Starting Standup in Maine with David Walton

#18- Joke Writing Session - Soup to Nuts

• David Walton • Season 1 • Episode 18

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The episode provides a fascinating glimpse into the creative process, showing how raw life experiences transform into structured comedy bits through careful crafting and refinement. David's vulnerability and willingness to expose his inner conflicts offer both entertainment and insight into the therapeutic potential of stand-up comedy.

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Speaker 1:

Starting stand-up is what happens when you point a microphone at a midlife crisis. Hi, I'm David Walton and after 20 years as a TV and film actor, I'm sharing the messy, uncensored journey of learning stand-up comedy, from bombing at open mics to questioning every life decision that led me here. It's part comedy workshop, part therapy session and, most certainly, career suicide. Please enjoy oh man, that's rubbish. That's rubbish. Here's the update. We had a great event happen last week. We did our first stand-up set. That really felt like a real stand-up set and got immediately rewarded, as the hosts of the open mic invited me to do their particular shows for a paying audience. Of course I will do those. One of the things that they asked after is how much material do I have? Do you have 10 minutes? That's sort of a normal starting point and I don't have 10 minutes. That last open mic was about six minutes. I'm working on something. I'm making a lot of progress really quickly and it's very exciting. What's happened today in particular is that I realized that I can't I'm not at the point in stand-up where, like I'll get fulfillment by making jokes about like airplanes Phase I'm in of stand-up is stand-up as free therapy where I have poison. We all have just poison, and I use this to figure out what the poison is, what I think, get it out, just get it out of me, and then figure out a way to make it something I can perform. I got sent a video of Ocho Sco, who is an NFL receiver, beautiful black man, and he's on the Stephen A Smith podcast talking about how he was with a girl and she said go deeper. And his peepee couldn't go any deeper. And this, this video, is beyond funny. But this man and then he admits, ochoo cinco admits that he got corrective surgeries because he doesn't want to be embarrassed wearing a speedo, but he said something after he goes look I, I don't have anything to hide and steven, a smith was just looking at him in abject horror and shock. Anyway, ocho cinco's raw honesty and openness was jaw-dropping and, frankly, inspiring, and it's inspiring me, to be honest, not about my dick, that's not the issue, although if someone knows Ocho Cinco's doctor, please share the number.

Speaker 1:

Something else what the deeper issue is that I'm the poison, if you will, that that I'm struggling with in life. I'm feeling pretty lost in my life. This is there, seems to be this like deep conflict I have between wanting to like go on meditation, silent retreats where I where I've gone and felt profound peace, just meditating, letting go, wanting to go on spiritual adventures. And then there's the other side, which is just the crushing stress of life and keeping my kids nurtured, educated, fed and clean, keeping my relationships with my wife and my family and my friends nurtured, keeping my acting career going. I differentiate between living, which is kind of this act of just like errands, surviving, like yeah, we're just living, like all this stuff washing dishes, and then this idea of life, which I consider this very sacred thing. It's flippant to say midlife crisis, but it's a profound and and common thing, the best way I can say it. It's almost like I feel like I am living the wants and desires of someone who is no longer around.

Speaker 1:

Like, ultimately, I got into, I decided to become an actor. It just seemed pretty straightforward. Like I left Brown for New York and tried to make it. But now, almost 25 years later, I'm still on that wave. I'm still out at sea, like paddling around on the surfboard, I'm floating and I'm wondering like wait, should I be going to shore? Not that I even want to stop acting, but the industry has changed so much. The money's not what it used to be, the projects are fewer and farther between. So I feel like I'm on the precipice of this big change, but I'm still lost. I'm lost and I really want stand up to help me work through that lostness.

Speaker 1:

One of the things that is a premise that we're going to on today is is the expo this profound draw I have towards spirituality. But as much as I study and meditate and teach, in many ways I'm just becoming more aware of what a complete and total degenerate I am and and how flawed I am and how just I don't have my shit together At the moment. The placeholder is people think mindfulness makes you more enlightened. No, it just makes you fully aware of what a disaster you are. And then I'll get into the laughs. But let's open up the hood, all right. So here we are. Now we kind of have these four premises that have been arising through almost like a therapy session.

Speaker 1:

I recorded a phone conversation I had with a mentor of mine, an older wise man, and it's always extremely deep. He's a very deep man, he has a lot to say and I can tell him kind of anything. I sometimes avoid conversations with him because I know they're going to be heavy, but what's really fascinating and has been swirling around in my mind is that the deeper something is, that, the deeper something is that, the more profound it is to you and true to you, the more potential there is for comedy. I took the transcript of, I got permission, I recorded my conversation, which is essentially a therapy conversation, and then I plugged it into my trusty AI. It's a 40 minute conversation. There's a lot there and I did all the edits and I got it really tight so it knows exactly who was saying what. And then I asked it to kind of well, I originally wanted to just ask it to help me sort through stuff, almost like like a, like a really good therapist would like showing you, giving you insights, distilling some of your thoughts, giving you more clarity, words, framing your problems and, in more precise language. Actually, actually, it was a very serious conversation. I said is there anything in here that has comedic potential? And it was wild, it was crazy what it busted out, which I'll share with you right now.

Speaker 1:

So there were four premises that I thought I'm going to explore that came out of this 40-minute conversation. There was one where came out of this 40 minute conversation. There was one where Jim asked me what would I do if I couldn't act, and I talked about how I was sort of envying like the tree trimmers who just chainsaw the fallen trees around my neighborhood, or these electricians who came in to fix a socket that had gone out in our house, and I was just like I was envious of not only like the nine to five job where you're like cruising around, you're out in the world, you're, you're working with the physical world, you're not up in your head, and I was. I was just sort of telling him that I I wonder sometimes if I'm just gonna retire to some rural area and become an electrician or something. And then Claude, the AI was like your envy of electricians and trades people is rich comedy territory.

Speaker 1:

You could explore the irony of spending years trying to be special in hollywood only to find yourself jealous of guys who just actually fix things. The bit could contrast the fake problems of entertainment, like my character's motivation isn't clear, with real problems, like Like my house is on literally on fire. There's something there. There's another one which I ended up really exploring, which is religious experiences in modern life, and that's the contrast between having profound spiritual experiences and then coming home to take out garbage cans and just losing my shit. I had a story, which I'll figure out how to tell this In a comedic way, but it was as close as I have come to Jack Nicholson and the Shining In my six years in Maine.

Speaker 1:

It was like pulling my garbage cans A quarter mile through like heavy snow and just being so angry about it, like totally unreasonably raging like I was, like I completely lost my mind and no one was around. I was just fuming. And then I get, I get home, I'm trying to tire the anger out, like I'm pulling these things and I say I'm not gonna stop. I basically wanted to like die on the ground after pulling them. And then I get inside I still have all this rage and I drink a glass of orange juice and it all goes away. It's just like perfect mood again. So it's like the realization that I think I'm having this existential crisis, but really I'm just a fucking toddler that needed some juice. I need some juice juice and that's a rich experience, because there's so much of that at this stage of life.

Speaker 1:

Just like and I think it's one of the downfalls of of sort of going into spiritual stuff is that everything becomes, I don't know, like, like meaningful, you know, and, and sometimes your blood sugar just plummets and you just pissed and that's it and there's no other nothing else to it. Um, anyway, those are a couple. There was some more that I that that might be there, but those were the two that. So then I, I put a little pin in the electrician thing. Um, well, that could be good material for Maine, you know, maine centric material. Um, but then I, then I said I instructed the AI to ask me questions. I said I want to do this spirit, this trying to figure out this, the balance between spiritual life and and and this premise of of there's this battle between the kind of aspirations for becoming an enlightened being who's like just wide open, like a Dalai Lama, versus the reality, boots on the ground, which is that I'm a mess and there's no way I'm ever going to become the Dalai Lama.

Speaker 1:

And so we leaned into this shining snow rage moment and the AI started asking me questions. It said, when you say you lost it in the snow, what specifically were you doing? Were you yelling, throwing things? Paint me the physical picture of what someone would have seen if they were watching and I wrote I was screaming like Jack does in the main at the end of the movie Guttural animal screams cursing myself and my life. It was so tiring as it's like a quarter mile trek out to the street. But I was. I was trying to tire out the rage as if the rage was a beast to be slain by pure exhaustion. And it didn't work. I got home and I was still pissed, and then I had some food and was fine. It was literally just a sugar crash like a hungry toddler. Um, and then.

Speaker 1:

And then it asks what's the contrast between this moment and how you present yourself in the meditation sessions? What kind of things do you typically say when leading meditation? And I said in meditation I literally just try to get people to open their hearts and love themselves and each other and love every single thing that arises in them, whether it's pleasant or unpleasant. And I'm still and I use a sort of a quiet voice. And then it asked before the snow incident, had there been other moments where your spiritual persona and your rage? I love the AI is calling it rage persona, my rage persona clashed. Any funny instances of trying to be Zen and failing miserably. Um, but it really liked the, the, the computer really liked the hungry, hungry toddler. Comparison Um, do you see any other parallels between your spiritual journey and toddler behavior? I thought that was a good um question.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I did a very sort of non-comedic thing about anger, like it's it's not bad or something to suppress, it's just a problem when it's directed at others and it's when it's used to harm others, but ultimately is very energizing and can bring you to skillful action, as I say, and deep realizations about all sorts of things your boundaries, your wounds and ultimately, anger is almost always a response to being hurt or being afraid. And then it really like the. I had talked about this idea of um watching my son who this idea of my son will like bump his head or his shoulder on a door frame and like slow play his revenge. He'll be like and then he'll go back into the tool closet and like grab a hammer and then like, come back to the door and start like talking to the door and being like threatening the door and and really just like this door is alive. My son is 11. You know this isn't a tiny child. He's just like door, you're gonna get fucked. Now you're, you made your mistake and obviously the door has never moved. This is 100 my son's fault.

Speaker 1:

And I try not to laugh when I watch this and I'm, and I'm, charmed by it. I'm sometimes, but I'm looking at it like, oh, look at this young child learning how to process his anger. And then, three or four hours later, I'm like stacking wood, you know, and a piece of wood falls on my hand and without irony and with just awareness of the rage, but nothing else, I take the piece of wood and I start bashing it against other wood and I end up taking an axe and being like you're gonna be kindling bitch and I just like take out my anger on the wood. Point. Being my son and I, there's no difference, except that I'm it's way more pathetic because I'm 46 and he's 11. And that's how we kind of found this idea of what would my life be like if I didn't do all this meditation and stuff. And you can never answer that, but I, but I think I would. I think it's helped a lot and being a better parent, and I think it's helped a lot and being a better parent and, uh, friend, husband, just awareness, etc. Um, but then I was like I don't know.

Speaker 1:

And then we kind of I came up with this thing like oh yeah, mindfulness, my the doubt that maybe all this awareness is doesn't mean jack squat, like all your awareness is getting you is just being aware of what a dick you are, and that really like was like a cracking open of something and I got real. The heart started going pitter patter and I was like so then we started getting questions like what's the most ridiculous realization you've had while being mindful, like a moment where you're fully aware of how absurd you're being, but you're still doing it anyway. And um, and that's where you know, fully aware of how absurd you're being, but you're still doing it anyway, and that's where you know. It was like it sort of burst out all the things that I've been thinking about, that I even have done, like that you can be mindful while snorting cocaine. And so we started to use that idea of like progression and trying to get things moving, building I did a bunch of different options for sort of mindful of dark things. You know, maybe it's mindfully playing powerball, gambling, playing ripping a cigarette, just any vice really. That that's true. To me it's that, it's that combination of the sacred and the profane together, and then we kind of figured out like, okay, let's do this as a, let's do this as a meditation, much like I did mindfulness of cocaine.

Speaker 1:

Already that episode, if you haven't seen that episode, you'll see it. Mindfulness of cocaine. Maybe it's like episode 11. I did it on christmas, good lord, but anyway, um so. So this is basically all that has led to this, and this is all in a day, and so I'm I'm excited, I think there's something here. I'm going to test it out in an open mic, so I'll think it's funny, I'll go and it probably won't get that many laughs at certain times, but something will.

Speaker 1:

And then we'll keep, we'll keep working on it, and I think that's once we have a premise that's hot. Let's say that's got the tickle, like we got. You got to stick with it, you got to mine it. You know, you can't, you, you, you gotta, you gotta stick with what feels the best. And then, and don't just keep searching for the next shiny object, let's, let's wring it dry, and so, um. So we had a bunch of premises. Like you know, mindfulness doesn't work or all it makes you is aware of, and then we had you know you can be mindful about anything mindfully bad series, let's call it then, this sort of inanimate object rage.

Speaker 1:

Um, there was another thing of just like you know, you come back from a silent retreat for seven days and, like for four hours you're just like, oh yeah, I'm amazing, I'm so present with my kids. This is like magic. And then, like you know, something happens and you're like, oh no, and then you go back to being a fucking asshole. Yeah, so we started playing with like, we started playing with how to set it up, you know. And then I got on my feet and I did a thing. A lot of times you write it and then you're like it's, this doesn't feel natural coming out of my mouth.

Speaker 1:

But, um, yeah, we had a thing of like, we were looking for the contrast, like what's the most zen thing I say in a meditation session and what's the most unzen thing you do? That I've done while being completely aware of doing it and though that's where the that's the engine for this particular bit. So something I'll say in a, in a meditation I'm leading, is like, oh, let's, you know, dissolve your awareness into a cloud of boundaryless space, letting all sensations, thoughts and feelings arise and fall away like waves in the ocean. And then I'll take my son's nunchuck and beat a couch pillow with it 50 to 60 times, while pretending the pillow is my mom. No, I'm just kidding mom, and I've never done that. I'm just saying, you know, pretending the pillow is, you know my enemy. Um, as you breathe in, gently note breathing in. And as you breathe out gently note breathing out cover the breath in this way, with your attention, mindfully pressing your boner into your wife's side to let you know, let her know that you're ready to party.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, so then we basically built, we tried to do a build up. So there were four kind of situations that are true and relatable. One is like paying attention to your kids when they're telling you the plot of a movie. Pretend you know white knuckling, the listening, when you really, really, really don't already know the plot. First of all. Second of all, they're completely torturing the plot and you're just having to look at them and act like you actually care. So that's a good, it feels like a relatable moment. And then the moment of like telling your kids you're doing work on your phone, but you're really like placing a $3 parlay bed on DraftKings. That feels like a relatable moment for parents. And then, as you build it, you can maybe go the emotion like the nunchucks, build that into it, and then finally, of course, my favorite, which is this idea of mindfully doing cocaine. So, without further ado, here is my set after all this work, and then we'll finish up, okay.

Speaker 1:

Okay, let's find a position that's both comfortable and alert. Take a few deep, cleansing breaths, dissolving into a cloud of boundless awareness, letting sounds, sensations, thoughts and feelings arise and fall away like waves on the sea. That's a really lovely way how I start my weekly meditation sessions, and I think most of my class would be surprised to know what I'm actually like in my house, because I am mindful, but I'm just mindful of what a disaster I am. So this is how I bring peaceful awareness to a lot of the moments of my life. Life let's bring, david.

Speaker 1:

Bring loving awareness to the sound of your child's voice becoming more and more distant as you imagine life without them and you feel the relief and peace that emerges with thoughts of a silent house, as your child describes each character from Moana. Observe the growing certainty that you were never meant to be a parent. Mindfulness of sports you know, I'm super aware of sports and my love of it. Gently notice the excitement arising as you hide your phone under the dinner table and feel the pitter-patter of your heart as you place your seventh $3 parlay of the day. Let awareness rest on the gentle tap-t taparoo of your finger placing bets and notice how skillfully you've learned to nod at your children while studying the point spread of the Celtics-Mavericks game, while studying the point spread of Israeli soccer leagues.

Speaker 1:

I don't know there's something funnier there Mindfulness of emotional processing. Let's bring that's how you know, whenever I feel a deep, you know painful emotion, I just am aware let's bring gentle awareness to the satisfying whoosh of your son's nunchuck through the air. As you hammer the pillow, notice the sophisticated way your mind transforms this pottery barn. Throw pillow into the face of people who have wronged you. Pottery barn, throw pillow into the face of people who have wronged you. And finally, when I'm prepping a party, a really fun party at the house, I'm mindful the entire time bringing awareness to the sacred geometry of cocaine powder. Let gratitude arise for the Colombian farmers who made this moment possible and notice the ever so subtle rationalization that because you paid for it, you deserve the biggest line.

Speaker 1:

Hey, we made it to the end of another episode. Yay, honestly, if you're here at the end, you really are my comedy buddy and I. We made it to the end of another episode. Yay, honestly, if you're here at the end, you really are my comedy buddy, and I've said it before, send me your jokes. The door is open. I love it. I've been collaborating with a couple people. It's so fun and, you know, I've introduced some new premises.

Speaker 1:

If this sparks some ideas, reach out to me on Instagram, at startingstanduppod, at gmail or text me if you've got my number. I love it. I love it. I want more comedy buddies. I'm so alone. I'm so alone. Also, if anyone you think would resonate with this material, we kind of went from soup to nuts here. We kind of went. We did a complete episode under the hood and if you think someone would find that fascinating especially if you know people getting into comedy or people who are maybe thinking about trying something, uh, maybe they'd find value from this if you think they'd find value, go ahead and share or rate it, leave a review, do those sort of things that everyone asks for like and subscribe. Man, good lord, it's like baby's first words these days. Thank you so much for being here. I wish you so much love, so much peace, so much adventure and, of course, just beautiful, beautiful, life-changing, earth-shattering venery until next thursday. Bye, thank you.