My Alma the Younger Experience | Overcoming Addiction & Finding Our Way Back to the Temple (LDS)

Can God bring you back after you've left the covenant path? In this deeply personal Thinning of the Veil episode, host Tia Smith shares — for the first time publicly — the "Alma the Younger" experience that turned her family's life around and became the reason this podcast exists. After a workplace accident left her husband Deren with severe injuries and a years-long dependence on prescription pain medication, the couple drifted from the temple and nearly lost their marriage. Tia describes praying to know what to do, receiving a clear answer not to give up, and then witnessing a series of tender miracles — a stranger who appeared and vanished at the scene of a fatal accident, an overwhelming wave of love as a woman named Luanna passed, and an unmistakable invitation, felt as if in an embrace: "You need to get back to the temple." What followed was repentance, recovery, and a return to temple and family history work that became the heart of this show. This is an honest, hopeful Latter-day Saint (LDS) testimony that the thinning of the veil doesn't come because we're perfect — it comes because we're loved and our feet are moving in the right direction. If you or someone you love is walking through addiction, or has stepped away from the covenant path, this story is for you.

Q: Can you come back to the temple and the covenant path after leaving, as a Latter-day Saint?
A: Yes — in this episode Tia Smith shares her family's return after years away, testifying that repentance is a sweet process and that God will "move heaven and earth" to bring His children home. She teaches that the thinning of the veil comes not because we are perfect, but because we are loved and are moving in the right direction.

Q: How can temple and family history work help someone recovering from addiction?
A: Tia describes how, after her husband chose to stop taking pain medication, temple and family history work filled the vacuum the addiction had left — and as he did more of that work, his desire for the drugs lessened. She frames this service as a way to draw on the Savior's power to heal and to stay on the covenant path.

Q: What are "thinning of the veil" experiences, and can ordinary people have them?
A: Tia recounts feeling a departed woman's arms around her and hearing an invitation to return to the temple, a voice calling her husband by name, and an overwhelming wave of love at the moment of death. She testifies these experiences are real and available to ordinary Latter-day Saints, not only prophets — echoing President Jeffrey R. Holland's counsel to believe in "angels and miracles" ("Motions of a Hidden Fire," April 2024 General Conference).

Q: Does God send messengers or angels to help bring people back to Him?
A: Tia testifies that Luanna — later discovered to be related to her husband — became an instrument in bringing their family back to the temple, describing her as an angel whose final act was one of testimony. The episode teaches that the Lord uses people on both sides of the veil to gather His children home.
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Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:09

Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Thinning of the Vale podcast. This is Tia Smith, your host, and welcome back. Thanks for hanging in there with another one with me. First of all, I need to say thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. It I have been surprised at the response given. I just kept telling myself, if it's only just one person, then all this effort is going to be worth it. Uh but the crazy thing is, is that it hasn't been just one. There's uh people tuning in from all over the country. And in fact, there was someone tuning in from South Korea. So I thought, okay, well, the Lord said global check and technology check. I'm done. So I don't have to do anymore. But um unfortunately, I don't think that that's how it works, but I've just been overwhelmed. So seriously, thank you for your love and support. Uh, it means a lot to me. Uh right now we need to do some housekeeping. Um, and all you youngsters, you YSA kids, um, be patient for a minute while I kind of explain to the older generation, us, about subscribing and liking. Uh, because there is a difference in ages, and there is a difference in your ability to understand technology. So just be patient because I promise you, as you get older, your kids and your grandkids will be further ahead than you ever imagined possible. In fact, my six-year-old grandson gets frustrated with me when we play Mario Kart, and he's like, Mimi, no, Mimi, that's not how you do it. And I'm like, boy, do you know who you're talking to? Our generation is the one that created Mario Kart and uh Galaga and Pong, that lonely game Pong. So technologically advanced, and Donkey Kong. Um, and so we are the originals. But unfortunately and fortunately, I guess, um, things have just gotten better. And definitely uh my grandkids are way more better at it than my uh kids are. So be patient. It's your turn, your turn is coming um with this technology thing. And I mean, I just my mind is blown already. I can't even imagine how much more crazier it's gonna get. So I just wanted to do um a few uh just housekeeping things. I'm gonna kind of show you really quickly um something on my website that might help everyone to understand. And maybe the younger generation needs help understanding too. I don't know, but I don't think so. So I'm gonna just share my screen with you real quick. So now um I've had a lot of people ask me, uh, how do I know when your podcast is coming out? How do I know how to subscribe? How do I know how to like it? Um, the website is pretty easy in the sense that um it will, it's the main hub that takes you to everything else. So if you see these buttons right here down here at the um underneath the picture, uh there's Apple Podcasts, there's Spotify, there's Amazon Music, um, and then YouTube is over here. So whatever platform you want to access it, you can access it through there. And when you get to the platform, you can actually subscribe to it and you'll be notified when a new podcast comes out. You can also just come to my website uh and I'm you'll just everything new will be posted there. Another way of keeping in touch with um this podcast is that up there in the right hand corner, there's an F and a camera. Those stand for Facebook and Instagram. And if you click on those, it will take you to my Instagram feed and my Facebook feed, and I will update those as well every single time that a new uh podcast comes out. So you can click those and follow me. Uh, I think the hardest part about this whole sharing thing is getting people up to date on how to um know when this is coming out because it took me a day to like text individually all my friends and family um to let them know about the podcast. And I seriously can't do that every single time. So it would be way easier on me if you would just go to either one of my uh Instagram or Facebook and just follow me. Again, it's thanine.ov dot the dot vil. And if you click one of those buttons, it will take you right to that feed and you can sign up and subscribe to that. Also, this little button on the right hand side is the YouTube button. The the cool thing with YouTube is that you can also subscribe and they will let you know every time I upload a podcast to it. And uh you can subscribe and like and comment. I appreciate those who have left comments and who have rated the podcast so far, so good. So thank you for doing all of that work. Um, and know that it makes a difference. The other thing that I wanted to say to kind of for those who don't want to do any of that is that the expectation is that these are going to come out on Tuesdays. Don't expect it Tuesday morning. Uh, it will come later on during the day. So hopefully, maybe having it on the same day every week. Uh, you can expect um there's some continuity in that, and that will help you find it. Also, the more you rate, the more you like and subscribe, the easier it is for people to find this podcast. And I know that a lot of you have been sharing this with people that you love, and I appreciate that. And I just would encourage people to keep sharing, especially over this upcoming holiday where we're around family. First of all, that's what this whole podcast is about, is family. And that while you're around family, if you ever fall into a conversation like I see dead people, which doesn't come up very often, but memories and stories of the past do come up when we are together, that you will want to share this podcast and have others be involved so that other people can also um have the same experience. Again, if you have any uh stories and want to maybe come on, and we both think that it's uh good for the podcast, email me at tiathinning of the veil.com and I will try to get back to you as much as we can and discuss it. In a couple of weeks, I'm gonna have my first guest, and she is amazing, and I'm just excited about um having her point of view uh being set out there because it's one of those. Um she's just her name is Tara. Oh, it used to be Tara Chang. Sorry, Mitchell. Tara Olson, she got married. So, anyways, that will be exciting. So look forward to that in the next couple of weeks. Another thing I wanted to show you with my screen real quick before I get started, um, is I wanted to show you this picture. And it is, this is who I'm going to be talking about today. And her name is Luanna Clare Hyde Meekham. And she was born April 27th, 1927, and August 3rd, 2009. And on the surface, it doesn't seem like the two of us would have anything in common. But the story that I share next uh shows that God is in the details and he puts people in your life at different times for different reasons, and that miracles can happen in this scenario. And it and if it wasn't for her, honestly, if it wasn't for her, this podcast would not be a thing. And I'll tell you about that in just a second. So that's hopefully if you have any questions, text me if you're older. I'll I'll try to help you as much as I can because honestly, uh some of this stuff I don't understand. So um just be patient with it, and we're gonna go right into this back now. This um this podcast is one that I I've just kind of been um hesitant to share, obviously, in the beginning. I said I'm a very private person and I have not shared this experience with very many people, with the exception of people, um, the YSA kids in my institute class and some close friends and family. Um, I remember going on a walk this last Saturday with Darren and discussing, because I just launched it, and I was kind of sick to my stomach, and we just kind of went, we just kind of went on a walk to kind of walk it off. I had this overwhelming um feeling of like, what have I just done? I just I was anxious and overwhelmed, and Darren was saying, hey, you know, stay in it, have faith in the Lord, everything's gonna be okay. And I just remember just panicking, like I I've just started something that uh is pretty overwhelming and uh just struggling with it. And I remember just walking, and if if you know me, you know that peace is not a thing that comes natural to me. It is not one of those gifts that I have. It's a gift that I'm striving for and asking for, but it's not something that is normal or natural in any sort of in any sense of the word. And I was as I was walking and I just was questioning what have I just done, this overwhelming feeling of just peace and love came to me and an idea that this path that I'm heading down is the right path, and that um it's meant to be. So today I come and I share that story with that background, with that um little uh love letter from heaven to give me encouragement for today. Um today I want to be real with you, and um, Darren and I have discussed this, and we feel like it's important to talk about uh the context in how we got involved. Um, it's also important to be real uh because I feel like that gives everyone the idea of how God, no matter where you're at and your testimony, no matter how you feel about God, he's always involved and he is always and continually and ever will be trying to keep us and bring us back home. And so it's important for us to share this journey with you and to be honest about it and to not sugarcoat it because I don't think we're doing anyone a favor by doing that, but it's also very personal. So I would hope that you would take that into consideration as you listen to this podcast, knowing that it's a very difficult thing for us to um to be talking about it. But you you wouldn't be able to know what the miracle is if you didn't know the context that came before that. Um, and so we're gonna be talking about some pretty tough and some pretty heavy things today. Um, but stay tuned to the end because there is a happy ending. Um this all began for us in 1992. We Darren and I met at Rick's College. We were in the same ward together, and I had my eye on him because this is gonna sound really weird. Uh, he was passing the sacrament and he had a black eye. And I thought, oh, that's interesting. I gotta get to know what that's all about. Um, and he also had a cool car. It was a Fierro, and it was amazing. Uh, and I just thought, well, okay, first of all, any guy at Rick's College who had a car was like pretty fly at the time. And to have a Fierro, a sports car on top of that, I like to go fast. And so it was just kind of matchmade. Um, I was naturally uh interested in that. Uh we met uh and were married six months later, and it was quick and it was fast, and it was awesome. And maybe I'll tell the rest of that story uh later. But we met and married in six months. And then soon after that, and I mean really soon, like two days soon, after we got preg after we got married, we ended up getting pregnant with our first child. And for me, that was the happiest day. I I had no other desire in my life than to be a mom. I didn't have aspirations to be a lawyer or a doctor, and you know, and some women do, and that's great. But for me, it was um being a mom. And so I was ecstatic that uh we were having our first kid. I I felt bad felt bad for Darren because for the first nine months of our marriage, all he knew me was as sick, and that every time he walked in the door, I would just get sick and have to go throw up. It's just what the pregnancy thing was, and so we were trying to adjust to being married and then also married and pregnant, and it was crazy. Um, but it it was what both of us wanted, and it we were just we were having a good time with it, and we were excited about it. Um, I even took homette classes after I found out I was pregnant because I thought I needed to know how to sew and fold napkins in the right way to be a good mom. Um, and that was a nightmare. I am not built for that. I Darren found me one time up in the lab crying because I was trying to sew a blessing dress, which was my uh final project. And I my mind does not invert things very well, and so I was just crying, and he had to come up and say, Look, all you have to do is this and this and this. And he got me through it. And I that's how dedicated I was to being a mom. And just note to everyone out there who haven't yet had a baby, you don't need to know how to sew or fold or uh origami napkins to be a good mom. It things will be okay uh if you don't know how to do those things. So um it was just that's the what that's what we were doing. We're excited, and we had our first uh baby, and he was the cutest little kid. In fact, he won uh baby contests because he was so cute. Um, and we were just excited. Our li our time at Rick's uh ended, and we headed to Ogden and we transferred to Weber in 1994, and we had uh we bought a house there, um, and we were just again just living the life crazy, tired all the time. Darren was working full-time and going to school full time, and I was running around with a toddler, and uh we were just um, you know, you think back now that I'm an empty nester and you think about those times, and they were just special times, but in the middle of it, it's hairy scary. And uh I wish I would have been more grateful, but I I feel like that's just how things happen. Um he got a job with a chemical company in Ogden and he was really excited about it, Darren did, because he was in training to be a manager in Argentina. It was a global chemical company, and they had offices all around the world. And Darren served a mission in Argentina, and he was really excited about it because uh he he wanted to go back. And I, you know, I'm always up for an adventure. I'm a gypsy at heart, and I just have moved around a lot, and I've had um my roots were never had to be in one place. So we were excited about it, and for him to qualify to do that, he had to go and have and do every job in the company so that he could have an understanding of uh how the company runs in every aspect and every facet. And he was actually on his last one or second to last position, he was in the the safety position at the time that made sure that all the safety protocols were handled and everything was handled correctly, and um things seemed to be going really, really well. Um and then in late 1994, everything changed for us. Uh, and when I mean changed, I mean uh changed in ways that completely influenced every aspect of the rest of our lives. Um a valve was left on overnight in the nitric acid uh tank. And when everyone got back um from the weekend, they noticed that this was on and they obviously went into panic because nitric acid is not a good acid and it's dangerous, especially when it comes in contact with other things. Uh and so they were panicking. And because Darren was the safety manager at the time, they called him in and they asked him to shut the valve off. Now, all for some reason, I don't and I don't know why, but all the safety training that everyone has, um, probably because they were panicked, that they had been trained on kind of went out the window and they were in such a panic that they threw a suit on Darren and boots on Darren, but they duct tape his boots on, um, and acid easily eats through duct tape. I mean, gorilla tape isn't even that good. So he being a dutiful person and wanted to prove that he could do this because he, again, the end result was going to be Argentina, he trusted what they were doing and he waded into the acid. And there's a big six-foot retaining wall at that company, obviously, to keep stuff in. And he had only got a few steps in before it started burning his legs, and he immediately jumped over. Thankfully, he was able to clear the six-foot retaining wall. Uh, because had he not, he would have died. And so I think that's miracle number one. He has told me before that he had a distinct impression not to go in, and he dismissed it, thinking that no, it's probably just him being worried and that he really wanted to do a good job and to make sure that he he was going to Argentina. So he kind of overrode that prompting. Uh after he jumped out uh over the wall, obviously he was in horrible pain. He didn't even get the valve shut off just because he immediately got in and realized this is not a good thing and jumped out. Now, the unfortunate thing is um is that as they were trying to take the boots off, they raised his legs to try to get the boots off, and the acid had pulled in the bottom of the boots. But what happened was when they raised his leg, the acid started running down his legs. Um, and it started burning everything from his feet all the way up. Clearly, it was panic and chaos. Um I remember getting a phone call that something had happened, and just to meet him at the hospital, they couldn't even describe to me what had happened. But here's here is uh miracle number two is that as they were lifting his legs up and the acid was running down, it didn't go past his garment line. And I know that everyone says, Oh, you know, sometimes that's a symbolic thing that garments protect you. But in this case, for Darren, it was a physical barrier to that acid that prevented the acid from running further and doing more damage. Um and you we have pictures of it at the time, and you can clearly see where the uh acid. Ended and it is right directly at his garment line. Um, and so just a little side note on plug for wearing garments. Um, it is a protection for sure. And we have a testimony of that. In the chaos that happened, they went took him to McKay Hospital, and he was way out of their ability to help him. And so they immediately took him to the University of Utah Burn Center. Now, if you've ever been in a burn center, um it is a an indescribable experience. It is, and I've been in the hospital a lot uh and have been on different floors in different places, but the the worst place in a hospital that I think um can be is the burn center. It is a place where people have been disfigured, have been maimed by other people. There were they were there were people in there that were burned over 98% of their body because a boyfriend was drunk and you know got mad and lit lit this woman on fire. There was children in there. The smells of the cauterizing when they came, when um when the new patients would come in, you'd have to suit up just to visit, um, wear masks and gloves. And it was very, very kind of a lockdown situation. And uh it was just overwhelming to say the least. But I will say about that experience that the Lord taught me to look on the inside because even though these people were so disfigured and maimed and were kind of scary to look at, we were I the Lord taught me to have ice to see more on the inside of a person and realize that these are real people with real feelings and real joys and real sorrows. And it was just a huge learning experience for me, both in the on the floor and in physical therapy, getting to know these patients because you get to know their families and their patients because you've suddenly been forced into this situation together, a horrible situation, and no one else can understand it except for those people who are going through it. And there were lessons learned there that I will never forget. Um, but it was also a very horrible experience. Uh, doctors, the doctor came in and examined Darren, and Darren had just lost feeling, and so he was up walking around, which was not normal in the burn unit because everyone else was generally sedated because they couldn't handle the pain. But because Darren, Darren uh just had all of his nerves burned off and he wasn't feeling anything. And he the doctor said that they were gonna have to do skin grafts. Now, a skin graft is where they take good skin. So they took that from his upper thighs and they kind of, I don't know, slice it off like kind of like a cheese grater, and then put it on the wounds and let that grow together. Um, and so obviously it's a painful, horrible experience. But they said to Darren that they were gonna have to amputate his left foot because it was so bad. And um, the thought of that obviously was scary. And uh we prayed and we begged and we prayed and we begged with with God that that wouldn't happen. And so the night before the surgery, the and the expectation was that he was gonna go have skin grafts and also have that uh same surgery for cutting his or for amputating his foot, he received a priesthood blessing from his dad that night. And he was told that he would be able to keep his legs. And that's miracle number three. That in that moment, um, the Lord decided to grant that petition from a worthy priesthood holder. And the next morning we woke up, and the doctor said that it was a miracle that he was going to be able to keep his leg, um, his foot. And uh they proceeded with all of the surgeries. And that was just the beginning of the surgeries, and it was weeks and weeks in the hospital, uh multiple surgeries because the first ones didn't take, and so you have to go in and you have to do it again. And um, me trying to describe the pain is not possible because I was not the one in pain, I was the one watching it, and we had a little toddler at the time, so I was trying to navigate all of that, being a mom and trying to support my husband and love my husband and and fearing that he was going to lose his life and what was I going to do. Um, and at that time, one kind of the main um way that they would treat this is obviously through surgeries and everything else. Um, but the doctors would hand out pain pills and literally like candy, and I'm not joking, which at the time was totally needed. Obviously, when he's going through all of this pain, right? Um, that is a necessary evil to help him through whatever it is that he needed to get through. And this was, and it took a long time. And so eventually he was released from the hospital, and I was his nurse at the time, and we would have to do we would have to change dressings once a day. And I remember just taking the bandages off, and we'd have to wash and clean because infection was kind of a big deal back then. And um, I remember just him grabbing onto the tub and white knuckling it, and it was so painful for him. And it was hard because I was the one that was causing him pain because I'm trying to, you know, clean it. And there was obviously he's in so much pain, and and he's trying not to uh take it out on me, but I'm the one inflicting it, and it was just not a good, fun situation. But he was my husband, and I had made that covenant to love him and to take care of him, and so we eventually just kind of adjusted to the new normal, and um, we tried to move on with our life. The therapy tried continued, uh, the pain pills continued, and in the meantime, we it seemed our life was revolving around his care for obviously good reasons, um, surgeries and and everything like that. Um in the middle of all this, and I'm talking about a 15-year-ish span, uh, we had six children, um, and bless their souls. They were adjusting to that way of life. Um, and I don't I don't think we did everything right, for sure. We loved our kids, but the problem is is when addiction becomes part of your life, um it becomes the only thing that matters. It is the center spot that everything else revolves around. And for kids to navigate that um is a difficult thing. But in spite of all of that, um they turned out to be amazing human beings, full of empathy and love for others. And I would hope that part of that was watching their mom and dad struggle with this situation that we had been dealt with, the the cards that we had been dealt. And um, so for I need to acknowledge A, that uh uh it wasn't easy for the kids, but I also want to say that they have um they're amazing humans and they they learned a lot from it. And I always tell my kids the goal in life is to do better than your parents did. And hopefully, if every generation can do better than their parents did, then a lot of traditions of their fathers um can be melted away and uh things can get better. And I think that's what's happening with my kids. And I just shout out to them and I want to know that want them to know that I love them. Um when it comes to addiction, it is a it is a demanding task master, task master, and it exacts nothing uh less than everything in your life. And in those close lives who are intertwined with you. Um, it never stops needing to be fed. Every single decision that you make in your life revolves around the addiction. And when I'm talking, I'm talking about um all kinds of addictions. And this is kind of one of the reasons why we felt like we needed to kind of bear our souls in this situation, is because we know there's a lot of people dealing with addiction in different forms, whether it's pornography, whether it's opioids, whether it's alcohol, whether it's uh food, whatever the addiction is. First of all, I want to acknowledge the difficulty of that. But I also hope that this can be an encouraging step in the right direction, that there is hope for it, and also for those caretakers who are taking care of that person and who love that person, hopefully that being open and honest that this will help give you hope because when you lose hope, that's when things start going sideways. Um addiction is very, very hard to navigate around. And back in those days, um, there wasn't like places like we have now that offered help. It was just, you know, just suck it up. This is just what it is. And so you basically white knuckle your life thinking that eventually and hoping eventually that things would shift. And um we were just holding on for dear life. It was all we could do, just day by taking it day by day and trying to figure out this thing that was so pervasive in our life. Um at and I also at this point want to acknowledge friends um that really cared and loved for us at this time because it's not easy to have um relationships where addiction is part of it, but I want to acknowledge friends in those days and continue to be that really saw us as the savior sauce, as someone to be loved. Um, and because not everyone stayed around, and I I totally understand that it's a lot for someone to take. Uh addiction is a hard thing to process and a hard thing to be around. So I just want to acknowledge those friends of ours who loved us and helped us, you know, even day by day and treating us like we were normal, like nothing to see here, even though we all knew that the addiction was raging. Um, and at that time we were just holding on for dear life, and we kind of not intentionally, but I feel like we just kind of kicked God out of the picture. Uh, we we were feeling like we just had to figure it out on our own, and uh and it was a crazy time, anyways. You have lots of little ones running around and you're trying to establish stuff, and it just was a lot, and it was a lot for me, it was a lot for Darren, and it just ended up being that our temple attendance got less and less, and then it stopped completely. And and there is some anger and frustration a little bit with God. Like, why did this happen? Why did you allow this to happen? Um, and if you loved me, then I wouldn't have to be going through this. And I know now that that is false doctrine, and that we go through things whether by it by our own admission or by God allowing us to have natural uh interactions as humans, uh, that those are opportunities of growth. If you turn to him, if you don't turn to him, then it spirals and addiction and everything else just gets out of control. And pretty soon your family is decimated and your friends have left and you have nothing to show for it in your life. Um, because if you think you can white knuckle through addiction, you're sorely mistaken. It will win every single time, and the only one that can change that is God. The only one that can change that is God. At that time, and it was about 15 years in, I was just getting tired. Um I was tired of trying to navigate the addiction. Uh, I was tired of trying to navigate the relationship whose third party member was addiction. Um I understood that it was impossible at the time for me to understand the pain that he was in, for sure. Uh, I had been through, you know, several C-sections and stuff like that, but there is nothing, there is no way for him to tell me uh the pain that he was in. And so I acknowledged that. But I also knew that um what I started to understand was that the pain pills or the lack of pain pills was causing more pain eventually than the original injury. His body needed more and more drugs to compensate because your body just gets used to it. Uh, he was taking after insurance $800 a month worth of pills. And when you start doing that, you've got to take other pills to counteract the side effects of another pill. And it was just this never-ending cycle. And I remember sitting in the doctor's office begging and pleading with the doctors not to give him any more pain pills. And they dismissed me out of hand and just said, oh, don't worry, this pain pill, this new one, is non-addictive. If a doctor ever tells you that any kind of pain remedy is non-addictive, that is a lie. That is 100% a lie. I we we sat in every single one of those different brands and types of pain pills, and every single one was more addictive than the other one. And I just knew that there was I couldn't do it anymore. It was a hole that I could not dig myself myself out of. I'm a pretty strong person, I'm a pretty patient person, and I'm a pretty forgiving person, but I just could not do it anymore. And I finally got to the point to where um I just thought, I'm done. He's done, I'm done. We can't figure out how to have a healthy relationship. We've given it our best shot. Um, we had gone through on top of the addiction, lots of experiences where we had lost a set of twins. We've had a lot of devastating things happen in our life through our own choices and through choices that had been um given to us, if that's the right word. We I we had both just given it our best, and we were both not capable of handling the addiction anymore. And I just couldn't I couldn't do it anymore. So I went to my dad at the time trying to figure out what to do and what my options would be, and asking him his advice, and he definitely had his opinions on what should happen. Um, but he kind of put those aside. I kind of miss him, he's gone, but um he put those aside and gave me a priesthood blessing. And in that blessing, he told me very specifically that I needed to ask Heavenly Father um what to do and to listen to what he told me to do, and that if I did that, then things would be okay. And I remember walking away from that, going, He doesn't hear me. Look at my last 15 years. There is no way that he that he's gonna care, because if he hasn't cared for 15 years, I thought this is me thinking, then why is he gonna tell me what to do now? And revelation at the time for me was sketchy, very, very sketchy. Um, which I know now part of that was because I was pulling away from God. Um, and I was struggling with a lot of different kinds of emotions. And I didn't revelation was a completely foreign concept to me. I knew it was something that we taught, we have been taught was possible, but it just I couldn't, I wasn't even sure I was gonna get an answer. But I decided to listen to my dad and trust in my dad. And trust that my other dad, my heavenly father, loved me just as much as my earthly dad did, and that he was going to tell me what I needed to do. And I remember the moment, the day that I went and knelt down and prayed and asked uh Heavenly Father what he needed. And I remember it was almost immediate. I was told very, very clearly to not give up on our relationship. And it was the most clearest answer I had ever gotten, and the most confusing answer I had ever gotten in my life. Because in my mind, there it was no way that this was going to be okay. In my mind, the only answer was we just have to walk away from the relationship. Um, that was my that was my idea of what needed to happen. So when I got the opposite in that, and it was very, very clear, I was confused for a minute. But I'm a pretty stubborn person, and sometimes that serves me well, and sometimes it doesn't. But in this case, I just decided to have faith in it, and I didn't know how it was gonna get fixed. I honestly didn't. I didn't know how it was gonna fix because in my mind, there was it wasn't fixable. Um, and it was gonna take some kind of miracle for us to get through it. Um, and as we continued to try to navigate it, things did not immediately get better. But there that that one very clear revelatory experience gave me clarity and something to focus on and trusting. And I I kind of started moving back towards God. Um, and I didn't know it at the time, but God had a miraculous intervention for us um in changing our lives and changing the whole trajectory of our eternity, honestly. I could not imagine what was coming next. Um, but on August 3rd in 2010, um, it was it started out to be a normal day. I had just come in for from a morning run. Um And that morning, Darren was awake. And that was not normal because every all the drugs they give you basically knocks you out. And it's hard to get up anytime past, you know, before 11 noon o'clock. What is that? Um, but he was awake and he had this kind of like puzzled, confused, pondering look on his face. And um he was waiting for me, and he said that something had happened to him. And he had described that he was in a dead sleep and he heard a male voice, and he pointed to where he heard it from, call his name out. Now, the interesting thing about Darren's name is not it's not spelled like you would normally think. His name is spelled D-E-R-E-N, and he said that the voice knew him because they knew how to spell his name. And he it was an extraordinary experience, and he didn't know where to put it, he didn't know what category to put it in. Um, but he had noted it and had explained it to me, and we just talked about it for a minute, and I thought, well, that's kind of cool. I'm not sure what that means or um what it was for, but uh, and maybe I maybe I thought a little bit the time, like maybe it was the pills causing some reaction. Um, but it was just the beginning of a mirror of the miracles that happened that day. Um I think sometimes when we and this is I guess maybe a little side note, um, when you get into addictions, it causes uh a reaction where it it is it tends to dampen the spirit's ability to hear uh spiritual experiences. And so at the time for Darren, that was kind of like a major situation and a major thing that had happened to him because feeling the spirit for him for a long time had not been a thing, even though he tried and he'd struggled and he'd kind of given up and then he'd try and he'd struggle and he'd give up again. And I think he was finally just getting to the point where he's like, why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep fighting? You know, this isn't gonna change. Um that day was also different because I was going with him to a work meeting to his work, um, which didn't normally happen. So we got ready and we headed out for the meeting and um went to the meeting and you know, nothing out of the ordinary. And then on the way home, um, because he needed to drop me off and then head back to his work. On the way home, um, he decided to go a different way. And he was insistent that we go a different way. And I'm like, okay, whatever, dude. Like, we don't need to like get it, like, whatever. Okay, cool. Do you do you is what I was thinking. Um, and so we decided to go a different way, and we were pulling up to the intersection right by our house. Like, I I we were from where I was sitting in my car, I literally could look over across the field and see my house. Like that's how close we were. And it was in Ammon, Idaho. Um, and there we were stopped at the stop sign, and then the car directly in front of us was also stopped. And coming down the road was a huge gravel truck going pretty fast. And in the blink of an eye, the car that was across from us decided to go through the intersection. I don't know if she didn't see the gravel truck. I I honestly don't know what happened. Um, but she got sideswiped by this gravel truck going pretty fast. And she was like in a little Honda, uh, a little, maybe it was a Honda, maybe it was a Camry, just a little car like that. Um, and that sound of the initial crash was deafening. And there was dust everywhere and just smells everywhere. And finally, when the dust settled and we got a clear view of what had happened, uh it we were horrified. This little car was and in the burrow pit uh across from kind of where we were at now. And so Darren rushed over there um to see who was in there and if they were going to be okay. And I rushed to the side of the car and I called 911. Um, and I was trying to look through anything that I could find to find her name and to tell the the 911 people where we were at. And I mean, we literally live, I would say less than three miles away from the hospital. So I was like, okay, they're gonna get here really, really fast. They're gonna get here really, really fast. Um, and as Darren was assessing the situation, he got sick uh for what he was seeing. He doesn't do well. I don't know who would in that situation. So he traded me and he got up on the road and was looking for the ambulance, and I was I went to the driver's side of the car where Luanna was. And I just remember the scene was just horrifying. But I remember taking her in my arms, putting my arms around her, and just telling her, calling her by name and telling her to breathe and that everything was gonna be okay. Um, there was glass everywhere. I mean, I I just I don't want to describe this situation any more than I need to because it was pretty awful. And she was not she was not in a good place. And I kind of was panicking, and I looked to Darren, who was standing on the road, kind of to try to give me an indication that they were on their way, because honestly, at that point, there was nothing I could do except for just love on her. And at that time of the panic, uh a gentleman who looked like he was Native American descent um showed up at the side of the car that I was on. And I remember because he was there, he was he wasn't there, and then he was there, and I just thought, oh, okay. And I was kind of surprised. Um, but I kind of took comfort in knowing that someone else was there, that I wasn't the only one just trying to navigate the situation by myself. And she was taking breaths, and I thought, and I said to this guy, I said, Oh, look, she's taking breaths, she's probably gonna be okay. Um, they just need to get here fast. And um, he looked at me right in the eye, and he said, No, those are the kind of breaths that someone takes before they pass. And I remember thinking my brain saying, No, no, no, no, no. But in that moment, I knew what he was saying was correct, and I had this weird, this weird sense of peace in a horrible, chaotic moment. There was no way I should have been feeling peace in any sense of the word. But I felt peace in that moment, and I turned to look back at Luann and just focusing and trying to give her encouraging words and hoping that this stranger was wrong. A few seconds later, there was the only way that I could describe it was like a nuclear bomb of pure love, of a love and of a kind that I have never felt before in my life. Um and it started in an emanated, it was like a shockwave, it emanated from Luanna and went out from her. And there, I can't describe it in any other way. And I looked at Darren and he immediately recognized it, and we both looked at each other like, what the heck is that all about? And we were both still panicking, but we were both feeling this indescribable love at the same time. I don't know how those two things can be at the same time, but they were, and we were crying in disbelief about what we were feeling. Um, and I believe, I'm not sure, but I believe that it was in that moment that she had passed. Not soon after that. The paramedics finally arrived, and everyone else arrived, and that created its own chaos. You know, they they took me from where I was at and started working on her and started trying to do her things. They pulled me up on the road, and a policeman pulled me aside and asked me what had happened. He was trying to get a witness statement. And after I had told him what happened, he said, Was there any other witnesses around? And I said, Yeah. And I I turned to point to the direction that the stranger had been in, and he wasn't there. And I said, Well, yeah, he was there was a guy here. I said, Did you see him drive away? And he and the cop said, No, I didn't, we didn't see anyone drive away. And I thought that was weird because if this happened in an open field, you could literally see in all directions someone leaving. There's no way that you couldn't have seen him. And I I didn't know what to say to that. I know that I know that he was real. I saw him with my eyes, he spoke to me, and he was there in that moment that Luan passed. Past that, I probably can't say more or under even understand it. Um but in the in the chaos of it all, in the explosion of love and everything else, I'd lost sight of this man. And I had no idea what had happened to him. One of the paramedics then pulled me into the back of the ambulance to check me out. Um, they were just checking to make sure I was okay. And physically, for sure, I was okay. Obviously, I was in shock. Uh, and they were worried about me. They said, you know, are you doing okay? Because this is a pretty traumatic experience. And you're probably going to have PTSD from this, and because it's pretty common after these things. And I don't know if it was the adrenaline or what it was, but I was just um, no, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. And so it's like that part of me that's like suck it up, you're fine, you know, no big deal, nothing to see here. Um, inside I was freaking out, obviously. Um, after everything was said and done, they sent us home. And I remember going and sitting on the couch, and I just started crying. It just all started coming out. The miracles of the day, which were the love and all of the other things that we had experienced, but also the trauma and having to see that all, um and feeling guilty that maybe I couldn't have done something more to save her. I was thinking of her family, her children, and her grandchildren who were probably getting the worst news of their life. Um and I just felt I felt the weight of it. I really, really did. Um, and as I was sitting there, uh the beginning, this is the beginning of Mark, this was the mark or the beginning of my thinning of the veil experiences. Uh, it I know why it happened now, but at the time it was just so extraordinary. And I get it still is now for sure, but I have more context behind it now. Um, and you know, it's I guess it started that morning with my husband's experience with hearing his voice, hearing someone's voice, like, wake up, Darren. He basically felt like they were saying, Wake up, it's time to change your life, or maybe your life is about to change. But it was that kind of feeling. And I was sitting on the couch and I felt her arms around me. And I don't know how I knew that it was her, but I physically felt her arms around me. And this is what she said to me. You need to get back to the temple. And it was so matter-of-fact and given in such love. And I was taken by surprise because it was as real as someone hugging me and telling me that face to face. And I immediately looked up at Darren and he could tell something was up. And he said, What? And I said, She wants us to get back to the temple. And how do you quantify that to someone who that idea seemed so far and so unattainable based on where we were at? But it was in it was an invitation for us both. And um I decided in that moment that come heck or high water, I was going back. Darren was unsure at the time. This was a lot to process, and his journey back was different than mine, and I would say maybe more intense because he's the one that had the addiction. Um so I made the necessary changes. I went through the repentance process. I need to testify and be and let you know that that is a sweet process and that I'm grateful for my savior who allowed me and loves me enough to have the opportunity to come back to my covenants. At that time, Darren was still on the fence, and so I made a deal with Heavenly Father, which I'm not sure if this works or not, but that's what I did at the time. That if I would go to the temple once a week, that he would provide the necessary miracles that Darren and I needed at the time because still things, the addiction was still there. Things were maybe a little bit better, more in focus because of what had just happened to us. Um, but it wasn't like a magic wand had been, you know, and everything was hunky-dory all in the moment. So I would go every week, every week, every week. And I didn't know how to find names at the time. So I was just going. And I was kind of having, I was just, and the temple was new, the experiences were new, so I was just soaking it all in. And one of the temple workers gave me uh some advice. Sweet little lady, she gave me some advice that actually changed the way that I worship in the temple. And she said to me, if you will say their name before, say their name, and then before or after you do the ordinance, bear your testimony to them. It will make a difference not only for you, but for them. And in that moment, the focus changed from just attending the temple to actually be involved, being involved in someone seeking for eternal life and coming back to their savior. Because it's no different than gathering Israel on this side of the veil. When you meet someone, you testify in person to them, there's power behind it. And so when you bear testimony to those who you're doing your work for, they suddenly become real. It's not like just another name on a piece of paper, right? And you're there because it's just good to be in the temple. Um, they become a living, uh, breathing soul. And you start to see them as children of God and not just things that need to be done, if that makes any sense. And I started doing that. And it felt a little weird in the beginning, but oh over time, it has become a sacred interaction. With every name that I take in the temple, it becomes a sacred and unique interaction where it's just them and I coming together at this point or trajectory in time where we are influencing each other's lives for eternity. Because I believe once I leave here, I will know them. And we will embrace each other, and it will be such a miraculous, happy day. Um, and as I was kind of going through these experiences, Darren was watching me very, very carefully. Um, and he was hearing my experiences in the temple, and bless his soul, he never once ever and has never told me that I'm crazy. He has believed every word that I have ever said about it and has supported me in it and loved me in it, even when I'm sure people thought that I was crazy. Um, and after watching this week after week, month after month, he literally woke up one day and he said, I'm getting off my drugs, which in and of itself is a miracle. See, when Darren makes up his mind, it's a done deal. Right? It's a weakness and a strength. Um, he literally that day stopped taking all of his drugs. Now, obviously, this is not recommended. It was it, I mean, this is something that needs to involve professionals. But for Darren, in that moment, the minute he decided, the Lord gave him the ability to do it. Now, we still had to go through the withdrawal process, which was horrible for him, way more horrible for him than it was for me, but it was horrible for both of us. But we knew when we had a goal at the end of this, that the Lord is was going to uh make this happen for us in our lives. And so we walked through it and we had faith. And um day after day, the Lord provided strength to both of us and clarity to both of us. And Darren decided to take the invitation that Luann had extended to us, to both of us. He finally decided this is the right time and this is what I want to do. So he went through the same process. Um, and you know, it was weird because I could kind of comfort him in that area because I'd just been through it, and so I knew the anxieties and the fears, and Satan tells you that you're not worthy, and I mean, all of these things that Satan does to prevent you from coming back to our Heavenly Father and the Savior, those feelings and those thoughts are real, and man was he fighting that. Satan was railing Darren taking that step. But he went through the process and he stuck to it and he had faith. When he got his temple recommended, he just he decided that he was gonna go every day because you suddenly have clarity now. When you don't have drugs in your system, you have clarity about what your life actually is. And you can see with clarity how big of a life or a mess in your life and the damage that has been done. And you go, How can I fix this? How am I going to be able to fix this? Um, and so he decided to go to the temple every single day. And in the beginning, we didn't take our own names. Again, this was before family search people, YSA kids, especially. This is before push the ordinances ready button. It was difficult at the time. And we both came from families where I know, like ants, certain people have done it for generations and everything's done. By the way, FYI, that's a swear word to me now, because there is so much work to do. There is no way that it's done. It's not going to be done until the end of the millennium. So you just take that little excuse, right, out of wherever you're storing it and know that that's not a thing. And we'll learn in later podcasts how to do that and how to be more effective at that. And because it's actually way easier than it used to be, and especially when you are doing it through Revelation. Um eventually he felt prompted like that he wanted to take family names. So he walked into the family history library and just the Lord showed him away and figured out how to show him how to find the cousin line, which is where most of the work needs to be done. And he found this sweet family named the De Gears. And ever since that day, and that's a that's another podcast day um story, but we have been dear friends ever since. That De Gear family has been involved in our lives ever since that day. And again, I'll share that later. And so that was the beginning of family history for us. And so honestly, people think that I was the one that got us started in this, but it was actually uh Darren, who through the repentance process, through the mercy and grace of our Savior, was shown that he was needed in God's kingdom. And here's the deal about that is that addiction creates a vacuum. And if you don't fill it with something, you'll go right back to the addiction. Family history was filling the hole and taking the place of the addiction. And as he did more work, his desires for those drugs got less and less and less and less. And he was given power to walk through that and given power to overcome. And it's it it and it's not ever over, right? It's never over, it's a constant battle. I mean, he still has pain every day, but he knows that the Lord can strengthen and help him. Because if he knows he goes, if he goes back to it, he he has a standing invitation to take any opioid he wants to take, honestly. But he purposely chooses to fill his life with other things, having faith that the that the savior and that our heavenly father will provide the means for him to be able to do those things that he has been called upon to do. Had it not been for the divine intervention of a loving Heavenly Father through an angel named Luana Claire Hyde Meekham, I shuddered to think of what would have happened to me and my family. In that moment of graduating to the other side, Luanna provided a miracle and was allowed to provide a miracle in our lives that day that changed everything. That was her last sacrifice in bringing to pass the immortality and eternal life of me and my family. And the cool thing is, there's a rest to the story. Um, Darren had an amazing experience with her at her funeral, and that that's his story to tell if he ever wants to. Um, but we met with her family after the funeral and after the experience to kind of let them know kind of what had happened because you want to know if someone passes, you know, you have questions about um what happened and and if they were okay, and we tried to relay as much information as possible, but they told us that Luanna was a temple worker, and that Sunday she was supposed to speak about temples and church, and that she was um that was the topic that she had been given. And the cool thing is, is that she did give her talk, and it may not have been on that Sunday, but that day she testified of the importance of temples, and it literally changed the trajectory of not only our lives, but every single life since then that we have done work for, that um others have done work for through our testimonies. That ripple effect of one person bearing test bearing testimony um changed everything. That's the power of the one, and that's the power of testimony. Um, shortly after that, though, we moved to Hyde Park. And what we didn't know at the time is that Luanna grew up in Hyde Park. Remember, there's no coincidences. She grew up in Hyde Park. Um, her family was here, she went to school here. She literally is in the same exact city, lived in the same exact city that we moved to from our experience with her. So the same amount of distance that it took from where she passed to our house. Remember, I could look out over the field, is the same distance from our house now to the cemetery where her ancestors are buried. Hyde Park was named after her ancestors. And the coolest thing of all is that a few years ago, Darren decided to revisit it because we are a lot, we were a lot better at family search by then and had a lot more access to information. And so he decided to look her up. And um the thing is that Darren and Luanna were related. So things had come full circle for us. And the Lord said, I need you to help me bring back some lost sheep, and he weaved this beautiful tapestry of coincidences, which aren't coincidences, and beautiful um experiences that forever bonded our lives together. And the coolest thing about that is that she was related, and her final act of testimony was to bring back her cousin that needed help, saving, and miraculous intervention from. She brought us back to the temple where the waters of life and healing flow freely. I really shudder to think what would have happened if the Lord had not intervened that day through Luanna. It is impossible for me to comprehend um what could have happened if not. But I testify that God knows who you are, He wants you to come home, and He will move heaven and earth for that to happen. And if it doesn't feel like it's happening right now, have faith that even though you may not see it, there are workings on behalf of you that will be made evident sooner or later that he will bring you back, or he will allow you and heal you and invite you to come back. President Holland in his last talk said this beautiful thing, and we're gonna have a podcast about that whole talk because that's a whole nother awesome sauce talk prefaced by a near-death experience, which I was like, yay, yay, yay, yay, we're gonna talk about these things. But this is what he said, and I want you to think in context of what I have just related. He says, I bear witness that when Christ comes, he needs to recognize us not as nominal members listed on a faded baptismal record, but as thoroughly committed, faithfully believing, covenant-keeping disciples. This is an urgent matter for all of us, lest we ever hear with devastating regret, I never knew you, or as Joseph Smith translated that phrase, you never knew me. And then he said, Fortunately, we have help for this task, lots of help. We need to believe in angels and miracles and the promises of the holy priesthood. We need to believe in the gift of the Holy Ghost, the influence of good families and friends, and the power of the pure life of love of Christ. We need to believe in revelation and prophets, seers and revelators and President Russell M. Nelson. We need to believe that with prayer and pleading and personal righteousness, we really can ascend to Mount Zion, the city of the living God, the heavenly place, the holiest of all. I bear my testimony to the reality and truth of what Elder Holland said. I believe in the reality of angels and miracles and the spirit of revelation and the Holy Ghost. And I believe they are sent to help us to come back and to bring others with us. That's the reality of the thinning of the veil. That's the reality of the promises of God. And if it can happen to me, then it can happen to anyone. I bear my testimony of a loving and merciful and kind Heavenly Father and a Savior Jesus Christ who made and the ability, allowed us to have the ability to make mistakes, to experience mortalness, and to choose to come back, and that he uses every way possible to influence us to get us to come back. And bringing back his children. And that's what Luanna Claire Hyde-Meekum did for us that day. She was and will ever be part of our eternal journey. And I honestly can't wait to see her again because I didn't get to thank her in person. But someday I will be able to do that. I hope that as you have heard this story of mine, it will give you hope in your own life, give you hope in some of the things that you might be struggling in, that the Lord really does hear and know you. And that, and not all these not all the experiences that I've had are this crazy and um miraculous, but through small and simple ways, great things are come to great things come to pass. And those great things are coming back to God and our Savior Jesus Christ. I hope that you will stay tuned for the next one. Thank you for allowing me to be raw and real. The band aid now has been torn off. And hopefully you can uh accept my testimony and my story out of love. Um, and share this with anyone who you think might be struggling. Because I'm here to be honest and I'm here to be open so that others can have the hope and realize and understand that this is not a perfection process. The thinning of the veil does not come because you're perfect, it comes because you're loved and that your feet are moving in the right direction. Thank you, my friends, for joining me in this podcast. Please join in with the next one and like and subscribe and do all of those things so that this podcast can be more available to others. Until next time. We'll see you later.