Leave A Light On Podcast
Welcome to "Leave A Light On Podcast," the podcast that brings you inspiring stories of ordinary people overcoming extraordinary challenges in their lives. Join us as we delve into the lives of individuals from all walks of life, exploring the adversities they face and the resilience they demonstrate in overcoming them.
In each episode, we'll introduce you to a new guest—a parent, a teacher, a healthcare worker, a student, a veteran, or perhaps your neighbor next door. Through heartfelt interviews and candid conversations, we'll uncover the personal battles they've fought, whether it's overcoming illness, navigating through loss, breaking free from addiction, or facing societal barriers.
From tales of triumph over adversity to stories of perseverance in the face of hardship, "Leave a Light On Podcast" celebrates the human spirit and the strength found within each of us. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and most importantly, you'll be inspired by the resilience and determination of these everyday people who refuse to be defined by their struggles.
So, tune in and join us on this journey of hope, empowerment, and the celebration of the human spirit. Because in the end, it's the stories of everyday people that remind us all that we are capable of overcoming anything life throws our way.
Leave A Light On Podcast
Episode 2 - Resilience, Passion, and Purpose: Chev's Journey Through Mining, Music, and ADHD
What if your career could be the gateway to a fulfilling and adventurous life? In our latest episode of Leave a Light On Podcast, Cohost Chev Caukwell takes us on an emotional journey through his life and career in the mining industry. Influenced by his father's long-standing career in the field and driven by a desire for a well-paying job, Chev shares his early career choices, his life philosophy, and the importance of making the most out of every opportunity that comes his way.
Chev opens up about deeply personal experiences that have shaped his character and aspirations. From managing hyperactivity during his school years to the profound impact of his younger brother's tragic death, we explore the family dynamics and the resilience he's developed over time. He candidly discusses his journey with ADHD—from misdiagnosis and medication struggles to finding the right treatment—and how these experiences have moulded his determination and outlook on life.
This episode also ventures into his passions outside of work, particularly his love for music. Learn about his attempts to form a band, the joy and challenges of performing, and why he eventually shifted his focus to new interests like barbecue and podcasting. We also touch on the broader themes of navigating a child's autism and ADHD diagnosis, and the significance of empathy and support in recognizing the unique strengths of individuals with these conditions. This heartfelt conversation is a testament to the power of resilience, empathy, and finding purpose amid struggles.
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Hello and welcome to Leave a Light On Podcast, a show that looks to tackle the everyday struggles in our everyday lives. It's time to shed some light on it. Here's your hosts, Shane and Shiv.
Speaker 3:Yo, how's it? Welcome to Leave a Light On podcast. I am Shane, and with me my co-host, shiv. Hey, hey, legends, how's it going Good? Episode two Episode two Can you? Believe it.
Speaker 4:You're that cool. I love this thing You're unbelievable.
Speaker 3:This is great. Episode 2, shiv Congratulations, let's do it.
Speaker 4:You are such a child of that thing. Hey, this is the bloke in the background. He's getting right into it. Yeah, he is.
Speaker 3:I love it. I mean it pumps me up Like you cannot believe. Do it. Yeah, yeah, I love it. I mean it pumps me up like you cannot believe. Yeah, episode number two I'm really excited. Episode two I'm excited as well, and I'm more excited because this one's all about you oh yeah, I know, we all love fantastic I know.
Speaker 4:I know you most love it when it's all about you oh yeah, I don't mind the center of attention every now and then, yeah, but when I'm actually talking about my life and all that. So I was a little bit nervous a little bit. But yeah, feel free to ask me anything you want, I'm pretty open, I'm going to. Let's hook in. What do you reckon?
Speaker 3:It's really really good yeah, firstly welcome back.
Speaker 4:Yeah, definitely Welcome back to you, really keen to keep going with this, and the first episode was awesome and yeah, hopefully we can elaborate on that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, live Alive on Light, On podcast, as you said, yep, it's a little project that we've started, yep, just to create a little bit of hope and light into the world, and so it's an exciting venture for us.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, definitely exciting. I'm really looking forward to what we're talking about and, yeah, and where things are going to go, so yeah, so let's get into it.
Speaker 3:Shiv, Definitely let's go. Who is Chevy Corquell? Chevy Corkwell.
Speaker 4:So yeah, so Chevy. Yeah, I'm 34 years old. I work out in the mines, just a general blue-collared worker. Yeah, looks to have fun. And yeah, don't take life too seriously. That's for sure, that's awesome. That sounds like let's make a date, yeah.
Speaker 3:That's what it really sounds like. Oh, it's like a fairytale, no, it's make a date.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's what it really sounds like oh, it's like a fairy tale. No, it's definitely not. Think of our little background.
Speaker 3:It's definitely not 34, Shiv, yeah 34 years old.
Speaker 4:That's a good age. I'm about 12.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Don't take life seriously, because obviously if you do, you don't get out of life.
Speaker 3:So working and mining Shiv, tell us a little bit into that yeah.
Speaker 4:So, uh, I was about, um, I think I was about 19 or 20 um, I was looking for a career, all that sort of stuff. I had like different jobs when I was younger but I wanted something that paid a lot with, you know, not paid a lot, but just decent pay, that I was happy with. Mining industry just dragged me in because I knew they they paid really well, yeah, and just some of the jobs that I had in the mining industry were actually quite good as well. So that's sort of how I started, plus my old man. My old man was in the mines for 41 years. Jeez, yeah, 41 years as an operator yeah, yeah, so he was.
Speaker 4:I think he was about 18 or 19 when he first got his job. Yeah, and obviously, because it pays really well, he just stayed out there and yeah. So I thought, oh well, yeah, pretty much, go out there, make some coin, you know, and uh, yeah, have some fun while I'm doing it yeah, it's um from what I know.
Speaker 3:Obviously I've not joined you in the mining industry, I haven't been as long as you have, yeah, but uh, it's one of the top 10 most paid industries in Australia. Oh, there you go. Highest paid, should I say.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it wouldn't surprise me. Yeah, they get a lot of money.
Speaker 3:A lot of money, yeah, and it's really exciting in that aspect, obviously for people like you who obviously, like you're saying you want to support a suitable lifestyle.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I do Like I don't expect to be rich, because I really don't. I don't expect to be rich because I really don't. I don't want to be one of these really fake rich assholes. I don't want to be like that. I just want to make sure that I can provide for my family, keep my kids happy. I've got three kids, so two stepkids, and I've got my own daughter. Obviously, I just classify them as the whole three of them as mine, yep, and as long as they're clothed, fed, schooled, everything like that, I don't care. Yeah, I don't expect to be rich man, I just want to live comfortably At the end of the week, have a few beers, have a few laughs, without going. Oh no, I'm struggling to get to the following week.
Speaker 3:I don't want to be like that, yeah, so.
Speaker 4:I hate not having money Because that stresses me out, but at the end of the day I my way and my bills are paid I think in order to understand a little bit about who chev is today.
Speaker 3:Yep, let's go right back to mini chef.
Speaker 4:Mini chef, I mean, you're all mini as yeah, we have now anyway, but hey, I make it up for it in other places, yeah, in character. Yeah, I know I try not to say that, but but you know, everyone knows what I'm thinking. Yeah, so that's small man syndrome.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 4:So yeah, okay, so.
Speaker 3:Tell us about your childhood, Shiv.
Speaker 4:Yeah, okay. So I was born on the 26th of the 11th 1989. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 4:So in New South Wales and I, just from what I remember, I had not a bad childhood but I was very out of control. My mum was just mate. She was exhausted all the time with me, couldn't keep up. I was, honestly, I was full throttle, especially going to school, full throttle. I was just never in one place at one time. I was just like on the go all the time growing up and all that sort of stuff, especially through school. Teachers would just talk to my mum and just be like we can't handle him, he's out of control, he needs to be on medication. Yeah, seriously, I literally got kicked out of school. I tell you what I didn't get kicked out of school but the teachers actually pretty much said if you don't put him on medication, he's gone. Okay.
Speaker 3:We can't handle him. Yeah, so Did you. Did you have siblings?
Speaker 4:Yeah, I got one. Yeah, so I had my sister, but she's, I think we're eight years apart, and then Later on in life, so that was my mum and my stepdad had my sister. So she's, what is that? Half sister, half sister, yeah, yeah, half sister. Then my dad and my stepmum had my brother, but that wasn't until years later. I was about, I think well, he would have been this year, 18th of July. He would have been what's the date? What year are we in? 25. Okay, so he was born in 2000. So he would be 25 in. Um, yeah, so 25 years old.
Speaker 4:Okay, he was born in 2000 so yeah, I got three siblings all up, but yeah, unfortunately yeah at the age of 17, he passed away in a motorbike accident and, yeah, I was waiting for you to see if you were yeah, I mean I wasn't sure if there was a coming question for that.
Speaker 3:Or, if you wanted me to just jump into it, let's talk about, obviously, how that affected you.
Speaker 4:Oh, mate, I was a mess. I wasn't that bad. I found myself to be the rock a little bit, even though it affected me pretty badly. Were you close with your brother?
Speaker 3:Not as close as what I wanted to be okay, uh, because of the age difference, I think it was, he was 17.
Speaker 4:What was the age difference?
Speaker 4:so he was 17, uh, in 2017, and I would have been like 28, okay so about 10 years yeah, it's about 10 years, 10 or 12 years, without doing any close calculations, it's about 10 or about 12 years. Yeah, so we were very different in that aspect because obviously totally different generations. Yeah, so I would have liked to spend more time with him and I would have liked to hang out with him a lot more, but, as I said, like because of the age difference, it was very like he had his crowd of people, I had my mates and then whenever I would see my old man and my stepmom, like like I'd go out for dinner with them, but he would be obviously there as well. So I'd talk to him and do you know what I mean? So we'd still have our time together, but it just wasn't as much Tell us about.
Speaker 3:how did you find out?
Speaker 4:obviously, about his passing. So my old man rang me one day and I'm pretty sure it was my missus at the time, my ex-wife. She rang me up because I was downtown and she's like you need to get home pretty quick because your old man's trying to call you and I didn't have my phone on me, my phone I left at home because I was like I'm just ducking out of the shops. I'll be back if it's anything important, people just ring me, missus and whatever. So she rang me before sorry, We'll just ring me, missus and whatever. So she rang me before Sorry, I'll tell you why she didn't ring me because I left my phone. So what happens?
Speaker 4:When I got home, she said you need to ring your dad Because I noticed there was missed calls on my phone from my old man. It was about three or four and she's like you need to ring your dad because, yeah, something's going on. She didn't want to tell me. She wanted my old man to be the one. So she's like you need to talk to, yeah, your dad, pretty quick, he's trying to ring me, all that sort of stuff. So I rang him back straight away and he's literally man, he is in absolute hysterics.
Speaker 3:Have you ever had your dad show any emotion before this point? No, absolutely zero. So was it a shock? It was yeah.
Speaker 4:When he was crying on the phone. And anyone that knows my old man, who's listening to this right now and knows my old man, knows that he is as tough as an ox and he shows no emotion. Very old school man, very stern one of those people that's, like you know, very pride driven. Yeah, like you know, it doesn't show any that. So when I heard him crying on the phone, I'm like what the hell's going on here, like what's going on? And he pretty much broke the news and said your brother's just passed away. You need to get out to my house now.
Speaker 4:So I jumped in the car because it didn't hit me straight away. I'm thinking, ah, yeah, yeah, you know how stuff like that doesn't. Yeah, you would know. Yeah, shock, like yeah, you're just shocked. You don't really take it on board straight away. So when I got out there and everyone was out there, like my stepsisters, my stepmom, my aunties and uncles, everyone was out there I'm thinking, wow, and that's sort of when I see my old man, he comes straight up to me and hugged me and cried my arms. That's when it hit me Wow.
Speaker 4:When he actually come up to me and cried my arms and I was like, oh shit, okay, this is proper, real, proper real. So we went down because most of my family are from what the Hunter Valley type of area so, which is about from where I live is about an hour away from where they live. So we went to where they live to have like a bit of a gathering, obviously with all the family and all that sort of stuff. And one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my entire life, which I hope this upon no one, even my worst enemy I hope this doesn't happen to him but me, because my old man couldn't do it me, me step-mom and me three sisters, like step-sisters.
Speaker 4:We had to go and identify my brother in the morgue. Oh, wow, yeah, it was my like I'm obviously dealing with it now, like it's one of those things that you sort of learn to deal with and all that sort of stuff. But at the time, man, wow, that is one of the hardest things Seeing my brother lie in a hospital bed in the morgue. Man, I don't wish that upon my worst enemy, that's crazy. But I will admit that he looked clean and stuff. You know what I mean I thought he looked peaceful almost.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, I thought it was going to be Because I've never had to do that before in my life, so I thought it was Because he had a motorbike accident. I thought he's going to be like I don't mean to speak bad, but he's going to be like messed up type of thing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, almost Just yeah, almost just a bit yeah From the accident. Yeah, yeah, you know what?
Speaker 4:I mean, like, obviously I can't. This is why I'm glad to have you on board, because you can help me at least explain it. Yeah, but you know what I mean. Like I thought he might have been a bit messed up from the accident, but he actually looked really clean. Yeah, I don't know, it was just yeah Well, as you. So, yeah, but that was like growing up, but, as I said, wishing I had more time to spend with him. But I guess when people pass away, I think you always have that in your head.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:You know what I mean, where you go. Oh, I could have done this or I could have done that, yeah, even though me and him were worlds apart, 10, 12 years apart. It was one of those things where you're just like, oh well, I wish he was still here so I could still. But yeah, anyway, you get what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Yeah, sheesh. Okay, so that was 2017, you said 2017, yeah so he was born in 2000.
Speaker 4:So he was born on the 18th of July 2000, and died in 2017. Wow, so he actually died on the 16th of the 7th, so two days before his birthday 2017.
Speaker 3:Yeah, do you find, when it comes to that date now, that it's significant to you? Yes, okay, absolutely.
Speaker 4:So every time.
Speaker 3:Does it hit you harder on that date?
Speaker 4:No, okay, no, it doesn't, because it's gotten to the point where I'm just like, like it's done, like he's passed away, um, but I still, when it comes around to that date, I still remember, though you know what I mean. That makes sense, but it doesn't hit me hard. Yeah, it's one of those things I'm like ah, it's my brother's birthday, yeah, I've got to make sure I have a beer for him. Yeah, and every day depends if I'm working, or. But every time that date rocks around, always have half a dozen beers.
Speaker 3:Awesome, always. It's always nice to have a little something just to remember them. Yeah, of course, and I don't get smashed or anything.
Speaker 4:I don't get drunk or anything like that Half of that three, four beers.
Speaker 3:That's usually what I do. A little tribute is always good.
Speaker 4:And I always go. I don't sit at home and do it by myself, like on his birthday. I always go to the pub or something. I had three or four beers and maybe a bit of a pub feed. Good, yeah, just to say you know, this is for your brother. But yeah, my old man's very different. I think my old man and my stepmum have changed, and I don't think for the better, and I mean that in the fastest way possible, not in a bad way, but I don't know how it is to lose a kid. So I think before my brother went my dad and step-mom were different, but now that he's gone they're different again, if that makes sense, like totally, totally different.
Speaker 3:I don't think it's easy to process the loss of a loved one in any shape or form, especially if it's your child.
Speaker 4:Exactly, and we know how hard it is to lose a grandparent. Yeah, but I don't know about a mum or a dad or anything, but like a brother. Do you know what I mean? Like I was trying to say like, so losing a grandparent is one thing, but losing mum or dad or brother or sister, that'd be next level.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's a different kind of pain. Huh yeah, I next level.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's a different kind of pain. Huh, yeah, I think so. Yeah, so, especially to see my old man and the way he was.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's just not normal Shame man, because I've never. I can only imagine honestly.
Speaker 4:I've never seen my old man like that and, as I said to you, anyone that knows myesh, yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, okay, let's um, sorry to go, sorry to go top and heavy.
Speaker 3:No, sorry, no need to be sorry at all, like it's I'm just getting to know you and getting to understand you, which is great. Let's go back before this all happened, obviously back to the childhood. You were obviously saying you, you were a bit of a wild child you obviously had a few issues with teachers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, definitely let's elaborate on issues.
Speaker 3:What do you mean? Why you had issues with teachers.
Speaker 4:So I would do stuff like. So I was very hyperactive, so I would be like in class upsetting everyone, just having jokes. I was more like the class clown you still are. Yeah, I know, I know, I know it's terrible, isn't it? So I'd be upsetting everyone and carrying on. And I know it's terrible, isn't it? So I'd be upsetting everyone and carrying on.
Speaker 4:And I remember one day I was at school and I really didn't want to be there. I hated school, could not stand it, and I jumped out the classroom window and my nan used to live around the corner from the school, went to her house and I was like, yeah, nan, what's up, what's going on? She goes, hey, you meant to be at school. I'm like, yeah, nah, couldn't be bothered, done with it, so I just had enough. And that was before I was on medication. So she, yeah, just one little detail, but there's other stuff in there. But yeah, I was just like I was done with school. So I jumped out the window and went and seen Nan.
Speaker 4:Okay, yeah, I, just because you know what I mean, I just, and not just that. But I'd upset everyone else and you know I wouldn't swear or carry on or be bad in that sense. But I was just disruptive. Yeah, if that makes sense. I was just like I can't. I don't have the tension span to sit here and do book work. Yeah, it's doing my head in. So PE and music were my favourite subjects at school. Interesting, because I used to play bass in the band.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 4:So my passion grew for that. That's why music was one of my favorite subjects, and PE because the amount of energy I had, man yeah. I was like get out in the playground and just run around like an idiot. So I'd get out and we'd play lacrosse or soccer or football or whatever it may be, and I'd just burn off my energy there. Yeah, it was good. So PE was one of my favorites, wow.
Speaker 3:Okay, well, I'd love to delve more into that, especially the music side of things, but obviously in that statement there you mentioned medication. Yes, what medication were you on and why? Yeah?
Speaker 4:that's right. So the 17th of March 2000,. I think I was about 10, 11. That's when I got diagnosed. I went to Sydney to the neurologist Neurologist.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's one yeah these medical words are going to stuff me up. I got you, don't worry, I got you. So, uh, yeah. So we went to the neurologist in sydney and they said, oh, my mom's like, oh, he's got behavior issues, all this sort of stuff. Like you know, I'm not getting any sleep because I'm so exhausted. So they did all their tests and yada, yada, yada else, went through all the rigmarole. Then they said, yep, you've got ADHD. Yeah, that's why you're white and you're on the spectrum of autism. Okay. So they were like obviously there's certain things that trigger him.
Speaker 3:So yeah, so ADHD. What did that mean to you?
Speaker 4:So obviously, being that young, I had no idea. Yep, but as a kid's point of view, how I felt, I honestly thought there was a problem with me, okay, and I didn't cry or anything like that, but I was so worried.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Like when they were talking about putting me on medication, I'm like there's nothing wrong with me, I'm just a normal kid, like I'm not, I'm all right, I'm just like everyone else. But now that I'm older and I look back at that and it's just like medication was the best thing for me.
Speaker 3:Okay, so medication. Obviously, the general medication for ADHD is Ritalin.
Speaker 4:Yeah, didn't work, didn't work, didn't work. So it was terrible. So they put me on Ritalin. So with ADHD as well, it's one of those things that there's never been. There's never been, there's never an actual cause for it, the doctors from what I understand, the doctors always put it down as genes or lifestyle, or they don't really have a thing for it.
Speaker 3:So when you say there's no real cause for it, basically what you mean is there isn't one thing that you can pinpoint to say. This is the reason why you have it.
Speaker 4:That's what me and my mum got told so like lung cancer.
Speaker 3:you could be like well, it's because you smoke.
Speaker 4:Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 3:That's the cause of it. Yeah, exactly when when this is.
Speaker 4:As I said, this was 20 years ago, 20, 25 years ago, so there's probably something different now. But when we went, the doctors always said to us they said there is no real cure reason. Sorry for ADHD. It's one of those ones that's just either lifestyle or generic from your parents, from genes, stuff like that. So then there's only two things you can do for it. That they know of is obviously you can take for it. That they know of is like obviously with uh, you can take medication, yep, or you do like um psychotherapy or whatever it's called like. Yeah, yeah, you can do like different exercises or whatever. So, but they just put me because I was so young, I was only like 10 or 11. They put me on medication straight away because I was going through school and I was disrupting everyone. And well, it was never violent.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I was just upsetting everyone yeah so that's why they put me on that medication, uh, which is ritalin. But with me, uh, with adhd medication, it's one of those things that it's just personal thing, so ritalin didn't work for me. Where just say, for argument's sake, you had adhd, you took ritalin, might work for you. Yeah, just personal thing. So I end up getting on dexamphetamine, which is pretty much straight speed. Wow. So anyone like yourself would be off your tree. Yeah, that for me it's like taking a Valium, wow.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Okay, yeah, a hundred percent it is. It's so good. It is, I can imagine, yeah, I know I'm on the waiting list right now, which we'll dive into when you ask me more stuff, but yeah, I've got to get re-medicated.
Speaker 3:Okay, so, yeah, all right. So this obviously happened. 10, 11 years old, you got diagnosed with ADHD. Yeah, it was about 10. What changed after this?
Speaker 4:So it was really good I noticed. So if anyone out there listening has ever seen Spider-Man, yeah, yeah, the very first one, I think most people have seen Spider-Man yeah, the very first one where Flash fights Tobey Maguire. Yeah, yeah, flash, flash, okay, yeah, the bully at the school oh, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah so where Flash fights. What's Spider-Man's name? What's his name? Peter Parker, that's right. So if you've ever seen that scene where Flash goes to punch him in the back of the head, Yep.
Speaker 4:But then Peter Parker can see the punch coming. Old spidey senses, spidey senses. Yeah, I'm not saying the spidey senses You're a spidey senses.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, no, I'd start, no, I'd start.
Speaker 4:But when you take medication ADHD medication everything's slow motion. Okay, that's what I'm trying to say so if you've ever seen that, scene yeah, if you've ever seen that scene where he's fighting him and he's dodging the punches.
Speaker 4:It's like that it's literally everything just slows down and it feels like you can accomplish anything. Okay, that's what it feels like for me. Anyway. Everyone's different. Um, depends who's listening. Yeah, people might go, oh no, that's not how I feel, whatever. But everyone's different to me. Everything slows down and you concentrate. It's like having a crowd full of people Best way to describe crowd full of people and I'm talking like a big crowd full of people, everyone talking and everyone talking over top of each other. Yep, everyone getting louder and louder and louder because they can't. Yeah, you're talking too loud, he's talking too loud. So people are talking louder and louder because they can't. Yeah, you're talking too loud, he's talking too loud so people are talking louder and louder, yep.
Speaker 4:And then someone just turns down the volume, okay. Literally turns the volume down until you can't hear anything. Wow, that's what it sounds like, or that's what it's like in your head. It's a picture of the people talking Yep, that's what's in your head, okay, and then you turn the volume down Wow.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:So when you take your medication it's like you've just drowned everyone out. It's awesome, yeah.
Speaker 3:So for people who aren't kind of accustomed with ADHD, which I think majority of listeners will be, but we never know. We're not going to be ignorant in this. Yep, adhd, yep. Basically, I mean, you can correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I know, adhd is a hyperactivity disorder based on neurodevelopment, yep, and it obviously affects individuals' ability to focus either on one task or a particular task, to control impulses, like you said, and then also to regulate energy levels.
Speaker 3:So, like you say, you would just have these bursts of energy. Yeah, yeah, so that's kind of if you don't have an idea of what ADHD, that's what ADHD does. Yep, you've obviously now said, in taking your medication, it helped you focus on one thing. Yes, it did Slowed things down, so your energy levels were kind of a little bit more controlled you, but at school were the teachers more warm towards you. Did they start to say, hey, Shiv's really changed, like he's really trying.
Speaker 4:So when teacher-parent interviews come around, the teachers actually did say to my mum that he's like a totally different person, not in a bad way, but he's like listening, he's doing as he's told. He's not. Yeah, but because I was younger back in the day, I was like I don't want to take these Okay so you stopped taking your medication. Yeah, but mum would be like no, you've got to take it, I can't handle you Okay. I can't handle you, you're taking it.
Speaker 4:I don't think many kids out there like taking medication well I my purpose for not taking it like I did, because mum would force me to take it. But my purpose of not taking it was I was so insecure of what people would think about me taking medication. They thought I was like oh, the cheb's different, he's not. Like. Do you know what I mean? Like, and especially being that age, I think a lot of kids don't understand and they haven't got the brain capacity to understand that you know you're not a different, like you're not normal. Like you're not not normal, like you're all the same, but it's yeah, it's real hard. Like I think you become a target for bullying. That's what I was afraid of.
Speaker 3:Okay, interesting.
Speaker 4:Which, yeah, because that's why I didn't want to tell anyone that I was on medication, because I was worried and insecure.
Speaker 3:Okay, and let's fast forward a little bit. Yeah, what happened?
Speaker 4:Oh, yeah, when I was going through school not so much high school, but when I was going through like five year, six year yeah, right up until year seven, those real, fundamental ages of kind of discovering who you are. Exactly, I got shit kicked out of me, man, yeah, Like by bullies full on 100%. I would always get like belted up. I'd always like yeah.
Speaker 3:How did you handle that?
Speaker 4:Oh, great difficulty, Because I was. You know what I mean. Did you speak about it? No, no, no, definitely not. I wasn't. I'm not a dobber in any way, shape or form, so that sort of stuff I just keep to myself and just be like I'll be all right. I shrug it off because I'm not a person that. Oh no, I got bashed at school. I'm not one for doing that.
Speaker 4:I just go, I just push it to the side and be like tomorrow's another day, you'll be all right. But I did suffer from a lot of bullying, a lot of beatings at school until I got to about year eight year eight I just got a totally different attitude always changed in year eight. So it got to the point where I was getting older and I started getting this mental capacity. I was still on medication, all that, but I got to this, getting this, this capacity in my head, thinking, you know what? I'm just going to be the bad person. And they're not that mean in a bad way, I just mean like anyone that wants to, yeah, rip on me or try and have a go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, have a go at me.
Speaker 4:I'm just going to pretty much tell them to go job on okay, yeah, in other words, obviously, yeah. So I got this. Really I don't give a shit attitude, which is not a good thing, but going through my high school years it helped me out because it turned me a little bit into the person that people wanted to hang out with. Okay. So if that makes sense, yeah. Because I was like one of those people where I'm like, yeah, I don't care for you.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:You know, I don't care. Like I said, never violent, not a violent bone in my body. Yeah. Just my attitude changed and I was like yeah, so everyone was like oh, cheb's cool. Like he's just like doesn't give a shit about anything he's just happy to do whatever and I'm just like, hey, I don't care, yeah, I don't care whatever.
Speaker 3:Yeah, thank you where before I was not myself yeah so yeah do you think that was your attitude towards everything? Not, oh yeah, school, everything just didn't care didn't care everything.
Speaker 4:It changed my attitude altogether. You're 100% right, my attitude changed for everything. Okay, so yeah, which made it easier yeah, because I stopped getting my ass kicked and I stopped. You know what I mean?
Speaker 3:yeah, people actually do you think that if you could do it over again, would you do it differently? Yes, what would you?
Speaker 4:do. I would take my medication seriously, giving what I know now. Yeah, I'll take my medication all through, giving what I know now. I would take my medication all through school and just be like you know what? I'm ADHD, there's nothing you can do about it. Do you know what I mean when?
Speaker 4:Obviously, back in the day I was very conservative and I was a bit worried what everyone would think I'd change that if I could go back and do it again, I'd be just like whatever this is who I am I would have a better job than what I do now instead of operating heavy machinery seriously, because I'm a blue collar worker now and I would. I think if I was to take my medication and take it continuously, I would have had a better shot at school and I reckon I would have been somewhere else and I wouldn't be where I am today, like I wouldn't be just operating a piece of heavy machinery in the mines. I think I could actually have made something in my life. See, I was an apprentice chef. I love cooking.
Speaker 4:Anyone that knows me love, love cooking, love being in the kitchen, love, being on my smoker at home, love doing anything, anything that makes me happy. Well, one of the biggest things that makes me happy is when I cook food, whether it doesn't matter what it is. Yeah, if I see someone go, man, that is awesome, that was really good. That makes me go. Ah, that's awesome, makes me happy. Yeah.
Speaker 4:So when I do stuff on my smoker Shout out to JC's Barbecue.
Speaker 3:Yeah, shout out to JC's Barbecue. I'm doing JC's Barbecue. It's awesome, it's awesome.
Speaker 4:Trust me, it's awesome.
Speaker 3:To our listeners JC's Barbecue.
Speaker 4:JC's Barbecue. It's awesome, it's awesome. No, but I do that stuff and the stuff that I have cooked for other people. They've loved it and they're like, oh man, you've got to cook me it again. Or next time you do something on the smoker, let me know. And that deep down makes me feel good.
Speaker 3:So what I'm trying to say from Do you think that feeling of obviously, like you're saying, of making other people happy because you have the opportunity to do that in, obviously, being a chef that's why you're saying you would have done it whereas obviously in mining you don't really have the opportunity to make people happy because it's not like….
Speaker 4:No, it's the same monotonous job every day.
Speaker 3:Yeah and you don't have the ability to affect an individual person per se, no, so you going to mine coal doesn't necessarily make someone else happy, not really, even though.
Speaker 4:Well it does. It makes my missus happy because you get a big paycheck.
Speaker 2:But I get what?
Speaker 4:you're saying I do, it doesn't really.
Speaker 3:You're making the bosses happy. Yeah, so for you, it's more case of the impact that you have on a particular person in terms of making them happy. Yeah, that's what really is you're passionate about, and, yeah, I love it cooking. This podcast gives you that ability yeah, like perfect example this podcast.
Speaker 4:I'm hoping we make people happy with this podcast and they love listening yeah because then that would make deep down there I'll be like oh, that's awesome yeah yeah, it's the same with cooking.
Speaker 4:So I wouldn't like what I was saying before about being a chef. I did two and a half years of my training uh me for apprenticeship and then I left because I was just like, yeah, can't do it, money was terrible, whatever else, but I wouldn't have been a chef, if you know what I mean. I would have expanded that and gone into barbecue, because my real passion is and this is a hundred percent honest my real passion is barbecue smoking Like barbecue pit masters.
Speaker 3:So American Roadhouse kind of smoking.
Speaker 4:Yes, 100% yes. That is where my passion lies. So, even though I'd be a chef, I would expand it later on down the track. I don't want to be stuck in some sort of five-star la-di-da restaurant. That's not me. I would rather do exactly what you said Roadhouse American cooking on a smoker big briskets. Yeah. I love it. There's a show on Netflix called American Barbecue Showdown, just for anyone out there listening Awesome show. That's the sort of stuff that I would want to do. Okay, so yeah.
Speaker 3:That's awesome, so that's the kind of thing that makes you happy. Oh, I let's go into a little bit of music. Yeah, sure, let's do it. Let's talk about your music that you mentioned earlier. Yeah, how did you get into that? Where did it go?
Speaker 4:Yeah, okay, what is?
Speaker 3:it about music that you love.
Speaker 4:Oh, mate, I love music so much that I always wanted to be in a band. That was my main thing. That was literally my main driving thing. My cousin he's two years older than me, so he's like 36, 37 this year, I think he is, and he used to be a lead guitarist and the guy that my best mate at school used to be a drummer. So I'm like this is set up to my best mate. He's actually in a band called now, if you've ever heard of him. Hurricane Fall you? No?
Speaker 3:no, I mean no fair enough, someone else might have yeah, no, that's alright.
Speaker 4:I just thought you like to say if you do but Hurricane Fall they go to Hurricane Fall yeah, they're a country band I don't like I love country oh well, you'd like them. Hurricane Fall, yeah, hurricane Fall. I'm going to now. Tamworth.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, to Country Music Festival. They go there every year. He used to be our drummer, okay, and I grew up listening to hard rock, old school punk, all that sort of stuff. And me and my cousin Nick, and Lachlan which is the one from Hurricane Ball, who's my best mate us three we were just like let's make just a pop punk band like blink, blink 182, some 41 they were so cool back in the day.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, that's all I don't remember.
Speaker 4:Well, that's what we sort of wanted to be. We wanted to just be that easy pop punk. Yeah, have a bit of a laugh. And we recorded two songs of our own. Uh, we, that's as far as we've got. Then our drummer, he moved to tamworth, so that was when obviously all shit fell down. It was, yeah, but I've got. Then our drummer, he moved to Tamworth, so that was when obviously all shit fell down. But I've got a massive passion for music. I used to play bass and my cousin he was a lead guitarist and my old man played bass. He played bass in a band called Stage Fright, but they were just a pub band only, so they'd play covers every Friday and Saturday night back in like the 80s, early 90s and he used to be the bass player. So I think my passion grew from that, from my old man and his best mate used to be the guitarist, lead guitarist, so they would always do covers, they would always play like Pink Floyd and just all that old school stuff Aussie Crawl, whatever.
Speaker 3:So I think my passion built from that what is it about music that you love so much, though?
Speaker 4:just because the there's just the feelings that you get from music. So music, I reckon, helps everyone, and that's my personal opinion, because no matter what mood you're in, there's always music. Like you know what I mean. Like music is one of those things that. Can you imagine life without music? To be honest with you, can you imagine.
Speaker 3:No, look for me, I'm in the same boat as you. I wish my life had a soundtrack in the background.
Speaker 4:Yes, yeah, there, you get what I'm saying. Yeah, 100%. So I think music makes us feel good. I think there's an incredible power in music. Yes.
Speaker 3:Because, like you said, it has the ability to uplift you.
Speaker 4:It has the ability to change your mood. I know what.
Speaker 3:I'm saying yeah. You know you could be in a bad mood and you could listen to your favorite song and like, within an instant you could just turn and you'd be happy.
Speaker 4:Exactly right, and that is exactly what I'm trying to say. That's why I love it so much, especially with playing bass as well or not just bass, but any instrument. It makes you feel good when you're like well, we did a couple of gigs and all that sort of stuff, like we were together probably best part of seven years, and then that's when our drummer, lachlan he moved to Tamworth, which was we stayed together, but once a month, man, trying to practice is it was too hard. We did it for a while and like we looked at our bank accounts for a while and like we looked at our bank accounts, we're like, man, we're spending more money on fuel getting to tamworth, um, so, where I live, to tamworth, three hours, yeah, so we're driving three hours to practice. Man, we're just like this is not plausible, not sustainable, exactly right. But so we sort of caught it quits after about six, seven years. Okay, um, do you miss it? I do, I really do. That's one of my favorite things to do.
Speaker 3:Any listeners out there wanting to start a band? Get hold of Chef.
Speaker 4:No, I want to do this podcast with you. To be honest, as much as I love it don't get me wrong as much as I love playing bass and all that sort of stuff, I sold all my equipment. I've just sold it all. Because I'd rather to be quite honest with you, I'd rather concentrate on barbecue and this podcast, my main two things now. Okay, that's why I don't do any overtime at work, because I'd rather do do this, I'd rather do this. I don't want to go to work and do overtime when I can do barbecue making people happy, yeah, and hopefully this podcast makes people happy, yeah, I mean, these are my two passions anyway, these are, that's my two passions.
Speaker 3:All right, so adhd, let's um, let's get back into that kind of things. Obviously you said it started off in school and then you dropped off your medication and then you just got to a point where you didn't care anymore. No, what changed? When did you get back, because obviously you went off your medication? When did you get back to taking your medication?
Speaker 4:So I haven't taken my medication. So I stopped my medication when I was about seven, eight altogether, I was almost 18. I got to that adult stage, if you will. It got to the point where I'm like oh, I'm an adult, I don't need to play this game anymore. Yeah, I don't need this medication.
Speaker 4:I had a string of jobs and throughout when I say a string of jobs, I mean like you work at a job for a couple of months, or even 18 months you get fired. Well, I've never been fired in my life. But you'd leave. You'd get the shits because you'd be like, ah, man, I'm so over it, it's so monotonous. So you'd leave. You'd go get another job. Be there for 12 months, if that, yeah, I'm over this job, I've got to go get another one. You know what I mean. So I'd have a string full of jobs. I've really noticed something's got to give. Yeah, because I had, like, obviously a bad incident at work, not in a bad way, but just maybe one of the bosses had a bit of a blow-up and I got to the point where I almost lost my job and I was like, wow, okay, something's got to give here.
Speaker 3:So do you think that was the turning point for you?
Speaker 4:Yes, definitely the turning point when I almost lost my job because I thought to myself I can't provide for my daughter if I lose my job. If I lose this job, I will not-.
Speaker 3:How old's your daughter now?
Speaker 4:She is four. She just turned four in May.
Speaker 3:So it's a critical age.
Speaker 4:Yes, I think when we had the blow up I think she was about two, so that was about two years ago and, as you say, critical age got to the point where I was like, wow, if I lose this job, then how am I going to provide for her? That's what the turning point was for me. It was more responsibility on your decision making, exactly right, if that was me and I didn't have any kids, I'd be like I don't care, it's just another job. Yeah.
Speaker 4:But the fact is that I had another person to think about. I thought I can't do this.
Speaker 3:I've got to do it for her. It's funny how, yeah, it is when you have a child that your decision making is totally different. Before that it's very selfish. It is indeed For any parent out there. It becomes very selfless your decision making, which is so contradictory to human nature. Yeah, it is Because we're taught that Do what makes you happy exactly we're taught.
Speaker 4:Just as long as you're happy, that's all that matters and there's nothing wrong with that, please let me.
Speaker 3:Let me say this I do genuinely believe that you also have to have a bit of selfishness in order to make yourself happy, yeah, yeah, but when you have the responsibility of another human being, that selfishness dissipates.
Speaker 4:Exactly, and I never thought of it like that. I never thought of it like that Because when I was younger, I was like why the hell would I have kids? I'm out of control. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Yeah, now I've got a daughter. I've got a five-year-old Harry. I've got my daughter, which is four Sorry, I tell a lie Harry's six, harlow's four and Charlie's two, so they're all two years apart. Yeah.
Speaker 4:I never thought in a million years I'd have three kids and a missus and a dog Recently. Yeah, recently got a dog. That's a losing battle, trust me, missus going. I want a dog, I want a dog. Okay, yeah, righto darling, yeah, whatever Yep Comes out, dog, dog, whatever.
Speaker 3:But yeah, I never thought.
Speaker 4:I'd be set up the way I am. Yeah, Never in a million years especially from where I've come from being so disruptive and just out of control, Never been in trouble with the cops or anything like that, but never thought I'd be where I am now Not in a million years.
Speaker 3:So back on medication now. Obviously, I think you mentioned that you're on the waiting list to get back on medication.
Speaker 4:So I'm taking medication right now. So I just take one a day every morning when I wake up and it just takes the edge off. It's not really medication for ADHD, it's more of an antidepressant. Okay, when I was talking to the doctor, I actually said that to her. I said why the hell would I take me antidepressants? I'm a you know me, I'm a happy kind of lucky kind of guy yeah, lucky sort of person.
Speaker 3:What would I? Take any presents I think for me depressed, if I, if I had to, ever before. Obviously we got to know each other a little bit more from the outside. Whenever I looked at you, you always were this bubbly, energetic person, yeah, laughing, always, making other people around you laugh. You weren't scared to like have a joke at yourself.
Speaker 4:No, not at all, and that's the biggest thing as well. Yeah, always make fun of myself before anyone else which is yeah, which is I mean.
Speaker 3:So when I looked at you from the outside and then obviously got to know you a bit more and we're talking about these struggles it was just such a a shock to me to learn some of the stuff that I did learn.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah. So what then?
Speaker 3:I mean, you and I have had some really good conversations, you know just in terms of how deep it did get.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, your struggles, yeah. So I've hit rock bottom a couple of times. I really have to the point where I'm not going to lie to you. As I said, I'm not going to lie to you. As I said, I'm going to be as open as I can on this podcast, just for the listeners as well and obviously yourself, mate. There's been so many times where I just thought about ending it all. It's just easier. It's easier just to hang yourself or cut your wrist and jump in a hot bath or whatever you want to do, because it's easier. But it's like now that I've got my daughter, that's where it all changed. I'm like I can't do that, I can't just off myself because I've got another person to think about.
Speaker 4:She's the hope, she is the hope. And I look back at her when she the day that she was born, all that sort of stuff, and I was the happiest, I was at my peak and I look back and I just go why would I want to kill myself? That's just stupid, that's just silly. Yeah, I mean, I look back there now but yeah, so you're 100% right, she's the hope, she's awesome, but very sassy. She's a little bit of an a-hole.
Speaker 3:I reckon she gets that from her dad.
Speaker 4:She gets that actually from her mum. She gets that from her mum. Zero patience comes from dad.
Speaker 3:Okay, okay, yeah, okay. So yeah, that's a lot to unpack there, shiv, yeah, I think.
Speaker 4:And I just want to let anyone know that I would never do that now. That was how I felt back in the day. Well, I think you've got the help.
Speaker 3:You've got the medication. I've got the best missus in the world. She's awesome, she supports me. You've got the best support system that you can have. So I think all these factors come into it to kind of build that network of support that you need in order to grow out of that situation. You know, yeah, yeah. So I think, if I can look at it for me from the outside. Is that you kind of have a purpose now? Yes, I do. That's beyond just your own selfish purpose.
Speaker 4:Exactly right. I've got other people to think about, so you're working.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so you're working towards fulfilling a promise or purpose or a goal at the end of the day, and so there's more meaning to your journey.
Speaker 4:Yeah, there is 100%. There is when before I had nothing really going for me, didn't have a house, I didn't have a car, but this is before. You know what I mean. So it was one of those things where it's like what have I got? What have I got to shave for it? Nothing, where nowadays. Yeah, you're right, like I've got awesome missus that would bend over backwards for me, like we'll go to bed Like me and you like for night shift and all that, but she'll cook me dinner, she'll make sure I'm fed before I go to work, you know, like she cleans up the whole house, she bends over backwards. The kids are like, obviously, being six, four and two, they're a bit out of control, yeah, but they're kids, yeah, especially with my young bloke, which we'll get into later episodes but my young bloke's just been diagnosed with autism.
Speaker 3:How was that, shiv, when you and your missus found out about that.
Speaker 4:how was that to kind of take in having a similar struggle yourself? So my missus already knew, because it's like my stepchild, so she already knew, but she didn't know because she doesn't have what we have, if that makes sense, so she's like a normal person. If that makes sense.
Speaker 3:how would I say that she doesn't struggle with ADHD.
Speaker 4:Yeah, or she doesn't struggle with autism or any mental health. She doesn't struggle with any of that stuff.
Speaker 3:Okay, she has her own struggles.
Speaker 4:Yes, but it's not the same struggle as you, not mental health struggles, no, and I think while we're on here, let me just quickly do a side note yeah, go for it.
Speaker 3:That probably is the one thing that I've discovered the most during this journey that we've started in this podcast is that you might not understand someone else's struggle.
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 3:That does not mean that their pain in their struggle is any lesser than yours.
Speaker 4:No, that's exactly right and I think, with what you've said, the people that don't struggle with mental health or just struggles in general. I think a lot of people don't understand what you go through. They just think you can get over it, and it's not like that. Unless you've had mental health or struggles in everyday life, you've got no idea. You know what I mean, and that's what makes it hard. Yeah, where she's like that, I'm not saying she's a bad person, but she just doesn't. She hasn't struggled with that stuff.
Speaker 4:Yeah, Like she's got her own struggles, definitely, but yeah, so it was very hard because when I first got with my miss blah blah, blah blah and just snowballed from there when she come to live with me, harry was five, so she's I've been in her life now with the kids for 18 months, almost two years. When he was diagnosed, he was diagnosed when we first started talking again, so she was still living in Melbourne and I was living in New South Wales. So it was one of those things where I didn't really know, because I've never dealt with someone with autism. So he's full-blown autism with ADHD, but more autism. He's like I think they said, level two autistic. Okay, so he's very smart. Yeah, he's like I think they said level two autistic.
Speaker 3:Okay, so he's very smart.
Speaker 4:Yeah, mathematics is his favourite subject, so he's already doing times tables and he's already plussing. He's in kindergarten. Wow. Yeah, the teachers are like mate, these kids, nothing bad, but these kids aren't meant to be multiplying, they've got no idea. They're still writing their name. For God's sake, here he writing their name. For god's sake, here he is multiplying and plussing. He's like, oh, 150 plus 50 is like 200. And the teacher's like what the hell? Yeah, so, but what I'm saying is very exhausting.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he's a good kid, switched on um, but he's like me, gets out of control so let's talk about the journey of this now, obviously, having a kid, what, what's the process? Tell us how you, how you combat, so struggles yeah, so what happened was? What are some of the tools you use?
Speaker 4:uh well, I'll tell you. So I'll tell you.
Speaker 4:I'll start from the start yeah so my missus found he was very out of control, wasn't concentrating all that sort of stuff. So she's like maybe there's something going on there. So she's booked him in. Yeah, to the gp, all that sort of stuff. They said we're going to book you a specialist appointment because we think there's something else going on there. Anyway, on the waiting list, went through all the rigmarole, then she got to the point where she went and seen a um, like a mental health nurse, I think that's what they call them and the mental health nurse is like, yep, we're going to book into a like a proper specialist for kids. Like, yep, because, yeah, he's got, just he's out of control.
Speaker 4:Anyway, without dragging the story on long story short, went through all the rigmarole, all that sort of stuff. Yep, he's got autism stage two and I think there's I don't know, I think that's what they said. Stage two is like I think there's another one that's I'm not 100% sure on this stuff, so I'm trying to be a bit careful, okay, but I think there's one that's higher than him which is nonverbal autistic. Yeah, where he's stage two, where he's very high functioning. I think you got that there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so basically Just trying to explain it to the listeners.
Speaker 4:As I said on this, yeah, try to be careful with what I say, because I'm not 100% sure.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so obviously, when we refer to autism, there's what they call the spectrum. Yes, so spectrum is basically the different levels in which they grade an individual's autistic level.
Speaker 4:Yeah okay.
Speaker 3:So it's typically diagnosed based on observed behaviors, developmental history, severity, of levels ranging from mild to severe, yep, yep, okay, okay. And it ranges across areas of like functioning such as social communication, yep. So that's why, obviously, a lot of but she's got none of that, yeah.
Speaker 3:So you can have difficulty communicating Yep Repetitive behaviors. So you can have difficulty communicating Yep Repetitive behavior, so, as they continue to do the same thing over and over again, yep, that's him. That's one of the signs of autism. And then, obviously, the big one that a lot of people do recognize is sensory sensitivities, which is him 100%. Light noises.
Speaker 4:Noises sets him off.
Speaker 3:Touch sensitivity. So all of those kind of things are associated with autism, so it's just a high sensitivity towards that yeah, okay so basically, when we talk about stages stage one, stage two, stage three, whatever the case is, yep, it's basically how severe in their conditioning these they are yeah, okay.
Speaker 4:So when you've got ADHD, you're on the spectrum, no matter what, to some degree. So that's why I said I've got ADHD and autism, but more ADHD because I'm on the spectrum where he's more autistic than what he is ADHD, if that makes sense.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:But he's not non-verbal, if you know what I mean. He's very high function, very smart, so anyway but it's very exhausting. Yeah, me and my missus, we're pretty good. We don't really argue, but when we're exhausted we don't argue about really anything. We've sort of we're like me and you bounce off each other. We connect really well. Sometimes when we get exhausted we do have a bit of a. That's natural at each other yeah, because it's so exhausting having me as adhd and him because he'll do something to set me off so do you find?
Speaker 3:now yeah, so do you find now that there's even more importance to you kind of taking?
Speaker 2:medication oh yeah to maintain that.
Speaker 3:So you don't add fuel to the fire because that's what's happened, yeah, that's.
Speaker 4:even my missus said that she goes. I understand that you're adhd and you've got autism and all that and same, like, obviously, with Harry, my young one. But she said youse just back and forth. Youse add fuel to the fire. He adds fuel to your fire. Like it's very hard. My missus is ready to shoot us both. Okay, she's like Shame.
Speaker 3:She loves you, she does she's awesome well, but she's like I'm ready to strangle both ears.
Speaker 4:Okay, so what are some of the tools that you you use to help harry? Uh, so we, we have um a ot that comes to see him once a week and she does like different stuff with him, and so, just for those of you don't know, ot stands for occupational therapist.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's the one yeah, uh, yeah.
Speaker 4:So she'll come and see him once a week and try at different things where there's like like a little that they got like a scrubbing brush and they put it on his skin.
Speaker 3:Get him used to the sensory yeah sensory, like all different sensory stuff.
Speaker 4:Like last I think it was last week she come over, her name is Molly and they were blowing bubbles in a bucket. Do you know what I mean? Like just little stuff to get his, being six years old, his mind's like an absolute sponge still.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 4:So, yeah, he's trying to get him to do that sort of stuff, like they'll build forts and like Molly will build forts with him and stuff like that, just like different stuff, so she can monitor where his brain's at. Okay.
Speaker 3:So one of the tools is obviously occupational therapy. Oh yeah, occupational therapy, which is really good, because I really do feel that occupational therapists are so key to a child's development. When it comes to them struggling with ADHD and autism, yeah, definitely. They are incredible and majority of occupational therapists that I've had the privilege of coming into contact with they're angelic. They have the patience of a saint.
Speaker 4:They are amazing people.
Speaker 3:They are incredible people.
Speaker 4:So I'm just trying to think about Molly yeah, Because that's obviously my young bloke, self-compassional therapist Mate. Molly is the most placid, loveliest girl and you're 100% right. She has as much patience as she does. It's incredible.
Speaker 3:Well, well, I think that is it's important to know, that it's so key that, when it comes to autism, yep, that you do maintain a level of calmness. Yeah, because your child feeds off the energy that you bring. So if you start to get angry and you start to get worked up, your child because they are so sensitive to these things immediately picks up on that and then they start to add fuel to the fire by getting stressed out and worked up and it does not help the situation. So that's why I think occupational therapists they are so good with the way that they just remain so level, so calm, so just placid, like say yeah exactly, um, because, yeah, you're right, like we with the energy thing, my energy is really high, yeah, and we muck around with each other.
Speaker 4:Then he gets real high, yeah, and we miss his like I can't handle this, yeah, but that's how he's adhd autism. I like, yeah, but that's how he's ADHD autism. I'm ADHD autism, that's how we muck around together. But what you said, his energy matches. You know what I mean Adding fuel to the fire, matching energy, and it's just like that's why my missus gets so overwhelmed. Sometimes she goes exhausting, yeah. So, yes, occupational therapy, yeah, is awesome, is awesome.
Speaker 4:Medication, medication I'm not sure of medication for him, but for me personally, with adhd, I take um sirtraline which, as I said, yes, that's an antidepressant. I'm looking at being uh, because I'm on the list for october to actually get proper medication. So some of the proper medication that I know of is like Ritalin, vyvanse, I think it's Dexadryl, that's another one and then, like your, dexamphetamines and stuff like that, different. They're the different medications that I know of, and I was on dexamphetamines when I was a kid, yep, so I'm sore and that worked. It really suppresses your appetite, though that's the only downside side effect that I had with it Okay. So if you look at old photos of me, wow, wow, I'm like that hat rack. I'm skinny as so it just depends on the person, but it really worked Okay, and it a slow release.
Speaker 3:And then I also think one of the key- things that obviously you were speaking about is that outlet for creativity. Yes, so obviously you were music creative. Now, that's not to say every person that struggles with ADHD or autism is going to be, but I think the key thing is to create an outlet in order for them to express their creativity or their gifting whether it be art, music, sport.
Speaker 3:The other one obviously you mentioned is he's incredibly intelligent, so allowing him the room to then expand in that go in maths, give him these kind of tools to to um, use that and that gifting that he has. So, yeah, I think that's one of the things that I can honestly say is just to create that space, yep, where they can roam free in the yeah that particular field of creativity, the outlet to release that energy that they have yeah, of course.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I don't know, definitely like, um, it's like what you said, like, yeah, like he's good with maths. Just depends on that person. Like I've got a mate of mine, um, so my stepdad uh, he lives or my stepdad, one of his best mates, uh, has moved to sydney like years and years ago moved to sydney, but he's young blokes, autistic. He's actually gone to the school of music. He can play like seven different instruments. So it just depends, like exactly what you said it could be, could be art, could be, uh, could be music, could be, could be anything, anything, yeah, it could be anything. So they are very, very intelligent people, like, as I said, you like the teachers at school they were like man, he's doing like year two maths like, and he's in kindergarten, right, so hopefully makes me a lot of money yeah, what do you reckon?
Speaker 4:I mean let's go why not yeah yeah, but yeah, so yeah. That's why I never write off people with adhd or autism, because they are very switched on, but in their own way, I think, yeah, people don't understand that. A lot of people just go oh, you would like it's a disability. That's what it is. It's classified as a disability.
Speaker 3:I think the key is people who struggle with it. They battle in communicating, yeah, their thoughts or their feelings. And that's where, yeah, people don't understand, because, because they don't get the communication side of things, that, oh, they don't understand it and therefore they get frustrated or irritated, or it's not their fault.
Speaker 4:It's like sometimes when you get frustrated with me and you always go. You've got to think about what you say first. You don't have a filter. No, I don't. I don't think about what I say. That's part of ADHD. You're just full throttle. Don't think about what you say. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3:But anyway, sorry, keep going. No, that's fine, let's bring this into land.
Speaker 4:Shiv, Bring this into land.
Speaker 3:What advice do you have For people who are struggling with ADHD, Autism or even have a loved one?
Speaker 4:I would definitely say Don't write them off. Get them checked out. If you think there's something going on, like their behavior is out of control or whatever, don't. Don't just write them off, don't like just jump on them like don't think it's a, it's a bad behavior exactly that is exactly right.
Speaker 4:Don't think like that. Get them checked out, take them to the gp, get them out and ask questions before you just write them off, because more chances, more chances than none. They've got an issue with ADHD or autism. It doesn't even have to be that. It could be aspergis or whatever it may be that sort of stuff. If you get them checked out, a little bit of medication or whatever else, I'll tell you what. It'll make a hell of a difference. So pretty much my message to them is don't write them off If you're not sure about something. Take them to the GP and further your knowledge of that. Ask questions, go. How come my son's carrying on mucking around? There's obviously something else there. That's what I'm trying to say. Okay, because it's not just him being an arsehole. That's awesome. You know. It's obviously something else there that you need to ask about. Yeah, I definitely say get them checked out, whether it be medication or psychotherapy or whatever else the doctor orders. Just ask questions.
Speaker 3:Yeah, first step in anything is ask questions.
Speaker 4:Yeah, oh, I think. So, as I said, just don't write them off. Yeah, so yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, thank you, shiv, thank you for sharing a bit of your story with everyone, with us.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's not everything, but it's the gist of what I went through, if you know what I mean. Like that's the majority of what happened when I was growing up.
Speaker 3:It gives us a good insight into who you are today, and the struggles you have and just the things that have made you who you are. Thank you for being. I am thankful.
Speaker 4:Sorry I was just going to say I am thankful that I've gone through what I've gone through, because I wouldn't be the person I am today, exactly so I am thankful, but yeah, and I am in a happy place at the minute. Still struggling day to day, but, yeah, I am in a happier place.
Speaker 3:So thank you so much for that and for being open to sharing all that you did. I know I've gained a lot of insights into you and to obviously ADHD and autism and just come up with a few tools. So thank you very much for that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's all right. I'm always willing to share. So any questions or anything like that? Yeah, I'm always an open person and I'm always willing to share. So, yeah, knock yourself out.
Speaker 3:Lovely. And then, just to end it off, we're going to start a tradition on this podcast. Yeah, are you guys?
Speaker 2:The last.
Speaker 3:Thing that we do on this podcast. I'm going to ask you a question. Oh, yeah, yeah, and we'll ask every guest this question when it comes on our show yeah, good. And the question is is how can you do something today that will make tomorrow better?
Speaker 4:how can I do something today that would make, I think, being a better person today, so not being a complete tool bag? Yeah, whether it be just, you know, putting a smile on someone's face or helping the missus out, or helping me mom out, do something today, I think we'll make it a better tomorrow. And if someone just did something nice today for someone, and everyone did that, I think with the world would be a better place. Oh jeez, I sound like miss america. I love it beautiful.
Speaker 4:I sound like miss america, beautiful, but you know what I'm getting at yeah I just think, if someone did something yeah if someone did something nice for someone like I, think the world would be a better place beautiful.
Speaker 3:Thank you, shiv. Thank you very much for sharing I really enjoy it.
Speaker 4:Don't forget, check out our socials. You can tell them I'm the guest here.
Speaker 3:You can tell them, yes they can check out our socials please. No, it's leavealoudonpodcast, that's Instagram, and on Facebook yep, like, drop us some comments. Sweet and uh. We hope to see you all again on the next episode yeah, hopefully, if all goes well.
Speaker 4:I've got to talk to you about it, but I'm hoping we can delve into you and your background yeah, we'll see how that goes anyway, I'm pretty keen. I am pretty keen here.
Speaker 3:Thank you, chef thank you, I appreciate it.
Speaker 4:Thank you for sharing and I hope to see you all again on the next yeah, you guys take it easy and stay safe out there, eh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, leave a light on.
Speaker 2:Let's go All right, see you, hey. Thanks for listening. We hope you managed to gain some insight from today's episode. Jump onto our socials and reach out, and until next time, wherever you are, let's leave a light on.