Spartners - Spouses Who Are Business Partners.
Welcome to our podcast, where our mission is to enrich marriages by guiding couples on their journey to oneness. We provide insights on becoming solid partners and evolving into “Spartners”—spouses who work together harmoniously. With a strong biblical foundation and practical tools, we help couples align with each other and Christ, enriching their marriage and making it more fruitful. Join us as we explore where faith, marriage, and business align from a kingdom perspective, impacting communities and glorifying God’s kingdom through stronger, more united marriages.
Spartners - Spouses Who Are Business Partners.
Beyond Sunday : What serving the local church taught us about faith, family, and alignment.
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What if serving your local church together could transform your marriage, clarify your calling, and ignite a movement beyond Sunday? We open up about the unexpected path from kids’ check-in and security shifts to leading couples, preaching through grief, and accepting a pastoral mantle we never planned to wear. Along the way, we share the uncomfortable lessons—performing versus being real, loving people who don’t love you back, and setting boundaries so your family remains your first ministry.
Our story doesn’t stop at the platform. A family loss birthed a bolder voice, a weekly “Wednesday Word,” and a growing burden for pastoral leadership. The church became a training ground where Spartners—our mission to help spouses build together—was discovered, developed, and deployed. Then came a harder truth: silent disobedience. We were doing good, God-honoring work while quietly neglecting the very assignment He gave us to carry. Realignment meant stepping away from roles we loved to scale our impact globally while staying rooted locally.
You’ll hear practical frameworks to serve without burning out: how to share a schedule, keep joint and personal prayer rhythms, create healthy limits that point people to Jesus, and protect intimacy when the weight of ministry follows you home. We talk theology and practice—being salt and light beyond Sunday, embracing pastoral covering and accountability, and choosing authenticity over polish so God can bless the real you. If you’ve wondered how faith, marriage, and entrepreneurship can align without tearing you apart, this conversation offers honest guidance and hard-won hope.
Listen now, subscribe for more conversations on serving together and building as one, and share this episode with a couple who’s ready to step into their calling. If this resonated, leave a review and tell us where you feel called to go next.
We’re excited to share something special for couples who are ready to go beyond the ordinary date night and build a stronger, more intentional marriage.
Introducing: Cultivate Your Marriage — A Valentine’s Experience
A 2-hour evening designed not just for connection, but for real growth.
📅 When: February 13, 2026
🕖 Time: 7:00 PM – 9:00 PM Eastern
📍 Where: Mood Café in Lawrenceville, GA
💲 Cost: $25 per couple (includes lite bites & drinks)
👫 Limited Seats: Only 25 couples — Register Here
What Couples Can Expect:
• A relaxed, welcoming environment to connect and reset.
• Practical conversation led by Troy & Shantel on understanding your partner’s needs and communicating with clarity.
• Introduction to the Spartners Agreement — a powerful tool for alignment in marriage.
• Time to share and reflect with other couples seeking closeness and community.
Whether you’re feeling disconnected, simply “busy,” o
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Welcome And Mission Of Spartners
SPEAKER_01Welcome to the Spartans Podcast where Faith, Marriage, and Business Align. We are your grateful host, Troy.
SPEAKER_03And chance help for us. We have unlocked a cheat code to not only enrich your marriage, but also a way to bring glory to God's kingdom.
SPEAKER_00Culture would say working with your spouse is crazy, but we don't do things culture's way. We aim to do things the king's way. And as husbands and wives, we are called to multiply.
SPEAKER_03Yes, that is right. We are called to multiply in ideas, service, and business, and to take dominion with our communities and afar.
SPEAKER_00Amen. We are childhood friends. We've been married for over 10 years. We have small children, a miniature schnauzer, and quite the history. Yes, we do. Today we are content creators who've earned more than a half a million dollars in brand deals. We are marriage coaches, authors, and recently have become pastors.
SPEAKER_03Yes. So through our unique journey, one of the best lessons we learned was in becoming business partners, what we call SPARNERS. We learned that it was not only a great way to escape burnout and not feeling fulfilled, but it was also God's way to enrich our marriage, make it fruitful, and give us purpose.
SPEAKER_00So tap in and learn more from us and other successful partners, spouses who are business partners.
SPEAKER_02Welcome to the Spartners Podcast, where faith, marriage, and business align.
SPEAKER_01What's going on, y'all? What up? Spartners Podcast where faith, marriage, and business align. Episode three. Let's go. We are here.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_01And we got a lot of things to talk about today.
Why Serve Your Local Church Together
SPEAKER_03Yes, there's so much going on in our personal lives right now. Lots of transitions, lots of pivots, but expectancy. And so it has us in a posture and a position of just reflecting on the journey that got us here so far. And so today we're really excited to talk to y'all about what it looks like to serve your local church as a partnership, as husband and wife. Because I mean, it looks great from afar, but does it feel great inside, right? What should you know about? What are the pitfalls? What are some things that you should be mindful of as God is refining you and forming you within the four walls of the church? And so when we work with couples, we are excited about talking about serving together and working together, not just in business, but also in ministry. And lots of times couples are super excited about the newness, about the expectations, about all of their hearts' desires. But then they get in there and they're like, wait, what? You ain't tell us about all this. It's very possible for the pace at which the church forms, how you're pulled, can start to pull you apart. And so we just want to prepare y'all today for serving together in a local church because it's so essential and so critical, but it's important to be prepared.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. I'll never forget one of our spiritual voices in our life said it's very different to attend said church than it is to serve said church, and that comes with its own level expectancy and obligations. And, you know, you always want to make sure that it's spirit-led. So we've been here crazy. You just told me almost five years. No. So we've been in Georgia, New York, New York City plans to Georgia. It's been about five years. And when we were coming here, we were looking for our church, our church home. So we were dating churches, doing the process of elimination to trying to find the place that we want to be planted because we really believed it's important to be planted in a local church. So whether you're serving or not, having that space where you can communicate around the body of believers is so important. So we found our church, and that was dope to find our church. And when we got plugged into the church, obviously, you know, you're dating churches, you want to make sure you feel aligned. So we're checking out what the next gen looks like for our kids. We're checking out obviously the pastor's preaching style. We're looking at the worship, we're looking at all these non-essential things, to be honest with you. We learn later on in life as you grow maturely that you know God can speak through anyone. Some of the things that you think you really need are not the reason you're there. But that's a conversation for another day. When we finally decided to make that our church and get planted after serving, we looked at each other and was like, it's time to serve. It's time that we don't just attend this church. God has been putting some stuff on our heart and we were figuring out how we could actually serve the church. And we were serving, you know, we we had the same heart to serve, but we were serving in in different capacities.
Finding A Church And First Roles
SPEAKER_03Yeah. In the beginning, I was like, I'm not trying to miss a Sunday message and the Sunday experience. And so sign me up to serve Monday through Saturday. Anything that y'all need, I can do Monday through Saturday because I really, really did not want to miss a session or an experience or a service on the Sunday. And we also had kids and I didn't want to leave them there all day. And so when you're an entrepreneur like most of you are, most likely you have that autonomy to be able to help and support and serve your local church during the week. And so that was us. And so it was really difficult, actually. I thought there would definitely be a need for help in admin or in content creation or whatever. But of course, the only place that called me back was the children's ministry, which required a Sunday service. Yeah. Um, so I did that for some time. And what were you doing?
SPEAKER_01I was on a security team, surprisingly. That's just something that I didn't necessarily feel called to, but it seemed like that was a demand. And I'm a pretty simple dude. So it was like, okay, this is a void that needs to be filled. I'll be happy to do that. Head is always on a swivel. Um, God has gifted me uniquely to be able to see every single thing coming and going. I equate that to being a nightclub promoter for 19 years. You walk into any establishment, you need to know where the exits are, the entrances are. And I kind of just always had the ability to be observant in that capacity. So served on a security team, and I still got the message because I was in the sanctuary. Right, right.
SPEAKER_03I didn't, but that's okay. Um, but what was really cool that started being formed is at the time Spartners was put on Troy's heart. Yeah. And we also had our second blessing, our encounter with Jesus, and so much change happened in our lives there and so much transformation. And so Spartners is on our heart, and we're like, hey, we should have a Spartners group for the church. And so while I'm doing my part and serving the church and he's doing his part, we were able to come together. God showed us, hey, here's how I want y'all to align in the church body, not just in business, but also in the church body. Yeah. And so the church gave us an opportunity to grow Spartners. Um, and so much was birthed. It's funny because the church is supposed to help you discover your spiritual gifts. Also help you discover your other gifts that you can use for the world. And then you're supposed to be able to develop them there. And that's exactly what we did with Sparkners. Spartners truly first emerged within the four walls of the church.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And it's always important because you want to have a church that's aligned with your vision and the mission that God has planned out on your heart. Are you a part of a church that sees what God wants to do inside of you? And are they aligned with that vision to help to support you, fulfill that, and live that, and then send you out on mission, you know? Um, so I think that was really cool that we got to do that because we got firsthand practical experience doing this ministry at our church, working with couples, being on the Zoom calls, doing the in-person workshops, praying with couples, walking through hardships, everything, giving them tools, giving them strategies in the marriage space through this church because they provided that opportunity.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, absolutely. And so now um the small group that we had, we're in season two of it. It's feeling really strong. Um, but the need to serve more, have a greater impact, do it more throughout the day started really, really pressing on our hearts in different ways. Um, for me, it started pressing on my heart like you need to do more than just Sunday with the kids. Like, you really need to help with systems and operations, certain struggles or challenges that I had there, I wanted to help revise and reduce so no one else walked through that door. And and I was blessed to have a pastor over me who saw that and said, Okay, that means we need you on this team. And so I was able to step into more leadership for the church. Um, and still, even though it was helping scratch the itch, there was still such a deeper hunger to serve even more. What's happening with you?
Launching Spartners Inside The Church
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and even though I was I was protecting the house, right? I was I was serving in the house, I was involved in a few different uh groups and men's groups and like men's fellowship discipleship groups in the Metro Atlanta area. And I remember meeting in one group where I was growing, growing, growing in fellowship and community and in Bible study. And I just kept feeling this burden on me to step into pastoral leadership. And I'm like, this is crazy. Because if you know anything about me, this was not what I thought I wanted to do. This is not the plan, at least this was not my plan. But I kept trying to shake it. I kept trying to shake this burden of leadership that was growing inside of me. And I think it just got to a point where I was like, okay, I don't have a lot of people around me to tell me what I should do. Should I go to seminary? Should I do this? Like, what do I figure out? And honestly, it just got to a point where I was like, man, listen, Chantel, I think God is calling us to plant a church in our house. Yeah. Like, legit. We had already wrote this partner's book, we already were putting out content, we were already doing the marriage ministry, we were already doing the courses, we were already doing the educational stuff, we were already trying to send husbands and wives out on mission to advance the church through enriching their marriage, through working together. And we were, and I was just like, okay, but this pastoral thing is also birthing inside of me. And you know what, Chantelle? Like, we got couples, we got people that are walking with us. Like, yo, we're just gonna start a church in our house.
SPEAKER_03And and what were we gonna call it?
SPEAKER_01Our faith house. Yes, which is crazy. Yes, crazy thing was how I knew it was God because you were like, okay, sure.
SPEAKER_03Like, okay, let's do it. There was, there was, there was, there was a burden on us, and and and we never in a million years ever thought that we would be in a place where we're like, yeah, let's have church in our house. Like, why not?
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_03We never that was just not us. If y'all have been with us for years, you know that was about us.
SPEAKER_01Small gathering spaces, something that we can control, few people coming in, few people coming out. And God was just like, nah, that's how you know it was God, because we were just like, All right, come one, come all, come families. We're literally gonna open our doors and trust God to just do something incredible in our home to point people to Him. You know, this is this is what we thought the Lord wanted, right? Um, long story short, we never launched our Faith House, but I did feel true at the time. We never launched our faith house at the time. So, as we're thinking about the launch of our faith house, God convicts me to start using my social media platform. Now, at this time, this is our income, this is how we get paid. We got brand sponsorships and deals, and I'm like, I'm afraid to talk about God on Instagram because I believe that these brands who have no religious affiliations are going to stop working with us, they're gonna stop getting in deals. But God said this is a platform that I gave you and you need to start talking about it. And that's when I started like the Wednesday Word series for all of y'all that remember Wednesday Word. I definitely think it's time to bring back Wednesday Word, but that's actually how we got there.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so he's doing Wednesday Word, we're talking about our faith pass, getting super excited because hey, if you can't, sometimes if you can't find what you're looking for, you gotta create it your own, right? Like that is the essence of and use what's in your hands, exactly. Um, but then um right before Thanksgiving of 2023, um, my sister tragically and surprisingly uh passed away. Yeah, and so it was extremely, extremely, extremely difficult season for us. Um, and so our faith house kind of just stopped. Um partners kind of just stopped, everything kind of just stopped. Um but our serving of the church continued. Our church family came around us and supported us through that time, and the burden um to serve even more uh was just there.
SPEAKER_01And yeah, it grew deeper and deeper. And then I'll remember when we were um putting together all the arrangements for Siobans, uh sending home and everything. Your mom literally asked me, um, you know, through because of the Wednesday words, she asked me if I'd speak at the funeral. And that was crazy because that was the first um sermon that I ever created in my life. And uh I felt a huge burden on my heart to pursue pastoral leadership after that day. And it's crazy because your sister always said that she saw something on me. You know, she saw something on me and saw something for us, and it's beautiful how God literally used that moment to send me down this journey, to send us down this journey.
Growing Hunger To Serve And Lead
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and I um wasn't expecting the conversation to go this way. But um, but I also say in that year, yeah, uh, that her death uh birthed the ministry and the pastoral heart within me to actually hear the call because I too was burdened with serving people and meeting people in their in their pain and and and assisting people and walking alongside people on their healing journey. And that's what my sister's life was devoted to. Um, and so yeah, it was just shortly after we picked up partners and said, okay, like we got a mission, let's go. And um, and thankfully the church that we were at, they're also about deploying you out into the world after you've discovered your gifts and you've developed them. Now deploy them, be sent, go. And so that's exactly what we did. And and one of our first stops there was this most recent church that we've been at for the last two years. We were able to walk in as speakers, ready to take over the marketplace and marriage ministry space, where we sought to help couples find oneness by working together. And through that experience and then conversations that happened after, and prayer and discernment, yeah, we ended up getting an opportunity to say yes to our call from the Lord and take on pastoral leadership positions at a new church. And that was really difficult because I loved where we were serving, and I've always been one to run to run into the wheels fault. Like I can't leave someplace in a good space. I always have to be toxic and bad in order to leave. And that's where God revealed that you can honor a season and leave it at the same time in a good space. So that was a really healthy transition, I think, for us, especially being so new in this ministry world space.
SPEAKER_01And I think it was it was great because I think because of that, we're just gonna jump out and do what the Lord is telling us to do. There's just so much fruit. Um, there were so many lives that were impacted, and being sent out from our church and then stepping into this role as pastors opened the door for so much that God would use along our journey. Like nothing is wasted. I mean, in this two-year journey, we've baptized babies, we've witnessed dedications. I officiated our first wedding this summer. We've walked alongside uh real people navigating real challenges. We've prayed with marriages that were on the brink of divorce that God was able to restore. It's the it's the real work that I think we were able to do in this two-year time that has given us the ability to step all out on all the things that God has called us to do now.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Um, and I just think about how when we served at the first church as volunteers, kind of doing our own thing. Uh the conversations that that looked like at home are okay, when are you serving? We gotta make sure we're both on the same rotation because on the off weeks we want to be able to sit together. Or okay, well, we only have one vehicle, so we got to make sure that this works for our family. And thankfully, we stayed in alignment, we prioritized our marriage, our relationship, so that serving never took over what we have going on and didn't disrupt our rhythm. And if it did disrupt our rhythm, it was still a choice that we made together, so it was still healthy. It wasn't like, well, this is what I have to do.
SPEAKER_01I think it's very important to have senior pastors who really walk out the first ministry lifestyle. And I remember our senior pastor saying to us the importance of never putting the church before your family. You don't want to be a public success in a private hop. You don't want to be that pastor or those pastors that give everything that they have to their congregation and have nothing left over for their family.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and that started with how we volunteered at the first church. Again, Sunday on and off, him Sunday on and off. We're doing our thing at the at the team volunteer level. And it's just so important that we continue to seek the Lord and we were obedient to how He was using us because as we said last time, He will put more on your less. Come on. And and because we kept seeking Him, God kept bringing us closer and closer to each other as one. Now, what can happen at times in relationships is one person's all in on serving that so they want to be there Wednesday night, Saturday morning, all day Sunday, and the spouse or the partner is just not quite there yet. And that's very common for you to be at a different pace. We've been so blessed, but our pace has been very similar. And I equate that though to the level, the effort and the intention that we're putting into seeking the Lord is pretty equivalent. Like I'm not praying all day and he's just outside hanging out. We are literally in this together. And while we have our independent and individual prayer lives, we also have a connected and joint prayer life. And so we just want to encourage y'all, if you feel like you're at a different pace, um, one, try to get on the same page by truly seeking the Lord first, and he will allow your steps to get more in sync because the closer you get to him, the closer you get to each other. So if you do find yourself in that situation and you're the one who just wants to serve all day long, that's amazing. But also make sure that you're prioritizing your relationship. You need to be in sync with the Lord. And if the Lord is calling you to serve, then hopefully like you communicate that with your spouse and he or she understands that and you serve, but you never want to serve so much that it's costing you your relationship. So it was so beautiful to be able to be hand in hand with you, just watching people um bring their lives to Jesus to get baptized, the baby dedications, everything that you said. And um, and I just remember feeling like wow, there's so much power in our partnership at our church, hand in hand, doing ministry together. Um, it was really, really beautiful to be on mission together and to also be with someone who understands the humanity in pastoral leadership. Because guess what, y'all? Pastors are people too. Come on, say that again. And to be doing this with you, I mean, we say it all the time. When you're in business, you get to celebrate the wins together and you get to work through the failures together. Um, but in ministry, I mean, it there's so much more weight and there's so much more like heaviness and things to work through and expectations to live up to.
SPEAKER_01And so when you have a partner, and we don't, by the way, we we we refuse to try to live up to the expectations while still living a life above reproach.
Grief, Wednesday Word, And A Pastoral Call
SPEAKER_03Yes, yes. And so having a partner who understands it, who gets it, who's doing it with you was um so fulfilling. So fulfilling.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I think the beauty in that too. Doing ministry with your your partner, um, especially that close together, deepens a level of intimacy and connection in your marriage that you just didn't even know was available. Because through the hardship of pastoring, like there have been days when it's like, yeah, I don't know if I can do this anymore. And she's literally like been a safe place and an anchoring of peace and encouragement to keep me with my eyes fixed on who called me to this and uh who I'm held accountable to. And I think there's been situations where you literally felt the same way, and I was able to be a shelter of peace and comfort for you when you felt that way. Ministry is not for the faint of heart, it's not easy. Um, it's really beautiful, but it's it's it has its challenges here.
SPEAKER_03It does. And and while the church formed us so much, especially the second church that we were at, we were being stretched in so many beautiful ways. Yeah, it also stretched us in some tough ways as well. Can you speak to that a bit?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, man. Um I'll never forget um Scott gets a lot of slack, but um, he's doing amazing work, and it's Mike Todd. Mike Todd said that God blesses the real version of you, not the you that you pretend to be.
SPEAKER_04So good.
SPEAKER_01Um, and I think you know, coming into this, I did not want to try to portray myself as someone that I am not. I didn't I know who God called into ministry. And that doesn't mean that you don't grow, you don't mature, you don't develop, you don't, you don't get uh prune in a way that you take on more humility.
SPEAKER_03And the Lord sustains you to endure it. This Valentine's Day, skip the crowded restaurants and invest in your marriage by joining our Cultivate a Thriving Marriage date night.
SPEAKER_01We are hosting a two-hour date night for couples who are looking to go deeper in their intersect connection.
SPEAKER_03There will be light bikes, drinks, good vibes, and real conversation about what you actually need from each other in this season.
SPEAKER_01We're gonna guide you through one of our favorite tools to create space to connect, vibe out, and you get to do this with other couples.
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SPEAKER_03We will see you there on February 13th from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m.
SPEAKER_01Remember, this is limited to 25 couples, so book your spot today.
SPEAKER_03Um, I remember just also having like a new sense of pressure to be on. I mean, I've been always more of like the PC politically correct one. I've worked in the nine to five spaces, I was in education, I know how to just smile and do the thing. Um and in in the church, it was kind of the same thing where you felt this where I felt a pressure where I had to put on. But but then I realized thankfully through Troy and just being vulnerable, and a friend who told me that God called this version of you to ministry, to leadership, not the old you. And so by having those reminders and being able to lead through vulnerability, I was able to relinquish that pressure to put on and just show up as myself and be authentic. Absolutely. Um, but if you're not careful and if you're not discerned, that can definitely be a struggle and a challenge for those of you who are serving in church where you feel like you have to pretend, you feel like you have to perform, you feel like you have to be a certain version that the people want. You know what the people want? Tell them what the people want.
SPEAKER_04What they need, baby.
SPEAKER_03The people want to for you to be you. Yeah, God called this version of you into ministry, and man, those words really set me set me free of what I thought I had to be because of what you see on TV or social media. Um, and it's not true, it's not true. Yeah, um, and so while that could be it could be tough to go through that and learn it, I mean it's also so so beautiful.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. I'd like to also say that just just because you're not for everyone, that doesn't give you a pass to not show up to still love everyone and be the life. And I think that takes a lot of work. That, hey, there's some of us with big personalities that are, there's some of us that are a little bit spicier than others, but that does not, again, living above reproaches, even though these people may not love me or like me, I'm still going to show up to honor and serve them out of excellence. And I think that again is just a posture of humility. You're gonna navigate spaces inside and outside the church where you're called to be the light. And if we're called to be the light, that means we have to show up with a posture of humility to love people the same way Jesus. Jesus literally loved the very people that persecuted him on his cross at his last breath. Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. And we're called, if we're gonna be Christ's light, to do the same exact thing, you know?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Another challenge that we experience in serving um the church was, I'll say for me, is just carrying the heaviness and the weight of it home. Um in the school system, obviously there's lots of things to talk about, lots of stress. And I used to come home and talk about it. And and I'd be like, oh, just try to leave it in the office. But you can't, I mean, for me, it was really difficult. I couldn't just leave um the issues that people were sharing with me in the office. It it took a lot of conversations with Troy, a lot of prayer to be able to release that to the Lord, and that took time because I just wasn't ready to do that. It was no on and off switch when it comes to people's hearts. And so I um I that was tough. That was tough. And um, and at times it would interfere with our time, with my the way I parented. Um, if I had if I felt like I needed to make a call or take a call at a certain hour of the night or during the weekend, um, whatever it was, yeah, you kind of always are on because you're pastoring people. And now when I'm saying on, I'm not referring to like performative, but actually being available. And I also had to learn through there that you know what, you need boundaries, right? Absolutely. And and if people are going to you first, that's a problem. They need to be going to Jesus first, and then you. So those boundaries not only protect your own house space, but they also protect the person who you're stewarding, who you're pastoring, and who you want to develop their own relationship with God.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And I and I'd say that that's something that I had to learn too, especially like very early on in the journey. And what I realized for me is it was pride. I I had to die to my pride. Like, who did who do I think I am that I have to carry these heavy burdens? Because at the end of the day, I am a shepherd pointing people to the one who actually saves, to the one who will free you from bondage, to the one that will remove shame. I'm not the one that does that. My my job as a shepherd is to point you to the one who does. So if I'm taking all this heaviness from people and I'm storing it in my body, I remember days when I had chest pain, when I would be losing sleep, my eye would be twitching. It's because I was holding it and carrying it instead of actually relinquishing it and laying at the laying it at the altar, laying it at Jesus' feet. And one of the best things you can do, uh, future pastors, shepherds, leaders in the church, anyone, the best thing you can do is have people rely on the Lord and not you. And that's the tension that I had. Am I am I having people rely on me or am I am I trusting and showing people by having boundaries in my life that I'm not the one you're actually supposed to rely on? It's the Lord who you're supposed to rely on. But if we answer every text message, if we answer every call, if we meet them every time, then then who are we actually pointing them to versus having those boundaries in place so that when you're actually struggling and going through it and they call you that one time when you're not available because you're with your family, now hopefully they do what they're supposed to do, which is bring it to the Lord in prayer first.
From Volunteers To Pastoral Leadership
SPEAKER_03Right. I mean, this is a whole nother episode right here. If this is resonating with you, if you are in ministry or you're interested in going into ministry with your spouse, uh leave a comment because um we could do a whole episode of lessons we've learned in ministry. Yes. Um so we don't want to derail too much, but those were some really trying times. And so when you're serving together, you want to be mindful of what's your place and what's the Lord's.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So we have our highs, we have these stretching moments. Um, but then we started to feel tension.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Because while we are serving the local church, we also knew that we had global impact, right? We're still entrepreneurs. Yeah. And yeah, part of our ministry is to activate entrepreneurs in the church so that way you can be active members who are serving, who are loving, who are connecting people within and outside of where you attend. And though we were given the autonomy to be able to oversee our marriage ministry, to be able to continue doing our SPA partners, we still felt so pulled towards serving our people through the local church that we really didn't let go and just put to the side our SPARTners' ministry, our faith house idea that we had years ago. And we started to feel a tension, a true misalignment with God of like, okay, y'all, I brought you here, but you weren't supposed to let go of the very thing that got you there. Yes, yes. And so talk to us. What was that tension like for you? Serving and knowing you're doing a great God thing, but is it the thing that we're supposed to be doing right now?
SPEAKER_01It felt like something that I don't think we talk about enough, which is silent disobedience. I think that as believers, we we look for disobedience to be such a in-your-face thing, and usually that disobedience has like a negative connotation associated with it. Like, you know, you're not supposed to, you know, you you you told the Lord I'm done with such and such, and now you've been pulled back into whatever that thing is. That is blatant disobedience, but sometimes silent disobedience looks like I'm still doing God things, I'm still doing things that the Lord told me to do, but I'm doing them at the expense of the thing that he never told me to put down. And I feel like for us, that's partners. He the very thing that the Lord gave us that got us to our church, that got us into pastoral leadership, that that spoke to the Lord through the passage that said, You are a house with no roof, and we need to be your spiritual covering. That very thing we put down once we got into these roles. And I felt like God was telling us, I never told you to do that. And he was showing that to us through our podcast. We have not, we this we just picked the podcast back up. It was a year and a half since we've done a podcast, and we were still getting hundreds of views on podcasts. Uh, you know, we were getting asked by churches to come out and speak about what it what it looks like to work successfully with your spouse. It was all these things that had me questioning and going to Chantel and being like, yo, are we being disobedient? Because it seems like where we bear the most fruit is in this thing that he never told us to put down. And what I realized is I was like, God gave us the ability to invest into our keynote coaches, God invests in our marriage coaching, invest in mentors in so many ways, invest into our podcast. Yo, paying the monthly subscription fee to keep this podcast going. We were paying all these things, but not actually producing any content for our community. And I remember saying to you, God is looking for his return. Yeah, he's looking for his return on the investment he already put in us, and he who is faithful a little will see much increase. And I believe that we needed to pick this thing up. And you felt like, you know what, you were feeling a very similar thing, right? Like a very similar feeling.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, absolutely. I was feeling, I was feeling that that pull, that tension, that misalignment. I was feeling like we like because it's again, it's no one, it's no one's fault. Yeah, again, we were doing what we felt like we were supposed to be doing, serving the people who we love and care for, but also feeling an emptiness and a void of how God has uniquely wired us for this very season. Absolutely. So the church formed us, it formed us in so many ways. It taught us, it gave us new language, it gave us a wider perspective, it gave us so much, and we feel and felt that pull of like, okay, now what? What do we do with all this? How do we expand this territory that we feel like the Lord has called us into? And it required us to make some big, big choices, which was to ultimately um step away from our pastoral leadership at our church um into a newer territory. We can expand and grow our ministry and truly invest our time into our ministry. But that took so much prayer, so much discernment, so much obedience, and so much of stepping outside of our comfort zone because it could have been so much easier to stay and to continue doing what we do because we know it's the Lord's work.
SPEAKER_04Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03But as entrepreneurs who are called to also serve globally, not just locally, but globally, we needed to be prayerful and allow God to just direct our steps and and show us that we can release this.
Boundaries, Burnout, And Being Real
SPEAKER_01It's like, okay, Lord, I trust you. No longer am I gonna hold on to this thing looking for my outcome, yeah, my expectation, what I think I want this to look in, because it's really easy to stay somewhere and to stay complacent in a place where you're comfortable, but we truly grow when we step out in faith. When we say, okay, Lord, your will, not mine. And I think that's what truly opened the door for us to step out and to be fully all in on spartners and all that God has called us to do. The beauty about uh this last church that we served at is not only did we grow theologically, right? We learned how to truly read the Bible. We learned all about soterology and Christologies and Christophanies and all the biblical terms and theology, exegete the text and do all these amazing things, but we also learned how to truly be Christ-like. We truly learned how to love and see God's people above all things, which is true maturity. Who cares if you can quote all the scriptures? Who cares if you know Genesis to Revelations? Do you have a heart to see God's people? Do you have a heart to see the very people that Jesus died for? And now when we go out in the world and we're and we're preaching the gospel or we're loving on people that don't know the Lord, we get to do it with a little bit more grace, a little bit more compassion, and a little bit more empathy because we've had real hands-on practical learning. And I'm so grateful to our last church for the way that they were able to pour into us that way.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, super grateful.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And like we said, like the church is not supposed to be containment center. The church wants you to learn your gifts, to be able to use them there. Absolutely. We want activated people who are serving their local church, and we also want you to feel empowered and activated in the world to also use your gifts there. When you serve in the church together, is a know the know that there's gonna be highs, know that there's going to be areas that stretch you, but at the end of the day, you gotta be in alignment. You gotta be in alignment with the Lord. If you start to get off alignment with him and you start just going with the emotions, doing what's comfortable, not tapping in perhaps as much as you should, or you're starting to feel a tension on your heart, like, wait a second, I've also given you this thing to do. Then it's important to tap in, lock in with your spouse, with the Lord, and be okay surrendering, relinquishing, and releasing it because God can take you only wherever it is that you will go. He can't take you to the places that you're fighting and resisting.
SPEAKER_01That's so good.
SPEAKER_03And so you got you gotta be able to go.
SPEAKER_01You gotta be able to go. And that's the thing. Matthew 28, 19 says, go.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01He didn't say stay, he said go. Key word in that scripture is go out and make disciples of all nations. And it's it's so important to serve in your local church. I think it is one of the most important things is to have a local church so that you can be in proximity of other people who are chasing God. You want to have community, fellowship, and grow around other believers, but then that's Sunday. That's an event. And the church isn't just a Sunday thing. So God is calling you to go out and make disciples of all nations. So what that can look like for you is maybe you know you work at a dentist's office, but you just make sure that you you remember some of the people's names in the office. You smile at the people you see. We are called to be the light in the world. The Bible says that we are called to be the salt of the earth. In the old days, salt was actual currency, it was used to preserve something that was decaying. People would exchange salt as a form of currency. So when we're called to be the salt, that means that in a world that we know, we know this world. Yeah, yeah, listen, you ain't gotta go on your phone, you ain't gotta, you ain't gotta turn on the news channel to know that we are living in a decaying world. But as believers, we are called to preserve this world. We are called to be the salt of the of the world. So, you know, you might not be starting a ministry tomorrow, you might not be preaching in the pulpit next year, but there is purpose wherever you are planted and God is calling you. We're actually hoping that this episode empowers you to go out and to be a light wherever God plants you.
SPEAKER_03We want to just thank you for taking the time to listen, but to also really encourage you to serve your local church, um, especially if you're not in business together and you're just looking for a way to get started, and be mindful of the pitfalls or the challenges or the struggles that will come your way. But also be mindful of how God will form you. Spartners was birthed in in our hearts first, but then it was through our local church where we were able to have those seeds be watered, or we were able to make mistakes, I guess if you will. Where we were able to learn exactly how God wants to use us, make connections, build relationships, disciple people, be discipled. So much happened through us on our formation, our spiritual formation at the church. Um, and that could happen to you too. And so while you are serving with your partner at the local church, be open to how God will use you and work through you by being aligned with Him. And as you grow and as you go, um, be open to the assignment that the Lord puts on you because not every assignment lasts forever. And you need to be okay with that by trusting in the Lord.
Weight Of Ministry And Healthy Limits
SPEAKER_01And so we're we're we're telling you all this, and we're not telling you this so that you're nervous, so that you're scared. We don't want you listen to this episode and go, Well, I ain't I ain't serving the church. Like, no, we just we just wanted to make sure that we weren't the people that tell you go serve and then to send you out blindly, not making you aware to some of the things that you may or potentially can endorse serving God's church. But here's the beauty is that God is going to. Cover you every step of the way, right? The enemy does not send arrows where there's no threat. And best believe when you're serving God's church, you're gonna have your fair share of things that are thrown in your way. But the beauty is you serve a God who's above all things, that those weapons that are forming against you will never prosper because he's covering you. And again, remember the things that we we're not playing for this. This is this is our life is is about this big. It's the other side in eternity. That's what we're we're doing all of this for, right? We give our our lives to him. We say, listen, we lay down our life and we pick up your cross, Lord, because you are the life, the truth, the way. He's the gate, and the goal is to get somewhere. We're not just doing it to be here, right? So when you serve, when you face those hardships, you lean in him and you know you're doing it not for temporal satisfaction, but for a place you plan to go in eternity in heaven.
SPEAKER_03Right. You know, we've talked so much about serving together, and I'm not sure we actually hit on how that impacts you as a couple through this journey. We have become so much more unified, yeah, so much more connected. Our conversations are so much deeper, our level of intimacy is so much stronger. Absolutely. All from serving, absolutely, because that is where it started literally. Spartners started in the church. Yeah. And and when you start a business outside of covering and just doing it on your own, I mean that could feel scary. And maybe you get a coach, you get a counselor, you get someone who's done it. Show us the way. We want to, you know, start this sort of business. But when you have a local church around you, you have that covering, you have that counsel, you have that protection. Yes, and and pastoral covering. You have that, you have that love. And so for us, we have grown so much as a couple. When people see us, like it's like, what is that light? It's because we serve together, we serve the Lord first. And um, and that's what you get when you come together and serve him.
SPEAKER_01I also want to say, like, listen, we we we are big believers that you have to apply yourself to supply your wealth. So we are all about investing and having coaches and putting our ideas in front of experts in different fields that can help us come up with better tips, tricks, skills, and strategies. But when you are walking this thing out and you're starting businesses and you're starting ministries, like she said, you need pastoral covering. You don't just need someone who's like, hey, this is a great way to scale your business. Are these people praying over you? Are they checking your blind spots? Are they saying, listen, that's not God honoring, or hey, that's very self-fulfilling, or that's misaligned, or you know what? I'm gonna keep it real with you. You told me your mission, your vision, and how you want to glorify God, and that's not really aligned with your mission. You need uh covering and people that are over you that are gonna keep you on course and keep you accountable. And one other thing that I say that was really dope about doing this together and serving together is when those times come or when those challenges come, we lock in and we pray. And because of the serving our local church, um because of serving it in the capacity that we've been able to do it, our confidence is stronger, our strength is stronger. And it's not in anything we've done, but it's it's who we submit to. It's because we know that Jesus Christ is Lord of our life, we just walk with a different level of boldness, a different level of confidence. Our marriage has a different level of strength, not because of anything we've done, but because we know who we submit to. Yeah, we know who's covering us, we know who's in the center of this marriage right now that that helps us stay as this triple braided cord.
SPEAKER_03So we hope that this resonated with you today. Um, if you have any questions, anything that you're wondering, be sure to leave it in the comments. Check the show notes for some opportunities we have to connect. And um, we look forward to seeing you next week.
SPEAKER_01We look forward to seeing you next week. Until then, peace.
SPEAKER_03Keep building.