It's Ok to Cry: A Journey of Redemption and Transformation w/Gigi Renfroe

What happens when decades of pain and struggle finally break through the walls we've built around our hearts? Gigi Renfoe's story answers this question with raw honesty and profound hope.

After battling alcoholism for over 25 years and enduring abusive relationships that nearly cost her life, Gigi found herself in a setting where everything changed. As worship music played, years of suppressed emotions erupted into tears—the first step in a transformation journey that would completely remake her life.

"I would deal with life by internalizing everything and pushing forward," Gigi reveals, describing how she became the friend who listened to everyone else's problems while never sharing her own. This emotional suppression created a prison of isolation until her encounter with God taught her the healing power of vulnerability. Her book title "It's Okay to Cry" emerged from this revelation—that tears aren't weakness but release.

The conversation takes us through harrowing moments, including being dangled from a window in an abusive relationship, where divine intervention preserved her life long before she acknowledged God's presence. These supernatural rescues, visible only in retrospect, form the foundation of her testimony of God's persistent love.

What makes this episode particularly powerful is Gigi's perspective on brokenness: "Broken in any form is still being broken," she emphasizes, dismantling the comparison barriers that often prevent people from seeking healing. Her message reaches anyone who believes their past disqualifies them from transformation: "There's never too broken or a sin too great or too much bottled inside, because God is so great and so wonderful."

Whether you're struggling with addiction, recovering from abuse, or simply feeling that vulnerability is too risky, Gigi's testimony offers tangible hope. Through her journey, we discover that our darkest moments can become our greatest testimony when surrendered to redemption's transforming power.

Ready to discover how your tears can become stepping stones to purpose? Listen now, and remember—it's okay to cry.

To connect with Gigi go to www.gigirenfroe.com
Instagram and Facebook @gigi_renfroe_christian_author

Here are my book links:
https://a.co/d/6cmUT2m

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Gigi's Redemption Story
• 3:26 Understanding Why It's Okay to Cry
• 6:11 Vulnerability in Sharing Your Testimony
• 10:53 God's Divine Protection in Dangerous Moments
• 17:55 Transformation Through Brokenness and Healing
• 24:31 No One Is Too Broken
• 29:20 Closing Prayer and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:11

you're listening to positioned for purpose conversations where I share real life struggles women of faith face in seeing god in their story, in their mess, in their hardships. In their mess, in their hardships and in their most challenging times. Romans 8, 28 states, for we know that all things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to his purpose. We motivate, empower and encourage you to not only see God in your story, but to remind you that there is purpose beyond the pain and that God wants to use your story for his glory, for you to fulfill the purposes and the plans he has for your life. I'm Colette Marie. Welcome, hi, and welcome back to another Position for Purpose Conversations with Colette Marie. Today I want to introduce you to a very special woman, but before I do so, I want to read something that I believe she's going to speak on today that is going to transform your life and points you to Christ, the Lord.

Speaker 1: 1:18

Having fought the demons of alcoholism for over 25 years, Gigi Renfoe knew she had to find a way to stop, but didn't know how. After being ministered to by an old friend and his mother and encountering a series of spiritual events, she walked into a home full of people she had never met before and her life changed. For Gigi is a Christian inspirational speaker. She's wife, mother, grandmother. She's the author of it's Okay to Cry, a testimony of God's redemption and transformation. She serves on the YouVersion spiritual support team and specifically on the leadership development team. She works in healthcare reimbursement. Today it is my pleasure to welcome Gigi Renfrew to our show. Gigi, I want to thank you so much for your yes, thank you for your obedience to come on and to share your journey, your story, to point us to Christ.

Speaker 2: 2:23

Thank you, Colette. It's an honor to be on here. I've listened to your podcast and what an inspiration you are. So just to be on here it means a lot to me. Not only you're my sister in Christ, we serve on teams in the YouVersion and it just means a lot to me that you're an author of books as well, so I look up to you. So it felt like a real big honor to be on your podcast.

Speaker 1: 2:51

Awesome, thank you. Gigi this is like a conversation that we're having. As I read through the overview of your book, what I thought was how much it can be anyone's story, but God chose you to write it as a reminder to us that it's okay to cry, and I want you to tell me why the title is okay to cry and why you felt you had to remind us about God's transformation, god's redemption.

Speaker 2: 3:22

For the longest time I didn't cry. I would deal with life by internalizing everything and just pushing forward, just pushing it down and pushing things forward, even in situations where most people do cry, when it was funerals or breakups or certain situations where someone else would probably cry a lot but I just the tears wouldn't come. The only time that I would cry, ironically, was when I was angry, and I think that was the only emotion I let myself actually feel. Everything else I didn't allow myself to feel so. When I came to the Lord, actually the first day, I walked into someone's home they were holding a small group, the song came on Break Every Chain and I bawled like a baby. I mean, the tears just came down and I felt the well.

Speaker 2: 4:27

At the time I didn't know it was the Holy Spirit, right, but I felt something warm and just something inside of me that told me to release all of those tears and it just I just cried and cried and to this day I still cry in worship music, right, we all do. But at that moment it was just a release that the Lord gave me and after that I would realize how much I would cry in his presence, right, and it was like it was okay. It's okay to cry, it's okay to feel because I'm going to make you feel better, he's going to make me feel better and it was okay because he's going to catch my tears and that's why, also for the purpose of the book cover. Um, if people that don't know, the book cover has a woman crying, you know as an eye crying, and he's catching the tears I like the cover.

Speaker 1: 5:19

I believe it just epitomized what you you said and what you're saying, and what the title is just that. Us, as women, there are times when we feel so much pain, so much hurt that it's hard to let those tears go. But there comes a time, as you shared with us, that there's a catalyst moment when the Lord is going to say it's time for you to let go all that is on the inside Because, as he said, I will heal those tears, I'll dry your eyes. And that has been a transformative experience for you. Looking back and just looking at where you're coming from not your childhood and all that you have been through Did you ever think you'd ever written a book and be here sharing your story.

Speaker 2: 6:10

No, everything I'm doing now is beyond what I ever would have thought being a Christian. I went to church every now and then, right, and I had written stories back when I was a teenager, and short stories, never you know anything big. I would write poems, but I mean, mind you, I wrote this book in my late forties, right, so it was a long time since being a teenager, so I never would have thought that I would and the funny thing is to say, share my story. I didn't even tell people, most people that have read the book. I may have known them forever and they don't even know the details of my story because, again, internalizing things and holding things to myself, I was that friend that would listen to people talk about their stories and what they were going through, but I never told them about mine.

Speaker 2: 7:09

I would just keep myself. You know, I didn't want to be a victim, I didn't want people to feel sorry for me because, you know, I knew I put myself in these situations and I just didn't really share myself with others, you know, and I always felt like I wanted to be there for other people, but they didn't need to be there for me. I was good by myself, which I wasn't good by myself. I did need the fellowship of sisters, but I also needed the Lord right, and so, yeah, I never would have thought.

Speaker 1: 7:41

Had the same, when persons made that same comment. You know persons for a long time, but then there are some things that we just it's hard to share, it's hard to tell them. This is where I've been, this is what has happened, and so some of them read it in a book and some may know. But can I ask you, when the Lord birthed this book through you, how did it make you feel when you wrote the last word, the last chapter, and that book was out?

Speaker 2: 8:15

I had actually finished most of the book, but I knew the last chapter was going to be about my wedding. But I had not been married. I finished the book. We got married in June. I finished the book maybe early May, so I knew the last chapter was going to be the book. We got married in June. I finished the book maybe early May, so I knew the last chapter was going to be the wedding. So I actually had to wait until to write the last chapter.

Speaker 2: 8:35

But I think what's ironic? And again, it was perfect. The wedding was perfect. It was something. It was small and intimate and it was beyond anything I would have thought. But it's all, god right.

Speaker 2: 8:47

But then I think it was and it's funny because I edited the book, we did everything and I read it so many times, but it wasn't until it was in a physical copy that I read it as an actual reader, right that I cried at my own self.

Speaker 2: 9:03

I couldn't even believe the things that I had gone through or that I had overcome, because of God's grace and mercy and just the transformation, like reading it, because at this time I'm sitting down and I'm looking, I'm reading it as a reader and it just it hit me that God has really done these amazing things in my life and I really made myself vulnerable in the book that I think if I would have thought twice while writing it, I wouldn't have wrote it. I think it was all God in the process. It was all God telling me because when I read it later it was like wow, like I really put it out there and I exposed myself. But that's what God wanted me to do because in order for you know other women to see that they can change, that they can transform, that there is no sin too great. There is nothing, nothing you can ever do, that God will not forgive you for you know, and so I had to expose myself, I had to make myself vulnerable.

Speaker 2: 10:12

And I did realize that afterwards like, wow, I really made myself vulnerable and I did have my Elijah moments where I just felt like I did it and then I said, am I going to regret this? And I, I wasn't. I started having doubts, but by this time the book was already going to publishing, right, but I, I wasn't. I started having doubts, but by this time the book was already going to publishing, right.

Speaker 2: 10:31

Um, but I have a wonderful Christian sister who she is like, um, you know, my best friend. Her name is Julie and she encouraged me and she just always, when I have those moments, you know, and I encourage fellowship, I encourage someone to have an accountability partner. That's what she is for me. She's the one who would pick me up and just say, no, you did what, you were obedient to the Lord, do not let the enemy bring you down because you were obedient, and it's okay, it's okay to cry, right, and so it's okay to expose yourself. And so it's okay to expose yourself. It's okay for you to be vulnerable because there's someone else that needs to hear your story, so that way they can be vulnerable to the Lord as well, and they can come to him with their vulnerabilities, with their tears and with everything that they have as well.

Speaker 1: 11:31

So there was a then. I had to talk about the vulnerability because, at the end of the day, when the lord leads us to birth a book, it's no longer about us. It's about a person who is assigned to read the book because he knows the change and the transformation. He knows he wants him to see that there is redemption in him and there's transformation that will take place. But if we're not open, if we're not vulnerable, if we're not willing to share those parts of us that he's asking us to share, there's one thing I do know he's not telling you to write something in that book that he does not want to be there.

Speaker 1: 12:06

Exactly, I know he led you to write those pieces because he knows the end user, and I'm thankful that you have an accountability partner who is was there to remind you that. Yes, it's really. It's not about you, gg, you're just the vessel that god is using. These women need to hear the truth, the whole, whole truth, the raw truth, the full truth, nothing but the truth, because it's all about change. Redemption and transformation cannot be seen if we're not willing to be open and vulnerable.

Speaker 2: 12:40

Absolutely, absolutely. That's what's important. Right there is that we have to be willing, because if we're not willing, then we can't start the process. And God's not going to force us. You know he's always a gentleman, you know he's not going to yank us to him, he might give us signs of of hey, it's time, it's time for you to come, but he's never going to force us. We have to be willing. That's the key piece. People want to change, but they have to really want to change.

Speaker 1: 13:15

Yes, yes, they have to. So we give them the information, but it's not left up to us. God is the one that makes the difference. Thank you for doing that. Thank you for sharing that. So there is a portion that I read today in the overview One of your children's father and the scenario that took place, and you were hanging through the window. When you recovered from that, what were the thoughts? If you're able to relive them, what thoughts came to your mind? And at that time, did you see that there could be any sort of redemption from you based on what has been, what has led up to that part?

Speaker 2: 13:59

I think after that incident I didn't see redemption. At that time, again, I was very young because I was a young mom, so at the time I think I was 20. And I made myself, even how I explained earlier, that toughness that made me harder, like you know, instead of thinking, because when I wrote the book I visualized the supernatural part of that that God saved me from that.

Speaker 1: 14:34

It was not those people and I saw that.

Speaker 2: 14:38

Yes, yes, I, honestly, as I did. I saw the supernatural part where it was God and the angels. I saw the supernatural part where it was God and the angels, just they. It wasn't the two people, because I don't even know how they got me out of the window. Honestly, because he, I was dangling, listen.

Speaker 1: 14:58

I'm sorry to stop you, but when I saw that and I heard what you said, I knew that was only God Cause. I could not see how they got you up untrained, with someone holding you, without there being a tussler or whatever.

Speaker 2: 15:13

Yes, I mean he had my ankles.

Speaker 2: 15:16

I don't even know how he held on to me. Honestly, I just I was all God. And now I see that, but back then it was like just dust myself off because I just lived through that and I'm just going to be angrier and you build this tough exterior shell that, these scars, instead of you realizing that those scars they're not supposed to build you towards an anger, they're supposed to build you towards healing, and that's the part we need to differentiate. You know, I thought those scars were supposed to make me harder and tougher. Yeah, they are, but not towards other people. I'm supposed to heal from that and realize, you know, what other people need healing too. You know, and even my ex that hung me from the window, you know, and even my ex that hung me from the window he needed healing.

Speaker 2: 16:13

You know he needed to be prayed for he. You know he needed to be forgiven for that incident and others you know because of things he had gone through.

Speaker 2: 16:20

But I didn't think of those things back then. Right, it was just I'm gonna I live through that and I'm, I'm tough and and I can live through anything. Right, I can do this, but I did. But at the same time, now I use it for God's glory. Right, not to sit there and say, you know, I'm, I'm this tough girl from Chicago, you know. Now it's for God's glory, because God saved me from that, not myself and not anybody else that was there on that day.

Speaker 1: 16:47

Yes, one of the things that I like about the book and just talking about it, because I've not read the book yet, but just from the overview is that you, you credit God with the change and the transformation. You credit him even when you weren't in a relationship with him. Looking back, you could see clearly that it was he who preserved you, it was he who kept you. After all that you've been through and I'm not going to give that all away You'd have to get her book. It's Okay to Cry A Testimony of God's Redemption and the Transformation, but you point us back to Christ, and that's what redemption is all about. It's not about us, but it's the only one who can redeem is all about. It's not about us, but it's the only one who can redeem, and in going to him then he produces the transformation in us. Can I ask you to just tell us a little about that redemptive transformation journey that led you to that room of women?

Speaker 2: 17:51

of people. You know there's so much that's not in the book, right.

Speaker 2: 17:55

Because, of course we can't sit there and write, especially, you know, late 40s I couldn't write. But there's so many incidents that, again, you know I was an alcoholic, you know, and when you're an alcoholic you do like drinking and driving, and you put yourself in these situations that you know, I think back and say God saved me from that, because you know, thank you, god, that I was never injured or anyone else, right. But things like that, or the relationships, you know that wasn't the only abusive relationship I was in where things were things got really bad. You know where I could have been seriously hurt, you know. And so you know, between just that and just also, you know I, I wasn't careful with myself, I didn't care, I didn't love myself, you know. So things that I, I look back on it's like wow, you, between the alcoholism and relationships and just not caring about how I took care of myself as far as things, even things like how we eat and I had high blood pressure, I wasn't careful with that. Things like that you think of like God's really saved me from, from the littlest thing to the biggest thing. And and once you start, you know like there was such a journey and when my daughter got sick with the, with the kidneys, you know, and, and she needed me because she was about to, she needed a kidney transplant. There was something else that clicked on me that it was like, you know, I don't only need to be there for myself, but there's my family. And not that I should have thought of those things before, but when you're selfish, you're selfish. We think of, we think about oneself, but we don't think about the whole picture. But there was so much more to this picture and life, life in itself. And there's all these things. You realize after the transformation, like, wow, I did, there was so much to be grateful for, there was so much with my kids to be grateful for.

Speaker 2: 20:05

And after a transformation, people think, oh well, you know, you, you came into this late in life. Do you have regrets? And I think, well, yeah, I do regret not coming to the Lord sooner. But the Lord knew his timing on things. Everything happens in his timing. It's always the perfect time on his time, on God's time. God's time is always perfect and there's a reason for his timing and we're not to question why. But looking back and all the transformation, I'm grateful that he's brought me out of it. I'm grateful for what I can share with people. I'm grateful that I have a loving family, a loving husband now and all that transformation. Had I not transformed, I probably would be in the same routine, but there's been so many blessings afterwards I couldn't even, like the song says, you can't even count the blessings you know, because there's just so many and the transformation. Like I said, when I look back on reading the book, I can't even believe it myself and a lot of people that know me they can't believe it either you know, but God is.

Speaker 2: 21:15

God is wonderful and he's transforming and he can do that for anybody.

Speaker 1: 21:20

Yeah, one. Sometimes we concern ourselves so much in oh, my past was this and my past was that, and I wish this and I wish that. And if someone asked me if I regretted my past, I would say the only thing I would regret is maybe not going to Christ or staying with Christ. But if I didn't go through what I went through, I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be able to share my story, I wouldn't be able to encourage others. God has an exact timing for every single one of us, and when he calls, we will respond in the right way at that right time. And so what I'm thankful for is that he preserved you and when he called you, you answered yes to the call. It didn't matter that it was in your 40s, because that's the right age for you, right, right, it's for the ages that God has already assigned them. But can you imagine when you see someone within your own age group and you pick up a book you want to read because you are there, and that's separate apart from another?

Speaker 1: 22:38

one who's going through something else that I can benefit from. I could see myself. The scenarios might not have been the same, but it's something that drew me to say all right, this is the place that I'm at. Yes, what can I?

Speaker 2: 22:56

take from this yes, just being broken in any way is still broken, no matter how it got to be broken, it's still broken, exactly.

Speaker 1: 23:09

Exactly. If there is any message that I would want to take, that's the message Broken in any form is still being broken Absolutely and that's the message I want other people to know.

Speaker 2: 23:27

Like our stories may not be exactly the same right, but our brokenness, that broken heart that we have, that's still the same and God still heals the same. Yes, you know, it may be in different phases, it may be in different forms, but it's still healed by the same God.

Speaker 1: 23:49

I want to read something for you and this is from your testimony Because, guys, you have to go get the book and also go to gjrenfocom and get some additional info. In that first small group, my lips were stammering. Within a couple more small groups, I was full-blown, speaking in tongues. I didn't know why God was giving me this heavenly language, but I was determined to know everything there was to know about him and how to get close to him. Judy, I want you to speak to that woman who has been hurt, has faced difficult trials and is saying to herself I don't see how God can use me. I've been too broken. I don't see redemption, I don't see how transformation can come and I have too much bottled up on the inside. I don't even know how I could cry about where I've been.

Speaker 2: 24:51

And there's never too broken or a sin too great or too much bottled inside, because God is so great and so wonderful and he can take anything that you have. We have to realize that God knows us. God knew us before we were born. He knew us before we were formed in the womb. So he knows everything we've been through. And while people have hurt us, we have to realize God did not intend for us to live that way. He never intended for us to live broken. God has always intended for us to live a life with him. But we have to choose that and we have to expose ourselves and just release that all to him.

Speaker 2: 25:45

I never would have thought that I would have released all that bottled up emotions and anger and just everything I had been through, and least of all in a book so that way the world could see it. But doing so has done so much for my closeness with him, because the relationship with him is better than anything you will ever experience. He'll take those tears. He takes all those fears, those angers, those anxieties, everything, every feeling that anyone could ever feel. He will take that and heal it and bring it to a place of transformation and redemption where new things happen to me now, absolutely. You know, all the time I mean, I still struggle, but it's different, because when you have a piece that surpasses understanding, then it's just different. And the only way I can explain that to someone is that come and see, just try it, just give it all up to him so you can feel it too. So you can feel it too because it's a redemption, it's a feeling that is you don't want.

Speaker 2: 26:58

You know, yes, people do go back because they do fall back into sin, but that's the thing God will still forgive you, god will still take you. And people think that too. Oh well, I failed. And sometimes people stop right in the beginning because they feel like, yeah, I came to Christ, but I'm not ready. Keep going, keep going, just keep giving it all to Him. And if you stumble a little bit, keep going, keep get back up, because the Lord will still keep taking you and forgiving you, and just keep giving it all to him. There's no one too broken, there's no sin too great. We just have to keep giving it all to him. He's such a great God.

Speaker 2: 27:41

And, coming from my story, like I said, there's parts that aren't in the book because I couldn't put everything in there. But there's a lot more to the story and there's a lot of pain and a lot of suffering. Again, you know, I gave it all to the Lord and he told me it was okay to cry and I let those tears fall and fall and you know, now when I cry during worship it's a different cry right, because it's just you're just in love with the Lord and just everything he's done and you're grateful. One of my daughters, when she came to church with me one time, she had not been saved and she says there's a lot of people crying during the songs. Mom and I said every one of those people, they've been through something that God saved them from. Every one of those tears are tears of joy and because God saved them from a life that they were suffering from and now God's redeemed them.

Speaker 1: 28:38

And that is the perfect way, I believe, to end our podcast. I was going to read something else. I think I'll leave it for the audience to get that from the book. Gigi, I'm so grateful that you were able to share your heart. There's a message that others will have to hear, and so I want to thank you again for joining us on our podcast. You can get her book. It's Okay to Cry a testimony of God's redemption and transformation. Check it out at ggrenfocom, See it on Amazon and it will be in the show notes. Gigi, can you please pray for us?

Speaker 2: 29:20

Heavenly Father, thank you so much for our girl conversation here with Galette and I, because we serve on the the u-version team and we don't get to share conversations like this all the time. But this, this was amazing and you know we share the same spiritual bond with you, lord, that you know you are our heavenly father and and you've brought us both out of such turbulent times and past, and we pray that any woman listening out there that's been broken or feels that she's too ashamed or too scarred or the hurts have just piled up, lord, we pray that those women come to you, listen to the podcast, go on to the website, go either read my book and just realize, lord, that that that you can save anyone, you can heal anyone, you can transform anyone. You love us all and you've always loved us all, and we pray for all the women listening today that they can be transformed and redeemed as well, lord, and we ask you these things in Jesus' name, amen.

Speaker 2: 30:30

Amen and amen. So, guys, thank you so much. It's such a pleasure speaking with you. I love it. Yes.

Speaker 1: 30:38

Thank you so much. If you enjoyed this week episode and found a value in it, would you consider liking, subscribing on either Apple, spotify or iHeart podcast, share with a friend or leave a review on the show. You doing? That helps to allow other persons to find this podcast and also make it be a blessing to them. Looking forward to see you next week. Thank you.