Starting Standup in Maine with David Walton

#29 My New Joke and a Comic Perspective Exercise

• David Walton • Season 1 • Episode 29

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David tries out a new joke about everyone being a liar and then does some comic perspective exercises that reveal he probably has a drug problem.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Starting Stand-Up Podcast. I am David Walton. If you're listening, you are. Now I'm gonna call you a starting standee. You are a starting standee whether you like it or not.

Speaker 1:

So I've been gone from home and back in Maine after four weeks away almost maybe three and a half and it feels so good to be home. If you've listened to previous episodes, there was a potential for a new, very exciting acting job and I'm very, very disappointed to say that I did not get it. It is the life you sign up for. It was extremely nerve wracking waiting for the news and your life can change it just in a millisecond and then it doesn't and then you just go back. It's a very weird profession. There was almost relief that it was that. There's just the waiting, the wondering. It's like a week of wondering and imagining and trying not to imagine and all this sort of mental gymnastics to just be okay with whatever and ultimately an SNL guy named Taron Killam won the part and I wish death and destruction on Taron and everyone he knows. No, that's not true at all. You don't really know why they happen, but you have to believe that when doors close, others open. Taron did lose his house in the fire, and so I'm happy that he's got a job. This is not an acting podcast, but I did mention it and it was hanging out there, so I want to close that book. So let's get to stand-up Now.

Speaker 1:

I've done two interviews in a row, which is pretty darn cool. I love them. So I'm filling the pipeline and I'm going to get as many as I can get cooking. I really love talking to people. This is what I've learned. I'm going to keep this episode short. I've gone into the chest.

Speaker 1:

I found a joke that I want to craft. I got inspired by Kevin Christie, who was my last interview. What a heater of an interview. The sound was a little off so I re-uploaded it. He is so mesmerizing. I listened to the whole thing again. I couldn't stop. So if you haven't heard the Kevin Christie interview, I strongly encourage you to go and play that. What a fascinating man. I love him and he brought so much heat and funny and insight and original ideas. So just come for go get a ride in Kevin Christie's brain.

Speaker 1:

But today we are. I got a joke I'm going to work on quickly, and then I did an exercise from a book called the Comic Toolbox and that's it. Please enjoy. Oh man, that's rubbish. That's rubbish. Hey man, how's it going? Good, yeah, yeah, I'm always just so amused by how much we all lie.

Speaker 1:

You, you know Like you lie. Everybody's lying constantly and we don't even know it, we don't even realize it. I mean, even just greeting somebody, you know it starts right at the top. It's like how's it going? I'm good man, how you doing? Oh man, I'm great. It's like no, you're not. You're definitely not. I could see in your eyes that you are miserable, you are suffering.

Speaker 1:

I always imagine like what it would be like if everybody just just laid it out, you know, but didn't, didn't need to get into it. You know what I mean. For example, it's like be like hey, how's it going, man At the gym, or something. It's like hey, how's it going, man, good man, good man. Think about getting a divorce. How are you doing? It's like I'm good, I'm good. You know, wife and I haven't had sex in four years, but we probably will again. All right, you take care, have a good workout, cause. Really, the problem is you don't. If the problem with personal information is that you just don't want to get into it, the overshare, that's what makes it so uncomfortable. It's like I don't, I don't want to be burdened. And now you're going to think that we have a special relationship. But if everybody just laid it out on the table with, without having any expectation of you reciprocating or or being emotionally involved, I wonder what that would be like. Let me try it. Hi, man, what's going on? Yeah, dad just died. How are you Good? Good, yeah, my mom just died. $1.46 is your change. Have a good one, man.

Speaker 1:

I'm reading an amazing book by John Vorhaus called the Comic Toolbox how to be funny even if you're not, and it is really, really, really good. So recommended by my friend, max Ritchie. But this book has been taking me through some exercises and I want to share a few of these exercises because they're so helpful and I think, if whatever, I don't need to tell you why it's interesting. If you're listening, you're going to find it interesting or you're not, and if you don't, then you can go fuck yourself, all right.

Speaker 1:

So one of the cool things is that he breaks down what makes things funny, and, uh, there's a lot of thoughts on that and I'm not going to get into all of it, but the big thing that I'm going to read to you because it's so important, is that, basically, if you want to make something funny, you got to invent characters. You got to invest them with strong comic perspectives and flaws in humanity, exaggerate those attributes, then turn those creatures loose upon the world. If you want to be more consistently funny, start building a library of comic perspectives and start noticing how almost every joke or funny situation you encounter is a function of someone's comic perspective. Now, this is a joke, as a husband said to his wife. I can think for myself, can't I dear? The husband's strong comic perspective is clear. The decision of the wife is final. That's his perspective. His flaws in humanity are implied. He's meek and yet loyal to the woman he loves.

Speaker 1:

And then it goes on to what is my comedic perspective? How do I look at the world in a way that is unique, exaggerated and at far variance from normal reality. And then I made a list and I'm going to read them out loud. I'm going to review them to see if any of them are ripping. I also feel like I'm going to vomit, and so that's challenging for me. Right now. I have a deep, deep problem with my gut. I don't know what's going on. I'm in a lot of physical pain and you'll see that, from my comedic perspective, that's obviously influencing it. So here's a list. From my comedic perspective, that's obviously influencing it. So here's a list.

Speaker 1:

One is just people are too scared to say what they really think. I like to help them say what they really think. Everyone is so much more sexual when they let on so much more perverted People saying fuck it and doing dumb shit is hilarious. Life is pointless. So you might as well have a fucking blast and just say what you mean. Life's a bitch and then you die. So let's just get fucked up.

Speaker 1:

Um, every new thing is the key to happiness. This is like my constantly chasing the little trick that's going to finally make my life work, and it's the you know, following everyone's advice, kind of thing. Yeah, happiness is just around the corner, if I can just find the key. Drugs and alcohol are the key to happiness. Life is not precious. You're just a gnat in the universe, so just don't take anything seriously. Money is an illusion and you just make your whole life about it, but it's a stupid thing to make your life about.

Speaker 1:

People are terrible and selfish. They're just pretending not to be. Gratitude and positivity are fake. Everyone is so much more miserable than they. Let on, stop acting like you aren't. The point of life is to get laid and cuddle and laugh and not be homeless. Selfishness is good. People are terrifying and what they think of me is terrifying, so I better have them think well of me.

Speaker 1:

People's opinions are the most important thing in my life, or the most important thing in life. That's a comedic perspective, because it's the opposite of what we're always told. Don't care what other people think, do what you want. The key to happiness is drugging and fucking. That's sort of the rock star comedic perspective. Hating your wife is the best thing that can happen to you, because you have to learn how to love someone that you hate. Same with your kids. I'm just teasing, of course, but that's the exaggerated. You're exaggerating an opinion. And then you have a funny character. Life isn't precious. Yeah, again, your soul has been around for infinity and will be around for infinity. So just relax, man. I can skydive without a parachute. Uh, that's a comedic character.

Speaker 1:

The earth doesn't give a fuck what we do to it. It's giving no fucks. So like, save the earth? Shit is just. The earth is perfectly content being plasma or being frozen. It's got billions of years to evolve new, exciting creatures. It's on a whole other time frame. So we humans, I know we're trying to save it and go for it. I mean, I'm not against trying to save it, but acting like the earth cares is pretty stupid. Life is pain and the never ending quest for relief, so you might as well relieve it properly with hard drugs.

Speaker 1:

Another comedic perspective of a character is like I have no idea who I am and so I can be convinced of almost anything. That's sort of the impressionable man. Oh yeah, oh, intermittent fasting, that's the way to go. Yeah, I'm doing it tomorrow. Uh, women are sex objects first and humans second. That is a comedic character. Everybody relax. Um, you just got to balance that dude out with some humanity, which is that he's dying to fall in love. He doesn't know why he can't. Well, it's part of your. You need to shift your perspective, bro. Kids are annoying, need machines and should be paid much less attention to. That's a comedic perspective.

Speaker 1:

Here's one that I kind of riffed on. I am pissed to be alive. Here's one that I kind of riffed on I am pissed to be alive. I saw this whole thing in spiritual life, where it's like you know, when you're enlightened you're just like this purely blissed out non-carnal being, and when you die, sometimes you reincarnate, but other times there's just spirits up there, just blissed out, and I'm just. I'm just so pissed that I, my soul, chose to come down to a body and like learn.

Speaker 1:

I don't want to learn what emergency diarrhea under the 101 in LA feels like. I don't want to. I don't want to learn what staring at the ceiling hating myself for snorting another rail of blow is like. I don't want to learn what it's like to worry about AIDS after bear dicking a Norwegian au pair on the side of the road. I don't want to learn what it's like to worry about my kids dying or my son turning into a crackhead. I don't want to learn what it's like. And then the only thing I'm really psyched for is motorboating and just getting lost in a woman's body. So that was sort of my little writings today. Let me know if any of those things feel funny to you. Write me Startingstanduppod at gmailcom. Bye now. Thank you.