Leave A Light On Podcast
Welcome to "Leave A Light On Podcast," the podcast that brings you inspiring stories of ordinary people overcoming extraordinary challenges in their lives. Join us as we delve into the lives of individuals from all walks of life, exploring the adversities they face and the resilience they demonstrate in overcoming them.
In each episode, we'll introduce you to a new guest—a parent, a teacher, a healthcare worker, a student, a veteran, or perhaps your neighbor next door. Through heartfelt interviews and candid conversations, we'll uncover the personal battles they've fought, whether it's overcoming illness, navigating through loss, breaking free from addiction, or facing societal barriers.
From tales of triumph over adversity to stories of perseverance in the face of hardship, "Leave a Light On Podcast" celebrates the human spirit and the strength found within each of us. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and most importantly, you'll be inspired by the resilience and determination of these everyday people who refuse to be defined by their struggles.
So, tune in and join us on this journey of hope, empowerment, and the celebration of the human spirit. Because in the end, it's the stories of everyday people that remind us all that we are capable of overcoming anything life throws our way.
Leave A Light On Podcast
Episode 11 - Chris van Namen: From Military Missions to Family Foundations
Ever wondered what lies beneath the surface of a seemingly tough exterior? We introduce "The Viking," Chris Van Namen, whose transformation from a guarded individual to a nurturing presence is nothing short of inspiring. As our special guest, Chris shares his riveting journey, shedding light on the stark contrast between appearances and character, and how embracing vulnerability has been pivotal in his personal growth. Join us as we reveal the story of this combat engineer who found his true calling in the military, alongside a 21-year relationship that has withstood the trials of army life through communication and resilience.
Chris opens up about the challenges faced in the high-stakes environment of the military, where anxiety and aggression can take root. His candid account of battling these internal conflicts, alongside the pressures of military service, offers invaluable insights into the importance of seeking help and the strength found in vulnerability. A surprising encounter during his training and the unwavering support of his wife add layers to his narrative, highlighting the sacrifices and adjustments required by military families, particularly during pivotal life moments.
This episode also explores Chris's path to mental health recovery, a testament to courage and perseverance in the face of adversity. Through a heartfelt discussion about prioritizing family over career ambitions, Chris emphasizes the significance of finding the right support and the role of loved ones in navigating life's challenges. His story is a poignant reminder of the enduring strength found in relationships and the profound personal growth that can arise from confronting and overcoming struggles. Tune in to be inspired by Chris's journey and the life lessons he imparts, encouraging us all to focus on what truly matters.
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Share your stories with us and lets Leave a Light On
Hello and welcome to Leave a Light On Podcast, a show that looks to tackle the everyday struggles in our everyday lives. It's time to shed some light on it. Leave a light on podcasts not a licensed mental health service. It shouldn't be substituted for professional advice or treatment. Things discussed in this podcast are general in nature and may be of a sensitive nature. If you're struggling, please seek professional help or contact Lifeline on 13 11 14. Here's your hosts, shane and Shiv.
Speaker 2:Hey, hey legends. Welcome to another episode of Live A Light On podcast. I hope yous are all well, and alongside me is Shane.
Speaker 3:Hey Shiv, as always, How's it?
Speaker 2:Oh, good mate, hey you good. Big countdown to Canada.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I go overseas in a few weeks' time.
Speaker 2:So I'm really excited.
Speaker 3:It's going to give me a nice break from this podcast. 100%, it's good.
Speaker 2:No, it's good, I'll miss it.
Speaker 3:I'll miss it, but yeah, just going for a little break and to see some new sites, which is always good, that's awesome. I really do encourage everyone who hasn't done a bit of traveling get out there, See the world. It's a beautiful place.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it definitely is, especially Canada. I'm a bit envious of you going to Canada.
Speaker 3:It's going to be awesome. I can't say yet whether it's beautiful or not. Yeah, you know, I've got a few of my mates that are going out there snowboarding. Yeah.
Speaker 2:In Whistler.
Speaker 3:Okay, and they love it, so make sure you rug up, because you'll freeze your gahonas off. Yeah, I'm going to go see if there's a lot of whistling going on in Whistler, so we'll see how it goes. That's awesome.
Speaker 2:But yeah, welcome to another episode.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm super happy that we're making some good progress with this podcast. I'm glad that you went, we've got an awesome guest on today. He's going to talk to us so yeah, yeah, a real special one today.
Speaker 3:I mean, obviously, a guy that we've known for a while now, yep and just yeah, someone who's got a really interesting story. Yeah, definitely, like all our guests, obviously they have their own interesting stories, but we're excited for this guy to share his story with everyone and all of our listeners, all of our listeners. So yeah, it's going to be really good. He's not only a good friend of ours as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So we work with him. Yeah, he's not only a good friend, he's also a good colleague. Yeah, he is, yeah, as you just said, because you work with him. Yeah, he's with me. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, and for anyone who is listening, come on and had a love story. This individual has also got a nickname to us. Oh, yeah, he is someone who a lot of people refer to him as the Viking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'll tell you a quick story behind that. So when I first started out at Bulgo, he had a mohawk and both his side of his heads were shaved and he was like built like a brick shithouse, well, and he was like the viking yeah, he still is built like a brick house, that's for sure, but he no longer has a mohawk.
Speaker 3:So, without further ado, um, let's introduce our guest. Welcome chris van naman, otherwise known as aka the viking he's come up with that one pretty quick and actually we've got a little intro song for you and because obviously people know you as the Viking, we've decided to go Theme music.
Speaker 1:Yeah, theme music.
Speaker 3:So this is the intro theme for Mr Chris Van Damen.
Speaker 1:AKA the. Viking, how's that for an intro? That's awesome that sounded very intense yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean the Vikings are pretty intense, let's be honest.
Speaker 2:Well, that's true, you did yeah. When I first met you, you looked like a badass.
Speaker 3:Viking, even when I first met you, I was like this dude is hardcore. But honestly, if there's anything we know, is that sometimes the external is very different to the internal, because you're actually a big cuddle bear, aren't you?
Speaker 6:Pretty much. Yeah, you're a big teddy bear, aren't you? And that was a secret up until this point, but I thought it was.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're a big teddy bear, which is amazing, because that's what I love about you know people and their judgment sometimes can be so different and so wrong, yeah, and often in the best way. So you come across this as very hard, obviously, like you said, built like a brick house individual, and we'll get into your story a little bit later in terms of how that came about. But, yeah, I think some of the conversations we've had over the last couple of years and I know Shev will agree with me there's a lot of depth to you, chris Yep, and I think when people get to know you, you actually become quite a security blanket for people, because you're almost that teddy bear but you have that very like hardcore facade about you, but people feel safe around you and the fact that they can still open up and be soft around you.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I think that's something that's changed the last few years, because there was a time period where the image wouldn't let. People wouldn't want to talk to you. And that's what I was going for.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I didn't want to be standoffish and isolate. Yeah, you enjoyed keeping people at arm's length.
Speaker 6:Pretty much yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, let's get into your story a little bit, chris. I length pretty much, yeah, well, let's. Uh, let's get into your story a little bit, chris. I know she's going to give us a bit of your bio first, just so that, um, I guess we'll get a bit of a summary of who you are. But we'll get into that now. Uh, she'd you want to? You want to give us chris's bio?
Speaker 2:yeah absolutely so, um, yeah, so, born in 1986 in blacktown in sydney, uh, which would make you 38.
Speaker 6:Yeah, thanks moved up to Sold you down there over there.
Speaker 2:Moved up to Lake Macquarie, where you grew up and spent the majority of your teenage years. Then you joined the Navy in 2004, but quickly transitioned to the Army in 2006, where you spent 12 years six years as a combat engineer and six years as a personal trainer. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You end up leaving the Army on the 27th of September or thereabouts due to a promise you had made your wife yeah, which, look, if you're into hearing that and then you end up joining the mining industry the same year later on, but unfortunately due to mental health. You're lucky, mental health would take a turn for the worst. Yeah. Where you started seeking like professional help up until this year and you've started making some really really good progress so that's really episode done.
Speaker 3:Cool thanks, chef. Good job, play the theme music, alright, I'll see you all next week but let's, yeah, chris, let's start with you. Then tell us who you are who. If someone had to come up to you and say who's Chris, what would that response be?
Speaker 6:I think I'm pretty well gauged now as being a family man. I suppose, like my two girls and my wife, are the the three priorities, the three centers, and yeah, I mean I think I'm well known as being that family guy.
Speaker 3:I mean, I can attest to that completely. I know from the time I've known you, you've been very family orientated. You're always talking to me about your family, your social media. You're always spending time with them. Yeah, and what I love about your social media is a lot of people can tend to put all the positive stuff up on social media. You just put your life up there, like whether it's the good or the bad, and you're raw and authentic and that's what I love about I think most of it for us is, I mean, it's just who we are.
Speaker 6:So, and the biggest problem that we see on socials now is everybody over inflates themselves all the time, just be you and use the shit. What anyone else thinks, yeah I love that.
Speaker 3:Um, there's actually a really powerful message in that, which we'll get to later. But, um, but, yeah, so tell us what did growing up look like for you?
Speaker 6:Standard. I mean for what I would consider. Anyway. Mum and dad are still together. They still live in the same house. I grew up in One younger brother school. We'd spend a lot of time with our grandparents because they lived down the road. It wasn't until later in life I realised that we spent so much time there because my parents were working so hard to give us the life that we had. So, yeah, plenty of cousins. Until I met my wife, I thought I had a big family. Her family's frigging huge. That's another issue.
Speaker 3:It sounds like even from early onset, like family was a big thing for you.
Speaker 6:For me it is yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 6:Especially with all my cousins and you know, uncles and aunties and things. It's always been a big thing for me in particular.
Speaker 3:It's such a beautiful thing that has transitioned into your adult life, because what tends to happen sometimes is you take that for granted when you're younger. Yes. And then you come out of it and then it kind of just dissipates. Yeah. You've really you and it kind of just dissipates. You and your family have really held on to that kind of value of family above everything.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I think even in the last couple of years it's sort of solidified even further. So, yeah, it's a really big part of us.
Speaker 3:Yeah, obviously we were talking before this. You were saying that you were quite a. I mean, you're a quiet dude, as is Most. You don't talk to people much unless they come and instigate a conversation with you. But you, you said even before, when you were a kid, you were pretty quiet and you used the word nerdy, which I would never have thought of I was the uh, the quiet overweight kid with the bleach blonde hair in the corner.
Speaker 3:That's the easiest way, yeah oh, I would never, ever have thought that. Um, but yeah, I mean, your childhood sounds like it was stock standard when you you would think about, like you say um yeah, in saying that, very different in the fact that your parents are still together to this day.
Speaker 6:Grandparents obviously were down the road, which is beautiful yeah, both sets both sets both sets grandparents were in within two minutes walk of each other oh my goodness, very close, that's amazing.
Speaker 3:So you would have had, obviously, like you say, a very interesting childhood and the fact that you had to see your grandparents quite often see family um mom and dad obviously, like you said, work pretty hard, which I think, from what I know, you've kind of inherited that work ethic from them yeah, yeah, so they would be proud they would be proud, for sure, yeah, yeah, they always tell me that, actually, yeah, especially now um, what were your, what were your goals when you were younger and like, when you what?
Speaker 3:when you were asked as a kid, what did you want to be? What did that look like for you?
Speaker 6:I guess as a younger kid there wasn't really an answer. But when I sort of got into high school and middle high school it was a soldier. That's all I wanted to be was in the military, in the army. You weren't going to tell me black or blue that I was going to do anything different. I certainly wasn't going to be a coal miner.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 6:So, why?
Speaker 3:what was it about the army that you were so attracted to?
Speaker 6:Not a clue. Wow, Couldn't tell you it. Just I guess the biggest thing when I looked into it originally was that it seemed like such an adventure. Yeah. Particularly being a combat engineer. It was so such a diverse range of skill sets that you'd acquire in that job, plus the adventure of the army on top of that. So it was just all very appealing and I was going. I wasn't being told any which way.
Speaker 6:Jeez, okay, that's quite interesting, and so obviously straight after high school you decided off, you go yeah, in a roundabout way. So the job I wanted, I was told my neck was too thick, so I was too fat. Stop chipping, lose some weight and come back. But apparently I was okay to go to the Navy. So I went to the Navy, yeah, and I lasted a grand total of five weeks.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 6:And two of those were in transition to come back home. So, oh wow, yeah, it wasn't for me. Yeah, I was never. Those were in transition to come back home. Oh wow, yeah, it wasn't for me yeah. I was never going to stay. Why?
Speaker 2:Yeah, any particular reason.
Speaker 6:No, being in the army and being the combat engineer. It just had me. It's so crazy. That's all I can say.
Speaker 3:Yeah right, because I mean, was there much difference between the Navy to the military in terms of, obviously, ones on the sea and just ones on land? But you put a. You mean they work on the same strategies, the same work ethic, the same kind of fitness regime. No, no.
Speaker 6:No, from what I've seen, and again, there's an army bias here that you'll never get rid of and I apologize to all the Navy people that I know of, but it was professional, but none of it was what I was after, so the fitness wasn't up there when I was there. I wanted to be outfield with the rifle doing all the army stereotypical things, and swimming in winter in Melbourne just wasn't appealing. So you know, let's go somewhere else.
Speaker 3:Okay, so that lasted a grand total of five weeks. Yep, okay. And after how long did you realize that Navy's not for you?
Speaker 6:I think it was my second week down there. Yeah. Just nothing was jiving. I wasn't comfortable. Yeah, so right, it's not going to happen. Yeah, just nothing was jiving, I wasn't comfortable, yeah, so right, it's not going to happen.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 6:Let's do what we originally set out to do, and let's do it properly.
Speaker 3:Okay. Did you feel like, in that decision to leave the Navy, that there was a sense of failure?
Speaker 6:No, there was comfort.
Speaker 3:Comfort yeah.
Speaker 6:I knew it was the right choice. That's awesome, yeah. So I sort of had that when I came home, because you know you can't help but have it flash through your head that you might have failed at something. But it was just the right choice, it wasn't anything else.
Speaker 3:Okay, that's interesting. And then came home obviously back from the Navy five weeks. What did life look like then? Because obviously you didn't go straight to the military then.
Speaker 6:No, it was probably an 18-month layover, I think. Before I left I was a labourer for a plastering company for a time and then I got a job driving concrete trucks for the later period of time, and that was all, while I was doing my entrance interviews and tests and waiting for the job to come up.
Speaker 3:Just a waiting game, yep.
Speaker 6:And as soon as that phone call came, I packed my bags and… and went Ready to go 18 months later.
Speaker 3:Yep, tell us about that. What happened there? Oh, it was awesome it really was.
Speaker 6:It didn't feel like it a few times down there. I mean, basic training is what it is. It's not designed to be comfortable. It's yeah, they're turning you into a soldier, essentially, so it shouldn't be comfortable, but it was what I wanted. It's exactly what I expected it to be in that particular period and I knew it was the right choice.
Speaker 3:so, yeah, okay, so basic training kind of went for basic training. Then what did you do so?
Speaker 6:it was 12 weeks in waga at basic um. The last two weeks I was there, I went down to the mess hall and my brother was there, so, unbeknownst to me, he had joined up as well. Oh wow, and nobody told me. I just saw him at lunch one day, which was a bit of a surprise. That would have been a big surprise, because the unfortunate bit was I was about to leave and he'd only just started. Oh, wow. So you know, we yeah. Is he still in it?
Speaker 6:today? No, no, he was there for a time I can't remember how many years he did but we went on very different career paths.
Speaker 2:That's fair enough.
Speaker 6:But yeah, after that it was into Sydney for well, until the end of that year so probably five months I spent in Sydney doing my core specific stuff, so combat engineer specific training and then, yeah, we were posted to Darwin at the end of 2006. And that was it. My wife and I were just off on our adventure and we'll see how we go. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean your wife obviously plays a very critical part in your story. Yeah, definitely. So we'll kind of I mean focus on her a little bit, but let's just stay where we are now with combat engineer Yep. What was a combat engineer for those of us who have never been to the military?
Speaker 6:Essentially it's infantry. Basically everybody's a rifleman at the start, yeah, but combat engineer, we get a lot of specific skill sets after that. So things like construction, demolition, clearances, it's yeah. There's a myriad of other skill sets you can learn in the engineers that make you specific anything from transport, heavy equipment, operation, explosives, constructions, you can do it all.
Speaker 2:Basically, there's a lot of different avenues that's pretty cool, you've got so many options.
Speaker 6:Yeah, that's right, you can go in and do your basic engineer course and then spear off and be a plumber or be a chippy and do a trade, or you can go the other way and do explosives and demolition, ied search and disarmament things like that.
Speaker 2:So yeah, you can do anything.
Speaker 3:That's awesome. It's quite interesting because, like, even when you're saying that, I always thought to myself, like you watch these, like military movies and stuff like that, where they go to like Iraq or whatever the case is, and they have these military bases.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they have these military bases that are just like and you kind of just presume, like oh you know, the guys who are going out into the field and stuff like that to do all the like patrolling and stuff, they're going to set up the bases, but there's actually a whole like cruise and things like that that go in there.
Speaker 6:That's pretty well, our guys that do all that.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 6:I mean, we did water purification a lot of the time, so we'd take creek water and make it drinkable and you know that was a big part of where I found myself.
Speaker 3:What was that movie where he was? Wasn't it in the army? Now, when he was, that was his-.
Speaker 2:Pauly Shaw, yeah, pauly.
Speaker 3:Shaw yeah, in the army now I'm in the army. That was his job to do the water purification. That's awesome, yeah, but job to do the water purification, that's awesome, um, yeah, but that I mean, that's quite crazy to think that there's literally um designated like units that go out there to literally just set up the bases and you know yeah, make it make it kind of livable for everyone.
Speaker 3:So when you talk about having those kind of skills, it's quite interesting. Um, okay, so combat engineer, tell us a little bit about the journey through that kind of phase for you.
Speaker 6:So we did two years in Darwin. In that time I spent three months living in Southeast Asia on a trip doing training in that with foreign militaries. That was unreal. Darwin was I mean I would have stayed there. I love the place it was. I guess it might have been the excitement of the start of our adventure, but it was an unreal place. Then we moved down to Canberra for another two years. It was more, I guess, regimented in the sense of an army side of things. It wasn't core specific anymore so wasn't as happy there. And then I went to a construction regiment in Sydney. So that was back to an engineer troop and it was good. He learned a lot there because, like I say, we were doing a lot more construction tasks here and there and I guess we got a bit more of an exposure to different skills.
Speaker 3:So yeah, so I mean you speak very highly of the Army in terms of your experience in the Army. Yeah, you look fondly on your time, but there was a very different side to the Army you and I were obviously talking about.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Let's explore that a little bit more. You and I are obviously talking about yeah, let's explore that a little bit more. So you obviously were entrenched in I want to call it the kind of core, traditional values of the army, yeah, and the fact that it was mission over everything, kind of thing. Yeah. Tell us a little bit more about that.
Speaker 6:Well, I mean, I guess Mission Over Everything is sort of it was more of an army over everything sort of outlook, and there's a few people that wouldn't know. But there was two occasions that I can recall where I was told by, I guess, superiors that it would be my benefit to walk away from my family and my partner and just commit wholeheartedly to the Army. And she was like her and my child were a distraction at the time, which I was astounded that somebody could tell somebody else that To my career detriment. I had a doubt with these individuals and told them what I really thought of them. You can't do that, apparently, but that's fine. By my morals and my ethics and my life that was never going to happen. It wasn't even a question and I took it as an insult that these people would even suggest that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because obviously the nature of the army is. You say yes, sir, when someone says ha-ha or you jump and someone says ha-ha, yes, sir, there's no talk back, there's no. Like you don't really have your own vision for what you want, you follow the instructions you're given and no questions asked. You follow the instructions you're given and no questions asked. And I think, like you say, for a lot of people, if it goes against your values, it depends what your values are, I suppose. Yeah.
Speaker 3:But majority of people, by the sounds of it, said yes.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I think it's… a rare thing to get through a military career with only one partner. Yeah. And anybody that's been in the military will attest to that. If you've been in 10 plus years or as you start to go up the ranks, there is a very real possibility that your partner, he or she, is not going to, for whatever reason, stick around, and it's not uncommon, it's a very, very common trend in the military.
Speaker 3:Yeah, You've got to dedicate a lot of your life and I mean kudos to anyone who is obviously in that position where you do dedicate a lot of your life to the military, because it's an incredible commitment that you're making.
Speaker 6:It's the other side too, shane, where the partners they have to be unique, they have to be stronger than the individual that's in, because I mean, I've seen friends of mine go overseas, do tours, deployments, things like that, and the partner's the one at home, keeping the house together, raising the children, doing all these things. And when we go out field for weeks on end, it's the same thing. They're responsible for all that and that gets overlooked a lot of the time by anyone that hasn't seen it. All we do is go off on our adventure, come home and then ruin the routine that the wife set up.
Speaker 2:So Essentially, they're the man of the house, they're the everything. They are the everything of the house.
Speaker 6:They are the house. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, it's such a beautiful concept that you speak about, obviously because you and your partner have been together for 21 years.
Speaker 6:21 years, yeah, 21 years.
Speaker 3:Which in today's day and age, is so rare, let alone the journey that you've walked through, even rarer. As you've just pointed out, you obviously met her before you went.
Speaker 6:Or she was still in high school. Actually, I was just out of school when I met her and then she told me when I was at basic training that we were going to have a baby. So just before I left to go to Darwin mind you, before everyone starts making stuff up, we did get weekend visits because I was in Sydney, she was only up at Newcastle, so we saw each other all the time, which was lucky for five months there. But I think the hardest thing for her was moving to Darwin, being very heavily pregnant when we moved there and then having a baby. Two months after we had our first child, I went overseas for three months, oh wow.
Speaker 3:So and yeah, as you say, the big family.
Speaker 6:She's very family centric.
Speaker 3:yes, and moving to Darwin. Her family would have been back here. Yep, yep, they been back here.
Speaker 6:Yep, yep, they were back here. We sent her back here after a time with the baby to come back here and be with everyone, because it was just going to be easier. Expecting somebody to raise a child on their own in a place where they've only lived for two months is just it's absurd yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean, yeah, testament to the relationship and obviously your guys' communication style, which obviously we mentioned, Dr Love old.
Speaker 2:Darren, yeah, yeah, 100%.
Speaker 3:He obviously is big on communication, so you guys obviously communicate really well together.
Speaker 6:She communicates and I listen.
Speaker 2:Shout out to Beck Van Nijmen. God bless her. How did she feel about moving to Darwin in that situation? What was her thoughts on all that?
Speaker 6:Oh, she knew it was going to be hard. But see, the story we were told was that if I took the isolated posting to begin with my second posting, we would get pretty well, free choice and we could choose where we wanted to go, which, again, for those listening at home, is a lie.
Speaker 3:As you said, you did not come anywhere near home.
Speaker 6:No, look, you read the brochure and the brochure isn't what actually happens. But that's fine.
Speaker 3:It's very candy-coated. Hey, it is.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Or sugar-coated, whatever you want to call it. Yeah, okay, so Darwin. And then from Darwin, you moved.
Speaker 6:Canberra, canberra and Sydney.
Speaker 3:And Sydney.
Speaker 6:And Sydney was. Yes, Canberra is where I started to really want to change jobs. I got hurt. I hurt my hip quite badly in Canberra and I was having a lot of back issues from Darwin. And that's where I sort of got more involved with the PT side of things, because a few of the guys at the gym really helped me out to, I guess, lose some weight, get stronger and start to get on the right path from that aspect.
Speaker 3:Become the Viking that you are today. So you obviously got injured. That was a big kind of thing for you. And how did you manage the injury from there? Because obviously you were still training, you were still in the army.
Speaker 6:I was overseas when I hurt my back. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Did the army like hearing the fact that you were hurt?
Speaker 6:I think that at the time it might have been mishandled. Yeah, Don't get me wrong, they'll still help me out with things. But the thing with the military and anyone that's been hurt in there will know you don't show it.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 6:You don't want to be that guy that goes to to the medical center to get assistance for this, that or the other. Um, you just numb the pain however you can and get on with it basically yeah, I think it's that whole.
Speaker 6:Don't show weakness side of it, you know yeah and people think that it's from the top down, that it's got nothing to do with the hierarchy or any of that. It's the guy next to you, because if you're not there, they have to do extra and it falls onto them, and you don't want that to happen with guys that you've been through so much with. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean, yeah, it's just that whole. I suppose that's that brotherhood that they refer to. Yeah, definitely, it's that whole concept of, and that's that brotherhood that they refer to. Yeah, definitely Is that whole concept of… and that's the one thing you miss when you get out.
Speaker 6:That's the biggest thing you lose.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think that's one thing that I've kind of admired about the military or the Navy or any form of service is that they talk about that lifelong kind of bond between guards who have served together. Yeah, because you do, you kind of go through the hardest of hardships with each other.
Speaker 6:Oh, it's everything. So me and a few of my friends came home from basic training one day and they came to my house where my parents are, and we were getting ready to go out on the town and he had one of us in the shower, the other one was using the toilet, the other one was brushing his teeth and my dad just looked at us thinking what the hell is going on. But that was normal to us yeah.
Speaker 6:We lived in each other's pockets for so long that it didn't seem strange. Yeah, it was just normal. It was just normal, yeah. Yeah, that's how close you like. You live with these people for 12 to 18 months when you're training and then, if they get posted with you, you just keep living with them. They're part of your family. That's just how it develops.
Speaker 3:Do you still have a lot of contact with those guys today?
Speaker 6:A lot of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely, and I don't think you can do it any other way. Yeah. It's ingrained in you so much that they're just never going to go anywhere. You just it's ingrained in you so much that they're just never going to go anywhere. You know, the network is, it's everywhere. So it's a good thing to hold on to.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's a beautiful concept I love that is one thing I really admire when it comes to the military or any kind of service kind of industry is that it is the kind of value that you guys hold on. Brotherhood is something to be admired and treasured, and I think the world could use a lot more of it without all the other stigmatisms attached to it that we have obviously mentioned. Yeah. But okay, so you obviously got this injury while you were serving overseas. Yeah. Came back, had to now manage this injury.
Speaker 6:So I guess the biggest thing I used was a lot of self-medication with alcohol and painkillers, and again, that was because I didn't want to admit to them that it was still hurting me. So they did treat me and it wasn't too bad. It would flare up from here to there and you know I would do rehabilitation stuff and try and self-manage it. Sleeping was something that never really happened. It would, you know. The pain would turn into a frustration which would turn into anger. So yeah, it was self-medication with either alcohol or painkillers, I guess.
Speaker 3:So obviously that's an interesting one. We obviously were talking about frustration and anger. That was something that obviously grew quite substantially during your time in the military. Yeah, yeah, do you want to share a little bit more in terms of that grew quite substantially during your time in the military? Yep.
Speaker 6:Yeah, do you want to share a little bit more in terms of that? I think the one thing I hid for a long time was that the job that I went into it was hard to get to be a PT. It used to be hard to get in there and it took a lot of work on my behalf to get there. So I would run up to 10Ks a day, six days a week. I would train multiple times a day and you still had to be selected to go down and do it. So there was always this pressure of you need to be better than everybody next to you, and when you fail at that or you misstep at all, and when you fail at that or you misstep at all, it puts a really big doubt in your mind.
Speaker 6:Once you finish, once I finish the training for that, you get to your first job role and you think, right, I've made it, this is where I want to be, I'm going to make a difference, and all that Only to find out that you're still not good enough. You know, like have instructors hiding around corners and taking over your lessons and telling you that you're not aggressive enough, you're not good enough, you're this, you're that. When you start listening to these people and falling into that trap, it turns you into a whole other person, and that's exactly what happened. So I changed completely from the person that everybody knew, from the person my wife met is gone. You know, it was this whole other man which I thought was good. He was an arsehole, essentially. That's the only way to describe it, you know.
Speaker 6:I was in the first time it really hit me. I was three days out from a competition and my wife I said well, what's you know? I kept pushing the point, asking what's wrong. What's wrong? She said you don't want to know. I kept pushing and then she said I hate the person you've become so how did that feel hearing that? Oh, that broke me. Yeah, that really did, but I needed to be told it.
Speaker 1:I wasn't.
Speaker 6:You know, I wasn't listening to anyone, I wasn't seeing it myself, I was just in my own little bubble.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I suppose, like you say, the army is a very critical place. Yeah, you're critiqued on everything, everything you do, everything you say, from the basic of basics, of doing a push-up, not doing it correctly.
Speaker 6:It's funny you say that that was one of my biggest roles.
Speaker 3:But yeah, it's a very critical place.
Speaker 6:I think the biggest issue they had was that there was no. The people, a lot of the people I won't say all of, because I had some really good superiors and some really amazing mentors in there but there were the other ones that you were met with criticism and aggression, but there was no direction after it. There was no, it was just, essentially, you're not good enough. That was rubbish, be better, okay. Well, what do you want? What do you want to see from me?
Speaker 2:Be all that you can be.
Speaker 6:Yeah, no, be all what they want you to be Fair enough.
Speaker 3:There was just like you say. There was just that critical nature that they would just give you, but there was no correction in that.
Speaker 6:Yeah, yeah, and it ended up. The funny thing was that they turned me. I fit the mould, I played their game, I turned into what they wanted me to turn into, and then they left. They got posted, the new group that came in. I was too aggressive for them. That's not how they wanted to do it. So now I'm stuck in limbo where they want me to go back to this person, but I'm too far gone now. I can't change my ways. This is who I am. You can deal with it like it or lump it. This is me, and that wasn't getting me anywhere either. So I sort of didn't know which way to turn.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so you're dealing with, obviously, the fact that you're still struggling with injuries. You're dealing with the fact that then your self-medication wasn't really working, because you were telling me that it was just increasing. Yeah, definitely To a point where it wasn't even becoming manageable.
Speaker 6:No, for me to be drinking a carton of beer a night or a bottle of spirits a night is absurd. It's absurd for anybody. Yeah. But at the time it was what I was doing.
Speaker 3:It was what you needed to cope yeah.
Speaker 6:Well, it's what I needed to numb everything, yeah, and switch it off even for however brief a period, yeah.
Speaker 3:And then obviously it would come out in aggressive spells, is what?
Speaker 6:you were saying yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3:And these were all obviously sparked by the fact that you were feeling anxious.
Speaker 6:Yeah, in any situation. In any situation, yeah.
Speaker 3:So the anxiety level would then spark the aggressive tendencies to come out, because you obviously felt threatened.
Speaker 6:It's because I didn't know how to deal with it. Yeah. I refused to face it. So I perceive it as, I guess, sort of a weakness which would turn into a frustration, and then frustration turns into anger, and here we are.
Speaker 3:It's quite interesting because obviously one of the things we had with a previous guest we were talking about anxiety and every person has anxiety. Yeah. It's natural because and we wouldn't be alive if we didn't have it because it basically it's what protects us. So, you dealing with anxiety, you have two kind of responses to that. You have fart or flat, and yours response was fart.
Speaker 6:Even though I can't yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but it was always fight, because that's what you're trained to do. Yeah you were trained to fight yeah, and so, like you say before the military, you were the most you would fly, but then the military came and they kind of redirected, rechanneled, reprogrammed you to be a fighter, and so it was now okay.
Speaker 6:Well, the aggressiveness came out yeah and you found these just in normal everyday circumstances, not only in the military are ridiculous things in cafes, in pubs, in, you know it had manifest and I guess my wife is unreal and identifying when I'm at that point and I need to leave. Um, my kids can do it now too, which I guess that's something I'm ashamed of to a point because they started to perceive that as normal where, oh, it's okay. You know, which is a big motivator in me getting my help now and changing who I am now, because I don't want my kids to think that it's normal to have those aggressive outbursts and be on edge when you're out in public. And it's not, you know, it's not comfortable, it's not normal for anybody.
Speaker 3:Well, when did you first realise that it was becoming a problem?
Speaker 6:I was at the war memorial it was probably the biggest one I've had where it's in the gift shop of all places. People kept walking in and looking at the things and being close to me and it just started to…. Trigger you, yeah, and my wife and the kids found me around the corner, standing there just looking out in the room not knowing what to do. Yeah, like right, we need to go, and you know we need to talk about this with somebody. So yeah, it was a weird thing.
Speaker 6:Yeah, it was a weird thing to have happen because you just you know you can't act like that. You can't be, like that. I was in a gift shop and all I wanted to do was just start punching holes in people because they were in my space. Yeah, you know, like it was absurd.
Speaker 3:And so what did that trigger for you? What did that start?
Speaker 6:More started me looking at myself. I mean, I spoke to, as I said, I spoke to a civilian psychologist.
Speaker 2:That's podcast, dog, sorry.
Speaker 6:And you know she was a lovely lady. She tried her best to help me out. I didn't. We didn't really jive all that well. Because she wanted to talk about breathing exercises and muscle relaxation, which is fine, you know, it has its place, yeah. But it wasn't what I needed. So, yeah, we did a bit here and there and we sort of parted ways and I did what I always did and just shoved it deep down inside there and left it.
Speaker 3:And carried on with life. Yeah.
Speaker 6:And then obviously left the military from there yeah you mentioned the fact that the reason for leaving the military was something your wife had said to you or promised that you had made your wife it's a promise I'd made to my wife that when our girls got to a point where they were schooling, it was really important for me to not move them around, because we'd move every two years. So it's not. You want to give your kids the best chance you can at succeeding and having a good, stable lifestyle, and that was, I guess, a line that I drew in the sand with her, that we just weren't going to do that. We were going to give our kids the best shot we could. So it was time for me to, I guess, put that part of my life behind me and move on.
Speaker 6:Originally, I decided to join the police force. After that Went to the mines for 12 months to do a traineeship, so that I had some backing, so that I had somewhere to go after the police or should the police not work out, whatever the case may be? And during that time there we had a good, really deep conversation between my wife and I where she expressed her feelings of how that wasn't a good idea for me to go to the police force and that wasn't a place that was going to suit a person like me. And it made a whole lot of sense and I can't knock her for it. I'm thankful she said it. I'm grateful that she brought it up because I really think it would have been another misstep in my journey and it wouldn't have led me down a conducive path to getting better.
Speaker 3:I mean, yeah, it's incredible that you guys could have that conversation and you be so understanding in it.
Speaker 3:I suppose, like you say, you were in a position where you were kind of investigating your triggers at the time and so when you had the conversation, about and ignoring yeah and ignoring, but you had started the journey and I think that's the key thing is that, even though maybe you were still very early onset into that journey the fact that you had started it and you were starting to pick up these little signs and little signals of things that maybe were the reason, even though you didn't really know how to deal with them at that stage but at least you were coming to the kind of source of it.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I think in the early days it was about controlling response. So if I'd feel my muscles start to tighten, my heart would start to race, any of these signs would start to occur. Be like right, I need to deal with this. I wasn't dealing with the situation, I was dealing with my response to it and learning to control that sort of thing. So that was my biggest thing and that's as far as I took it. Once I learned to control myself, to whatever degree, because it never always worked. That was it. That was good enough. We'll shelf treatment for I'm good, I'm fine, Not the case.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you said it all kind of came to a head, huh.
Speaker 6:It did, it did. It came to a head, probably 12 months ago, I think, where I was in the circumstance and you guys know what that was and you know it's not something I'll talk about but I came to a situation where my body started to react in the old ways. Being a civilian now, in the normal world, you can't respond like that. That's a response that will get you some shiny silver bracelets. So my mind, my body, wanted one thing, my mind wanted another and, yeah, I ended up just shutting down essentially into just a mess, just an emotional, physical mess of a person. Yeah, and I still didn't understand what happened. It wasn't until a friend of mine explained it to me that you know, my body wanted one thing, my head wanted another. I didn't know how to process the information that was going on, so I just my body just freaked out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was like a what's the word? I'm looking for Malfunction, hey.
Speaker 6:Yeah, yeah, it was just a big sensory overload and you didn't know what to do, so you just shut down and start again.
Speaker 3:So what did you do?
Speaker 6:Self-medicated. Yeah. Pretty well. I just started drinking again and you know this was. I think that lasted for about only a week or two weeks. It was a very short period because I've got people around me now that unbeknownst to me at the time, but I had people around me that had contacts. So I've got a new doctor that I've been speaking to for eight or nine months now and since the very first visit it's been just altering.
Speaker 6:It's changed everything the way I see, I guess, my conditions, my mannerisms, my mental health from the start, you know, and it was astounding how quickly these individuals turned me around.
Speaker 3:Do you think that it's I mean this particular doc that you're seeing now? Do you think that's telling you anything new? Or do you think it's just the space you're in now you're ready to kind of maybe take in more. You have more capacity to take in. I think it's just the space you're in now you're ready to kind of maybe take in more.
Speaker 6:You have more capacity to take in both. Yeah, I think there isn't. I mean, my wife will disagree with this, I suppose but there's an emotional maturity now bit more so. But it's also this doctor is is tailored to veterans and first responders, so he knows how to deal with more people that have come from a lifestyle that I have, and he speaks to you in such a way. He's very direct, he doesn't sugarcoat anything, he doesn't fluff around with it, he'll just. This is why this is what you're dealing with, this is what your emotions are happening and this is why you don't understand it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's so good I mean, it's the fact that you can even. I think that the greatest thing about it is that you didn't just give up after the first time seeing someone. You've persisted to a point. Now you found someone that fits you, and I think that's also key is that the first person anyone who might be going through something you might go sit with a psychologist or a therapist or a counsellor, whoever that person might not necessarily be the right fit for you. No. But that's not a sign to give up.
Speaker 6:It doesn't mean that there's not something out there.
Speaker 6:There's not you know there's not. Oh, I can't be helped. This person didn't help me, I'm gone, I'm a lost cause. Yeah, that's not the case. Yeah, I think you know there's nothing wrong with seeing multiple people to try and find that fit, that piece to your puzzle. That's going to make everything happen. Yeah, and it's not just one, you know, between family, the doctors, physical exercise, all these things come together and it's a whole package that helps you get on the right path. It's not just right. This is that one magic pill. This is going to fix everything. No, that's not a thing, you know. And even now, because I take CBD oil, now that has been remarkable for helping me sleep and sort of calming down all the different thoughts that might be going on in my head. But it's not that magic pill, it's a method, it's an assistance. It's one tool.
Speaker 6:It's one tool in the toolbox to help me get on the right track.
Speaker 2:My hat goes off to you, to be honest with you being a veteran and all that sort of stuff and actually seeking the help. So congratulations to you for actually reaching out so seriously because I know a lot of people that don't do that, so good on you for reaching out and seeking the help. I hope, yeah, I hope.
Speaker 3:My hope for you maybe, chris, if I can say this is that I hope you realize how proud you can be of the journey that you have walked, because you're a very humble guy. You don't like the spotlight on you, you don't like people to acknowledge you.
Speaker 3:Necessarily, when you do something, you're happy to just do stuff in the background, um, but I feel like you need to really own your journey in this and be like shit, yeah, I've done really well, I've done an incredible job. I'm so proud of me for what I've walked through and in that, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so I own my journey is what you're saying, um, and and when people ask you about it, to be really like happy and outspoken about the journey you've walked and and not shy away from you know the fact that you've had all these struggles yeah, um, because it's like I've.
Speaker 3:Like we said right in the beginning of the podcast, you're probably one of the most authentic, humble, genuine, like down-to-earth people we know, absolutely. And to hear your story and to still see all the things you've had to walk through and I'm blown away when I hear your story about how you've had to go through, I would have never thought there was an aggressive bone in your body and to hear the work that you've had to do to get through all of that to where you are now, I am incredibly proud of the person you are.
Speaker 6:Thank you.
Speaker 3:So I can only imagine the people that have walked the journey, like your wife. I can only imagine how proud she is of you and your daughters, who I know. You obviously, like you say, you do a lot of it for them.
Speaker 6:All of it is for the three of them. Yeah, I mean, the career aspect of me is gone now. I don't want to chase lofty heights of anything I'm doing. What I'm doing it's about being a better husband and a better father. That's all it boils down to.
Speaker 3:If I can do do those two things, then I'll be a happy man well, I mean ask anyone that's, you know, kind of been on their deathbed and I mean said, if there's one thing they could do differently, what would it do? And all of them said the same thing it was more time with family and and and loved ones yeah, yeah, that gets overlooked and I'm guilty of doing it in the past, with my last career.
Speaker 6:So I almost did it with this one, where I committed, I guess, too wholeheartedly and started chasing certain things, only to realise that I was going to repeat the cycle. It wasn't a good thing. So pump the brakes and focus on what we need to the more important things.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, I mean, I'm so, I'm pumped for you, if I can put it that way.
Speaker 2:I know If I've ever had dramas or anything like that, especially out at work, and all that I've always sort of you know lent on you. I know that because you're a good guy, you're very level-headed. So yeah, I know that because you're a good guy. You're very level headed. So yeah, I know you are, I know you yeah, you're not as rude as a beetroot, but seriously, you are.
Speaker 2:I classify you as a very good friend and someone that I can lean on if I need advice for anything, and I'm not just saying that because we're recording or anything. I'm actually saying that personally he really is just saying that because you're recording. No, I am, I actually say that because it's someone that, yeah, you've got a wealth of knowledge and I know that. Yeah, if I were in a bit of a stick low, I know I can always lean on you. And, yeah, because you're a very level-headed person.
Speaker 3:I mean I can only speak from, obviously, my own self, but I can obviously resonate what Sheva was saying. I mean, I still remember in my early days of working I came out and you were standing outside it was after a shift and I was just so despondent, I was just like I don't know if I can do this anymore. Oh yes.
Speaker 3:And I remember having a conversation with you and you just said to me it's like, one step at a time, don't worry about all the crap, don't let it get to you. Remember the crap, don't like, let it get to you. Like, remember why you're doing what you're doing. It's not to like, your career is just a career like you're doing it for the people that you love.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, and um, I still, I still remember that conversation clearly, um, and that's what the reason why I say that is because we didn't know each other very well at the time no, we didn't not back then, not back then and the fact that I just felt like I could have this conversation with you and you were so open to having the conversation is testament to the fact that I feel like you've got a real what's the word I'm looking for.
Speaker 3:There's an ease about you to just have a conversation and feel open enough to feel that security of having that conversation with you, where I didn't feel like what I was saying to you was going to be judged in a way that was going to get me in trouble or anything like that. But you were just so easy and authentic and just humble about it.
Speaker 6:Thank you Absolutely. That comes along with it. It comes along with doing your own journey and going through your own thing, where the hardest part is to be honest with yourself at the very beginning. And speaking to people doesn't happen unless you're honest with yourself. I think the biggest thing I had was even admitting to my wife that I was at that point, because I didn't want her to think I was soft or weak or….
Speaker 2:Less of a man type of thing.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I had all these thoughts, man, where I? You know I'm not going to talk to my wife about my emotions. What the hell. You know, but the fact of the matter is, you have to.
Speaker 6:Yeah, that's all there is to it. You are not going to get better if you can't face it yourself wholeheartedly. And it's confronting. You know, being told certain things about how you've acted and the way you've made people feel is a horrible thing. But you need to be told you need to, you need to face these things, you know, and that's, that's the truth of it at least for me it was the truth of it anyway.
Speaker 3:Just own the journey like you're saying you know that's right. It's it. At least for me it was the truth of it. Anyway, just own the journey like you're saying.
Speaker 6:You know that's right, it's happened. You know, all these things have happened, like I've. We've been to the point where we've lost everything. We've been. You know, I've had cars repossessed and been flat bankrupt, broke, lost everything. You know. And that's where you realise that financial bottom is not actually bottom. It's when you're in the corner of a room, shaking and not knowing how to respond to a situation or just respond to having to walk out of that room. That's a problem, that's a bad situation. You know it's putting things in. That's a bad situation. Putting things in perspective is the biggest thing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's the thing, it's perspective, like you say, I think with the finances there's always avenues to kind of get more finances If you need another job. You got to get a job and you kind of downgrade your car or whatever the case is, you always learn. There's different routes and avenues, whereas, like you say, when you're at the point where you're emotionally, you're at rock bottom, you don't know how to deal you. You just um, physically, you feeling rock bottom. It's just like, well, there's no other avenue to get out other than being like I've got to pull myself out of this.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I need help, yeah, I need help. And admitting that and saying that at the very initial stages, man, that's hard, that's a hard thing.
Speaker 3:Well, I take my hat off to you because it's an incredible journey. What does life look like now for you?
Speaker 6:Yeah, we're just getting around. Our two kids, my wife. We bought the caravan of our dreams and you know, every single chance we get, we load up and we're gone yeah yeah, and doing the little things yeah, just going anywhere
Speaker 6:yeah anywhere, typical. Just we'll point somewhere random on a map and we're gone. Or you know we're enjoying our life, we're not and we're gone. Or you know we're enjoying our life and we're not apologising for any of it, because where we came from to now having all the toys and you know, we have a house and all these things and our girls are, you know, working, and very successfully, I might add, and I'm proud of that. I can't have, I don't have any other words to put to that. You know, my wife and I will sit out the back of the house quite often having a drink at the end of a week, and you know how long these bloody weeks are.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, we do.
Speaker 6:But we look at all that. We just look at our house and everything and you sit there and you can't help but think to yourself look where we've come from and look where we are now. You know it's yeah.
Speaker 2:A couple of years ago, we were in a world of shit, and look at us now.
Speaker 6:Yeah, that's right, we've pulled through.
Speaker 2:A couple of years ago we had nothing, you know, and I find that that makes you stronger as well, because if you and Beck can get through all that hard times like man, look at us now. So yeah, that's awesome, so you just can. Yeah, your relationship could handle just about anything. Oh, yeah, yeah, so that's awesome.
Speaker 3:I think the testament here is the military was great and you obviously learned some really key things. Yeah. But your relationship has been such a testament to who you are and to where you've come from.
Speaker 6:Yeah, definitely, most definitely.
Speaker 3:It's literally stood the test of time.
Speaker 6:She's a patient woman. I'll give her that yeah.
Speaker 3:But at the same time, like there's obviously and I think this is maybe something for you to remember is she obviously sees something worth staying for, Because a lot of time you look at these situations and how it has gone the other way, where couples have necessarily split.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, you look at these situations and how it has gone the other way, where couples have necessarily split. Yeah, yeah, you know, beck obviously sees the value in you to, to want you to be better, and I think that's something that if I were you, I'd be holding on to that. Oh, most definitely so tightly, yeah, um, so congratulations well, thank you.
Speaker 6:I yeah it's. I'm very proud of it.
Speaker 3:I think we both are yeah.
Speaker 6:Because, like you say you see people now, that young people in particular. That one minor disagreement and that's it, righto, we'll part ways and see you later. And you know, 21 years straight out of school, through everything we've been through, it's a massive achievement.
Speaker 3:Beautiful. It's a beautiful journey. I can't wait to get you on in like 20 years time and hear the story about how you are the grandparents that are living two minutes away. I think. I think it's it's a beautiful journey and a beautiful story. So thank you so much, chris, for sharing.
Speaker 6:Thank you for asking me.
Speaker 3:It's been great.
Speaker 2:Really appreciate it. We just hope we can reach out and touch other veterans like yourself. Hopefully they're listening and they get the courage to speak up too. Yeah, it's a hard thing to come out into the normal world as we classify it and you're not ready for it.
Speaker 6:You think you are, but it's a bit of a shock.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, maybe let's end off with this, chris. What's the one bit of advice you want to leave to our listeners? I think, yeah, who maybe are in a similar situation or going through something similar, or maybe just resonate with your story.
Speaker 6:I think the biggest thing is that, as hard as it's going to be, you need to be ready to face it. But you also need to remember you're not facing it alone. You know and you have people you can ask for help.
Speaker 6:There's people everywhere that you know on the outside might look not approachable you know like you can't open up to these people or you might have close family or friends or anybody, but speaking to someone and starting that initial journey, as scary as it might be, that's the biggest key. Don't hide things down. I'm not saying don't tell everybody and be an open book not at all but find that person, Find that comfortable person that you know you can trust and has your best interests at heart, and have that chat have that conversation mean that's like yeah, beautiful, I think that is.
Speaker 3:There's nothing more I need to add into that. That was, that was great. I love that and I think people will resonate with that for sure. So thank you so much for sharing your journey. I'm gonna leave you with one thing from my side he's got the soundboard again.
Speaker 2:He loves that thing. Come on the Viking.
Speaker 3:I mean, I could literally see this as your backing track, as you're walking into work every day.
Speaker 6:You can set that up.
Speaker 3:No, chris, thank you so much obviously. Yeah, thank you much obviously yeah, thank you again. That was awesome gotta give it to you, yeah no, thank you so much for sharing your journey with us and for sharing your story. I hope that everyone listening can resonate with the fact that we don't have to necessarily live with the situations or the cards you've been dealt sometimes.
Speaker 6:We often are the ones that can control that yeah, you need to be in control of it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so that's amazing. Thank you very much. Thank you, yeah, shiv. Yeah, I was just going to add something, yeah, no.
Speaker 2:So if anyone like veterans and military people are seeking help, wounded Heroes is a great organisation that help out the people that suffer from PTSD and stuff like that that have come from the military. So, yeah, wounded Heroes. So I'll chuck their number out it's 1300 532 112.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, great organisation for, yeah, yeah, and we encourage anyone who maybe is in the military or not in the military or whatever it is. If there's something that resonated with you in this episode, whether it be relationship or anger or whatever it was, maybe, like Chris was saying, you're dealing with something in the wrong way, whether it be taking something dulling the senses that you were doing, reach out. There's plenty of organizations, obviously. The Wounded Veterans is one. There's, obviously, laugh Line is the big one that you can call. Their number is in the intro if you need it. There's Black Dog.
Speaker 2:Institute Beyond Blue. There's Beyond Blue.
Speaker 3:There's many, many and all have their various spaces or or kind of areas of um expertise as well, so, um, if you need reach out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't be ashamed, don't be ashamed, yeah um.
Speaker 3:It's the first step in in getting yourself um on a healthy journey. So thank you, chris again for everything appreciate it to everyone listening. Um, if you haven't already reach out on our socials, leave a lot on podcast. That's on Instagram, facebook and Shev's favorite, tiktok. It's shit, it is such shit.
Speaker 2:I only did that to get out I literally only made TikTok to get our name out there. That's it. Yeah, how's the TikTok going, are you?
Speaker 3:dancing. Oh, it's terrible.
Speaker 2:No, it's terrible yeah you'm going to sign off because I've heard enough. You enjoy Canada. Yeah, I'm going to.
Speaker 3:Thank you, make sure you stay safe. Stay safe, yeah, and yeah, a little extra one is I'm going to say before we sign off is to everyone be kind to one another, yeah, including yourself, and from us, yeah, leave a light on podcast.
Speaker 2:Leave a light on Stay safe and let's leave a light on.
Speaker 1:Leave a light on Awesome. Hey, thanks for listening. We hope you managed to gain some insight from today's episode. Jump onto our socials and reach out, and until next time, wherever you are, let's leave a light on.