Episode 17: Gratitude: Being Grateful Transforms the Journey from Addiction to Purpose

In this heartfelt conversation, Rich, Rich V, and newly permanent co-host Abbie explore how gratitude practices evolve throughout recovery. The hosts share their personal gratitude rituals—from morning prayers and meditations to simply pausing to appreciate a beautiful flower or cloud formation throughout the day.
 
 What makes this discussion particularly valuable is the practical application of gratitude as a weapon against negative thinking. Each host reveals their personal "go-to" thoughts that help combat spiraling negativity—whether it's picturing a joyful pet, reflecting on proud moments with family, or connecting with their higher power. They demonstrate how a "thankful thought is one of the few things that can match the velocity and force of a negative thought."
 
 Perhaps most powerful is their revelation about finding gratitude for struggles and pain. Rich V shares how the coping skills he developed through recovery enabled him to manage chronic pain from CRPS.
 
 The conversation culminates with what they identify as the ultimate expression of gratitude: service to others. The ability to show up authentically for family and friends, and to be of service within recovery communities provides what Rich V describes as "the best high you can have."

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Transcript

Rich G: 0:01

Addiction to Purpose with Riches in Recovery welcomes you to our audience. We hope that you enjoy today's show and will join the discussion by dropping a review or comment. It would be tremendous if you would like rate and share our content, or even subscribe to our channel. Please be aware that not all conversations on this show are suitable for children. Additionally, we may talk about things such as sexual abuse, domestic violence and drug or alcohol abuse. If you feel that these things may trigger you, please do not tune in. Finally, if you are a heavy daily user of alcohol or drugs and are considering quitting, please consult a medical professional for assistance. Welcome to the conversation.

Abbie G: 0:45

I am most grateful for second chances.

Rich G: 0:48

I like that. Yeah, very cool.

Abbie G: 0:51

Fourth or third chances or fourth chances. I'm grateful for just the last five and a half months and how it's showing me how to live. I am grateful for the 10th step 10th step I don't have to wait for a fourth step Clean stuff up.

Rich G: 1:09

I'm grateful for life, family and my home group, dog. On.

Rich V: 1:12

Earth. I am grateful for my sobriety and my family.

Rich G: 1:18

I'm grateful for my repaired relationships with family and I'm most grateful for right now, my early birds meeting, and today I'm most grateful for being present, the ability to be present with people and friends, and for myself.

Abbie G: 1:36

I just got back from a women's retreat and it was really cool and exciting and fun and I met some cool people and I had a great time. So I'm grateful for that. But I wrote the get-tos because I've been in a lot of stress and then I get to remind myself that those are gifts too. I have a healthy body and I have an open, loving heart which is a big deal to me.

Rich V: 2:01

I'm really grateful for old friends this week. I'm literally grateful that I'm not sitting in jail or dead definitely something good to be grateful for like everything I would say right now.

Abbie G: 2:14

I'm really grateful for my health, I'm really grateful for all of the things that brought me to the point where I'm at today um self-awareness.

Rich G: 2:26

I think is another thing that I'm really grateful for this morning.

Abbie G: 2:29

I woke up with absolutely no pain. I am so grateful you can't even imagine.

Rich G: 2:39

Hi, welcome to another episode of Addiction to Purpose. We're really glad to have you this week. My name's Rich, this is my guy, rich Rich V, and we've got a new addition. This week we're going to be adding my wife, abby, to the permanent cast of characters we're going to have. She's in the lineup yeah, so now it's Rich is in recovery, plus Abby.

Rich V: 3:03

Hi so, yeah, we just wanted to add a little man. We've got to figure out something better than Riches in Recovery and Abby.

Rich G: 3:11

No, I think it's perfect. I think that's perfect. You know, there's no reason to change that.

Abbie G: 3:16

Yeah, I don't think you changed the title either. I think it's fine.

Rich G: 3:18

Yeah, but yeah we just thought it would be fun to have a little more flavor on the show with Abby and add an extra layer in Plus. She's always great every time we have her on. She's a lot nicer than we are too yeah, well you know, in some ways I don't know.

Rich G: 3:36

You're not married to her Fair. Yeah, and we're fully aware that we missed our last episode. We had a little bit of a hiccup in health, but everything's back on track and working out, and so we're back this week and we're ready to go. And let's start off with what we're grateful for this week. So, Abby, why don't you kick us off?

Abbie G: 4:02

Yeah Well, I don't know. We started with my sobriety date.

Rich G: 4:05

Go ahead. Yeah, let's do that.

Abbie G: 4:07

Well, I'm excited because I am just really leaning on two years, so I'm very excited. March 19th of 2025 will be two years, and I'm very excited because this is the longest sobriety I've ever had, and so I'm very, very excited. So 2024 was my sobriety date March 19th. I am grateful for time with family. We just went to Utah this last weekend and we had a really great time with our family. It was a hiccup of a trip, but the time with the family was really important, even though the trip was kind of weird. But it was great, I loved it. I had a great time.

Rich G: 4:46

Very cool. Thank you for that. So, of course, I'm Rich and my sobriety date is February 22, 2024. And that puts me at nine months just a few days ago. That's awesome. Yeah, I was very happy with that All the way awesome.

Rich G: 5:06

Yeah, that's very happy with that all the way, and it's a very comfortable nine months as opposed to a pulling teeth. You know feeling crazy nine months, so I'm very happy with that. And, uh, you know, what I felt very, very grateful for today was learning from others. You know, learning from others in a but also, you know, if you've been following the show, I'm back in school and being in a community of people that are learning together has just been really refreshing for me. You know, being 46 years old and back in that environment, I just dig it. You know, I love to learn and I'm being exposed to things that I haven't been exposed to before, and it's great, so I'm really enjoying that getting grades at 46 though.

Rich V: 5:46

Hey, that's awesome. More power to you. I don't know if I could do. Oh, that's 60, I don't know I'm sure you could. Yeah, I mean I could pull grades like no one's business.

Abbie G: 5:56

But do I want to yeah, that's another thing.

Rich V: 5:59

um, so yeah, so rich, rich, doing really good. Today I'm checking in, yeah, doing real good today. Things are just sort of falling into place today. It's kind of nice. It hasn't been happening for me a whole lot lately, so yeah, a really pleasant day. Things that I'm grateful for today. I'm grateful for this guy, his continued sobriety. That's really cool. I've been around since the start and getting a lot of God in him, getting a lot of sobriety in him. It's really fun to watch, so it's cool. Very, very grateful for that. But I also got to say it's my sister's birthday, so I got to be grateful for that. So she's 62 today. Yeah, I said your birthday, so how old you were. On camera says you're 62, you're really old, okay, and uh, yeah, I'm grateful for that. And then we're starting off a thing about gratuity. So yeah, that's what we're grateful for yeah, there you go and to your point speaking of, uh, gratitude, that's what we're grateful for.

Rich G: 7:04

Yeah, there you go. And to your point, speaking of gratitude, that's what we're covering today Seems like an appropriate time of year to talk about gratitude, and we all have a lot of it in our life, whereas in previous years of our life we probably should have had a lot of gratitude but didn't. But we've learned to recognize what we should be grateful for much better.

Rich V: 7:28

We may have had a lot of gratitude, but it was for funky stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Abbie G: 7:33

Yeah, I don't know. Mine was like pretend gratitude. I would say it but I didn't really mean it. To be honest, like I would say to me like oh yeah, I'm grateful for this or that, but like my heart wasn't really in it.

Rich G: 7:43

I would say to me like, oh yeah, I'm grateful for this or that, but like my heart wasn't really in it, Right, because you were still focused so much on what. I don't have. Yeah, you know, that's what ruined my gratitude before is because I would flip to selfishness. What don't I have, pity me, oh, poor Richard.

Abbie G: 7:58

Oh yeah, you know it was pulling teeth to find something to be grateful for.

Rich G: 8:02

Yeah.

Abbie G: 8:03

I can find one thing and be like oh, I guess I'm grateful for this.

Rich G: 8:06

Yeah, I could be grateful for like six minutes.

Rich V: 8:11

Yeah, of course that guy is grateful for that. Yeah, I don't have anything. But man, look at that guy. Right, yeah, you know I work harder than them. Yeah, yeah, I work harder than all of them. I don't have anything. Look at them. Yeah, I'm grateful for, yeah, what? Nothing. That's how it always be.

Rich G: 8:29

I'm grateful because I've got another 30-pack of bud in the fridge, so I'm cool, yeah, so gratitude, it's something that we've learned to practice, and that's kind of my first thing to throw out to you guys is do you have a practice where you're really intentional about practicing gratitude on a daily, or? Or you know what? What does your practice of gratitude look like?

Rich V: 8:57

I mean mine's simple, I mean it's right out of the book, but I mean I'm not supposed to say that anyway, but um, you know it's. It's the same way of starting my day every single day. You know I I do it purposely before I get out of bed or if I, you know, have to use the facility and then get back into bed, you know, but I open up with prayers and uh, then I just sit there as part of my prayers and, you know, think about what I'm grateful for. And you know I used to run a list on paper right next to my bed and I'd run a list and then I'd add to the list and add to the list and before I knew it I had this like three, four pages of people and things I'm grateful for. But you know, then there's people, people, stuff gets old in there and, yeah, you're still grateful for those things that are old and all that sort of stuff.

Rich V: 9:54

But now I just I take the time when I'm doing this in the morning and I take some deep breaths in the morning, you know I do my normal prayers, but then when I do gratuity, you know I like to keep it more currently what I'm really feeling grateful for, of course, the people in my life, that's. You know, I have a ton of people I'm grateful for and that I love, so I put those in there and you know the things that are going on and the things of nature that I'm grateful for and that I love. So I put those in there and you know, and then things that are going on and then things of nature that I'm grateful for, and I'll just keep, you know, talking to God and being really grateful for these things, and you know it's funny, the more I think about it and I take my time doing it, instead of trying to rip off some list or whatever like that. I take my time doing it and it takes me from this this sleepy guy getting up, you know, sleepy bear getting up to, uh, to a happier mood in the morning. You know, because I keep, you know, start, keep thinking about things that I'm grateful for and just taking my time and oh yeah.

Rich V: 11:07

I got this going into my life. That's right. And you know, oh yeah, that's right, I got this going on in my life, I've got this person in my life, and yeah, you know, that's kind of cool and I'll think of it some more and more.

Rich V: 11:25

Before I know it, I'm starting off my day great. I've been able to be grateful for the things that I want to talk to God about, that I'm grateful for, and start it off a day a great way, and I get moving that way, and so that's how I get my, you know, grateful for. But I mean I don't want to expand this because everyone wants to start this, but, but, but but one. One thing I do also is I try to keep it a practice all day long of stopping and being grateful for even the littlest things. Yeah, Stop. I love that flower. I'm grateful for that flower. You know I didn't do it when I was drunk.

Abbie G: 12:09

Yeah.

Rich V: 12:09

You know I didn't do it when I was. I was just thinking about that next beer. You know, thinking about the next thing that would get me high. You know, next thing to ruin. Basically, you know, I didn't take a second to be grateful for the little things in life. And now I stop and take a second to be grateful for that little thing in life and it gets you in that good mood the rest of your day. It takes me out of myself, you know, it just takes me out of myself. And be grateful for that little thing, no matter what I have going on. Yeah, that little thing, no matter what I have going on. I'm just yeah, it just helps me get through this. You know, if I'm having a super bad day helps me get through that minute. If I'm having just any part of a decent day, I'm stoked. I'm having a great day because I just noticed that flower, yeah, and it really sounds dorky, but it really does help.

Abbie G: 13:03

Yeah, I know I do the same thing. Yeah, yeah, I do the same thing. Yeah, my my uh grateful it.

Abbie G: 13:09

It's been a journey like at the beginning yeah, it is a journey yeah, really, it's definitely been like it's been an ever-changing thing, like, at the beginning, my sponsor had me writing a gratitude list and I did that for a while and I I liked that, but it's it stresses me out a little because I I'm like trying to think of things at the moment and I'm like, ah, you know, you know I don't think of enough things. I feel like I'm failing, you know, and so that's a weird thing. It's my own neuroses, I get that, but, um, but, I did that for a while and I do like that. However, I did that for a while and I do like that. However, um, my, I found that that during the day has been more helpful for me, um, but I've also found that. Well, I start with praying. First of all. I say that's fine Every single day God, thank you for everything you've given me. That's all, and then I start maybe specifying some things.

Rich V: 14:07

But then and this is in the morning- Uh-huh Every day.

Abbie G: 14:09

And then there's also, part of the journey was meditation. Because we have a certain meditation I call our the go-to meditation. Yeah, what do we call it? It's the, I don't know. We call it the Well it's called the morning ritual.

Abbie G: 14:31

Yeah, but what do we call it? It's the, I don't know. We call it the. Well, it's called the morning ritual. Yeah, anyway, we call it our like, you know, our normal, like I don't know, go to whatever faithful, yeah, yeah, old faithful anyway.

Abbie G: 14:36

So it's called the morning ritual and it has, like it starts off and then it goes into like you know, relaxing and just relaxing your body and stuff like that.

Abbie G: 14:45

And then it goes into, um, seeing what you want for your day, visualizing what you want for your day. And then it says being grateful for what you know and have and think and your family and all these things. And then, um, so it's like these little sections of things to do and that really inspired me to think about and it just was like this like really visualizing the gratefulness and also the things you want to see in your day, visualizing what you want to have and see. So that was another portion of it. And then now I do that where I go through my day and I literally will just I do that where I go through my day and I literally will just when I notice something, I will just stop and say that's so beautiful, I'm so grateful that for that like, for instance, like it does take practice though oh, it definitely does, because you have to really be present, because you, if you're not present, you won't notice.

Abbie G: 15:40

And being drunk, obviously, you're not present. When you're drunk and that was what I was going to say is like when you're not, when you're drinking, you are literally not present for anything, you're not paying attention to anything, even yourself you know what I mean.

Abbie G: 15:54

Like you're walking around getting bruises because you didn't even know you hit a wall you know, and so I walk, I walk around the building at work and I'll go outside and I'll see the sky and there'll be like just beautiful clouds, beautiful blue, and then the trees cause we have some redwoods at work and I'll stop and take a picture and it looks like just like a regular day, but it's just like the trees coming up into the sky with the clouds and the blue sky, and it's just so beautiful and it's I see it every single day the same way. But it just looks so gorgeous and I just feel blessed to see it with my eyes that I'm not blind, I'm not sick, I can walk, I'm at work, I can work. I just feel so grateful for all of those things. You know what I mean. I have all those things that I can do. I can work, I'm not blind, I can walk, I'm in good health All the things.

Rich V: 16:44

And do you get a quick connection with God when you oh yeah, With your higher power? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that rocks, absolutely Gives you a quick, quick moment just to be in touch with your higher power. Yeah, yeah, it's awesome.

Abbie G: 16:57

Love it. It's just have to remember to do it. But yeah, once you start to think that way, it starts to become like a ritual or like a just a constant thing that you just go into. You know what? I'm so grateful that I have this or that I found this or that this thing worked out because, well, for instance well, I don't know if we're already going to get into this, but last weekend we had a crazy weekend and we had to reroute our flights and instead of well, we will tell that little story later but, um, we were taking two flights and we had to reroute to go to Las Vegas and then we were going to take a charter bus to St George, and so then it ended up we're like, oh, it's crappy, we have to do that. It ended up that we found out that we can actually get get to, uh, st george cheaper than we were doing it this whole time because of our accidental like reroute that we had to do happy little accident like ross yeah.

Abbie G: 17:59

So we're like we can take one flight to las vegas, then we can take a charter boat which is $30 instead of $100 and whatever dollars for a flight, a second flight which is like way cheaper. So it's like then we were like, oh OK, this was really annoying, but we're really grateful for that, because now we can probably it's possible we could go more often then, you know, and our family can come here more often possibly.

Rich G: 18:21

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And listening to you guys, you know, I think my my practice of gratitude, like you, rich, you definitely remind me. First off, you remind me of when I was like working on sobriety and you'd ask me so often well, have you stopped to smell? The roses you know have you stopped to be grateful for anything. Today, it's hard to do um?

Abbie G: 18:42

yeah, he probably got really annoyed at that.

Rich G: 18:44

He's like shut up, you know, but um, but you know, but your morning practice is very similar to mine and I was kind of chuckling as you were talking because, you know, when I wake up in the morning I I remind myself of like a steam engine trying to get going, you know, and so you know a steam engine, right?

Rich V: 19:02

so so when I start my gratitude, yeah, so when I start my gratitude.

Rich G: 19:07

I'm like I'm glad I woke up, I'm glad I have a dog, I'm glad I have this nice bed, I'm glad my alarm clock went off, I'm glad my wife is here and then I'm able to build up to like okay now, and eventually I get into the bigger things in life that I'm grateful for, you know, but I kind of like chug chug chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, like little pieces right, like just to get my brain going, but it's a really nice way to to wake up, just kind of like building into this like here's all everything that I'm grateful for, and then I drop into like prayer.

Rich G: 19:44

I mean, that's the beginning of my prayer. Right, it's just gratitude for the first few minutes, but yeah, like that's my initial, that would be what I say my initial practice of gratitude is.

Rich V: 19:54

And then that's fun I like that.

Rich G: 19:56

I never heard that before and then I write out three. I like to write out three gratitudes, right? So I just pick three of the things that maybe came to mind and I write them down for that day. You know just as something. Honestly, I never even look back at them, but I feel like just putting pen to paper, your brain works just a little bit differently, and so I feel like putting them down to paper just does something a little different with them.

Abbie G: 20:21

Yeah.

Rich G: 20:22

And so I do that and that's basically my practice of gratitude. Other than you know, we'll talk more about it with some other questions, but where I plug it in to the rest of my day.

Rich V: 20:31

Yeah. When you're putting it down to paper, though, you know what is your whole feeling and your thought process. As you're putting it down to paper, how does it feel?

Rich G: 20:41

It's just something that I'm doing. I think it's just because it's just something that I'm doing, I think it's just because it's just more intentional. You know, I mean, my gratitude, of course, is intentional when I'm praying it, but it's also just like in and out. You know, it's more meditative, I guess when I'm praying it and then when I'm writing it down on paper it's more intentional. Like you know, it carries a little more weight, I guess. Yeah, it sinks in and yeah, and like you know, I'm I'm definitely like a learner. I do well to take notes. When I, when I want to learn and actually remember something, I'm good to write it down. You know, yeah right, writing something down versus just hearing it or reading it, yeah, really just makes my brain work different. Yeah, so if I write it down it, just hearing it or reading it really just makes my brain work different. So if I write it down, it just sticks a little more. I can remember a little better what I'm grateful for that day.

Rich V: 21:33

Do you need to take it with you or just that sticks?

Rich G: 21:35

No, I write it in a little notebook and then put it on my shelf and move on about my day. Nice, I do three little affirmations too. Sometimes those are the same. I am happy. It's just basic. You know it's really today. I am grateful for whatever it is you know, oh, the affirmations, yeah, it's funny.

Rich V: 21:57

You know how, on saturday night live, they do the whole thing where the guys look in the mirror and and doing affirmations in the mirror and so forth. They're making fun of it. I do affirmations in the mirror, yeah, I do. I do. It's the same ones every day. You know it's and I have fun with it because of how much fun was made of it before. You know different comedians making fun. I don't care. Yeah, I do affirmations in the mirror every day and I love it. It's fun. I just make sure I tell myself how much I love myself and it's been so important for me in sobriety, letting myself know how much I love myself. That was a big. That stumbling block for me when it came to sobriety is actually learning to love myself. I didn't know how much it was until I, you know, really worked at my sobriety.

Abbie G: 22:58

Yeah.

Rich V: 22:59

You know, and continued my sobriety, and it's still something I have to remind myself every day, you know. So I just I was told to by this big biker guy who taught a class you know where I was, where I went for rehab, you know. He taught us guys to look in the mirror and have an affirmation every day. And he said he did it every day. And this big biker guy who taught the class could look in the mirror and say these things every day. I can say these things every day and gosh darn it. Does it work? Yes, it does. Yeah, I affirm myself in the mirror in the bathroom every day before I walk out the door. So, yeah, yeah, I do it. I'll admit to. No, you should.

Rich G: 23:51

I think it's a great thing.

Abbie G: 23:52

It's cool, it's fun, it is fun we do a lot of meditations with affirmations and I do those.

Rich V: 23:58

Love meditating.

Abbie G: 23:59

Yeah, I've done stuff in the mirror, but usually it's hyping myself up, not affirmations.

Rich G: 24:06

You know, in good fashion, I'm always going to grab a couple of quotes for us to talk about. Got it, baby. And this first one is cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.

Rich G: 24:27

And that quote is from Emerson, and what it kind of made me think of is being grateful for not only the good things, but also for some of the things that could be perceived as bad or negative. And the first thing that came to mind there is, you know, because I do think that over time you can look back on some things that were perceived as negative in the moment. But then, you know, how much did you learn from that? Right, and the first thing that came to my mind was the first time that I heard somebody say I'm a grateful alcoholic, and I was like that's the stupidest effing thing I ever heard. Right, why are you grateful? You know I'm sitting here, I feel like my skin's crawling, I don't feel good, I don't want to be here and you're grateful? You sound insane.

Rich V: 25:19

This is a cult. This is a cult, it has to be yeah right.

Rich G: 25:25

I mean, like you know, because at that time my picture of 12-step meetings. It wasn't a happy place to be, it wasn't somewhere that you wanted to go.

Abbie G: 25:37

Here's the thing, though I will say it's not perceived, it's not portrayed very well on media at all. True, it's not perceived by people who've never been. True, like the dark room with the circle chairs.

Rich G: 25:49

The everybody's depressed is not what it is, but even like the one that I went to when I was. When I was a kid, I went to one with my like friend's mom and I just remember, like everybody's, smoking, nobody was happy at that meeting like you know it just.

Rich G: 26:03

But that was, that was it, and it was also my perception as a kid.

Rich G: 26:06

It was boring, yeah, I didn't want to be there as a child, you know so anyway, but but yeah, I thought it was the goofiest thing.

Rich G: 26:13

But I can tell you, I look anybody in the eye today and just say how grateful I am to have experienced being an alcoholic, and that's because today I recognize, today I recognize that my problems went so much deeper than just substance use, alcohol abuse. You know, the substance was something that I needed to recover from, but there was so much more that I would have never addressed, yep, had I not had reason to get sober. Yeah, you know, I had so many other maladies happening, happening in my life, spiritually, and you know my relationships with other people and and all of that that I've been able to do so much now to repair and just like, just like this whole thing, like having, like having gratitude. I gratitude wasn't something that I even understood how to practice and now I've got it every single day in my life, even on the worst day yeah I have gratitude yeah and that was not something that that I could do before.

Rich G: 27:25

On my worst day it would be my worst week, my worst month, my worst year, like it would just stretch on because I couldn't stop the negativity. But today it's okay.

Rich V: 27:37

I'm like okay you get to pause when all the negative activities go a bit and just cut it right off there and then think of something beautiful in your life and then, boom, there you go, having a good rest your day I just can't.

Abbie G: 27:50

I can't even tell you this. Last weekend, because it was such a cluster like we had, he called every day the to the airport to get our bags. Like it was, we had to go shopping before the wedding. It was like a mess, right. We were late here, late there. We had to call these people and instead of us fighting the whole time, he's calling to get our bags so we can get them before we leave Utah. I'm saying thank you so much for doing that and then we're supporting each other. We're not we. We in our what I call my past life, we would have fought the entire time.

Rich G: 28:24

Yeah.

Abbie G: 28:25

And we would have yelled and screamed and been selfish and drank and we would have. It would have been totally different.

Rich G: 28:30

And then instead we're able to just say like, hey, how grateful are we that we get to be at this wedding, how grateful are we that we get got to be here with my niece for her special day.

Abbie G: 28:41

Now that you know like, airline's gonna pay for a new outfit for me, new boots.

Rich G: 28:45

It's gonna pay for this stuff and yeah, it's annoying right now, but you know yeah but but yeah, we were able to look at things with with much more gratitude and even like, hey, you know people, the people that we worked with along the way, helped us out and they were, yeah, they were nice so we were grateful for them because, yeah, they're and they're going to help you out.

Abbie G: 29:08

So much more because you guys were cool about it well, and, like I said, we got to be there with our family and that was the most important part.

Rich G: 29:14

But yeah, even today when I make some bonehead mistake, I'm able to look at it, just make the little corrective action and then look back on it and go like, well, now I've learned from that, so I don't have to be tore up about I don't get tore up about. I be tore up about I don't get tore up about. I mean I won't say anything. I'm sure something could come along that would get me for a minute. But man, I can't think of the last time that anything really got me, not like it used to yeah not like it used to.

Rich V: 29:43

Something will poke at me, but nothing really gets me anymore, and it's because I live a life of gratitude yeah yeah, yeah, I mean, uh, you know I've talked about my CRPS in my right arm before that, my disease in my right arm, the nerve disease and um, and I've heard all these people talk about being a grateful alcoholic and you know I thought it was just a bunch of BS. There. There's a line you know, just to. You know, keep people sober or whatever. I just didn't get being grateful to have a disease that you're stuck with for the rest of your life. You know I'm different than everyone else. You know I can't have alcohol when they can, even though I'm drinking, more than 10 or 12 people should have ever drinking in their life. You know, kind of used up on my my card for drinking, but you know. But you know I just yeah, but I learned how to. Sorry, taking me a me seconds put this all together. Sorry about that.

Rich V: 30:55

I had learned how to live my life, uh, one day at a time. Uh, alcoholism, it learned. I had to learn how to live one day at a time, stay sober one day at a time, one minute at a time, one second at a time, and there are times where I just so wanted alcohol but I couldn and I had to figure out how to get through that second. And there could be all these different schemes and all these phone calls and everything that you can make, but I had to figure out how to not get alcohol, how to not go to the 7-Eleven, how to not do this, how to make it through this time. You know what to do and how to make it, you know. And so I had to figure it out. And I was alcoholic, you know, and getting sober and staying sober, you had to figure all this out. You know I called people that would help me out and, you know, got help and I learned how to pick up a phone and I learned how to get help.

Rich V: 31:46

And, you know, when there was no one I could call or no one like that, you know I had. You know somewhere I could listen to or something I could do to help me stay sober. There was always somewhere to call or something to listen to and there was always something I could do to help me stay sober. There's always something to do that can help me stay sober, always something to help me stay sober. No matter what anyone says, there's something you can do to stay sober, to help you stay sober, no matter what anyone says. There's something you can do to stay sober, to help you stay sober, and then I got this disease, and it's something I'm stuck with for the rest of my life, and it's something that I'm in a lot of pain with all the time Not all the time.

Rich V: 32:26

It's a lot of pain. I've always got some pain, but sometimes it gets to the point where it's unbearable unbearable to live with, and if I don't have anyone around me to talk to or anything like that. I realized, though, that, with being an alcoholic, I've learned how to pick up the phone and call someone. I've learned that there's all sorts of different ways to take care of myself, to distract myself, so I could get through that next minute of pain, that next half hour of pain, that next hour of pain. Before I know it, I'm rolling it through the entire rest of the day, figuring out how to get through that day and making it through the next one where I started feeling better. And if I didn't learn that through being an alcoholic, you know I I I know I wouldn't be here.

Rich V: 33:22

You know, I, I, I couldn't have handled it.

Abbie G: 33:25

Yeah.

Rich V: 33:25

If I didn't learn how to get sober. You know, you know to get sober by being an alcoholic and learning how to get sober, yeah, yeah, I couldn't handle it. Yeah, you already built up that stamina, stamina yeah, I learned how to figure it out, how to take um live on life's terms. Yeah, yeah yeah and you know what it takes, what it takes to get through a minute, two minutes. You know you can do it.

Rich V: 33:52

You know you can do it yeah, yeah, yeah, and you knew you already could yeah, yeah, I knew, I already could yeah, yeah yeah, because I, yeah, you know getting getting sober and going through the pain yeah, I don't know which one's worse, you, you know, pick them, but uh, yeah, and so I don't have to deal with it. So that saved my life. Yeah, pretty grateful, being alcoholic.

Abbie G: 34:18

Well, the only good thing I would say is you don't have to make amends for pain.

Rich G: 34:23

I guess that's true, right.

Rich V: 34:27

This is true, all right, so yeah, all right, just throwing.

Abbie G: 34:33

this is true, all right.

Rich G: 34:33

so yeah I don't know, I'm just throwing that out there.

Rich V: 34:34

I like that. See, there you go. Something else to be grateful. I'm grateful, I'm right there.

Abbie G: 34:36

Give me another card I mean maybe to yourself, but not to anybody else. Oh yeah, I'm, I'm with, uh, I'm with you guys. I have, I, um, I have shared this at a meaning level where I realize I am grateful for the bad times, even the worst times, the worst times, because you can't see the miracles that have happened in your life without those times.

Abbie G: 35:09

Yeah your life without those times, yeah, and so that's why I'm grateful for those. The only time you can see those miracles is if you, if you, have the bad times and then you see what's happened after those bad times and you see the miracles that have happened. I think I might have even said this on the podcast before, but, like I, I, it gives me chills just thinking about it. But it's like you can't, I and I know it's so cliche to be like you can't have good without bad, you can't have light without dark. But that's how the world is, that's how the world works, and it's just the truth, it's. The world is balanced. Mother nature, god, whatever you want to call it, is that way, it's. It's, it's always going to balance itself out and, um, I don't like having the bad times and I don't like having to try to find the good and the bad, you know.

Abbie G: 35:55

But I also know that when one of the things that was um, kind of interesting, I feel like recently, because I've kept my um higher power, uh connections so good lately that, uh, he's just following me around, yeah, so like I'll, I'll, I'll either be grumpy and I'll be like this, and then the next day he'll be like oh yeah, you shouldn't do that, you should do this, and he'll convict me. And then this other time it was like we were on the way to the wedding and we were saying we were just like grumpy and we're like, ah, you know, and we're trying weumpy and we're checking our attitude and stuff like that. I was like you know what we really need to do? A meditation. Because I was just like, and so I put on the meditation and I didn't know what it was about. And I put it on and it's a meditation about finding happiness in the bad times, during the bad times or during the stressful times, like legitimately, and I was like, okay, well, okay, well, you know, that wasn't an accident, right yeah so it's just.

Abbie G: 36:55

That's what I'm saying it's like, it's just like all the little things. If you really pay attention, you're really. That connection is really there. It's like it's just like those little things just follow you around and help you out every step of the way.

Abbie G: 37:08

Yeah, you know, and then you say, oh, I'm oh, then you can easily be grateful. Yeah, because then you're like, oh, I'm so grateful for that meditation. That was exactly what I needed, you know, and I walked into the wedding in a great mood, excited to see everybody threw some charcuterie boards together and we had a great time.

Rich V: 37:30

Yeah, when you pause you can see God's handiwork all the time.

Abbie G: 37:34

It's just yeah, it's amazing, Awesome.

Rich G: 37:36

That kind of leads right into the next thing I was going to going to read is one of the lines from Stephen Frederick's book do the new you and that is a thankful thought is one of the few things that can match the velocity and force of a negative thought, and you know. So the question there is do you use gratitude to stop automatic negative thoughts, which counselors and therapists like to call ants? And you know, I think, yeah, automatic negative thoughts and yeah, I mean, that's something that I still. It doesn't matter how well I'm doing in life, I still have that. You know, that devil that exists on my shoulder.

Rich G: 38:20

Always will that just wants to go like whatever it is. You know they don't like you. You know, whatever it is're, you don't have as much money as you should you know like whatever, whatever it is, you don't have what you need they're judging you right now. Yeah, right like you didn't say that, right, so everybody's judging you and all of these things and, and sometimes those things can get intense in your head, right, sometimes. Sometimes that gets on a loop, you know, whatever, whatever it is that's stressing you out you know, you know finances is one that gets a lot of people.

Rich G: 39:00

But also you know somebody says something a little funny to you or something and you start obsessing about how they perceive you or whatever. And you know I've had plenty of people tell me that, like other people's thoughts's thoughts aren't your business. But and you know you can tell me that a thousand times you know what.

Rich V: 39:16

It doesn't fucking help oh, you know you feel lucky that you're not dating anymore.

Rich G: 39:20

Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, because I don't care what her thoughts are.

Rich G: 39:25

Um no, but you can read each other a lot right, that's true, but but you know, I do find I've gotten better at the pause when agitated thing. I've gotten better when I do get something like that that's just tumbling around in my head like it's a dryer to go. Wait, what am I doing? Ok, hold on. How can I burn this off? You know what one of my go to's is is picture my puppy dog when I offer him like the ball or a treat or a bone and he starts wagging his tail and he's all happy. I'm like, okay, think of luche when he's wagging his tail and I'm like there it is and these two have the coolest dog.

Rich G: 40:08

Yeah, he's bad I'll throw up a picture, uh, when we, when we put this up, um, but, uh, but yeah. You know, that's one of the things I go to right, like just picture dog, when he's wagging his tail and like I'm like, how can you not be happy when you picture that?

Rich V: 40:26

yeah, I go to a pet store and get something for my, for my cat, and I think about getting something for their dog.

Abbie G: 40:34

Well, he's the cutest, so he's, he's cool. I don't blame you.

Rich G: 40:37

But yeah. So I mean that's one of my locked and loaded. But I have a few things. You know that I keep locked and loaded for that work, you know, and sometimes it is just lock in something small and simple that you can use for you know combat, you know you're going to war with your own brain and so that's what I use. I don't know Do, and so that's what I use. I don't know, do you guys have anything like that that is a go to for you yeah, you know there's.

Rich V: 41:00

I've got so many pictures of my daughter.

Rich V: 41:03

I was going to say it's got to be Abby of course you know I've got a lifetime his Abby, not this Abby yeah, my daughter's name is Abby, so there's Rich and Abby and Rich and my daughter Abby. Yeah, there's a lifetime of things that she's done in her life that have made me proud. You know that. You know from the littlest things you know to the you know to the biggest things, and you know that they just, uh, I could just pick one of them and doc gets me out of a bad mood like that yeah, yeah, just, she's done so many things in her life that made me proud, that made me stand up and look, and you know, not just proud of myself, proud of her, sure, you know, being being proud of her is a lot of fun.

Rich V: 41:49

That's, uh, gets me out of a bad mood, gets me out of a situation in no time. Most of the time, though, it's just I just think about God. I just say, come on, god's got better things for you than that. God's doing more for you than to be upset about this. God's done so much for you. You know why are you worried about this.

Rich V: 42:24

You know that's all it really takes me, you know, and then, if things start to get squirrely, then I just think about something amazing my daughter's done or something like that and that, you know, that gets me out of any depth at all. But yeah, there's things in the past, you know, even though I've offered them all up and you know, gone through my steps and so forth there's things in my past that pop up the old guy I wish I had done this differently. Those things pop up sometimes with you know, and, uh, it takes me a second to realize that I can't do anything about the past, but every once in a while they'll pop up and bug me and I've got to get rid of those. That's the worst for me.

Rich V: 43:07

Yeah, yeah, and you get older and you're like, ah, I've been through so much in life. I'm only 60, so I'm not that old, just old. But uh, but yeah, that pops into my life. But I just think there's so many great things that happened in my life. It just takes no time to get rid of that too. Yeah, you're not going back to the future, marty I know, you know you're stuck.

Abbie G: 43:30

Yeah, marty mcfly, yeah I don't, I I had those months ago I had ants running around and I didn't, I don't know. I didn't really handle them very well because I was trying to ignore them and they didn't go away. And then I ignored them again and they didn't go away. And I guess I don't really have a lot of go-tos. I think I just try to pray and just say take them away, because if I try to think of something, they just come back for me anyway, um, and they just they're. I, I think I mentioned on another podcast.

Abbie G: 44:06

They just come back like darts and start shooting my brain you know, what I mean, like randomly, I don't know, man, it was weird um, but I do have. I just I do think of um like my, my, my girls, my sober girls and my now I have girl groups at um church and then I have my family, my mom, and then also I just uh, turn on whitney houston really loud in the car and sing.

Rich V: 44:34

Whitney Houston yeah.

Abbie G: 44:37

Belt it out.

Rich G: 44:39

Your little niece, and then you can always think of me.

Abbie G: 44:41

Oh yeah, my niece, my other niece, the little baby one I sometimes think of you. Yeah, you're okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're fine, yeah.

Rich G: 44:48

Yeah, so I guess we've kind of talked about this, but somebody might have something left for it. Has anything happened recently where you've used gratitude to halt negativity in your day-to-day life? So we've talked about the flight, which was kind of what I had in mind when we talked about that. But we've covered that pretty well. But is there anything else that comes to mind for that?

Rich V: 45:15

I do it daily.

Rich G: 45:16

Yeah, I have to constantly do it and so it it works. Yeah, for me, you know, like I was, it was funny. I kind of talk about like nobody wants to be at a 12 step meeting or something like that, but sometimes that does it for me if I'm having a bad day and I know that I'm going to my meeting later.

Rich G: 45:34

I can be like you know what, that's fine. I'm going to my meeting later. I'm going to be with my people. I'm going to be of service. I'm going to my meeting later. I can be like you know what, that's fine, I'm going to my meeting later. I'm going to be with my people, I'm going to be of service. I'm going to say hi to my guys or my friends and I'm going to be in my community and that does a lot for me. You know, being in community is so huge. I've talked about it you heard me last night. I've talked about the last couple of days quite a lot. Why haven't we?

Rich V: 45:55

come up with this. You know, yeah, what are we grateful for? Being able to do things for others A hundred percent.

Rich G: 46:03

Why haven't we talked about that? I was getting there, man, because that's the best of the best.

Rich V: 46:09

Oh, it's yeah. Being able to do something for someone else, Ah.

Rich G: 46:13

That's it, being able to show up. You know that was a big part of it for my niece and my family, Like she was saying, for them to see us show up, even though we'd gone through some stuff, to be able to show up with grace and be there and love them and be present with them and not distracted by anything.

Abbie G: 46:31

And still make it about them.

Rich G: 46:33

Yeah, exactly, still make it about them you know.

Rich V: 46:36

I was in the shower today thinking about this show and I thought, oh well, this is easy, I'm just going to talk about I'm so grateful to be able to do something for someone else it's always the best thing to be able to do something for someone else.

Rich V: 46:49

I always have gratitude for that and I haven't even talked about this this whole time. We're here, but that's the biggest high you can have is doing something for someone else, and they could be great for what you're doing, but that's not why you're doing it. You know you do it. Well, yeah, you're doing so. They could be happy. You know doing it for someone else, but you know it's that's the best thing in the world it is but it feeds your soul man, no question does yeah

Abbie G: 47:14

it's so funny because I had a really, really stressful week. I didn't even realize I needed a meeting and I went to the meeting last night and I showed up on accident for somebody else. One of my friends was speaking last night, didn't even know she was speaking, and so I sat with a different friend and, as she was speaking, it was a wonderful share, and so I accidentally showed up for her and then we picked up another guy and he showed up for him, drove him to the meeting.

Abbie G: 47:40

That's awesome and the meeting was amazing, it was so great. And then I met another girl who just started coming to the meetings from another group and so it was like, and I got her phone number, so it was like this wonderful, like trifecta of, just like service, you know, yeah.

Rich G: 47:57

It was great. It was great, it was amazing.

Abbie G: 47:59

And it was like like just this wonderful thing to happen after this really stressful week. You know, I don't know, it's just, it was like a high, it was great.

Rich V: 48:09

Yeah, it's funny Whenever I'm, whenever I'm in the dumps, really bad, I always God always gives me something to be in service for, always gives me something to do for someone else, cause I instinctively know that I mean, I don't know, just maybe God knows that I need that to make myself feel better. More than anything is to be able to do something for someone else. Yeah, that just. Maybe God knows that I need that to make myself feel better more than anything is to be able to do something for someone else. Yeah, that always is best for me.

Rich V: 48:47

It makes me feel better than anything else is to do something for someone else, no question, yeah, yeah, I'm grateful to be able to be sober so I can do things for others. That's what I'm more grateful for than anything Big time. Yep, yep, I can't believe it took us this entire time to think of that.

Rich G: 49:05

Well, and then? So what? Well?

Abbie G: 49:07

there's a lot to be grateful for besides that too.

Rich V: 49:09

Well, that's true. So I'm grateful to have all the other things to be grateful for.

Rich G: 49:12

Yep, yep. Our episode that we're going to do on the 15th that's going to come out is going to be focused on service and gifts, so we're going to kind of end the year with that, so we'll be talking a lot more about service and being there for people next time. Anything else on gratitude this week? Otherwise, I've got a couple more questions that are just kind of like about us. Bring it on. Yeah, alright.

Rich G: 49:40

So, in the spirit of progress, not perfection, our normal closing notes, what's something you've been working on lately? For me, I can start. I've been, you know, due to school and we're coming to the end of the semester and stuff, but you know being to school and we're coming to the end of the semester and stuff, but you know being that, I'm in social work and human services classes, kind of a lot of the classes that I've been in here to start off, and I figure it's going to be this way. For a long time, it's really been about looking through the lenses of other people, people that aren't like me, people that aren't like me, right? So, um, looking through, uh, the lenses of people who are otherwise abled, who are of different, uh, ethnic background, race, nationality, culture, uh, things like that. Um so, so, yeah, so it's been like that kind of attaches to what I'm grateful for is learning from others. But you know, I've been working on trying to see things from a different perspective.

Abbie G: 50:45

Cool.

Rich V: 50:49

Look if, coming to me, I have not been working on very much at all for myself, for, yeah, I've been working on myself figuring out for myself. Uh, for, yeah, I've been working on myself figuring out ways for myself to feel better, working out different ways for, um, because I've gone through a period of difficulties and, uh, been working on ways to feel that I figured out a couple ways you know that may help in the if I utilizing them now, hopefully will help in the future. There's a couple different ways of going about things. That's awesome, man.

Rich G: 51:26

Self-care is really high on the list, man, yeah, it is.

Abbie G: 51:30

It sounds selfish, but it's. It's nothing to sneeze at.

Rich V: 51:33

Yeah, I've got to figure out a couple things. Some stuff just isn't working. So yeah, working with the figure out a couple things. Some stuff just isn't working. So yeah, working with the doctors on a couple things.

Abbie G: 51:42

That's great. Yeah, good, I think I'm working on really, like I said I mentioned earlier about God kind of following me around with the convictions and stuff. It's like I'm really trying to listen and then being humble about if I do get convicted, trying to uh approach that immediately, like as in making amends, or if I need to change my attitude right away, cause I had a couple of instances recently where, um, I had um an attitude about something and then I got convicted, like literally the next day, and then I changed my attitude immediately with that situation and now it's just blossomed into something completely different and it's amazing. And then also, um, uh, there's another situation that I just blanked on what it was, but it's been a couple of different things where I um have just been like, oh, at work I um had a really bad attitude and I came home and I was like I don't know if I need to make amends because I did this, and he's like yeah, you probably shouldn't.

Abbie G: 52:49

So I did the next day I just went in and I said had that such a bad attitude yesterday? Because I don't want to bring that into you guys, you don't deserve it. We're all working hard and everybody was really receptive. You know what I mean. And it wasn't like a big deal, like nobody was like it wasn't awkward, it wasn't weird, it was just like you know what. I just want you guys to know I'm not trying to be that person. I don't want to bring that to you and they're like, okay, cool, it was like nothing. But I'm trying to really show that I am correcting my behavior faster than I would have or than before. You know what I mean. I'm really trying to do that.

Rich G: 53:27

So that's what I'm working on is really correcting my behavior, um, in a very quick time frame I love that because, because we get to make those corrections all right and we get to be aware and we get to do our 10th step and we get to look at ourselves critically and we get to make those corrections. Yeah, 10th step.

Rich V: 53:45

It's just awesome.

Abbie G: 53:47

It also like really takes a load off my map, my mind.

Rich G: 53:50

Yes.

Abbie G: 53:51

Like I don't have to sit and obsess about it for like a week and go like do I need to do that? Do I not need to do that? If my heart's convicted, I'm just gonna do it. Just do it, just go the way of peace you know, I'm just gonna be like and f my like pride, forget it. You know what I mean if I'm prideful.

Rich V: 54:07

That's the problem.

Abbie G: 54:07

Love it I love that you don't even think about just so beautiful that's such a good message my pride doesn't need to be there anyway, so yeah, yeah, yeah, that is so good.

Rich G: 54:16

Thanks for sharing that. Yeah, that's very cool. If you have any questions about today's show or anything else recovery related, please feel free to reach out in our comments section, facebook, instagram or email the riches. You can find all of that information in the episode description. We will release episodes on the 1 or 15th of each month and we look forward to having you join us for future content.

Rich V: 54:43

I'm grateful that Abby was here for the show.

Rich G: 54:46

Absolutely.

Abbie G: 54:46

I was going to say welcome, Thank you.

Rich G: 54:49

And thank you both for hanging out today, you too.

Abbie G: 54:52

Thank you for being part of my sobriety today.

Rich G: 54:54

Absolutely.

Abbie G: 54:56

I stole it.

Rich G: 54:57

Thank you to our audience for being part of my sobriety today. Absolutely, I stole it. Thank you to our audience for being part of our sobriety today. Thank you so much for giving us some of your time. We really hope you got something out of today's episode. We would be honored if you would like and share the episode or leave a comment with your takeaways. Don't forget to subscribe to tune in to future episodes. Have a great day.