Hey , nanny Leader , and welcome to this week's episode of Leading Her Introvert Way . Listen , I am feeling really , really , really good and I honestly think it's the weather . The weather has now switched . At least where I'm at in the DC metro area , it has now switched to early fall weather , right . So it's really cool in the mornings , really cool in the evenings . In the daytime it's maybe like 75-ish Fahrenheit , and that is my weather .
Speaker 1I'm a fall girl , like my number one type of weather , and everybody thinks I am off my rocker when I say this , but I absolutely , absolutely love the rain , right , I like listening to the rain , I love the smell of the rain , I enjoy walking in the rain and that's just my thing , particularly when it's like cool outside and it's raining . I can walk miles in that type of weather , right . But and when I tell people that many people are like what , that's insane Like if I love the rain , yes , but I like to be on my couch and under my covers , not me . I enjoy being outside in the rain , but , second to that , my favorite type of weather is fall weather , when it's not blazing hot outside but it's not too cold such that you don't want to even leave your house Right . Maybe it's about school , the new school year , starting in the fall , but for some reason , when I think of rebirth or restarting over , it's actually the fall . It's like that September timeframe . So if you're listening to this real time , it's September 2025 and the weather has shifted and I have so much more energy . I'm just feeling really , really good .
Speaker 1All that to say , I am happy , as always , to be here with you and talking and , in fact , today is our episode 99 . This episode is episode 99 , which means we are one episode away from episode 100 . And I am still in disbelief about that . Disbelief about that . Honestly , when I started this podcast , first of all , it took me a decade to start this podcast , and I'm not exaggerating . When I first thought about starting this podcast , it was back when I was working for T Rowe Price , so that's like four jobs ago at this point . World price , so that's like four jobs ago at this point . I will share all the details in the celebratory episode , so in episode 100 , but it is my mind is blown that we are at that point because I this was just an idea . You know , I didn't even think this idea would ever come to fruition , and here we are approaching the milestone episode . So , with that said , we are going to be doing something a little special with the next episode , so stay tuned for that .
Speaker 1The other thing I wanted to say is I have an ask someone who has been listening to the Leading Her Introvert Way podcast all along , then I want you to do me a favor and , if you haven't already done so , leave a review . Share with me , share with the audience what you've gotten out of it , what you've learned , any actions you may have taken , because every time you share something and leave a review , that helps the algorithm push it out to even more introverted Black women who need the information or who wants the support , even if they don't already know they need and want it . And that's my goal . My goal is to make sure that we get this information out to as many people as possible . So if you're a long-time listener , please leave a review . If you're a new-time listener , this could be your first , your second , third time listening . If that's you and you also have gotten a nugget or two or even a major lesson from what you've heard so far , then please also leave a review . It is so important for us as a community to share with each other and to support each other . And one way that you can support other Black , introverted professional women is to see that this type of information gets in their hands . So I have appreciated all of the support that you have given me up until this point and given each other up until this point , and I just want us to keep going and keep moving it forward .
Speaker 1All right , and then the last announcement , before we jump into today's topic , is that the doors to my one-on-one coaching program are now open . It is , if you're new here , the name of my program is called the Elite Executive Experience and it is one-on-one private coaching around your goals to either get promoted into the next level of leadership , particularly senior leadership and executive leadership , to be able to negotiate your compensation package and earn an additional $50,000 to $100,000 per year , and or to just be a better leader . So many of us do not get any training . We take on new roles and responsibilities as leaders , and our companies , our schools , our work environments do not provide us with the support that we need and the skills that we need to take on even greater leadership roles . If that's you , if you fall into any of those three categories , then the Elite Executive Experience program is for you . So just go to the show notes , click the link , sign up for a conversation with me no obligations , and then we'll just have . We'll talk about what your compensation goals are , what your leadership goals are , and we'll determine whether or not it makes sense for us to work together .
Speaker 1Okay , so with all of that out of the way , let's now jump into today's topic . Actually , today's episode is the fifth in our money series and we're continuing the conversation . If you haven't , if this is the first time you're listening and you haven't listened to any of the other episodes , go back and check out from episode 95 , which was the first time that we focused on the topic of money . Check out 95 , 96 , 97 , 98 . They're all focusing on a variety of different topics around being a Black , introverted woman who is a professional , and money the money we earn , the money we lose , the money we spend , and all of that good stuff .
Speaker 1Today , in particular , what I want to talk about is tackling the fear that so many of us have around negotiating what we should be earning based on our years of experience , our skills and our knowledge . What we usually talk about is how hard we work , how much we give of ourselves right , and that is 100% excuse me important , particularly because we , as Black introverted women , are always the ones who are self-sacrificing . But today I want to talk about the mistake that I see so many Black introverted women making in terms of not negotiating the salary that they should be earning , and not should be earning based on how hard you work , but should be earning based on the value that your skills and capabilities contribute to the value that your skills and capabilities contribute to the organization that you serve . I call it the $100,000 mistake , but , frankly , sometimes it's more than that and sometimes it's less than that . So here is a math problem that's going to make you absolutely sick to your stomach . A woman earning $120,000 who waits one more year to negotiate a $20,000 increase doesn't lose just $20,000 . She loses about $847,000 over the lifetime of her career , and that's just the money that we can count . So I am talking today to the woman who's been telling herself maybe next year is going to be the year that I do something about the salary that I'm owning . You've been telling yourself this for the past three or four years . I'm also talking to the woman who thinks she's being smart by waiting for the perfect time to have a compensation discussion with her boss or with HR . I'm also talking to you . If you have data , you already know that you're being paid , and you're being paid under the market , yet you have turned a blind eye to it just because you don't want to deal with the confrontation . You don't want to rub anybody the wrong way .
Speaker 1Today , my friend , is the day we're going to do the math that you've been avoiding . So what we're going to do is we're going to break down three types of costs . We're going to break down three types of costs . We're going to break down the immediate cost , we're going to break down the compound cost and we're going to break down the cost that nobody talks about . Let's start with what you think you're losing , right , just this year's money .
Speaker 1If we stick with this scenario that I talked about in terms of making $120,000 , that means that if you're supposed to be making another 20K , if you choose not to negotiate another 20K , that means that just in your base salary alone , you're losing 20K . Right , you are not making that additional $20,000 per year . However , if we think about it , it's not just base salary , because if you're making $120,000 right now , you likely have some type of bonus potential associated with what you can earn on an annual basis , and most annual bonuses are a percentage of your base salary . So if you're currently making $120,000 , but you're leaving an additional $20,000 base salary on the table , that means that your bonus for the year you're going to lose money as well , because you are leaving $20,K on the table . And if your bonus is 20% of your base salary , that means you're leaving an additional $4,000 every year , or at least this year , on the table . So so far , adding that up , you're leaving $20,000 on the table , losing that money from the base salary , plus an additional $4,000 of what you would have gotten with your bonus . So that's $24,000 that you're out right . By the way , some people's total annual salary is $24,000 . But you , my friend , are leaving K on the table on top of what you're currently earning , right . And then , obviously , if you are in your 401k plan , you have a 401k match you're probably leaving an additional 1k or 2k on the table . So , all together , for the year you are losing about $25,000 in compensation . Based on the scenario that we just said at the top , which is you're making $120,000 in salary plus you earn 20% in bonus every year .
Speaker 1Okay , but wait , there is more . According to PayScale , professionals who negotiate their first job offer earn an average of $5,000 more every year throughout their careers , which means women who negotiate once are eight times more likely to negotiate again . So what does that mean for you ? It means that it's not just the $25,000 this year that you're losing . That $25,000 becomes your new baseline for every future negotiation , meaning that if you negotiate your $25,000 , that additional $25,000 that you get now , what happens is your negotiations in the future bring you even more return .
Speaker 1Okay , okay , so we talked about we just went through the immediate cost , right ? Your choice to not negotiate and that's what it is , that's a choice . Your choice to , even though you know you should be earning more money , even though you know the people , or you suspect the people around you are out earning you , despite you being more qualified , having more experience , even though you are choosing to leave money on the table , that choice is costing you , for sure , money this year in lost income , right ? And in our scenario , it's about $25,000 that you're leaving on the table . That's just this year's cost . That's the immediate cost . I promised you we'd also talk about compound costs , right ?
Speaker 1So with compound costs , that is where the math really starts to get ugly , because next year's raise is calculated from this year's salary , and then next , the second year's raise , two years from now , that's going to be calculated on next year's salary , and so forth and so on . Right , and we all know that at the job , at work , every year , whether it's a merit increase or a salary adjustment , it's all done as a percentage of your base salary . So , whatever you have now , that is setting the tone . That is the baseline for what you can have tomorrow and the next year , and the next year and the next year . And , by the way , even if you choose to leave your current job and you go to a new company , same thing . The same thing is happening , because most companies in the world calculate your salary as a percentage of increase . Even when you go to a new company , they have their span of what they're going to offer for the specific role that you are taking on , but they too will look at and compare to the salary that you're leaving on the table Sorry , leaving at your former job .
Speaker 1Okay , so the compound costs ? All right , let's go back to our example . Remember , our current salary is $120,000 , right , it could have been $140,000 if we had chosen to negotiate , then you get 3% annual increases on $120,000 per year salary , versus $140,000 if you had negotiated per year over the course of 20 years . That career difference hold on to your hats . That career difference is $487,000 . So about 500K . Okay , that's the career difference that you have lost , that you have forfeited because you didn't necessarily negotiate right now this year at 120K .
Speaker 1Now there's also an impact to your retirement , which means that the fact that Black women retire with 60% less wealth than white women , every delayed negotiation that you take , every time you choose not to negotiate a higher salary for yourself , it widens that gap , not just for today but also for your retirement . Let me just go real quickly through the 401k impact . So when you have a lower salary , that also equals lower 401k contributions and lower 401 K matches by your job . So , over 25 years with compound interest , that 20 K that we chose to leave on the table this year , that results in an additional retirement loss of $360,000 . So just to be clear , just to make sure we're on the same page , that 20K that you didn't ask for this year it's actually costing you $847,000 over the course of your career lost base salary income and lost retirement income .
Speaker 1Crazy , right , but no one teaches us to think about these things . No one points out and connects the dots between what we're earning today , or what we fail to negotiate today , versus the long-term impact . And that's the compound effect . Now we're still just talking about money , but the career cost is even worse , right ? So here are some statistics for you to think about .
Speaker 1Only 3.2% of Fortune 500 CEOs are Black women , black women . 58% of executive roles are filled by internal promotions , which is fantastic . But if we , as Black women , do not put ourselves up for those promotions , if we don't raise our hands , insist that we should be considered for these promotions , then every other demographic is going to be seen , heard and valued over us . And one of the reasons why I am so passionate about making sure that we , our sisters , you , me , every other Black woman who's listening to this , the reason why I insist that we not only put ourselves up for promotions , not wait for our companies to tap us on the shoulder , but put ourselves up for the promotions inside the organizations , and the reasons why I insist that we negotiate for the dollars that we should be earning in the roles that we're playing inside these organizations is for this purpose because , yes , that's what I want for you , but not just so that you can build individual wealth , but that you can , over the course of your career , make the biggest damn impact that you possibly can and , while you're doing it , get your bag Like . That's what it's all about .
Speaker 1Yes , we want to make a difference in the world , but we don't got to be broke doing that . That's my whole point . Yes , we want to get a difference in the world , but we don't got to be broke doing that . That's my whole point . Yes , we want to get in positions of power so that we can change the landscape for everybody , including the generations that come after us , but that don't mean we got to . You know , scratch two nickels together , we can have our individual wealth and we can do some real good , real good in this world , even working inside the organizations that we are working in .
Speaker 1So we talked about the immediate costs , like what you would lose this year if you don't negotiate . We talked about the compound costs , what you would lose over the course of your entire career . And now I want to talk about the psychological costs , because you know I'm swinging from my psychological , my psychology bag , and it just wouldn't be a podcast episode if we don't talk about that . It just wouldn't be a podcast episode if we don't talk about that . So the confidence piece is really , really important , because the money is just the symptom .
Speaker 1But the real damage is what happens to your relationship with your own value when you choose not to negotiate for what you bring to the organization , when you choose to say , hey , I'm not going to even bother , they'll pay me what they think I'm worth . Or I don't want to rub anybody the wrong way . I don't want to , you know , rustle any feathers , or I don't want them to think that I'm not a team player , I don't want to seem greedy . Right ? When you say these things and you put off negotiating what the equivalent of what you are contributing , then you are jeopardizing your own relationship with your own value , right ? So year one , you'll say something like I'll ask next year , when I have more experience . And then , in year two , you'll say something like oh , I'll ask after I make a slam dunk out of this big project . And then , year three , you'll say something like maybe I'm not as valuable as I thought because they're not giving it to me . Why do I even have to ask for it ? And then year five , you'll convince yourself that you should just be grateful for what you already have . You're not just losing money when you do this .
Speaker 1When you have these thoughts , when you succumb to these thoughts , you're training yourself to accept less . And if you're training yourself to accept less at work , I can't even imagine where else you might be training yourself to accept less . When this happens , when you fall into this trap . When you fall into this trap , you have lower expectations for future roles . You get into the pattern of accepting first offers instead of negotiating anything . You put yourself in a position where you're staying in underpaid positions longer and you're also modeling acceptance of less for everybody else . That's watching you your kids , your spouse , your family members , your direct reports , your peers and even yourself .
Speaker 1It comes to the value that you're contributing to the organization and getting the equivalent in return . You start believing that you don't deserve advocacy . You start believing that you need to accept what you are offered . So why does this matter ? And why does this matter more right now , in our current market ? If you're listening to this real time , we have over 300,000 black women who have been pushed out of the workforce just in the year 2025 , right , and those of us who are still employed . We have leverage Companies are still under pressure to retain diverse talent .
Speaker 1Even when we are in this world right now , where DEI is under attack , the majority of our companies are still under pressure to retain diverse talent . They want to keep the talent , the diverse talent that they already have , and they're still recruiting for diversity . And then budget planning season is coming up right . We're ending , we're heading into fourth quarter right now , and this is when the big decisions get made about budget , about salaries , about bonuses .
Speaker 1So there is no perfect time to negotiate , there's only expensive time , and that's any time that you don't , anytime you choose not to negotiate .
Speaker 1That is expensive time . So stop calculating the cost of asking and start calculating the cost of not asking , because every day that you wait , every day that you make excuses as to why you can't or shouldn't or won't negotiate your salary is compound interest working against you instead of for you . All right , lady leader , let me just wrap this up by saying that time is the one resource you cannot negotiate for . You can't get more of that . You can't go back and reclaim the salary you didn't ask for five years ago , but you can stop the bleeding today . Your future self is depending on the decisions that your current self makes right now . Don't let her down . Sis , if you're tired of calculating what you've lost and you're ready to calculate what you can , then click the link in the bio and set up a conversation with me . We can strategize about your approach and we can also talk about whether the elite executive experience is a good fit . Until next time , lady leader , keep leading your introvert way .