Faith in Parents
The Faith in Parents podcast is all about helping families raise children for Jesus. On this stream, you’ll find episodes for parents, presented by Ed and Amy, that cover all the issues we think are important today. We’re not trying to give you the answers, but a few starting points. We hope and pray you’ll be inspired to give it a go. Every family can.
Faith in Parents
Looking to God #1 | Deepening our children's confident dependence in God with David McKie
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Join us for the wisdom of a world expert on mental health in children and young people! Decades and decades of experience, study and learning brought to you for your encouragement.
Join Ed and Amy in hearing the simplest of steps from Dr David McKie to make the great strides in improving your child's mental wellbeing... Sleep, food and exercise are where it starts. And then listen out for the big news, 'Both of their ears are working for 10 minutes each day'. Don't leave early because you need to find out how your child can 'open the most amazing doorway they will ever have in their life.'
'The Lord will keep you from all harm- he will watch over your life' Psalm 121
David McKie is married to Gill and they have two adult children. They have worshipped at St Paul’s Cheam for over 25 years where David is a lay preacher. David is an NHS consultant child psychologist and has worked with children, young people and families for over 40 years. David’s passion is the spiritual and emotional wellbeing of all children.
You can watch the 6th May webinar mentioned by Ed in this episode here.
Links:
Looking to God: Mental Wellbeing in the Psalms
Helping every child's mental wellbeing webinar with David McKie
Check out Faith in Kids
With kids that I'm working with today versus kids that perhaps 30 years ago, there is more of an anxiety about the future and what might their future entail, good or bad, is to assure them that they are worshiping a God that's going to be interested in every single step that they take. They're going to be walking that journey alongside a sovereign and a living God rather than feeling like they're walking into this abyss of unknowns and not got a clue of where they might be and what they might be doing.
SPEAKER_01Hello, this is the Faith in Parents podcast. My name is Ed, I'm the Ministry Director. I've been working with children and families for 20 years. It's an absolute joy to be in your ears, maybe even in your eyes, if you're watching this on YouTube. Every time we do this podcast, we're trying to help parents walk through the everyday of life with Jesus as a companion, as their Lord and their guide. Who wouldn't want to be involved in that? And today it's a treat. We're being joined by David McKee, a friend of the podcast, who's talking us all about the good stuff of well-being for our children. Amy, do you think we need this?
SPEAKER_00Oh, totally. Totally. I think as Christian parents, um, we are not immune to life's challenges. In fact, we're we're we're ready and we're expectant of them because we know that we live in a broken world and that we are people that face struggles. So that we know that we need Jesus. Um, and I think that g puts us in a great place to know that we need help. And I think we need help in all kinds of ways. So we need help to um think, we need help to feel, we need help to love, we need help to live. Um, and so we're ready to say, there's loads of great help out there. We'd love to learn more about it. And that's what this series is all about. And David, this is something that you love doing. You love helping people think about thinking, you love helping people think about um life's challenges, and you're a Christian too, so tell us about you.
SPEAKER_02Well, thanks for asking me today. You know, it's a real I think it's a real privilege to be here, but also I think it's an enormous privilege to be involved in children's lives, whether in my case as a father, um working as a youth volunteer or professionally, to be in a chapter of a life of a young person, I just think is a huge privilege. Um so yeah, I am married, we've got two adult boys, 27 and 24, and I work in the NHS as a consultant child psychologist.
SPEAKER_00And I think you're going to help us as parents understand what we can learn from that in this conversation as we go along. Ed, you've got a very sensible question.
SPEAKER_01There is some element where everything just stays the same. Kids have always got happy, and kids have always got sad, and mum or dad have often listened and talked, and families have got through difficult times, and so to some degree, hurting families, hurting kids, sad kids, angry kids, frustrated kids, that's not new. That has not happened in the last 10 years. But we are hearing some words in the last 10, 20 years that are probably new. We're hearing a lot more words like anxiety, distress, trauma, mental well-being. So could you just help us work out? If as parents we find ourselves hearing new words, hearing new messages that weren't being said when we were kids or that long ago, has something actually changed? What what what is different?
SPEAKER_02Well, I think first and foremost, I think human beings and the nature of human beings, you're absolutely right, have not changed. We all have feelings, we all have desires, there's the biology behind human beings that will drive certain things. But I think what's changed, I think for for children especially, I think the world has become a more complex place for them to understand and find their place in it. So, and that could be that homes are busier, um, parents might be busier, there might be less time available for children to ask questions and try and understand things. I think probably the biggest change we've seen in the last 10 or 15 years is the introduction of smartphones and and social media, because then perhaps when you and I were at school, we could leave school, leave any problem behind, walk into a home that feels safe, and then we wake up the next day and then pick up things that may have then been left over from yesterday. That is just not possible at all for today's double-digit children if if they're on social media. And so for some, when they leave school, things don't stop, they continue. And for some children, that might be great because they might be involved in something online that's positive and and constructive, but for the vast majority of children that may not be the case. And they feel if I'm not a part of it, I'm getting left behind. If I'm not getting likes or shares, does that mean people don't like me? You're probably well aware that there's so much online that is not true, that people will depict things on social media to try and perhaps impress people or make them make their life look a bit more interesting in the next few years, and therefore, growing up in that world, trying to make sense of what's true and what's untrue, and how and where do I find my voice in this, and I think it's particularly hard for children that are neurodiverse, children that struggle um anyway with any with different forms of social communication, and therefore living in a world that suddenly has become 24 hours, and living in a world that's forever changing and and feeling as though you need to keep up with all that change is just exhausting. And therefore, we have children that are not sleeping properly, they're not eating properly, and if they're not sleeping, they can't learn as well as they should do. So it's uh it's a in one sense, it's the wrong phrase, but it's a perfect storm that children are going through where you then expect their well-being to then deteriorate. And just thankfully, governments around the world now are starting to ask questions, serious questions, about really, well, where does this go in the future?
SPEAKER_00So, David, I think we can all we can see uh what you're saying, it resonates with the kind of things that we're facing as parents, and I think as parents we kind of feel like another another layer because this is not a world we grew up in, and this is not a world we understand, so we feel a bit ill-equipped, so we can see the problem and we don't really know how to fix it. And I think you know, as you've said, it's complicated. I'm just thinking about the typical parent journey. So you start with your precious little child, and you think, I just want I just want to love them and I want to make their life easy and I want to protect them from harm. So you want to just snowplow everything out of the way for them to have this beautiful and happy life, and then as time goes on, you realise, oh, I can't do that because there's a lot of things outside of my control. So, you know, they come home sad and upset, or something doesn't go their way, or someone says something mean, and then you realise, oh, I need to equip them for life's challenges, so I need to help them be able to cope with when someone says something mean, it doesn't mean that that's true about you. So we like as parents, we sort of grow, but then it seems to then suddenly get dialed up massively that there's all these different messages coming from lots of places, and we don't perhaps know what to say and when to say it, and even understand what they're hearing because we don't hear it all. So, how do we then start to open up with our children, start to help them talk to us, and how do we engage with a lot of the things that are tools that help them look after themselves well? So we're hearing a lot of stuff from school about like looking after their well-being, about caring for themselves, about thinking these things through. And as Christian parents, like what do we embrace? What do we run with? What do we need to add?
SPEAKER_02Well, lots of questions in there. So let me just rewind back and cover some basics. I think putting technology aside for a second, as children, I think there's I think there's three important physical things that that are important. One is sleep, one is food, and one is exercise. So, and I know that wasn't woven into your question, but I think we need to just say that because anything that interferes with any of those three, in essence, is a threat to the healthy development of that child. So if social media, for example, is keeping them awake at night and they're not sleeping, then so that that's that as a child psychologist, then that's wrong. We should, then that should we shouldn't be letting our children have their sleep affected because they feel like they need to be on the phone till midnight or whatever. If they're driven by image and size and shape to the point where they're they've got an unhealthy relationship with food, to the point where they're they're not eating enough or they're eating too much or whatever, then again, it's a that's a threat to one of those three, and therefore we should be um we should be concerned. So I think that would be my first answer. But I think I think to dig just a little bit deeper, Ed was right earlier with there's things that haven't changed, and and and therefore if human nature is human nature, then what are the things that we should be looking out for? And for me, the bait I think for me, we as a society, I think have forgot some of the basics. So if a single-digit child is learning to talk openly with an adult, and and that could be a parent or caregiver, um, it could be a relative, but where there's a space for that child to feel like they're heard, feel like they're believed, listened to, and validated, if we instill that in our children as young as possible, and keep feeding that by as adults evidencing that we're interested in what's going on in their world, even as the years, the teenage years become perhaps more challenging for them and for parents, we've opened up a vehicle to improve communication. Doesn't mean there won't be any problems or challenges, doesn't mean there won't be any misunderstandings and tears at times, but it absolutely will make life for both the child and the parent or caregiver easier because that door for communication is open, because you don't want your child to come home fearful of something that's happened online and hide it from the parent, scared to say something to a parent, and then be mulling that over to the early hours of the morning, because sadly, that's what thousands of children are doing every day. They are kind of ruminating on things that really um they're too young to be thinking through, or it's not appropriate to be thinking about that stuff at uh at midnight or one in the morning. So for me, for me, it it is all about communicating, listening, validating, believing.
SPEAKER_01David, the wild encouragement in what you're saying is a world expert on this is telling us sleep, eat, run around a bit outside, and let your children tell you when everything's gone wrong. So I find that wildly encouraging because I'm thinking I can do that. So thank you, first of all, David, for keeping it at a level that makes us all think this is something we can win at. I always prefer to feel like a winner than a loser. A lot of what um y you have spoken about in the past is is about emotions and about them in some ways, first of all, helping us to understand what's going on, but secondly, perhaps being a gateway to understanding our children and helping them. Could could you just give us a starter with how do we make a start in helping our children with their emotions? Let's begin by they're God given.
SPEAKER_02So we're human beings and God has given us emotions and and they're fantastic. They've kept mankind alive for thousands of years, for millions of years. And therefore, they come with that um creative hand over, and we should enjoy them and we should celebrate them. And that includes some of the emotions that perhaps are harder to deal with because they're there for a reason. So I think first and foremost they're God given. But but I think what I've realized probably in the last 20 or 30 years is not every child and not every adult really understands emotionally what's going on in their world. So let me just briefly explain it three ways. So we use professionally, we use this phrase called emotional literacy, and simply put, that means I can label my emotions. So if I feel sad, I can say I'm feeling sad, and I can express that in words to somebody. Secondly, I can understand how you might affect me emotionally, so you might do something to upset me, and I know that it was Ed that said something that then upset me. So in my brain, I can join the two together. Thirdly, I know how I influence you emotionally. So if I say something nice to you and encouraging to you, and you smile and respond, then I've got some feedback from you that you enjoyed our interaction because emotionally I had an impact on you. Put those three together, we can call them emotional literacy, and you'd be shocked how many children are missing one, two, or three of those things, and adults as well. And therefore, if you're missing one or two of those, you are living in a foreign world, you don't understand what's going on, you don't understand. You might understand the words that are coming out of somebody's mouth, but when it's said with a certain tone or volume, when there's hands and expressions being used facially or whatever, that can then just go completely over the top of their head, and therefore they're living in a world that they don't understand, and then often that can then manifest in behavior that you and I might think is inappropriate, but they're expressing a behavior because the behavior they're trying to communicate something to you that they can't communicate with words, and so therefore, um so for parents, I think it'd be interesting for parents just to think about their children is there evidence that they can do all three? Now, single-digit girls would be more than capable of doing that. Maybe boys lag behind girls a little bit, but not always. But accept that some children will never get it. And therefore they're gonna need some help from you because if n if you don't help them, they'll struggle more and more through their teenage years living in this foreign world that they don't understand.
SPEAKER_00So, David, when do we panic? So we're now all thinking about our children and we're going one, two, three, ah, and um, all of these things. Uh, when do we panic? What do we do? Um, and how do we help them?
SPEAKER_02Well, I think one is don't panic. Because I I I knew you'd externally you're allowed to, but externally you're not.
SPEAKER_00Great.
SPEAKER_02Okay. So a bit like the swan.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02I think probably the biggest bit of advice I give parents where there is some struggling is if they if they know their child is struggling, one simple thing you can do is use a number system. Because I've met hundreds of kids where I'll say to them, but when your mom and dad is saying something, do you always really understand what they're trying to say? And they smile at me and say, No, I don't. Um, but they've not got the they've not got the maturity to say, Dad, I haven't got a clue what you've just said. So sometimes to help our children, we need to break it down and make it easier for them. So if you've so if your child has just done something amazing, um, so let's say little Susie's up in the playground and has fallen over, scuffed a knee, and Big Brother Johnny has helped her at school, and the teacher makes a comment. Now, of course, it'd be great to give Johnny some positive feedback, but if you then, if you were delighted with Johnny's behavior, turn it into a number out of ten. Johnny, I am so excited of what you did for Susie today, I'm happy at nine out of ten. Because a child who struggles with emotional literacy can understand that. If they've left wet towels on the floor and it's just you think it's not a battle I'm gonna fight, but I'm gonna remind Johnny that I've told you before, pick up the wet towels or your wet underwear or clothes or whatever. Then you might then just say, Well, look, I'm frustrated and it's a two out of ten. So I'm not really, really, really annoyed, but I'm annoyed. And over time, children will start to understand more because then they may say to you, Oh, Dad, I know you're upset with me. Is it a five out of ten? And then dad might laugh and say, 'Well, actually, no, it's not.' You're good to catch me to know that I'm frustrated, but honestly, it's only a two. And that just helps children that struggle in this space to try and understand what's going on. And even, and also, adults are very, very good at communicating emotions without saying the emotional words. So if a couple are having a conversation that have got emotional literacy, they're not going to say to you, well, look, I am so annoyed with you, because you might know they're annoyed by their tone of voice. But what I'm saying is, maybe parents also express in words their emotions, so the children start to hear that I'm raised, I'm being raised in a home where we use emotional words, and if necessary, we use numbers to scale them, so it helps children understand.
SPEAKER_00So, David, you've given us a sort of helpful way, helpful tools to think about how do we help our children understand our emotions, which in turn helps them to understand a bit of theirs. Um, one of the things that we're aware of, um, and that part of the the resources that we're putting together as a Faith in Kids team around the Psalms is about mental well-being and managing our own emotions well. So a lot of our children are hearing um great advice about how to help themselves feel calmer, different tools that they can use to, you know, calm themselves down, to be grateful that helps them think more positively, um, to, you know, list the notice the things around them, to move their bodies so that they feel better and it gives them that you know self-esteem lift. Our kids are hearing a lot of these things, um, and so many of them are good and they're so helpful. Um as a child psychologist yourself, are you delighted that these these general coping strategies are being taught? Are these good things for us to engage with?
SPEAKER_02If it works, yes, but with the exception that some things can work in the short term, but not in the long term. So, so perhaps I'll give you the maybe I'll start off with the worst example of that. So I was speaking to a couple of parents last year about their neurodiverse child, and when they come home from school, they were then allowed to then go on the games machine and play games. And the parent made the comment that seems to be the only way that the child can kind of decompress after a busy day at school, and that's right, and and I wouldn't question that the child. Can decompress with a game. As a child psychologist, I'd question if that's the best long-term solution. Because then what you're doing is inside the brain, you're joining a game machine with calming me down. If I'm honest, that's a dangerous road to go down, because the brain can then start becoming more addicted that the only way I can calm myself is to go on a games machine. So I think so I don't think there's any general answer, a sweeping answer for everything, because if you're helping a child and you can see it's improving communication, it's improving behavior, and there isn't a voice in your head thinking, but could this be, could this create some long-term negative effect, then of course we would then say that's a that's good because every child is different, but then I think we just need to have that voice in the back of our minds, just questioning, but are we doing something for the short-term gain, but creating some long-term pain?
SPEAKER_01Thank you, David. You work with young people with complex difficulties. And uh some of us at home might have such young people, and we're reassured that the things you're telling us, apparently, if you're saying it, then it's where we could all start, irrespective of where our children are at, what they're going through, how they're feeling their emotions. Thank you. Could you also just give us some skills for what all of us as parents could be doing? So you've started that with teaching our children about emotions. You've had a real impact on me just when you talk to me about listening. Could you just help us all out with that as parents? How could we be doing that better? What you know, why?
SPEAKER_02First, let me say that I believe strongly that every day a child's both a child's ears will be working for at least 10 minutes. Okay, so if you believe me, there's nothing scientific to say that, but I fundamentally believe it to be true if we are looking for the right signs. And as a parent, we should seize that 10 minutes and just ask them questions about how things are going. What have you done today? Um, you don't look as happy as you were yesterday. Is there anything wrong? So you look out for those moments where if both their ears are working, then there's your moment to just build some deeper relationships. And it's not your ticket to then say, right, I've got five issues with you. You keep leaving your wet clothes on the bathroom floor, you've not put the dishes in the dishwasher, yada yada yada. It's not your window to then have your five minutes of nag, it's your opportunity to just sit and listen. So, so let's expand that further. Listening is also about asking questions, and I I feel sadly that's something we're losing in society. Because asking a question, and I'm not suggesting it's a loaded question, but just asking a genuine question, means that I've just listened to what you've just said before me. It means that I'm trying to understand you more. Asking a good question is also making you think, making you think a bit broader, making you think a bit different. Um so keeping a curious mind and thinking about questions and hold back on making statements and giving advice. Yes, there might be times where we need to give our kids reassurance and give them some advice, but sometimes all kids want to do is be heard, be believed, be validated by someone that they love. And that's our job. Now, um, if we've kind of if we've moved into that space where they're now starting to realize that this adult, my parent, my mother, my father, is really now starting to properly listen and is really attentive in what I'm saying. And let's say you're to start that single digits, let's say you're to start that with a child at seven, eight, nine years old, that conversation's going to be age appropriate because they've only got a seven or eight-year-old brain. But if you keep doing that throughout their adolescence, you've opened up probably the most amazing doorway that they'll ever have in their life. Because now someone believes me and someone is listening to me. And of course, there'll be windows within all of that to shape their thinking, to steer them, because at the end of the day, they are children and they want, they need some advice. They need, you are the parent figure, and and in one sense, you're an authoritative figure in their life, and we shouldn't shy away from having authority when we need to kind of express that authority. But to me, that also comes with that sense of curious belief, validating, listening, that and it's not just children that need it, adults need it too. Um, you think the last time you sat down with someone for half an hour and all they did is listen to you, that's powerful.
SPEAKER_00Oh, David, it's the most powerful currency in the universe, isn't it?
SPEAKER_02Absolutely, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I just think when you think about like the different ways that that looks as parents, you're sitting down with your six-year-old building a duplo tower and saying, What was the best thing in your day? Or when they're sad and you're you say, you know, come and help me make a piece of toast. And can you what we're gonna put on it, and would you like to spread it on? And how thick are you gonna spread it? And like, as you're spreading the toast, you're saying, Why do you think they said that? And how did that make you feel? And what did you do about it? And that sort of jump to I want to fix it, and like I'm gonna let me just tell you what you should have done instead, and let me just tell you what I'm gonna do instead. And like I'm I'm swooping in as the superhero of the moment to like fix this problem. But if we can just learn to just take that little step back to try and say, you know, what are we learning? What can we see? What can we do? Because I now think, as a parent of teenagers, like as you've said, that those questions about why did you think that way, and why did they say that, and what about this? And think about it from another point of view. Like the hard work of are you sleeping and are you eating and are you playing, of like the toddler years that you just obsessed with like your child's routine is important because you needed those in place so that you could have the conversations in primary school so that you can like it's like God's designed parenting for a reason, and they need us all along the journey, David? Um, we've also tried to say um all of these things that we've talked about are often just like, how can we be good parents? How can we offer good support? Um and I think we'd love to add that next layer. Like, how can we as Christian parents, what's the extra thing that we offer? What's the extra thing that we say? What's what's the sort of fundamental building blocks behind um the support we're offering, the love we're offering that that we as Christians can do? Um how do we direct them to God in all of this? And that's partly why we've put together the resources that we've had. And like as you've said, our emotions, they're God given. We've chosen the Psalms because they're so rich in emotions. Um as a as a Christian, as a dad, as a psychologist, what's your relationship with the psalms? What do you see? How do you start to fit all of this together as a Christian too?
SPEAKER_02My answer will be in twofold, really. One is um, I think the psalms, I think I I first really properly bumped into the psalms probably in my late 20s when we had early 30s, when we had our second child, because um I'd actually lost my voice in my prayer life. I knew what I was feeling, but to just sit and pray I found hard because um he was 10 weeks prem and there was lots of things going on, and for the first time I used the psalms to speak for me, and it was just because prior to that I'd read the psalms, but probably more in a cerebral way than uh than allowing the psalms to speak for me. And also, secondly, I realized that that the psalms are in many ways an expression of emotion to God, but what I'd missed until then, so this is going back 25 years ago, what I'd missed is the psalms also are a reflection to myself. Oh my soul. There's so many references to oh my soul where where actually when I say I'd lost my voice, they then spoke for me to myself, and that's really a form of reflection, but also they spoke my feelings to God, and so that's how I see them. So I see both sides, both in terms of reflection and expression, and therefore, since then my engagement with the psalm then changed to being entirely different, rather than it being some kind of cerebral Bible study that I need to look at and study the psalm and think what's the application, I kind of learnt to then read them through an entirely different lens and just let the psalms speak for my emotions at the various things that I might be going through. Um, and if you think of children, for instance, and in some homes, it may be wrong or it may be discouraged to speak emotionally. If you think back to kind of Victoria, the the stereotypical Victorian parents, then emotions would have been then a kind of complete no-go that particularly for boys and young men, that you do not express yourself emotionally. Well, I think that is still true in some homes, that they are not emotionally expressive. And if they are Christian homes, then I I'd respectfully challenge that and say, well, why is that the case? Because I think part of our challenge today with children is we're not helping them express their emotions. And if there's and if they're confused emotionally, and we're encouraging them to express their emotions, we'd see some of that confusion earlier and be able to hopefully help earlier. Um, but if we if if it's a no-go, then we're kind of just suppressing something that God has given us, something that's good that God has given us. And we're almost suppressing something that God has designed for for our good.
SPEAKER_00I just I'm having a little giggle at the thought of the Victorian family Bible time when you're not allowed to talk about things. And then you open, I know, and then you you open Psalm 121 and go, Where does my health come from? And I'm having this terrible day, and then I lift my eyes and I see God's goodness, and they must have all gone, Well, that's a bit eek, isn't it? Let's not do any of that. Shut us again.
SPEAKER_02No, but again, but we can still do that today, though. I I can still read the Bible in a very cerebral way. Um, and I think sometimes that's right, but sometimes it's wrong.
SPEAKER_00God just doesn't think I've always been pretty rubbish at it, David. I think Psalm 91 kept me sane as a teenager, but there we are.
SPEAKER_01Let's do a case study, David. Okay? I'm gonna give you two verses of Psalm 121 where the psalm finishes, okay? And then I'm gonna tell you how could that be valuable to a young person in a difficult time, okay? So give give us um a lesson in doing it. David, here's what Psalm 121 finishes with. The Lord will keep you from all harm, he will watch over your life, the Lord will watch over your coming and going, both now and forevermore. How could it help, David?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think again, I think the child some of the children I work with are they have less and less understanding of where their life is going. Perhaps unlike my generation, that probably had more focus and more and more specific interest about where things might go. And therefore, with kids that I'm working with today versus kids that perhaps 30 years ago, there is more of an anxiety about the future than perhaps there was in a previous generation. And and my hope for those two verses is that um that a child would understand that God is interested in all of their life, all of the journeys that they're going to be going through, because his interest is not so much just in what they might achieve or do for him, they want they want to watch over their life in terms of what they might do for others, in blessing, so their plans might have things to do of blessing others, through so God uses them as a vehicle to bless others. Um, so I think my advice to uh if I was trying to talk about this verse to a child, um, particularly a child who's anxious about their future and what might their future entail, good or bad, um, is to assure them that they are worshiping a God that's going to be interested in every single step that they take, steps that they take that are wrong and God did not want them to take, steps that they take that are right, where God is almost stood at the side applauding them for the step that they took, but also steps that they might take for others, where they're taking a step to then help somebody else, in the hope that some of the anxiety that they face about the future, they're going to be walking that journey alongside a sovereign and a living God, rather than feeling like they're walking into this abyss of unknowns and not got a clue of where they might be and what they might be doing.
SPEAKER_00David, you make us feel karma. You make us which is great. You help us remember that like God is with us and for us. Uh, you really big up the role of us as parents, that we have so much to offer and so much we can do, and like I love that. Um, and the good news is we get more of you. We get more of you helping us think through some of this stuff. Um, we're we're gonna reconvene the three of us to talk about all these things, psalms and all these all these different questions on May the 6th. Um, and people are coming, they've already said they want to come and hear more chat, which we're not surprised by, and it'll be wonderful. Ed, tell us um tell us the details. How do we sign up for that? What is it again?
SPEAKER_01Well, go to the show notes, you'll find a link. We're all about the webinar live, the evening of May the 6th. It's not often we do a live one, and I'll be honest, it feels like taking my life in my own hands with David and Amy, but maybe you feel that way about me as well. But we're gonna be totally live, no chance of an editor. You're gonna get what we say May the 6th, it's looking to God, and it is, if you like, a webinar on these topics to also launch the series of resources we're doing, walking through the Psalms. And Psalm 121 is the first of the four, and there's so much good stuff coming along the way. Amy, have we got one final question before we go home?
SPEAKER_00I have. I want to ask David. So I'm I like to be the voice of the everyday mum. It's literally the job I was born to do. Um, so I'm just thinking you're the mum at home who's fight. So you're either the mum at home who's fighting over like routines and bedtimes and turning things off and give me the screen back and let's try and eat. And you're wondering, is this worth it? Am I fighting a losing battle? Should I just give up now? Or perhaps you're the mum of an older child, you've got to double digits land, and you're having to step back a little and you're seeing things happen that you think, how are we here? And uh, what do I do now? And is any of it worth it? Um, David, could you just walk us back a little from the cliff edge? Could you give us the encouragement that you need? What what one thing would you like to tell us?
SPEAKER_02I'd say this to every parent: find time in your week or your month to spend time one-on-one with your child. Phones down, they are the sole purpose of that little time together where you listen, you validate, you learn, you're curious. And what that does over time, when it is difficult, I think you'll feel more empowered to deal with some of those difficult times because that relationship, that deeper relationship, is being built in those one-on-ones throughout the month or throughout the the child's life. Um, so that would be my one piece of advice. I think every child on the planet should have 45 minutes a week just having the ability to talk to somebody uninterrupted who all they do is listen to them. And I think that would be so powerful. Now, maybe, maybe we're time, maybe we're we're time strapped in families. Um, but I think if that were the case, uh even wider relatives, there might be a grand, there might be an aunt or uncle or whatever, there might be somebody local, there might be somebody in your church that can just then spend some time sitting down once a week, once a month, or whatever, to just listen. So that would be that's my hope and prayer for every child, because we live in a world that is just too pressure, too pressurised, too busy, and I think we're forgetting to just listen to them and and support them.
SPEAKER_00And what I'm hearing, David, is let the ironing pile rise, leave the recycling in the bin. It doesn't really matter. Let the other things slide, focus on the conversation because there's always something else we could be doing. Exactly. But this is the most important thing we could be doing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Definitely. Amy, do you do ironing?
SPEAKER_00Uh no, but you know.
SPEAKER_01Okay, it's a hypothetical. It's a hypothetical.
SPEAKER_00I very occasionally, if we have to go to an important meeting or a wedding, I iron a shirt, but mostly I just shake and fold.
SPEAKER_01Okay, very good. I just wanted to clarify that. Okay. R iron has come out, I think, about two years ago last. Okay, good. David, it would be great if you could pray for parents. I'm always grateful. Uh, I always think if a world expert is telling me to listen for ten minutes every day and that's the best thing I can do, I leave thinking I can win at this. Thanks, David. Why don't you pray?
SPEAKER_02Father, let me first thank you for the privilege of chill having children in our lives that could be we're their parents, it could be that we're a relative, it could even be that they're in our church and we are a volunteer. But Lord, for every single one of them, Lord, I thank you for them. They are precious, they've been made by you, and they've been made in your image. And every single one of them, Lord, has the capacity to do amazing things for you. And Lord, while it's a great privilege, it's also a great responsibility. And therefore, Lord, I pray for patience. And wisdom and understanding as we navigate so many difficult things that they are going through, but we want to help them where we can to make life easier and help them learn life skills. But also, Lord, give us the characteristics, help us to mold our life on the Lord Jesus. So when they look to us, they see the Lord Jesus. When they look to us, they see the characteristics that the Lord Jesus wants us to embed within our lives. And Lord, we can do that with the help of the Holy Spirit. So we pray, Lord, that He would change us, not to be amazing parents, because perhaps there isn't such a thing as an amazing parent, but He will help us to become more like your Son, the Lord Jesus, and in doing so, our parenting will be more successful. It will feel more fruitful even through the challenging times. So thank you for the privilege, Lord. We we take the responsibility, I hope, very seriously. But Lord, we thank you that we've got you at our side and we've got the Holy Spirit inside us to help us whenever we feel out of depth, whenever we feel we're struggling, because above all, Lord, we want to point our children to you so that they will follow you as their Savior. And Lord, we want to emulate his life within our life. So we ask this in and through the name of our Lord Jesus. Amen.
SPEAKER_01Amen.
SPEAKER_00Amen.
SPEAKER_01David, we are extremely grateful. Thank you for your care. Thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for speaking slowly. It reassures me. Thanks for going at a pace I can keep up with. David, we're going to see you on May the 6th. If other people want to join the hundreds who have signed up in a slightly intimidating context, then please do join us on May the 6th. Go to the show notes or go to our website. If you find yourself wondering why have I not heard about this before, that's because you simply haven't registered on our website. If you register on our website, faithinkids.org, you'll get an email about once a month and you'll stay hot and excited by all that we're up to. Please do that. We'll join you next time. We're going to carry on on this jolly series looking at mental well being. Thanks so much, David. Say goodbye. Thank you. Bye bye.
SPEAKER_00Bye bye.
SPEAKER_01Bye bye.