119: Why Do You Want To Be An Executive?

Often the toughest growth isn’t about working harder—it’s about naming why the work matters and aligning your actions so you finally get the results you desire. We open up how a simple question—why do you want this—can change the way we build, lead, and invest in our next level. 

Ready to lead with a stronger why? Want help getting to the executive level and finally claiming your seat at the leadership table? Use the link in the show notes to talk with us about the Elite Leader Experience.

Transcript

Welcome And Purpose Of The Show

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Hi, Lady Leader, and welcome to another episode of the Leading Her Introvert Way podcast. My name is Dr. Nicole Bryan, and I help black introverted women solve three career issues. The first is I help you get promoted to senior leader and executive positions. The second is I help you close whatever skill gaps might be existing between where you are today as a middle manager and where you ultimately want to be as an executive. And the third is I help you transition to your executive role. So once you land that position and land that role, I help you in your first 30, 60, 90 days to take over your new department, to set up your new team, to put your new strategy in place and make the impact that you need to make immediately. Now, with that said, something happened to me the other day that I want to share with you. So we're still in the beginning of 2026. And if you are like me and many of my friends, you have a set of goals that you have for yourself already for 2026, but there's still one, two, maybe three things you're pondering in terms of, hey, do I want to make this a 2026 objective for me or not? Right. Just to be clear, I'm not necessarily talking about your goals that you have for your role, your position, your company, but in general, the things that you want to work on to improve yourself personally or professionally. I am definitely in that position myself. And I just so happened to apply for a coaching program based on messaging and social media because it's an area that I've been working on for some time now, and I'm just not making the progress that I think I should have made by this point. But the program that I applied to had a video application. Talk about introvert nightmare. So it was a video application, but one of the questions on the video application really stopped me in my tracks. And that question was, why do you want this? And I have to get really honest with myself about my reasons, the rationale. And I want to tell you that story because I think you'll relate to it. So here's the real deal. I have been building my change doc business for about four years right now. And in the first two years, I will readily admit that I was half-assing it. Not intentionally half-assing it, but ultimately because I was focusing on my family, I was focusing on other priorities, all of which were valid. I just did not have the time and energy to put into building the business, even though that was a goal of mine to grow the business. Now, I'm sure you can relate as you think about your career and the role that you have right now, you likely know that you want to move into a more senior leader or an executive role, and you may be putting in the effort, but not fully as much as you could or should be doing. Or you have been in this mindset where you're just trying to do it on your own. So that's kind of where I was for the first two years of building my business. Now, in the last two years, I have been all in. I've been really focused. And by all in, I think many of you know, I've had a W 2 position as an executive. I've been a chief human resources officer. But even still, I am for the last couple of years been leaning really heavily into my business and very focused on it. And honestly, even though I have been all in, I still wind up and have wound up very frustrated with myself. And it's because I really believed when I first envisioned this business 10 years ago, I thought that by year four, I would be much further along than I am right now. So I feel some parts disappointed. I feel a little frustrated, I'm angry with myself. I find myself second-guessing some of the decisions that I've made up until now. And again, I know you probably can relate to this because you are likely experiencing some or all of those things when you think about your leadership career. And the other truth that I'm willing to admit is that there have been points in this journey where I've literally thought about giving up, giving up on my dream of building this business. All of this or some of this may sound familiar to you and be aligned with some of your own journey in terms of where you are with your career. Now, the other thing that I realize is that I'm really good at a lot of different things. But I also recognize that there's a lot of things that I'm not necessarily good at. So I believe that I am a great leader. I believe I am an excellent teacher and coach. I'm a great executive. I have worked in large organizations, small organizations, I've made global impact, I have made micro impacts. I have a long list of accomplishments behind me, both the organizational level, department level, team level, and I'm really, really proud of that. One of the things that I thought about when I was building my business and setting it up is that I assumed that the skills that I had as an executive leader working in a corporate setting would automatically transfer to entrepreneurship and social media marketing. But I was wrong. Some of those skills, yes, transitioned and you know, I picked those right up when I became an entrepreneur. But there were some skills and capabilities that I didn't even realize I needed. I'm laughing now because it should have been evident, but it wasn't. There were some skills that I didn't even know I needed that I clearly started out in a deficit with. So marketing yourself, for example, on social media, that's very, very different than marketing yourself in an existing organization. And marketing myself on social media, I learned very quickly that is a skill set. It is not magic. You don't just automatically show up on you know Facebook or Instagram or TikTok or LinkedIn and make an impact. Being able to speak in a way and show up in a way and get your thought leadership out in a way that moves people and that people can resonate with, that is a unique skill. Writing for social media is very different than you know, writing a corporate brief or an executive summary. It's very different than writing a report. And it's not magic, it is a skill that has to be learned. Now, I tried to do it on my own. I tried to learn on my own for a couple of years. And I did it because I truly enjoyed the process of learning. It's not as if I didn't pick up skills here and there, it's not as if I am in the same place now when it comes to social media marketing that I was four years ago. I've definitely moved the needle, but did I move the needle enough? No, I didn't move the needle enough to hit my goals. So this year, moving into 2026, I had a decision to make. I had to admit to myself that I'm not where I want to be. I had to admit to myself that it wasn't because I didn't work hard, because I've been working my ass off for several years at this point in time. It wasn't because I wasn't open to learning, because I've definitely been open to learning. And it's not because I haven't tried and been willing to try different things, because I have. What I had to admit to myself is that despite all of that, I'm still not in the place where I want to be, and that I need help. And frankly, if I take a step back and take my emotions out of it and I think about it rationally, it's clear that hey, why didn't I do this earlier? I need help. I have a new skill that I need to learn. I don't know how to do it. There are plenty of experts out there who do know to do it, and I have the means to invest in myself. And what I already know that when you invest in yourself, you expedite your growth, you triple, quadruple the speed in which you're able to accomplish your goals versus trying to piecemeal it together on your own. So that's what I'm gonna do, and that's why I was applying to this program. Now, the question in the video application that stopped me is when she asked me, why am I applying to this program? Like everything clicked because my why is really simple and it hasn't changed over the past 10 years, and it definitely hasn't changed since I started building the change doc business. In my lifetime, I want to help Black women change the dynamic of work environments around the world, and I want to help them build their own personal wealth while doing it. This is really, really important to me. The day that I can admit this and recognize this and hone in on this is particularly crucial because the longer I delay getting to a position where I can reach even more black women, the less likely I am to accomplish that goal. And I'm not willing, I'm no longer willing to make that trade-off. So I'm gonna invest in myself, I'm going to join this program, I'm going to learn everything that I need to learn from individuals who have already done it, been there, and accomplished it, and I'm going to go all in. Now, as I was completing this application and as I was having these revelations about myself, my entrepreneurial journey, and the change doc business, it made me think about you. It made me think about do you need to answer that same question? So now I'm going to ask you, why do you want to become an executive? Because if you're listening to this podcast episode and you follow me on social media, that's what I talk about. That's what I stand for. So clearly you have aspirations to be a senior leader or to become an executive. But why? Why do you want that? Is it because you want more money? Maybe that's part of it. Is it because you want a bigger title? Well, I'm sure that matters to you somewhat as well. But what is underneath those things? Those are the things that you get as a result of becoming an executive. But what do you really want? And why do you really want it? Now, it could be a number of reasons for you, right? Maybe you want to create generational wealth, being the first in your family to reach this level, setting your kids up differently. Perhaps it's because of representation. You want to be the voice in the room for people who look like you. Or is it impact? Having the power to change policies, make decisions, shape cultures from the inside. For some people, it might be freedom, the ability to design your life on your terms. Or, like me, take my mom first class to Barbados for a month and not have to worry about money when doing it. Or perhaps you feel like you have something to prove to yourself, to the people who doubted you, to the bosses who overlooked you in the past. You might be even saying that you want to become a senior leader or an executive because of the peace, so you can stop the constant proving, the exhaustion, the invisible tax that we as black introverted women often pay in the workforce. What is it, lady leader, for you that is motivating you to want to seek the senior leadership role or become an executive? And your answer really does matter. So I'm not asking you to give me something on the surface level. What I'm asking you here is to pause and really think about why. Just like I had to pause and really think about why in answering that question in the application. Your answer really matters because if your why is weak, you will never take action. If your why is, well, I guess I should go for the VP or senior VP role, because it's just next in the line of the organization. If your why is, I guess I should, then you're going to stay stuck. Or even worse, you will land the position, but then you'll be miserable and you'll make everybody else miserable around you and you'll fail. But if your why is strong, if it's something that really deeply matters to you, then you're gonna do whatever it takes to get it. You will invest in yourself in terms of time, in terms of money, in terms of energy. You'll get uncomfortable and be willing to be uncomfortable, to learn and admit that you don't know, you don't have all the answers. You'll raise your hand and ask for the help that you need, and you're gonna take action even, even when you're scared. Because the truth is, it is really, really hard to half-ass getting to the executive level, to half-ass executive positioning. You can't kind of sort of want it, you can't wait until you feel 150% ready. Because frankly, lady leader, the executive table doesn't wait for you or anybody else to be ready. It will move on without you. And every day, every month, every year that you wait is going to be a year that you're really not living the life that you want. You're really not having the career that you deserve and you desire. My client Sharon, she had what I would consider a pretty strong why. She had several different reasons, but one of her reasons for wanting to move her career and take her career to the executive level, it was financial. But it was specifically because she wanted to be able to pay for her kids' college tuitions without loans, without them taking out loans and without her having to take out loans. Because her parents couldn't do that for her. And as a result, she started her professional career with several thousands of dollars in debt. And it took her almost 10 years, I think close to 15, honestly, to actually pay off those loans. And she didn't want that for her kids. So her strong why was that she was willing to do everything that I asked her to do in coaching because she knew that if she did it, she would land her executive role, and that executive role will come with a compensation package that would help set her up and her family up to become debt-free. Right? Now, she did all the things and she did get promoted in five months, and that came with a$50,000 raise. And in that$50,000 raise, she was able to not only pay off the remaining debt that she had from her college time, but she was also able to pay for her first child's college first year free and clear, and knowing that she was going to be able to do that for the second year and third year as well. Her why pulled her through the uncomfortable moments when she, and we all have them, the days where we're questioning, what the hell am I doing all this for? So her why was strong enough to get her through those tough days. Now, I've also had clients who have weak whys, and those weak whys either prevent them from actually landing the executive role, or when they land the executive role, it has them scratching their head and doubting whether or not they should have taken that executive role. My client Bethany, for example, she thought she should want to be an executive. And she thought this because everybody around her was like, hey, you're such a great leader. Why are you not pursuing the executive route? But when we dug into it, she actually liked where she was. And it was interesting because I could tell as we were working together that she just her heart wasn't into it. And she really enjoyed the work that she was doing on a day-to-day basis with her small team. She had a small team of about five people. She loved working with them. And when she thought about the stress that would come or the responsibilities that would come with the next level and becoming a vice president, she just didn't have that same level of enthusiasm. And I had to call her on that. She wanted more money, yes, which would have come with a promotion, but she didn't want the responsibility. And what we realized as working together was that executive leadership really wasn't her goal. And that is okay. What happened was she started to succumb to the peer pressure of other people around her. And it is hard. It's hard when you know you could do something, but you really don't necessarily want to. People around you feel like you could be and serve very well in a different position or taking on something new and different. But your heart just isn't in it. And sometimes it's really difficult to kind of push back against that type of pressure because it's pressure where people really do have your best interests at heart, best interests in mind, but it just doesn't feel right. So for Bethany, we realized that executive leadership wasn't actually what she wanted. And it took her some time to really acknowledge that and admit that. And that's okay. But she needed to be honest about it. So instead of continuing to go for executive promotions, she decided to just focus on getting good raises and getting good bonuses and stay in her current role instead. The best outcome for her because she was honest about her why. So I'm turning it back to you, lady leader, and I'm asking you again: why do you want to be an executive? Why do you want to be a senior leader? Why do you really want this promotion? Not why you think you should, not what sounds good to you, but what do you actually want and why does it matter to you? Now, if your answer is, I just want to collect a paycheck, then this isn't for you, and that's fine. And if your answer is, well, I guess I should because it's just the next step that I should be taking, then you're likely not ready yet. And that's fine too. But if your answer is a deep visceral, I need this for reasons that matter to my soul, then you and I definitely should be talking. You asking yourself why you want to be an executive is similar to me asking myself, why do I want to invest in this messaging program, in this program to learn how to be better at social media? It's a similar decision. Do I really want this? And am I willing to do what it takes? For me, right now in 2026, the answer is hell yes. I'm ready and willing, and I'm gonna make it happen. My question to you is what's your answer? Because if your answer is also hell yes, then I am inviting you to join me in my elite leader experience. I have a couple of more spots open. All of my spots for January have been filled. I actually have two more spots for February that are open. But hey, my elite leader experience, my one-on-one coaching program, it is not for everyone. And I definitely don't want you to even think about working with me if you are not ready and if you don't know what your why is. I only want to work with people who have a strong why. I only want to work with people who know that they want this and they're ready to do the work. Now, if that's you, lady leader, then you can do one of two things. You can send me a message and let me know. Send me your message with the word ready and let me know. Or you can click the link in the show notes, set up a time for you and I to have a conversation and we can go from there. But first, get clear on your why, because that, my friend, is what's going to carry you through. Now, January, like I said, it has already been such a full, full month. This month of January, the very first month of 2026, we've already accomplished a great deal. I've given you the strategy that you need to start positioning yourself as an executive and as a senior leader, and to do that and how to do that in five months or less. And we talked about that in my webinar earlier this month from Invisible to in demand. I've also, on this podcast, given you several, several case studies. We've had guests come on and talk about my clients, talk about their personal journeys. We've covered the framework, the five stages that every Black introverted female leader goes through on her way to executive leadership. And we've talked about the invisible tax that we as Black women pay every day in our work environments and throughout our careers. Now I'm asking you to take all of that and to get real with yourself and answer the question: why you actually want this? Why do you want to be the senior leader? Why do you want to become an executive? And is your why strong enough to make you take action? Because that's really the only question that matters. Everything else you can acquire, but the why has to come from within you. And I'm rooting for you 150%. And I hope that your why is strong enough to pull you forward and get you taking the action emotionally, intellectually, and physically that you need to take to land your executive promotion in 2026. So let's make this year the year that you stop thinking about it and start being about it. And until next time, lady leader, keep leading your introvert way.