Leading Her Introvert Way: Conversations about executive leadership, career growth, business and mindset for mid-life Black women.

The Black Introverted Woman's Way To Navigate Corporate Without Completely Depleting Her Energy

• Nicole Bryan • Episode 75

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In this episode of Leading Her Introvert Way, Dr. Nicole Bryan discusses the unique challenges faced by black introverted women in their journey to executive leadership. She introduces the concept of the 'energy equation' and presents the energy mapping framework. The conversation highlights common energy traps, a real-life success story of a client, who transformed her leadership experience using the energy mapping framework and ends with actionable recommendations for listeners to implement in their own careers.


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Speaker 1:

Hi, lady Leader, Welcome to Leading Her Introvert Way, the podcast for Black introvert women ready to break through to executive leadership. You are in the right place if you want to become the best leader that you can possibly be and you want to learn how to take your career all the way to the top. I'm Dr Nicole Bryan and I am your host. How are you doing, my friend? I realized that I have kicked off the last couple of episodes and I've jumped right into the topics of the day because I have been so excited about all of the conversations we've been having for the last several weeks. And today I was like you know what you might want to just slow your roll, nikki B, from the NYC, and ask how everyone is doing. As you can tell, I'm in a very playful mood right now and that's kind of been my mood for the last couple of weeks.

Speaker 1:

I've been on the road. I spent an entire week in Atlanta. I went on a business trip and then extended it for several days, and I actually usually take a every year. I drive to Atlanta and everybody thinks I am completely crazy because it's a 12 hour drive one way and I absolutely love it. Now some of you, even as introverts, are probably cringing like God 12 hours. Why not get on a plane and get there in like an hour and a half or two hours?

Speaker 1:

There's something about being on the open road by myself, because I always go by myself and I listen to like podcasts, I listen to music. Sometimes I just turn the radio or turn. I have no sound on in the car with me and I'm just letting my thoughts kind of free flow, which is actually what I did on my return trip home. It's the best, but because I have a lot of family and friends in Atlanta, it's like my one trip of the year where I spend five, six, seven days meeting up with people, having dinner, talking, spending quality time. So by the time I am ready to come home, I'm emotionally drained. My cup is full, but I'm emotionally drained at the same time, so that trip really has reignited something in me. I don't know if it's the season's about to change, but I came back super focused and super energized. So that's kind of what you're hearing right now.

Speaker 1:

I hope that you too are finding ways to refill your cup, particularly after the holidays and everything that's happening in the United States and the world. Lots of companies are making the decisions to kind of pull back on expenses, even having to lay off people. I pray that that is not impacting you directly, but I can bet that if it's not impacting you directly, then you know of someone that is being impacted directly by it. So I will be thinking of you and keeping you in my thoughts, but at the same time, I hope that you are able to do something to proactively refill your cup as well. So, with that said, let's go ahead and jump into today's topic.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to be addressing a challenge that specifically affects Black introverted women on their path to executive leadership the energy equation. Now, if you have ever felt exhausted, trying to maintain the constant visibility or the relationship building and the never-ending communication that leadership roles seem to demand, while still having energy for your actual work and your personal life, then today's conversation is going to be transformative. You and I already know that the corporate world was designed by and for extroverts. People who gain energy from social interaction, people who think out loud and people who thrive in high stimulus environments lead to burnout or to work addiction, especially when combined with the additional energy demands of navigating environments where we are often the only one Research from the Harvard Business Review found that Black women expend significantly more mental and emotional energy at work than their colleagues due to navigating microaggressions, code switching and what researchers call emotional tax. When you combine this with introversion, where social interaction and high stimulus environments require rather than generate energy, you and I face a unique energy management challenge. So today I'm going to share the energy mapping framework that I've developed specifically for black introverted women in leadership. This is not about typical work-life balance advice. It's about strategic energy allocation that allows you to advance to executive leadership without sacrificing your wellbeing and without sacrificing what we always talk about here, which is your authenticity.

Speaker 1:

Now, I don't know when you first realized that it being introverted at work made you a little bit different, but I remember when I first realized that being introverted at work made me different. Not only do I remember when I first realized it, but it actually prevented me from seeing that I could be, and should be, a leader, a senior leader and an executive. It was very early on in my career and I was seeing all of these other executives. Now, I didn't believe I had enough experience at the time to be an executive, but I could not even see a possibility of me becoming an executive, and it was because I just had that block. And it's interesting because when I talk to women today, like when I have sales calls, when I meet women at different events and I start a conversation and they learn what I do, they start talking about they could never be an executive.

Speaker 1:

And it's not because they don't think that they are qualified, it's not because they don't have ideas disqualified. It's not because they don't have ideas, it's not because they're not already leading from whatever position they actually hold today. It's because they don't think that the way they approach their work, the way they show up on a day-to-day basis, could be viewed and respected in terms of being a senior leader. And that's exactly how I used to feel, based on all the leadership qualities that I was seeing around me every day. I could not fathom how my approach to leadership would fit in what I was seeing. But that's the whole point. I wasn't supposed to fit. I was supposed to be, not try to fit into what I was seeing, but I didn't know that at the time. So, before we dive into the energy mapping framework, I wanted to tell you that story because if you're sitting here and listening to this podcast and thinking to yourself I don't even think I can be at that senior executive level. I don't think I can function there. I don't think I could fit there. Then I want to call bullshit on your behalf, just like I'm calling bullshit on younger Nicole's behalf, and I want to say to you that you don't have to focus on fitting. What you need to do is figure out how you can leverage who you currently are and what you bring to the table to create your own seat at that table. You're not trying to fit into an existing seat or an existing model of leadership. You, my friend, are going to create your own model of leadership and your own seat and people around that table. They're gonna make room for you. They made room for me. They're gonna make room for you, if you want it. Okay, now that we've got that out the way, let's talk about.

Speaker 1:

Before we dive into the energy mapping framework, we need to understand what makes the energy profile of black introverted women unique. So first, let's acknowledge the introversion component. Contrary to popular misconception, introversion isn't about shyness or social anxiety. It's about how you process information and where you derive your energy. As we both know, introverts process information deeply, they think before speaking and they recharge through quiet reflection rather than social interaction. These traits of ours create natural strengths in leadership thoughtful decision-making, careful listening and deep analysis. But they also create energy challenges when leadership expectations are built around extroverted norms like constant visibility, spontaneous verbal processing and extensive networking.

Speaker 1:

Now let's add the layer of being a Black woman in corporate America. Dr Ella Bell Smith and Dr Stella Incomo, in their landmark research on Black women in corporate environments, identified what they call the double outsider effect, which is being outside of the dominant racial group and outside the dominant gender group simultaneously. This creates what psychologists call identity taxation the invisible work of managing other people's perceptions, stereotypes and biases. One of my clients described it perfectly. She said I feel like I'm running two jobs simultaneously doing my actual work and managing how people perceive me doing that work. This identity taxation costs energy, significant energy. One study found that black women spend the equivalent of one full workday every week on emotional labor related to identity management in the workplace. That is 20% of your work time spent on energy depleting activities that your colleagues and coworkers don't have to engage in. When you combine introversion with this identity taxation, you face a compounded energy challenge. The traditional just push through it approach leads directly to burnout, which is why black women have some of the highest rates of workplace burnout across all demographic groups. This isn't about lacking resilience, because you know, you and I got resilience out the wazoo. It's about facing a systemic energy equation that doesn't account for your unique needs and strengths, and solving this equation requires a revolutionary approach to energy management. The energy mapping framework I've developed for my clients has three core components. The first is energy auditing, the second is strategic energy allocation and the third is recovery integration.

Speaker 1:

Let's start with energy auditing Now. This involves systematically analyzing your professional activities based on three factors. First, energy impact Does a particular activity energize you, deplete you or remain neutral? For example, one client discovered that one-on-one meetings with her team members were actually energizing, while group meetings with cross-functional teams were highly depleting. Second, leadership impact how much does this activity actually contribute to your effectiveness and advancement? This is important because many Black women spend significant energy on activities that deplete them without providing the same amount or even more career benefit. Third is frequency how often are you currently engaging in this activity? Sometimes, the most depleting activities aren't individually problematic, but become unsustainable through sheer volume. How often we are actually doing them. This type of audit often reveals very surprising patterns because we are usually engaging in behaviors that we don't even realize we're engaging in until we do this type of audit. For example, one of my clients she discovered that she was spending 40% of her work week on high frequency, high depleting activities that delivered very little leadership impact primarily administrative meetings and report generation. That could be delegated or streamlined elsewhere Once you've completed your energy audit.

Speaker 1:

The second component is strategic energy allocation. This isn't about avoiding difficult activities. Leadership requires challenging work. That's the job. But it is about being intentional with your limited energy resources. So the allocation follows four principles Maximize high impact low depletion activities. Minimize low impact high depletion activities. Structure high impact high depletion activities for sustainability and then eliminate or delegate low impact activities regardless of the energy impact. For Black introverted women, this often means making counterintuitive choices that differ from conventional leadership advice. So, for example, while most leadership advice suggests building, for example, while most leadership advice suggests building a broad network, strategic energy allocation might mean focusing on fewer, deeper relationships with key stakeholders who can actually impact your advancement.

Speaker 1:

The third component is recovery integration. Most leadership approaches treat energy as infinite. Most leadership approaches treat energy as infinite. You're expected to keep giving and keep giving and give some more without replenishing. For black introverted women, this approach is particularly harmful, given the compounded energy challenges that we uniquely face. Recovery integration involves intentionally building energy recovery periods into your leadership approach. So micro recoveries, those are brief moments of restoration throughout your day. Macro-recoveries, longer periods of deeper replenishment. Strategic scheduling, arranging high depletion activities to allow for recovery. And then environmental optimization, creating a workspace that supports your energy needs.

Speaker 1:

I want to emphasize with you that this framework isn't about doing less. I know that that is a big conversation that is happening right now the soft life. I forgot what the other word, what the other terminology is, but basically, how many of us can figure out how to do less and get more? But that's not what I'm talking about here. This framework is not about doing less. It is about achieving more by being strategic with your energy. So my clients who implement this framework consistently report greater leadership impact with less exhaustion and less burnout.

Speaker 1:

Now let's discuss three common energy traps that particularly affect us as Black introverted women in leadership positions. The first is what I call the hyper-visibility-invisibility paradox. This is when we, as Black women, often experience the strange contradiction of being highly visible as the only one in many of the rooms that we are in, while also having our contributions rendered invisible. This creates a constant energy draining toggle between feeling scrutinized and feeling unseen. A client in financial services described attending executive meetings where she was hyper aware of being the only black woman present, yet had her comments consistently overlooked until repeated by someone else. This paradox it creates significant cognitive load, the mental equivalent of running background processes that slow down your computer. The solution isn't working harder to be seen, which many of us think, but it's not. That is not the solution here. That only depletes more of our energy.

Speaker 1:

Instead, I will always recommend that you implement what I call the strategic visibility systems. It's about documentation, it's about attribution protocols and it's about selective contribution approaches that ensure your work is recognized without requiring constant self-promotion. I know you're probably cringing as you hear that word self-promotion. One practical recommendation you can try, starting today, is you can create a contribution documentation practice where you keep a record of your key ideas, your key inputs and the results that you get for yourself, the team, the business. This isn't for sharing directly, but it gives you a reference point for strategically highlighting your contributions in performance discussions and promotion conversations. The reason why this is important is because, as much as we accomplish every day, when the time comes for us to have very targeted conversations about our achievements or about our promotion desires, somehow we forget. We don't remember all the great shit that we did. When you create a contribution document for yourself, you will remember.

Speaker 1:

The second energy trap is the emotional labor imbalance. Black women in corporate environments often become default emotional laborers. We are expected to mentor others, serve on diversity committees and manage team dynamics, all while processing our own experiences of bias and exclusion. For introverts who process emotions deeply, this creates a particularly heavy energy burden. Research from the University of Michigan found that Black women spend 25% more time on uncompensated emotional labor activities than their white colleagues. The solution to this is what I call boundary activism the deliberate practice of establishing what emotional labor you will and will not provide and ensuring you're strategically compensated for this work, either through recognition, advancement or resource allocation.

Speaker 1:

One practical recommendation that you can actually start to leverage right now is to create a value exchange framework for additional responsibilities. So what this means is that when they approach you to take on additional work, before you agree to serve on any committee or take on any mentoring or anything else. Clarify how this work will be recognized and what specific support you'll need to accomplish it. Always, always, make the ask. This doesn't have to be about money or it doesn't have to be about a raise or a bonus, but if someone is asking you to take on additional responsibilities, then in that moment you don't have to say yes or you don't have to say no. You could say let me think about it and then you take that information. You go home. You think, okay, do I really want to do this? If so, how much energy is this going to take from me? What is currently on my plate that I could ask them to take off my plate so I can do this? Or what do I need from my company, my boss, from my team, in order to take on this additional work? And then you make the ask.

Speaker 1:

The third energy trap is adaptation exhaustion. Now, black women report spending significantly more energy adapting their communication style, appearance and self-expression to fit organizational norms. For introverts, who already expend energy adapting to extroverted environments, this creates another double adaptation burden. The solution is authentic presence cultivation, developing a leadership presence that honors your authentic self while still achieving your communication goals. This is not about refusing to adapt at all. When I talked earlier about you don't have to fit in, it's true, you don't have to try to fit into what you see, but you might want to adapt a thing or two without having to change the totality of who you are. So this isn't about refusing to adapt at all, but it is about being selective and intentional about when and how you choose to adapt. One practical recommendation is to identify your non-negotiable authenticity anchors. So those are aspects of your leadership style that you'll maintain regardless of context, because they connect to your core values and your strengths. For one client, this meant preserving her thoughtful response style rather than forcing herself to speak up immediately in discussions.

Speaker 1:

For me, it includes cursing. I know that sounds kind of crazy, but it does. I grew up cursing. I mean, I grew up on the streets of Brooklyn. I was cursing all the time. I mean, the only people who never heard me curse probably were my parents, and that's because you know respect in a West Indian household. But I cursed. I cursed in friends. I cursed in classes, not to my teacher, but talking to friends in classes. Right, cursing was just a natural part of who I was and when I went into the professional environment, I literally had to stop myself and censor myself from doing that.

Speaker 1:

And then one day I was in the presence of my CEO it's a CEO of Citibank at the time so late nineties and we were in a meeting. It was just starting out in my career at that point in time, but so I was not a direct report or even an indirect report to him, but we were in a meeting and he was there and I heard this white man curse and I immediately felt bonded to him and in that moment said to myself man, if he can be up here as the CEO of this international company and cuss, why can't I? From that day forward, I did not censor myself in that way anymore. Now, let's not. I don't want you to think that I went crazy, right, I wasn't cursing all up and down the hallways of Citibank, but I was not holding myself back in expressing myself. If a curse word was coming out, I let it come out and I still do it to this day. I will be in board meetings, and if the curse word is what comes to my mind and it truly represents what I want to say and what the context is. I'm going to let it rip.

Speaker 1:

Just the other day I was actually in a. Just the other day, meaning like two days ago I was in my senior leadership team meeting and I was fired up about a point that I was trying to make and I dropped the F-bar. Afterwards, two of my colleagues came up to me and they were like we really appreciate how genuine you are. I was like thanks. However, I'm sure that there were probably two other colleagues somewhere in there who didn't say anything to me who were thinking, oh my God, she is completely unprofessional. But I'm okay with that, because I know two things. One, I know I'm damn good at what I do. And two, I also know I'm not going to curb my natural tendencies in that way. Right, I know I'm good. So that's just another example of that. Okay, now let me share how the energy mapping framework transformed one client's leadership experience and advancement journey, because I think it's important for me to bring it all together and basically kind of demonstrate how this could play out.

Speaker 1:

So I have a client her name is Tanya, and she is the senior director of operations at another a different multinational company. At another a different multinational company she consistently delivered exceptional results, but she found herself exhausted and questioning whether executive leadership was sustainable for her as an introverted black woman. Her days were completely packed with back-to-back meetings, constant emails, impromptu requests for input and additional responsibilities on three separate diversity committees. She was working all day, all evenings and weekends just to complete her actual deliverables, and she had absolutely no time for strategic thinking that interested her the most. We started with a comprehensive energy audit, so we started tracking all of her activities for two weeks and assessing their energy impact, leadership impact and frequency. The results were very, very surprising. We found that 46% of Tanya's time was spent on activities that were highly depleting yet delivered minimal leadership impact. The biggest culprits of her time were poorly structured recurring meetings, excessive email management and unplanned interruptions. We also discovered that activities involving deep analysis, one-on-one coaching of her direct reports and cross-functional strategy work were actually really energizing for her, but it occupied less than 20% of her schedule. So you can imagine how not into her job she was because so much of her time almost 50% of her time was spent on highly depleting and minimal impact work and less than 20% of her time was spent on the work she actually loves.

Speaker 1:

Using the insights that we found. We implemented strategic energy allocation. So she delegated meeting leadership for two of her recurring tactical meetings. She implemented a meeting free zone two mornings every week for deep work. And then she created an email management protocol with the help of her executive assistant that reduced time spent in her inbox by 60%. For recovery integration, she implemented three specific practices. She started a 10-minute reflection period between meetings, right. So what that meant was that she made all of her meetings stop at the 45 minute or 50 minute mark of the hour so that she could have her 10 minute reflection period.

Speaker 1:

She started walking midday outside the building outside the week and one strategic thinking day per month where she worked from home and she focused on forward-looking projects and not the day-to-day things that were kind of pulling her time and energy. The results were transformative for her because within two months her energy levels dramatically improved and she fell in love with her job again. Within four months, her strategic contributions increased to the point where the CEO specifically mentioned her insights in a company-wide meeting. And then, six months later, she was promoted to VP with a $75,000 increase in compensation. The most incredible part was that she was working fewer hours than before, while making greater impact. As she likes to put it, she finally felt like she was working in alignment with her natural strengths, rather than constantly fighting against her nature. This exemplifies what is possible when you implement the energy mapping framework greater leadership, impact with less exhaustion and accelerated advancement, without sacrificing your wellbeing or your authenticity.

Speaker 1:

For specific guidance on implementing this framework for your own or your personal unique strengths and situation my one-on-one coach. Now, if you want to learn how to use the energy mapping for your own unique situation the energy mapping framework then I invite you to join me. On April 12th, I am hosting a free webinar that is specifically dedicated to helping introverted black women land their executive roles, and I'm going to be going over the energy mapping framework. So if you want to learn more about it, you want to learn how to apply it to your specific situation, then definitely use the link in the show notes to sign up.

Speaker 1:

Now, as we wrap up today's conversation, I want to offer two specific recommendations you can implement immediately to start your own energy revolution. The first is to conduct a simplified energy audit For one week, just one week. Keep a small notebook with you or use your notes app on your cell phone and briefly note your energy level after different activities on a scale of one to five, right One being completely depleted and five being completely energized. Also note the strategic impact of each activity on your leadership goals. This simple practice often reveals very surprising patterns about where your energy is going and which activities deliver the most value for your investment.

Speaker 1:

The second thing that you can do, starting today, is implement a strategic recovery boundaries. Again, strategic recovery boundaries. Identify at least three specific recovery practices and schedule them into your calendar as non-negotiable appointments with yourself. These might be short walking breaks, meditation periods or simply time to work without interruption on activities that energize you. By treating recovery as essential rather than optional, you begin to transform your energy equation. Two strategic recovery boundaries that I set for myself every week is one I do not miss my morning workouts.

Speaker 1:

That is absolutely a must. If I'm not working out, then I'm not working. That's how important it is to me. So I don't miss my morning workouts because it gives me the energy to get through the day. And the second thing that I do is I don't take any meetings whatsoever on Tuesdays. Any other day I'm willing to take a meeting. Even on the weekend, I will flex to take a meeting on the weekend if I have to, but not on a Tuesday.

Speaker 1:

Okay, the energy mapping framework is just one component of revolutionary leadership, which we've been talking about for the last couple of weeks, and the revolutionary leadership approach that I teach in my one-on-one coaching program. If you are ready to transform your leadership experience and accelerate your path to executive roles without sacrificing your wellbeing, then again I'm inviting you to join my free webinar on April 12th. The webinar is called From Invisible to Incredible the Black Interverted Woman's Path to Executive Leadership, and you can sign up in the show notes. In this webinar, I'll be sharing my complete system from going from overlooked to executive in just five months, and it will include what we've talked about today the energy mapping framework, as well as other revolutionary strategies specifically designed for Black introverted women. You deserve leadership advancement that honors rather than depletes you, and with the right energy strategy, you can achieve executive impact while preserving your wellbeing and authenticity, and it will make you and your leadership uniquely powerful. Okay, lady leader, we have covered a lot today about the unique energy challenges facing black introverted women and how to strategically manage your energy for maximum leadership impact without burning out. Remember, this is not about pushing yourself harder or trying to become more extroverted, but it is about revolutionary leadership that works with your natural strengths rather than against them.

Speaker 1:

Now, if this conversation resonated with you, then I would love to continue it over on LinkedIn. Just send me a direct message, let me know your thoughts. Let me know what really resonated with you in today's conversation. Let me know if you disagree. I would love to hear about differing thoughts and opinions and, because I know you enjoyed listening to this episode as much as I enjoyed making it, I want to thank you for being here and for all of your continued support. I also want you to give me a five-star rating right for this podcast, just using the link in the show notes, which, by doing that, you will help get the podcast seen by other introvert women leaders who are looking for this introvert black women leader information and community. Okay, lady leader, until next time, keep leading your introvert way.