Leading Her Introvert Way: Conversations about executive leadership, career growth, business and mindset for mid-life Black women.

59: {Listener Question} How To Confidently Negotiate Your Raise As An Introverted Female Leader

• Nicole Bryan • Episode 59

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Ever wondered how to assert your worth confidently as an introverted leader?

In this episode, we navigate the art of negotiating a raise, even if asking for more makes your palms sweat.

This is tailored for introverted women leaders, especially those like our listener—a vice president of development who hasn't seen a base salary bump in four years. We unravel the strategies to leverage your position of strength and the exact step (and words) you can use to make the ask.

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Speaker 1:

Okay, hi, lady Leader, welcome back to another episode of the Leading Her Way podcast. If this is your first time here, welcome, welcome, welcome. My name is Dr Nicole Bryan and I am your host. I am a introvert, I am a all the things. I am a chief human resources officer, I am a psychologist, but most importantly, I am an executive coach and I have dedicated my career to helping introverted women get into the executive level and into senior leadership roles, and I have helped them to continue to become better leaders every day. So if that is you, or if any of those things describe you, then you are definitely in the right place. So today is going to be and you probably can tell by the title we are going to be answering a listener question.

Speaker 1:

Specifically, a couple of weeks ago, I put a call out to my newsletter community and if you are not getting or subscribed to my newsletter, which is called the Leader Lowdown, then definitely go into the show notes of this episode and get yourself on that list, but I sent out a call exclusively to my newsletter subscribers and opened up and invited them you to ask me any question that you might have that you want answered any career question, any questions about being introverted, anything about getting promoted or anything that has to do with work or life.

Speaker 1:

Frankly and we've gotten a couple of questions in, so I'm excited about that the one that I want to talk about today I chose because it's very timely, although this question came in through my newsletter subscribers. The truth is, I've gotten this question a couple of times in the last few weeks from other people as well, so I think it's the time of the year, so I want to address this question. Unfortunately, the audio that she left, unfortunately, was a bit garbled. There was a lot of background noise, so I'm not able to play the audio voice message, but I will read her message verbatim so that you can hear the exact question and so that we can answer the question as well. So, before I move on, I do want to say thank you to this listener in particular. The question, like I said, is very, very relevant and I think it's going to open up probably the opportunity to talk about this topic even more on our podcast. So thank you for submitting it and let's go.

Speaker 1:

Let's jump off. The question is hi, dr Nicole. I'm a vice president of development in a small company. I report to the CEO and want to ask for a raise before the end of the year. My span of responsibilities are not changing per se, but I am the only member of the leadership team that has been a consistent partner. All of the other roles have turned over. The other thing is that I haven't had a base salary increase in four years, but I have received generous bonuses. What's the best approach to getting what I want for my raise?

Speaker 1:

This is a great question for many reasons and I'm sure, as you are listening, you can relate to this right, because there are oftentimes when we get into leadership positions where there's some assumptions for some reason, that we don't want or need salary increases, that we are somehow immune to. You know having to have salary discussions, and I think, particularly for us as introverts, it can be even more challenging or intimidating to have these types of conversations. Even when we have really good relationships with our boss or with our companies, it can feel uncomfortable talking about money. You have not already listened to the podcast that I did a couple of weeks ago on abundance and on building wealth, the definition of wealth then definitely go back and listen to those episodes. I'll also tag them in the show notes too. But, like I said, very timely, very good question, very timely question. So let's talk about how I would respond to it.

Speaker 1:

Many of us find ourselves in a situation where we have a preferred approach to negotiating anything related to our jobs and our positions or our careers. Some of us avoid it all. Right for very like I said, because it feels intimidating, because we are afraid of what the answer will be. Maybe we anticipate that it's already going to be no, so we don't even want to bother. That it's already going to be no, so we don't even want to bother. But when we don't avoid it, then as introverts, we usually want and prefer to have time to prepare and to take a measured approach to making the ask or to negotiating. So let's break down strategically how we might approach this and how you might approach this going forward. First, in this particular situation and I'm now talking directly to the VP of Development- in this particular situation.

Speaker 1:

You are in a position of strength because you've already demonstrated incredible stability and reliability during a time in your company's history where there has been a significant amount of leadership turnover. So that already is, and should be, incredibly valuable to any organization, especially to a CEO who has experienced the cost and the disruption of executive turnover firsthand. I say that because, when you are in a position of strength, that should give you more courage and more credibility to stand on as you think about how you want to make the ask. When it comes to approaching this conversation, what I would want you to do is many people will think about well, should I go to HR to have this conversation? You know, should I go through my boss per se? Should I go directly someplace else? And in this regard, because you report directly to the CEO, I would not bring anyone else, including HR, into the conversation. If HR needs to be brought into the conversation, they can be invited into the conversation later. You report directly to the person who is making the ultimate decision, which is the chief executive officer, and so you should be preparing to have your conversation directly with him or her. Be preparing to have your conversation directly with him or her Before the meeting or before the conversation. What I would encourage you to do is write down or document your journey over the past four years, and I would encourage you to focus on any key projects you've done through leadership transitions. I would encourage you to put down and make note of any initiatives you've done through leadership transitions. I would encourage you to put down and make note of any initiatives you've maintained despite all the turmoil and organizational changes. I would ask you to think about any new responsibilities you've naturally absorbed, as other people have. Left was not a part of your original job description, for example. And then I'd also encourage you to think about quantifiable wins and achievements under your leadership.

Speaker 1:

All of these things are important because they are based on facts, and one of the many mistakes that I see introverted women make when they are going to either make and ask for more compensation or different compensation, or when they are negotiating terms and conditions of their employment, is that a lot of it is based on feeling. So, for example, I will hear over and over again someone say I deserve a raise, or I have given everything that I have to give to this organization, or I feel like I am undervalued, and it's not as if those things are not true, but when there is no evidence to back it up or data to back it up, it comes off as being more emotionally driven versus fact-based and fact-driven. So when you take the time, before you engage and talk to your CEO, to kind of jot down the facts and the facts don't always have to be hard metrics and data, they can be, but it also can be this happened right Like you can point to a project that was completed, for example, you can point to taking on additional responsibilities, so those are all facts as well. When you have all of that written down, that can serve as you can pull that into your conversation that you're having with the CEO. So that's why it's important to take the time to prepare and write all of these things down, so that you have it and that you can incorporate it into how you ask for your raise.

Speaker 1:

But the other reason why it's important is because I don't know about you, but when I am having such an important conversation and I personally feel like the stakes are high I often forget about a lot of things and then I walk away and two hours later I'm kicking myself because I'm like I should have said this.

Speaker 1:

I could have said that, but when you prepare for it and prepare for it by, like, jotting things down and even rehearsing some of the things that you're going to say then you are less likely to leave out important facts that might sway the discussion. So the first thing to do, like I said, is prepare for the meeting and document your journey over the past four years. The second thing I would encourage you to do is, when you're framing the discussion, instead of positioning it as asking for a raise, it's important to switch how you think about it as well as how you talk about it, and what I would encourage you to do is to frame it as a strategic discussion about aligning your compensation with the value you bring to the organization, because, let's face it, your CEO likely appreciates business-focused conversations, so it would be important to approach this conversation similarly, just because you already have a very good working relationship with your CEO you've obviously worked with him or her for the past four years, maybe longer with him or her for the past four years, maybe longer.

Speaker 1:

And the fact that you are still standing in that leadership team when everybody else has left also points to the fact that there's probably deep mutual respect between you and the CEO and you guys probably have a really good relationship, just because everybody else has kind of gone by the weight side. So you guys have worked together the longest.

Speaker 1:

You've probably encountered a lot of business challenges together that everybody else has not been involved in you have probably bonded in a way that credits, frankly, the sustainability both of you guys saying and contributing to the success of the organization. But just because you have a good working relationship and maybe even a good personal relationship does not discount the fact or eradicate the fact the importance of you approaching this discussion as a business discussion and not a personal discussion or not a emotional discussion. So number two in terms of what you need to do is make sure that you frame your discussion again not as asking for a raise, but as a strategic discussion about aligning your conversation with the value that you have. Then I would encourage you to think about the meeting structure, how you want the meeting to go. My recommendation is that you book a dedicated time to have this conversation. Don't try to squeeze it in at the end of another meeting. Don't try to make it part of your one-on-one check-in. It's important enough for you to carve out dedicated space and time just to talk about this topic. So I suggest that you say something either in an email you can write an email, or in person, or over the phone, whatever but that you say something like I'd like to schedule time to discuss my role in compensation as we look toward the coming year. Would you have 45 minutes next week? You can choose the amount of time. This is not a 15-minute discussion for sure, and 30 minutes sometimes is not enough. If you think 45 minutes is too much, go ahead. And you think you might not be able to get that amount of time from him or her next week, then definitely shorten it to 30. But I wouldn't go lower than 30. 30 to 45 minutes is what I would suggest. And then, obviously, it wouldn't be important for you to think through again what you want to say during that meeting. And I would just go right back to what we talked about in step one in terms of the pre-meeting preparation, the documentation that you have about your journey over the four, four years.

Speaker 1:

Now, during the conversation, this is where most of us get very nervous and we feel very uncomfortable, but during the conversation, it will be important for you to lead the conversation. Let me just pause here and talk about another mistake that many of us make. So what I have seen and what I have experienced and what I have coached my introverted female clients through, is don't Make the mistake of saying to your boss hey, I want to talk about compensation and the value that I bring to the organization and then passing the baton to them to allow them to carry that conversation forward, meaning allowing them to set the pace of the conversation, allowing them to open up the conversation with their thoughts. Allowing them to open up the conversation with their thoughts. You want to spend the first few minutes of the conversation building your business, stating what you want, stating what you hope the outcomes of that conversation will be, as well as stating the business case for why you think a salary increase is warranted. Do not hand over your power and your authority on this topic to your boss just because you are nervous and uncomfortable. I would much rather you topple your way through, stumble your way through the conversation, but you lead it, versus you allow your nervousness to quiet you and hand over the authority of the meeting to your boss. But during the conversation, you can start it out by saying something like because it's going to be important for you to you know, make an overarching statement and to indicate what you want out of the conversation and from your boss.

Speaker 1:

So you can say something like I appreciate the company's recognition of my contributions through my bonuses over the past four years, but as we look to the long-term stability and growth. I'd like to discuss adjusting my base compensation to reflect my role as the most tenured member of the leadership team. Some of the key points that you would want to emphasize, based on what you shared and again, your story is likely much longer. Your contributions are much deeper, much broader than you were able to share in your voice message, your question that you left. But some of the key points you could emphasize are your institutional knowledge, because it's likely become a crucial asset to your CEO and to the organization. Maybe you can talk about some of the cost savings that you've been able to generate and that the company has realized from not having to recruit and train a replacement for your position. You might be able to talk about and point to different ways that you have provided stability during multiple leadership transitions.

Speaker 1:

You can also talk about market rates for your expanded scope of responsibility and even if your role because you said that you haven't taken on additional responsibilities in the four years. That's fine, but you know what's likely happened in those four years that you are not necessarily thinking about. I am confident that the complexity of your role has likely increased, meaning the types of business problems that you have had to adjust, or even being the sole person standing on a leadership team, there's likely reasons why other people have responsibilities or your scope of responsibilities have not changed per se. I am pretty confident that the job that you started the company doing four years ago is not the same job that you're doing now, because the environment has changed, the company has likely changed, the industry has likely changed, the market has likely changed. The market has definitely changed. So all of those things need to be taken into account and are part of the business rationale for you to receive a solid salary increase so you can look at the market rate for your role and for your role of responsibilities.

Speaker 1:

Now many people will ask me well, I don't have access to salary data, so should I ask my HR person for that? No, like I said, you don't have to have the exact salary information about your role to have a very pointed and fruitful conversation with your boss and, in this case, with the CEO. What I would advise you to do is you can have a ballpark so you can go to sites like salarycom and type in your title and it'll pop up. The good thing about sites like salarycom is that they will even narrow it down to like where you're located, how many years of experience, like. You can put all that in and it will generate like a range of salary that might be appropriate for your particular position.

Speaker 1:

Another thing you can do is if you have colleagues, if you know other vice presidents of development, for example, which I'm sure you do in other organizations you can ask them kind of to give you a ballpark of what their salary is so that you can use that as leverage. You could also go on LinkedIn and LinkedIn, because many companies now are adhering to the more recent laws of transparency with salary. Many of those job descriptions also post a salary range. So you can look on LinkedIn, search for VP of Development roles, and you can even look at probably some of your competitors and see if you can get a sense of what other companies are offering for the roles. That's all you need. You don't need to have the exact compensation measures for your specific role within your specific company. Oh, and the other thing I would say is if your company does have compensation salary bands that are publicized, meaning that everyone inside of the organization has access to those, that's another thing that you could bring to the table. Everyone inside of the organization has access to those. That's another thing that you could bring to the table. Frankly, you don't need this information, but I do believe that the more information you have, probably the more comfortable you would feel about having the conversation. So those are just a few places for you to look and to get a sense of what the market is offering for your role outside of your company.

Speaker 1:

And then, as part of the conversation, I would encourage you to also state and make sure he knows, he or she knows your CEO knows that you are remaining committed to the company. Like you are not bringing this to him or her because you want to leave. In fact, you are bringing it for the opposite reason. Like you want to stay and you plan to stay and you plan to give just as much or even more than you've already given in terms of serving the organization as the VP of development. But you want to make sure that you state that openly so that there are no assumptions being made after the conversation that you are intending to leave. Because, frankly, if I were in the CEO's position and all of my team members except one has turned over in the past four years, I would be panicking, Like there's something bigger. There's a bigger issue there that probably needs to address, and you have been his or her rock. So if you start this conversation, I'm sure the first thing that they are thinking of is oh man, is she about to leave me too? And so it would be important for you to reassure that you're not. You're having this conversation because you want to and you intend to stay All right. So those are the things that I would offer.

Speaker 1:

So let's recap those steps. The first is it would be important for you to prepare for the meeting by kind of writing down all of the things that you've contributed, all the ways that you have added value to the organization in the past four years and, frankly, all the ways you intend to continue to add value in the future. The second step is to make sure that you frame your discussion in terms of not asking for a raise. So I want you to change it in your own mind as well as when you verbalize it, finally, with your CEO. You're not asking for a raise. You're asking to have a strategic discussion about aligning your compensation with the value that you've added and will continue to add to the company.

Speaker 1:

The third step is making sure that you ask for dedicated time to talk about only this issue. We all know that things come up every day, multiple times a day, that distract or detract from us being able to advocate for ourselves. So making sure you have dedicated time to talk about this issue is important. Don't try to tack it on to your weekly one-on-one. Don't try to tack it on to another business meeting. Don't try to have the conversation walking down the hall or in the elevator. Walking down the hall or in the elevator.

Speaker 1:

You want to treat this conversation or the time of this conversation as important as it is. How much you want the outcome is how important it is to kind of set it up so that the discussion gets you what you want. And then, during the conversation, you want to make sure that you open the conversation with a statement of gratitude, like recognizing what the company has been able to give you over the past four years that you've appreciated, but then also go right into all of the things we talked about Also. Go right into all of the things we talked about, like the business case of why you believe that you are not currently being compensated in alignment with the value that you're bringing to the company. Those are all the ask Because, as professional women, we build business cases every day. We are out here doing strategic work for our companies all the time.

Speaker 1:

It's not that part that scares us but it's because, like I mentioned before part that scares us but it's because, like I mentioned before, we become very emotional and we put a lot of high stakes on the outcome.

Speaker 1:

We misinterpret a company saying no or potentially saying no to an ask like increasing our salary as if it's a personal attack on us and that often prevents us from having very direct and having very productive conversations. But I think the way I've laid this out here should help you have the conversation that needs to be had in a very professional way. That kind of sets you up frankly to hear and to kind of see how the relationship between you, the company and your CEO can move forward and how you can continue to feel valued and how you can continue to deliver results and how you can get the salary increase that you want. So I hope this has been helpful. Like I said, this question about how to ask for a salary increase or a raise is always one that I think is top of mind for many introverted professional women, but particularly it becomes particularly top of mind during kind of performance review seasons and at the end of the calendar year.

Speaker 1:

So it was very, very timely and once again, I thank you, vp of Development, for submitting your question. I think I'm going to end here. So if you are listening other listeners, if you have a question that you want to submit, like I said, definitely get on my newsletter community. Join my newsletter community because for the foreseeable future, this will be only available to everyone on my newsletter. I send out my newsletter on a weekly basis every Sunday morning and it has been well received for over two years.

Speaker 1:

The newsletter actually happens to include tips and actions for the week, include tips and actions for the week.

Speaker 1:

So, like the podcast, where I'm just kind of talking at you and kind of sharing information, the newsletter breaks down actions that you can be taking every week to and I call them mini challenges. So I present mini challenges in the newsletter that would help you to, you know, start taking action and increase your accountability for leading more effectively and moving your career up and forward as an introverted leader. So if you are a woman of action, then I definitely encourage you to use the link in the show notes to sign up for my weekly newsletter if you're not already on there, and if you are a woman introverted leader who is looking to and already knows that she is ready, you are ready to take your leadership career to the next level, that you are ready to increase your authority and power within your organization, that you are ready to change your career by leading more strategically and more effectively, then you will want to think about joining my one-on-one coaching program. I have a few slots available for the rest of the year.

Speaker 1:

And the first step would be you kind of booking a sales call with me and on that sales call, you and I will talk very candidly about your career experiences so far, what your goals are, where you want to take your leadership career, why you want to take your leadership career there and maybe even some of the roadblocks that you've encountered up until this point, and I will ask you a few questions to kind of get to know you and your background and then, based on what you've shared, I will be able to outline a strategy and a plan to get you to that senior leader and executive level that you want to be.

Speaker 1:

And then we'll talk about whether or not it makes sense for us to work together as we execute that plan and that strategy. If it's not maybe it won't be a good fit for whatever reason then we'll talk about that too, and I will likely point you to other resources that you could leverage to continue to move forward, even if you and I are not able to work together, because at the end of the day, I want only happiness and success for you. Lady leader, that is likely going to be with me, but even if it's not, then I want to make sure that I set you up for success some other way.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so thank you once again for joining our Leading Her Way podcast for lending me your air for a few minutes, and I hope that the answer to our VP of Development's question also helped you to think about how you can approach asking for a salary raise or salary increase or a raise or even some other change in your compensation package. In some cases I have women who ask for more PTO, for example. So what we talked about today, we're using the specific ask for a salary increase, but the same steps and same approaches can be used if you are asking for any other change in your compensation package. So save this one. I'm sure it will come in handy at the right time when you need it. Until next time, lady leader, keep leading your introverted way.

Speaker 2:

That's a wrap for this episode of Leading Her Way. Thanks for tuning in. If you have thoughts, questions or ideas for future topics, connect and send me a message on LinkedIn and if you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe. And please take a minute to write a quick review on Apple Podcasts. Your review will help spread the word to other ambitious females so they know they're not alone and that this podcast is a community of support for all of us. Leading her way to the top, remember your leadership is needed, your leadership is powerful, so lead boldly Until next time.