Leading Her Introvert Way: Conversations about executive leadership, career growth, business and mindset for mid-life Black women.

56: If Your Company Doesn't Value You As An Introverted Leader, Do This

• Nicole Bryan

Share episode

Unlock the secrets to thriving as an introverted woman in the workplace. Learn how to cultivate a professional relationship with your company that’s just as fulfilling and balanced as a personal one. This episode guides you through the art of setting and maintaining professional standards, ensuring that you recognize your own worth and establishing non-negotiables from the start.  From the necessity of regular check-ins and professional development to the critical importance of proactive compensation reviews, we explore strategies for introverted women to assert their value and effectively communicate their unique thinking style, ensuring they get the respect they deserve.


______

LET’S CONNECT!

Interested in working with me 1:1? Work with me to land your executive promotion, increase your impact at work, hone your executive presence and increase your salary by $50-100k.

Learn how I can help you become an elite executive.  Book your call here.


Speaker 1:

Hi there, lady leader, and welcome to Leading Her Way. This podcast is for introverted professional women who are dedicated to being the best leaders they can possibly be and who are also ready to take their careers to the senior leader and executive levels. I'm your host, dr Nicole Bryan, and I am an executive coach who has dedicated my career to helping introverted women like you take their careers to the top. I am a firm believer that the only way that we are going to change the world of work is if we have more estrogen and more introversion in the senior ranks of for-profit and nonprofit organizations around the world, because right now we have mainly white men in positions of power inside organizations making decisions for us as women. And when we can change that and get more women inside organizations in the senior levels, then we can be assured that we are being represented, that we can start closing the compensation gap between men and women that exists around the world, that we can have fair and equitable policies that are family-oriented and support us as women, and so much more. Until then, we will continue to operate in a work world and a broader world where our contributions as women continue to be undervalued. And I don't know about you, but I am committed to changing that shit during my lifetime. Now, today, we are talking about something that might feel familiar to you dating but it's not the kind of dating you're thinking of. We're talking about today your relationship with your company and why you need to approach it with the same standards that you bring to your personal life, need to approach it with the same standards that you bring to your personal life.

Speaker 1:

Now, remember when you first joined your company. It might've been last month, it might've been last year, maybe it was five years ago, maybe it was 15 years ago, but when you first joined your company, everything was exciting. The interviews that you participated in those were excited was exciting. The interviews that you participated in those were excited. The promises of growth, the attention to your needs and your aspirations. That was the honeymoon phase and, just like in dating, it shouldn't end after you've committed. So here are some signs that your company, your organization, is courting you in a healthy way. The first is if you get regular check-ins about your career goals. The second is if they are investing in your professional development, and that investment could be in terms of time or money. The third is if you are being recognized for your achievements. A fourth is that you have proactive compensation reviews and, as a leader, when I say compensation, I mean compensation in terms of the big C, so not necessarily just your salary, but also your bonus or any stock options or how much vacation time you get. So proactive compensation reviews. The fifth is if you are given meaningful stretch assignments and opportunities. If you're not experiencing any of these right now, then that is a clear sign that your company has stopped courting you.

Speaker 1:

Now, if you are like many other introverted women, then you are likely so focused on proving your worth, on working long hours, on trying to demonstrate how smart and how valuable you are, that you have forgotten that you are also the prize. You wouldn't accept it if your husband or your spouse or your partner or your boyfriend stopped putting in effort when it comes to your relationship, so why would you accept that from your employer? Just like you establish boundaries and expectations in your personal relationships, you also need to do the same thing at work, because your introversion is not something to be shied away from here. It is not something to be hidden under the rug. It is not something that should be treated like a disgusting disease. Your introversion is a source of strength and should be leveraged as such. You have so many great qualities You're thoughtful, you're observant, you're an idea generator, you're a problem solver, you get things done and with all of these fantastic qualities that you bring to the relationship with your employer, you need to be making sure that you are getting what you need from them as well. It's a two-way street. Anytime that it becomes a one-way street, we've got to course correct. So here are some key strategies for setting your professional standards with your company or with your organization.

Speaker 1:

The first is that you have to define your non-negotiables early and again. The analogy here is the same thing that you would do with even friends that you have, as well as romantic interests. Right, you already know what you're willing to stand for and what you're not willing to stand for, and very often we have to be 100% clear about that in our personal lives and our personal relationships. The same is true in your professional relationships and the relationship that you have with your employer. Defining your non-negotiables early and clearly is extremely important, and so what does that look like? That means that you will dictate or request that they use certain clear communication channels. Right? As an introvert, you may not want to or feel comfortable being in large group settings or communicating in large group settings, but you may prefer and know that your best type of communication is either in written form or it is one-on-one or in small groups. But being able to talk about that and share that information is extremely important.

Speaker 1:

The other thing in terms of defining your non-negotiables early would be demanding respect for your thinking style. Many of the introverted women that I work with don't even communicate, at least before we start working together. They don't share with their boss and with their team or their direct reports that they are introverted. So because they're not willing to share that proactively, then other people are left to kind of fill in the blanks and make assumptions about their leadership style because of their introversion or because of what they're experiencing. Of my client's introversion, demanding respect for your thinking style meaning many of us, as introverts, we process things different, so we need either more time or we might need quiet space before we're able to contribute in a way that is valuable. But asking for that or explaining that that's the way you work allows others to give you the grace that you need. And another way to define your non-negotiables early is to ensure that you get recognized for your contributions. Just because you're quiet, just because you are not as loud as everyone else, doesn't mean that your contributions are any less valuable and that they shouldn't be recognized.

Speaker 1:

Another way that you can set your professional standards is by communicating your expectations professionally. Many introverted women will wait until the company tells them what is expected, and that naturally happens, right? Because you have your job description. You have what your boss might tell you in terms of your goals for the year or whatever. Those are all expectations that are being told to you by the company. It's what the company expects of you. But my question I'm asking you at this time is when are you telling the company or when are you telling your boss what you expect from them? Many of us do not have those conversations, and we should because, again, the relationship is two way. We literally give our power and our authority away when we don't make the ask of some what I think are very basic things. So when we talk about communicating your expectations professionally, that could look like having regular career development discussions with your boss, or maybe your boss's boss. It could also look like having transparent feedback loops, soliciting proactively soliciting feedback from your boss, from your colleagues and peers, from your direct reports. Another way that looks like is asking questions and getting an understanding so that you can have clear paths to advance your career in the organization.

Speaker 1:

Remember, you taught your partner, or you have taught your partner, how to love you properly. Similarly, you need to teach your organization how to value you properly. Now I can hear you thinking I shouldn't have to teach them, they should know. Or there's hundreds thousands of employees here. They should already understand how to demonstrate that I'm valued or how to give me the opportunities that I want. I get that. That's how you think and, frankly, the world would be so much easier if it was that simple. But I think we both also know that working inside organizations, no matter what size they are, organizations no matter what size they are is a complex thing and frankly, I don't know about you, but I don't want my company or my boss making any assumptions about what I want and what I need. I would much rather gather the courage to actually tell them what I want and what I need, to ensure that I get it. Okay. So now you might be thinking all right, nicole, I get it. I get the dating analogy and I could see how it would benefit me to ensure that my company, my corporation, my nonprofit, is courting me. But how could I actually tell?

Speaker 1:

What are the warning signs if that courtship isn't happening, if it's failing? Okay, well, I'm glad you asked because there are a few red flags that you can look out for. The courtship is failing if your growth conversations, your career growth conversations, start becoming infrequent or you don't have them at all. Your courtship is failing if your achievements are constantly overlooked. Your courtship is failing if you get passed over for key projects that you see other people who are either your peers or less qualified than you getting all the time. Your courtship is failing if someone promised you mentorship or a promotion that hasn't materialized and your courtship is failing if your compensation stagnates while your responsibilities continue to grow, while they keep asking you to take on more and more, but you're not getting anything in return.

Speaker 1:

Lady leader, do not fall into the trap of silently hoping things will improve. You wouldn't do that in your personal relationships, so don't do that in your professional relationship with your company. You are the freaking bomb and, as a result, you deserve to be valued at work and you deserve to be courted. And if that is not happening for you, it is not too late to make a change, and if you are feeling like you're courted but it is inconsistent, you also have the power to ensure that it happens all the time, not just some of the time.

Speaker 1:

So, before we wrap up, I want to give you a power thought for the week, and here it is. You are the CEO of your career. Let me say that again. You are the CEO of your career, and what that means is is that you get to make the decisions. You get to grow your career as far as you want to take it. You get to determine how much you get paid. You get to determine where and how you find joy at work. Just as you wouldn't let a romantic partner determine your worth or steal your joy or put limits on who you can become, feel your joy or put limits on who you can become, don't let your company do it either.

Speaker 1:

Okay, lady leader, that is all I have for you this week. If this resonated with you, then please share it with another introverted leader who needs to hear it. And if you found value in this episode, before you go, click on the show notes and give this episode a five-star rating. Your support helps us to continue making this content and it helps us to spread the word as far as possible and to allow other introverted women to join our podcast community and find a safe space for themselves, personally and professionally. Okay, lady leader, thank you, as always, for being here with me and sharing this time and until next week, keep leading your introverted way.

Speaker 1:

That's a wrap for this episode of Leading Her Way. Thanks for tuning in. If you have thoughts, questions or ideas for future topics, connect and send me a message on LinkedIn and if you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe and please take a minute to write a quick review on Apple Podcasts. Your review will help spread the word to other ambitious females so they know they're not alone and that this podcast is a community of support for all of us. Leading her way to the top, remember your leadership is needed. Your leadership is powerful, so lead boldly Until next time.