Real Talk, Episode 10

In this milestone 10th episode, marking Season One finale, Miko and her long-time friend Guy sit down to discuss his upbringing, environment, and transformative healing journey.

In this episode of the Influence Her Mindset Podcast, Miko reflects on the end of 2024 and concludes the podcast's first season. She thanks her audience and continues the theme from the previous episode, focusing on how childhood experiences shape individuals' adult behaviors, particularly in relationships.

The guest, Guy Pearson, shares his life story, describing the challenges and trauma he faced growing up in the streets, after the loss of his great grandmother, with influences of womanizers, hustlers and molestation. He discusses how his upbringing influenced his views on relationships, women, and masculinity. 

The episode emphasizes healing, self-awareness, and breaking cycles of pain. Guy candidly speaks about his transformation journey, addressing past mistakes and striving for a better future, especially as a father. The conversation gets real when Guy reflects on his personal transformation, highlighting his efforts to overcome past habits and create a healthier legacy, particularly for his daughter. Real and raw, the podcast aims to inspire healing and self-awareness while tackling complex themes of trauma, forgiveness, and redemption.

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Transcript

We want to be cute, classy and we want to influence your mindset financial therapy financial healing influence with therapy empowering your wallet she mines her money financial therapy for us Influence what's up y'all and welcome to another episode of the Influence Her Mindset Podcast. I'm Miko and I’m your host. Thank you so much for joining us today. Well, Happy holidays and Happy New Year! Can you believe we are at the end of 2024? Oh my goodness. Where did the time go? I can't believe we're about to be in 2025. Like really? We are on our 10th episode. This is the last episode of season one. So we will see how it goes in season two for 2025. But I just want to take some time out to say thank you to all of you, all the viewers, everybody that supported our show all year. I'm just so grateful. And from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. So today we want to kind of like piggyback off of the last episode, because in the last episode, I had a group, the Group Chat 

and you heard from four different people about their individual experiences and how their upbringing and childhood shows up in their everyday life and their dating life. So today we are going to have like a little follow-up and it's going to be a real talk with my good friend here, Mr. Guy, who i have been knowing since the sixth grade. We used to be in homeroom together all the way up to high school. So from Albert Thomas Junior High all the way to Sterling High School. So we've been knowing each other for a long time. And Guy is like a brother to me. So we are going to get to hear from him, hear from his heart. I want you to just tune in. And so you could really have a great understanding of how the man in your life or how a man really is truly a product of his environment. 

So listen closely because it really does take a brave man to share some of the points that he is going to share with us tonight of how he was pretty much groomed or like shaped into a womanizer, a hustler, a ladies man, just a pimp, a player, you know, just out of your environment. You just had to. almost be shaped into this. You know, you didn't have a choice. This is how you were raised. So really tune in because I want you to see that a lot of times we're dealing with people in our lives, especially the men in our lives. And under all of the things that we go through in dating and relationships, most of that is from the outer effects or the aftereffects of them just burying so much pain and suffering up under everything that they have endured. And so sometimes the hurt that you've endured hurts other people. And it's just, you know, inevitable that somebody is going to get hurt in the process. It's not intentional, but we are here to talk about it. I'm going to give you the platform and here at the Influence Our Mindset Podcast 

We have a platform for real healing, a healthy, safe space for you to really heal and be whole in your mindset. So I want to take the time to let you introduce yourself. And, you know, I know you're working on a book. You can tell us about the book you want to do. And also, you know, just give us your heart about the rebirth of Guy and your intentional healing journey to change a legacy. So without further ado, this is Mr. Guy. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. It's an honor. It's a pleasure to be here in the company of someone that I've known since my childhood. You've always been a nice person, very beautiful, very kind. Thank you. I'm just blessed to be graced by your presence. Thank you. 

Thank you so much. And I really want to say that I'm glad that I didn't, that I have never tried to pursue you in the manner of a relationship because it probably been detrimental I'm glad too. Thank you for sparing me, God. Thank you. But no, with that said, it's a pleasure to be here. Great, great, great. So welcome. So tell us a little bit about your childhood and your upbringing and just what makes you who you are. Well, good question. Well, I'd like to start from my story for growing up. in the household amongst my mom, grandmothers, and uncles, and aunts, and cousins, just the whole nine yards, even the neighborhood I grew up in, in Sunnyside, Texas, what we call Sunnyside, Texas, well, just Southside area, period. 

Started very on in life. I was, first of all, was born to my mother, from my mother at the age of 14, 15 years old. She was like a child having a child. And at that time, from my understanding, from what I was told from my mom and the rest of the family, that when she got noticed that she was pregnant, She told her mother, which is my grandmother, whom we call Sweet, and she told Sweet that I'm pregnant. So, you know, back in them days, I guess, you know, she was like, well, I ain't raising no more kids. Right. And at the time, my grandmother had four girls and four boys. I have four uncles and I have three aunts. A few have deceased, rest in peace. But, yeah, so when she told her, my mom told her mom that she's pregnant, she set her hair on fire and put her out Wow. 

Yeah, literally set a house, took a lighter and put a her hair on fire and kicked her out the house. And she was pretty much on her own through my pregnancy. And then I believe that my great-grandmother, which we call Madea that lives in Sunnyside, that was the house for all the kids. Pretty much all my aunt's kids was raised by my great-grandmother. And we grew up together in a household. So from my understanding that she ended up going to live there. And when I was conceived and I come to this world, she left me there with her. So for a while, I thought that my mother was actually my aunt. Wow. All along, I thought my grandmother, my great-grandmother, actually, which we call Madea, I thought she was my mother. Mm-hmm. So from the age pretty much of zero to six or seven, my mom used to come to the house. Mm-hmm. 

And I noticed that when she come to the house, she used to wear the little mink coats and stuff. She used to be rings on every finger. She was very beautiful. And when she come in the house, all the kids be like, they go, Aunt Tiger, they go, Aunt Tiger. So everybody call her Aunt Tiger. So that's my aunt too. She ain't never said I'm her son. I ain't never got that type of love. But I noticed that as I reflect back as a kid, I noticed that she used to pull me to the side. And show me like more love, like, you know, a little affection. She was just tough. She'll punch you in the chest or whatever. Grab, you know, that ain't tight. You know what I'm saying? But she'll stuff my pocket with more money than she'll give everybody else. So I never really understood that. But people felt like I was the favorite or whatever, her favorite nephew. But to speed time up a little bit wrong, I was like 10 years old. That's when she had got shot. 

When I was about nine years old, about nine, because my grandmom ended up passing about a year later. When I was about like nine years old, someone came to the house, knocked on the door, boom, boom, boom. Well, they really walked in because we didn't have doors open. I mean, locked back then. Doors be wide open. Yeah. And windows up and everything. So, you know how they go. But when they come to the house, somebody shot a Tiger So, somebody shot a tiger. So, my grandmama come out of there, what? Somebody shot a tiger. So, get your coat. I was the only one got in the car with my grandmother. Yeah. And knowing my little brother, that's probably it. time, he'd probably been like two or three years old, something like that. So I think we were about four or five years apart. So she's like, you know, get your coat, you know what I'm saying? So we go, and during that time, you didn't have too many hospitals by, what, Jeff Davis and Ben Taub So you don't know what I'm saying about Ben Taub You'd rather wait on the cab instead of the ambulance going to Ben Taub. So I'll never forget, we're sitting there and she tell me, she say, 

baby, I want you to know something happened to your mom. And I just want you to know that everything's going to be all right. You know, I got, so I'm sending myself like, mama, you know, what's going to happen to you? You know, you my mama, you know, I don't know who's this. I'm thinking we here for ain't Cynthia. I mean, ain't Tiger. Her real name is Cynthia. Cynthia Pearson but we call her Tiger. And she's a Tiger. Anyway, so, also when, when she tell me that, so, you know, I'm young, so I'm just kind of brushing over, you know, so, uh, Lo and behold, a year or so after that, I was forced to move in with my mother. Now, mind you, my grandmother, we was at church, Sunday school, love, you know. 

pray together, whatever. You know what I'm saying? A family that pray together, they stay together. But I had my real morals and principles and values came from my grandmother. Your real love for women. Right, my real love. And I seen my other grandmother, because I was fortunate to have my great-grandmother and my dad's mother lived about four miles up the street, and my mother's mother, which we call Sweet, live another two or three miles of the street. Everything was walking distance for me. And I can go to anyone at my house any time of the day, after school, during the summer, whatever, and just walk in their house and they welcome me in like I live there. And that's what I appreciate the most. And that's why I miss that grandmother love, that real love. So the transition, the unconditional love. And so what happened was when I was forced to move in with my mother, 

Now, mind you, my uncles, all of them around, too. They around. And I noticed all of my uncles was players or hustlers. Even one of them was a real live pimp. And I actually stayed in a house with this particular uncle, like, you know, especially when I moved in from my grandmama passing, was forced to move to my mama. So, and her... My mom and this uncle in particular, older brother, they like this. They were real close. Right. He was real close. But he was the one that really, really out there with the women. Right. All my uncles messed around with more than one woman. I ain't never seen none of my uncles with one woman. It's a prerequisite in our family to have more than one woman. Okay. But anyway, so get to my bringing with my mom. The transition went from literally from hell, I mean from heaven to hell. Okay. 

I was in heaven with my grandma. I went straight to hell living with my mom. And I seen some things in my mom that, hey, man, it's like, man, it's unbelievable. You know, I just seen her cut people, fight people, stab people. Wow. Things that really stuck with me the most or really was detrimental to me was the act of sex that I see my mom partake in with the guys who she claimed that, oh, this your uncle. This cousin, such and such, family friend. So I'm saying to myself, Now, I know my uncles. And I look like a lot of my uncles. I know that she got four brothers. So, who are these fellas? Right. So, early on, I'm sharp. I'm observing. Right. And they'll go in the back room. They say, you know, I got the tennis shoes I wanted. We got food on the table. So, I start paying attention to the pattern. Like, when we lacking things around here, when this so-called uncle come by, they go in the back. We get some money. We get some money. So, actually, I hate to say it, but my mom was probably a prostitute then. Right. But... 

Without due respect, I think she was doing what she had to do to survive. Right. Reminds you she's 13, 14 years old, you know, having a child on the street. She was a real live street woman. So she grew up in the street. It was survival, you know. So I come to understand that now and appreciate that now as my daughter is, you know, and we talked about everything. But anyway, like I say, you know, it was hell living with my mom because we was really pit of the post. And everywhere we move, she'll get evicted. So all through our Sunnyside, all through our South Park, Hiram Clark, I done been to Madison, Worthing Sterling, I done been to Woodson Thomas, and that's how I know a lot of people. And it was towards my advantage with me being managed, for one thing. We were talking about me being managed. And how that come about, like I say, my mom living like a nomad, living from pillar to post, she would leave us with somebody. Now, what took place with this here, 

It was what we call a nanny, or somebody that's keeping us. Now, how old were you when you were with the nanny? Well, it started off, I was about like 10. Okay. When it first started out. And she used to keep, you know, not make, but have a nanny keep us for two, three days, or sometimes a week at a time, because my mama in the streets. And she busy. Right. She ain't got time to be a mama. Right. And it's two boys Sometimes I was really, but my sister come on a little after that. But at the time, you know, my sister wasn't here. My sister come from another mother. Me and my brother have the same mom and dad. And where was your dad in this part of your life? Well, I've seen, they had a toxic relationship, you know, and as far as I can understand, my dad was there, but he was like a cool dad. You know, he was a player. 

You know, and he took me and my brother around with him. Actually showcases us around so he can catch other women. You know, real handsome. You know, oh, he's so handsome. And then as soon as that, that opened the door for him to say something to them. You know, they're my boys, you know. And then they say, you know, that same girl was calling me handsome. We at her house, me and my daddy. You know, and then we get to the girl's house or whatever. He's like, man, give me the or them keys. I was driving. Yeah. And this was probably when I was about 12, 11, 12 years old. You dropped your daddy off and drove his car at 12? Right. Well, we'll go to this girl's house, one of his women's house, and he'll make them give me their keys. Oh, really? While he there taking care of business with them, whatever. I didn't take off in the car. I might turn from blocks or something. I started learning to drive just by that. Really? On your own? On my own, really. On your own, learning to drive. So my daddy, you know, he was the type, you know, hey, man, hands on. You know, you're going to learn it. You're going to figure it out. Figure it out. Go drive. Go drive. 

Come back and get me in two hours. That's right. You know, so, but I can honestly say, you know, not taking nothing from my dad. I wish he was a better dad. Right. We all wish that we probably had better parents, but I had what I had and I learned a lot from him. He was a street dude. Right. You know, and he was a player, you know. Okay. So, yeah. So, back to the nanny, like, how old would you say the nanny was? Well, at the same age as my mom. Okay. So, at this time, your mom was what, like, nine? Probably, let's say, let's say, 19, 20? No, probably. I'm 10 at the time, so 15, so what's that, 25. Okay. So she's about 25 years old. Okay. And the woman's the same age. Okay. They're the exact same, pretty much the same age. Or the woman probably was a little older than my mom, I'll tell you. Okay. Yeah. And yeah, so to tell you, to expound on that a little bit, so she, the nanny got us. And so she started off the grooming part, I call. She bathed, now you know back in the day, brothers, 

Took a bath together. So me and my brother bathed together. He was with my mama. He was with my grandmama. We bathed together. Right. So, you know, at his age. Two boys. That's normal. You know, I'm the oldest. He's a baby. You know what I'm saying? So, you know. Push up one. Right, right. You get out. You get out. Right, right. But I noticed she used to wash him up real quick and leave me in the tub. So while I'm left in the tub, she'll come in there, bathe me, wipe me down, make me stand up. You know, just make me feel like I'm taking a physical. Raise your nuts up, cough. Well, excuse my language. You know, raise your balls up, cough. You know what I mean? That's how I felt. But, you know, she was just, you know, examining me, you know, all the way. So, I guess she was grooming me. So, it went from there for a while. I'd say probably about, like, a good two or three months. And then it went from putting my brother to sleep early and to coming here, lay down with me. So, I lay down with her, you know. And I ain't thinking nothing of it. I'm thinking, I'm... 

Watch TV or whatever, next thing you know, she's caressing me, touching me or whatever, and kissing on me and stuff like this. So it went from kissing and touching all the way to I was probably 11, going on 12 years old. I ain't never said nothing until the penetration part come in. Now, when she started forcing me to penetrate her. And I'm just going with the flow. So she already got me comfortable by laying in the bed with her, by bathing me, all this stuff. So I ain't saying nothing. I don't know what to really say or tell until I end up telling my uncle. So wait. So Nanny, she has gone from grooming you to touching you to you guys. Were you following her or was she just doing you? No, I was following. She just... 

She was showing you how to do her. How to touch her and naming parts on her body and everything. And so she was showing you how things were supposed to be done at 12 years old. At 12 years old. And not to be too graphic, but when you penetrated her, like, did you use protection? No. No protection? No protection. I'm laying there with this woman like her husband and wife. But at 12, do you have, like... Yes, erection. Yeah, at 12... Semen comes out. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, at 12 years old, a lot of guys, you do the research... To pull out or... Having wet dreams. Right, at 12. A lot of guys at 12. Okay, okay, okay. You have wet dreams at 12 years old. You know, and some guys, you know, excuse the language, but masturbate at 12 and 13 years old at that time, you know, so... So... 

This nanny, like, was it just penetration or was it? Everything. It was oral? Everything you could think of. Because you are very graphic to tell me about the story. So as clean as you can tell this story, go into the details. Well, like I say, and I noticed, I've been so observant of her body, touching her body so much, like, I did R-types on this woman. And she was so pretty, as I think back now, even throughout my years, she reminded me of Foxy Brown. Really? Foxy Brown, the actor, Pam Grier And had the, what you call it? areolas areolas for the woman, the man. The areolas And not to be too graphic, she had a hairy vagina Right. And when she was making me have oral sex with her, to this day, I remember that shampoo smell. It was like, I forgot the name of the shampoo, but it was like that gold-looking bottle back in the days. 

Anybody can remember? Baby shampoo? It was some kind of baby shampoo. Johnson & Johnson? Yeah, some type of Johnson & Johnson. But I'll never forget it. And I can remember, and then we started bathing together. She used to always use that for her body, period. For her whole body wash. I can remember right now vividly looking at that bottle, and it's a shampoo bottle. And when I used to perform more sex on her, what she forced me to do, I always, that smell stayed with me. That smell. You know, she was clean. Think back, think about a woman's vagina. She was clean, but that shampoo smell left a stain on my brain. Right. That's all I can say. And just her period, her skin, complexion, everything, you know, and that stuck with my mind. And I think that's a dangerous thing to depict something like that for a child. Yeah. Yeah. 

a mind that's ain't really been developed. So what, yeah, what was your mindset back then? Was it like, did you think anything was wrong with what you were doing? Yes, most definitely. I wouldn't, at the time, that's what made me go tell my uncle. Okay. You know, and at this time, I called my uncle and I was like, uncle, I got something to tell you. And he was like, all right, I'll be over there, you know, he thinking it's probably something about, you know, fighting with a dude or something in the street, something happened, you know, young boy playing sports or something. Yeah. There've been times he had to come and, and fight an older guy or something. You know what's going on. So he pulled up on me. I said, man, I've been molested. He said, what? He's like, shit, where he at? He think I'm talking about, got to be talking about a dude. I said, no, it ain't no dude. I said, man, it's the lady that be keeping us. He said, what? He said, what you mean? I said, man, she been molesting you. I said, man, she been, you know, since I was, since really, since grandma, big mama passed Medellin, 

We had to move in with Tiger. When Tiger moved over here by Meadow Green, it started taking place with this woman. And he was like, man, so what happened? What's going on? I said, man, she been bathing me. And from bathing me, kissing me, showing me how to kiss her, showing me how to go down on her. That's the terminology I would use with my uncle. Go down on her. And then, so what you do? Did you, you know, did you F her? You know, that's the word you use. Yeah. I say, I mean, yeah, I mean, yeah, we had sex. Boom, he hit me in the chest and then grabbed me. That's what I'm talking about, nephew. You a man. So he condoned it. Yes. You know, as I think back, you know, I'm like, so from that point there, that really solidified me as being a man, a young man, a boy. This is what's supposed to take place. And from that point, I became a woman adventurer. 

Womanizer. Yeah, I mean, not really too much. So I was able to manipulate. I can have so many women to this day can say I was their first. Wow. I go in like the club. We got to here some Dreams And what are the name of the other clubs? Carrington, all that other stuff. And I can go in there and say, oh, I can walk up to about 10 to 15 women sometime. And just say, you remember me? Yeah, God, what do I do? Who was the first one they loved to? He was the first one. You, you broke my virginity So I was advanced. Girls my age couldn't stand a chance with me. I know how to touch them. I know how to kiss them. I know how to talk to them. Everything. So I was advanced from watching my uncles and for sure from that woman who had molested me. She taught me everything about a woman about it. Wow. Did you ever discuss that with your mom or your dad? My mom would have killed her. 

So your mom never knew about it? Never knew about it until she was on her rest in peace on her own dying bed. We talked about all that. What about your brothers? You don't think she was doing it to your brothers too? Well, I don't think so. But like I said, we ain't never talked about it. And I told him, me and him joked about it throughout the years. Like, yeah, she's put you to sleep and all this here. And, you know, we'd laugh and talk about it. But he said he can't recollect anything that she had done. So it was just you? It was just me. You know what I'm talking about? Well, me dealing with my family ain't no telling who else she did. 

So, you know, how the old saying go, and no telling what was her mind, what she come from, the nanny. You know what I'm saying? She probably was molested. Right. As a child. And thought it was okay. And thought it was okay. You know, had some, you know how things go on in the black family, all the families, period. Yeah. People molest kids and scare them off. All the time. Scared to speak on it. And they just live with that for the rest of their life. Right. So... And so, I mean, like I was taken aback because you sent me a text the other day and you were like, Mika, I really want to just apologize to you on behalf of all men. Like if someone hurts you or, you know, just any woman that has ever had to endure some real pain, you sent a message to me like, 

You know, you apologize on behalf of them because you are truly on like a spiritual journey, like your intentional healing, you know. And I had no idea you were going through all of this when we were in school. Like we're just laughing at home. We're telling jokes. We get in trouble. Like all the way up to Sterling, like that's about a six-year span. And you hid that so well, whatever you were going through at home. Mm-hmm. I'm, you know, like a person that saw you every day and I could never tell something. Well, not that I would know the signs, but I could never tell something was going on. Right. That's right. But I imagine, you know, like if you were having a relationship with somebody, I'm sure they probably got maybe some of that from you. Some of that pain. Backlash. Maybe that showed up in the form of you mistreating them or thinking it was normal just to have so many women at once, no matter who it hurt. 

Right. Or have sex with multiple women and just think it was okay because that was the norm in your household. Right. Can you walk us through maybe some of the relationships that you had during that time after you became a man? Like, what was that like? And did it, like, really stick with you how you hurt any of the women without saying any names? Right. Of course. Of course. Well, you know, I firmly believe, first of all, my involvement with these different women and the way I treated them, or even looked at them, stemmed from my mother. You know, and my trust issue was bad with women because how can I trust a woman, the woman that I'm supposed to love, because it's an old saying that your first, any child's first love and first teacher is his mother. 

Right. Rather, if it's a paternal mother, the grandmama, the neighbor, that's who he pretty much viewed other women. Right. And I was on a good track to view other women through my grandparents. There was some beautiful women to this day. I still have my, so to say, even when I was in my player mode, I always had a woman in my house that mimicked my grandmothers. Okay. The nurturer, the caretaker, the... You know, not the club, but not the, you know, the woman that cooked, the woman that cleaned, the woman that family-oriented. Right. You know what I'm saying? But my women on the streets. Your place of peace. Right. That's right. But the women on the street gave me that rowdy, rowdy water. Gave me, really, my mother. Yeah. You see what I'm saying? So, you know, and really, but looking back at my mother, you know, and I hate to say it, not trying to throw my mother under the bus, because we really had rekindled our relationship. You know what I'm saying? But it was... 

You made amends. Right, we had amends. We had a rough patch, especially when I got to the age of 14. Right. I left my mother's house and never came back. Okay. For us living with her. But I dealt with my mother in so many ways because you got to understand the mentality of a person. First of all, with an A-grade education, no more than A-grade education, giving birth at the age of 14, 15. Right. Yeah. Just endured everything you can possibly think of on the street level. My mother. You know what I'm saying? But just to see her, how she interact with men. So I'm saying to myself, man, I know my mama messing over this person, that person. And she done did this and did that. So what makes me think the next woman ain't the same as my mother? Wow. So no matter how they come in the picture with me, in the back of my mind, I'm saying... 

I got to treat them like my mother. Pretty much. The ones on the street. You know what I'm talking about? Especially the ones I'm running to women. So, yeah. But I can honestly say that the experience I had with a lot of black women, they had great intentions. And a lot of women have loved me. And I have loved some women. I'll tell my father, I love all my women. I don't know about y'all. If I'm involved with it, if I sleep with you more than two, three times, I love you. So any player in the world would let you tell you that he's lying. He won't be dealing with him. And you have to be a hell of a dude. And let's get this straight. I'm not a pimp. Never would, never claimed to be a pimp. A lot of people don't know what a pimp is. And I ain't here to give no definition of a pimp. I'm just saying that's not my lane. 

My lane is, and I don't intentionally, at the time when I was doing the playing, I didn't intentionally play on women. I didn't intentionally say, I'm going to play, I'm going to. My intention is, hey, man, that's my little mama. We grind, we're doing things together. But see, everything I have endured ended up coming out with these women. You know what I'm talking about? And that's what made the love grow. Right. You see what I'm saying? Every last one I'm from, and every last one I ever dealt with, either they helped me financially, of course they helped me as far as anything I needed to be done for business-wise, or she might be a good cook, or she might be clean. So every woman in my life had a role. Yeah. And I'm just in the center, and they doing this here, they need this here. And especially when you're not married, 

you just say, I'm single. I got friends. You my friend. And that's one thing we're gonna tell one we just friends you don't want a relationship and as soon as it start getting serious, then you try to back up a little bit and say hey I told you we just friends and they ain't trying to hear that and that's the danger and that is the danger. So how many women would you say at one time? What's the most that you've dealt with? So like you got your person at home run them through the roles for me well I’m gonna say this is one through five it has to be i know we're probably bringing i let's be mindful that before i went to prison i was a different person right after prison right and but all in the same time still quote unquote being a player right uh i tried to uh when i got out of prison i tried and i and and 

I hope she forgive me and she have forgive me. My ex-wife, which is my daughter's mother, I told her one day when we was getting to the end, I said, man, really, this is a trial and error for me. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So really, basically, I'm telling her, hey, man, first of all, I ain't never had no job, really. I ain't never, especially I ain't never been married and I ain't never lived in a house. So everything I have never started a business before. Right. So everything I have accomplished on this journey post-prison or after prison, was really trying to walk a straight path. Tried to circumvent my past. And especially running women. So what I need to do? Get married. Okay, well shit, let me get married. Maybe that'll mitigate my thirst for women. You're talking about right. And to remind you, I went to prison for 15 years without a woman. But my old saying used to be, I'm going to try to make clean... 

I had enough women in my life to retire before I went to prison. I'm 19 years old. When I went to prison, I got out when I was 36. I'm 53 now. So that journey. So when I came home, I ended up getting married. I came home 2007. I got married 11, 11, 11. I'll never forget that. 11, 11. month, 11 days, 11 years, 2011, 2011. And I had got married 11, 11, 11, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, that was good. That was to my wife. Yeah. But what happened with that? We end up, uh, of course, you know, like the old saying, you can, you can, you can take, take them out the hood, but you can't goddamn me take the hood out of it. So that player 

I subdued them for as long as I could. So I was out here and then what happened was, right, so I started really getting out. But first I was going to work, come home. Going to work, come home. You tried. I tried. I tried. You know what I'm talking about? And then I'm still, and then the thing is, is that my circle is still the same for my old friends. You got to understand the influence of your peers and your partners. All my partners are players. Right. Married or not married, you know what I'm talking about? They still playing the game. Right. Right. You know what I'm talking about? So, and I'm sitting back looking at it like, oh, yeah, that's the norm. But I'm saying to myself, boy, you should have squared up all the way. You thought it was going to come out of you though, right? Yeah, I thought it was gone. Right. You know, but, you know. Because you used to be like a person like, okay, well, you riding in the car, riding in the slam. Don't look at no other guy. Right, yeah, that's why I tell you. Go on, explain that type of story to them. Yes, real quick. And that's sick, and I'm just one of, you know, I want people, you know, they can judge my home, but. 

This was a thing in my neighborhood. And the thing was that, you know, well, you know, if I'm from Houston, you know, we ride the slab. And the slab is the car. You know what I'm talking about? So while we're in the car with a woman, we used to call the thing called ass-whooping contract. If she signed the ass-whooping contract, she in. And basically that's saying that if I already been telling you, hey, man, don't touch my radio. Don't do this and don't do that. Especially when we ride at the light and another dude pull up in his slab. I wouldn't give a damn if there's Jesus Christ over there. Don't look over there. And if you look over there, you're telling me you're admiring his car. Yeah, that was some sick stuff. But that was just the law in my circle. I don't know no pimp situation. I'm not trying to be no slave master and she's a slave. But these are the rules. And if you break these rules, I probably ain't going to tell you. I might slap you. I might jack you up. I might just put you out of my car, whatever. Whatever the case may be. 

After like, whatever, we'll get you out of there. Because I told you, don't look. And the ass woman contract is official once you drop her off, whether you didn't kick the ass or whether you didn't push her, just cussed out. Yeah. When she call you back, not you calling her apologizing. If she call, I'm going to take two, three days, take a month. Back then we had pages. As long as she didn't call, she was safe. She was safe. It's over. I'm saying it's over. But if she called you back. And after you either whooped her head or disrespected or whatever. She called you back. That's telling us that she with the program. So she just didn't sign her life over. She didn't really sign her rights of whatever the rights may be. 

And now we play on that. So what we going to do? Any chance we get, if we angry or we mad, we're going to take it out on her. Because she's going to accept it. And we're going to go make love afterwards. That's toxic shit. You know what I'm saying? Well, that's the mind of a kid. When I was young, 16, 17, 18, I was pretty, you know what I'm saying? But when I came home, I wasn't nowhere on that by touching a woman. One thing, I was a black woman. Now that y'all passed. Yeah. I don't think you weren't trying to. And my wife was, and my ex-wife, she used to go to the gun range. And she didn't even too much know about my past about no women. But I said to myself, well, I'm glad I made the transformation. That might be my last time. I remember this woman told me before I went to prison and when I was out here messing with a chick named and her mama, and we used to fight a lot. 

She been signed to as whooping contract. And her mama told me, she told me, she say, boy, you raise your hand at my daughter one more time. When we come to, when whoever come to your firm, while you're in that casket, your hand still gonna be up there. I said, yeah, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Okay. Thank you, ... She had one of them old school moms. She had one of them old school moms. I didn't mean to say her name. I know. Like, okay. But it's the truth. You know what I'm talking about? But yeah. So, yeah. But, okay. So, I am so glad that you have changed. You've matured. And you got a daughter. And, you know, you're setting a great example. And I hear how you talk about your daughter. You have the very fondest love. Absolutely. 

utmost respect. She is the apple of your eyes. So, I know daughters soften you up. Yes. And you want to, like, be able to live a life in front of them that you can be proud of. Right. So, I think that's part of, you know, she's getting older. And so, you gotta set the example that's right that's right most definitely I most definitely want her to meet nobody like I would. So, that's But if she do, you gotta help her out oh yeah I'm gonna see it I'm gonna right This is your past, but this don't have to be your future. That's right. Yeah. That's right. So great. So now let's get to it. Let's get to it. Let's get to it because you recently was involved in a very dramatic situation. At the age of 53. At 53. Still got some drama. So what'd that say about me? You made a decision because you were messing with a married woman. Yes. 

you decided to cut her off. Yes. And the almighty D, you know, it's a little hard to cut a woman off. Yes, I know now. And so i would like for you to tell us the story of the woman you were messing with because you decided that okay i'm gonna try this again i'm gonna try to be right i'm gonna i'm gonna go a different route, a different pattern. Right. But something crazy happened, so. Tell us about the woman that you cut off. Right. So, basically, me and her, we was having a relationship for about a good two years. And about a year and a half, a strong year and a half. But the last of it, you know, we was kind of like fading out. Right. Okay. So, and to put the ice on the cake that she had a husband. Mm-hmm. Still have a husband. He's married. He's married. All coming out. They've been together since... 

Since the day me and her started talking. Okay. And I know of him. But she tried to mitigate the situation and make it seem like, oh, he just, he ain't ever there, blah, blah, blah. Okay, well, I ain't tripping no way. I'm single. Right. So I'm with it. You know what I'm saying? Especially, I want you to have a man. That's the type of player I was. You want to be the one they cheat with. Yeah, I mean, they cheat with me. I mean, I'd rather get... Because I'm not permanent. I just want to be the one you cheat with. That's right. So that way you can go back to him. Right. And he has to pay the bills. Yes. He paying all the bills. Okay. 

He going with all the emotions, with the kids. She got everything. She got four kids. She got four kids. Okay. And one of the kids is his. The last kid is his. Okay. And don't get me wrong. And this is the message, too. Be careful who you shower your love on. Because... Even though, like I told you in the beginning, I don't seek women. I don't woo them to manipulate them. Right. It just end up happening because of who I am, where I come from. Your personality. You draw people to you. I draw them to who I am. You have a charismatic personality. And then any sharp person from the streets listen to what's going on with the individual. So you're going to either play on it or you're going, oh, that's you, period. That's just me. But you're going to brush up and enhance it. Right. Especially somebody that you're interested in. 

Without consciously trying to lure them in the wrong path. It's just, hey, this is me. This is what's going on. Okay, then is she like this? So she was telling me in the beginning that a man don't even send her flowers to a job. Don't even really know where she work at. Ain't never been up there. Whatever she's telling me. So you never know on the other side. I understand that too. But everything she was telling me he wasn't doing, I'm doing it times 10. Okay. You know what I'm talking about? So, and I liked her and ended up falling in love with her. She fell in love with me. We done been all over the world. We done traveled on planes. And then she ended up being on no plane. I'm the first one that took her on a plane. Right. You know what I'm saying? So, all of a sudden, it opened up her mind to a whole new world. So, when she come back home to him, the body there, she don't go, okay, good. Then she even went to the point to where she stopped having sex with the man and everything and got pregnant by me during this course. You know what I'm saying? And I really believe that that was my baby. 

Because I know one thing you understand. When you got a woman, she's focusing on you. Right. Nothing else matters. Right. I don't give a damn. She had to. She over there, but her mind and body is with you. With me. You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm saying? So that, and this on a regular basis, and the sex life is off the chain. We didn't have sex anywhere. All the restaurants. I didn't do everything that you can think of to do with a woman, with this woman. In a restaurant. Oh, yeah. We could be sitting down at the restaurant and... four-star, five-star restaurant. I said, I'm going to go to this restaurant. I already told her, well, dress with no panties. So when we finish, I'm going to go in the restroom and text her while I'm in the restroom, come on in here. So she goes, now, I'm smart enough not to go into the women's restroom because if I get caught with a man, if a man come in there and catch us, or she giving me oral or sex, whatever, or I'm into a sexual act in there, a man going to either smile, 

Give your thumbs up or walk up out of there. I don't care what's the national anthem. He ain't probably, now I'm talking about you, he ain't finna run and tell them But if I was in a woman's restroom, they gonna scream bloody murder So y'all had a system. Yes. So, you know, all that. And so that's the wild side of it. That's an adventure. Everybody wants that excitement. So that's something we can talk about. We get in the car and talk. You know, so all that. We did all that. So the thing is that now she's head over heels. Right. And which, don't get me wrong, and she's so, and she's a player yet, what we want to call. She used to go get hotel rooms, especially my birthday, anything type out there, she's going to already have it decorated. You know what I'm talking about? Let's say we finna go to Louisiana. She's already called down there and got the room set. We walk up in the room, it's full of balloons, full of champagne written on the wall just because. So I'm saying, I said, man, little mama. Do you think she used her husband's? 

No, she had to. Probably credit cards and all kind of stuff to pay for stuff, you know? So financial infidelity. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about? So all that, you know? Okay, okay. But the thing is, what really prompted me to kind of slide back from her, she was too disrespectful to him. Meaning that I understand, because I'm from the streets. Sooner or later, that man going to pop. Right. Whether he this tall, this tall. From the streets, church bar, whatever he is. It was okay at first, but it started to bother you a little bit. It bothered me. I got conscious of it. Not some fact that it could happen to me or that's wrong. But just the fact that she's sleeping because it could cause a major problem. Right. Or as somebody can get hurt. Right. And I'm going to protect myself. Right. That's all I'm saying. So I'm not looking for no trouble or nothing like that. But I understand a man. I understand love. Right. And let's get to how she come through the window. 

Through love. So the thing is, so mind you, I cut off pretty much cold turkey. Now I start focusing on a woman that I'm currently involved with. So what happened was I haven't been talking to her in a couple of months or so. And every now and then she'll call. So you got to understand, she's... Devastated. No, I don't devastate. She's fiending to be a part of me. I ain't trying to say like I'm all bag of chips. But I know I put it down sexually. I put it down romantically. I put it down again. And then we swap money. I do things for it, baby. Go for $500, go $1,000, go shopping. So I'm doing all, you know what I'm talking about? We really in a full-fledged relationship. Like y'all married. Right. But guess what? Really with the guy. Right. But my thing is we just friends. Right. But I love you. Yeah. I love everything. But we're friends. 

So I'm trying to give me some security just in case she catch me getting caught up. You know what I'm saying? We got this contract. We just friends. And what are you tripping for? You got a whole family at the house. And kids at home. So what will make you want to come and do anything, the things you did? So what did she do? This is. So like I told you, we wasn't talking for a couple of months or so. And she started back texting. So when she called me, I know when we talk on the phone normally, once we talk on the phone, I'll say, man, I need to see you. We back on. Yeah. Because that love, that passion is still there. Yeah, yeah. So, you know what I'm saying? We both, I was missing her at times. You know what I'm saying? So, and I know, but I know if I continue to talk to her, we're going to be back in the swing again. Right. So, I was just trying to. And you was trying to move on. I was trying to move on. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Trying to get myself together, my transformation, and even focus on one woman. You know what I'm saying? If I could, no woman. 

as far as myself getting myself together that's why i even went vegan everything I’m vegan now because of all the transformation right trying to change everything about me because everything I’ve been talking about right everything I’ve been taught especially from my family my uncles and how to eat how to live how to be what's wrong right what I’m saying so I’m finally trying to be me and do right and do me I’m talking about what I think is right for god so make a long story short I end up uh talking to her like two, three days before the incident happened. And this fresh. This was about not even a good month. Not, what, two, three weeks? Yeah. I think you said it was Thanksgiving? Right after, well, it had to have been the week right after, the Friday after Thanksgiving. Right. Or the next couple days after Thanksgiving. Because the girl, I not just recently moved into my house during that time. Right. So you moved a new girl into your house that you were seeing. Right. And she has a child. Yeah, she has a child. 

Okay. Right. If you want to spy on her, we can, but the reason why I moved in, we can spy on her. No. Okay. So the thing is that. A son at that age. Right. She got a son. A son, which I see in me. Right. You know, so I'm really there to give him the opportunities that I didn't have. Right. As a young boy. You know what I'm saying? So that's the whole conversation in itself. But the woman that came through the window, we're going to call her, the woman that came through the window. So the thing is this here. So she called me the day before. And yes, even I told her, I told her, I said, I love her. You know what I'm saying? So she was like, well, why we came brother? I said, man, listen, man, I'm just on a whole new journey. I just want to go on, focus on your family and everything. Let me focus on her. Maybe next year or something, do 25 we might and rekindle.  But right now, no. You know what I'm talking about? So at the same time, but I know why she is. I couldn't just come out and say, I got a woman at the house. She was going to come over there right then. So I just know, just by dealing with her, I know I'm just trying to handle it, let it ease, let it play itself off. Because I know sooner or later, 

But I don't talk to her nothing. She already got a man at home, so she can just say, where the hell we got? And she kind of feisty. She kind of like a little tiger. And that's what draws me to her. She remind me of my mama. Yeah. But she ain't the type of woman I want to have in my house. Right. But the woman that I can have fun, go out and talk shit. We talk. You know what I'm saying? We have fun. You know, outside and all this here. You know, she fit. She got the description of a street girl. Yeah. But at the same time, don't get me wrong, take nothing from her. She really going to school and everything. Yeah, she ain't just no hood rat type. You know what I'm talking about? But she just set aside. Right, right, right. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, so she do. But at the same time, you know, so what happened was. She make the decision to come on over because she can't get none from you. Right, that's right. No saying, no talking, no nothing. So mind you, I'm in the bed. It's Friday. This is how I go down. I'm in the bed and she called me. So I sent a call. 

Now, mind you, the new girl, she's in the shower. Her son is in one of the rooms. So I just hung up. I was already asleep. So I just hung the phone up. Then I cut my phone out and put it on the charger. I don't know if she probably... Yeah, yeah. Next thing you know, so it's around about 10.30, about 10-something. So the news, I can remember the news was just on. So I lay down and go to sleep. So next thing you know, the little boy come through the door. Boom, boom, boom, like kind of knock, well not really, kind of knock on our door closed. You know what I'm saying? Mama in that shower, I'm in that bed. So he knock on the door, come in there. I can tell he, you know, his general, you know, he panicking like, Mr. Guy Mr. Guy, somebody beating on the door. Somebody beating on windows. And I'm like, windows and doors, what? Now his room, mind you, it's all the way on the back side. You have to really jump the gate and come around the gate to get to his room. But he can hear my daughter wonder, 

room right next to here. So he hearing that, cause that's the front of the house. And so I'm get up. I said, my son, I said, boy, I'm tripping, man. I don't know where they are. So I'm walking towards the living room. So when I walked towards the living room, I hear boom, boom, boom. I'm like, man, what is that, man? He for real. Like, man, what's going on? So ain't no normal knock. Ain't no, it's banging. Like somebody got, like a police, everybody trying to get in there. I'm like, damn, what's up with that? So next thing you know, I look, I could see the shadow going from the kitchen part, back of the house, side of the house. I said, man, it really is something about the house. But I'm saying to myself, wherever it is, y'all trying to make a prank, this is your last joke. You know, some people that you know might want to play, you know what I'm talking about? Knock on your door and all, they're just playing with you. Probably want to come from out of town. You know, I know a lot of people, you know that. I'm saying to myself, boy, this is your last joke. Don't think it's funny. I'm coming out here, though. So, bam. Now, 

My eyes, I'm standing in my door of the master bedroom and the living room, I already seen them walk this way. So I don't see no more for a shadow through the window. Next thing you know, my back room window, boom, boom, boom. I say, man, so I start hollering, hey, who the, man, who is this? Hey, man, I'm telling you right now, I'm finna shoot through the, I'm finna, so next thing you know, I hear him come, boom, boom, to my, like trying to break my window down. They ain't talking, so I don't know who it is. Man, where my gun at? Where my gun at? I'm hollering to the girl that's in the shower. Now, by this time, she ain't got out the shower, peeped through the door. So, she peeped through the door. Like, what is all that noise? Because at night, it's supposed to have rained. She think it was raining. I said, man, where's my gun? So, the thing is, so when she said, I don't know what you be having by the bed. So, she hit a bang again. Boom! So, she closed the door. When she closed the door, she went and hid in the closet. Went in there and texted her son. Like, hide. Told him to hide in the room. 

In this closet. Okay. So, they out in the closet. So, she started hearing me. Where my gun? Where my gun? So, while the noise making, now here come the dumbbell. Come through the window. Boom. So, I see the dumbbell. Now, mine's the day before that. I'm in the backyard working out. And I promise, I looked at that dumbbell and said, man, I need to put that dumbbell up. Somebody might throw that motherfucker through my window. And so, boy, shole as I'm black. That thing came through the window. You remember me? So when it come through the window, now it reminds me of the blinds. The blinds, we just had the blinds. Everyone know because it's blind. It went through the blinds so I still can't see her. I got the double panel window. So the second dumbbell come through. When it came through the window, the blinds and everything come down and she's standing there looking like Wonder Woman, somebody. I say, I look at her, I say, man, what I say... 

Man, you tripping. Hey, no. And then she went to go on. I don't know. I want black woman go off custom. And I was going out. Now you got me effed up. Man, you got a whole woman over here. So first of all, how you notice it? Now, mind you, my truck and her car is outside. I got a garage. But the garage is messed up. So we had to park outside. Right. Well, how do you even think that figure that's a woman? Right. That could be my brother, cousin, or my daughter-mother. You know what I'm talking about? Just dropping my daughter off and coming by. You don't know what it is. And you ain't got wind that I got a woman. Right. So now, I'm sitting up there like, man, I'm really in awe. Like, this woman just really, like, you know, you got the picture. I sent you the picture of the house. You know what I'm saying? So she didn't climb physically through the window. No, yes. So now, while I'm sitting up there talking, mind you, I got on my underwear and just a muscle shirt. 

No socks, no shoes. I see all the glass. It's like I'm standing here and see right there what a while. And the window, it's bust out. So I'm saying to myself, I ain't finna go over there with a glass. I ain't got my shoes and nothing. And it's still dark in my house, in the room. I ain't got the light on yet, but the TV on. They're standing, you know. She's down there, now where the B at? Where the B at? Where she at? I'm like, man, who? What you talking about? Okay, okay, you want to play stupid? When she put that first foot in that window. I say, it's real. So she coming in. I remind you, when you bust a glass, you got all kinds of spikes. Man, she bleeding like a hog. When I see it, you can see it catch her. Catch her right here. She pumped up. Her adrenaline was so high. Emotionally, you know what I'm saying? So when she stepped, when she tried to get in, I grabbed right now, my arm is still messed up right now. I grabbed it. Like the old saying, you never know your strength. Yeah. 

Now this is mine, this is a 20 pound cast iron dumbbell. Yeah, I can just grab it right now. But by the time I get to 10, I'm all in. It's kind of, you feel me? But I grabbed it as if it's a piece of paper. And I grabbed it to prevent her from coming in. Think it was going to stop or something? I hit her. She's like, that's all you got? And came on in there. And when she came in, she swung on me. Well, I grabbed her. She may have been like 4'11". Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? But feisty. So, I grabbed her. Man, what's wrong with you tripping? No, whatever. Now, she's bleeding like a hog. I'm talking about bleeding. I had blood all over my throat. Like a crime scene. Man, like a crime scene. So, she's running away. She had a resident beating her. So, she went in the door with a girl, but not knowing she's in the closet. So, I grabbed her then. Now, imagine my house got... 

a dead bolt I mean, you got to have the key to come in or come out so I ain't got no key in the door, so I'm trying to get up. So, I got to go through the garage. And the garage messed up, so I got to let the garage up. So, I got the garage. So, she took out running through my house. Mind that she know my house cause she didn't get nothing. Yeah. She run straight to my daughter room. Oh, yeah. Your daughter ain't here. She ain't here. I'm telling myself, you lucky she ain't here. Right. You know what I'm talking about? So, the thing is make a long story short, I end up getting up, getting out of the house. By that time, the girl and her son calling 

9-1-1. Yeah. And we got an intruder. A burglar. Yeah. They don't know who it is. They don't know who it is. So, right. So, by the time I get outside, soon as I get outside, the law was put up. So, I'm thinking quick. Black man, full of blood, domestic violence. Yeah. A little bitty old girl. They going to probably end up killing me. So, I'm going to let her go real quick. I got on the ground before they didn't say lay it down. I'm on the house. Don't shoot me. I'm the victim. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? I'm hollering like a female. Oh, no. So, you know, by this time, now the girl done came out the closet. So, now I'm the one we called. They handcuffed both of us because they don't know. Yeah. They had to make sure. It reminds me, the girl come over there in her husband's car. Yeah. They had to show him. My dad and I ended up talking to him about the situation. Yeah. I had to ask him one thing. Man, you know me. You know everything about me, everything. What is it, man? 

that allow you to keep this woman and you know everything she did. And you know she got pregnant by me. You know this in the midst of your household. Man, I got to know, man. What is it? That man say, man, I'm just head over heels. I love her. I say, man, I respect that. I'll never mess with your woman again. Right. And that was what it was. Woo! I'm so glad that, you know, didn't end really bad for you. Right, right. And then, so, wait. So, wait a minute. We left a part out because he had to end up calling you. Right, that's what I'm just trying to tell you. I just briefed you up. Because she had to make her first jail call. Right. She had to get bailed out. And she had the audacity to tell her husband. So, she had to come up with something. Right. So, well, I seen a guy at the Whataburger. Now, mind y'all, he didn't even eat. 

Fast food I don't even know what I'm doing at Whataburger. Having a prayer meeting or something. So I'm up there. So she say she seen me at Whataburger. Right. And we got into it about why you ain't calling me and all that stuff. Right. And I took her phone. Right. Why would I take her phone knowing I got a woman there? And go straight to my house. Right. Is that a career? The dummy of the water there? So I'm not. And he knew that. Right. And he was like, man, it just don't add up, man. He said, it don't add up, man. You know what I'm saying? So he just wanted to know where his truck at. I said, man, she came over in your truck. They told you, bro. Right. And then he was nice and polite. And guess what? I didn't even know she wanted me to get at us so bad or whoever, the girl, at the midst of the struggle in the house, she ended up taking my garage door open and the key to my truck. I used to leave it on right there by the front door. So she grabbed it. And she know, because she know mine, she grabbed it. Yeah. 

I didn't know it. I didn't, because I'm pumping, I'm generally pumping, trying to, you know, really trying to protect these people in the house. Yeah, I made sure she could come back in that house once she come back. I did. So the thing is, he telling me, he say, man, the record truck, he didn't call me back after we got to talking about everything. He called me back and said, man, they said it's a Dodge key in my truck. I said, man, that's got, so I got, I said, hold on. I went through all this. Man, where my keys? If I wanted to go somewhere, I couldn't even, and then I ain't know what to do until the next day. I'm still in the house cleaning up the hood. Yeah, I'm still scared. I'm talking about, say, man, it was just, but that teaches me the lesson that there is that be careful who you, even who you charm. Who you really fall in love with or they fall in love with you because a lot of people can't take rejection. 

Oh, they can't take and cut off. That's what her main problem is. Women. Women. She can't tell you. She's a very controlling woman. Yeah. And then come to find out, if her husband didn't try to leave before, he told me, I didn't try to leave before. You know what she do? Come in buses, call one of the guys or something. Oh, that was what she did. Yeah, that's what she do. That was a pattern. She's known for this stuff. Fighting dudes and doing this stuff. I should have known she was crazy when she told me one day, we on the phone talking or whatever. I mean, she was texting me. I wasn't responding. That's what that girl told me. She said, shit, you better be down there with Tiger and Hooky. You know, my mama named Tiger, my brother named Hooky. And they deceased. She said, I better be down there in paradise down there because I ain't answering that phone. I should have known the woman was crazy then. Well, I'm so glad that you shared your story. I'm so glad that you took the time to just decide you wanted something better in your life. Right, right. 

And I think you're going to be the better going forward for it. I mean, I commend you for wanting to turn against that prior life you were living and wanting to do better by women. So I thank you for that. And I know that you're on this journey. So I kind of just want to ask you a few closing questions just to close it out because we covered a lot of stuff today. And so I know you're going to help some people. when they hear this podcast. So if you had the opportunity, because a pivotal time in your life was when you were years old. So if you had an opportunity to go back and say, talk to your younger self, your 12 year old self, what would you tell your 12 year old self about everything in life? Or how would you lead them? Or what kind of advice would you have for 

The 12-year-old Guy Well, that's a good question. Basically, I would go back and tell him, man, first of all, man, it's not your fault. You know, that you are basically, like I said in the beginning, that you're a product of your environment. Right. You're a product of your uncles. You're a product of your mom. And, yeah, you have... principles instilled in you from your great grandmother, but she's been long gone. So now all these things you have endured without the true love of your life, the true teacher. You know what I'm saying? So those people who taught you, they just taught you wrong. You know what I'm talking about? Your life is going to end up well. It's going to end up well. You're going to have a few struggles. You're going to have a few struggles because of the things that you have inherited from your people and from your community. Your background traits. That's right. All that. You know what I'm saying? Your first introductions to pimps, hustlers, gambling, all of that. Yes. But you're going to be okay. Just keep going. Stay strong. Stay strong. 

And remember the values that your great-grandmama gave you. Yes. It's always in the back of your mind. You can hear great-grandmama saying, hey, baby, you know, treat people good. Do right by people. In the end. In the end, you're going to win. You know what I'm talking about? And I'm a firm believer that no matter how we end up, if we are able to tell about our story or while we're caught up in our folly, If we can just have a moment to revert back to what we know, we will go back to what we know. Good, good, good. Okay. All right. So what about your mom and your dad? What would you tell them now about all the stuff that they exposed you to at an early age? Well, like I say, me and my mom really did have this talk. I would, again, tell her I forgive her. 

Because I understand what she went through. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Because she couldn't love me because she wasn't loved. How are you going to love somebody that you ain't never been loved? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So I really understand that. And then if you go back to my dad, his father got killed in prison trying to escape. So he didn't grow up with his father. His father went to prison and died when he was a young age. So everything he knew came from his community. Right. The streets. The streets. So that's what we all end up doing. But I will really tell her, thank you. For your strength, because she have taught me how to survive. And be tough. And to be tough. You know what I'm saying? And my dad, he was more the quiet. So I extracted my dominion from my dad. The gentleman. The gentleman, yeah. He cool. But he a fighter. If it go down, it's going down. Right, right. He known for scrapping. So our dad going to fight, but he's not the initiator. He's the finisher. 

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? My mama's the starter, the finish, the middle, the end. Yes. Tiger, everything. She's going to start the fight. It's going down. That's right. And that's what we got. And you even talked about you had to help her fight some of these men sometimes. Men and men. All these so-called uncles that went back down. Right. I look up, I got to. Because my mama done did something. Yeah. She's going to start it. She's going to start a fight. Yeah. So I ain't finna sit back and let no man jump on my mama. Right. They could be her real brother. I'm jumping in. Right. But I was at 12 years old. Fighting, especially, by this time, she ended up meeting my sister's dad when I was like about 12 or 13 you know what I'm saying? Real briefly, I was still staying with her. So, and they fought all the time I had to fight this man on a daily basis you know what I'm saying? So, you know those things like that stuck with me as a kid you know what I'm saying all throughout my adulthood so anything that come close to my experience with my mom and my family, you know, I'm on it. 

I'm talking about I'm on it. So, and what about the nanny? Like, I want to apologize to you on behalf of the nanny. Because you didn't deserve that as a kid. That's right. Like, you were in your tender years, your formative years. And no matter what she went through in her past, she did not have the right to violate you like that. And I feel like... I want you to just speak to the mothers because I know we talked about this before. We always try to protect our girls and this and that. But we also need to protect our boys as well because we always think men are men. But it's a very real thing that older women bless younger boys. That's right. That's right. And to expound on that and go right back to what I was telling you about my uncle, he had condoned. 

molestation Yeah. If he would have turned back time, say for instance, my uncle would have said, what, where that woman at? Right. And went and checked her. Right. And I put in my mind, that ain't right. Right. But he put it in my mind that it's okay. Yeah. What was going on with me. So, okay, that's what's going on. I'm finna go out and see everything I've been learning. Right. And I used to hear that, hear my mama having sex. So, all this in my mind playing back to what the woman's showing me and knowing my mama doing it and all this stuff here. So, But I would tell the women today, especially, we already know about the daughter, because I got a daughter. I don't let my daughter go spend the night nowhere. Me neither. I'm talking about she cannot, and they say I'm overprotective. Right. No, I'm not overprotective. You can't be. On my watch, my daughter will not, especially when I was living in and out. We was together all the way to my daughter was eight years old. My daughter ain't number 12 now. So I ain't been out of life before. I'm still, I'm an active dad. I'm talking about games, talking on the phone, sitting there, talking on the whole nine yards. You know what I'm saying? But- 

Or more, you know, when you're in the house. You know what I'm saying? So I wouldn't let my daughter go with my sister. She can go during the daytime, but when it get night, I need to come get my baby. Right. Well, it's late. We spend the night. No. No. Because the thing is, I don't know what you got going on. And you're from the same family. Right. And I'm not trusting my sister, but her company. Right. And her son. And she thought I was wrong about it. My nephew is at an age to where he's smelling himself, so to say. Right. And he advanced. So he see a little girl there. He can easily touch her and say, not saying that my nephew would do that. Right, right, right. I'm saying that's what happens. No, I totally get it. I totally get it. You know what I'm talking about? And then he's so big, he can be like, don't you tell your daddy I'm a kid, I'm going to do something to you. They know that happens. Right. But to prevent that even happening, do not leave my daughter alone with nobody. If it ain't you, whoever come get her, there's a door, because you're going to be responsible. Right. I respect that totally. So what I would tell, I'm going to make it real brief, what I would tell women that got young boys, they... 

They take it lightly that, oh, he's a young man. He can do that. You know what I'm saying? But I think we should preserve young men's virginity as well. Right. Until they get married or whatever. I think it'll work better. And I know we live in a society where that probably won't... That's not the norm. It's not going to happen. But if you can... Right. Teach your son to preserve himself until he gets married or until he's an adult. You see what I'm saying? Or at least if a child comes to you or if you notice a pattern that's a little off... acknowledge it, ask questions. Like, you know, is something wrong? Did somebody touch you? What's going on? Talk to me. I mean, you know, you have to have that open door where kids will be free enough to trust you, to tell you what's going on. So I respect that wholeheartedly. We need to protect our sons just as much as we protect our daughters. And men need to stop putting out the persona that it's a man to have sex. 

Or you man, oh, shit, that's my boy. That's a good thing. Especially, I know a lot of men do it when their son's 14 or 15. They feel like, man, you ain't get nothing. Right. You know what I'm talking about? Because he know that he was, the average man was having sex when he was 14, 15. Right, right. The average man. You know what I'm talking about? So he feel like, you know, his son's supposed to follow his lead. But no, that's not right. You know what I'm saying? So, you know, yeah. That's what I would tell him. Well, I thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I know it took a lot for you to share these personal, intimate stories. I mean, it needed to be said. This is a topic that we support here at the podcast. It's a platform for helping people change their mindsets, get out of the old way of living, and help your families. Talk to your families. Make it a norm for you to say, let's decide we're going to live right going forward. That's right. And we talked about... 

It got to start with somebody. It stops with us. Those old generational curses and generational poverty and generational just secrets of molestation, abuse. It stops with us. And here, I'm the person, you're the person. Whoever is on the train with us, we're trying to do better for the generation in front of us. Our legacy. We want to do better. So... I mean, I know you could share some really graphic stories. Yes, coming near you in the book. I got so many things. Not on a daytime, like a family show, but we will be talking soon where you're going to share some of these really graphic stories that you have endured. But again, you're putting a book out, so I know it's going to be a bestseller. Right, right. I'm looking forward to reading it. Thank you, thanks. So... 

Hey, that's our show for today. Thank you guys again. And this is the last episode of season one. We made it. We had 10 episodes. I can't believe it went so fast. But hey, Happy New Year. And we look forward to seeing you in 2025. This is the Influence Her Mindset Podcast where we have a platform of healing, The mindset for the family, for your finances, for your inheritances and your legacies to come. So you want to say any final words? Well, just close it out. I just want to say once again, I do apologize to every black woman that I came in their life and destroyed. And that, you know, if I can turn back the hands of times, I would probably at least for sure. 

Respect them and treat them better. I think that we as men have a tendency or a propensity of thinking that a woman is lesser than us. In which we understand the hierarchy of man of the house or head of the household, all that there. But we have to get back to respecting our women, especially black women, as we respect our mothers and our daughters. Oh, that's good. I like that. I would like to end with that there. All right. Y'all heard it here. And we shall see you in 2025. You want to say Happy New Year! Happy New Year!  2025. That's good. Bye-bye. Yes, sir. Thank you so much.