Leading Her Introvert Way: Conversations about executive leadership, career growth, business and mindset for mid-life Black women.

66: How Introvert Women Use Feedback To Fuel Their Next Leadership Promotion

• Nicole Bryan • Episode 66

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Discover the secret strategies introverted women leaders use to turn feedback into their career growth. In this episode, we unlock the transformative potential of performance reviews and everyday interactions, showing how they can be crafted into your personalized promotion blueprint.

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Speaker 1:

Hi, lady Leader, and welcome to the Leading Her Way podcast. If you are an introverted woman who desires to be the best possible leader she can be both at home and at work and who also has aspirations to take her career to the top in terms of being a senior leader or an executive leader, then you are in the right place. Whether this is your first time listening or your 65th time listening welcome, I am so excited that you are here. I'm curious about something and I would love if you answered honestly my question for you is what do you do with your feedback, the performance feedback that you get at work? So if you're listening to this episode in real time, it's in that January, february timeframe. So we just likely you just likely went through a performance review situation in the December, november, december timeframe of the calendar year. What did you do with the feedback that you received? Can you remember it? What were some of the key points that was described to you? Constructive and, you know, complimentary. More than likely you can remember it right Because it was just a couple of months ago. Whether you wrote it down or whether you, you know, have a copy of your official performance review, you can likely remember off the top of your head what you and your boss talked about during your last performance review. What about a year ago, though? What were the key components of that performance discussion? What was the things that you walked away with in terms of what you needed to work on or what you were really good at? And what about throughout the year? Right? So, outside of your official performance review discussions, in your one-on-ones with your boss, in your conversations with your peers, in the meetings you have with your direct reports, all of which are situations where you are likely getting direct or indirect feedback when are you storing that information?

Speaker 1:

Now, I'm asking you this in a little bit of a tongue-in-cheek way, because most of us will remember the most recent piece of feedback that we received, whether it's in a, you know, a formal sit down conversation or in passing, but what most of us don't do is actually hear and treat the feedback that we receive over time in a strategic way, and that's what I want to talk about today, right, and I think the conversation is very timely and particularly if you are someone who is looking to get promoted into the next level of leadership role within your company, or whether you opt to move and transfer to another company. This situation, this conversation, is extremely relevant because it focuses on learning an approach that will not only serve you well today, but also serve you throughout your entire career, and that's because the feedback that you receive could be your ticket to the executive suite. And yeah, I know exactly what you're thinking. Right, but Nicole, isn't getting to the C-suite all about being loud and commanding rooms and showing your executive presence. Well, stick with me because I'm about to show you how I, your fellow introvert, got promoted four times in five years in one organization by truly staying true to my quiet nature. By truly staying true to my quiet nature. So let me share something I've never told anyone except the person in the mirror.

Speaker 1:

Right, when I got my first major promotion to the executive level, I was literally avoiding my boss for about two weeks straight. Right, I didn't want to see her because I was so nervous and because I was spending all of my spare time side of managing the teams that I was responsible for and the program that I was responsible for. Every other waking moment that I had, I was preparing my pitch, I was practicing in the mirror. I was trying to, in my head, be choosing my words extremely carefully. Choosing my words extremely carefully, but we've all been there right. But what really made the difference wasn't me pretending to be extroverted, but it was learning to leverage my introvert strengths extremely strategically, which is exactly what I want you to think about doing. How is the best way to do that for you and your current situation? So grab your favorite notebook and I know you have at least five beautiful ones you've been saving for this right moment and then let's dive into turning your most recent performance review into your promotion game plan.

Speaker 1:

First up, let's talk about leveraging the feedback into action. And no, I don't mean just highlighting everything in your favorite color coded system, though I know how satisfying that is. You need to create two lists your introvert superpowers, aka your strengths, and on the second list, your growth edges, aka your development areas. Here's what I mean. When I got my review, instead of fixating on feedback about not being vocal enough in meetings, I highlighted how my thoughtful analysis led to better decision-making. See what I did there Reframing, not changing, who we are and, between us, the quiet strengths that got you this far your deep thinking, your ability to build genuine one-on-one relationships, your thoughtful communication styles. These aren't weaknesses to fix. These are actually the same exact strengths and skills for executive leadership. Now let's talk about making those promotion goals known.

Speaker 1:

I know, I know this is where my introverted sisters start squirming in their seats, but here's the truth. Your amazing work isn't going to speak for itself, trust me. I learned this the hard way while watching more vocal colleagues get promoted ahead of me. This is what I want you to do. I want you to schedule that career discussion with your manager. Yeah, that's right. Pause this podcast and put it in your calendar.

Speaker 1:

Here are some phrases that may. If you're like most of my clients, you're likely literally recoiling in your seat right now. And I get it right, because it can feel scary. And most of my clients will say to me well, I don't know what to say. How do I even broker that conversation? Okay, fair enough. So here are some potential phrases that will likely feel more authentic for you to start the conversation, the conversation. For example, you could say I see myself contributing at the executive level because of my ability to think strategically and build strong relationships. Or you might offer I'm interested in expanding my impact, particularly through the unique perspective I bring as a thoughtful leader. And no, you don't have to deliver these lines like you're in a Shakespeare play. Your quiet confidence should be exactly enough.

Speaker 1:

Now let's move on to creating your leadership development plan. This is where we, as introverts, shine, because it involves our favorite things deep reflection and strategic planning. Get yourself some formal leadership assessments. I'm talking about 360 degree feedback, leadership style inventories, emotional intelligence assessments and things of that nature All the data we love to analyze. Then, once you take those assessments, you can connect their insights to the executive requirements of the specific role that you're interested in or the specific company that you want to be a part of. Sidebar, if you are interested in doing an executive assessment or a battery of executive assessments, definitely reach out to me. It's one of my passions, right?

Speaker 1:

I love data and, quite frankly, so many of us as leaders we are inside our own heads, particularly as introverts, and we are so accustomed to our own are inside our own heads, particularly as introverts, and we are so accustomed to our own behaviors and our own views that we forget that. Just as important in terms of how we see ourselves is how other people see us as well, and you can't really get that just by your looking at things through your lens. So many of the assessments that I offer and that I use as part of my coaching practice is collecting information and collecting insights from those people that we work with so your peers, your colleagues, your boss because how they see you is important to know and understand and, frankly, it doesn't always come out authentically and directly in terms of performance feedback that you might get on the job. Many times you need a third party, like a coach or an assessment administrator, to kind of pull that information out of the people that you work with so that it can be offered and used in a positive way for your own personal and professional development. So if you're interested in doing and taking any professional assessments or executive assessments, definitely reach out to me and let's talk about how we can make that happen for you and how we can get the feedback that you need to be able to move your career forward. Okay, but I digress, so let's get back on track.

Speaker 1:

What I want you to take away from today's episode is that your performance reviews, your formal, informal, by the coffee machine conversations that you have, where you receive feedback not just from your boss or your boss's boss, but your colleagues, your friends at work, your direct reports, your clients, that you work with, anyone that basically gets to see you doing your role and has a stake in how you do your role. All of that information is at the ready for you, and if you happen to work for an organization where there isn't a formal review process, that is no excuse. You can still solicit feedback on a regular basis from the people around you, and, as a introverted woman who wants to grow her leadership career, that should be a natural part of how you show up at work. You want to hear and understand how you are being perceived. You want to know whether what you are doing is having the intended impact. You want to understand how people relate to you.

Speaker 1:

Right Like that is all important in order for you to continuously increase your contributions and continuously increase your strength as a leader, and so what many of us make the mistake of doing is we only listen to feedback if it is offered, meaning we don't solicit feedback or ask for feedback offered, meaning we don't solicit feedback or ask for feedback. The other mistake that we often make is that when we get the feedback, we only take it for that time and moment, meaning if we got the feedback, for example, in December at our year in review, it may stay top of mind for us for like a month or two, at the most for three months, and then it all goes by the wayside. And as a female leader who needs to be more and more strategic as you move up in your career, I would want you to actually leverage all of the feedback, like to proactively collect it and leverage it continuously to manage your own career, to help you set goals for yourself, to help you understand where you want to take your career and to help you understand how to be better in your current role. And the only way to do that is if you treat the feedback as if you treat any other project that you might be working on Like. You look at the feedback as something that will serve you and not necessarily something that you have to react to or get upset about. Right, you take the feedback in, you look for the data that either supports the feedback or counters the feedback, and then what is real and what is actionable you take action on. It's also important to look for the trends, so to not only be cognizant of the most recent feedback that you have had, but to keep a record of feedback that you receive over time so that you can go back and you can actually analyze the feedback and look for repeated patterns or look for contradictory feedback, so that you can make conscious decisions in terms of what you want to work on versus what you don't want to work on, what will help you get to your next level versus what won't help you get to your next level. Okay, so let's break this down into actionable steps, because I know you love a good checklist, right, just like I do.

Speaker 1:

So in the next 30 days, here are three things that you can do. You can schedule that career discussion with your manager. That's right, the one that you've been putting off. You can get that on the calendar. Another thing you can do in the next 30 days is request a leadership assessment. You can do that at your company if they already offer that, or you can find yourself a good coach and you can ask your coach to actually administer and recommend a leadership assessment or a battery of leadership assessments that will help you booster your career. The third thing that you can do in the next 30 days is actually put together your own development plan, and the reason why that's important is because many of us make the mistake of waiting on our company or on our boss to tell us what and how we need to develop when, frankly, that type of reactive stance will either keep you where you are or stop have you regressing in your career, while others kind of move forward and progress. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know that I am a huge fan and huge proponent of you as an individual leader, taking ownership of your career and not leaving your growth and your development up to anybody else, whether it's your boss or the company, your partner or whomever. You are the best advocate and best champion for your own career. So you put together your development plan in the next 30 days, in the next 60 days. There are a few other things that you can do, like identifying stretch assignments that make your analytical heart happy. Right. You could also build relationships with two to three senior leaders, who I refer to as sponsors refer to as sponsors. Or you could join or lead a strategic initiative in your company that showcases your thoughtful leadership style and in 90 days, you could review your progress with your manager. You could adjust your leadership development plan based on feedback that you received and you could schedule quarterly check-ins to keep your promotion path on track.

Speaker 1:

Before we wrap up, let me just share that I recently had a sales call with a potential client. Actually, she's not really a potential client because she just signed on and we started to work together already. Client because she just signed on and we started to work together already. But when we had our initial conversation she was so perplexed because she has been tapped as a high potential individual within her company right, and she works for a fortune 500 consumer products company, very well-known company, and she is already making about $200,000 a year. But she's an individual contributor. She has aspirations to lead a large global team and she is in her company, that individual who everybody comes to to solve big problems. Yet she has not been given the opportunity. Despite asking for the opportunity, she has not gotten the role that she wants.

Speaker 1:

The reason why I'm calling her out, or calling her situation out, is because she has gotten feedback over many years. She's worked for the organization for eight years. She's gotten a ton of feedback and in our initial conversation, when I asked her what that feedback has been, she was only able to talk about her perspective and her experience, which is very, very important. But despite me asking in a variety of different ways about how other people viewed her and what she saw as a pattern of experiences across time at that company, she found it difficult to do that. And I get why. Because when you are in it right and I have been there myself but when you are deep in the trenches, it's very, very difficult to be able to pause and see things from other people's perspective, including the company. And when we don't proactively keep track of the feedback that we get over time, whether it's in one company or across multiple companies, then it becomes that much more difficult to see the patterns, to see the pattern of behavior, to see the pattern of the feedback. And when you can't see the pattern of the behavior and pattern of the feedback, then it's very difficult to address it.

Speaker 1:

This is a young lady who a company has already invested in. She's been part of formal development programs. She has been supported and sponsored to go and travel around the world to different conferences. She has represented the company. So it's not as if the company has just forgotten about her, have not given her some of the things that she wants. It's just that the most important thing that she wants, which is to become a senior leader managing a global team. She's not been supported for that, but there's a reason. She hasn't been supported for that yet. She can't see it, or she's been unable to see it until now because she hasn't been looking at the trend and the feedback.

Speaker 1:

So if that sounds like you, if this is something that you feel you are struggling with as well, I want you to know that you don't have to struggle alone. This is something that I can help you with. This is something that my elite executive experience program can help you address. If you want to get promoted into that senior director, vp, executive, vice president level of your organization or the next organization that you go to, then remember it is not about becoming someone else and it is not about giving over your career growth to your boss or to your company. What it is about is actually using the feedback that you have received recently and over time to strategically position yourself for the exact position that you want in your career. Now go grab that beautiful notebook I know you've been saving and start planning your path to the executive level, and if you need more support on your executive journey, then you know where to find me, just click the link in the show notes and book a call.

Speaker 1:

Until next time. Keep leading your introvert way way. That's a wrap for this episode of Leading Her Way. Thanks for tuning in. If you have thoughts, questions or ideas for future topics, connect and send me a message on LinkedIn and if you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe. And please take a minute to write a quick review on Apple Podcasts. Your review will help spread the word to other ambitious females so they know they're not alone and that this podcast is a community of support for all of us leading her way to the top. Remember your leadership is needed. Your leadership is powerful, so lead boldly. Until next time.