Leading Her Introvert Way: Conversations about executive leadership, career growth, business and mindset for mid-life Black women.

68: {Black History Month} How To Harness Your Identity As Black, Female, Introvert, and A Leader To Secure Your Executive Seat

• Nicole Bryan • Episode 68

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Imagine navigating a corporate world where every step towards leadership feels like an uphill battle, compounded by racial bias and the complexities of being an introvert. On this episode of Leading Her Way,  Dr. Nicole Bryan  tackles these very challenges that Black female introverts face on their journey to senior leadership. Through a candid examination of both the internal hesitations and external barriers, we talk about the real roadblocks in your path. Is it the corporate environment that's holding you back, or are there innovative ways to align your career goals with personal priorities?

Identity is not just a label, it's a mindset. Discover how adopting an executive identity can be game-changing in overcoming the persistent issues of racism and gender discrimination in any workplace. 


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Speaker 1:

Hi, lady Leader, and welcome to another episode of the Leading Her Way podcast. My name is Dr Nicole Bryan and I am your host. I want to welcome you to the podcast, particularly if this is your first time listening. You've picked a episode that is going to be one in which I am coming in hot to be one in which I am coming in hot, but if you are a returning listener, then you already know how we do it here.

Speaker 1:

So today's episode is particularly dedicated to Black female introverts who want to get promoted to the executive level or senior leader level of their organizations, and I want to ask a question that may seem very common or very you know, duh Nicole, but it's a question that I ask every woman that I have the honor of speaking with, those who are prospective clients, those who are current clients and those who may not even be interested in working with me per se, but who know that they want to take their careers to advance them as much as possible and be a senior leader. So, with that said, the question that I want to ask is really an important one. Like I said, it may seem like a simple question, but it's actually a very important one, and the question is why aren't you a senior leader already? Like, why aren't you an executive? If you already know that that's what you want, that's already what you've been working towards for years some of us for decades why aren't you yet a senior leader or an executive? Now, usually when I ask this question, I get responses that I've heard you know once or twice or many times before. So sometimes the woman will say well, you know, my company is racist. Or they'll say you know, there's nothing but white men at the executive level and they don't want to give me a seat at the table. Or they'll say you know, I think I need more experience and so I want to work at a couple of other companies before I actually really pursue that senior leader or executive role. I've also heard, you know, as an introverted woman, I need to work on my executive presence and, yes, my company has said that to me, but I also feel like that's something that I need before I take that step into the executive level.

Speaker 1:

Other women have said to me that they are not sure that they want to. You know, a part of them wants to become an executive, but another part of them doesn't really want to deal with things like the public speaking that comes along with the executive role, or the office politics that comes along with being a senior leader or an executive in their company. I've heard things like, and gotten responses like well, you know, I really want to focus on things at home right now. I want to focus on my relationships and my children, and that's really where I want to lean in and I don't really have the time or the energy to be an executive and to really fulfill that role. I've heard and seen many different reasons for women, particularly Black women, who have high aspirations, who are high achievers, who kick ass frankly and take no shorts in every other area of their life. I have heard them when it comes to taking their career to the senior level and the executive level within their organizations. I've heard many, many different reasons.

Speaker 1:

You on is if you really want it, you not only will go after it, but you will get it. Let me say that again If you really want it, you will not only go after it, you will get it. And how do I know this? Because, as Black women, when we put our mind to something, we will stop short of nothing to make it happen for ourselves, and I say this with a source of pride, right, knowing that my sisters are that way, but then also I say it because I've seen it, I've experienced it. That has happened to me, obviously, but with all of the Black women that I have ever had the honor of being friends with, being daughters, of being associated with in any shape, form or fashion family members, friends, colleagues, mentors, mentees there is a tenacity that we have.

Speaker 1:

When we set our sights on something and we really want to get it, we are not afraid of working hard. Hard work is in our DNA from way back to generations we can't even dream about that is what we did. We were farmers, we were nurturers, we raised the family, we were the center of the family, way before modern day civilization ever came to be. So it is in our DNA. We will work hard, and that includes working hard in a company that we work for. Whether it's small, medium, large, global, domestic, doesn't matter. When we give of ourselves, we give all. So I already know that that is part of the experience.

Speaker 1:

I would challenge you to ask yourself what it is that's really holding you back. Is it really the environment? Is it the environment? Because, yes, we work environments that don't always welcome us, that don't always reward us, that don't always honor the achievements and the results that we deliver. We've all worked in those types of environments before, but is it really that that's holding you back? And if so, why would you not just go to another environment? Why would you not find another environment, another team, another department, another company that does give you that, that will reward you, that will give you the opportunity?

Speaker 1:

For some reason, you're staying where you currently are. If you do believe that the environment is not set up for you to succeed and to get to the senior level, so is it the environment? Is it that you really want to spend time with your family and you want to lean in and make sure that your family is your priority? Family is your priority. Well, who says that they can't be your priority, even while you are pursuing a executive level or more senior level role within your company? You could do both Right. I'm not suggesting that they are done both equally well, but you could do both. You have to get up and go to work anyway. Why would you limit yourself in terms of staying in a junior level position when you know that you can be contributing at a higher level and probably providing for your family even more, with a higher salary, with more flexibility, more opportunities and all of that, but for your reasons, you are saying no right now. You are not going after what you really want in terms of your the higher level career. You really want in terms of your the higher level career.

Speaker 1:

So my question that I always again, that I always ask repeatedly, the first response will be one of those that I just talked about why are you not a senior leader or executive yet? And one of them. There will be one or more of those responses that I immediately get. But when then I push back, like I'm doing with you right now, and pointing out the conflicting thoughts, the conflicting behaviors, you say you want to become an executive leader. You say you want to become an executive leader, but what are you doing to make that happen? Or you say you want to become an executive leader, but you're also saying, not now. You say you want to become an executive leader, but the system is holding you back.

Speaker 1:

The question that I really want to ask you is is being an executive leader a part of your identity or is it a nice to have? And if it's the nice to have, that's fine. Like if it's a dream and not a goal, that's fine too. Just know that I'm not speaking to you right now. I'm speaking to the introverted black female leader who has a goal for herself and her career to be an executive and not only to be an executive, but to create change from the executive level who wants to shift the experiences of not only herself, but of her daughters, her sons and generations to come. Who wants to get to be a decision maker not just a decision maker, the decision maker and shift the entire paradigm of what leadership looks like and what good, effective, having an impact leadership can be. That's who I'm talking to. Those are the women that I work with, those are the women that I help. Those are the women who I support becoming the executive and the leader that they ultimately want to be.

Speaker 1:

So do you identify as a senior leader? Yet? Do you identify as an executive leader? Yet? Because the ones that will be successful are those who are constantly trying to evolve themselves and constantly trying to position themselves to have the impact that they want to have. And that's regardless of what company you're in. That is, regardless of what your current job title is. That is regardless of whether you are currently managing or leading a team or a department, right? Or you might even just be leading yourself. Regardless of those, those are all circumstances.

Speaker 1:

What I am questioning is who are you at your core? Are you an executive today, just not holding that title or position? Because if you don't embrace that as part of your identity, then it will never come to fruition for you, Despite you thinking that it's the external environment or your company or the white men that are holding you back. Company or the white men that are holding you back, despite you believing that if you don't embrace being an executive today as part of your identity, you will never reach that. You will never reach that level. You will never get that for yourself, even though it is a goal that you hold, though it is a goal that you hold Now. I will not lie to you.

Speaker 1:

Identity work is not easy. It is not for the faint of heart, but I know you got it in you, because identity work means that you have to look deep inside of yourself and you have to be exceptionally honest. Excuses are not part of identity. Barriers have to be acknowledged, but they are not able to block you, because racism and gender discrimination definitely exist in all of the environments that we work with, whether we see it directly or it impacts us indirectly. It is there. I won't even front like it's not there. It is there. But the question becomes how you can lead yourself and others despite that, because racism and gender discrimination and discrimination against introverts all exist in the world. It doesn't just exist in our companies, it exists in all of our interactions. It exists in all of our interactions. It exists in all of our places that we go, people that we engage with. It's there and you do deal with it, whether you know, whether you're dealing with it or not, whether you recognize it in the moment or not. You deal with it all the time. Why is it so difficult, or so much more difficult, for you to deal with in your workplace? I say it has to do with identity.

Speaker 1:

One of the best books I've ever read on identity was Becoming by Michelle Obama. It was her first book and it was just a great example of her telling her own story, from childhood all the way to becoming the first lady of the United States, and the thoughts and experiences that all shaped her and when she started out as a little girl, she didn't know what she was ultimately going to become. She didn't know she was going to marry a man named Barack. She didn't understand that she was going to be a first lady of the United States, the first black first lady of the United States and of the free world. She had no idea. But what she did have was a sense, a deep, deep sense of who she was, and she got that from her family, her community that she grew up in, her education and her initial jobs and roles that she had. So she had a deep sense of who she was. She also knew the impact that she wanted to make in the world, not just for her children, not just for her friends and her families, but in the world.

Speaker 1:

And that's what I am challenging you to think about. Think about whether or not you identify as an executive. Think about whether or not you really are a leader, because when you internalize that, you internalize that it really doesn't matter the environment in which you go to work, it really doesn't matter the relationship that you have with your boss, it really doesn't matter who's in your immediate orbit, because you are carrying who you want to be and what you want to contribute to the world and to the organization. You're carrying that inside of you. So if you have not yet thought about your identity, or even if you have thought about your identity as an executive, then I would like you to really think about three things.

Speaker 1:

I want you to take about and document. What do you think about, what is going on in your mind, like for a week straight, maybe you know. Take a journal, you know in your journal or in your notes app. I want you to document the thoughts that you have that you associate with being a leader. They may come up for you in a meeting that you participate in or maybe a project that you're leading, or they may come up for you, like for me, it comes up on my commute in and out of the office. That's when I have my thinking time and I reflect on being a leader. And so what are your thoughts? What things do you think about as a leader?

Speaker 1:

Then I want you to also think about and document your inventory of your emotions, and document your take inventory of your emotions. Now, I don't know about you, but my emotions run the gamut throughout the workday and it's not always pretty right, because sometimes people at work, including my direct team, piss me the hell off, and that's okay as long as it's all taken in context. So the emotions that you have, the feelings that you have as a leader, those are important to not only acknowledge but recognize where they stem from. Are they the feelings and the emotions that a leader should have? Do those feelings and emotions detract from yourself as a soon-to-be executive? Do they support you becoming an executive? Do they have nothing to do with you becoming an executive? You need to take inventory of that for yourself.

Speaker 1:

And then the final thing is what are the actions that you're taking, not only to be or become or evolve into or secure your next leadership role, but what actions are you taking every day to step into and to demonstrate your leadership? Are you, in fact, sitting by and watching other people lead when you are the one who should be taking that stance? Are you letting, allowing other people to make the decisions that you, as the expert and the senior person, should be making? Do you allow your team members, your direct reports or more junior members take, respond to questions or, you know, take initiative that you should be taking? These are just some of the questions, right, but the point is being aware of the things that you are doing and, in some cases, not doing that are either positioning you as the leader and executive that you want to be, or that is taking away from you becoming that, from you becoming that, because if you are not already positioning yourself as a senior or executive leader, whether that's in your company, in your industry or wherever, in the professional associations that you belong to or want to belong to, if you're not already doing that, despite what is happening around you in your environment and what your boss might be saying, what you are already jeopardizing your potential to ever achieve that goal. If you're not already doing that, then you don't already identify as an executive leader, and if you don't identify as a senior or an executive leader, then no one else is going to identify you as that either.

Speaker 1:

So let's go back to how we started this conversation today and ask the question why aren't you a senior or executive leader yet? And when I usually ask that question and when I usually ask that question, like I said, I normally will get one of those common stances or common reasons. And why and very rarely does the woman leader, the female leader I'm speaking to say it's because of me. But what I am saying to you today and what I am challenging you on is to look at yourself first, last and in the middle, because it all starts with you and it all ends with you. Your executive leadership career starts with you. So if you don't identify as an executive leader, then it's not going to happen. Okay, lady leader. So, like I said, I was coming in a little hot today. I knew that that was going to be the case. I got a little riled up, but I hope you can understand and see why. I hope you get what we are talking about today.

Speaker 1:

And if you are someone who already has set the goal for yourself to become the next senior leader in your organization but you're not sure how to get there, like you may be feeling overwhelmed by the barriers that you believe are in your way and you're just not sure how to get around those. Or you might be struggling with the identity piece, right, maybe you have people who believe in you but you don't quite believe in yourself, which isn't always easy to admit. Or maybe you have everything on your resume, all of the credentials, all the education, all of the certifications that should be helping you to get that senior level or executive level role that you want, but despite everything that you have tried, you're not able to secure that position for yourself. If any of these things sound like you and what you're experiencing, then I would strongly welcome having a conversation with you. I want you to book a sales call with me so that we can talk through everything that you're going through and experiencing and we can start to target how we will get you your executive seat, how we will get you to the leadership table executive seat, how we will get you to the leadership table. Just click the link in the show notes and pick your time. It'll ask you to fill out a short questionnaire which will help me to learn a little bit more about you before we even jump on the sales call, and then we will go from there. Thank you so much for sticking with me today and I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful work week and until next time, lady leader.

Speaker 1:

That's a wrap for this episode of leadingading Her Way. Thanks for tuning in. If you have thoughts, questions or ideas for future topics, connect and send me a message on LinkedIn and if you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe. And please take a minute to write a quick review on Apple Podcasts. Your review will help spread the word to other ambitious females so they know they're not alone and that this podcast is a community of support for all of us leading her way to the top. Remember your leadership is needed, your leadership is powerful, so lead boldly. Until next time.