Leading Her Introvert Way: Conversations about executive leadership, career growth, business and mindset for mid-life Black women.

64: The Question Introvert Women Leaders Are Asking: Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

• Nicole Bryan • Episode 64

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Trying to decide whether to stay in your current role or to seek new opportunities? Join this engaging discussion on balancing personal career aspirations with the responsibilities of leadership. We dive into the complexities of making pivotal career decisions, especially as you advance at work. Whether you're pondering a career move or seeking inspiration to enhance your leadership path, this episode provides valuable guidance and reassurance for introverted female leaders.


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Speaker 1:

Hi, lady Leader, and welcome to Leading Her Way. This is the podcast for introverted female leaders who are looking to be the best leaders that they can possibly be. If you are interested in moving up intoverted, proudly so, and trying to figure out how to use her introvert superpowers to lead your team, your department, your company, or you are a introverted woman who is looking to stand out as a leader, a top leader, at home and at work, then this is the podcast for you. My name is Dr Nicole Bryan and I am your host. I am an executive coach, I am a chief human resources officer and I, too, am a introverted female leader. If this is the first time you're here, a very, very warm welcome, so glad that you are lending your ears and your time to the Leading Her Way podcast. And if you are a returning listener, girl, you know I got love for you.

Speaker 1:

So I'm doing something a little different today. I'm actually recording this from my couch. Actually, it's not a couch, it's a wingback chair in my family room. I usually record from my home office and I thought that I would do something a little different. I thought that I would do something a little different. I'm having a reflective time I'm going through some deep reflection. I'm not sure if it's the time of the year At the top of the year we're all thinking about what we want to be different for the new year. I'm not sure if it's the weather it's really cold outside where I am and it's making me stay inside more, and so that's more alone time which causes me to think more deeply. Or it could be the fact that I just got back from a wonderful, wonderful trip to Cancun and I had some quality time with someone that I really care about and that, too, kind of gave me moments to pause and express gratitude. Or it could be all of those things. But as I continue to think and plan out my year ahead, I've been wanting to shake things up a little bit. You know, shake things up in small ways and in big ways to see what that can bring me, if it'll bring me joy or if it will cause me to step outside of my comfort zone.

Speaker 1:

And you might be going through something similar. You might be thinking about what you can do different, how you might be able to be different, and what kind of meaning or substance that could add to your life and to your career. As you're thinking about that, one of the things you might be considering is should you stay or should you go from your current company? Many of us get to a point in our career or several points. Frankly, if you're anything like me, I've kind of hit that milestone in my career several times where I questioned whether I was in the right place, whether the company that I was working for was the right one for me, whether they would be able to nurture my career or give me what I want in my career at that time. And it's not an easy question to answer, particularly the more invested you are in your career or the more senior you become as a leader.

Speaker 1:

When we are younger in our career, career hopping or job hopping is a thing we are thinking about every year, every two years, moving into a new role or moving into a new company. Some of us do it for a variety of reasons. Some of us do it for money, meaning to be able to increase our salary significantly. Some of us do it because we get bored easily bored by doing the same thing. Some of us don't feel challenged in our current roles or, if we stay there too long, we don't feel as challenged, so we like to move frequently.

Speaker 1:

But when you become more senior in your life and in your career, particularly as a leader, there's a certain level of responsibility that you feel, maybe not always necessarily to the company, but certainly to your team, where your team depends on you. You have direct reports, you have colleagues who you feel a certain level of responsibility for, above and beyond your job duties, and you also know that, in addition to the salary that you're earning and the projects that you're delivering on, you also realize that as a leader, as a team leader, department leader, you are in fact shaping the lives of the people who work for you. You are impacting them on a daily basis, unlike anybody else in their life and their career, and so that responsibility most of us, we take that really seriously. So job hopping as a senior leader becomes less and less appealing. But even with all of that said, you may be questioning right now whether or not you should stay with your company or whether or not you should go.

Speaker 1:

If that is you, then I want to just highlight a couple of things that are common mistakes that I see introverted women leaders make over and over again when it comes to answering that question. The first is that it's really easy to believe that the grass is greener someplace else. So we start to fantasize about what other companies might be able to do for us. Maybe there are certain things that the company that you're in right now has not been able to deliver on. And you start to think about I know, you know so-and-so at X company, they're getting this, and so if I go there, I can get that too. We start to build up what we don't have or what we're not getting. That starts to weigh more on us and we fall into the grass is greener trap.

Speaker 1:

The other mistake that many of us make is that we will make the decision to stay or to leave in the height of our emotions. Height of our emotions meaning that we will get really angry or be really upset about something related to work. Maybe the company made a decision that we were completely against, or we saw something that happened within the company that we did not like, or anything like that right when we are so frustrated or so disappointed or so angry, and in that moment we're like we throw up our hands. It's, you know, I'm done, I'm out, I'm quitting, I'm not going to take this anymore, and all of those emotions are extremely valid, so I'm not saying that and I'm not going to take this anymore. And all of those emotions are extremely valid, so I'm not saying that and I do not want you to discount what you are feeling.

Speaker 1:

But what I am suggesting, and what I always see, is that women will tend to make decisions big, important decisions about their careers when their emotions are running so high. I have done this myself before, my clients have done it before, and it never leads to the best decisions. That's another common mistake that many introverted women in particular make, and it can be very detrimental to your long-term career growth. So, with that said, if those are common mistakes that happen over and over again, what is the way to make the best decision about whether you should stay or whether you should go? And so what I would say here is that it really isn't about the company. It's not about something that your company does or doesn't do. It is not necessarily about whether there is a clear leadership spot for you, your next leadership role, if you can see it there or not. The answer to should you stay or should you go lies solely with you. It's not about the environment, it's not about the money that you can make. It's not about any of those things. Truly, it really is about you and what you want.

Speaker 1:

I do a lot of work with women to help them figure out what they really want. What do you really want for yourself? If you keep navigating the world and your career without answering that question, it will literally feel like you're walking in the dark or you're walking around blindfolded, because what will happen is you will keep trying different things, you'll keep seeking different solutions and none of it will actually work for you. You will not feel better, you will not do better, you will not be better. When I say the solution actually lies within you, it really is about you answering the question of what do you want for yourself and what does success look like for you? Not what society says success looks like for you, not what your spouse, your husband, your partner, your friends, your family say you should be or should have in order to be successful, but what really makes you happy, what makes you thrive, what gives you that feeling of empowerment.

Speaker 1:

For some of my clients, it is about building financial wealth. It's about making sure that they earn as much money as they possibly can, and not just for money's sake, but they want to use that money to do something for themselves. Maybe it's to buy their first home. Maybe it's to support the rest of their family. Maybe it's to buy their first home. Maybe it's to support the rest of their family. Maybe it's to set themselves up for retirement. So it could be. Maybe success looks like for you being the highest earner that you could possibly be For other of my client. For them, it is about making an impact. They want to be able to create change in their workplace, in their country, in the world, right, and so maybe that is what's most important to you.

Speaker 1:

Regardless, there's no right or wrong answer. It's just about identifying it, because when you identify what is most important to you, that becomes the basis of the decision in terms of should you stay or should you go. Because if, for example, earning a lot of money is really important to you and the current company that you are in is not a good payer, they don't compensate their team members well and you can't see yourself becoming a high earner there, then that's the answer. Then, if you stay, then you know you're not going to be able to reach your definition of success, your definition of success. Or if you are someone who wants to make a big impact but your company is very small. For example, maybe you're in a company of 10, 15 people and the work that they do only is based on a small region or small community. If you're looking to make a bigger impact outside of that community, then that may not be the organization for you. Then maybe you should go.

Speaker 1:

So you see what I mean in terms of the decision or the basis to answer the question in the best way for you in terms of should you stay or should you go from your current organization is not about the organization, it's not about a point in time. It really is about you, in terms of what is most important to you and what your definition of success is. We all hit this point in our careers at some time. I am willing to guess that if you haven't already asked yourself this, then I want you to come back to this episode and I want you to really hone in on your definition of success, because that will be your guiding light.

Speaker 1:

Okay, lady leader, this episode was always intended to be short and sweet, but it is a common question that I get from women who are looking to make big decisions about their careers, and it is a common myth that the answer to that question is outside of you.

Speaker 1:

So if you are finding yourself thinking about this and if you are finding yourself asking yourself that type of question, then I strongly encourage you to sit, to be still and to really really think about what it is that you want. What does success look like for you? And if you need help answering that question, then I am here and always ready to support. You can click the link in the show notes to set up a sales call with me, where we will talk about this in more detail and I'll ask you some very pointed questions to lead you through the process of thinking and deciding what are your priorities for your career and helping you use those answers to make the best decision for yourself about not only should you stay or should you go from your current company, but also what needs to come next for your career. And until next time, keep leading your introvert way.

Speaker 2:

That's a wrap for this episode of Leading Her Way. Thanks for tuning in. If you have thoughts, questions or ideas for future topics, connect and send me a message on LinkedIn and if you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe. And please take a minute to write a quick review on Apple Podcasts. Your review will help spread the word to other ambitious females so they know they're not alone and that this podcast is a community of support for all of us. Leading her way to the top, remember your leadership is needed, your leadership is powerful, so lead boldly Until next time.