look at certain people the way they dress, the way they talk, the way they do things and we want to be like that. But is that how you are designed, as a man, to be on this face of this earth? If you are a husband, if you are a father or if you are going to be a father, you must be able to understand the very design of God, how God created you and what is your role on this earth. Men are called to lead with love, provide support and raise their children in the knowledge of God. The relationship between being a husband and a father. As a husband, your love and leadership sets the tone for the family. As a father, your love shapes your children's view of God and life. Both roles are connected. When husbands show Christ-like love to their wives, it creates a strong foundation for the whole family. It creates a strong foundation for the whole family, with marriage being a model of God's love In the first place.

Speaker 1 2:58

Today I'm going to talk about husbands and wives relationship. If you are married, then this applies to you. If you're going to be married, then this applies to you, and that means it includes all right, probably you're married, then you're already there. If you're not married, one day you're going to be there. So it's better to learn the design and the principles of God early if you're still not married and I want each and every one to please pay attention, because this is a very, very important aspect for us as believers and as husbands, as men to stand in the role and the position that is designed by God. Amen. And we'll see in the scripture how God wants us to live.

Speaker 1 3:47

Marriage is a beautiful gift from God. In Genesis, chapter 2, verse 24, god said a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife you all know the scripture and they will become one flesh. The scripture and they will become one flesh. This shows God's perfect plan for marriage, a bond that reflects his love and purpose. In today's world, relationships can be tough, but God's word can give us timeless guidance on how husbands and wives can live together in harmony, with respect and sacrificial love. So we all know God created this institution called marriage and this is the highest form of an institution. God has established the highest form of an institution.

Speaker 1 4:49

God has established the very first thing that, after God created everything, the very first institution God has created is marriage. He saw a man was alone and then Bible says God is not happy when he saw a man is alone. So if a man is alone, what is the word of God? What is the design of God? The design and the plan of God is that you should not be alone, amen. And then he saw that man was alone and then he created a suitable partner. So the first thing, god brings an institution called marriage upon the face of this earth after the creation of Adam and Eve. So marriage is a covenant, not a contract. It's not a partnership, even though in today's term the word partner is used. Great, but we are not in a partnership, we are in a covenant, and when you enter into this covenant, this is a covenant that God has designed, and the Bible says marriage is honorable in all, all. In all that God has created, in all that God has established, in all that God has created, in all that God has established, in all that God wants to see happen, the Bible says marriage is honorable in all. So the unique plan and the purpose of God for man and woman is to be in marriage, and that's a covenant that God has established, the very first covenant that God wants us, as human beings, to be a part of. Marriage is meant to be a reflection of relationship between Christ and his church. Just as Christ loves, sacrifices and nurtures the church, so too should husbands love and serve their wives, wives. In return please listen to this reflect the church's submission to Christ through their respect and honor towards their husbands. The ultimate goal of marriage is to glorify God and reflect his love to the world. The way God has designed this marriage is through being in that covenant, you bring glory and honor to God and it is our responsibility to be in that covenant.

Speaker 1 7:24

I want to go through Ephesians, chapter 5, verses 22 and 25. I hope you are able to follow the scriptures on the screen. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. Can all the wives read this scripture? If you are a wife, or if one day you will be a wife, right, you would like to read this scripture. Wives, not other's husbands, your own husband. So find your own husband and go and submit. Alright, that doesn't mean you are anyway less superior or inferior, right? That's not the plan of God. It's just the roles. We must understand the roles that God has designed. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands. As to the Lord, a wife's submission is not about inequality and about aligning with God's design for the family, creating peace and unity in the home.

Speaker 1 8:40

Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 25, the role of husband. Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her Husbands, you are called to love your wives sacrificially, just as Christ loves the church. This love is not conditional but unconditional. Church this love is not conditional but unconditional. It means protecting, providing and honoring your wife, even to the point of sacrifice. The world may offer many definitions of love and marriage, but as Christians we are called to follow God's design, which promotes oneness, unity, forgiveness and love.

Speaker 1 9:28

Don't take anything outside the Bible as your model for marriage. Don't take anything that is not the will of God in your marriage. That is not the plan of God marriage. That is not the plan of God. So if you really want to be in the marriage, then you need to go and follow the word of God and to which we are trying to understand today a little bit. To understand this more, in a greater way, you can open your mobile phones.

Speaker 1 10:05

In the YouVersion app the notes is uploaded so that you can save. There is a section where you can make your own notes. I encourage you to please make your own notes, because we want to learn and we want to share this with others. We want to have a blessed community. We want to have a peaceful family lives. The world is disturbed, families are getting disturbed and getting destroyed because people don't know their roles designed by God, and it is for us to learn and we teach one another. So, please, you can use the YouVersion app and the notes is uploaded there. So the charge is husbands, love your wives, wives, respect your husbands with humility and honor, amen.

Speaker 1 10:59

Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 33. Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 33. However, each of you also must love his own wife as he loves himself, and his wife must respect her husband. So I've been in ministry, in church, for long enough to understand the role or the importance of marriage and the role of man and woman, what man should be practicing and what women should be practicing, and we are actually equals, right, but you have a responsibility, you have a role. Each of us, we have a role that we have to follow.

Speaker 1 11:49

I have listed quite a few scriptures in the Bible. You know from the Bible I'm sorry they are in the notes which I'm not going to talk about. But I'm going to talk about one particular scripture that is very helpful that if husbands have to prosper, that if husbands have to prosper, if husbands have to do well, if husbands have to, you know, be in a good space. There's something women have to do or their respective spouse have to do that one scripture I'm going to talk before I continue with the message that God asked for. Otherwise, there are so many scriptures I listed out in the notes. You can follow.

Speaker 1 12:29

In the notes I am reading 1 Peter, 3, verse 7. Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect, as weaker partner and as heirs, with you, of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. Husbands, please note this. There probably will be times in your lives nothing will go right for you. All your efforts will be in vain, all your sacrifices will amount to nothing. You thought that your wife will do well, but your wife is not doing well. You thought your children, when they grow up, will come to the age and stand next to you, but today you are standing here with a prayer request about your son, about your daughter. Pastor, please pray for my son. Pastor, please pray for my son. Pastor, please pray for my daughter. You know why? Because your prayers are being hindered. My friend, you are reaching out, you are crying out, but somebody's prayers are hindered.

Speaker 1 13:36

I want you to follow the scripture in the Amplified Bible, the same scripture, 1 Peter, chapter 3, verse 7. In the same way, you, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way. If your prayer should be answered, the first thing you must understand, husbands, live with your wife in an understanding way, with great, with gentleness and tact, and with an intelligent regard for the marriage relationship as with someone physically weaker, since she is a woman, show her honor and respect as a fellow heir of the grace of life. So that, come on, can somebody help me? Huh? So that right that your come on on that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off, otherwise you cannot pray effectively.

Speaker 1 14:52

There is a role that woman plays. Now I'm coming to the women, or the wives. You must stand with your husband and pray for them. If your husband should prosper, if your husband should do well, if your husband should be at peace, one of the roles that God has given to women is that you stand and pray and pray for your husband. One of the reasons why your husbands don't flourish or your husband don't flourish is the reason why you're not standing in prayer. Right, the amount of respect you must give probably is not there, and I will talk about some of the reasons right now for your justification of why you don't want to respect your husband. If you don't follow the principles listed in the word of God, then we will see what is happening in the world affecting us and we will take them as our role models. And there is no love, there is no patience, there is no kindness. And we want to, you know, act like other people and be in the Christian lives. Our marriages should be strong In the church and Christian marriages should be strong and mighty and as a living example, and for that, husbands and fathers, you play a key, important role. Amen.

Speaker 1 16:18

So this one scripture I wanted to talk about, so that both husband and wives do well in their marriage. When we talk about husband and you know, being a husband and a father, I want to go to the first story in the Bible, that is, adam and Eve. God was in the center of their lives and in their marriage, god was there, every day with them. God was in their family. Is God in your family? Is God in your life? Is God's presence leading you and guiding you? I want you to think about this. When God created Adam and Eve and he made them one, god's presence was with them. And today the challenge is, my friend, is God's presence in your lives and in your marriage. Psalm 115, verse 16.

Speaker 1 17:10

The highest heavens belong to the Lord. The heavens belong to the Lord, but the earth, but the earth has been given to mankind. The earth that you live in for a period of time, for the season that God has designed for you to be on this earth. This earth has been given to you, my friend. This earth will not dictate terms to you, but you dictate terms to this earth. The earth and the situations around that have been ruling and reigning and trying to portray marriage to you. That is not the will of God for you. The will of God is the word of God over your life. And then God says as heavens belong to the Lord, earth belongs to you. That means you have to be in control of it. Don't allow it to control you, don't allow the externals to control you, but you control. You know being in the position of controlling itself. Amen, and that's what the scripture says, that God has given this earth to you. And that's exactly what God has done with Adam and Eve Genesis, chapter 5, sorry. Genesis, chapter 2, verse 15. Now I'm talking about Adam's responsibility. Amen, the Lord.

Speaker 1 18:21

God took man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work and to take care of it. So God has given him a role. What was the role? To work it, to work it and take care of it. So, any Adam here, any Adam here, man, any men here, you are Adam, by the way, that's another word, right? So you know what God is saying work and take care of your garden. Work and take care of your garden. Where is your garden? Your house is your garden? Where God has put you? When God took Adam and Eve and he brought them, he said now work on it, amen, and then take care of it.

Speaker 1 19:30

I want you to see the scripture Right Genesis, chapter 3, verse 1. Now, the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to woman did God really say you must not eat the fruit of, you must not eat from any tree in the garden? So you know the story. You know the situation when the serpent comes and is interacting with Eve, right? Why did serpent come into Adam's garden when God told him Adam, this is all I have for you. I have given you a person in your life. Now it's your responsibility to work on it and take care of it.

Speaker 1 20:19

So, when serpent came, where are you? I want you to read the scripture. Please don't get me mad, mad at me. I'm not elevating the woman and putting the men down, but this is the scripture. We need to understand the scripture and the context, and I'm talking about the roles. Alright.

Speaker 1 20:42

So Genesis, chapter 3, verse 9. What does the scripture say? The Lord, god, called, called, called the woman, adam. We don't know where he was Right. Serpent came into the garden. Serpent is having a discussion with the woman, but you don't find Adam. And when God comes back, he doesn't go to Eve. He doesn't go to Eve, he goes to Adam. And what does the scripture say? Please help me. There is a question mark. Where are you, adam? Where are you? I gave you a responsibility. When the serpent is coming into your garden, what were you doing? Why did you allow serpent to come into your house? You are supposed to take care of it. No, you are supposed to stand and take the shield and use the sword of the word of God and of it. No, you're supposed to stand and you know, take the shield and use the sword of the word of God and kill it? No, but how can it sneak into your garden, my friend? Can you imagine why? God said where are you? And God know where Adam was. There's only one garden, there's only one hidden garden. There's only one place. There are only two people, and God knows. But the question here is when the enemy is attacking your house, what are you doing, adam? When the enemy is destroying your children, where are you, adam? Where are you Then? We know the answer. What he said Lord, the woman you gave you know. She gave me this and I ate it. And this is where we are today.

Speaker 1 22:58

Adam failed as a husband the first story in the Bible. He failed as a husband. He should have ensured that the gate. We all do that. It's my everyday responsibility to lock the gate right and then the door Lock it. It's my responsibility, naturally. I do it every day and probably all the husbands are doing the same in their houses. But what about the enemy? We are all open.

Speaker 1 23:32

Oh Lord, this is happening in my life. Look at me, look at my life. We are so terrible. Oh yeah, I understand, but where were you? Where were you last night? What did you do last night when your family was struggling. Where were you sitting? What was the discussion? Whom are you on phone with? What will your answer be? We need to answer this question. My dear friends, this is what is there in the Bible. I'm not making a story. So, basically, god says please listen to me.

Speaker 1 24:08

Adam, you are a doorkeeper. Adam, you are a watchman. Adam, you are a caretaker. Adam, you are a custodian Caretaker. Adam, you are a custodian. Adam, you are an overseer. This is your role as a husband. Stand in your role. Don't pass the buck, because in a time like this, we are ready to pass the buck. If I make mistake, then somebody will come and punish me, but we know that Eve ate the fruit, but God went to Adam. Why I said why? Because, adam, you have a role to play. Take care of your garden, take care of your garden, take care of your home.

Speaker 1 25:03

When Jesus walks into the temple, you all know the story. Right after the triumphal entry, he goes right into Jerusalem. Where does he go to? He goes to one cinema theatre, hello church. Where does Jesus go to? He goes to one cinema theatre, hello church. Where does Jesus go to? He goes to temple, the Jerusalem temple, and he finds what Everybody is quiet today, is it? I am not scolding anybody, by the way, and specially all the men are looking at me like this. What next he is going to say? What next is there in his plan? Huh, jesus walks into the temple. He takes a whip. You know what he says. He takes a whip. You know what he says. You have made my temple a den of thieves. How come my house will be called a house of prayer? But look at what you have done with the temple. And then he takes a whip. Come on, get out, get out, get out of my family, get out of my home, get out of my temple, Because this temple is a temple.

Speaker 1 26:36

I want to show you quickly a couple of stories in the Bible. Failures of father, please don't get me wrong. There are many. Now. In the previous segment I talked more about husband and wives. Now I'm going to go in the realm of the father being a father All right, and there are many good fathers. There are many, many good fathers, and most of the time these good fathers are overshadowed by some of the things right that are negative, and the negative rise is so big that everybody talks about it and makes that person very bad Right. But I want to tell you that there are good, good fathers, but maybe there are some things in their lives we must be able to help them to overcome and become stronger. Are you all with me?

Speaker 1 27:38

Eli the priest Alright, he's a high priest, eli. I'm taking a story in the Old Testament. He's a high priest, alright, he's a great priest. He served God like anything. God's heart was touched by the service he did. Alright. God's heart was touched by the service he did. Alright. He had many excellent character qualities.

Speaker 1 28:05

In his long life you will not find any record of terrible sin. He did not drink, steal, lie or swear. He never divorced his wife, committed adultery or abused his children. Yet Eli failed miserably as a father. 1 Samuel 3, verse 13. God speaking to Eli, he said I told him that I would judge his family forever Because of the sin he knew about. His sons made themselves contemptible and he failed to restrain them. He failed to correct them. He became a very passive father. Father knew the sons of the children, but he did not do anything and God records it in the scripture Even though his service is great as a priest, he was excelling in everything, but he failed as a father, second person, king David.

Speaker 1 29:17

King David was on the run for many years before he became a king. He was a devoted warrior, spent more time on the battlefield than his family. He was a father well over 20 sons, and at least one daughter. When his sons did evil, like Eli, he only scolded them. Now this is another level. He took no action to discipline them. Listen to me Amnon, his first son, raped his half-sister Tamar. When David learned about it, he was furious but did not do anything about it. However, absalom, one of his sons, killed Amnon and much later on attempted to take his father's throne. His fourth son, adonijah, also took up to dethrone his father when he was old and frail. His father never rebuked him by asking why do you behave like this? Why are you doing like this? Clearly, the man after God's own heart had no backbone when it came to his unruly, wicked sons.

Speaker 1 30:37

Before he died please listen to me carefully before he died, david gave this wonderful advice to his another son called Solomon. I'm reading 1 Kings 2, verse 2 and 3. David told Solomon Be thou strong, therefore, show thyself a man, keep the charge of the. When did David do this Church? When did David do this when he was about to die, the last days of his life. He said man, if you really want to be a good child, if you really want to prosper, just follow the ways of God, be in His ways, understand the heart of God and walk at His deathbed. When the time was there, he did not take charge of it. Do you know the story of Solomon? I said of it. Do you know the story of Solomon? I said church. Do you know the story of Solomon? So many girls he had in his life. Huh, so many women he had in his life. If only David would have taken that responsibility as a father.

Speaker 1 32:05

I'll come to the scripture in a bit. I want you to listen to this real story. This is quoted in the economic times. I think the image will come up here it's. I'm reading something from the economic times. It's quoted on march 8th 2024, a young man, age 29, was murdered on his marriage day by his father.

Speaker 1 32:39

This is a real story. The father of a gym owner was arrested by Delhi police for allegedly stabbing his son. Can this happen? I said can this happen? Can a father kill his own son? The world that we are living in, the society that we are living in. I want you to see this as they're recorded, and the reason I wanted to see this is not a story that I'm making up. It's happened right here in India. A story that I'm making up. It's happened right here in India. Father stabbed his own son to death Hours before his wedding. The accused confessed to committing the brutal act driven by what he described as constant humiliation inflicted upon him by his son. Now I'm addressing the sons, sons and daughters, alright Husbands. I also talked about wives. Then I talked about fathers. Now I am talking about children. Alright Gaurav, age 29, was attacked with a sharp weapon multiple times, sustaining 15 stab wounds to his face. You can go and check this out on the google. It's there on this exact date in the economic times on his face and chest in the residence wherever he lived in South Delhi.

Speaker 1 34:14

The motive behind the murder, as per investigators, steamed from strained relationship with father and son Strained relationship with father and son. The father cited instance of public humiliation and verbal abuse from his son. In this instance, the father was proud, heartless, without self-control, brutal, not loving what was good. He was so proud to be easily hurt and was brutal to kill his son. The son so proud to be easily hurt and was brutal to kill his son. The son, though physically strong, was weak in his character. He went to the gym, built his body, but he did not know how to relate to his father. He did not know how to take care of his mother. He did not know how to talk to his grandparents. Probably and in this story, father was humiliated to the core, father was disappointed to the core because of his son's attitude and behavior. The son was physically strong but weak in his character. He was arrogant, abusive, disobedient to his parents, ungrateful and unholy. Showing courtesy, polite behavior and esteeming others brings good relationship.

Speaker 1 35:52

Now coming back to Adam and Eve story. If Adam failed as a father sorry, as a husband he failed as a father too. The first murder listen to me very carefully the first murder recorded in the Bible, happened in the first family Both sons killing one another, both sons fighting, brother fighting other brother, sister fighting against sister, happened in the first family. The question is Adam, where are you? Serpent has come into your house. Where are you? Your sons are fighting, where are you? And eventually Abel died.

Speaker 1 36:58

Basically, god was saying Adam, you are responsible, you have a role to play. You have a role to play. This is for all the children, even though if you are married, even though if you are not married, what does the Bible say? Proverbs, chapter 22, verse 6. I'll take few more minutes. Please bear with me. I'm about to close. Proverbs, chapter 22, verse 6. Come on, I want everybody to read, everybody to read. I want everybody to read, everybody to read.

Speaker 1 37:35

Train up a child, we should go. And when he is young, we switched it, we switched the scripture. Train the old man in the way he should go, and when he is young, he will depart from it. You understand what does the scripture say? Train the train, the. Come on, help me Everybody. Train the Train the. Anybody knows. Train, not the one that goes on the two tracks.

Speaker 1 38:22

Hello, church Discipline, teaching, it's your responsibility. When I'm talking about Adam, I'm also talking to Eve. I'm talking to the father, I'm also talking to the mother. I'm talking to the father, I'm also talking to the mother. Amen. Train the child. Train the child, so that one day you don't go and stand in front of somebody and say, oh, pastor, please pray, already gone out of my hands. And we are good in putting everything on church. The church is not teaching, the church is not doing, the church is not sponsoring. No, my friend, it's your responsibility. God has given you a responsibility. God has given your role that you do it. You come to church to fellowship, to worship God. You train your kids in your own homes. That's what the Bible says. If you really want to have a peaceful home, if you really want to have a joyful home, if you really want to have a blessed home, then take your role and your position. The serpent should be kicked out even before it can come and disturb your garden. Amen.

Speaker 1 39:39

The same question God will ask each of us one day where are you? Sometimes we are found in places we are not supposed to. Sometimes we want to abdicate our responsibility, and especially when it comes to prayer, all the mothers will take step. All the you pray, you pray, you pray, you pray. What will you do? No, I'll stand back. All the husbands Huh, husbands lead the prayer meeting in your house. Come on, say it loudly. Women, they need some encouragement. You be the one who takes the step forward so that you fulfill your role, if you really want to be a good father. Right, god is our perfect example.

Speaker 1 40:46

So disciples came. Please listen to me very closely. The disciples came Lord, teach us to pray Now. What did Jesus tell them? What did Jesus tell them? What did Jesus tell them? Huh, our Father in Hyderabad, in heaven. Did he say our God in heaven, father? Did he say our God in heaven, father? If you read the Old Testament, people were literally scared to utter that word, god. Because they know that God would destroy them If they cross the line, they will die. This king went and touched the Ark of the Covenant. He was dead instantaneously. They know a God like that.

Speaker 1 41:34

But when the New Testament time came, when Jesus came, he changed the whole course of Christianity. He changed the whole course of love. He came to show us a way and he said can you help me to pray? Then he said God is your Father. Go to your Daddy. You have a need. Go to your Daddy. Daddy is there waiting for you. He is not there to punish you. He is not there to kill you. God is a father. That's how Jesus introduced God. In the Old Testament he looked like a God who is punishing you. But in the New Testament, john 3, verse 16, 16, for come on, help me. God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. He loved you.