Recovery Unfiltered
Taking recovery discussion to a different level. Bringing comedy and the lighter side of sober living along with educating non-alcoholics and alcoholics. Hear real stories unfiltered.
Recovery Unfiltered
Sponsorship & Brotherhood
Recovery isn't meant to be a solo journey—we explore the critical role of sponsorship in AA and why reaching out when you're struggling isn't bothering someone but giving them purpose.
• The official birth of AA wasn't when Bill W got sober, but when he shared his story with Dr Bob across a kitchen table
• Sponsorship isn't explicitly mentioned in the first 164 pages because the book itself was designed to be the sponsor for those who found it
• When you don't call your sponsor during struggles, you're actually being selfish by denying them the opportunity to be of service
• After completing the 12 steps, the relationship evolves from sponsorship to brotherhood—we don't stay sober alone, we stay sober in a committee
• If you don't like your current sponsor, it's okay to find someone new, but make sure it's not just because they're holding you accountable
• How free do you want to be? Don't stew in your own thoughts—reach out and talk to someone before problems compound
If you're needing help or know somebody who needs help, reach out to us at recoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com.
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Speaker 2:I'm filled. Fuck, I ran late on that one.
Speaker 1:I'm also an alcohol. We are not professional. There are no letters I'm horrible we know very little. However, you will hear the word god and a four-letter word in the Fucker. I'm horrible. Motherfucker got to be toys. That's my favorite. Ready, let's go.
Speaker 2:That's my favorite one, Hi Rob.
Speaker 1:How you doing, brother. Oh, I'm going to say one more thing my sister said to tell you what. Yes, motherfucker, she's got a step stool and it's tall enough to reach your head. Look out, look out.
Speaker 2:I love How's she doing.
Speaker 1:Doing all that.
Speaker 2:The only reason why I said that is because I know Bonnie's listening. I want her to be mad at me. No shit, I don't want her to be mad at you anymore.
Speaker 1:She's not usually mad at me. I can't remember the last time she was mad at me. She probably wouldn't have said it anyway.
Speaker 2:Oh, single, a single man for the next six weeks. That's funny. That scared all of us, though, when you said that. Yeah, so welcome back. Thank you, we got brandon with us. Brandon, I'm back. Hold on, hold, on wait there, thank you.
Speaker 3:Thank you, I'll stand up and bow I got my toy working again, katie hates when I use that thing.
Speaker 1:So Larry had a topic where, brandon, you had said something. When Gabe spoke at the meeting, I said who's your sponsor, who you're working with? You said what he shared. You realized he needed you and that gave you purpose. It did Another purpose, a sense of feeling of purpose.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he needed somebody. What did he share? He had a rough couple days. He needed somebody. What did he share? He had a rough couple days.
Speaker 2:He was struggling.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he was struggling, he was mad. He spent an hour and a half before the meeting looking for his wallet. Couldn't find it and his girlfriend told him you don't need your wallet, you're just going to an AA meeting. And he's like, yeah, you're right. And then he got in the car and there was his wallet. I can totally relate with that I thought, dude, you should have called me, we could have helped each other, because I've been dealing with that too.
Speaker 2:You know what? That's what sponsorship is. Right there, I want to read something because we are going to talk about sponsorship. So, and yes, larry's reading again.
Speaker 2:An AA sponsor is a member of Alcoholics Anonymous who helps newer members stay sober. Sponsors are a key part of AA recovery program. What does an AA sponsor do? Provide support Sponsors encourage and support to newcomers or sponsees in working the 12-step program. Sponsors share their experience of AA to help the sponsee Sponsors. Answers their experience of AA to help the sponsee Sponsors. Answers questions about AA Sponsors. Provide a sympathetic friend who cares and can be confided in it. So I mean, it's so very crucial.
Speaker 2:On what you know, when I first got sober and I walked in to primary purpose, I felt home. Right, I felt home in a crowd of people. I've never felt comfortable, ever walking into a room and I've never felt. You know, I've always uncomfortable when I had to speak in front of a large group of people, but I was, but I was. I was uncomfortable that I had to speak, but I was. I was wasn't uncomfortable that I had to speak, I was uncomfortable being around a bunch of people. I was the first time I'd walked in a group of people where I thought I just fit in Right, because in my mind as I walked in, we're all just a bunch of drunks. I knew that, right, we were all alike.
Speaker 2:And then I met my sponsor. And when I met him very gracious, loving human being as I started walking through the steps with him, he, right away I felt that there wasn't the connection that I thought I was going to have, that I'd heard about as that sponsor-sponsee relationship. I just didn't feel it. There may have been the big age gap, I don't know what it was. It just wasn't comfortable. And then and I've said this before and I then Rob, I don't know a few weeks into it comes walking into the room. I didn't even know who this man was, but whatever he had, I fucking wanted it. And then he sat behind me and I heard him speak and I'm like this motherfucker is he ain't leaving here without me grabbing ahold of him, right. And I knew that, right, that, that. And when I grabbed him and he told me yeah, I'll sponsor you, and these are the four things, right, and he gave me his rules, I'm like I have no fucking problem, can we start right now? You know, I was wanting it, that bad.
Speaker 1:And that's usually the men God brings to me are ready for that Cause I do. The old timers do this brand. I know you both know let's go, because we need relief, we need that.
Speaker 2:But I had to have that and and, but I can't give that. You know what I mean. Does that make sense? Yeah, I mean I think some people are led, are made, are, are going to be great sponsors. Yeah, you know, rob is a textbook sponsor no, I'm not textbook According to today's AA.
Speaker 1:I'm anything from fucking textbook according to today's AA.
Speaker 2:Sorry, why don't you shut your phone off? You motherfucker, god damn it. Please silence your phones. Please silence your phones.
Speaker 2:But you are to me because you do it the way that book says, that's what I mean by you do it by that text and the ones that don't do it by the text are not doing justice to, to the, to the men in AA or the women of AA, right that that book is successful for a reason that book is successful because Dr Bob and Bill W wrote that book. They wrote that book in the way it works, Right. And you know what's funny is I got something else that I wrote down and so I read this morning, did some reading because I was going to do some research and here's another thing I came up with. I love this part right here. Sponsorship and meetings are not specifically outlined as a must in the book.
Speaker 2:However, the date used to establish the founding of AA is not when Bill W had his last drink. It is the day Bill W sat across from Dr Bob at an Akron kitchen table. Bill was there on a business trip. He had attended at Oxford Group meeting and told his story and said he was worried that he might drink. They told him about a member, the town doctor, who was also the town drunk. Despite wanting desperately to stop drinking, nothing seemed to help. They asked Bill to go visit because one of the tenants of the Oxford group was giving testimony, basically sharing your story of what it was like, what happened and what it was like now. The basis of sharing is still a vital part of AA. So Bill, at the kitchen table across from Dr Bob, who had a glass of whiskey and was drinking, Bill started to talk and talk, telling his story. Sometime during the marathon, Dr Bob stopped drinking. He believed that Bill was telling the truth and that maybe he could also get sober. That was when a was founded.
Speaker 1:That it is also the first sponsorship so june, june, 10th, june 10th, 1935, is the birth of a. That's dr bob's first day of permanent sobriety. So, yeah, because let's, because this is so important, so we're going to do this on page, because the word sponsor is not in the first 164. You're absolutely right. You know why that is. Does anybody know why? I'm going to tell you why. Well, I'm just going to go on page 163. It says though you be but one man with this book in your hand, we believe it contains all you will need for sobriety, you know. So that's how, when bill wrote this because there was one fellowship in akron, that's where I got started then there was new york, but when they wrote this and this published in 1939, which was four years after bill and bob got sober, bill got sober in december 34. Bob june 10th, 1935. Uh, then there was four years of cowboys and indians as a right.
Speaker 1:Then this book went out and say Brandon's wife got it to him or we wouldn't found on a bookshelf out here in California. That's the way it was intended, just like our brother John did it. Right, you grab this book, you do the best of your ability and then, and then again, the form of the first edition says. We shall be interested to hear from those who are getting results from this book, particularly from those who have commenced work with other alcoholics. So that's his intention of this right. That's why sponsorship's not in there. There's what you go, you work the book, then you go become a, what they call go spread it right, yeah so that's why the board sponsor is not in the big book, because in the first 164, because they weren't there.
Speaker 1:That's not the intention to build. That's why the language you hear and, as you know, and when you read it like that, when you read, uh, how it works, chapter five, you see his language next launched out vigorous action. You know the next day, you know he doesn't give you time, go, go, go. That's the purpose.
Speaker 2:You know, and I think the reason why this, this topic, came up to me yesterday is because when I was sitting there looking at Gabe and watching him in his pain and he was in pain, right, I mean, I saw it, anybody in that room saw his pain, right and then he sat there and said I wanted to call my sponsor, but I didn't want to bother him. I wanted to reach up and punch him right square in the fucking mouth. I'm like why, why would you do that? A two reasons why it upset me, right. One why would you sit there and suffer? It's something we just talked about last week, right.
Speaker 2:Why do you sit there and suffer in your own wall? Or why do that? Don't do that. That is the worst thing an alcoholic can do it's dangerous Is sit there and just stew in your own shit. Don't do that. The other thing was why would you be so fucking selfish as to take away from your sponsor, giving him the opportunity to work with another human being, to be of service to a brother? To be of service Because you needed it.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, it definitely would have helped both of us. Yeah, because we were going through the same thing. Somebody asked me the other day at primary Dawson. Asked me hey, I hear you're sponsoring somebody. I said yeah, he goes. How's he doing? I go, probably better than me. And then the next day that happened and I was like, oh, we're doing the same.
Speaker 2:That's so funny, though. That's one man helping another man. That's what this fucking book is about. That's what this is about. It doesn't matter, and somebody said yesterday that one guy had 10 days and the other guy had 19 days. Doesn't mean that that you guys, you know, tell him how you got to 19 days, right, tell him how you got there. That's one man helping another human being. It's that simple. It's that simple.
Speaker 2:I am fucking horrible at one-on-one. I can't do it. I've tried to do it. I've tried it two or three different times. Now I and because I demand so much from other people. Now, if I had somebody that came in and was ready to go hard at it, I probably would do it Right, but I haven't had that. God has not put that in me. God has not put that in front of me. Now he's put me other hard cases that I've worked with, chris being one. I worked with that guy for months trying to help him. Who knows where he's at now. He may be dead, I have no idea. I guarantee you he ain't sober. It's in God's hands. At this point it all is. I did exactly how God walked me through that and I did it.
Speaker 1:But here's the thing If another Larry walked into your door, you'd have no problem sponsoring another Larryry, but you wouldn't grow through that. No, god ain't gonna bring that to you.
Speaker 2:No, I agree with that.
Speaker 1:I agree with that. I've had a larry walk in, I've had a brandon walk in, I've had you know, and as you navigate I don't think there's another larry out there praise, god damn it.
Speaker 1:But the one thing you two had in common, you were ready. Oh, because the one thing I couldn't give, the one thing we can't give to anybody, which is desire, that can say willingness, which is also I like the word desire better whatever, but you guys had that in spades, right, and that's all I need, beyond everything, in that, if you got that we can go. If you don't have that, I don't waste my time. That's again.
Speaker 2:That's you know, because I think the hard thing for me as a sponsor when I was like I said a couple times I did it is that they just and it goes back to me, right, it's, it's me, because why are you not getting this? You know, if I, is it something I'm doing wrong that you're not getting this, cause the, the, the couple that I've tried to sponsor, they just weren't getting it. The way I got it Right, the way I picked up on it, the way I grabbed a hold of it, the way I wanted more and more and more out of your house, was he didn't want it. No, not at all, and it pissed me off, right, I don't want, I don't, I don't want to waste my time, right. But it also goes back to that god hasn't brought you. Know, if god brought me one and said you're going to work with this guy, I would work with him. I have never denied that.
Speaker 1:Yeah brandon, where is gabe at in his as far as his step work? Is he in the men's portion?
Speaker 3:We talked about it after the meeting and he said he is through his amends. And I told him well then, you just need to work the last three steps in your daily affairs now 10, 11, and 12.
Speaker 2:But he's the hard part's done with him. He's doing good. He's doing good.
Speaker 3:And by the time, the meeting was over.
Speaker 2:He was a different person, was he? Yeah?
Speaker 3:he had to talk. Oh yeah, and then we talked for a few minutes afterwards, me, him and doug, and all three of well, doug was fine already, but me and gabe felt better. I felt better that I could help him and I talked to him and I told him don't ever hesitate to call me. I said I might have to tell you, I'll call you right back. You know, give me five minutes, but I'll never knock. You know, I have to take your call and if you're upset or whatever, call me, because I'm probably upset too and we can get through this together that's that one man working with another man together just yeah, and it for me, like I said, i't I've never sponsored.
Speaker 2:Well, I can't say that I have, but it just been they've, they've failed, but I've never had another. I'm not going to go up to somebody say, do you need a sponsor? I'm going to sponsor you. I just can't do that.
Speaker 1:I don't believe that's the right way to do it anyway.
Speaker 3:That's the way I. I was approached with a situation I don't know. A few days ago. I was at primary and these two guys came in late and one guy had been there before, needed a sponsor, and he brought his buddy that had never been to a meeting. And I talked to both of them afterwards and I was telling them I said, look, if you really want this, you need to get a sponsor and work the steps. I'm telling you, it'll make a huge difference in your life. And they, well, I think this guy's my sponsor, I what you think, or he is. And he says well, I think we are.
Speaker 3:I said, well, no one that I know of is going to ask you to be their sponsor. You have to go ask them. And I just kind of left. I looked, looked at them both in the eyes like this is how it works you have to ask us and then we'll be more than happy to help you. But we're not going to come out there and ask you. And I told the guy that had never been to a meeting before. I said, look, I'm willing to be a sponsor. I said, but you have to take the step and be willing to do that.
Speaker 2:Well, that's admitting you've got a problem. And then they were going to dinner after and I wasn't going.
Speaker 3:And then I don't know, I felt bad because I didn't go to dinner. I thought maybe I should have went, but I thought I didn't want to eat there.
Speaker 1:Then don't eat. God, you planted a seed Perfect yeah.
Speaker 2:Perfect, that guy that was speaking yesterday who was awesome, that Pat brought a guy in by the name of Travis. Yeah, he was good and I liked what he said. He goes. I talked to my sponsor and he knows he's my sponsor because I tell him he's my sponsor.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that was a good way to start that.
Speaker 2:That was funny. You know what did I hear a while back that my home group knows I'm their home group because I go to my home group. I mean, you know, and it's that way. I mean I don't, for me, I no longer have a sponsor. Right, these guys that have been in the, you know, you talk to some of these guys 20, 30 years in AA and they say, well, I talked to my sponsor the other day, I talked to my sponsor. I don't ever say I talk to my sponsor, I say I talk to my group of guys, right, we're brothers now Brothers to my group of guys right, we're brothers.
Speaker 1:Now Brothers, and the reason they do that? Because there's I like it, women are different and I disagree with the way. A lot of that, again, we won't get into it. We can, but when, like Bill or Bob or Pat, that's just a man that they are accountable to, they're not only accountable to God first and foremost but there is a man that helps keep them sharp, that they you know, that they knows all their bullshit Right and they can.
Speaker 1:ownership Sponsorship ends, like Brandon just said, after you've worked your night as you work, as I get you know. Hey, have you made your marriage to your mother yet? No, I got to what those look like sponsorship over now.
Speaker 2:we are brothers, yeah, who are supposed to sharpen one another, and I need sharpening as much as the next piece of iron does and it also goes back to this is there's shit that brad and I go through that, because brad and I are so close in the same age that we're we can. We can work together, you know, and and I'd rather call brad on some stuff than call rob on some stuff, and there's stuff that doug and I relate to better than what what you know. And and I'd rather call Brad on some stuff than call Rob on some stuff. And there's stuff that Doug and I relate to better than what what you know, Rob and I would relate to.
Speaker 3:That's what I need to reach out more for that 1000%.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't know if it's specialized or somebody you feel comfortable, exactly.
Speaker 1:But we're comfortable. What is Rob Brandon right? Either one of you can answer this On the bottom of the step work that we do. What does Rob write? What do I write? I'm using Rob in third person. What does Rob write on the bottom of each of those papers? What?
Speaker 2:does he say I don't fucking know, how free do you want to be?
Speaker 1:Thank you. You know, good motherfucker, he does all that I don't remember that shit.
Speaker 1:How free do you want to be? And fact that doesn't end at step right, that ends in life. Brandon, how do you want to be called daryl up? If right, it gives you guys that you have, whatever you have that something in common or so-and-so's already been through this. If I lose a child, me and matt are going to be me and matt are close anyway. You know that kind of because they've me and jason. Right, get that. How free do you want to be? I don't want to stew in my own shit and that's that's the reason why I say that.
Speaker 2:Opening up, talking to katie talking hell. I'll talk to my daughters if I need to. You know, there's something that one of my daughters can help me with or talk about, I'll talk to one of my daughters about it. I don't really give a shit. I my son-in-laws. I talk to them about a lot of shit, right I? I can't keep that shit in my head. I need a person to speak to and usually for me, 99.8.
Speaker 1:It's going to be a man, because I are one and you guys can relate better. That's why I prefer men's meetings. That's why I are one. I are one, I are a man, just not a tall one, but I'm badass anyway, you know, I I think I wanted to hit on this sponsorship.
Speaker 2:Like I said, it's only because we could do a deep dive into that we could but what?
Speaker 1:you said was a key point and I've told Matt this and I've told Brandon this, because Brandon was last time I called you guys three times. It was either. It was like four in the morning. I didn't have to be at work till six for one.
Speaker 3:And I woke him up and then I felt bad but don't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you can't feel that way there. He took that job on when we you when yeah but, like you said, sponsorship's over up through the stairs no, no, no, no. My sponsor, no, no, no, no. His sponsorship will never end with me. He'll always be that person that is my sponsor, right when shit gets real sideways hey we came you, brandon answered this.
Speaker 1:Let's see if you can get this motherfucker right. Since he's on top of it. What else do I tell you about this phone? Call me. What is my timeline as far as calling me? If the shit's in the fan, when can you call me? When can you not?
Speaker 2:I don't think you've ever told me not to call you at a certain time In the middle of the night.
Speaker 1:I don't give a shit, I don't. That's why it's on. Said about gabe. Matt has done this quite a bit and, matt, if you're listening this, we've talked about it. He'll call me in the morning when he was going to work. He probably will talk about, well, maybe a 15 minute conversation, what he went through that night, right, and I said you motherfucker. And I told him you're a motherfucker, right, pause, I go. You could have called me at midnight when this was going on. We could have had this 15 minute call. Now you feel, rob, thanks, I feel so much better. We could have went back to sleep and not ruined.
Speaker 2:Brad had ruined a whole weekend.
Speaker 1:Yes, that time is precious man.
Speaker 2:And that's what I go back and I say I can't sit there and stew over something.
Speaker 1:I got to talk selfish.
Speaker 2:You know if I'm in cause. I travel all the time. If I'm sitting at a dinner place and I really feel an urge to drink, rob would be that first person I called. Right, that's where my sponsor would come in. Right, that would be it If I didn't call Katie first.
Speaker 2:But you said it when you don't Brandon, when you don't Matt, when you don't Rob, call your brothers, you're being selfish and taking away an opportunity for us to be of service to a brother we love and care about You're taking that away from us, because how free did you feel when Gabe started talking to you yesterday? What instantly happened to you? Instantly happened.
Speaker 3:Oh, I felt it.
Speaker 2:You didn't think about yourself. No, you're right, you did not think about yourself one bit.
Speaker 3:No, how can I get him through this?
Speaker 2:The minute I turned around and I saw his, saw that pain cause I heard it. He's sitting right behind me, right, and I heard it in his voice. And as soon as I heard it I had to turn around and look at him. And then I saw the pain and I'm like I just wanted to grab him and take all that pain away from him. Yeah, but I mean I'm just letting him get it out because I knew if I interrupted, right, it was going to take away what he needed and I just let him vent. And he literally was not on topic. He wasn't, and not a man in that room gave a shit, right, every man in that room was just letting him have it all out.
Speaker 2:Because that's the topic, oh yes, at that point it was the topic right, and every man in that room has been there. We've all felt it or is there, or is there, are working through it, or headed there. That's where I say we don't have one sponsor. We have that man that got us through the steps, because we don't do that in a committee, right, we don't do our steps in a committee.
Speaker 1:My chicken died, and not everybody needs to fucking know that, but we stay sober in a committee. You know what I mean. And again, I didn't have this. No, were you guys right? I had an 80-year-old man when I actually was 70. And I didn't have that and I wasn't calling him. We all know who it is and I love him with all my heart, however. So I suffered in silence a lot. I was grinding. By God's grace and his grace only did I make it. But we got a gift. You guys have a gift. Use that, motherfucker.
Speaker 2:We got a body of and this is what I say all the time. I preached this when I was just at Maynard yesterday. I preached it and I preached it and I preached it.
Speaker 1:And when he says preach, Brandon, he fucking preaches.
Speaker 2:I do because I sat right there and I told him I said I'll be there for the next sermon. I said you guys, I go, I'd made them all stand up. I go, I made, I told everybody to stand up.
Speaker 3:So everybody stood up.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And when they stood up, I said now, everybody but one sit down. Because there was exactly 11 people in that room. I said everybody but one of you sit down. I said that's the only. That's how many people are going to stay sober out of this entire group. Is that one person, unless you guys stick together?
Speaker 1:that the mathematics are sound.
Speaker 2:That's exactly right and I said you guys, unless you get yourself involved in a group sponsorship, you have a plan. And I I went back on something you told me, rod, last time you spoke up there I said and a plan is not getting your job back, a plan is not getting your wife back. A plan is not figuring out how to get out of jail or stay out of jail. That's not a fucking plan. You leave here. You better have a plan on how to stay sober. Right, that's the plan. You better have the rest of that shit. It's going to come in. It's contingent on that first plan. Correct, because if you go back out and start drinking again, all that shit's going to happen anyways. It's going to go away.
Speaker 2:It's going to be gone Unless you have a plan to stay sober. You ain't got a plan, because all you're going to do is go out and come right back in. We should get Brandon up there to speak. There was so many people in there that it was their second or third or fourth time, and that just breaks me, because every time you ask them what did you not do? I didn't stay involved. I mean it just that, and I don't even need to hear the answer.
Speaker 1:We know it. I don't even need to hear the fucking answer, basically, but the answer is basically I try to do it my own way the one guy said.
Speaker 2:The one guy said I did it for my kids the first time, this. Then I did it for my wife the second time. This time I'm doing it for me and I go does that mean you're going to stay sober this time? Yep, what are what?
Speaker 1:are you going to do? What's your plan? What's your plan? I'm going to go back to work and get my job. You hear that shit. You don't hear. I'm going to get a sponsor. I'm going to work these fucking steps to the best of my ability.
Speaker 2:There was one guy that was his third time and he said he was. When I walked in he was literally sitting at the table there, ended up talking with him for a little bit and he said it was his third time and I go. I asked him the same question, you know, and he goes and I go. What's different this time? He goes. Well, this time I'm, this time I'm working the steps. I'm like good for you and brandon did that.
Speaker 1:He talks about his going in and out and then doing it on his own right, I went to rehab twice, but there were 30 years in between.
Speaker 2:Yeah, really oh, yeah, yeah we did talk about that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we did when I was 17. Then 47. Right, right, then got sober at 49.
Speaker 2:Anyways, I wanted to step on that a little bit. We talk, we say sponsor on the show a lot. You know we say it, but I don't think we've actually really dug into it a lot.
Speaker 1:Well, we need to dig into it.
Speaker 2:I think we need to get into it a little bit further. I am going to ask and I didn't last time if you're needing some help or know somebody that needs help, reach out to us. It's at recoveryunfilteredpodcast at gmailcom. Reach out to us, we do. We have had a few people, but you know what I love the comments that come back into us. Great, but you know what I love the comments that come back into us.
Speaker 1:Great job this, but I know there's people listening that need help, but I disagree with us. I want to argue.
Speaker 2:I'll give you Rob's cell phone.
Speaker 1:I don't like to argue not argue, but, but you know, disagree. I mean I want to hear that because you could debate. I mean not debate, but iron sharpens iron and I'm a dull motherfucker, so sharpen me up. I mean I may or may not listen to those comments, but if you disagree, let's have them.
Speaker 2:Brandon, how are you feeling I?
Speaker 3:feel pretty good. Yeah, yeah, it's been a good day.
Speaker 2:That's going to keep this good thing rolling, but you know that's contingent on you, right? Yeah, a lot of it is. Life's going to happen, see, and I'll disagree with you on that a thousand percent. We are.
Speaker 1:We are as happy as we choose to be right, right choice, yeah it's it's. I can control my attitude and my effort. Other than that, it's a crap and your actions and your actions, attitude and effort.
Speaker 2:Okay, I still say actions because your actions could do a lot, your actions are sitting there. Effort is actually okay, but if you're sitting there with your hat down over your eyes and your arms crossed, you are being a negative Nancy, and that is fucking, and you might as well be drunk, right yeah you might as well and reach out to somebody. Reach out to a sponsor. Reach out to somebody when you get like that. Do not let stuff dwell on you. That's what sponsorship is for, that's what brotherhood is for.
Speaker 2:Thank you, rob. What sponsorship is for, brotherhood is for and I thank you, rob. I was just getting ready to back to say that because our, if you don't have a group, find a group, get somebody, get a couple people out of your aa meeting, start your own group.
Speaker 3:Start a group, be, get outside of aa and if the sponsor you have isn't working for you, get another one. Fire that motherfucker. If he's got a problem with it, he'll pray for you experience fire that prick.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, and I said that the other night up there, maynards too. I'm like if you don't like the sponsor you have, fire that prick and get another one, get another one right, don't you're not married, yeah, but I mean, you know, just get your sobriety man, because there's just nothing.
Speaker 1:Well, it's your life, yep, it's your sobriety, it's your recovery.
Speaker 2:It's your way of, it's your happiness and your peace and your serenity. Find it, grab a hold of it, don't let go of it.
Speaker 1:Can we have a fight for it? I do. Can we have one more? There's a caveat to that.
Speaker 3:If your sponsor it's a big word.
Speaker 1:It's only like seven letters. Anyway, if you want to fire your sponsor if he's not working for you which means if he's holding you accountable, if he's trying to make you do the work, that's not a reason to fire him. No, if you can't get. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:No, you're a thousand percent correct.
Speaker 3:But if you've met, with your sponsor three times. And you haven't talked about step work yet that's not the right guy, right.
Speaker 2:But that same person that you just talked about. Rob is going to go get drunk anyways.
Speaker 1:You're right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean they're, they're, they're going to go get fucking drunk. If you're at your sponsor and he's pissed off at you because he's making you do the four step, you got a fucking problem.
Speaker 1:And if your sponsor doesn't piss you off, you probably got a piss. Poor sponsor, you never pissed me off. Even afterwards, you never said nothing to piss you off.
Speaker 2:No, I think I know why you never pissed me off.
Speaker 2:It's because everything you would tell me I knew in my mind, I knew that I was fucked up and I knew I had to fix. By the time I had gotten to Rob, I was just fucking depleted. You know, I was literally depleted and knew nothing about me was right. I mean, I was broken, broken and I wanted to be a better man. I didn't like that way I was living. You are a good man, I try. I wanted to be a better man. I didn't like that way I was living. You are a good man, I try. Once I saw the light of living with peace and serenity, I didn't want to go backwards.
Speaker 1:And there's a great example. You can be everybody, listen, you can be a fucking asshole and still be a good man. Thank you, there he is.
Speaker 2:He's accomplished it. Because I am an asshole, just ask me Thanks Rob, thanks Brandon. Why do I keep saying fucking Brad? I got Brad on the brain today, your love.
Speaker 1:Thank you, Brandon.
Speaker 2:Thank you for joining us today. We hope you learned something today that will help you If you did not come back next week, and we'll try again.
Speaker 1:If you like what we heard, give us a five-star review. If you don't like what you heard, kiss my ass. I can't say that, can you? Anyway, if you don't like what you heard, go ahead and tell us that too. We'll see what we can improve. We probably won't change nothing, but do it anyway.
Speaker 2:Hey, thanks, Rob. Go back next week and hopefully something will be different and something will sink you.