How to Get a Gig in Comedy

WOAH! So you're telling me you want Joel Temperly and Sharam Namdarian to tell you how to get a gig in comedy?

What japes, what jests.

Seriously though, it can be quite difficult. If you're NOT a comedian, you might find this insightful anyway. You're trying to get stuff going on, you're a hustler, lead into hustle culture by people trying to sell you things. Maybe you're somebody who's trying to break into a new scene in an age of the internet where everything is just a bit to hard because people are more socially inept than ever before.

FRET NOT gentle listener, for this is for you.

Let the BEST FRIENEMIES SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS! 

CHAPTERS:

0:00 Welcome to Best Frenemies (Outdoor Episode!)  
3:52 Craving Real-Life Experiences Again  
7:46 Avoiding the Thing Everyone’s Talking About  
11:38 Booking Gigs and the Comedy Hustle  
15:31 The Vibe of Where We're Filming  
19:24 Who is Cameron Muratore and why is he here?  
23:18 Supportive Friends vs Silent Judgers  
27:10 Bombing Stories and Lessons Learned  
31:03 Australian Comics Struggling Overseas  
34:57 Joel’s Imaginary Fans and Delusions  

Transcript

Sharam Namdarian: 0:00

welcome to best frenemies my name is Sharam and this is uh also Sharam is this welcome to double Sharm is this our first outdoor episode uh this is our first outdoor episode yeah we're getting some very uh strange justifiably strange looks and I'm gonna be like this the whole time I think we're gonna get more followers from just people following us on the street yeah we're gonna get added to uh lists for this uh good list this war crime we're about to commit in the middle of Collingwood here and what war crime might that be well I'm just I mean I already get nervous going into Collingwood not for the reasons my dad told me I would be cause his Collingwood was very different to the Collingwood that I've come up with we are on the shanky end of Collingwood no I meant more like we're well the opposite I meant more like we're in the very it's very rainbow here and oh okay just the look of me I'm surprised I haven't you're quite rainbow I'm surprised I haven't burnt to a crisp just sort of by coming out here in broad daylight coming out so to speak in broad daylight um I'm gonna be very real I think you would be very you would look really interesting with different colour in your hair I used to dye I dyed my hair black OK and that was really Gothic I dyed black hair black hair that's black hair black hair I do black hair I was actually thinking of dying my eyebrows just to have some variation and some creativity we look like such speaking of creativity we look like such creator wankers right now like yeah someone's gonna you know there's probably a there's probably a father and son on their way from the back from the footy down at the MCG and the dad's kind of like rallying against all these young people who are too busy on their Instagram and their TikTok and all their Snapchats and all that and then dad it's not that bad okay and then they drive up Smith Street and it's they just see us doing a pod yeah but then the father is like I could connect with my son by making a podcast with my son that's what all the kids do is that the new um is that the new play catch with your son yeah it's like creating a podcast the son comes downstairs one day and the dad set up a pod studio there's a montage of the dad setting up the pod studio overnight and the kid comes out and he looks up from his phone and the dad's there with the the mic and everything like hey son are we doing it we're doing this we're gonna call and yeah the son's like podcast aren't cool anymore dad yeah cause cause it's an our generation thing this is making me sad I can just picture my dad doing this for me yeah my dad wouldn't still doesn't know what a podcast is so that's completely at the uh that's different between you and me at the pub quiz I host the lady oh we just pub quiz I host yeah the lady started chatting with me and the the manager there and she's like she asked me this question she said but I don't know how we got onto this topic but she asked me do you listen to podcasts like and I just sort of maybe like you you said your dad doesn't know what a podcast is still but he thinks my day job is I'm paid to just eat food on camera prove him wrong yeah well okay well you know it's a lot more complex than that every time I see you online is just you with like black gloves yeah that's pulling apart meat ice that's iceberg you go iceberg yeah the face I have perfected the food face yeah just wait wait this week you're gonna see some amazing food faces inside voice Sharon no we're outside I can finally use my outside voice you know you always I need the people in these buildings to know about your outside voice this is the best frenemies podcast no but was it good she asked me like do you listen to podcast which I guess some people see I just it's fun it's like do you listen do you do you do you read the news I mean I actually that's a bad example some people actually don't do that but um yeah but I thought like I thought we'd entered a world where maybe podcast weren't like sort of a like the the the kids are calling them podcast I thought we'd pass that I thought we were sort of like everyone listens to you know well I think it's gonna have we're gonna have an analog resurgence where podcast become like an old person thing and the new kids are doing yeah things more in real life because like where the internet to me is a blip yeah do you know what I'm like AI is gonna flood the internet with crap yeah and then people are gonna crave in world things like yeah there I say comedy radio oh yeah no yeah radio well no I mean like yeah like things that you can't yeah I tune into like so my girlfriend is still kind of learning to drive OK this is nowhere near the theme of the episode we agreed upon before we yeah that's fine but this is fine we'll get into it basically she isn't very confident like she doesn't wanna worry about the Bluetooth and connecting to her phone and yep whatever so she just she just listens to the radio yeah and sometimes when I jump in the car the radio's on it's like Eastern FM like the community station out in the east of Melbourne and they're just playing whatever and I'm like I can see the beauty of that like it'll be like jazz night on Eastern FM and I'm like I won't I'll be like oh let's I don't listen to jazz often I wanna and people would argue that well the algorithm throws in shit like that based on I think though and I'm not the first person to come to this conclusion I'm sure but like the algorithm's too we want you we want you to listen to things you like things you like things you like yeah I don't want things I like yeah I kinda wanna be punched in the face a couple of times yeah I had a joke about it where I was like I don't want what I like I suck like I want different shit cause I think well how did you get into what you do like yeah you didn't like it from the it wasn't some from the you know hmm it wasn't I don't think it was nature I think you think it's nurture you sort of you you start listening to something maybe you like it for the wrong reasons cause ah Sharam likes it then I like it too cause Sharam's cool but basically you know I it's stuff like that but you get into shit they just it's just forced down your throat or your ears so well I saw there was a fun have we been funny yet this isn't funny haha no no this is informative this is the informative episode we'll talk about what the episode's about in a second but I want to tell you there was a I passed a hipster cinema recently or today and I was looking at it was like oh there's all these they're gonna play all these movies from like 1960s or something that was even more weird than that but it was I don't know the name but what I found interesting about is like I could just stream all of these movies at home but the fact that it's exclusive to a time and a place and a thing made it more interesting it's like a my girlfriend again today was saying uh yeah I get laid uh my girlfriend was saying uh every so often my uh she was saying uh one day she was saying that what was she saying that you well she went to yoga and she's like why don't I do it at home it's like well you wouldn't do it you don't do it at home that's why you go to yoga at the gym cause you it's like I should do this at home I have the mat I have all the equipment you know the brick that you use and all the and the elastic stuff to stretch and like you have it all at home I'm like and she's like and we're like yeah but you wouldn't do it at home so like you wouldn't you wouldn't stream if at a home you yeah but but you walk past this gay cinema showing this wanky film festival and you're like yeah that sounds cool yeah I like that's the best thing I wanna go to next bit of advice leave watch SBS I watch SBS World News every night cause I like to like I like to you like to be I like to be that's such a prick I watch mastermind then I watch the SBS World News I'm such a wanker but then after that it's some random ass shit like have you ever watched SBS prime time no

Joel Temperly: 6:55

30 it's like you know like um Tutankhamun's Lost Pyramids followed by Angola's railway yeah then a documentary on like the Uzbekistan royal family it's yeah crazy and it's awesome and there's something about limited choices where there's a person who has only X amount of time to fill the slots but also it's not infinite algorithm hey what's this episode about yeah in this episode of Best Frenemies we're gonna be talking to you specifically on how to get a gig in ah Melbourne or in comedy is that the episode that was the premise that was the premise that look he suggested yep do you like the premise yeah I mean the fact that we were talking about nothing to do with that premise for the first 20 minutes of this episode Yep tells me the level of passion I have for the premises well let me tell you what I like about the premises we don't have to talk about it itself but we can talk about what I cause I think that if we did a podcast that showed people I think how to get a gig we'd solve so many problems like like you know we might disagree on a few things here yeah I know that's good that's good and I just did want to chime in and say this is probably the most best frenemies this pod has ever been as in we might argue the whole time well right now I feel like the sort of like yeah I don't know about this idea you know I just feel like we got a real Stadler and Waldorf thing happening look it up kids look it up finally yes you got that reference right no but I get Muppet Show it's an odd couple the old the old guys from Muppet Show yeah that's it can I just put it before we get into the actual meat of this episode can I put this to you that um and this is gonna sound very old man yelling at cloud yeah but like yell at that cloud generation Zuma yeah they I I don't think any I don't think millennials did this as much they define themselves so much by their youth the whole I'm young it's like their whole personality which is the Zoomer generation that's the Gen Z below millennial probably below us I get but OK yeah you're 31 I'm 34 so you were born in 1990 yes so I think you're just a millennial yeah OK so you're saying that the younger they're like look how young we are yeah the one that well I think I come at it cause I'm at a pub OK this is getting up maybe this is no no no this is the pub this is it no I just I just I just wanted to get that in there as a thought that I've had recent cause it bugs me cause I go I host a lot of pub quizzes yep and I'm really like look how young I am and then I'll ask them a question like who was you know when did uh when was Pluto discovered and it's like 1930 fuck for those playing at home and then you know a table of youngsters will be like ah that they'll be like I'll be and the answer is 1930 and they'll be like ugh we're young oh a lot of that shit I'm like so yeah what they're saying is we're afraid we're alone we're too young to know anything please help us yeah it's a cry for help yeah it is it's a desperate plea they're like I'm scared don't you have like did you know that life existed before we existed yeah don't you have a thirst for knowledge like I thought at least a little bit like it feels like trivia people would have a thirst for knowledge yeah well there's that complicating factor too that we're at a trivia night so I'm surprised you're not like why'd you okay that's the whole point of yeah this but I just find a lot of the zoomers don't quite they define themselves by their youth to a degree that I don't think millennials have or did and I feel like that's gonna bite them in the ass in a big way down the track cause what you you don't stay young yeah you don't alpha well the next gen down alphas maybe there'll be technology to keep them I've got a like an interesting thing I don't know are you the same how old are you 37 yeah so we're are we the same maybe you relate to this maybe you won't I think my generation was defined by being told that we're special we can do anything yeah and I'm learning at with every fucking day I'm like I am not special and that's actually cool yeah that's so good yeah so I just got really nervous cause there was a white guy walking past in an Aboriginal T-shirt I was like don't say anything that will offend him but basically which could probably would be anything but basically I um alright yep I anyway uh yeah sorry did we do the welcome to country before we should have done that no we don't we don't have a damn it damn it sorry sorry sorry about that sorry Freddy uh basically yeah hahaha uh it's fine let's let's do a page let's do a patron dedicated to her anyway uh basically I uh you can edit that out if you want but whatever uh I'm not here for editing never yeah if you said sure I'll edit it out that would have been the end of the episode you going like no we're leaving that in I respect you yeah to a new level it's more out of laziness than out of all out of wanting me to self destruct so cause one less comedian to compete for spots for that is what I do one do you know what end of the season means means people leave to uh they go to Edinburgh that's been a month isn't it yeah everyone's leaving some people are staying my life easier because when I book gigs I now have to think of slightly less people not gonna name names but the people who go uh there's they I'm like you're going anyway uh as in well like what are you doing over there moving there or going and no just like just performing and yeah must mucking around and stuff maybe edit this part out I don't know no no no one knows who you're talking it could be you it could be me yeah it could be Joel are you going over no I don't wanna lose I feel weirder about the last 30 seconds and the 30 seconds before that I don't know let's make it a little bit more weirder no no but some of the people who move to Edinburgh and then stay there are to me they're always like the some of the best comics yeah which is also annoying cause I'm like now there's less people for me to worry about but they're the good ones yeah which means if you're going to Edinburgh and you're not staying what does that say about you we're really good at looking at the camera I'm really bad at that because I'm inclusive I'm including them in the journey hello how was your day been we love being really good we love inclusivity no it's inclusive in a different way I'm actually including them because this is an entertainment they're the third party yeah you know what I mean hmm we're not just I voted yes yeah so anyway so what I'm trying to say here is the reason why I think this podcast will be a good one is because imagine the journey you went on yeah do you know what I mean like when you started and no one like do you know what I'm trying to say like yeah what information would you want to we could have been five minutes into a good chat about how to get gigs in Melbourne instead I've just decided to self destruct but hey let's get into that why did you decide to self destruct uh yeah I actually wanted to talk to you about OK let's talk to your anger on stage as well what anger well we know but I I think hahaha I mean specifically like what you ask what I think you have a fight or flight reaction that leans into fights is this about last week when I performed a dirty and I just gave up or uh no you you're going well'cause I didn't get angry at them I was just like you guys are pretty no no no I know I've just I've just every time I've seen you uh crack it or you get mad at the audience I'm often like I wonder if it's a fear response like you're like you're not you don't feel like you're in control and instead of being afraid your default is I'm just gonna blame them or get mad at them well for starters I would argue I haven't got um when was the last time I got mad at an audience and I it wasn't funny and I felt bad about it probably I'm trying to go through the no I think lately I've been pretty okay I don't it's more it's internalized and it's more a defeat sort of okay yeah and then and then off stage I'll tell all you guys like man what the hell yeah yeah yeah it's it's off stage what is with the oh well there you go off stage is different to on stage on stage I don't get actually I push back when people are say oh Joel gets angry at the crowd that hasn't I did I use there are few times where I did that this is me being inclusive Joel is now a uh reformance comedian who doesn't get mad at the audiences I I bottle it up and I drive home and I take it out on my loved ones that's the healthy thing to do so you make it comes out in memes yeah I don't know it comes out it means actually you take it out on the comedian you know what that's what happens a good example on the Friday before last I bet if you look at the time stamps there was me at comedy in the cellar and then about two hours later there's a meme uploaded that's probably me at home making a meme yeah you're like I hate everyone here I hate the audience I was making a meme before the episode this episode yeah you were yeah who were you mad at today oh no that was a different one that was just I saw a funny I watch gangs of New York you'll see I'll upload it after this you will see anyway let's get back to the topic come on so you know I really think that having information like if I there was so much information that I wish I had that I had to piece together that I think would have made me far better as a like like for example like oh wait sorry were you looking for a response no yeah I'm trying to you know bounce off each other I was just looking at where we're sitting it's just the dumbest fucking art it is pretty annoying I hate art um what park are we in what's the name of this park I don't know fucking but it's a good park it's got these weird chairs that we're sitting on Joel likes to think we're in a weird band promo promo photo yeah I don't know what yeah oh yeah actually I did I said I said it before actually that was a good example of why you should save it the juice for on air is I said we look like we're in a Bombfunk MC tribute band and then I started singing B Boys Fly Girls yep and I was like of course that is the juice he's talking about and of course when you just being empty calories as some vitamins and of course Boomfunk MC when you think of Boomfunk funk MC you think of B Boys Fly Girls not um freestyler yep freestyler oh I can't sing too much to that one you're right this is the juice no you can sing it here straight from the top I don't know the words a rock rock rock rock rock rock a microphone you know that one yep it started off with the freestyle so how do we get gigs um well come on it's your premise idea you you OK you I'll you you ramble and I'll tap in I was trying to stretch it out to the introduction as much as I could but I just couldn't hold on anymore uh long story short I think I have the idea of it it is like a balloon right there's energy and you're either taking from the balloon or you are adding to the balloon and the balloon here is the gig and the gig runner are you taking from it or are you adding to it are you saying that to make me angry that's no I'm take saying it because because when people ask me for a spot red just the minute they're taking the minute you said it's like a balloon I just like red just went a mist just went like that I'm taking energy and they're not providing energy cause you know one way to provide energy to a gig is to start a gig run a room make the make make it better for example if you're really funny you just make it better some people just that good you know can I let me um on a point of order Mr Speaker I would say uh I'd say this is a woman started walking towards us and I'm like oh what did I say yeah what didn't I say what do you believe about the balloon well well that's no I just just the using analogies just triggered me it's like yeah but like basically what's wrong with the balloon analogy no no well you agreed with it nothing is wrong with the balloon analogy but basically I would say um most people are funny like as in but humans I think yeah humans in general are funny but it's just so so what I'm trying to say is if you're funny it doesn't really make a difference cause everyone on their day kind of can tell one with enough application there are some there are some fools but most people if they apply themselves can come up with a couple of funny jokes yeah that will that will make them and I'm not saying I'm above all this by the way I'm not saying no no no I'm saying we will bomb yeah I I bomb I'll bomb in a couple of hours at yeah you will bomb in a couple of hours yeah but basically I uh will uh you know basically basically not as bad as he will but basically I was gonna say um that's okay it's my most people are like oh he's really funny it's like it's like the movie Zero Dark Thirty when um they're deciding whether to believe Jessica Chastain has found uh Osama and uh James Gandolfini says you know what do you think of Jessica Chastain and and um the that his offsider says uh huh she's smart and he turns to him and goes and he turns to him and goes we're all smart Jeremy yep and and it cause we're all funny we're all smart is that Cam Murtagh we have a special guest today on the Best Friend of Me's podcast we have Raw 2020 5 4 4 where can we watch that on SBS Filipino on SBS Filipino SBS On Demand um you gotta get in the camera this might be our big how do you get a gig um with this is the epic premise of this video I don't think he said his name say your name uh Cameron Muratory Cameron Muratory I thought my name was did you just start this uh 19 minutes ago yeah what have you been talking about so far uh we haven't taught anyone how to get any gigs we've been trying to get there but he didn't like my uh metaphor to get gigs uh get good at comedy don't be um a straight white male that's a good one yeah which is what you are not well I'm really leaning into the whole Italian Italians will be black again in a few years don't worry about that I pierced both my I pierced both my ears you try like I get it I did the other ear too make them think maybe he's bisexual I'm not but you know confusion confuse them so maybe I can get more and more queer lineups or yeah really are you queer no no not at all okay um well now if you want to give me more spots to do are you from north or southern Italy your family uh southern oh that you're black yeah yeah yeah what are you excuse me what are you ha ha um I mean imagine if that was the line after all this time like excuse me uh nothing I'm I'm not even I don't even I can't even get a British passport cause I'm so Australian it's so shit I'm descended from convicts you see yeah OK you lost interest no I lost interest so this is why we talk about it's a balloon you're either taking from a gig you're drawing air out of it or you're adding to it and the diversity being funny are you can you know that yeah he's obsessed with this balloon analogy it's a good balloon well I didn't hear the start of the balloon now yeah that's the balloon that's the balloon did you like me just tap out when he said comedy is like and you just tap out you're like no no but that's it that's it cause here's the thing we all suck we don't know what comedy is okay this is what I'm saying no no you were saying we're all funny I'm saying on the I'm saying yeah I'm on well if everyone's funny then everyone sucks if you know what I mean there's a spectrum I'm getting I'm getting some nods from here from the town I think we're all we're all on the spectrum as well yeah and we all I'm not actually we all suck we all probably won't make it but it's about the friends you make along the way guys he's real this is him sucking up thanks for I'm seeing him the gift alright I'll let you guys yeah that was fun that was

Cameron Muratore: 21:26

00 OK so you know yeah alright go stand out the front of the bar awkwardly yeah make it look good yeah you'll fit right in what a great uh what a great guest spot we had that's our first guest uh hopefully not the last god that was a glorious two minutes so I think this podcast should be pinned in your um your your group chat it's not my group chat it is it's the oh it's not just your group chat isn't it yeah anyway uh balloons yes the balloon right are you yeah are you taken from it yeah I get what you mean are you giving something or are you taking away yeah well cause I would say the quickest way well back to my point yeah which was clearly the more prescient point is that you don't you know everyone's like camera saying everyone sucks I came up from a different angle I said everyone's funny everyone sucks same thing same two sides of the same point yeah it's we're all equal so you gotta have another angle so what's the angle yeah uh and unless that's fair that's unless look I don't want to sound like a cynic but unless you got look I love the diverse gigs the diverse gigs actually make for a more interesting show I'm just but so I agree and if you have that card up your sleeve like play it I would play it if I had that diversity card I'm only one of two Zarah Strauss and comedians there you go I don't know why you don't play it well you got on the Asian gig yeah yeah I got on the Asian gig so there you go that's good I wouldn't begrudge that at all no I'm not and um but but you sounded very defensive there no I was just thinking about when I was on a diversity lineup and and uh I was brought on as the only white guy on the list yeah and I thought that was really funny ironically the person who brought me up was blind but I think the name Sharm el Sheikh should have been a giveaway yeah and I turned my entire set into a rant about how I'm there's three blind people on the lineup and I'm the only Zoroastrian person on the lineup yeah and I thought it was it every it was it worked it worked so fucking well the next act is a Wi-Fi password yeah okay but basically look and run it like so you gotta do other things in addition to yeah you gotta be supportive and that's what I mean like by funny I I adding to the balloon I think there are some people that genuinely will improve a gig hmm they usually the people who are veterans or people who've been around for a while yeah yeah or diversity things like that yep but if yeah no I I was just saying like some easy way to start like I've seen guys do it just they they realize ah seems like if I start a gig I can parlay to get on at other gigs which yeah is has its own problems because I think we lack there's this thing in where I used to work at the in economic regulation yeah called but stay with me called vertical integration where it's like it's it's too you know you've the you're the boss and the participant we don't want that too much because you know you got a lot of gigs where you look at the lineup and you go like what and you go oh you realize oh that person runs a room that person runs a room it's all it's they're not booking it for quality they're booking it because oh that person helps them that person helps them that person helps them so there's other problems with that too but basically how it works in Melbourne is if you've got a gig it's half decent you know you you will be able to parlay for a trade for spots well that's one way well that's why I like the idea of a balloon because there are so many people who are asking I find constantly that that I literally cannot get back to everyone and it and it's just like it's draining it's hard it's hard to get back and it's like when I don't respond it's not because I'm I hate the person or I don't even think they're it's not because of that it's just because there's different people that I've got to get back to everyone when I look back on messages I received when I first started in Melbourne and it was numb sorry uh I started here on the lands of the koala nation I there we go we finally we did the welcome to the country I yeah yup and uh then I call me Uncle Joel but there I then I uh I I lost track I was trying to be funny ha ha um are you talking about no I got messages from room runners and I found them to be very a bit short and rude and and uh and I was like wow what the fuck and now now being a few more years in and that uh I did you did the people who watching the video saw that guy while passing to me check my bag pretty obviously he's probably the least likely candidate I don't wanna pro I don't wanna profile people he's already he's already got a bag why would you steal my bag oh he doesn't need two bags that's crazy but yeah but yeah but but like now I understand it because the amount of messages you do get you get so many messages yeah and this why you make it easier you like hey can I MC or can I support or so so there's another one don't be a butt hurt when someone doesn't reply to you or leaves you on read yeah uh a little bit cause if you are if if this is what I've learnt if I can't say no to someone if I say no to someone and they get hurt or I say not yet that's worse now now you've even you've punished me for saying no another piece of advice I don't know how this you can decide how this fits in your balloon analogy but basically the good balloon analogy like go hang out at gigs as much as you can yeah yeah that really paid off in the end I don't do that as much or as I used to but um if you just if you're not booked or not on the lineup go to the gig and just you know just hang out for I did that at funny in a bunny for a lot of the time I just on a Monday go to funny in a bunny I yeah you should yeah I don't do that enough with a straight face I would it's easier now cause it's there's the band room and there is a place to sort of hang you can even just go backstage and hang in the green room they're not gonna stop you you know you can hang out with the book acts it's no but I remember back when it was in the um narrow bar and it was like in the middle of winter and I just be standing out the front I don't smoke but just standing out the front yeah with a drink just hang with the smokers going on hey how was your set did you have a good set and I'd stand there and it was like looking back I'm like that was crazy I just drive 40 minutes to funny near the bunny yeah an hour of hanging and then another and drive 40 minutes back but I think it kind of paid off cause it shows you're in while your intentions are you alright yeah I'm just I want you to finish I want you to finish this point then I'm gonna reset the camera while your intentions are a little bit self serving it still shows you know it can be both it doesn't it you you you pressing the flesh you're networking but it's also yeah you're also making up the crowd you're also filling the room making it a better gig so I don't go on give me one second yeah yeah uh yeah you like this wait is this been good yeah I think this has been good have you learnt a thing if you have learnt a thing let us know and if you haven't actually learnt any call in yeah uh we have a mail bag um you make a point then I'll make a point ah here's what I think I think this is maybe me overthinking this is called points with charm and Joel yeah we we have it at the end of every episode I think and this might be stretching it I haven't fully thought this out yet that as Australians where we're because we're a youthful nation dare I say we're often looking up we're often looking up at other countries and we don't want to be seen as trying too hard so like we'll look at things like oh do you know that person was on Kill Tony that comedian was on this thing that comedian was on that thing but we're not really looking at the people who actually run the thing and so it's like I don't think we value running the thing as much as we value being chosen by a person who runs the thing it's easy to to get hired than it is to start a business yeah and so we value being chosen but fuck it start a thing do the thing who cares run your own it's like it's like a restaurant like do you wanna be a chef who gets hired yet or do you wanna what's your goal here you mean like even if it even if it ends after a couple of weeks you've at least tried yeah you've at least tried yeah cause the goal here is to perform so that should be the point I was also gonna say a guy like um some guys start these rooms and they don't last but I think it signals I often sometimes I hear like there's sort of a back of the bus attitude like when a new comedian tries to hang out and and we're all who've we're all mates and we've been in it for a while and it's sort of all they're a bit cold to me and I'm like no they just don't know you I remember I had that I had that when I first started I was at the in 29 in when I came back to Melbourne late 2019 and I was like I don't know anyone I just stood around awkwardly but um there is a bit of that they just don't know you but if you can sort of and of course we live in a world now where it's a bit weird you know you don't go up and be like don't be too like extrovert and be too you know what's who's that what's that guy's name Dale Carnegie how to win friends and influence people oh yeah yeah yeah don't be like hi how are you I'm a yeah yeah yeah smile eye contact that's that's lame don't do that be cool yeah I reckon just just show up to the gigs and and hang out show signal in various ways that you are um sane safe that that you're alright Jeez woman Jacker but basically you know what I mean but basically like you you're actually a real this isn't like some hobby you actually wanna yeah do it yeah cause I think I think people are very short with people who are like oh you're just here to tick the bucket list box yeah there are some people and people often don't take you seriously because so many people die in comedy all the time I remember once I hit one year a bunch of people were like oh you still around and they just started connecting with me that's the other thing I want to say Nick Kwan shout out he made he once said Bobby peel's he on stage during his set he was like just marvelling at like or not marvelling but terrified why who are all these new people and he's like it's amazing he he said at the time he I've been doing this 10 years and honestly guys just stick around eventually even the good ones quit and then you're all that's left if you just that's that's probably what I've been thinking honestly it's depressing cause it's not due to any necessarily any skill just don't give up yeah because often and often I find this sometimes it's not the good ones quit because they they don't they hit the ceiling and they realize oh fuck that's it yeah and they go oh that's that's it I and the next step would be moving to Edinburgh to Edinburgh you know to to UK or America and they just can't do that so they're like oh fuck that and they're almost too smart for it they they got too much going on or they get a writing job or yeah a good they might get sort of promoted out of comedy in a way stand up comedy I mean and so if you just hang around long enough you will eventually you know I've had a couple of gigs recently where it's like I don't feel like I've got on this on merit I feel like I've just hung around long enough yeah and that actually makes me sad because I wanted it's that sad on merit I wanted it I wanted to earn my space but I've just hung out long enough and I'm here and on that topic you know why they call it the Melbourne comedy scene because it's where you fucking get seen that's it you just seen it's eyeballs they just need you just need to have your eyeballs on you and be like yeah you're really going for that uh like thumbnail uh you know the the the title for the for the Instagram do a face do a face no you gotta do it like like that yeah and then we have like the title and then you have seen and then slash scene in the two different spellings yeah great beautiful that's the thumbnail I love it and it's gonna be called how to get gigs in the Melbourne comedy scene like but in the scene yeah yeah and then we'll tag it in the group chat yeah and then everyone will watch it and they will have four minutes of value in a 30 minute podcast sitting here in this park in a the People's Republic of Collingwood I'm worried this gesture was kind of like gonna be misinterpreted as some racial thing like oh what's he doing the eyes no I think you're too vigilant with that I don't think that's I'm terrified I don't think that's I'm so scared you're like what if I blink is blinking a bad thing I'm wearing a soccer top no that's because you're sports toxic Ew I'm wearing it ironically he's not wearing it ironically yeah he has a soccer body how much more time do we have we got time to get a watch that's how much time I meant I meant that in a positive way this is actually pretty good we can we can talk for 5 10 minutes shame no one listens to this but anyway you know but they will any other any other ways to get I think in the end we've actually look then there is a thing of asking messaging um messaging is over priority of asking in person cause often yeah like cause fuck it just don't be too pushy yeah there is don't be pushy that's lame eventually that that that will lead to you being sort of like uh they'll remember you in a bad way yeah yeah yeah I've seen people be pushy like haggling for stage time and I'm like that wasn't cool just uh yeah you know um also a little advice if you are running a room um the first the first gig is different to the rest or the first two gig like first two gigs especially the first gig is different to the rest of the gigs don't book your mates for the first gig the first gig is ask a favour from like some of the big dogs it puts you on the map the first gig is usually the best and and also it not just to maybe get people but also just so the bar is or wherever the venue is pretty happy with it like you know they're not yeah they're not like that was shit they like they still might think it's shit because you know there's no one's beyond bombing even if you get the best in fact if you get a killer in there like who like hey message someone from the Comics Lounge or something go hey man I'm doing this new gig I love what you do I'd really appreciate you come down I can't pay you any money maybe but yeah like I'd still if you got free time I'd love you to come down they probably still gonna get out their notebook and try shit but yeah but they're trying shit is good that but but on the flip side of the same coin they might still bomb doing that but um you know at least you're giving yourself the best chance but if you just book your mates you just it's a brutal time where you kind of gotta be you know you get messages going like do you run that room and I'm like yes and you're like can I get a spot and you're like yeah but not the first one yeah not the first one yeah yeah not the first the first one is for the killers here's what I've learnt as a someone who books I've learnt that you can say no to someone and still be friends with them hmm which is very was very hard for me to get my head around I I still hate it but it's the same thing so if you if you can say no to someone and still be friends with them that's still that's it doesn't mean it's nothing it's it's a no means no yeah no means no but it doesn't mean we're not friends yep Joel's nodding to people that aren't actually around no means no he's nodding to the the he's hyper vigilant can we add some um applause to that part okay go say no means no again on applause I firmly believe that no means no this is weird it sounds like a it sounds like I mean no I don't like this anymore I don't like that it just sounded like like when we started taking it more seriously yeah that was a I don't know that made me feel weird inside yeah um I'm gonna make a meme about this alright so if you could give people one and piece of advice on how to get gigs in Melbourne be undeniable yeah be undeniable yeah no no um be a um well I mean just uh persist persist it sounds so shit persistence I say soft persistence not hard start a room yeah start a room be have faith that if you just hang around for 5 6 years eventually you'll just be whatever's remaining you know why not yeah who gives a shit and mine is ask yourself the most important question are you a balloon no are you taking from the balloon or are you adding to the balloon yeah you're not the balloon is it a hot air balloon or a it's a party balloon party balloon the helium no no no no it's just air who cares it's the scene and the the room is the balloon there's two balloons they cross over uh it's like a Venn diagram of balloons that's my thing just ask that oh just picture the balloon squeaking when they touch like well stop touching the balloon yeah and the electricity hey Joel are we friends yet or are we I mean honestly this is the best this is the most uh I reckon this is the the this podcast is the like you know when there's like personification this is the podcastification of what we're trying to be I feel like we're finally we found that energy that dynamic of uh we're friends but we're not kind of cause normally we'll go into this we're like we're gonna fight we're gonna fight I'm gonna I'm gonna we're gonna talk about this I'm gonna fucking I'm gonna take you down and we're like I love you too bro when you were going on your gay ass uh and I said that with love uh a rant's about the balloon yeah the looks you are over here like use a balloon and a balloon is like and I'm just looking at the camera like that that's gonna make some baller content I love that that it will be baller content oh let's be diverse baller and flapper content what about baller like a ball balloon ball well but you get it like cause baller testicle oh yes like yep can I tell that story real quickly what's the story so basically at sellers on stage I was like I was hosting and I and someone did a spot and they probably bombed and I got up there and I said give him a round of applause guys that took balls and then I said like what balls what's the if it's a lady what's your ball can't say balls for ladies what's your and there was this lady in the crowd and she yelled out flaps yeah and I went flaps and then later on uh I think I think I can name her Shivon Larkin was came and she was she'd arrived later yeah yeah she hadn't heard any of that oh no and we were just watching a a a a a I think might have been another female comedian and I just sort of nudged her and went like that takes flaps thinking like yeah remember that Joker man she was just like and to her credit she was just like what I was like oh yeah you weren't here you weren't here yeah you weren't here for this yeah I had to explain very quickly no I made a joke about how for for guys it takes balls for ladies it takes flaps ah shit anyway fun so are we best friends yet yeah we are we are we are no no no we can't reach the goal what do you want me to say hey we no because remember how I was like hey the end of every week you know what I'm gonna ask you this question going on I got one hey Joel are we best friends yet or are we oh fuck I was gonna do something different just ask me if we're best friends yet are we best friends yet we are was and always will be best friends just like the land we sit on right now is the lands of the Koala Nation okay so he's saying that ironically because I don't think we've reached best friend yet status yet I'm OB for skating okay I'm OB for skating using uh progressive language alright make sure to send this to everyone you know and if you don't yep fucking we're coming for you yep okay