Finding the Right Midwife: A Comprehensive Guide for Expecting Mothers
Kelly and Tiffany provide a detailed discussion about how to find the right midwife once you are pregnant . The conversation revolves around:
00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:21 Understanding the Need for a Midwife
02:31 Exploring the Midwifery Model of Care
04:09 Contrasting Midwifery and Medical Models of Care
09:03 The Importance of Quality Prenatal Supplements
13:42 Personal Experiences with Midwifery Care
17:13 Getting Clear on Your Ideal Midwife
21:27 Understanding Your Birth Preferences
21:42 Collecting Midwife Referrals
22:32 The Importance of Word of Mouth in Choosing a Midwife
24:33 Researching Midwives Online
25:38 Doing In-depth Research on Potential Midwives
28:39 Interviewing and Consulting with Midwives
29:41 The Importance of Mutual Fit in the Midwife-Client Relationship
35:57 The Role of Midwives in Normalizing Birth
38:07 Joining Our Beta Childbirth Education Class
Links to all the extra good stuff:
CLICK HERE to Join the brand new Beautiful One Beta Birth Class!!!
25% off Professional Grade Supplements at Fullscript: HERE
Join our email community + get instant access to our awesome Sleep Freebie: HERE
Browse all our favorite women’s supplement recommendations: HERE
Submit your answer-on-the-show questions: HERE
Finding the Right Midwife: A Comprehensive Guide for Expecting Mothers
Kelly and Tiffany provide a detailed discussion about how to find the right midwife once you are pregnant . The conversation revolves around:
00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:21 Understanding the Need for a Midwife
02:31 Exploring the Midwifery Model of Care
04:09 Contrasting Midwifery and Medical Models of Care
09:03 The Importance of Quality Prenatal Supplements
13:42 Personal Experiences with Midwifery Care
17:13 Getting Clear on Your Ideal Midwife
21:27 Understanding Your Birth Preferences
21:42 Collecting Midwife Referrals
22:32 The Importance of Word of Mouth in Choosing a Midwife
24:33 Researching Midwives Online
25:38 Doing In-depth Research on Potential Midwives
28:39 Interviewing and Consulting with Midwives
29:41 The Importance of Mutual Fit in the Midwife-Client Relationship
35:57 The Role of Midwives in Normalizing Birth
38:07 Joining Our Beta Childbirth Education Class
Links to all the extra good stuff:
CLICK HERE to Join the brand new Beautiful One Beta Birth Class!!!
25% off Professional Grade Supplements at Fullscript: HERE
Join our email community + get instant access to our awesome Sleep Freebie: HERE
Browse all our favorite women’s supplement recommendations: HERE
Submit your answer-on-the-show questions: HERE
Welcome to At Home with Kelly and Tiffany, where naturally minded women gather together as we pursue simplicity and confidence in health alternatives, so we can show up better in our busy lives and feel more at home in our bodies. Join your favorite home birth midwife duo for conversation, candor, and community.
Welcome back to at home with Kelly and Tiffany I'm, Tiffany I'm Kelly. And today we're talking about how to find a midwife. Where are you? You who midwife come out, come out. You does only Kelly. Julie do sometimes. So the reason that we're sharing this today is because we are constantly asked. Okay. I love everything that you're talking about. Birth. I love this philosophy. I never really thought that this could be something for me, but how do I find somebody in my area who can provide this type of experience yet? We often it's like, it's not abnormal for us to get DMS in our Instagrams to see if we would be willing to travel, to support people. And I'm like, I love that idea, but let's start at the beginning and talk about what's going on in your community and helping you find you know, resources where you are already. Yep. So that's what today's episode is about for anyone who's thinking. I want to explore midwifery care in my area, but how do I even find someone? Or if you live in a really diverse community, like we do here in San Diego where there's 40 plus midwives, that can be overwhelming. On the other end of the spectrum where you're like, oh my gosh, what do I even look for? How do I know if the one in 40 is my lady? Yeah, for sure. So hopefully we'll help you get. Just a little more clarity on the entire subject and maybe you've never really even considered midwifery care before, and this is sort of all new to you. And especially if you are not pregnant yet and you are listening to this good job. Yeah. I think any amount of information that you can gather ahead of time is a beautiful thing. Whether or not you utilize midwifery care or not. It is good to just know what your options are, because sometimes we make choices based off of what is just expected of us. And that's, you know, it doesn't always feel like a choice that way. It just feels like you're doing the thing that everybody does. And so when you were making choices in your pregnancy or for your birth, You are truly participating in a specific model of care. And so I want to break down the two different model of care options that you have in pregnancy. We call one the midwifery model of care. You will probably guess that that is the model of care that midwives offer. Or should offer. Then we have the medical model of care and that is the setting and the environment and the philosophy in which most women will encounter obstetrics or medical doctors, or a lot of CNM certified nurse midwives. Or basically any type of. Establishment or facility birth facility is going to be following somewhat more of the medical model of care. Yeah. The midwifery model is just it's. At its heart is more autonomous and more individualized. And the medical model is more of like a here's the here's the protocol that you will fit into the sort of You know, rev. Not revolving door, but whatever, the little platform that moves you along. Oh the conveyor belt. Yes. There you go. You're just on it and you're in it versus what the midwifery model of care should be, which is a bit more. A lot more individualized. Yeah. And there's no right or wrong way to go about prenatal care. But again, it goes back to knowing what your options are. And we are just constantly hearing from women. I didn't even know. Midwife was an option or I didn't realize it was a legitimate option. Yeah, or I didn't really realize how different this actually was. I thought it was just. Having a baby somewhere else versus this entire philosophy. That's just different. Okay. So let's break it down. Midwifery model versus medical model, the midwifery model says birth is a normal life event in a family. The medical model says that it's potentially a pathological process to be managed. Big difference and they are not shy about saying that that's what they believe that pregnancy and birth are right. We're not we're not like uncovering dirty laundry. Here we are. We're just going philosophy to philosophy. The midwifery model says birth is the work of the woman and her family. The medical model says that birth is the work of medical experts. Yeah. And that just what is your understanding of what actually like pregnancy and birth is? That's going to be the crux of almost everything that you receive in your pregnancy and. Kara during birth? No, who's in charge. Who's the expert, right? Yeah. Who are you handing your power over to? Basically, if you're not, if you're not using it. The midwifery model says that pregnancy and birth is mother led and family centered in all of the care that's received. And the medical model says that it works best as a bureaucratic system of care with many universal policies. That's kind of their approach to, to the style of care that they provide. The midwifery model of care says birth is seen as a holistic and multifaceted process. And the medical model says that birth. You know, they prefer to have an emphasis on the medical aspects of birth versus it being a holistic. Experience. Midwifery model says we use technology if it's appropriate. And if it's proven the medical model values technology across the board, regardless of the evidence. The midwifery model values shared decision-making with the midwife and the family were partners and the medical model has an authoritarian. Decision-making. For the most part. And then lastly, the midwifery model is personalized and you have longer and in-depth visits and the medical model is built around brief and impersonal visits. And it's obviously we love the midwifery model. We are midwives. One of the many reasons that we chose to be midwives is because of that, but we both have experienced the different types of care. Philosophies as well, both personally and professionally just witnessing that play out. And it always comes down to that philosophical difference where you just see how it seeps into every little crevice that it possibly can. Yep. And so these care models are not created equal. They're not meant to be equal. They have things in common in that. We take care of people in this specific season of life, but the way that we go about it is fundamentally different. Yeah. And so you have, you have options. And especially as you're looking in terms of like how to find a midwife, even within that midwifery model of care, midwives practice differently and all of that. So you're just picking up these pieces of like putting it together, what your philosophy of birth is as well. So as you discover all of these little nuanced differences and sometimes really stark, obvious differences that you can then be like, does that match up with my own philosophy of birth? Because your philosophy, right. Listener may be different than mine and that's acceptable. Right. But. You want to make decisions that are based on your philosophy as well? Yep. And we're going to talk about exactly how to do that and the strategies in which to decide how that can happen for you. And I guess there's like a little disclaimer here since we're comparing. And contrasting your, you know, different medical models. It's not really about the provider necessarily, even though certain providers tend to camp out in one particular model, even though we called one medical, even though we call one midwife or midwifery model it doesn't mean that there are not some doctors who actually have philosophy of the medical model. It also doesn't mean that there are not some midwives, even home birth midwives. That. Do not practice the midwifery model. They actually lean more into the medical model. And so it's an important thing to differentiate where those models are and where your, where your, you know, potential provider. Tends to, you know, have their philosophies landing. Yeah. That's like our hurt behind sharing this information just in general is because a lot of people will come back to us and say, oh, I didn't even, I didn't even know. I didn't even know. About how to research or find somebody or, you know, questions to ask and things like that. So, Here we are. Okay. So before we jump into exactly how to find this midwife, I'm going to share something really cool. If you guys, it is our full script account, full script is an online professional dispensary that has a collection of all of the very best brands with all of the highest rated products for medical professionals to dispense to their clients. However, we are allowed to pass that opportunity on to you guys. Our listeners are. Followers our own clients can have access to this for absolutely free. And so not only do you have access to professional grade supplements, but we're also passing on the discount that Fullscript gives us and you can get 25% off of those. 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Universal issue for sure. But one of the cool things about Fullscript is that it allows us to build out these protocols and plans that are available to everybody who signs up on dress. And you have access to like 28 or 29 different protocols in there. Right now we're adding to it all the time because we see the opportunity to do it. And so we have a lot of things in there from postpartum supplement recommendations to stress protocols, to managing blood sugar, to. PMs and all kinds of things. Yeah. Where we have the actual supplements that we recommend to our own clients and some instructions around that and stuff. So today I want to read to you guys, the prenatal supplements to consider if you are pregnant So that you have an idea of like, what is inside there? What kind of information can you get in fight inside a full script? And that includes. Vitamin D and K2. Raw calcium. Prenatal a couple of different prenatal options that are like all whole food based. And incorrect ratios and including the micronutrients that we know that pregnant women need. There's also Cod liver oil. There's another EPA DHA option for you. There is a probiotic. There is. A couple of different probiotics, actually, depending on exactly what you're dealing with vaginal health wise or gut health wise, you have some options. We have magnesium in there. We have trace mineral drops. We have grassfed beef liver. A couple of options for that. A B complex. And that's it. That is our list of things that we think that most pregnant women should take. And we have all of the dosing and instructions and. Lots of different options there to meet everybody's budget and you know, vegan capsules versus not. Figuring out your own little happy combo. Yeah. And we've, we've gotten feedback from people who have hopped onto Fullscript and been like I've learned so much even just from reading the information that you've shared on the protocols themselves. So we're happy to just give that to y'all. Okay. And so you can get connected to that in our show notes, click on the Fullscript link. It will take you to. A signup page that takes, I don't know, like three minutes to put your name and your email address in, and then you have open access to all that information and it's completely free. Yeah, and the shipping is quick too. So that's good bonuses and bonuses. All right. Let's talk about how to find a midwife and Kelly. I've never, I did a little bit of searching for a midwife in my last pregnancy before I realized that that was not the route we were going to go. So I did a little bit of midwifery. I don't know, shopping. But you have actually done that twice. You have, you have looked for a midwife, you have hired a midwife and worked with a midwife through to entire pregnancy. Is. And so what was that like and how would you compare those two experiences? Because they were very, they were different midwives, they were different practices. They were different experiences. You were in different places of your education and motherhood and all that. Yeah, for sure. So I guess I have a different spin on it because I was already in birth work when I was looking for a midwife with my second, and I attended a home birth with this particular practice and And they had been connected for maybe three or four of the births that I was there as a doula for. And it was just, their relationship was so sweet and it was just beautiful to watch that play out. And I was like and we've connected in some other spaces on some personal things that were happening. And so I was like, this feels right. And so I didn't really feel like I had to do a ton of research because it just sort of. I was like handed to me in that particular way. But then fast forward a few years and finishing up midwifery school, getting pregnant and still, you know, waiting to take my licensure test. All of that stuff. What I really wanted out of a midwife was just simply different because I w. I was a different. Woman at that point. And I had seen the way so many more midwives practiced and I realized that I wanted something. I don't want to say better. It was just, I just wanted something different and I wanted something. I'm that. Spoke to my desire for what I wanted as a. The type of care I wanted to give as a midwife myself. I wanted to be on the receiving end of that. And so. I actually. You know, I chatted with a few, but I kind of had my sights set on one. And that ended up working out. That's really cool. So would you say that for you? And then, I mean, I would say that this is probably universal as we talked to other women, as you gained more information and understanding about what midwives do and what that care looks like and the differences. Would you say that you felt like the second time you you happy with, with changing plans for the second time? I was very happy with it. I think that I. I think that nuanced piece of not fully understanding completely the depth of what I really wanted out of my experience. I was just in a, I was in a different place than I understood that a bit better. I knew I wanted a home birth with my second and I don't think I really. New, what type of care I wanted. And so it was sort of like, I want to give birth at home. And feel supported doing that. Great. You can provide that for me. The next go round. It was like, I wanted something that just felt philosophically deeper than that. So you kind of approached that first midwifery experience with one box needed to be checked. Yeah. Do you provide home birth care? Yep. And you do, and you're nice to me, so that's great. Perfect. Sorry, two boxes. Yeah. Okay. So step number one in finding a midwife is getting clear on your ideal midwife. And I think that that surprises a lot of women that there's a little bit of personal work to do before you go about researching and interviewing midwives for your birth, because it's possible to jump into the hiring process with so much eagerness and excitement that you accidentally miss some really important steps that can almost leave you with the buyer's remorse. And we're not saying that necessarily just from your experience. Oh, I wanna try something different. But we hear from women all the time that are like, that was not exactly what I expected it to be. Yeah, for sure. I mean anything from how consistently they're giving you vaginal exams in labor, if that's something that like, they feel like they have to do, or do you have to have an ultrasound or yeah, there's just like a million little nuanced pieces that I didn't realize mattered. So much until then afterwards, where I was like, Did I need that I didn't need that vaginal exam. That was terrible. And I was about to push my baby out and I knew that. Right. And so there are pieces, right. That I felt like, oh yeah, yeah. That could actually be different. And that could actually be better for me. Yeah. Yeah. So I think there's like there's pieces of personality. There's a care style. Every single practice is going to have a different care style. And so if you can not tell that as you're doing your initial research or interviewing, if you don't see the differentiation differentiation of peoples of midwives care styles. That's something you need to kind of dive into a little bit further because we do truly all offer something different. But in general, like there's some, there's some different service offerings. Like we're one of the only midwives in our area that do this extended postpartum care. And so that might be really important to understand or know right. And some people don't care about that at all. And I'm like, great. And that's perfectly fine. That's your, but you're aware at least that it is an option. Yes. And someone's professional background. Like I see a lot of first-time moms feeling really comfortable with somebody who's worked in a medical setting before. For whatever reason. And I totally understand that because we've been programmed our entire lives to think that that's the safest place to be, or that we have the most experts available. But as you're looking at the philosophy of it, you're potentially walking into a more medical model type care situation. Thinking that you have this more medical expertise and more, you know, that somehow that's going to keep you safer. Yeah. I mean, we've, we've been asked a few times, like when I'm doing consults about that we're licensed midwives, not nurse midwives, haven't been in the hospital, that kind of thing. And we're like, well, that's, that's. That's not what I wanted. Yeah. That's not what we wanted to do. We are experts in home birth. So that's kind of what you want when you're having a home birth. In my opinion, but that's not everybody's opinion. Right? And so I just, I think it's really helpful to when we send out there's, you know, sometimes we're, our calendar is full and we're sending out referrals for other people, the type of referral that we're giving. Kind of spans all of these different ideas. I'm like, oh, all their care styles are different. Their personalities are different. Some people really feel like age is important too. Like I want a mother, we are grandmother and we vibe, I want a sisterly vibe and that really. Changes things too. And so understanding, and that may take actually going to interview some of these people and meeting them and being like, oh, I realized I don't want that thing. Because I got to chat that out and realized that it wasn't right for me, or you don't want it in the particular way that that person seems to offer it. Right. And I think it's also really important to pay attention to the little details in that preliminary phase. How easy is it to get a response back from this potential midwife? How much information do they have on their website? How does it feel to walk into their office during that interview? What's their communication style like? Did they joke a little bit too much and that just kind of throws you off and does it make you think that they're taking their work seriously, then our practice would not be the right one for you. I was like, where's she going with this? But I can see how that would be like unsettling for some people have, like, why aren't we taking this more? Seriously? Yes. A hundred percent. And all the things in between. Yeah, absolutely. So understanding really what you want and what you're looking for and what is like ideal for you. May be a little bit of a journey as you're like doing some introspection and research. Yep. So then the next step is collecting midwife referrals. I'm trying to find, where are these? Where are these caregivers at? Right. And depending on your area, there may only be one or two to consider. And you're like, I've no idea what you're talking about and trying to find the nuances. Like we have medium and we have other medium and neither of them are ideal or sound amazing. But. We're just going to try to decide in between which one, you know, which, which way is our heart. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So obviously that's like, that can be an issue. We obviously need more midwives in the world practicing out there, but most likely in your area, you know, somebody or can be connected with somebody who has used a midwife. And that is the number one. Kind of gold standard for referral is word of mouth. Somebody who has birthed. At home, somebody who, I mean, we'll recommend even asking like local doulas or prenatal chiropractors or whatever about their recommendations and their referrals. Hey, have you done a birth with this person who has. You know, impacted your experience as a doula at home birth, or, I mean, even posting on like Facebook groups or something, right? Like, Hey, local moms who has had a home birth and who do you. Who should I reach out to? I mean, the community is tight in almost every single area. And so all you need is one person to say, oh my neighbor. She's such a weirdo here and you connect to that lady and then you are connected to the whole tribe, right? Once you get connected. To the community. And the reason that word of mouth is so important is because then you can ask these women, what was your experience like with them? You know, like is it, is it, are they making the recommendation because they use them themselves? Are they making the recommendation because they are another holistic provider and they refer to them. Are they making that suggestion because you know, who knows? Right. And then you want to find out what their experience was like. Were they happy with their care? Did they get the experience that they were hoping for? Because again, it can be common to go through. An entire, you know, midwifery experience and come out the other end and be like, oh, I mean, like Kelly said, I I'm going to make a different decision next time in hearing the reason why can be really helpful. The reason Kelly chose a different midwife might be, might be the exact reason that you would choose the first midwife she had. Right. Like, oh, okay. I understand why you made that decision. Actually, those reasons your objections are my opportunity. I don't want to call this midwives. Yeah, absolutely. So, I mean, it's, again, it's all so personalized and individual. In terms of what you want and need. And so that's why being able to talk about those things with other people who have experienced it. Can be so hurtful. Yep. And so if you don't get enough referrals with P through people that, you know, then go online and get to work, just searching and researching in your area. There's a lot of states that have like a governing board that has a registry of midwives that you can look up. So if you just Google registry of midwives in whatever state you're in, you can see a lot of options that way. And then there's other networks for certified nurse midwives, certified professional midwives, and that can all kind of, you know, bring you to some options also. Just, I mean, we all know how to use Google by now. Right? But like searching for midwife near me or home birth midwife in whatever your city is is, are all the search engine, you know, words that you can use in order to hopefully get. Get that information up in front of you. Yeah, exactly. Like don't sleep on what is going on on the internet, right? Like people who have a presence online, it's not that doesn't need to necessarily be like, oh, that means they're a great midwife because their website is great, but most likely the options around you are gonna pop up and then you can start doing research from there. Yep. So number three is doing research on midwives and. It's not enough to just look and get a feel. Quite honestly, there are some questions that you want to ask yourself to make sure is this person going to be a good fit, especially if you have a lot of narrowing down to do. You want to know, like, where is their office located? Are they offering anything above what seems standard or below what seems standard? What are their fees? That is something you should know before you go to an interview. And it really irritates me that other midwives are not transparent about how much it costs to hire them and what that includes. It, it drives me absolutely insane. And I've asked a couple of midwives about that in particular. Mostly than saying, like, they don't want people to make a decision based on money. Right. You want to like, come in and get the field and be like, okay, I can, man. I can figure it. I can figure the finances out. I don't want to. Close the door before even meeting this midwife. And I'm like, I don't think that's the way people are doing their research. I think we, I think we want transparency. I want it. I don't want to go talk to somebody who I've no idea how much money they're going to charge me to do something for me. Absolutely not. And like, I don't want to feel like I'm being manipulated into like making a decision because having happy feelings in one interaction where everyone's on their best behavior. A hundred percent. No. Thanks. So yeah, I would recommend you finding out how much those services cost and what's included because truly, I mean, you can either afford someone or you can't exactly. You can ask them to like, do you work with insurance? Are there like flexible financial terms related with whatever their fee is that kind of thing? Just to get a baseline of Can one, can I afford this? And two, like, are there some surrounding adjacent options to actually affording that? Yep. And you want to pay attention to like the language that they use in their interactions and on their site. And are there any red flags for you? Is there anything that they say that you're kind of like, Ooh, I'm not sure about that. Don't ignore what those initial feelings are. Don't let them guide your entire decision. But some of my favorite consults where people who came in and they said something like. So you guys like really emphasize this hands-off thing, but actually really wants hands on. And so like, Is this going to be a potential good fit for me? Like, I have questions about this and we were able to talk about what that looks like in the accommodations that we could make and where we felt comfortable and how we would be. Talking through and supporting that particular person, but they could have looked at the information that we're saying, like we're pretty hands-off and just been like that's those are, that's not the team for me. Yeah, for sure. So yeah, just understanding that, like you can ask these questions, you can research these things. What, I mean, even what date are they meeting for clinic, right. Is that gonna work with your With your own schedule, things like that. Just getting kind of that foundational piece of, is this going to work for me? Yep, absolutely. Next step is interviewing and consulting with midwives. And it kind of cracks me up that this is a standard in midwifery care, that there is an interview in a consultation. Process built into the, to the transaction and that there's not that there is not that concept with other care providers for the most part. Yeah. We've gotten feedback on Instagram in particular. What, asking that question like, Hey, were you able to even secure an interview or like consultation with an OB? 90 something percent of people said no. And some of those people, like they actually really did try in the offices were like, I don't compute. What are you talking about? That's insane. Yeah, or they'll say, well, do you just need to set up your first appointment? So come in and ask your questions then, and then they come in and that first appointment is not set up to accommodate asking questions and interviewing. Yeah, not at all. It's going quick and it's it's not as personal. Yeah, for sure. Okay. But here's something that might surprise. You ladies who are listening to this. Hopefully, this is the case. And anyone that you're interviewing with the interview goes both ways. So you are interviewing your midwife. You should also feel like your midwife is interviewing you. Not because you need to pass a test in order to like, you know, have a home birth or something like that. And obviously you are the one paying her money. She's going to work for you. And so there is some power dynamic in that, but you need to be a good mutual fit for each other. So if you are, if your proposed midwife is not asking you questions, that would be a red flag to me. Like, do you care about us being a good fit for one another? Or are you just trying to get me in your practice to build your business? Yeah. I mean, I think it's, I think it's a huge aspect of how we have practiced so safely. Is. Is building that from the beginning. Of establishing trust and mutual connection and fit for sure. Absolutely. So like she should ask you. Why do you want to have home birth and like, what's your vision for this birth? And what do you see, like the role of your midwives being and how will we distribute responsibility in this relationship? Or, you know what are some of your plans for coping with labor without medications like that should all be a part of an initial conversation. To decide if you guys are a good match for each other. Yeah. So it, it really does go both ways. And I think understanding that when you go in, I think empowers women to be like this isn't just my, I'm not just making this choice in a vacuum. Right. And that's how it should be with this type of individualized care. It should feel like you're in this together with your midwife. Absolutely. And this is a, this is an appointment that your partner should be with you at also because you absolutely need them to feel comfortable. With, with helping you discern some of those pieces too. Yeah, absolutely. There is a ton of questions that you can ask a midwife in an interview type setting, and we have a resource for that coming up. So don't think that we've neglected that particular piece. Because in that actual interview, there's a lot of things that, that you should be asking or that you should at least be thinking about gathering information about. Yeah. And then you ask all of these questions. You've maybe gone on a few of these types of interviews. You're looking, maybe you are somebody who like has a spreadsheet or maybe you're just somebody who's like letting these ideas float around in your head. Or maybe you just went in and you were like, oh, the. The clouds parted and everything was perfect. And I knew like this was my midwife. But then you move forward and you hire somebody. Yep. And we, we personally, I don't know if the, I don't know how this is helpful, but I just want to share because of the interviewing process going both ways, we do not let people hire us on the spot. No. So some people have tried to do that show even shoving money at us. Like here's my deposit. Okay. We're good to go. And we all, we, Tiffany and I always have to debrief and discuss just to make sure that we're on the same page when we bring clients in. And it is absolutely okay to be like a hundred percent certain that like, oh, All my boxes are getting checked. I absolutely want to work with this person, but you do. You need to go home. You need to think about it. You need to go through the process of really important decision, you know, making and. Email them the next day. Yeah. We always say even when people are like, we would like to move forward, we always say, why don't you guys go home, take a moment, talk about it, pray about it, whatever you need to do. And then just shoot us an email and we can go from there. There have been times where people have shot us an email and we have been like, oh, we got. We really have to talk about this dynamic or whatever it was that was potentially concerning on our end. Yeah. And sometimes we have to say you were lovely. This was great. You're going to find a wonderful midwife, but it's not us. We're not the best fit for you. And that's just the way it is. Yeah, which I don't know if every midwifery practice is comfortable in doing that, but we have really sorted out our boundaries when it comes to clients that we take on. Yeah. We always want to, we always want the best fit for the client. Yes. Even if, even if that means it's not with us, sometimes we interview people and we're like, we love them. Oh my gosh. I hope that they hire us and they don't. And we're like man, but also so good. I'm so glad that you actually found somebody that really works for you too. Yeah. And honestly, just since we're being transparent about this whole process, There's been plenty of people. Ah, I don't want to say plenty. That's that sounds like a lot. There's been at least one handful of people who. We were not a hundred percent on board with, for whatever reason, but it didn't seem significant enough at the time to not work with a family. And then somewhere along the process, we are reminded of that. Usually multiple times of like, ah, yeah, I knew that this was not the. I knew this for whatever reason, not initial feeling and intuition. I knew that we were not the perfect fit and now we're kind of living in some of the consequences of that. And so I just want to emphasize that, like, that's, that's really important to have the satisfaction at the end of all of this for everyone to feel really good about it. Yeah, it matters. It absolutely does. Okay. So we have like, oh my gosh, how many questions are we going to offer in this next podcast? We're going to do a little mini recording of just the questions that you should ask in an interview. 23 of them. Holy cow. Good for us. That's a lot of questions. That is a lot of questions. Okay. So we have that coming up. Exact questions to ask in an interview. How did you get 23? Oh, cause I, I wrote down. That's good. That's a good amount of questions. How do we come up with 23 questions? You can't ask 23 questions in an interview. Nope. No, there's not enough time for that, but apparently we have written 23 questions. To choose from. Pick and choose and a little bingo little spin the wheel. That'd be great. Surely will be. Okay. And then you guys know midwives are such an important part of normalizing birth. And I say again, because birth used to be really normal, used to be a really normal event. And now we're swinging back to it and midwives are a huge part of that. The United States ranks number 47 in maternal outcomes for developed nations. That is, makes me want to barf. That's terrible. Number 47. So all the first world country is, and how. Well, they do with their birth outcomes for mother and baby we're number 47. However, we spend more per capita than any other country. In fact, we spend almost twice as much as most other first world countries do on maternity care. So there's clearly a huge problem here. However, the countries that rank higher, they all have midwifery as an integral part of their maternity care. Hmm. So many light bulbs are going off on my end, but apparently. Not be. The U S maternity care systems now. And so 2% of women in the United States give birth at home when the worldwide average is actually closer to 70%. Crazy. And we need the midwifery philosophy in birth more than ever. And you know, that it is extremely uncommon for physicians to witness a physiological birth before they even begin practicing. Or sometimes they go years into practice before they actually see. An undisturbed birth happen. And so we just have some things really mixed up or really wonky. We have the wrong people going to the wrong settings in the wrong care models with the wrong care providers. Yeah, they're super trained. Right. And like complications, diseases, surgery, things like that. That's so great for women who are high risk or who need it. But not for the vast majority, right? The 90, whatever percent of us who are actually low risk in our pregnancies. So walking into that philosophy already sets you up for. You know where we're at with our maternity care system. Absolutely. But we can take the midwifery model and not philosophy into any single pregnancy and birth. And so we want to teach you guys how to prevent complications, how to trust the process of birth, how to embrace alternatives and advocate for the type of pregnancy and birth that you desire. And that is all happening inside of our beta childbirth education class. And this is your chance to jump in with us live. As we create this class for the very first time. It's our little test group. So it gets every single resource and educational element that our homebirth clients do. From us, but so much more, the price is only$149. And the doors close on March 17th, because we're going to start. Next week on the 18th already. So if you have a due date of July or beyond, and you want an incredibly comprehensive birth prep course at a minuscule fraction of the cost, and we would love to see you there with us. This is probably your last chance hearing this to jump in and do that with us. We're super excited to get this into people's hands and to walk alongside those of you who do jump into this with us and can give us feedback on. What you want to see more of what is encouraging to you, all of that good stuff that you get to help us give you what you need as you prepare for the most empowering pregnancy and birth and postpartum. Now we're hoping to make that really collaborative and really functional and. Just be working with women who are in the exact season that we want to serve with this class. So that's exciting for us. And you can find the link in our show notes. You can also find all the information on our website. Beautiful one midwifery.com. And if you were listening to this after this, these. These deadlines. There is a wait list that is accumulating, and you can find those links on our website and in our show notes so that if you missed our beta group, but you want to jump in for. The eventual course that launches probably sometime over the summer. Then you can get on that wait list. It's a place where you can get updates on when the course is going to be available, but we also have some special goodies and extra resources and information and stuff for people on the wait list too. So it's a worthwhile place to just shove your little. Email address on to. Shove it in there to shove it. Yep. Okay, ladies, this was great chatting about this. Love it, me. You too. Okay. We'll catch you next week with all of those interview questions and see you soon. Bye.