Starting Standup in Maine with David Walton

#13 - LA Fires and Open Mic #7 - Ode to My Dad, Jay Walton

• David Walton

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A comedian's job is to be funny - even when their hometown is on fire. In this raw episode, David copes with the LA fires by sharing a recent stand-up set about his emotionally reserved father, complete with generational observations about hugging, shame, and yes, bathroom mishaps. It's a love letter to both LA and David's dad.

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Speaker 1:

Hey, so I had a great show planned but I've spent the last couple days tethered to my phone watching my beloved former city burn, los Angeles. I'm counting seven now, friends who've lost their homes and undoubtedly going to rise, and it's so sad to me. Me, I do believe houses are living things. A lot of people respond, you know, when you say sorry, like it's just stuff, and I get that sentiment. But I very much believe that the walls of wherever you raise kids and live and love in absorb and they, they're kind of alive. And I'm just so sorry that, uh, my friends, some of them have lost this member of the family, a place where they created all these incredible memories and beauty, and, uh, it just makes me very sad.

Speaker 1:

So what do you do? What do you do when you're sad? But you got to be funny and it's a great question, because that's what being a professional stand-up is. You go on tour you so many times and I've listened to these guys talk about it when they are not feeling it and they got to get up on stage and entertain the crowd because that's your job and you got to do things, you got to pursue excellence, and so I thought well, you know I've got an open mic.

Speaker 1:

That was a dedication to, to my father. It was on his birthday in May it's 84th and I listened to it and I like it and it's it's something that made me feel good. It made me feel connected to my dad, who is uh, you know, probably doesn't have a whole lot longer to live and is about to move into an old folks home next week, and so what better way than a son to get on stage and rip on their own father to get laughs? No, it's not, it's not exactly like that, but this is a stand-up set I did as an ode to my dad. His name is Jay Walton and I hope you enjoy it. I hope it's somewhat heartwarming. I think it was appropriate.

Speaker 1:

I hope it's appropriate, as so much destruction and pain and suffering gets unleashed on this city that I love. So this episode is 100%, 1000%, dedicated to all the people in LA who are suffering right now.

Speaker 2:

That's rubbish. Coming up to the mic is David Walton. Let's give it up for David Walton. Thank you everybody, good to be here. This is a special performance. My dad is turning 84 tomorrow, so this is a note to him. This one's for you, dad. I don't know why I just did that. He's not dead, but we're going gonna keep it going.

Speaker 2:

Does anyone here have a dad who hates hugging, who finds hugging to be very awkward? Anyone? Yeah, oh good, yeah, yeah, so you get it. Yeah, it's like a completely different generation, like he's born in 1940, it's all handshakes. It's like the generation where you're a boy and they're telling you that your mom died and they're like put your hands on you.

Speaker 1:

You're a good woman.

Speaker 2:

Now go play with some sticks in the woods. You're a good kid, you know that kind of thing. And so my dad really he gets so awkward, like when I was going off to college. My mom's a huge hugger and she was like I don't think she'd ever seen his hug and so she was not going to let him get away with it. When I was going off to college she was watching as like a hawk and it was just like. One of the most awkward moments of my life is you sort of inch in with this bear of a man and he's like and you could just see him just going oh, we've got to get this thing over with. And he came and we gave a big bear hug and he just ended up giving me the weirdest advice. He was just like whatever you do, don't get caught.

Speaker 1:

And I was like all right, and then I thought about it.

Speaker 2:

I was like that's actually pretty good advice. I didn't get caught a lot, but it's still good advice. I got caught a lot, yeah.

Speaker 2:

so my wife and I are like over correcting on the hugging thing, we have a 10 and 11 year old and we're over hugging. We're hugging a ton. My son is just like. We call it Oreo cookies. We're the cookies. He's the sweet cream filling. We're jumping in the milk. It's just over the top. And we even like double spoon them in bed, which is which is a problem, because they say, like kids, whatever they get used to, they're going to want, you know, when they're adults. So like the vaguest odds that my son at age 30 turns into like a of Mormon, polygamous is high, it's high, it's like 67%. And I got a pamphlet about polygamy and if you read it carefully it does make a lot of sense. It really does.

Speaker 2:

Actually for multiple husbands, but I don't have enough time to get into that. That's going to be my next set, but I know my wife would like multiple husbands. So what else we got here? Oh yeah, so my dad carries a lot of shame and we're all stand-ups here, so we have a tremendous amount of shame as well, and so, but I think the kids' generation, these days they don't have enough shame. It's a seesaw. They need a little bit more shame.

Speaker 2:

Like I came from seven kids right, I had six siblings and like if I did something shameful, like, let's say, I sharted or something I would never, ever tell anyone, right, I would run to the bathroom, I would panic, you know, wash my underwear Because, honestly, if any of my siblings found out that I had sharted, like I was Sharkboy for at least a year and a half, you know, and being introduced to friends and family as Sharkboy and like, nowadays it's just very different, like something is happening, like the other day my daughter is on the couch, she's eating granola and she's like hey dad, can you get some new underwear? I just sharted and I'm like wait, what? What are you?

Speaker 1:

talking about what do you mean you sharted.

Speaker 2:

She's like I thought it was a fart, what? Just give me my underwear. I'm watching some super weird anime and I'm like, no, I'm not your fucking servant. And then I realized, you know, because, unfortunately, like I do know a lot about sharding, and so the key with sharding really is to mimic a statue, Like you want to wait for help, you know, and you don't want to move. So I went and got her the underwear. But it's just like you know, we really do need more shame for these kids. So I started to spank them when they shart. I'm just kidding, I don't spank them, I don't spank them, I really don't. But, like I will say, like the whole family there's four of us we do need to gamble less. My generation we call sharding taking the gamble and losing and, um, we're losing a lot in the house so so we need to change that.

Speaker 2:

Um, anyway, my dad's my dad's name's jay he's 84 tomorrow and he, he definitely, like, my heart breaks from. He needs less shame. Like he, uh like he's way too hard on himself whenever he sharts. He's like, uh, you know, he's just like, god damn it. God damn it, and he just walked waddles away. He's like why didn't you just hold the goddamn farting idiot? You know that kind of guy. I love him to death.

Speaker 2:

Dad, this one was for you, it's your birthday uh, if you guys could do me a favor on the count of three, can you just say happy birthday Jack Ready. One, two, three. Happy birthday Jack. Oh, that's beautiful. Thank you so much, Appreciate it. Let's keep it going. Keep it going. Happy birthday to your old man.

Speaker 1:

It's funny listening back to that. There's some stuff I'm gonna try again. I like the not enough shame, I think I can expand on that.

Speaker 1:

I like that, though I think I can make a better joke, so I can't resist to do a little analysis. I can make a better joke, uh, with the, the generation where they tell you that your mom died and then just tell you to go play with a stick immediately after. I think that can be punched up. I'll find better jokes there, but I like that bit. I like talking about my dad. I realized I did it for his birthday, but then you listen to stand up and it's all.

Speaker 1:

So much of it is about your family of origin, so I think I'll expand on that. You know, my dad is, uh, he's a he's a funny character, so I should be able to find some more stuff. And then, of course, I think I'm batting a thousand for bringing up feces in all these first seven open mics. Uh, that clearly is my passion, a fecal filiac, and maybe I should just launch a podcast about feces Because clearly it needs to come out. And then, but the shame not enough shame in children is definitely an area that I have a lot to say on.

Speaker 1:

And so I think I'll work on expanding that. And yeah, so I'm happy it was nice to hear laughs. It's weird when you're up there I don't really hear them, they don't necessarily feel like I did well, and then I guess that's why you record, because you really get a sense that, oh, there was, there was some enjoyment there, there was some like genuine laughter, which is a nice feeling. Thank you for being here. I hope that made you chuckle a little bit. I hope that everyone stays safe and, just like the over-hugging that I'm doing with my children in response to the under-hugging I got from my father, I do hope everybody, rather than Veneri this week, I hope it's just really overdo the hugging. That's it, lots of love. Thank you for listening and I hope to see you next week. Bye.