Recovery Unfiltered
Taking recovery discussion to a different level. Bringing comedy and the lighter side of sober living along with educating non-alcoholics and alcoholics. Hear real stories unfiltered.
Recovery Unfiltered
What Does Love Look Like When Someone Won't Stop Drinking?
The mountains speak to us in recovery. That special place where rivers merge becomes a profound metaphor for the spiritual transformation we undergo in sobriety—where God enables us to "match calamity with serenity." One host shares how returning to this sacred spot after gaining sobriety brought tears of gratitude rather than just momentary escape.
What does love truly mean in recovery? Before sobriety, many of us believed we understood love, but as one host powerfully states, "I didn't know what love was until I got sober." Through working the steps and embracing recovery, we discover that authentic love involves giving without expectation—a concept entirely foreign during active addiction when self-centered thinking dominated every relationship.
The conversation takes a challenging turn as the hosts grapple with a pressing ethical dilemma: how to handle relationships with those who continue dangerous drinking behavior. When someone repeatedly drives intoxicated, putting countless lives at risk, what responsibility do we have? Where is the line between compassion and enabling? One host's wife cuts through the uncertainty with stark clarity: "My children drive on that road. It's our fucking business."
Even amid these weighty topics, lighter moments emerge as hosts share stories about navigating everyday frustrations sober—like keeping cool in backed-up Home Depot lines—and rediscovering family connections through shared meals and traditions. These seemingly ordinary experiences take on extraordinary significance when viewed through the lens of recovery.
The episode concludes with exciting announcements about upcoming guests, including behavioral health professionals who'll bring expert perspectives to complement the lived experience that forms the backbone of this podcast. Whether you're newly sober or decades into recovery, these forthcoming conversations promise valuable insights for navigating the complex terrain of life without alcohol.
Join us on this authentic journey through recovery's challenges and triumphs. Subscribe now and be part of a community that speaks the unfiltered truth about what it means to rebuild a life worth living—one day at a time.
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I just happened to open up to how it Works. There's a chapter called how it. Works. We're going to go to work Into action.
Speaker 2:Let's go to work. I'm still looking for the answers. I'm still searching for the real. The refuge of my past is haunting me. He just won't leave me alone. Rest in peace, sir Ozzy and Hulk Hogan. Yeah, we lost Theo, we lost Hulk Hogan, and then we lost the legend.
Speaker 1:Ozzy man. Blizzard of Oz is my favorite album of his. With Randy Rhoads man, that was great.
Speaker 2:But they're all great. When Andrea passed away and they played my Mom Coming Home oh no, kidding Dude I wept, Wept and every time I hear that song, all I can think of is Andrea.
Speaker 1:We played that a lot in boot camp.
Speaker 2:Did you?
Speaker 1:My Mom Coming Home. We did yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:That hits a little different in boot camp, doesn't it? Yeah, it does, it does.
Speaker 1:You know it's got really nothing. So you know, Hi Rob, how you doing. Buddy, I am well. Man, I am well. How are you? I'm great. I spent yesterday with Jason and Kim or me, and my wife spent yesterday with Jason and Kim up in you know Clarks Fork and Sands Flap. What a day, it was awesome.
Speaker 2:It's so beautiful up there.
Speaker 1:And you got the rain, just cleaned everything off it. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:It. It's so dirty up there anyways, that dirt is just dirt that is some nasty ass dirt.
Speaker 1:I don't care what you say, that is some nasty ass. What's this like?
Speaker 2:decomposed uh granite oh gosh, it's well that. Yeah, over at eureka valley it's that way, but it's sam flats, it's. It's just nasty ash, it's ash and dirt and good grief it takes you. When I get home from up there, I need a pressure washer, I feel like, but I love it, I love it.
Speaker 1:I would rather be there I mean, I like the ocean too, but to feel peace for me to feel the news if they're the nearness of God, I gotta be in the mountains.
Speaker 2:You know, I and I, we were talking about this, and not that he's not everywhere.
Speaker 1:I can hear him. I can hear people God's everywhere. Shut up. Yeah, there's in the mountains more than he is.
Speaker 2:There is a special place right there between the south fork and the middle fork and I have it tattooed on the back on my arm. It's where those two rivers flow together down there and as a kid that the rivers and don't I don't know it's you got to be up there fairly early when the melt starts, when the melt start to get what I'm going to talk about. But there's a point up in there where the middle fork and the south fork come, come banging together down there and as a kid, when we were up there fishing and stuff, I can just remember sitting there and as I grew up and always going down there and I can go there every time and sit there and just it just mesmerizes me and with my back and everything I haven't been able to get down there. So we were up there camping a couple weekends ago. My wife's going to hear this and fucking shoot me.
Speaker 1:That's all right, it's already done. You already got it done.
Speaker 2:So I snuck off from camp early I left about 530, and I drove up Fence Creek there and I knew where the road was. It kind of went down there a little ways and I dropped down there and I sat there for a few minutes and just wept, man Devin.
Speaker 1:Now tears, of joy tears of gratitude. Gratitude Absolutely.
Speaker 2:To know that I can go back and enjoy that when I was drinking, I would look at it and it's just my happy place.
Speaker 1:Now it's just you know the joy, Just a new meaning.
Speaker 2:It's just, you know, that's still, like I said, that's the image I have tattooed on the back of my shoulder right here, and it's just you know, and it's not like I said. It's where that calamity and serenity just bang together, and it's just you know.
Speaker 1:it talks about it in our book, where God enables us to match calamity with serenity, yep.
Speaker 2:And I, just like I said, when I first heard that in recovery and rehab at Mainers, I was like what the fuck are you talking about? How the hell do you? I just couldn't fathom what they even meant by that. And you know now, looking back and thinking about that. You know when I learned to do that is when my obsession went. What does it?
Speaker 1:say it says God enables us. It's just like the serenity prayer Right. God, grant me Right. Serenity, right Right. Peace, strength, courage that means those things don't emanate within us.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Right, unless God's there.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:We can't pull up our bootstraps and just get serene. It's an outside, it's an inside job from.
Speaker 2:God, and it takes work. Yes, it takes daily.
Speaker 1:It takes, surrender it takes, you know, prayer it takes.
Speaker 2:You know, you guys Letting go. Yeah, you've heard me say my Home Depot story. Right, multiple like two or three months when you bit that gal's head off, yeah, and then went back and made two or three. Yeah, yesterday I was. I just built some boxes and stuff because we're getting ready for mckenna's wedding and I was building some stuff for her and I had to go to home depot yesterday and the line was backed up and I was standing there and there's two lines, there's one here I didn't do self-checkout because I had a bunch of wood and so I'm standing in this line and then this line and the lady, the cashier, in my line, was like researching some weed eater crap and the line was backed up. But the other line just kept going, kept going and I'm like what the fuck are we doing? And I started to get that little pissy ass because I'm in a hurry. Don Don't you know? Right, right, do you know who?
Speaker 1:the fuck I am Don't you know how much my time is worth. Motherfuckers.
Speaker 2:I just, you know what. I ended up having to just bite my tongue. And then the as that the lady on the other side recognized that you know, that line was getting long, so she started calling us over there. And I long. So she started calling us over there and I'm like, I looked at the lady and I go why does she have an associate? Help that guy instead of researching weed eater? Why is she staying at the dam? I don't know. She's new. She sounded as frustrated as she was, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Anyways, I bit my tongue good, and then you don't have to do a tenth step.
Speaker 2:No I don't have to make amends. I had to do myself because I was thinking it. That's's all right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's all right. We're not.
Speaker 2:We are not responsible for our thoughts unless they go into action, right, it's that second thought that kills you. It could, it could, right. So yeah, katie's been gone for, for I don't know how you did it with Bonnie gone for six weeks. I don't know how you did it.
Speaker 2:I don't know Katie's been gone for, since Katie's been gone for three days and, uh, I did some. I got more. I could tell you right now I got a shitload of work done around this house, yeah, but I, uh, I, I just by the second day I was wanting her home.
Speaker 1:But you know what I'm going to tell you what I found out. I didn't have appreciation for my wife, because I did, or single mothers, or single parents I shouldn't even say that single parents because I, you know, I got, I go to work. I get before o'clock, go to work. I'd have planned the day before, uh, what I was going to do for dinner, right, and then if I had something crock pot and I leave my daughter don't take I'd have it all set up. I'd get up at three or four, whatever. You know how early I had to get up. The other thing prep. I did a lot of crock pot, we came up with a lot of good recipes and I'd just say at six o'clock, maybe turn it all lower. I'd do some of that. But then I'd find out you get home, if you're doing step work for someone, or if I got a meeting or whatever commitments I had.
Speaker 2:But by the time eight o'clock would roll around, son of a bitch. How do these people do it? I don't know. You know. I mean, that's just I'm very fortunate I don't have kids at home, right, I just taking care of myself. My wife would actually shoot me if she saw what I ate for the last two days.
Speaker 1:You know she gets mad at me because I don't eat top ramen and hot dogs. I just don't eat a little hot sauce.
Speaker 2:You know, after my gastric bypass I don't get hungry, right? Yeah, I don't get hungry, right, yeah, I don't. But the problem is is my protein and everything else. I just don't get it if I don't eat. So I'll go to bed. Sometimes I'll be like, oh shit, I need to get up and eat something because you know, I gotta have fuel. Baby. Well, I just, I just forget, I don't. Like I said, every once in a while I'll get a hunger pain, but not very, not very often, so I'll just eat junk.
Speaker 1:Speaking of that. Like I said, we jason took uh, jason and kim took us to a kitty meadows. He was, you got to try this meal, the steak and I was like no kennedy oh yeah, why had the private dude? It was, and I'm picky about my. It was a really good cut of prime rib, the soup I mean it was. You're gonna get that meal for that price corn on the cob yeah, it was really good there, I'm going to tell you.
Speaker 2:It's you know they once again. I eat like a 10 year old. Their chicken tenders up there are incredible I'm getting that.
Speaker 1:You see the ladies just prime rib tonight.
Speaker 1:You got it yeah well yeah it's just their chicken I can't do chicken normally, when I go in there, I eat the chicken tender well, and bonnie said that she was talking as she was raised basically by a single mother. So when my wife learned to make hamburger helper, you know her her brother, jason, would like hey, sis, can you, can you make that stuff again, can you make? As he thought that was a hamburger helper. So then when we got married, she couldn't cook. I mean, she didn't, she only knew how to make a few things. So I taught her and she tried. If he was telling jason and kim the story when she tried to give me hamburger help and I'm looking at it, you're really not gonna try to feed me that shit, are you? Hamburger don't need no fucking help. What is that? I'm not eating that, I mean I was blessed my mom and dad.
Speaker 1:They both worked, but my mom, we cooked. You know I always had home cooking.
Speaker 2:That's the benefit of you know, dad, my, when I my mom and dad, we had home cooking until I was probably eight or nine years old, I can remember that and then it was just chaos around our house because my mom and dad separated and blah, blah, blah. And I never then, from probably about 10 to when I started dating Katie, I was I mean, you got.
Speaker 1:A fit for yourself.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, you ate when you can, and it was peanut butter. If you were lucky, you had peanut butter and, and you know, some bread to put on it, or. But when I started dating Katie, she I mean, every night her mom would come home at six o'clock. Six o'clock that dinner was on the table, right. And it's just like when I started dating Katie I was 185 pounds, soaking wet, 185 pounds, but I'd just gotten off the cocaine, too sweet powder sponsored by powdered accelerants. I just stopped doing the cocaine.
Speaker 2:So and six foot three, 180, I was six, 185, I was a lot of muscle because I just well, yeah, you're lean baby and um, and it was just weird.
Speaker 2:It was strange to me. And you know what Katie to this day it doesn't matter how scatterbrained she is when she was getting ready to fly out to Phoenix she cooks dinner for the kids for every Wednesday night, she cooks dinner for the grandkids and everything to come over, because most of the time I'm gone on a Wednesday night, so it's was just her way of getting people around the family.
Speaker 1:That's what Bonnie does to me at least, because even the kids, my kids, are older, but I'm gone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she wants everybody else here when I'm gone. That's all right, I don't blame her. Don't blame her. Yeah, but she was flying out Thursday morning. She had to get up at 2.30. And she was still going to be very cautious. I think a little bit about how I don't.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't know where you're going to go, so you know where I'm going to go. I don't know how cautious I'm going to be and I opened up a page in the big book that might pertain but it might not. It just happened open. I started reading kind of what you're talking like. Ooh, this might help us answer a question. Anyway, good you know it's what the hell you got.
Speaker 2:I'm just frustrated with one of our brothers and he is one of our brothers, right Cause, you know, listen, I need your help. I can't tell you what it is. You can never ask me about it later and we're going to hurt some people.
Speaker 1:Which car are we going to take?
Speaker 2:That's the friendship we have with a lot of people, right.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:We got about 27 to 32 guys, depending on the night.
Speaker 1:And that's what we do, because, jason, we were sitting there to talk on that friendship. Jason was, you know, we're sitting down there getting ready to order dinner and he was telling me because I go, Bonnie says not to let you guys buy me dinner, you don't know it was dinner.
Speaker 1:He says listen, you know what you? He goes yeah, I helped you put your bathroom in, but what you did, that is a dog, you know. And I said, anyway, you know that whole thing. He says not, no, no, you know, that's not what you did for us when we were over there, that little piece of mine and I said. My response was what good is it to tell people you love them if, when the time comes to show it. You don't. That means, your words are meaningless, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Love is action the words, the action gives the words strength.
Speaker 2:And I've said this a few times on here I didn't know what love was until I got sober. I really didn't. I didn't either brother, I didn't, I didn't know the true meaning Not didn't.
Speaker 1:I didn't know the true meaning Not a clue.
Speaker 2:I didn't know the true meaning of love until I got sober and walked those steps.
Speaker 1:That's why, when Jay told me this, larry, he said because you hear in the rooms, we'll love you till you learn to love yourself. Jay said I'll never tell you that he goes. I'll love you till you learn to love.
Speaker 1:All you ever did was love yourself. It may have been a self-defeating, a self-destructive kind of love, but all you ever did was care about yourself first. He said I'll love you until you learn to love somebody else. Because I didn't all my life. I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know how. I had no idea. No, but it doesn't matter, I didn't seek either. I sought.
Speaker 2:Rob didn't seek either. I saw I sought rob, you know correct, and I did too for a very long time. Right, I married my wife because she was a she. She just stole my heart, right. But I didn't. I just didn't have that deep love until we didn't care about it.
Speaker 1:No, we just put ourselves first.
Speaker 2:Yes, way first, way first, and it just, it just. I didn't understand what it meant to give to another person.
Speaker 1:Until I got sober I didn't know for nothing in return, no, just just to give.
Speaker 2:So rolling back to what I'm trying to get to, and I have a brother that's dancing around I got a bro. We have a brother. That's extremely frustrating. I love this man, fuck I love the guy. Yeah, and I would bury a body for that guy. But god bless it, man, I'd bury him. Yeah, at this point, right now, I'm ready to fucking bury him. You know, I spoke to somebody else yesterday and we got.
Speaker 1:I found out something else that this well, that well, that gentleman you talked to you was a gentleman I sponsored, because he called and asked my how do I handle this? Right, I was, I was in jujitsu practice, I was unavailable and he handled it perfectly. He confronted, and then here, so let me ask you this, because I asked you well, larry, what should we do? We know, you know, as, because do we continue to loving? Well, and what does love look like? Love, yeah, and I can't stand.
Speaker 2:I can't stand no, no, no, tough love. Yeah, there's no such thing as tough love it's's just love.
Speaker 1:Love takes many forms. Let me read this story to you. So this is okay. It says this brings to mind a story about one of our friends.
Speaker 1:While drinking, he accepted a sum of money from a bitterly hated business rival, giving him no receipt for it. He thus used his own wrongdoing as a means of destroying the reputation of another. In fact, his rival was ruined. He felt that he had done a wrong he could not possibly make right. If he opened that old affair, he was afraid it would destroy the reputation of his partner, disgrace his family and take away his means of livelihood. Maybe what right had he to involve those dependent upon him? How could he possibly make a public statement exonerating his rival?
Speaker 1:After consulting with his wife and partner, he came to the conclusion that it was better to take those risks than to stand before his creator guilty of such ruinous slander. He saw that he had to place the outcome in God's hands or he would soon drink again and he would soon be lost. Anyhow, he attended church for the first time in many years. After the sermon, he quietly got up and made an explanation. His actions were met with widespread approval and today he is one of the most trusted citizens of his town. This all happened years ago, so what length are we supposed to go? You know whether it works or not, right, I you know, because we know what can happen. What he, what this person chooses to do when they drink they like to get behind the wheel of a car yes, and that's the, and my children, your children, your grandchildren are on these fucking roads more people than just him, and then you know.
Speaker 2:If he was just sitting at home doing it, so be it. But he's involving other men and other people and other human beings and other souls and it's like, motherfucker, what are you doing? You've already done this once. You've already spent time in the prison. Are you going to fucking do it again? This time you're going to kill a fucking another innocent person, not again, but kill an innocent fucking person. I mean, what right?
Speaker 1:Where do we stand? Well, see, this is what. Because I was abroad and I was frustrated and I was talking to another one of our brothers. You know what, actually, uh, my wife had said, cause she overheard the conversation while I was talking because I had on speaker as I was washing up. And then, uh, I was going to call aaron, one of our other brothers, and I said, well, you know, it's really not. You know, I'm just gonna pray for him, it's none of my business. She says mother, what's she gonna say? Motherfucker? She said bullshit. Honey, my children drive on that road. Right, your children drive on that road. It's our fucking business, right? Right, don't call this videos. Would you tell jason out with jason ryan when we're up there, don't you know? She says just because sometimes love isn't always hugs and kisses, sometimes love's a kick in the ass absolutely I said, you know, but, and that's coming, so, my wife, we've done that too, though I know we've done?
Speaker 2:have we, though? You and aaron have more than I have. I have loved and loved and loved and loved. Right, I have tried, I have spoken, I have picked up, I have done as much as I can. So, for me, in this situation, working with that guy, I have to protect myself because he can go fuck himself. But what goes back to what you were saying. What's our duty? When do we, when do you and I and the rest of our group tell him to go fuck himself, get out of our get, just get the fuck out of our group. All together, we don't want anything to fucking do.
Speaker 1:Okay, now we set this book aside. Okay, you pull the other one in that. This was our, our bible. Oh yeah, yeah, what is?
Speaker 1:the real big book what paul say to a brother you, you, you, you, the immoral bro is immoral brother, but you kick him out Right, more like excommunicate him, because then you, you eat pot coals on his head which is shame until they repent and come back. Or if they you know, but, but here's the problem. No, I shouldn't say the problem. Ah, fuck, you know, it ain't gonna change nothing anyway. You know and this is when people tell me that you know what I say to them. You might be right, it may not change nothing, but it damn sure won't change if you don't take action, right? So me giving myself that out. I've tried, I've tried to sponsor them.
Speaker 2:I've tried this. You know that's more. You and aaron have given more than I know.
Speaker 1:That's still bullshit does that mean that? Does that mean I still, I don't give anymore. I think we need to do something. What do you? What? Okay, I think about five of us need to get you? Just go over and have a talk. It may not change a fucking thing, it probably won't. He's a fucking chameleon, is what he is, I know, but it probably won't. But if we don't and this is the same thing I told, uh, when you know the buddy of mine that shot himself, that's still alive, we all know when I was talking to his father, he's Rob I don't want to push him because he might go do it again. I said he might, he might do it anyway, right, but at least because I go, because he goes, I was not, I was not doing what he was doing, I was. I told my friend the fucking truth, right, and if he goes out and does it again, all right at least I loved him enough to live with the regret.
Speaker 1:Well, fuck, what if I had done it? Well, I don't have to live with that regret because I did do it right, I spoke. So I think that's what we should do. And if he does go out and kill somebody, hey, at least when I go to bed, man, I tried, I did everything I could do to get through to the man.
Speaker 2:We say this all the time he's just not done. He's just not done, obviously. But when we we say this all the time, he's just not done, he's just not done, obviously. But when we say this all the time is where's that? I mean, he's had so much happen. It's like, well, maybe he's had a fucking, he's been on the bottom and you can't tell me he couldn't have gotten much more bottom. No, I can't.
Speaker 2:He took an elevator up out of that fucking pit, but the fucking cable broke halfway up and that elevator fell back fucking down. Yeah, and it's just, he can't get it fucking right out of the hole. Don't say can't, no, no, no, you're right, he won't, won't, he won't fucking jump on that fucking elevator and come out. And it's just like at some point you keep looking down going do this, do this, let me help you here. And you give that meme where, like old farmer, digs that fucking that sheep out of the hole and he fucking runs out and jumps right back in the fucking hole.
Speaker 2:It's like dip shit. Stay out of the fucking hole.
Speaker 1:But then okay, now we're talking about a human and not a sheep. Cause that sheep had done that, I had to take my 42, put it right in his eyeball.
Speaker 2:Maybe we should do the same and help. God damn, I don't think you're wrong by saying you know, maybe we do need to get over there, I don't know. But it's just like you know you love them. I love this man. He's got such a fucking story. He could save some souls, my God. He could save some souls with his story and he just won't help himself. Nope, and it's frustrating.
Speaker 1:Dude, try to sponsor that shit like that, but the only person that I've you got more patience than me, brother what's my, what's my rule for? You said don't waste my fucking time and I've allowed him to waste my time three times yeah, no one's ever got to do that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I said no, that's wrong of me, I should, it is and I mean I'm done now, but I shouldn't. I shouldn't have done that that motherfucker, you don't fuck yourself. If he came back to you on fucking bending knees with an olive branch, you would fucking do it. Don't fucking flip me off, bitch. I know your heart too well, rob, I know your heart.
Speaker 1:But he won't. But yeah, I would, I know you would.
Speaker 2:Fuck, yeah, I would. You know what, and unfortunately I would too. We have big fucking hearts.
Speaker 1:So are we like my wife, back in, you know from, am I an enabler now, come on, come on.
Speaker 2:If that's an enabler, because Come on is it when he stands right now? I wouldn't. He would have to show and I think you're the same way He'd have to show something we did.
Speaker 1:I gave him the object I know, let me finish these three guys, which is going to take two weeks, then all going to take two weeks, then they're all three are done with their steps. And if you can stay sober, buddy, we can go right. He couldn't stay sober two days after that and we haven't seen him, as we haven't. He hasn't been back to a monday since, right. So there, I'm, there's my. You know, I say there's my out, but if he came home bent to d and s, I know well, because I mean, yeah, what do we have?
Speaker 1:490, you know, seven times seven, 70, seven times 77, anyways, I know 77?, anyways, I know. But this man here that I read trusted God, just put it in God's hands and said I'm going to go do the right thing no matter what, and leave it in God's hands. But wait, there's clear direction in here what to do. There's clear direction in our other book what we're to do, but none of us have done it yet. Aaron's came the closest.
Speaker 2:Yeah we to do, and none of us have done it yet. Aaron's came the closest. Yeah, I know I was talking to him on the way home yesterday. I don't know I I just you know it gets just so frustrating and then when you see a text come through, it's just like I I want to fire back. So bad. That's what the listeners don't get to see.
Speaker 1:Now, all the bullshit that we get in our group text, all the you know, all these and there's another text that aaron and I are part of. There's little text groups that he, this, this, just another guy we're talking about likes to put us in with certain people from the church still the deal, and it's his way of letting everybody know that they don't know what's going on. But, right, they think, oh, he's doing great because, look, he's sending us these gospel messages and he's drinking as he's doing it.
Speaker 2:I was a hypocrite too in my life and sometimes I still am, but not like that, right, not like that I don't know and I you're right, I mean it's just, and I don't want to keep beating this dead horse and I'm no, I'm almost done with it I want to skin it but and hang it dude it's just. I'm frustrated with him. I'm frustrated with him. I'm frustrated with him beyond all I'm frustrated with anybody that does this.
Speaker 1:Yes, this is him.
Speaker 2:There's people in the rooms those two guys the one guy I threw out of my fucking house, if he came back here tomorrow and wanted me to sponsor him again, if he was serious and he was like the big book says if he means business, will help anybody, if they mean business, and if you don't mean business, go fuck yourself, go get finished. It's just, you know. And, like I said, I'm over that and I just what the greatest gift you know.
Speaker 1:I wish you got to meet elliot. He lived down for me. He was a little more, a little bit long. He was younger than jay. He died of pancreatic cancer about three years ago. Good man, sober for years and my when my brother, buddy larry, my big brother, you have more than one yeah, larry, larry g who took me.
Speaker 1:I know, yeah, you got, so larry goes. There's three men I want you to meet. There's Jay. There's a guy named Elliot who ended up being my neighbor. I could walk to Elliot's house in 90 seconds, which was handy, but the first thing he said to me was shook my hand. My name's Elliot, he says, and he'd look. And when Elliot would talk, he'd talk real low. Call me before you take a drink. I'll go to hell with you call me after you drink.
Speaker 1:Call me after you drink, you can go to hell by yourself that amen brother my name's elliot and I was like my god, I love this guy, right because he was fucking brutally honest and he meant it right, and there was times in early sobriety, like when I because I was going to call jay you know what I mean just because I would get up, I would walk down. I mean about, you know, on a saturday, my heart, every time you talk about that, I'd walk down. You know, on a Saturday or Sunday.
Speaker 2:You break my heart every time you talk about that.
Speaker 1:I'd walk down to Elliot's house and we would have a hey last night about 2 o'clock, man this and he would say why don't you call? I'm not calling you, I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 2:But now you've learned.
Speaker 1:Now I've learned.
Speaker 2:That's why I offer that service to those motherfuckers who need it don't do what rob does. That's so funny, he's an idiot. So yeah, katie katie sent me a picture. So they were just in phoenix for, uh, for my daughter's bachelorette party and they were. They were having a pretty good time, they were doing everything that was a beautiful picture you sent of your I was just getting ready said the same thing.
Speaker 1:She sent you a little message back oh, she did.
Speaker 2:Oh, I haven't. I haven't looked at the. I've been on my Instagram because I did that. Anyways, you know, Katie sent that to me. Once again, I'm very emotional when it comes to my girls right, Three of those are my girls and I posted something on Instagram yesterday. You know, when I look at pictures like that, I'm just like one drink away. One drink. One drink Could have missed it all and I still could. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right and I still could, but you are so far from a drink right now that and I am, you know, and I look at things like I was, but you never forget and I appreciate that, no, and it just every time I look at it it reminds me of why I don't and why, you know, I just spent four days thursday, friday, saturday most of the day. She's landed, she's on her way home right now and, uh, I didn't go to a meeting, right? I didn't go to saturday morning because, I mean, I busy around the house, I had stuff getting ready and that meeting is not till nine o'clock and you know my frustration with that needs to be at 7 30. Oh, my gosh, it's just. You know that nine o'clock meeting is literally you. When you get up at five o'clock in the morning, I so much I'm in the middle shit, right. So if I start a project, I got to stop it and then come back and I'm not going to go back to it because now it's 1030 and it's nap time.
Speaker 1:You know we should do, we should start our own seven, seven thirty meeting at the, at the sewing shop.
Speaker 2:It's just whatever.
Speaker 1:It's that nine o'clock is, just just it is, and then it gets done, usually at 10, 30 and then like and then here's the other thing you and I are getting ready to start coaching my grandson's football and bradson we got johnson jonathan, we're getting ready to start coaching that we're not going to hit another saturday morning meeting for a while we'll have one with me, you and brad I guess in the third and fourth graders
Speaker 1:we'll have one with me you and Brad, I guess, and the third and fourth graders. We'll have a quick one before we start coaching. Dude, I had a dream last night. I was telling Jason and Kim about it. Me and Bonnie were talking about it, and last night you were coaching and I don't know who our quarterback was. Kane was a receiver, but our quarterback we were doing a rollout play and this is weird, but he kept. He'd have the ball here, which kept frustrating me. It's like no, no, no. As soon as you turn your hips, that ball's got to be by your ear.
Speaker 2:You got to be here Up.
Speaker 1:Ready to you know, because he kept. He was late on. I don't know who it was, just like shit, a coach in high school varsity football.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna go back and coach third and fourth you know flag football, yeah, football, you know, I, I was in my mind. I'm thinking of all these offensive plays and thinking of all these defensive plays. I'm like larry, stop, stop, yeah, simple bud, simple right. I have all this shit in my head and it's like stop, wait till you get out there, like set it up for what you got. So it's coming up August. I don't know. I need to get some details this week.
Speaker 1:She told me, vanessa told me it was August. We have our coaches and then towards the end of August is when we start.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I got to figure that out because I got to move some schedules around on my side.
Speaker 1:All I have.
Speaker 2:Doug is. I fly out tomorrow and I'm gone until Friday, and then I turn right around. What time do you?
Speaker 1:fly out tomorrow.
Speaker 2:I don't fly out until 1 tomorrow, but then I'm home on Friday and then on Tuesday the following week I'm back over in Salinas for the entire week, so all the way through Saturday because we have a big dinner.
Speaker 1:Anyways, we're talking serious stuff, so I'll get the dates. I'll have Doug get the dates, since he nailed us into this bullshit he needs to pay us a stipend, you know what I think he does. He's got the money. I think that's In-N-Out Burger, at least once a week.
Speaker 2:Doug Douglas. So yeah, McKenna's wedding is getting closer and closer. I spent all day yesterday. She wanted these boxes built. They're stepping stone boxes what?
Speaker 1:Go ahead, I'm going to keep these two. There's two things I need to ask you that are super important.
Speaker 2:Okay, go ahead. Anyways, she wanted these boxes and I don't know if you've bought wood lately. No, I haven't. These boxes end up costing $650 in wood, god bless. They're a two-foot, a three-foot and a four-foot Right, and so they put flowers on on both sides of the altar and stuff when she's getting married, and it's like I tried to build them as simple and easy as I possibly could, but it's still $650 in freaking wood. That's what I did Friday, saturday and Sunday. I finished up this morning. I finished up about. It's funny, I was outside about 6 o'clock with my stereo on and the saws going in the garage. You know this is going back to what. I couldn't do that kind of stuff without drinking before.
Speaker 1:Oh hell no.
Speaker 2:And that's just that was that's the first, before you even get your tools ready. Right, I'd have the jack dales nerves first, jack daniels, right there, calm the nerves first.
Speaker 1:All right, what are your two things? Um, as far as about, uh, mckenna's wedding, bonnie rsvp had already and she and she just sent a sum of money towards their fund. Yep, she was want to make sure that she did everything right, so she was gonna ask katie to make sure that she did everything right. So she was going to ask Katie to make sure. I don't know, because she's not very. Anyway, I'll ask. Second thing my nephew, tammy's youngest, challen. Well, they both drive fuel trucks back in Wyoming. Okay, he's thinking of buying, you know, looking into buying his own truck and this kind of. And I said, well, and he's coming out. I think it's September, late August or September. I said, well, I'll have him talk to Larry. Yeah, yeah, if you could. So we'll set it with that. When he's getting close, I'll have you set aside an hour.
Speaker 2:We'll come out and just talk to him. Talk to him about? Is he absolutely no, absolutely so. Um so we're gonna wrap this up, but I want to understand on august 3rd, uh, which is next sunday, yes, we're back in studio, back in the studio and we're gonna have paul and dr barry I got a lot of uh I got, I got a few paul had some. They love. Yeah, they love.
Speaker 1:He's got a good voice well, he's got a dude, he's got a voice he's got a voice for radio.
Speaker 2:He's got a voice for this.
Speaker 1:Like I've got a face for radio, he's got a voice for it.
Speaker 2:You got a face only your mama loves.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:She died. Yeah, so August 3rd, next Saturday. Well, this is going to air. Well, this is coming Sunday. So Dr Berry and Paul's going to be here. So dr barry's a doctor of behavioral health and paul is a nurse. I'm thinking he he said he had his nursing degree and he also is the vice president, the senior vice president, of dignity, which is behavioral health. Yeah, he's a big wig.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's, he's up there, but extremely intelligent oh man extremely smart so what I would like and the living experience of one of us yes 37 eight years of sobriety and the program right and so we're gonna have a couple professionals on here we're not doctors, but the dr barry is, and paul is about as smart of a person that I know coming to behavioral health. So what? I would like if our listeners have questions that they want answered, if you got something, a topic or something you want to be brought up during that, episode.
Speaker 1:this is the time to do it. Yes, we're going to.
Speaker 2:you're going to have knowledge, we're going to have a lot of knowledge in the studio and I don't care how long the podcast goes. We'll sit here all day long if we need to.
Speaker 1:And I'll bet you. I'll bet you 90 to nothing.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah you, I'll bet you 90 to nothing. Oh, once they get, oh yeah, it's just gonna go, or no, we'll direct, but it's just gonna.
Speaker 1:I'm excited, you know, I'm excited for that because she's gonna have. I bet she'll have a lot of questions for oh, yeah, no and I mean he could really help. This is gonna be a blessing for both.
Speaker 2:I know I'm excited, and then our then the week, then we're back in the studio. We got three weeks back to back to back that we're recording.
Speaker 1:Okay, we got then we got jim hart coming in.
Speaker 2:I love that he's so much fun don't you fucking start already on that guy tell you what, jim?
Speaker 1:you haven't even met me yet and you're cracking on my. He's making dude, I loved it. He's making fucking short jokes. The rain man rob still cracks me up.
Speaker 2:Rain man rob that's so funny, but yeah, he made with that with the shitter, when brad had the forklift, the shitter on the forklift. The Rain man Rob still cracks me up. Rain man Rob, that's so funny, but yeah, he's.
Speaker 1:But he made the shitter when Brad had the forklift. The shitter on the forklift. He hasn't even met me yet and making short jokes, I love it. Jim, you're right, his ass is. We got a jujitsu match right there with a retired fireman. That's funny.
Speaker 2:My son-in-law, so he's going to be here. He flies in on Friday, so he's going to be with us Friday, saturday, sunday and Monday he's going to go to our meeting with us.
Speaker 1:We'll hit some meetings then.
Speaker 2:Yep, so he'll be there, and then the following weekend.
Speaker 1:We're going to take him to primary on a Friday. Yes, sir. Okay, maybe take him to dinner too. Ask, pay for it, fireman, fireman, fireman he better be six foot or better.
Speaker 2:I don't hear shit from him and then, uh, then, socal, socal cat's gonna be up here, so okay, by that time we better get some damn cameras. Oh yeah, you know, we should have cameras for dr barry, because she's very I ain't gonna have it ready that fast, but you know um so I'm excited, for we got some good ones coming up, some really good ones.
Speaker 1:So next one's going to be we got one, the one we're doing today, yeah.
Speaker 2:We got a good one today, which this next week you're going to hear. It's Sean. Sean. I'll let him talk how he wants to talk or introduce himself, but Sean's got 10 years of sobriety, Doesn't not involved in any program, just doing it. So we're going to figure out how that's working out for him. He's got a hell of a story. I've had some time to talk to him and I can't wait to hear from him. So let's you and I get out of here.
Speaker 1:Thanks, rob, I need you out.
Speaker 2:Oh shit, wait, Seth, that's a good one though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's my favorite one. Hey, you know. Hey, I'm that guy, I know you are, and I got a disposal system.
Speaker 2:I won't tell no one what it is, but I've got it. Thank you for joining us today. I've tested it For bones If you do not come back next week and we'll try again heard kiss my.
Speaker 1:You can't say that, can you? Anyway, if you don't like what you heard, go ahead and tell us that too. We'll see what we can improve. We probably won't change nothing, but do it anyway hey, thanks, rob.
Speaker 2:Come back next week and hopefully something will be different and something will sink in. This has been recovery, unfiltered.