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Starting Standup in Maine with David Walton
This is an audio journal of actor, David Walton (Fired Up, New Girl, About a Boy, Bad Moms, Power:Ghost) as he builds a standup comedy set in public with the help of comedians and friends. New episodes every Thursday.
Starting Standup in Maine with David Walton
Ep 1.5 - Then Go Here (Mission Statement)
Confusion is a bitch.
Get crystal clear on what this podcast is and where it's headed with this strange FAQ.
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Hey yo, so this is a frequently asked question. Welcome. I love FAQs so, if you're interested, I'm doing this FAQ a little differently. I am going to be playing both characters in this FAQ. One is a sort of aggressive douchebag, very, very angry, and then I'll be answering his very aggressive questions. I hope you enjoy.
Speaker 1:What's up man? What is this podcast and who the fuck are you? Oh hi Hi. I'm David Walton. I'm a 45-year-old great ape, 6'4", 210 pounds, and I'm starting stand-up stand-up comedy after 20 years doing film and TV. And I'm starting stand-up stand-up comedy after 20 years doing film and TV.
Speaker 1:I am currently deep in the throes of a midlife crisis, and so I am going to build, sir, a Netflix caliber 20-minute stand-up set in public on this podcast so I can humiliate myself and turn into a moneyless, egoless rainbow. It was kind of weird. Have you ever done stand-up before, bro? Yeah, actually, but only three weeks ago. I have now done six open mics in Portland Maine in the last three weeks, so I am a brand new beginner.
Speaker 1:Dude. How are you going to achieve that fucking ridiculous goal, man? I, I know stand up and, honestly, everyone it's an offensive goal takes people, takes 10 years to get decent at stand up, why are you sending a goal to do it in one that like guarantees humiliation? You're either a megalomaniac or an idiot you're probably both and you're going to publish standup material that isn't ready or funny. People are going to judge you. You think you're a loser, you stupid. Why don't you just spend the time practicing standup the traditional way? Okay, look, I live. I understand you're like, live it. You're like the voice in my head, but just relax. I live in Maine, man, I need help. Okay, I live like in the fucking forest. The open mics in Portland aren't as helpful as they are in other cities because it's tiny crowds in Maine consisting mostly of other stand-ups, and you need real people to know if you're funny or not.
Speaker 1:So this podcast is like a hack. It's a hack that's going to supercharge my development, development, and basically I'm willing to humiliate myself to get better faster. Also, I love when people share their creative process. I eat it up. Building in public, sharing your work, it's the best. So I hope you will eat this up. Okay, but like, why should I even fucking care, man? Why do I care about starting stand-up with David Walton? I don't even want to be a stand-up and there are like four billion podcasts out there. Look, I know that even if you're not into stand-up, you've got problems and I want to help you solve them Now.
Speaker 1:Maybe, sir, you wish you were a better storyteller, Maybe you wish you could be funnier, maybe make more people laugh. Maybe you just need material for your own stand-up and you can steal from a podcast no one will listen to. Yeah, all right. Well, what emotions will I experience listening? I like to experience emotions when I listen to podcasts. Well, great question. I think you're going to experience face-melting, secondhand shame, dork tingles, nerd bumps, maybe some inspiration and joy, who knows. But I think your appreciation for the masters of stand-up, the rock stars, the top dogs and doggettes, I think that's going to skyrocket when you see how much I suck ass.
Speaker 1:What's different about this podcast? Well, I already think it's different. But you know, most comedy podcasts focus on established comics and mine shows the early grassroots grind. So it's different. It's different. All right, dude, you kind of got me. But how is it going to be organized, the podcast? Well, it's fluid. I'm going to keep you on your toes, but most episodes you're going to hear me do live stand-up and bomb, and you're going to hear a bunch of weird-ass segments.
Speaker 1:Oh, what could I? Just tell me what I can. That doesn't make sense. What could I expect every week? All right, you can expect me.
Speaker 1:My solemn vow is that I'm going to be honest with you. I'm going to be vulnerable at times, I'm also going to let some strange impulses release so I can express something that I bottle up. But really I just want to entertain and educate you and deliver extremely uneven material in a state of joy and humiliation. How long are the episodes, man? I don't have a ton of time. Well, honestly, they're going to be 10 to 30 minutes, depending on traffic, probably in the 10 to 20 minute range, and new episodes every Thursday. Hey, just out of curiosity, because you've got me hooked.
Speaker 1:But what have you learned so far? Doing six open mics? I've learned that I'm not funny and that my mind is an absolute mess and I don't know how to write good jokes. I don't know, actually, how to write jokes and that I absolutely love it. Really. Why do you love it? Don't ask why questions. They make people defensive and clam up. Just fuck off. I love it because I love it. Okay, asshole, what is? Um? Just tell me what success looks like for the podcast and for your stand-up act. What's your definition of success, man? Honestly, I think success will just be to keep sucking less, to continue to improve the craft of making an audience laugh and to continue to ignore fear of humiliation and ego death. So just process over results, dick.
Speaker 1:Is there a good metaphor for this podcast, bro? I like metaphors. All right, let me think of one here. Okay, I got one for you, dick. Stand-up acts are like cars. Right, the top dogs, the top ones. Seinfeld, bill Burr, whitney Cummings, amy Schumer these are the Bugattis, the Ferraris of stand-up. When you go see them perform, you're paying to watch them. Just drive this fine-tuned-ass, beautiful car on the stage and you laugh your ass off every 12 seconds max. What you don't see is all the work that goes under the hood, the engine, the transmission, the I don't know. I don't know cars.
Speaker 1:You just this podcast is me building a standup car in public Engines, wheels, whatever the fuck a car is made of. You get the point. I build a dog shit engine. I throw it out. I learn, you learn. I build another dog shit engine. I throw it out, I learn, you learn. I build another dog shit engine. It sucks a little bit less. It works a little bit. It starts for two seconds and then it fails. I learn, you learn. We are exactly like Elon Musk building his rockets Exactly those rockets all blew up in the sky and then one didn't, and now they're great. And that's what we're doing here. We're changing metaphors from cars to rockets and now we're changing it back to cars.
Speaker 1:I am building a stand-up car in public. In one year I'm going to ask you for money, enter a theater or a public restroom and I'm going to drive whatever car I have made around for 20 minutes. Will the car drive? Will the car start? Will it look like a wheel is rusted out chevelle in my neighbor's backyard? I have no idea and I made that up. I don't even have neighbors in Maine. Most of the year, this podcast will be a slow, super exciting slow motion car crash or maybe a slow motion, speedy lap around the stage, even though that doesn't make sense. Is there anything? All right, you got me, dude. That was a sick metaphor, really confusing, but really sick too. How can I help you? I want to help you because clearly you need help. I'm at email the show startingstanduppod at gmailcom. That's startingstanduppod at gmailcom. Once again startingstanduppod at gmailcom. Once again startingstanduppod at gmailcom. Find me on Instagram and X at David Walton. Let me know what you think and, of course, subscribe to this bitch. All right, enough of this FAQ nonsense, let's start stand up.