The midwives answer listener submitted questions on the following topics:
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Manski’s Seed Cycling Packs (Use Code HAPPYHORMONES10 for 10% off)
Join our email community + get instant access to our awesome Sleep Freebie: HERE
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Subscribe to the podcast to catch every episode. Follow us on Instagram for all the extra education and antics in between episodes at @beautifulonemidwifery
The midwives answer listener submitted questions on the following topics:
Links to all the extra good stuff:
Click to check out the Beautiful One Membership experience! NOW OPEN!
Manski’s Seed Cycling Packs (Use Code HAPPYHORMONES10 for 10% off)
Join our email community + get instant access to our awesome Sleep Freebie: HERE
Browse all our favorite women’s supplement recommendations: HERE
Submit your answer-on-the-show questions: HERE
Subscribe to the podcast to catch every episode. Follow us on Instagram for all the extra education and antics in between episodes at @beautifulonemidwifery
You're at home with Kelly and Tiffany I'm Kelly and I'm Tiffany and we are the hosts of today's show. Cold. Listener questions. I bet that our wise listeners can imagine what this episode is about. We are going to be answering the questions that our listeners have submitted to us. Every once in a while, I don't know. Every few episodes we pick a question that has been submitted. Through the form in our show notes. So you can go find it there. If you want to ask us question. And we're now getting questions at a rate faster than we can answer them. So we're going to take an entire episode. You answer some questions cause there's some really good ones. And again, I have to remind you ladies, that if you asked us a question that we are not answering here, It's probably because we want to do an entire episode on it at some point. So know that. We do. Have an intentional plan for getting to. All of these questions. Yeah, it's kind of fun that we are getting so many questions. Every episode in the show notes has like a link to where you can ask us these questions. And it's pretty cool to like have witnessed the volume increase over time. Oh, yes. And I will tell you there is a certain way that some questions get asked. That make us want to answer them. Sooner faster and better. And it's usually someone who says something like. I love your show. Quick question. You guys are great. I love you so much. However, I have this question. Yep. If you explain your love for us, then we'll answer your question. I'm just saying. And then if you have that much love to express. Just leave us a formal review. Just click the five V five stars right out. Like those short. But really emotional love note to us in our show and that's all you have to do. It's very, it's very simple. It's a give and take. We provide the podcast content. You return it with the review. It's simple barter system. It allows us to continue to show up here for you. So you're listening right now because of someone else's review. Ah, so let's. What's Jay John belong, play along ladies. It's like when you get in line at Starbucks and someone has paid for your order and you keep paying for the next person and you're like, well, I'm still painting. But isn't this fun to like, pay it forward and encourage other people. Yeah. That is what the review system is like. So if you are somebody who has any type of value system in your life, You will. Utilize the review. So now that you feel potentially encouraged or just properly shamed we can move on. Okay, real quick. I have an update on my life. I'm very excited for you to share this update. It feels like it's been a couple of years in the making for me to hear it. I'm really irritated with. Yeah, what I'm doing right now. That's one of my favorite parts of it. I love you, but I'm, I'm enjoying being on this side of it. The here's the thing. Aye. I don't like being told what to do. I know. So. Even though I tell people what to do all the time. I don't like it when. I have to stop and just do the right thing that someone's been like, you probably should try this. Anyway, that mysterious thing that I've been encouraged to try is seed cycling. I have dabbled in it before. I love the feedback that we get from everybody. I just, didn't not. I'm not all in on it yet in my life. But a newly inspired and invigorated because over the past several months, my cycles, my menstrual cycles have been getting shorter and shorter and. It's that part is irritating me more than the idea of a seed cycling every single day. So I'm buckling down, I'm in a seed cycle for three months straight. And we'll report back here on how that's going. But the other thing that was slightly irritating to me, I mean when I had to evaluate what is actually keeping me from being able to seen cycle. It is just the chore of getting the seeds, grinding them, storing them, taking them out. I know it's not a big deal. You're laughing at me. I. Yeah, I'm laughing because you specifically wanted like a flour grinding mill thing for. That was like your labor day gift to yourself. And you're like, I want to grow into more things and. And it's just, this is like a, just a fascinating view into your mind. I really enjoy it. I'm not enjoying your discomfort. I'm sorry. That's not what I'm enjoying. It's mostly just. I think we all have hangups like that. You are not the old everybody listening is like, I have a thing that I do that with two. You're not alone. Yeah. And so this is my thing. This is my hangup thing. Yeah. Which I, I don't, I didn't understand the irony of that until you said it, but like I spent hundreds of dollars on ingrain mill because I'm going to start milling my own grain. Which is I mean, that's another episode. That's. That's awesome and wonderful and worthy and foundational health stuff. That's great. But I will not. I will not get seeds from this store. And figure out how to get those ground up and consumed couldn't possibly. Oh my gosh. I'm such a loser. All right. Well, this has been deeply impactful, great therapy session. Thank you so much. I wanted to say, though, I love that you were willing to be like, I'm gonna do the thing that I know I shouldn't do. Even though I might not feel like doing it. And we've had a lot of clients like that who were like, that sounds like more work than I really want to do, but the outcome. Sounds like something that I want. And that seems like a worthy sacrifice to make. And so to see you and do that as encouraging to me here I am. I'm I. I am living proof that we can change and grow and grumble along the way. Listen to the benefits of seed cycling. I know we have talked about them many times before people contact us to tell us their success with seed cycling. As often as we hear about the combination of successes with everything else, 50% of the positive feedback that we get from women about implementing something into their life is because of seed cycling. You just can't deny the fact that it is incredibly impactful. It helps to regulate your periods and cycles traits. PCO S endometriosis and fertility ease the symptoms of menopause, like hot flashes night sweats. It helps women who have a PMs at the beginning of their cycles. Cramping. Lots of excess bleeding or long periods with spotting and such fatigue, mood swings. Acne, all the hormonal things that kind of go along with being a woman that can get wonky really fast. Seed cycling has documented benefits for. So we just can't ignore the fact that something so simple as seeds. Is potentially gonna be one of the key is that kind of unlocks some balance. Yeah. And it encourages you. If you are somebody who is cycling to actually be connected with what part of your cycle you're actually in. I think anything that connects us with our bodies, more, anything that is really foundational, like food is medicine sort of thing. Like we are so on board with that. And as a side note to what I just said, you can also still do it. Even if you are not currently cycling, like your postpartum. But just sharing, like that's such an added benefit for any woman. Absolutely. I think anyone can do it in so many different kinds of capacities. But knowing that my hangup was the grinding. Yes, and being willing to let someone else solve that problem for me, I decided to take my butt over to our friend, Julie, at man skis, wellness, and I bought her seed cycling packs and they're all freshly ground and combined in these sweet little packs. And you just rip them open. And stick your spoon in there and put it on your things. And I am not ashamed of that. No, nor should you be anything that's going to make life and like lady life easier. And like, it's going to actually keep you consistent with something. It's worth it. It's absolutely worth it. Side note also, this is not like sponsored. This is something that you were like, I'm just going to do it. Yeah, it wasn't like, she was like, Hey, can you talk about it? It was, this was you just being like, this is the, this is what I need in my life. Yeah. I paid money for this. Sometimes people send us free things and they're like, Hey, can you try this? And if you'd like it, you know, let your audience know about it. And we're like, absolutely. I paid him. I paid money for this. Hard to earn money for this. But we, we do have a coupon code for you guys, and we have a link in our show notes. If you want to try it, you can get 10% off your first order. Using happy hormones, 10. At Mansky wellness, you guys little love, all the different ways that she combines the seed cycling options. And so if you two would just like to throw money at a particular problem, just so that you can get on board with it. This is my recommendation. Yeah, a hundred percent. We have a free E book on seed cycling also that we'll just put into the show notes too, in case you're like, well, that sounds interesting. Not going to purchase anything yet, but one of the, like understand a little bit more that's in there for you. If you want it, you know, If you just want to check it out, learn. What all the hubbub is about. There's a lot of hubbub. Okay, jumping into questions here. I have to figure out. Which ones are. Ones that we can answer kind of quickly on the show and which ones we are going to turn into full episodes. So for starters, This one we can, this is one that we can share today. Great. Hi, Kelly. And Tiffany question for you from a Nebraska native, what is a GYN gal to do when she's completely committed to the idea of a home birth, but living in an area or an entire state with extremely limited or no options? Nebraska is one of the least home birth friendly states in the nation, but I'm a huge physiological birth advocate. As my husband and I plan our first we're faced with tricky decisions about black market midwives, home birth in an Airbnb across state lines or the oxymoron of a hospital run birth center. I'm seeking your wise and entertaining if possible, counsel. Thank you. That's some pressure to be entertaining with an answer to this high bar, because she loves entertaining just in her question. I loved hearing that and what a gift it is to already know that something is so important to you that you're like, I have to sort out what the real answer is, and you know, already this, she knows. The hospital is not what she wants. That's just simply not what she's going for. Why. Why does she call it an oxymoron? Why does a hospital run birth center potentially become an oxymoron? Because the idea is that it is still hospital run. So what she's trying to stay away from our hospital policies are providers that aren't encouraging of the physiological process in general, whether it's them personally, or simply the system within the, within, which they work is not encouraging of that in multiple ways. And so the fact that it's hospital run or hospital connected or whatever the term may be you're still falling under those, like the jurisdiction of what the hospital says is right. And good. Right. So I, but I do love the fact that you're on the hunt for something that actually makes sense for you. I will say from our clinical experience, we have done the Airbnb birth for somebody who lived in Mexico and couldn't could not sort out her own. Provider that she felt like was going to give her the type of experience or at least. Provide the scaffolding for the type of experience she wanted. So that is, I mean, it sounds crazy, but she was like, this is that important to me. And this is what I'm going to do. Yeah. And I mean, unfortunately, Nebraska guy and gal, we can't tell you what to do. Even though I love telling people what to do. Oh, it's so hard because there's so many factors that go into this truly. You're the only one who's going to be able to look at all the options and make a decision. I couldn't tell you what I would do. I would go to that Airbnb in a heartbeat and figure out how to do that. I would go to a state where I can get good care that I feel comfortable with. And knowing that that's a huge sacrifice. On my family on our finances, potentially on just the strain of having some unsettling happening around the birth time. But I believe so much in a model of care that is going to produce the, all of the pieces for an event like that. I don't think there's an extreme, that is not worth it, honestly. Yeah, for sure. I'll make a side note also about like the idea of that like black market. Thing. And I'm not sure exactly what the Nebraskan laws are and whatnot. There are many midwives in states in which licensure is not a thing. Who are many midwives who are great, well trained, very safe midwives who are not licensed. And so I don't know what the, what sort of what's exactly happening in Nebraska and all of that, but I will also say right, depending on. Options there speaking with other women, whether you have to find that community online somehow on like a Facebook group or something. To speak with people about their experiences also can be enlightening as you sort out what your options are. Yeah. I would not take black market midwives off the table. Yeah. I get like the framing of that sounds like no, clearly not right, but it just, it there's so many pieces that really depend there, but I wouldn't say. That's the worst option either. Depending on so many other pieces. Right. And so that comes back to like, yeah, we can't tell you what to do, but I love that you are going to go in a route that is alternative. Whatever that ends up looking like for you, because you know, that's what you want. Absolutely. Yeah, it's great. Yeah. There's so many ways to fold in. Support and options, even when it feels like options are limited. Yes. Agreed. Guy and gal. Nebraska guy and gal. I think she's been around for awhile. If she's using her old GYN gal. I love it. So sweet. Okay. Next question for your postpartum clients, how common is relaxing? The culprit of pain and discomfort for four months postpartum, I felt like my risks were spraying and I constantly had ice. Had to Iceland to relieve pain. The worst thing is that I had difficulty picking up my newborn and how to figure out a new technique for every single action that put any strain on wrists at all. I never would have thought that my most miserable part of postpartum would be my wrist, but someone finally suggested to me that made me relax and was still going strong because I exclusively breastfeed. Ever run into a similar scenario. Ah, that sucks. It really does suck. But interestingly, so I will say relaxing is the hormone, right? That kind of calms everything's or softens things helps. The everything open moves, the pelvis, baby can move through all. So it's like a good and worthy thing. It is still in your body postpartum as everything is now moving back into place. Right. And so that's helping. Both ways. It usually when we are thinking about it causing discomfort, it's often with like bones ligaments that usually in the pelvis, right. Where people are like, oh, like that my hips are hurting is generally speaking what we hear. And so a little bit of extra like counter pressure back into them with, you know, like a belt or something can feel really good. And supportive because of that, but I will say the wrist issue we often see in pregnancy unrelated, or maybe not totally, completely all about relaxing, just in terms of some like carpal tunnel stuff coming up, which we have seen acupuncture work wonders with. So that's something that you're dealing with. Throwing that out there. Yeah. Potentially look at the symptoms of carpal tunnel syndrome. So you can see if that's a little bit more accurate. Also the experience that she's having is not normal, correct? Not normal. Yeah. So I would definitely get some extra attention on that because it could be some other inflammatory condition. It could be off riotous, kind of getting triggered from birth and postpartum. It could be something else going on there. I mean, if your wrists are hurting so bad that you're having trouble picking your baby up, I mean, that sounds terrible. I think somebody should take a look at her in person. Yeah, absolutely. A lot of women really do have a relief though with like some kind of supportive. You know, risk guard, wrist guard, or something, providing some again, similar idea with the hips, right? Some counter pressure back onto it as you assess what your next sort of step, maybe. Gosh, I hope that's a little bit helpful. Yeah. I'm sorry. Okay, next question. Pregnancy eczema. I've gone eczema with my last two pregnancies and always have one or two spots that stay postpartum. I have a history of eczema, but didn't deal with, for most of my adult life until my second pregnancy. What do you know about underlying causes? And do you have any advice on how to heal and avoid it? Boy, do I ever. Eczema is not fun. No, it's not. And we're dealing with it in our home right now. One of my kids is just. In a season of transition, I think hormonally, which is getting some things stirred up. And she has all the tools that have helped her in the past, but she's feeling very stubborn about utilizing those tools. Right now. And so I'm in a parenting space where I'm like, Okay. I'm going to let you just ha have the consequences of your action because I can't force you to. Get on board. With my plan for you. And I can't let that create tension in our lives, but also it's because I think that me doing that is going to allow her to choose it for herself, I guess, is what I'm really hoping. But all that to say, we have a really good idea about where eczema comes from. It is an inflammatory condition of the skin, but the root causes usually much deeper. Inflammation someplace else happening in the body. Very typically gut health inflammation almost always comes back to a gut health thing. And then that is paired with a histamine response. So. Gut health issues that get triggered by some other thing. Histamine response is really common in pregnancy because your immune system is working overtime in order to keep you from considering your baby as an invader. So it's not surprising when those kinds of things come up in pregnancy or postpartum, because there's just a lot of extra stress potential for those areas to get triggered. So my advice to you is. Continue to look up information about gut health and emphysema in relation to each other. Look up what you can do to support your histamine response and pregnancy nettle tea is a really strong contender for that. There's also some great probiotics and ways to support gut and skin health and staff. And if this is an ongoing chronic issue for you. What do you so well to get a little bit of extra help and support on board, whether that's through a natural path or consulting with us, one-on-one about it so that you can. Have somebody take an individualized intake of your history and. Be able to make. Personalized suggestions and a care plan to how to get relief from that. And I'm sorry that that's happening to you in this pregnancy. Yeah, I have literally nothing to add as you were going through, it was like, yep. Mental note, you have to check, check, check. Yeah. It is frustrating because it would be really nice if there was like a here, take this thing or put this thing on and that'll cure all the things. You may get symptom relief, but this is in terms of like, let's. Kick it from where it actually is coming from. Which is going to be a lot of work. Yep. Sorry. Yeah, it's just what it is. But as this woman has probably already recognized that the degrees of not dealing with it, it kind of snowballs into a new thing because the body is continuing to send the signals. I'm out of balance. I'm out of balance. Hello. Hurt me. Yep. Yeah, my my mom actually ended up not going to a wedding when I was in high school. Like one of her best friends. Because her eczema flared up so bad. And I remember being like, man, Like she hadn't been dealing with it for awhile. And then there was like a massive flare up and I was like, man. If I ever deal with something like, like just kicking it right when you absolutely can. And like doing the work to dig into that. So worth it. It felt so bad for her. Yeah. Anytime that we're dealing with a symptom that impacts our ability to enjoy our life is a massive flag that that is worthwhile, that is worth working on and getting into women would also find support for an issue like this inside of our membership. We have a lot of resources that kind of dive into these root cause type things. Yeah, I'll make note as you're grabbing the next question that my mom never really worked on it. She has flares, like on and off all the time. And I'm like, okay. No, not really. Yeah, she's not interested as some people in my family do too. And just put a bunch of steroid cream. All over themselves. Yep. Like okay. That's one way of dealing with it. Yep. Next question. I've gotten out of shape over the last few years due to COVID new job, lots of, lots of other life changes. And my husband and I are ready to have children, but I keep teetering back and forth because I'm slightly overweight now and feel out of shape. Will my weight affect having a natural childbirth? Love you both. Oh, let's see it as the love you, bud. There we go. I think the biggest, so anybody at any size in any weight can have you know, natural birth, a healthy pregnancy, all of those pieces, but the space that you're in and the fact that you're in like a preconception wise thinking space before getting pregnant. I think it's so worth it to pull together some of those. Metabolic pieces so that your body is functioning in a way that not only you know, that you feel good in, but that it's actually going to treat you well throughout your pregnancy as well. So the better not. Not really shaped that you can be in, but the better health, the better metabolic health that you can be in, in really any season, the better your outcomes will be. So again, there are, there's plenty of information showing that at any weight you can go and have, you know, UN. Natural childbirth, but again, you're in this, you're in this thoughtful space that it is well worth it to focus on stabilizing your blood sugar, moving your body throughout the day, building muscle mass and Eating. Well just nourishing your body. I love that. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's I'm working on a lot of content for our membership right now about metabolic health. And I'm feeling really on fire again, of like this stuff matters so much because it'll trickle to everything. And since you're in the season of figuring out, okay, I know we want kids, but I need to figure out what's going on with my body right now. There's there's never been a better time than right now to sort that stuff out. You can continue to work on it throughout pregnancy, but. It's a very worthy endeavor today to start, and it does not have to be complicated or hard, right. Go for a walk a couple of times a day. So I'm start with that. Right. Protein and fats throughout the day, keep your blood sugar stabilized, start taking out info and more inflammatory foods and swapping them in for anti-inflammatory foods. Right. And you won't really miss these things. So yes, it's worth it for sure. Thank you, Kelly. Okay, last and final question. Yeah, this is a good last question. I didn't fully plan it this way, but this is a great one to go out on. Okay. What is one detail from each of your own births that you think, or you hope you will never forget? Ooh. Well by now, if we still remember them, there's no way we're going to forget. That is true. From just one, take away from one birth, go through your three births real quick and give me. Three takeaways from first to third. Okay. Okay. My first birth was a hospital birth that went very smoothly. Thankfully. My takeaway from that though, was that having a baby without. Individualized support is not the way to do it, even if you're in a hospital and you're like, that's what I'm choosing, having a doula support with you. No matter how well-prepared do you think your partner is? That's not their main job to play doula for you. So that was a huge takeaway of like, women need support, but also men need support too. That actually like thrust me into birth work. And of itself, what's the detail from that birth that informs that opinion. Yeah, that detail was me holding my baby afterwards being like, I can't believe it, you know, yada, yada, yada, looking over at my husband who was so in love and so happy and so proud and all of the things. But also looked like he got ran over by a train. Was just like, I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know that like, was everything actually. Okay. They were pushing me aside. So I couldn't do the things that, like, I knew that we talked about you wanting me to do, I didn't know what to say. I didn't know. Like. I didn't know how to communicate well enough. And he's like, he's the kind of guy who will step in and do stuff, but that environment just sort of drowned him out. And that sucked, you know, Like not fair. Needless to say you made some different decisions. Yes. The second birth was a planned home birth. I was doing doula work and was like about to start midwifery school at that time, or actually, no, I didn't decide officially. I was going to start midwifery school, had my baby at home. It was easy. I was like, birth is so wonderful and easy and amazing. And like, this is the way, you know, whatever, but it was when my midwives left and it was us alone at home, in bed, like on cloud nine. So happy seeing my husband so happy and being like women need more. Of this, like we're missing the mark in just focusing on natural birth. What we need is like, A a whole. Like changing right. Of like pushing berth on its head and more, we mean more midwives. I want to be a midwife. I want to support other families in this kind of feeling of like, everybody else has gone. And this is what we've done. Great. Like we're safe in our home together. Look at what we've done together. So sweet. That is so sleep. I remember when they see, like, we have a sliding glass door in our room that like went out into the patio. So that's how everybody left that night. And I remember like when they closed the door, And we had this beautiful. We lived in a. A townhouse or a guest house with this beautiful view. That was, it was like middle of the night. All the. Like the lights were on whatever. And it was just like, I don't think there's anything better than this moment right here. Like in life, there's just nothing better. Sweet. There isn't quite, yeah, it's just it's. That was it. Yeah. It was like peak. You peaked. The arrest is. And then my third birth Was a really humbling, hard experience. And I think I went into it. Stupidly cause I've been to a million births where I'm like, you never know what's going to happen. It was just a lot harder than I anticipated for a bunch of different reasons. But I remember Asking to have a vaginal exam. I knew I didn't need one, but I was like, something doesn't feel right. I don't feel like I'm where I. Where I thought I was and I just, I needed. I needed some feedback on like more so, about positioning of what she was doing. Cause I was like, this is not feeling right. Got the information that like. No, we have, we have work to do on where she's positioned so that we can do some stuff. And I was, I started crying. And it wasn't because I was so sad that like I had to. I had to do the hard work of like some of these positions that I was like, crap. I know. I don't know this personally, but like I've seen so many women hate these positions that I have to get into right now. And I know they work. I'm sure it's going to be fine. I don't know how much longer I have, but like, this is just so different. I have to actually work. Hard out a thing that I thought was going to be easy. And crying. And then getting over to the other side and actually birthing the baby, being like. I, I, it really humbled me to recognize every birth is going to be so different, but it, it also helped me realize. That connection to other women of like birth can be easy. Birth can be hard. Birth can be beautiful. Birth can sock birth can like a million different things. But it's still. Matters. You know, like no matter what that actually looks at all still matters and how you're made to feel. Matters. And then we were all home together. And my whole family was in bed and I was like, All of that. Yes. That, that experience mattered. But also. This was infinitely worth it. Yeah. That's beautiful. Hmm. You were there, you saw me not being very happy about a lot. It was a roller coaster. Yeah, sorry. It was a roller coaster of birth. I don't remember feeling. Shocked. Buy it. Well, that's just what it is when you're the intendant. You're like, yeah, this is intense. And I'm like, oh my poor friend, Kelly. Yeah, she's going to do it anyways. She's going to have her baby, but like, yeah. Yeah, that was hard. It was hard. You can do hard things. That's takeaway. Yeah, it's funny to me. After the fact, it's funny how. The trajectory of your stories, right? How one birth led to this one that changed your feelings that led to this one. It's like a full circle experience. Yeah, absolutely. And honestly, each one of those was so needed in my own motherhood experience. They all prepared me for the type of experience I was about to have in new motherhood, again, with each particular child, like I needed that humility with my third. She was just. Heart little baby. So there was just lots of humility that needed to come into my heart, apparently that I was really unaware of. And actually that was, it was good for me to be humbled. Yes. Like, and also for women who are listening just to hear. How we keep it. Open-handed ideally. And birth is definitely a lesson. And the process and right. I mean, Yeah, it's complicated. That's really complicated. And you know, that like personally to ESA. Yeah. Yeah, because while I'm thinking about what are the, what's the, what are details that I will never forget? They're ridiculously horrible. Right. Yeah. My first birth was just your regular walk into the hospital. Think you're going to hand someone, the birth plan that says, I don't want all this stuff. And then they did it all to me and I was like, all right, that's fine. But the thing that I remember the most out of that birth is the nurse having a really hard time getting the IV in me. And you can't get your epidural until you get some fluids in. And the Ivy was standing in my way and my mom who had been. A nurse in the ICU for like 30 years at that point was like coaching my nurse on how to get her IMB in almost to the point where I think she was like helping her with her own hands, you know? And I just remember being like, I can't believe this is happening right now. That's pretty bad. That's rough. And my mom was like, well, maybe you can go get someone else who can help, who can do it. Maybe. Maybe, maybe that's a good idea. There's probably 30 or 40 other nurses in this hospital that could do them better than you. And there's a lot of other things that stick out about that birth to me, but that is a pivotal memory of like, of all the things. And I've been in. I've been a doula or a friend or a family member at hospital bursts where they're trying so hard to get just the hat block in and they're not planning on using it. It's there just in case. And it becomes a circus just like that. And you just have to step back and go. Is what you're doing to this woman right now worth the extremely minimal risks. She's not, there's nothing going in her ID unless there's a catastrophic emergency and everything you know about her so far is she set up to be the most low risk possible. So do, do we need to. Continue to stab her in the hand while she's trying to manage her. Oh my gosh. It's so frustrating. Right? And then with my second, I had a planned C-section for him, placenta previa. And that was just, that was just a mess in and of itself. I mean, it's a step up for sure, from an unplanned Assyrian or an emergency situation, but it took me years, like four years. I remember she was four years old before I was like, I think I'm okay with that birth. I think I'm okay. That, that happened to me. But the pivotal memory of that birth is my doctor basically on top of me on the operating table, after my baby's already been born. My husband took her into a little nursery area to wait, and they're just trying to control my bleeding. And I'm like, I'm hemorrhaging. Ridiculously and they've got the Bockarie balloon in me and it's just not working as quickly as they wanted to. And so the amount of pressure is a grown man on top of my uterus. Chime to get. And Andy, you're just in a weird, weird place in that situation. And I remember overhearing the conversation and thinking like, I'm probably. Okay. I, this is probably fine, but later looking back. Good thing. I was like on a bunch of drugs because if I knew more or I was more coherent, I might have been like, this seems out of control. Are we gonna leave here with a uterus today? And so not to be like horrific about it. And maybe I should've told my stories first. And then you said your nice ones later. But this is just the reality of what birth is. Sometimes. Sometimes there are not any pivotal, beautiful moments. And like, of course I can look back and there's plenty of good, wonderful, sweet things that I loved about both experiences. And nothing close to some of the really awful and traumatic things that I have been a part of with other women or heard their stories. And so I'm incredibly thankful, but truly. Your experience matters as you look back on. Or do you look forward into what's the environment you're putting yourself in art is your care provider, the person who's going to help you provide the experience that you're looking for. All of those pieces matters so much. To how you're going to. Remember that day and what people say and do and how they treat you. Matters. And you have some control over that over some of those pieces. Anyway. Like you said, It's important. Yeah. And even when things are really sweet and great, and even when things suck or go the way that you're like, wow, that was not what I wanted to sign up for. That was not what I planned or whatever. That there are pieces that you can take away. Like I see how your experiences have informed you both as a mom and a care provider and all of that too, in ways that like, If everything went perfectly, may look different also. And so there's like sweet things from. Even that perspective. You know, but like you mentioned, sometimes it takes time and sometimes you may be listening and be like, yeah, it's been 10 years since I had that terrible experience. And I'm still not feeling like I'm okay with that happening to me. And that is also okay. As you process. Very okay. All right, ladies, that brings us to the end of this round of questions. We are continuing to collect them inside of that form that you guys can find any time, ask us your questions. We will answer them here on the show was really fun to do an episode just on some of those today. So thank you so much for just being a part of the show and participating and. Letting us interact with. All the different pieces of your life as we, you know, hopefully have provided a little bit of. Encouragement team. yes for sure we'll catch you next week Bye.