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Starting Standup in Maine with David Walton
This is an audio journal of actor, David Walton (Fired Up, New Girl, About a Boy, Bad Moms, Power:Ghost) as he builds a standup comedy set in public with the help of comedians and friends. New episodes every Thursday.
Starting Standup in Maine with David Walton
#47 Bradley Cooper Humbled Me + TRT Side Effects (Yes, Titties)
I rewatched A Star Is Born and had to eat my words: for years I thought “I could’ve played those roles,” then Cooper drops a triple-threat and I’m like—nope. We get into why acting drunk is hard, Vince Vaughn worship, and my delusional Hangover-era confidence.
Meanwhile, a frank TRT update: more energy, weird cravings, and yes—titties. DIM, white mushrooms, carrot salad, Florida peptides, headaches, and how “not giving a f*ck” can quietly torpedo your life if you let it.
Also: Trader Joe’s culty checkout vibes, boarding school apps, the kid monoculture, accents I should retire, and a quick riff on gratitude/God.
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A Star is Born twice I saw I hadn't seen it since it came out. For those haven't seen it. Um, that stars Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper. He wrote and directed it, or he directed it and as a co-writing credit and I loved it. I mean it's just an excellent movie. Lady Gaga's wonderful Cooper, again, again, is just kind of doing the thing.
Speaker 1:If you were to pull any actor growing up in the 90s what their dream career would be, they're lying if they didn't say it's Bradley Cooper's, because the guy, you know he was sort of a heartthrob guy but then and out. You know I think he had a failed pilot for fox, called kitchen confidential I think it was based on the book and then he did, uh, wedding crashers and clearly he got to the point where his intelligence and the seriousness of his pursuit and his acting abilities were starting to get known. And when he did the Jennifer this is why I need someone when he did Silver Linings playbook, that's when I go, oh fuck, he's doing what I want and you think he's just going to be like one of these actors who's really good, he just loves acting. And then then he busts out Star is Born. And I was mad when he was in the Hangover I was like because we were sort of a similar type where I was like I felt like this is, I'm perfectly capable of being roasted for this, but I felt like I could have done a better job in the Hangover, being sort of funny in that role.
Speaker 1:I didn't think Cooper was very funny. I think he's a good actor, but I remember watching the Hangover and being upset that I couldn't watch Vince Vaughn in that role. Being Vince Vaughn who, just as a sidebar, I think Vince Vaughn is the genius of our day. When he's doing his thing, I don't think there's anyone who can touch him. As far as original comedy, I'm my. My favorite modern day comic actors are Vince and Ben Stiller. They just get me.
Speaker 1:They just fucking crush me and but Vince, when Swingers came out, there was such a sort of buzz among my generation because it was this low budget movie that was obviously pulled off. It was so good and we were in college about. You know, in the actor circles you were like starting to be like, okay, what's the next step for me? Am I going to go be an actor? And then swingers comes out and you're like, fuck, yeah, I'm going to be an actor, I'm going to make swingers.
Speaker 1:Um, but Vince Vaughn was, was a force of nature in swingers. I mean, no one had ever seen anything like that. There was no character like that, the fast talking, just total original phrasing, great energy, lunatic. There. I had never seen anything like it. It was mesmerizing. So anyway, we go, and so sort of Bradley Cooper comes along and you kind of catch sight of him in Wedding Crashers and you're like, yeah, he's pretty good douchebag, but I could be a better douchebag than him. And then, and then hangover comes out and you're like, yeah, I could have done better than him, fuck. And then silver linings playbook comes out and you're like, fuck man, that movie is so good and he does a great job. And you're like I think I could have done that.
Speaker 1:I think I could have been you know, amazing script, amazing director. Yeah, yeah, I could have done that. And then star is born and you're amazing script, amazing director, yeah, yeah, I could have done that.
Speaker 1:And then star is born and you're like I can't, I couldn't have done that. It's written, directed and starred in kind of playing off this alcoholic and he's really yeah, he's just very good at being drunk. You know really hard to do act drunk. I remember in acting school no one can pull off, you know everyone. It's no one. You don't. You never buy it and it may be easier on film but yeah, just that there was never. There wasn't a false note and it probably helps that you know he's a recovering alcoholic. Bradley is so you, you know he had some good sense memory there. But yeah, I mean he crushes it and the directing is fantastic and the I screened it for my 13 year old daughter. I was like, oh shit, she hasn't seen this she's going to love.
Speaker 1:A star is born and sure enough she did. She just did. She did start drawing and procreate with the movie in a little bubble on her ipad during the second act and I actually it's kind of interesting as a test audience because yeah, there's a little bit of a drag, like when he's at rehab. She's just like, and then she was still drawing when he's about to commit suicide. Oh, spoiler alert. But I was like cecilia, stop drawing, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then she's like he's dead and you're like jesus christ, I think, my kid. You know it's hard not to have the standards, uh, to lower your standards for your kids, like I think I was a pretty dumb 13 year old. You know, like I didn't. I didn't not that this is dumb, but I didn't know what sushi was. I never even heard of it. I didn't. I didn't know what sushi was until I went to brown and you know this is late.
Speaker 1:This is 2000 and I didn't know what sushi was and never had it growing up. Boston big family, I think there was just so many kids, we never many kids. The only place we went out to eat was this place, charlie's or Seven Star Mandarin. So we would go to this sort of pub in the mall named Charlie's Not there anymore. We would go to Seven Star Mandarin where they would kick people out when they saw us coming because we were table for nine. My big family, we kick people out for you.
Speaker 2:We kick people out for you, oh, mr Walton. We kick my big family. We kick people out for you. We kick people out for you, oh, mr walton. We kick people out for you. One minute table ready, extra duck saw I mean that sounds racist.
Speaker 1:But that's literally what he sounded like, literally just doing an impersonation, and you can ask any of my friends.
Speaker 2:That's exactly what it sounded like oh, mr walton, welcome, welcome, we love you, we kick a people out for you.
Speaker 1:Right, this way it's nine people just fucking destroying poopoo bladders, duck sauce flying around, my dad just quiet adding up the bills, just anticipating the shitty chinese food. It going to cost them about $380. So much fucking duck sauce. You know it's just a mechanism to get more duck sauce in your system. Just the blue flames for the poo-poo platters. I miss those. You don't see many of those anymore. Yeah.
Speaker 2:We kick a people out for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean it's. I didn't know sushi Because it's like when do you go for table for nine for sushi? I mean sushi, when did sushi really start taking off? Yeah, but that I'm going to have, I'm going to put an imaginary co-host here. I couldn't get in touch with Tegan I'm. When did sushi come big for you? 2005. Yeah, that's what I thought. 2005, yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah, right, when it hit my lips that soy sauce and a nice little shrimp tempura roll, that was my first sushi ever and I was hooked. That was my favorite food On a deserted island. For lunch, I'm having sushi and for dinner you know what I'm having. I'm having probably Indian food, maybe not Cheeseburgers, probably cheeseburgers. I get sick of that after a while. Feels starts to feel heavy. Yeah, probably stick with japanese food.
Speaker 2:Yeah we kick people out for you.
Speaker 1:I do, uh, I do love an asian accent. I mean that sounds super. I just sort of like a bad neither chinese or japanese Japanese.
Speaker 2:What's up, bro? How you doing, man. Hey, what's your favorite you're on? If you're on a deserted island, what food would you want? What's up, man? How you doing, brother. What food would you like on the island? What food? What food would you like on the island? Oh, what food would you like on island? Oh, what food would you like on island?
Speaker 1:I'm not your babysitter 18. What's your favorite number? That's the only thing I can say with an Aussie accent. Hey, what's your favorite number? 18.
Speaker 2:What other accents?
Speaker 3:are there? Yeah, was he a funny looking fella? Uh-huh, sure, yeah, you got it. Uh, oh yeah, we've been playing pond hockey for some time now. We usually have a couple cold ones and then play a little bit on the pond and then, oh, the other day, my buddy bobby uh, caught a puck right under his visor. He's got a shiner there. Yeah, cut him up real bad hey man, what's going on?
Speaker 2:what's your name? Boy boy, how you doing, boy, hey boy, if you can't listen, you can feel it's a nice abusive southern man.
Speaker 1:Now what else can I do?
Speaker 2:yeah, that's, that's gut. Would you like me to shit on your chest? Would you like to? Would you like? Would you? What is your name? And would you like me to shit on your chest? Sprechen Sie an der Chest, would you like me? Would you like me to sh to spreche an der Chest Und spreche Und feces Und love the feces and give me feces or give me that. Viva la Mexico the machine is the la moira. What's your name, daddy?
Speaker 3:is he rich?
Speaker 2:is he rich like me? Is he rich? Is he rich like me?
Speaker 1:What do you think I should do? Where do you want this podcast to go? I'm looking for listener feedback. Finally, I gotta send out a survey, or do I just do something that I enjoy? You know what would I enjoy?
Speaker 1:I feel this resistance to talking to people. I want it to all be about me. You know, let's look at an old journal. Oh wow, this is my old character stuff. I'm so disappointed. I think I know what's weirdly happened. I just want to talk a little bit. Who's that? My daughter interrupted.
Speaker 1:We're filling out applications where she's considering going to boarding school like her old man, and so we're going to go this fall. And we're filling out applications where she's considering going to boarding school like her old man, and so we're going to go this fall and we're going to look at places and she's going to fill out applications and stuff. And because of the nature of public school education in Maine, I'm actually really, whether she goes to boarding school or not, I'm really excited about the process because it's just hard and she's going to have to really reflect, figure out who she is, what she really likes. She's going to have to do uncomfortable things like go to interviews. She's going to experience new places. She's going to imagine herself and she's going to learn things about herself and she may learn that she doesn't want to go, but she's going to have to study and take the SSAT she's going to. You know, if she gets a shitty score, she's just going to have to eat it Like, oh shit, I just I suck at standardized tests. There's so much almost coddling nowadays. You know grade inflation, et cetera. I just want my kids to get just as cold water in the face. You know, just be like on paper you are 100% mediocre, maybe even below that, I don't, and maybe not, maybe she'll, maybe she'll crush the SSATs. I don't know she's. She is pretty book smart, street smart, really dumb, but book smart you. You know she's doing well in school, but some of the shit she says I I can't even say it out here. I I won't, I won't say it, but just yeah, just no understanding of the world. You know both my kids.
Speaker 1:It's sort of like maine is this incredible place because there's a there's sort of a simple, pure life here, but then again, with all this online stuff and what's available to kids, now there's sort of this monoculture for middle school kids or any age kids, like everyone's watching the same psychotic youtube videos, the same algorithmic brain melt. You know they all now know how to do makeup and how to look good in the fashion styles. It's like it used to be. You could go to like New Hampshire in the nineties and just see teased out bangs and just like a completely different operation. And now it seems like everybody just knows they can still choose a group, you can still have goth and you can still have not giving a fuck kids. There's just so much more of the knowledge of fashion and the sharing that it seems almost more of a monoculture now than it ever was.
Speaker 1:Like you talk to a nail person who's been doing nails for 30 years and have them tell you how many more you know. Fifth, sixth, seventh grade girls are getting regular manicures in blue-collar towns. Like what? When did this happen? Am I just an idiot, dad? This is nuts. And don't even get me started on the skincare industrial complex. I mean, is anyone going to say something that if you just lollied up a $4 jar of coconut oil on your face every day, instead of the thousands of dollars over the course of a given year or two, that your skin would look exactly the same, maybe even better just lollying up some coconut oil three dollars on the on the aisle at trader trader yos, trader mings I love how trader joe's will will change the second name for whatever cuisine it is. I love that.
Speaker 1:I should probably do some things about Trader Joe's. I haven't been there in a while. I used to love it. But I will say the checkout people at Trader Joe's are annoying. I mean, they're just so cheery and they're just. It feels like you're in a cult or something. There's something off there, like way too positive, way too enthusiastic about what I'm buying. Anyway, take a couple aspirin. I should give you an update. I should give an update on my testosterone and Wolverine stack.
Speaker 1:I'm injecting myself nightly the last three weeks or so, definitely feeling a difference. There's a bit, there's more energy. I'm noticing do you ever get? You know, when you're hungover and you haven't slept much and you give so many less fucks about what you put in your body and you're just kind of this craving machine where you're almost considering having a beer at 8 in the morning or you just want to keep it going. There's sort of a craving for more. That's what I'm noticing on the tea. I'm just craving things. I am starting to get a little bit healthier. We're getting back in gear, which is my normal rhythm of fall.
Speaker 1:I sort of find a new dietary philosophy and I just go all in on it Done carnivore, vegan, rapy I did the all sugar. As you know, that's not technically what it is, but I'm circling a couple ideas right now. You drink your own urine and what you eat is based on your own feces. So you take pictures of your feces and then you upload it and then this app will tell you what to eat is based on your own feces. So you take pictures of your feces and then you upload it and then this app will tell you what to eat next. That is all false. I'm just riffing here. I got you, did I get you? No, I'm not drinking my own urine, but you know whole foods and not stressing too much. But it's time to get my ass in gear.
Speaker 1:I will say, because of my elbow injury and because of my foot, I have not been lifting weights and so whatever pectoral gains I had, you know where you had some pecs going and I was starting to bench more than I ever had in my life. You know, getting up into the 195 five times kind of range, which is a lot and probably contributed to my elbow Getting up into the 195 five times kind of range, which is a lot and probably contributed to my elbow. But I did notice about a week or two into my tea that my pecs were starting to really turn into titties and like B cup titties, to the point where my son goes, dad, you have boobs. And I was like, haha, you're a funny boy, get out of this bed, you're not welcome here ever again. But no, I said, yeah, no, I do.
Speaker 1:And then I was like, no, no, whoa, I do. And then I looked it up and it turns out that because you're jacking yourself full of hormones and these are moderate amounts, 100 milligrams a week, 250 milligram doses, just sort of a slow buildup of tea, of testosterone replacement therapy, I looked it up and sure enough your body kind of is like I don't know what this tea is, maybe I should make more estrogen and then you can grow titties, and I don't like that. If a close Howard Stern fan would know what I was saying there I was imitating. I don't like that. A close Howard Stern fan would know what I was saying there I was imitating.
Speaker 1:I don't like titties, and so what I ended up doing was starting to take this stuff called DIM, which is cruciferous vegetables. This is like a pill form where it's basically the equivalent of eating like 40 pounds of cruciferous vegetables, because that can ease your estrogen. And I do have a bunch of other mechanisms for easing off the estrogen. White button mushrooms, evidently, are helpful for that. Carrot salad with coconut oil and salt can also have some anti-estrogenic effects. This is not a dietary podcast, but it's certainly turning into one, and I thank you for being here Now. So the titties are there. The titties are real, I'm not going to lie. So it's time to get back in the gym and to try to. You know, at least if you're going to have fat titties, you better have muscle too. And you know those guys who've got big pecs but they've got a lot of fat around them, and I may just have to be that guy. You know what I mean. I may, just that's going to be who I am, so that's good. The other thing is I'm injecting myself every night with the Wolverine peptide stack, which is a sort of gray area. You get it from a compounding pharmacy in Florida. Need I say anymore? And this stuff a couple weeks in and not noticing much except kind of a persistent headache, which could be the tea as well. But I got to get. I got to find out what that is. Evidently, some of these peptides create new blood vessels and stuff. They help just heal by getting more blood flow going everywhere, and so maybe that's, I'm getting more blood vessels, so I'm getting more pressure in my head. Anyway, this is all to say. The testosterone there's less energy dipping. It's not some magical elixir where I feel like a new person, but yeah, there's definitely a sense of I'm actually calmer, I'm able to handle stressful situations better, and so I'm into it. We'll see how it goes. But yeah, I just wanted to give you the update that we're and TRT, I would say four to eight weeks in is when you really start to evidently feel the effects. So we'll keep our eye on that.
Speaker 1:Anyway, but what I really wanted to talk about is this idea of not giving fucks, and in a weird way, for my whole life I've given very many fucks about what people think of me, and that can be helpful because you're in tune, I'm generally a people pleaser. I like to make people happy. I don't like bad energy being thrown in my way. I don't like it when people hate me, so that's why I'm like kind of mesmerized by someone like Donald Trump, who can just like sit in the pocket and be loathed by millions of people and just not give a fuck. There's something there. He's obviously getting adored by many people, but I think we can all agree that people who seem to just spit it out and not care about the vitriol that's being thrown their way is a pretty mesmerizing thing to watch and there's probably some envy there, because we all or most people, I know just want more of giving less fucks. We feel like it's getting in the way of either pursuing a dream because we don't want to be ridiculed or we won't be deemed as bad, or feeling important. Of course, a lot of resistance.
Speaker 1:When I was doing this podcast initially, I just opened my journal and it's like I'm just wigging out about how to launch this thing just profound resistance, and you can see it in these first episodes like I'm just like ah. And then you do it and you realize like jesus man, you were overthinking this thing. First of all, no one gives a fuck. And second, uh it, whatever you do, it's not going to be what you thought it was going to be. I mean, look look at this, this whole episode, what the hell am I even doing? This isn't about stand-up right now, but in a weird way it is because, like I said when I, when I speak this way to you and I feel like we've created this relationship uh, things come out that wouldn't normally come out and play conversation or even with anyone I know. So you're like, you're like my secret friend that I can talk about things with, and that opens up the gateways for areas for the stand-up stage.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, the thing I again want to talk about is this thing of not giving any fucks, and I can feel it. I can feel myself giving less fucks about what people think. I think this podcast helps because you realize you don't really care anymore. You care less. You've said all this stuff that you think gives you a tickle of like I don't know if I should have said that and then you're met with just a deafening silence, and so you're like well, obviously I'm just talking to myself in my office, like no one cares. So there's almost a momentum, like a snowball rolling down a mountain, where you start saying what's on your mind a little bit more. No one cares, and then so you're like, oh, I guess I don't care as much about what people think, and then, but that can lead and basically it's dangerous is what I'm trying to say. It's being, I feel, I feel like I'm in a dangerous place where it's bleeding into just not caring about looks or presentation.
Speaker 1:I mean I just went to a school, 6th grade open house, and I think I looked homeless. I mean my hair was a complete disaster Overly tight tee with my titties, like I should have worn a bra. Tight tee with my titties, like I should have worn a bra. I think my midriff, my, my, my spare tire was hanging out and I was wearing a work jacket. That that was a wrap gift from power. Ghost star.
Speaker 1:Show that no one in scarborough is no one has seen, but it kind of looked like. I just looked like a weird tennis player who's like also a tree trimmer or like a forester, and then I'm wearing these absurd you know the shoes, and my friend Max had pitched this as a stand-up bit. But just like the fact that it's now becoming the norm for everyone to look like they're the pimp, and I'm going to get you sucka With the size of the fucking soles on these running shoes like the hokas, and I got a pair of these for my plantar fasciitis and it's making me like six, seven. I'm so tall now I'm just towering over people and I'm not a, you know, I'm not like Shaq, so I look like I don't think it's a good look.
Speaker 1:And again, don't give a fuck. And so I guess you know there's that famous book, the subtle art of not giving a fuck, by Mark Manson, which is a great book, and I would add, the follow-up is like the subtle art of not giving a fuck can lead to the subtle, subtle art of torpedoing your entire life because you don't give a fuck. And so the the darkness starts to creep out. The bad wolf no, I don't think any of this makes sense that's what I thought.
Speaker 1:Sorry, sorry about that. Anyway, maybe giving fucks is important. I mean, really, what it is is we're trying to give fucks for the thing, the right things. You want to give a fuck About your kids. You want to give a fuck about your friends and your family. You want to give a fuck about your community and you want to give a fuck about your country and the planet. What you don't want to give a fuck about is what people are judging you for, what people are criticizing you for. Well, even that, you want to take the criticism, you want to know what's going on, but you don't want to give a fuck of basically what people think of you.
Speaker 1:And that's really my point is, now that I'm giving less fucks about what people think of me, I'm becoming a disgusting slob, titty fat. Disgusting slob who's just going to have raging tea and like you know what if all of a sudden smash cut in a year? I'm just like beating off in a movie theater parking lot for like a matinee showing of, like a cartoon. I'm just off the rails. There's so much tea that I have to beat off five, six times a day just to maintain any kind of sanity. We'll keep you guys up to date. Make sure we stay on top of that. You guys want to see some of my journal notes Just give you an idea.
Speaker 1:So we're like 48 episodes in and this was my steps to do this. Stand up. Step one create trailer. What is the show? Work on it, spend one week writing, rewriting, then record and get it right, and I remember doing this. I labored so much over the trailer of this how to make it short or how to make it succinct. I got to re-record it because the trailer should be what it actually is. I think I need to re-record it because the trailer should be what it actually is. I think I need to re-record the first episode.
Speaker 1:The Start here episode, which is Insider Trading, is the number one most listened to episode. People still so people will discover the show and most people when they start a podcast are like I don't know what I've missed. I don't want to. There's a resistance to coming in in the middle of something. There's an episode called start here and they'll play it, and so that's the one that gets played consistently and the the whole episode, I think, is me doing a voice with a with the box cart box car child and then talking about a kind of a rambling story about me wanting to me hiding the clown to get laid, and while that was true at the time and I felt like I was really speaking my truth, if I'm being honest, that's my. That's not the truth anymore. I'm not I'm not really being a clown, I'm not being I'm not being clowny. Maybe it was that. I just wanted to figure out you. You just want to figure out who you are, who you are really, and have the freedom to have an art form where you can just speak and you don't have to worry about anyone else and speak whatever truth you are. In that moment, those truths change and the truth now is fuck, I got no idea what's coming. This box of chocolates, life man, very, very exciting, scary. I'm going to end with something a little different.
Speaker 1:I found this on Twitter, now known as X. It was retweeted by Joe Hudson, who's Sam Altman, the founder of OpenAI, so very famous billionaire. It's his executive coach, joe Hudson. I did a course with him that was all about kind of emotional intelligence. It's called Art of Accomplishment. It was Joe Hudson's kind of principles of how to be a leader and how to function in the world and how to lead with love was essentially what you find out that Joe's all about in every setting, so in work environments, etc. And joe retweeted this and it's a.
Speaker 1:It's based on this idea of like, loving god, right. So I I always have hated the word god. I hate it less. Now I don't hate it. I'm meaning I felt awkward saying it because I'm not a never been a believer in like a white bearded guy in the sky.
Speaker 1:God always has felt like.
Speaker 1:You know this profound mystery.
Speaker 1:We all talk about it.
Speaker 1:We all make fun of football players when they like recover a fumble and they're like I just want to thank Jesus for you know, giving, helping me recover that football. And you're like you think Jesus gives a fuck about you and your football dude. And you know, we've all been there, made fun of those speeches probably, but in a weird way, as I get older, I'm starting to understand them more, not just more like I completely understand what these people are coming from. Now you know there's people who Jesus is God and I get it. That's not my bag.
Speaker 1:However, I think Jesus was an incredibly lit man with an amazing message and most likely has been wildly misinterpreted. If you're a fucking asshole who is intolerant. If you have any intolerance, even the slightest vibration of intolerance, for other religions or other humans, race, creed, anything, anything, then you're fucking it up. But anyway, I'm gonna end starting stand up with a new this thing that I think will help. It really answered the question that I've very, very I've pondered for an incredibly long time is if the purpose of life is to find and love god, whatever that may may be, whatever you define it as, how do you do?
Speaker 1:that. How do you do that if you don't even know what God is? And this is what this man, Jesse Poojee, on X, shared and I'll share it with you. Right now he's at J-S-Poo-G with two J's J-S-P-U-J-J-I. On Twitter he goes what does it mean to love God? I would say, Jesse, thank you. I've thought about this a lot and I don't know what it means. Please tell me.
Speaker 1:Well, in Sikhism, we believe everything is one and God is this formless energy, with no fear and no hate, that permeates and pervades all things. So God is your wife, the grass, even the breath you take. It is life itself, the life energy, the consciousness that allows each of us to be alive. So what does it mean to love God? I think it's the same as love life. What would happen if you treated your spouse, nature, your breath, like the divine? This is why gratitude is so powerful. Whether you believe it or not, it's energy and attention towards appreciating life. So gratitude is the act of loving God.
Speaker 1:On that note, I would like to thank you for being here. I really appreciate your ears and your loyalty to this podcast. I also want to thank the creators of Twisted Wave, my audio software that makes making this podcast so simple. I also want to thank Buzzsprout making this podcast so simple. I also want to thank Buzzsprout, where I post this podcast, and I want to thank just tonight everyone who has ever made me laugh, including all the famous comedians, my friends, family and the birds, the chickens and how they just look so stupid with their heads bobbing up and down.
Speaker 1:I am a huge fan of chickens and ducks, how ducks just cruise around, Especially white ducks Just waddling around. They are hilarious. I want to give my thanks to those and we'll see you next week. If you enjoyed this podcast, Found it useful or found it horrifying or fun, the way you can support it Is by keeping it a secret. Don't say anything, Don't heart. It can support it is by keeping it a secret. Don't say anything, don't heart it, don't subscribe, don't share it with any friends, because then it will never make money and it will never grow.