Recovery Unfiltered
Taking recovery discussion to a different level. Bringing comedy and the lighter side of sober living along with educating non-alcoholics and alcoholics. Hear real stories unfiltered.
Recovery Unfiltered
Sober Out Loud
Larry and Rob explore the transformative power of willingness in recovery and the emotional impact of recording vulnerable stories.
• Reflecting on the powerful episode with Kim and Mike that brought unexpected tears
• Larry's sponsee Blake making progress through steps 4-7 of the program
• The critical importance of willingness as "indispensable" in recovery
• Developing a genuine relationship with God requires action, not just prayer
• Getting honest with yourself is the foundation for spiritual connection
• Making amends is not about saying "sorry" but taking responsibility
• Some amends may never be possible, and that's a reality to accept
• Understanding fear in recovery often masks the true fear of relapse
• Exciting upcoming podcast guests including a woman who's "sober out loud"
• The value of using original Big Book language versus plain language texts
Thank you for joining us today. We hope you learned something that will help you. If you like what you heard, give us a five-star review. Recovery Unfilter Podcast at gmail.com if you want to reach out to us.
Thank You for Joining Us.. Please share with friends. If you or anyone you know is struggling with alcoholism please reach out to us. We can get you help. recoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com
Let's go to work. Let's go to work, let's go to the toilet.
Speaker 2:You sit on the toilet.
Speaker 1:don't you Use that as your meditation?
Speaker 2:Not my wife, not your wife, nor anybody listening to this podcast has eaten a shit sandwich.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Covering Up Filter. I'm Larry.
Speaker 2:I'm an alcoholic. I am Rob. I am also an alcoholic. We are not professionals. There are no letters after our names. We know very little. Hear the word God and a four letter word in the same sentence. You will also be offended. So if you are easily offended, just pass us by. This podcast is not for you.
Speaker 1:Our opinions are just that. If you don't agree with what we're saying, that's okay. We're going to love you anyway. You are not anyway affiliated with AA.
Speaker 2:So sit back, grab a beverage of your choice and get ready.
Speaker 1:Non-alcoholic, let's go.
Speaker 2:Hello Rob. What's up, Larry, Welcome back. Hey, I think we got the date. Jason Ryan's ready to go. Oh, up camping June 13th For the houseboat first. Oh, the houseboat first yeah and he's ready for both of them.
Speaker 1:Jason Ryan's always down to do that stuff though, so mid-August, we're good. Jason R, I guess we can say Jason Ryan, I don't know, yeah, about who knows, but those of us who know him, you know right. And if you don't know him, you're fucking missing out because he's a stud 2 000 other people that listen. Hey, we got a little bit to talk about when people are listening to this. They got to listen to kim and mike's final the, the finish of theirs that'll be tomorrow, right there?
Speaker 1:well, but when people are listening to this, it's going to be a week past oh, that's right, they're already heard it. They've already heard it no, they've already heard it when they're listening to this, right. So that was some emotional stuff to listen to, to, to, to record, to everything.
Speaker 2:Man, it was just and I think that's the first time I broke oh, I'm gonna tell you, well, I've never seen you get that upset.
Speaker 1:I can promise you that I have never, ever seen you on this podcast. In the three years I've known you, I don't think I've ever seen you break like that.
Speaker 2:I don't think I have.
Speaker 1:And you did it twice. Yeah, you did it twice Once reading the prayer and once later on talking about it, that that don't pull your heartstrings.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're dead, yeah so, yeah, we got that, the editing of it. When I went back to edit it listening to it again, I was five o'clock in the morning sitting in my easy chair downstairs and just start crying again listening to it because you know there's just so much personal stuff in there. And I was so happy for Kim that she opened up the way she did, because not only was it healing for Mike oh my gosh, the healing that Kim had in that. And I haven't had a chance. Thought I was going to get a chance to talk to Mike last night, but we didn't. He wasn't at the meeting last night.
Speaker 2:Not for sure. They went to the Monday.
Speaker 1:The other one Sometimes him and Nathan go to, Okay, Gotcha, Susan's meeting and, um, I wanted to hear how Kim felt after that and she's lit. She was listening to it and I hadn't heard back from them. I'm going to assume everything's okay, so anyway. So I want to get a shout out to my doctor, Ashley, she started listening to this. I actually just got back. I started going to a different primary doctor. Just try to get healthy again. I switched doctors. I've been seeing the same one for like 25 years. I was having a lot of issues, besides all the back surgeries and this and that, Like I said, ever since I've gotten sober haven't really had a day without pain. I've got a lot of different stuff and I just want to get healthy again. She's done a little bit of blood work and we kind of found some stuff, but she was telling me today that she's been listening to our podcast. She loved it. I asked her we do we cuss too much. She goes oh God, no, that's makes it so fun. So yeah, she's Australian.
Speaker 1:You said she's from Australia. She doesn't have the accent, but she's from Australia, so she, she's, she's awesome that's the sexy part oh, I know, but she's a doctor, stop it. They work hard to get that and you just had to fucking swallow right on that fucking mic, even after I told you I've got it fixed so I can mute your ass.
Speaker 2:You forgot to hold the can up a little bit give me a little bit of a fucking warning before you go hey, go right into that, I didn't forget that was all fucking so, uh, so, yeah, we uh.
Speaker 1:So there's a little bit been going on this week. I'm pretty freaking stoked. Um blake got his whip through. You know I said I would never and I've shared this a little bit a couple times with our listeners and um said we't, I would never sponsor again. And you know I told that story about. You know, god hit me over the head to sponsor and this and that and I got through his. We went through his fourth step and went through his fifth and he was up here yesterday.
Speaker 1:I didn't get a chance to talk to you about this last night at the Monday night meeting and we were walking through his sixth step last night, kind of explaining to him what to do next after the fifth step, and as we were talking he just kept bringing oh wait, a minute, I forgot about this and I'm like okay. And then I kept reading, right, kept reading, and every time he would say, okay, I'm getting ready to. You know, are you ready to do the sixth step? And he would sit there and think a little bit and I would read this back. I said have you skimped on the cement put into the foundation? Have you tried to make mortar without sand. If you can answer to our satisfaction, then then look at step six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Can't do without it. I rob honestly. I've read that probably a multiple times and I that that sentence right there never popped out to me before so what stands out now?
Speaker 2:why?
Speaker 1:why I don't know the willingness as being indispensable. It's, the willingness has to be there. You can't do without it. You can't.
Speaker 2:There's one ingredient you must have.
Speaker 1:And what was so? What was what was awesome is I was reading that and I was getting it like struck in the head, as Blake was just like going more and more, and every time we'd start it happened like three times. I'd read that he's like well, there's, I want to talk about another thing. And he kept coming. You know, he kept bringing more and more stuff up and um, and then we I said okay, I mean you, six and seven is kind of on your own If you want. You know you need to go home and you know, pull this book down from the shelf and talk to him about that. I said, or we can sit right here and if you're ready we can get to. You know, if you, this is step six. If you want to go to seven, we'll say the prayer and he goes yeah, I'm ready to go. I said okay. So he sat right there and did this.
Speaker 2:I always make him do the prayer. Why did you? I have him do the prayer before me, so I know they said it, but I still make them go home and take that hour. You know, returning home on page 75 is to go from returning home to amen, the next page. You know, you do everything in there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I mean I, I, I sent him off last night and said you know, we got to do eight and nine, you know? I mean he seems to be. I think I'm finally going to get through one. Good, third time's a charm. Baby, yeah, third time's a charm, but everything is right.
Speaker 2:The willingness is there, everything You're ready.
Speaker 1:I was on top of a cloud last night when I got to the meeting. Me and Doug sat there and we kind of had our own meeting before the meeting because I was talking to him about it. You know, cause I was so excited to talk to somebody about it and there was, it was before the meeting. There's just chaos going in there and everybody's talking and everybody blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2:So but that's the best part. You know, when you you were like I started with Derek Yep Four step. You know you're breaking down and he's going to. He's working on.
Speaker 1:Lauren's done that Right it was good to see him last night he's coming back with the eighth.
Speaker 2:It was his eight step list and that's when, that's, you know, then that's when the sponsor lets you go out into the world and actually talk to people. You know, making sure that you know, don't go, fucking make it worse.
Speaker 1:Right, right. So yeah, that's where we're at, pretty excited. I got two other people now. I mean we finished up, kim and mike. I've kind of been holding off on some other, um been holding off on a couple other people that are going to come in and do some and tell their story. One girl is out of dust in texas. We're going to do her by zoom. That's gonna be exciting. That one's gonna be a fun one, um a little bit different than what you and I we're. We're alcohol.
Speaker 2:She's drugs right, we got drugs, fentanyl, yeah, sponsored by yeah, she's had she had some.
Speaker 1:That's dangerous. She's got two. She's got a little over four years sobriety, okay. And you know one of the things how old is she? I'm sorry, how old the gal is she? She's probably mid-30s, okay, okay, yeah, somewhere in there. And, um, I'm excited. Because what got me excited? Because I read a lot of those. You know I follow a lot of other sober people out there, stuff on Instagram and and and Facebook and this and that and.
Speaker 2:I do a lot of readings.
Speaker 1:I know you don't, but that's I do, that's my job that.
Speaker 1:That's what keeps us in the podcast. I reach out to people that come on and do interviews and I reached out to her because she said something in one of her posts. Somebody was giving her a hard time on there about all of her posts, about her sobriety and stuff, and she basically fired back, says I'm sober out loud and I don't care. And I was like I wrote back. I said attagirl right there, that fucking ain't right. And I was like I wrote back. I said at a girl right there, that fucking a right. And she said it just like we would say it right.
Speaker 1:Sober out loud. So you know, people living in silence don't die, right, and I'm. I just wrote her back. I said at a girl wait, you know way to fight podcast I'd love to have you on. And she responded back I'd love to. So she's listening, do some, do some listening, and we're gonna get it so we can talk a little bit. Okay, so she's gonna come on and then I think we're gonna have christy on. Okay, right, yeah, so we got, we got some pretty good ones coming up. But anyways, you said you were gonna bring a topic into me, did I? You did, oh did I?
Speaker 2:yeah, okay. Well, I'm gonna ask you the same question you're going to, because I do all the fucking talking around here, so are you?
Speaker 1:fucking kidding me. Right now I'm going to give you a chance. I carry this fucking thing for 45 minutes out of 60.
Speaker 2:Motherfucker. No choice, shut up. There's no fucking off button.
Speaker 1:I got the mute buttons fixed over here. Now I can mute the fuck out of it Just what I told you.
Speaker 2:Here's the topic. Here's a question for you to answer. I'm working with a man. I told you about him and he's upset because this pastor that he goes to has been pastor for 40 years. He's leaving, he's retiring, going out of state. He's bummed. They're bringing in some young guys and they're testing out pastors and he goes. Man, it breaks my heart because I want to get closer to the Lord and now he's leaving and there's just not, you know that shared life experience with a younger guy that hasn't been through anything. I said, well, I go. If you get to sit down with the old man, what would you ask him? I mean, what is it that you want? He goes. How do I get closer to the Lord? So, larry, I mean, and I and I, but so my, my first response was this if he tells you anything other than get into action, just walk away.
Speaker 1:He knows what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:So, Larry, how do you get closer to the Lord? Well, I, so I'm going to. I'm going to go back on two things right.
Speaker 1:Two, two things on that. You know my I. I I was very, very involved in the church years ago. Years ago I was teaching men's Bible study. I was extremely involved. But the other side of that, I was extremely involved with the pastor. We were very close, tight friends. He was with a lot of people. I looked to him more as a friend than I did as a pastor, right, and we got very, extremely close and we did a lot of golfing together, we did a lot of fishing together, we did a lot of stuff together.
Speaker 1:When he decided that he was going to leave and retire, I because I was putting my faith in him and not putting my faith in God in my own personal walk it pissed me off and I walked away from the church for a very long time. I mean I still haven't really got back into a church because I had put him up on the pedestal and I had put him in that position where God was supposed to be Right. And I know that now and I got to know that and I had a very personal relationship with God, except I was doing it through him. Right when I came into recovery and I started getting into this, the AA book and started getting into action. Getting into action of my own recovery process. I came to realize that I had to get into action with my own relationship with, with my higher power. That was a necessity. I wasn't going to get it from anybody else, I wasn't going to get it from osmosis.
Speaker 2:I wasn't going to get it from being on your knees for six hours. You got to get into action I had.
Speaker 1:You know, and I tell people this you know, anytime I don't stand out in the middle of the room on a, on a, on a, you know, on a soapbox and beat a drum and preach out loud. That's not the way I am. You're going to hear me preaching more about sobriety than you will about about god, right, but you break me down and put me sorry about that. You break me down and put me in. You know, behind here and I'm going to tell you all the glory goes to my god all the glory goes to my god.
Speaker 2:But what did we have to do? I had to turn myself over to affect this relationship.
Speaker 1:It's a relationship it is a thousand percent relationship you gotta put time into it.
Speaker 2:You gotta put action behind it. First, you need to clean your side of the street whatever that means, and that's alcoholic or otherwise right, I couldn't get close without that right.
Speaker 1:Because there, because there's a there's got to get on, you don't got to get good to get.
Speaker 2:God, you got to get honest with yourself first.
Speaker 1:You know. Think about it this way If you have, whether your wife or your parents, when you know if you were hiding from your parents, your relationship was not well. If you're hiding from your wife, you're hiding from your husband, you're hiding from your employer. If you're hiding from anybody because of something that you don't want to confront with, that's in your own side. That relationship is is broken, right, right?
Speaker 2:and until we clean.
Speaker 1:It's strained and until we clean out what's between me and whatever, that is, me and my wife, me and my, my, my employer, me and my god. I had to clear all that stuff out so I can get that closer relationship with him.
Speaker 2:And we believe in God. So positionally we might be okay, but relationally we're not, and that's what needs to change if you want to get closer. When we were talking in the meeting when you were in Texas, I brought it up to Derek. We were talking because we, you know, we're like with every time where we would. I'm sorry, you know, we're like with every time where we would, I'm sorry, you know we would fuck up, right, and we and we meant it, man, I'm going to stop. We would tell ourselves I'm going to stop drinking, right, I'm going to when. We meant it with every fiber, bobby every ounce of our body.
Speaker 2:But then that's also why we were on our knees crying, crying out to why? Because I was that's all we did Get on our knees, we wouldn't get on our feet and walk and do anything for ourselves.
Speaker 1:We were asking, we weren't doing.
Speaker 2:Right. And how easy is it, when you're broken like that, to humble yourself before God? It's easy. Now God's asking you go humble yourself before that man, go out there to the world and hit your knees and say I'm broken, I need help.
Speaker 1:That's much broken. I need help, right, right. That's a much harder to do and until you do that and then you get up on you, take your bed and walk right, then that relationship right becomes. It starts to work. A thousand like, and I correct, and I like I said I still go back to I had to clear out and you said it, you said it yourself that you had to clear out that wreckage of self, right, right, we had to clear our side of the street up.
Speaker 2:And that's anybody, whether you're an alcoholic or not, you've got the baggage. You've got baggage.
Speaker 1:Oh, for sure For sure. Yeah, I mean I and like I said once, I was able to clear that out of the way and I could see and I could feel the presence of God inside of me and I can feel the presence of God and the decisions I was making and I can feel that now the prayer time now that now that silent time we have with our father, it's I mean, it's unlike anything I can imagine.
Speaker 2:I didn't know this was possible, but I had to do the work, yeah for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you have to yeah, and that's one of the like I said, I keep going back to this. It's one of those.
Speaker 2:So I, so I gave, I got up on my soapbox, I did after he asked me that, and I went on to speak, you know, bringing out both books and how they coincide, james, you know the whole book. James, all that right action, show me your works, or show me, show me your faith without any action. I'll show you my faith by what I do, right, you only. You have no that. They.
Speaker 2:Someone watched that. They were deaf, they couldn't hear our words and they watched you and I live, how we, where we ate, who we talk to they. They just watched our actions. They would know who we believe, oh for sure, they would know where you know. They would know, because our actions, actions don't lie. Nope, my words will lie all the time, right, but I'll tell you if I love broccoli, larry vegetable there is on the planet you watch me for the next three weeks. You won't see me eat that shit at all. I don't think that guy loves broccoli at all. He ain't eat that shit one time. He's never proven it to me, but my actions will never lie no, that's a true fact watch it.
Speaker 1:True fact, I know that I went down to uh, I went down to had a meeting this morning down in fresno and the guy that I was meeting with he knows that I'm in recovery and so is he right. So we've had that conversation multiple times, you know, over the time. When he calls his, he calls his his plant manager in that runs the, runs the operations, and he sits down across from me and goes hey, larry, he's in the same boat, you and I are, we go to the same meetings and I'm going to go. That's a hell of a way to bring up that subject. So we sat there and had an AA meeting right in the office.
Speaker 2:He's a friend of Bill.
Speaker 1:W's Just didn't even expect that phone call, that conversation to come up. So we basically had an AA meeting sent right there. That's a God thing, you know it happened. It happened so fast, but it's enjoyable.
Speaker 2:So, and let me ask you a question when your sponsor, he, comes back with his eight step list done people, he's hurt what he did to hurt them and he's prayed for the willingness. Because it's a two part step, how are you going to break it down? I mean, you're going to have to make sure that we don't go out into the world, cause I was, cause I told my guy derrick that you know how, because he's not there yet, right, but how do you prepare them to go out into the world? What do we tell them about making amends? What is an amends one? What are you? Are you ready for that one?
Speaker 1:no, I'm not, not I mean for, like I said, I draw back on my own experience right on that, and I know I know. When I made my list, one of the things you told me was don't ever say we're sorry.
Speaker 2:Right At all costs.
Speaker 1:Try not to say that so that's one of the things I had talked to him about last night is, you know, when we put this together, this is not a sorry list, this is a man's list, right? You know, he's got some stuff, he's got some. He had a lot of stuff. He had some stuff on the on one of his lists that he was worried about making them men's too, right? And I'm like well, let's talk about that. One of them I don't think you should do right, because it tells us, unless other hurt, or you know that we could hurt somebody, we don't. We do amends unless it'll hurt somebody or cause cause pain. So one of them I said, no, you're not going to do that one for sure, right? I mean, that's, that's one you're going to have to work on yourself.
Speaker 2:You know you're going to have to work on yourself and just let that one go. Well, and there are some that the book talks about it, because we don't get the monkey off our back by destroying someone else. Right For sure, and there's some stuff that you might have to. God's just going to have to give you the strength to walk with you. Did it? You fucking walk with it, right.
Speaker 1:I still have one. I mean, I've talked about it a couple of times I still have one, and I run into the person all the time, but I've never had a chance, never had a chance to actually sit down and and and talk to them about you know how I was and you know where I was and and and they probably never want to do that.
Speaker 2:So she doesn't want it. Yeah, so she doesn't want it.
Speaker 1:But the relationship is broken, right, but I had before. It's completely broken and sometimes I'll never get it back and sometimes that's all on me, correct. That's me, 1000 me. I miss that mentor. I miss her to death. She was one of my. If I needed anything in this, in my business, in my industry, we would sit and talk for hours about you know different stuff and I miss that right but you know, and that's, and that's a reality.
Speaker 2:We, that some good, you, you, there's some of us that will hear that, right, but you know, and that's, and that's a reality. We, that some, you, you, there's some of us that will hear hey, right, you go try to make amends and they'd say I hope you eat shit and die, get out of my face. I'd you know, and you won't hear that, but you've done your part to clean up your side of the street.
Speaker 1:It's, they're not all roses and unicorns and orgasms? There's not. But what was your original question to me? No, how did I go? I I don't. So explain that a little bit more to me, because that that may help me out a little bit well, there's sometimes like the, the general.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I should say his. I'm not going to say his name. Uh-huh, right, when you got that. Yeah, yeah, so did everybody else, but when, when when he uh, because it was was gonna be touch and go his his amends to his ex-wife. It needed to happen, right, but I made him go write it out and then you're gonna read it to me right and we're gonna go over because there's something, because we don't want to make it worse I got you, and so we really had to go through that and then but aren't you afraid that they're gonna to curtail what the true feelings are?
Speaker 2:no, okay, no, all you're doing is you're owning your shit, okay, xyz? Please forgive me, xyz, behavior was wrong, you know. And then you lay it out. Then you stand there, okay, and take whatever they have to give. But he, but then we had to make some corrections, we had to do something right. And then when he went and did it relationship, you know, it was good. And I said you stand there, you read the letter and you fold the letter and then you listen and she hit him with all kinds, yeah, and he took it, you know. But but after that she felt better, he felt better and then they were co-parenting well, because he made the men to the best of his ability and didn't make it worse. But sometimes you'll have to do that because those touchy ones, but there's some of them that have to be done and you've really got to trust God and and I've never made it this far.
Speaker 2:I know. So you know cause. I've also had guys go out and just not take the advice and think cause what do they think? When they first come into the rooms? What's the first thing? To grow back on a drunk, his opinion, right, that's a true fact. I think you know what I think shut up, we don't care, we don't care what you think, try not to think, just listen. And they've, and they've made it terrible. They made terrible mistake, right, you know, just like kind of the one you're talking about irreparable damage because they're gonna do it their way, all right but, and I had to let that one go.
Speaker 1:That one bothered me for a long time, long time.
Speaker 2:See that that for me that's the biggest. The scariest step was to go out, you know, to these people.
Speaker 1:Oh, it wasn't for me. I'm going to tell you right now my ninth step the fourth step was easy. Just get out and see those people quickly, because and I I've said this multiple times from the moment I saw that crack in that darkness Shit.
Speaker 2:There's that window, of that window of willingness that closes If you don't do it.
Speaker 1:No, I fast. The minute I finished my fifth step and six, seventh, and wrote that eighth, I want to say I was probably from my seventh to the end of my ninth was probably less than two days, three days yeah I mean it was except for the guy at cindy's restaurant.
Speaker 2:When you got, you got to see you know what?
Speaker 1:that one, that one, that was a great one and that's a god one that was a thousand percent of god one, and that one hit me from from out of the blues because I didn't know how I was going to handle that one, right. But just like Blake and I talked last night that you know these things are going to pop up as we go along, right, and if you like he was concerned, his biggest thing when we were going through his four step is he felt like he should have more stuff on there.
Speaker 2:There's that and there's always that number that they you know. Hey, I don't have a lot. I didn't have a lot of my resentments because I didn't trust you fuckers, so I didn't let people get close If you haven't been molested. There's only a certain demographic of people that would get close to me. Sex inventory, even though I was very promiscuous, really wasn't that bad, because it was all you know. Consensual everybody's kidding I was all good, all consensual, all consensual, but my fear.
Speaker 1:Inventory was terrific talk to me about that a little bit I had a little bit of hard time going over that with him yesterday well, I don't.
Speaker 2:I should people think of fear? What do they think of? Well, I'm not going to be in the ocean with sharks. That's terror. That's different, right, you know? Afraid of what people think of us? Right, we wear masks all the time.
Speaker 1:That's what we talked about we talked about that a little bit, you know rejection, abandonment everybody's whole thing. His whole thing was um. Everything on his fear list was everything in the future.
Speaker 2:He wasn't everything was in the future. Oh, dude, mind fucking ourselves.
Speaker 1:So everything was on there. She, she's fine. Everything on that list was future stuff and I finally had to look at them. I go well, let's talk about the real fear there. What's the real fear? Yeah, and I go what Control? If every bit of that came true right now, what do you think would happen to you? I mean, he literally stopped for a long time and finally goes. I'd probably go back to using I go there's your fear yeah, there's your relapse. There's your fear.
Speaker 2:That relapse, yeah, and and if you have that hang up right there, you have that hanging over you, right?
Speaker 1:because if you'll drink over one thing or use one thing, you'll use over anything so your fear of losing you know, your fear of losing this, your fear of losing that, your fear of losing that, your fear of losing that, your fear of losing that. It's none of that. His fear was his real fear was his relapse. And I'm like that, now that you know what it is right, we just keep working on that.
Speaker 2:Let's get some faith wrapped around that relapse fear, and it'll go away.
Speaker 1:And we talked about that. But you got to remember the other thing he's not a firm believer yet.
Speaker 2:No, I know that's a beautiful thing, though, but that's where they're reaching they. They're trying to right reach out to god in spirit and in truth what was so funny?
Speaker 1:two things happened yesterday when he came in. I'm sorry this turned out to be all about blake, but I had such a fantastic as long as you don't mind what you know, we're not.
Speaker 2:No, he doesn't he.
Speaker 1:He knows we've talked about him before, but the uh he he doesn't have a chicken story.
Speaker 1:That's good no, he didn't. His chicken's still alive. We, um, we were working out the plain language book, but I was going in between the plain language and this book because I was highlighted in my big book. So I was trying to go over to the plain language book to try and get it back and forth. While I kept reading out of this Yesterday when he showed up he had his big book. It didn't have the plain language book. He goes, you keep going back and forth and, quite honestly, I'm enjoying the original big book better and I'm like, well, okay, that's so I threw the plain language to the side and we did everything. We did five, six and seven working out of the, out of the original big book. Imagine that that's right.
Speaker 2:That was funny, that's right.
Speaker 1:All you brother you know what, but I am going to tell this, but I'm proud of you, for for you mean I'm going to continue to study it.
Speaker 2:I'm going to continue to study because I'm releasing my prejudice on that and I'm proud of you for that but I don't have 15 years of digging into this like you do.
Speaker 1:I mean, if I although I was pretty proud of myself yesterday when I was able to turn right to pages, when I, when I knew what I was looking for right, we had to get down to causes and conditions I went right to 64. I didn't even hesitate. I knew exactly where it was at Right and I was. I was pretty happy with, I was had the ability to do that. But I want to learn that plain language because if somebody wants to communicate to me in that plain language I don't want to be I and I say this to people all the time I don't give a shit how you get sober, get sober, yeah, and if it's the plain language that's going to help you get sober, fuck it, I'll take it with the plain language.
Speaker 2:I will too, I mean. I know you would it's that important?
Speaker 1:But the pages don't line up. That's the difficult part, right, the pages don't line up when you're trying to find it and you're going back and forth between the two but correct me if I'm wrong.
Speaker 2:I mean, come on, you know on some of that, because I've read, don't get wrong, I've already read it, most of it, 90 of it, right you haven't studied it, you've read some of it's all right, but there's a lot of stuff where they they. It just seems weak to me. They water it kind of down, but that's.
Speaker 1:That's the point of it, though, rob they. They take out some of the strong wording, right, right, which incomprehensible demoralization. They change those verbiage a little bit.
Speaker 2:Uh, there's some verbiage to make it more understandable. A thousand percent. They've lightened it a little bit in my opinion. That's and I and what I did to get the attention of an alcoholic.
Speaker 1:It takes depth and weight right, and so one of the things I told, told blake yesterday is if you're going to stay with that, if you're going to stay with this big book and continue studying the way you do, get you a dictionary.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was some of the best advice that I'd gotten anywhere and any that anybody gave me. And I want to say Chris gave me that at Maynard's. He said you're going to want to get you a dictionary and that's, and ever since then I got the dictionary. I mean if I go against the word or go across the word that I ain't familiar with, I'll go look it up and I mean you'll see all throughout my big book the big word scratched out and the what's the true meaning above it or the true word, the up-to-date yeah you know where the goose hung high.
Speaker 2:Everything was good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, everything was good. I mean, like I said, I didn't want to turn away from that plain language only for that reason is that Blake was understanding it. But what was, like I said, what was fun is after we got into it, you know, got into it far enough and he saw that I kept. And when he kept seeing the verbiage in some of the stuff and how stiff and strong it was, he recognized that well, shit, I should probably be going out of this big book. But anyways, it was fun. I enjoy that. It was fun, mr Rob. All right, brother, we're going to get on out of here. I told you this was going to be a short one. I am going to tell you this. I am going to say this I've said it once before I couldn't have asked for a better partner to do this podcast with, because you, literally I say we have to record and you just show up. I've said that multiple times, and I've said it multiple times.
Speaker 2:And and you just keep Bobby Thomas, bobby Thomas's rule rules. I'm at the four rules of my dad. I'm finally, you know, a rule. Number three is the only one ever really kept, you know, when I was back. So man is always good as his word. Man's word is no good. The man is no good. That's my father's right. It goes for a woman too. So right, I told you we'd do this. So you need me, I'm here.
Speaker 1:We don't get breaks in this though no no, but we do. But the reason why we recorded now is so we don't have to record for another week, right?
Speaker 2:so we don't have to record this weekend. When can we get that texas gal on?
Speaker 1:I'm working with it right now, right I'm hopefully.
Speaker 2:Have you talked to her at all?
Speaker 1:not on the phone yet. Okay, not on the phone yet. I mean, I I'm curious to see that texas draw it. I can hear her voice she's got a big one. Yeah, she's got a big one, so I'm kind of excited to get her on because you know you know, who else we need to get back is rachel, dr rachel she graduated oh, did she. Yeah, well, remember she was in, yeah she was right.
Speaker 2:She's get her doctor.
Speaker 1:She was right there, yeah, so I'll reach out to her and see if we can get her back on actually in studio this time. So now that she's a doctrine, so what do we got? Next? What are you thinking? I'm thanking Christy. Yeah, thanking Christy. I really like to get her on here. I like to get that story she recorded with Jenny, which is the sober sister shit show.
Speaker 2:That's what it's called.
Speaker 1:Yeah, jenny's, yeah, she's, she's doing pretty good, good. Yeah, she's, she's doing pretty good, good and um. So they recorded in my studio or in our studio a few times and now she's got her own little studio going. But christy was one of her first ones that she had on and I really enjoyed her, so I want to get her on when are we going to have our wives on?
Speaker 1:buddy, you better hit my wife up for that. Bonnie's ready. I'm bonnie's been ready. She'll do it anytime. I know you got to get with kat on that one.
Speaker 2:Wait, but wait, cause she's not going to see. The only time she listened to these podcasts is when she was with Tammy for six weeks, so she doesn't. She's not going to listen to this one, but I'm about to say cause when she gets here I'm going to bring up cancer and we're going to we're going to.
Speaker 1:Okay, then let's just bring her all alone. No, hell, no.
Speaker 2:Okay, she'll come with Katie.
Speaker 1:I'll be back on. I'll get back on Katie.
Speaker 2:I think we got to have the daughters on one at a time. Yeah Well, we got to have your kids we don't remember enough of it, no no, your daughters.
Speaker 1:I know. I know They'll come on together. If they came on together that we'd have a. We'd have a cat fight probably right here in the middle of the studio.
Speaker 2:But my son, when he was eight, gave me my I forget what year I was sober, but he gave me my chip. And then my daughter, when she was 10. I had her get up in front of primary yeah, and talk about her dad and give you my chip. That was that that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1:That was awesome. Dude, wait till you get to walk her down the aisle yeah, that's, that's, awesome too. I do that again and I just counted that.
Speaker 2:What is that? September months, September yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right May June.
Speaker 2:July.
Speaker 1:Yeah, four months, that's awesome. Sure, can't wait for you to do it. All right, mr Rob. Recovery on filter podcast at gmailcom. That's recovery on filter podcast at gmailcom. If you want to reach out to us, please do that, right? I mean, we've got people reaching out. We've got the guy in Fayetteville, north Carolina.
Speaker 2:He's getting help.
Speaker 1:Good he's getting help and um. So yeah, mike, he's doing very good.
Speaker 2:I actually I need to reach out to him, like my buddy did, get into action Right, because the Bible says even if that's not your God, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Right, right, a thousand percent. Oh, I just lost it, I just fucking lost it.
Speaker 2:Well, because you're old, I know, I know it sucks. God, I need some ginkgo biloba. You need?
Speaker 1:something you need to go up there and work out with my buddy at the den in Ripon. Yeah, I'll go to the den. You need to go, do that.
Speaker 2:I'll go do that All right, later Later.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining us today.
Speaker 2:We hope you learned something today that will help you.
Speaker 1:If you did not come back next week and we'll try again If you like what we heard, give us a five-star review.
Speaker 2:If you don't like what you heard, kiss my ass. I can't say that, can you? Anyway, if you don't like what you heard, go ahead and tell us that too. We'll see what we can improve. We probably won't change nothing, but do it anyway.
Speaker 1:Hey, thanks, Rob. Come back next week and hopefully something will be different and something will sink in. Take care, this has been Recovery Unfil. Thank you.