Recovery Unfiltered
Taking recovery discussion to a different level. Bringing comedy and the lighter side of sober living along with educating non-alcoholics and alcoholics. Hear real stories unfiltered.
Recovery Unfiltered
Isolation and the Road to Recovery
Finding peace amid the chaos of your own mind might be recovery's greatest challenge. In this eye-opening episode, Stefani shares her remarkable journey from addiction to awakening, revealing how the 12 Steps silenced the cruel voices that had dominated her thoughts for years.
"The steps removed so many voices in my head that I didn't know existed until they were gone," Stefani reflects, describing the vicious internal dialogue that kept her trapped in patterns of self-hatred long before substances entered the picture. Her story illuminates how isolation becomes both symptom and perpetuator of addiction—a psychological prison built brick by brick through years of trying to fit in where she didn't belong.
We dive deep into the raw realities of recovery, from the exhaustion that can masquerade as depression to the societal conditioning that leaves many women feeling perpetually inadequate. Stefani's journey toward embracing nonconformity offers a powerful metaphor for recovery itself: "I spent my whole life trying to fit a circle into a square...if I'm a fucking circle, I'm a fucking circle and I'm gonna go find other circles and we're gonna be happy."
The conversation takes unexpected turns through discussions of metal detectors, Chinese food in Mexico, and Stephanie's almost miraculous legal reprieve after eight years with a felony warrant. Throughout these seemingly disparate topics runs a consistent thread—recovery doesn't just mean getting sober; it means discovering who you truly are beneath years of masks and misconceptions.
Whether you're personally in recovery, love someone who is, or simply seek deeper understanding of the human condition, this episode offers wisdom, laughter, and the profound reminder that authentic connection is the antidote to isolation. Subscribe now, leave a review, and join our growing community of people committed to honest, unfiltered conversations about what it really takes to transform your life.
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pray us in, brother, pray us in.
Speaker 2:Put that mic in front of you too, please yeah, heavenly father, thank you for this time that we get to come together and have a topic. Thank you for stephanie's willingness to tell her story and we pray that. We pray that many can be helped from it. Probably want to pray for mary, who's, uh, dealing with infertility. Your hand of blessing. You are the great physician. The Bible says that we pray for your hand to be upon her and that the child that is to come about healthy, happy and touch lives for your glory. Here we go with the topic. Let our speech be full of gratitude, seasoned with salt. It's in Christ we pray.
Speaker 1:Amen, amen, amen.
Speaker 2:Let's go to work, you beating up on Mary While my eyes were closed. I just kind of moved her way.
Speaker 1:And I felt her hey you laid hands. You laid hands, brother we are gonna lighten this one up. That was a heavy one welcome back second week. I shouldn't say welcome back. It's not like we took a break I know hi stephanie, welcome back, thanks, you know.
Speaker 1:So normally what we always do, we always come back with the same guest. We try to do a topic to kind of lighten it up. Most of the time the stories are pretty heavy, so we try to get back in. We like to do a topic right. So I want to bring up a couple things with Rob, because you know, last week was traveling, because right before we started this podcast, rob and I Rob was here first and we got to. Talking is one of the things that we do, me for sure, and Rob even said it, and so I kind of know that Rob is is a human being, because even he's admitted a few minutes ago we were running so hard for about three to four weeks, and this is something that we talk about is balance, right. That balance and that balance has gotten so out of whack that I can't, I couldn't catch rest, I couldn't.
Speaker 2:I came home, I mean with good stuff, you know, I mean service.
Speaker 1:No, it's all positive.
Speaker 2:But still yeah, heavy, all positive Brutal.
Speaker 1:And I came home from the meeting yesterday and I had a bunch of stuff I wanted to do and I came home and katie was sitting out on the back porch and I went out there and sat with her for a few minutes and I came back inside and I went into the bedroom and I shut the door and I fell asleep till 2 30. I didn't move. Katie said I came in there and you were snoring.
Speaker 2:I was out, just needed it. I was out. I slept till 8 30 this morning, which is rare for me she said that's.
Speaker 3:I've heard you talk about her, that is that is right, and it's just we get up, mow the lawns, we get beat down.
Speaker 2:And even even when I got up today, we kind of started moving around and I went back in, laid back down for another little bit and I just I just get, I'm beat, beat to hell you know, but you know it's, it's like, I think, as it creeps up on you don't realize you're just yeah, because you just pick yourself up for the next day, the next job, the next practice, the next, whatever, the next step set of step work yeah, the traveling gets me right, I mean and I don't do a lot of traveling, so when I did, the whole got me got got me.
Speaker 1:No, when I left I finished in Yuma on um. It was about 1130 on Thursday. I wasn't set to skip to fly back until Friday. Well, I finished up 11, 1120 in in Yuma and I looked at my, looked at the flights leaving San Diego and I was like I can make that five o'clock flight. So I just booked at home and I got. I got landed at seven o'clock and in sacramento I got home about nine o'clock and went straight to bed and again there's nothing like it hit my wife yesterday.
Speaker 2:I was frustrated about again wanting wanting robs because I had a certain thing of the three-day weekend after I, you know, get up at three o'clock two thirty every morning for weeks and then she's like she could tell I was a little upset, right like I'm just looking forward to work, right at this point of what I got to look forward to. So she had cut off a few things. She, I didn't know, she didn't she just came back to the bedroom. She goes. You know what? This is what we're gonna do and you know sometimes it has to be done.
Speaker 2:mama, yeah, and I, why do you realize? I just need to hold my wife. Yep, you know, sometimes that's just when I, that's just what I need.
Speaker 1:When I said I went back to bed this morning, Katie was still laying in bed and I laid there in that bed and we laid there till almost 10 o'clock and that's unheard of for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean I'm up. I'm up at five, 30 every day, and in about eight o'clock and laid down, we didn't leave the bedroom until 10 o'clock. This too I've been, I, I was and I knew that I needed to be rested for this right. I know our podcast that it takes some. It takes some. It does me right emotionally. It does me because I get so invested not always me, but like today, yeah, last week jim's jim's was a big one for me.
Speaker 1:This one got me today and then, anyways, or last week that you know the people that heard it last week, and it's just they get me sometimes and that's why I enjoy doing these second ones, because it lightens things up, right. So we want to bring in a topic, right?
Speaker 2:what five fucking minutes, what that's we get five of those and that's it I feel like that's a challenge, that's a baseline.
Speaker 4:Five of those, that's two. You, son of a baseline.
Speaker 2:Fuck him. Five of those, that's two. You, son of a bitch. We can say as many of those as we want.
Speaker 1:I said prick. You guys said I said prick a lot on that last one.
Speaker 2:Because you're always addressing me.
Speaker 1:Little prick. Yeah, so tell me, steph, you wanted to talk about something you had a topic you wanted to bring up, yeah, uh.
Speaker 3:So I was just thinking about kind of my story and kind of like something that I think that everyone experiences, just in different you know ways, is the effects of, like isolation and addiction and alcoholism. You know whether it be isolating yourself or you know someone else kind of isolating you. I just feel like everyone experiences isolation and that struggles I?
Speaker 1:I get it from depression. Right, I get it because that's what Katie. When she sees me get wore down, like I've been the last couple of days, katie struggles, not being able to recognize the difference between my depression or just exhausted. You know, like she came in the room yesterday, what's?
Speaker 1:the difference from you, from your perspective from my perspective is I know I know mentally where I'm at Right. I know yesterday, when Katie come into the room and she was going to open up the blinds in the in the bedroom and I'm like, no, don't open those up, I'm sleeping. I think she knew right then that I was just tired, right. But she's checks on me, right, and I appreciate it. If I know that it's a depression thing, I just I pull my boots up, I go to work, right, I can't, I go do something.
Speaker 1:Right, Go work outside. I go do something because I can't. That was physical, but that's also isolation. Right, when you talk about there's a difference between isolation and just being physically exhausted. Right, when I get in my depression, I want to be left the fuck alone. I don't want anybody messing with me. I don't want anybody talking to me. I don't want to be on the phone, I don't want anything. If you're calling me and I'm ignoring phone calls, I'm in a bad spot.
Speaker 3:I feel like I'm just now getting to a point where I'm I'm. I have a hard time recognizing that in myself sometimes because I didn't recognize that I had mental health issues for a really long time. Um, I was just more recently got on antidepressants and everything while I've been in recovery and I was so used to putting on a face oh yeah right, and so like any time, anybody would ask me like hey, how you doing?
Speaker 3:I'm always good, good, how, how are you? Let's talk about you. Let's not talk about me, let's talk about you, you know. And so it was like this, like I started to almost lie, so much about it. I was lying to myself so much I started to believe it, so I struggle with recognizing the difference between To die on self.
Speaker 1:Be true baby.
Speaker 3:I struggle with it. Sometimes I'm like, okay, am I just really exhausted, mentally, physically exhausted, or am I, you know, falling into potential depression right now?
Speaker 2:and there is a spot in, in, in our, in our, in our rooms. Uh, it's not stigmatized as much anymore, but sometimes you need outside help. The steps are fantastic, sponsorship's great yeah did I need outside help? No, but there are people that I've pushed or helped them get outside help. If you need it, go get it. Um yeah, regardless of what anybody says, go get it yeah, I'm.
Speaker 3:I'm all on board with that. I feel like you know, everybody's recovery is different. If you don't need it, that is good for you and I'm happy for you. I would. I was really resistant to medication very can I?
Speaker 2:can I ask why? Because of all the other chemicals she's already put inside her body? Absolutely, she doesn't want any more.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, I was so sick of being chemically dependent and I didn't want to sign up for a lifetime of what?
Speaker 1:what made the change? What made the change?
Speaker 3:um, I spoke to the doctor quite a few times about it, um, and I was really, really struggling with like pulling myself out of a slump. I just was and I kept telling myself, like I'm like, I'm going to do it, like I'm going to do it, this is just a temporary, and it just wasn't happening. I wasn't getting out of that slump, and so I kept being suggested to me like hey, we can start you on something really low, you know, but it might help, just it might help. And I finally sat down with the doctor and I said is this something that I'm signing up for permanently? And she said no, ideally this would be like a maximum of like six months. Just, this is just to help you kind of regulate out, basically, and then you can hopefully, ideally you'll be able to like maintain by yourself, without chemicals, and so that was a big selling point for me.
Speaker 2:I didn't want to commit to a lifetime of anything but one thing we have to realize as well me as well we just did started drugs young. What did we do? What? Did we change what, what? Chemically. Would we change? Maybe maybe not, I don't know absolutely.
Speaker 3:I. I find myself acting like a you know, because I started when I was like 17. I find myself handling situations like a 17 year old girl, would you?
Speaker 1:know. So I mean because I the reason why I asked you that the difference is because I tried a bunch of. I knew I'd battle in depression when I was drinking all the time. I knew it was right it runs.
Speaker 1:It was, it runs in our family, right. So I knew I had it and I was self-medicating and I was trying everything I could possibly do to put myself further and further into a hole. I I that's what I was working on was trying to minimize, you know, the the anxiety on top of the depression. And I couldn't get there until I found that peace and serenity in my life. And then, when I was had that for a couple of years, and then I felt that depression starting to come back in, because when I was drinking I tried multiple different things just to appease the family and the wife and everything else and I was hoping something would bust me out of that hole that I was in and no chemical was going to do it as long as I was putting alcohol into my system, right, nothing was. But man, when I got on it, it's been about four or five months ago now. What a difference life has been for me.
Speaker 2:Now, do you think we isolate when we do Because we've all done it To protect others or to protect ourselves, or both? What do we tell ourselves? No one wants to be around, you know? Oh, I'm a selfish prick. Oh yeah, you know I'm a selfish prick, no one wants to be around me, so I'm just going to get, cause that's the worst place for me is to be used to be by myself, isolated.
Speaker 1:I mean now that I don't. I mean I, I know how I'll answer that.
Speaker 1:I'll isolate Cause I don't want another fucking person to ask me another goddamn question. I don't want a fucking question, I don't want to talk, I don't want to fucking think Leave me alone. Yes, leave me alone. I don't need, I don't need any more, nothing around me. Leave me alone and it's just. It's hard and it's you know what, and I hate that because my baby's come around. My wife needs me. All these people need me, you know, and I I run a company. They need my attention all the time. And when I'm, when I get to a point where I want to be left the fuck alone, leave me the fuck alone, and that's a horrible place to be. It's not healthy for me to be in that position. As I started, balance, right, balance.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've never had balance in sobriety yet. Well, it's not, I search for it but again it is not that I don't have the power to say no. I've said no a few times, you know rarely, but the way, the way, it's just some people's balance looks different.
Speaker 1:Rob, your balance is way different than mine, because what you do, I couldn't do it. I'm too much of a selfish prick to give away as much as you give away. I couldn't do it. I'm I'm serious, and now maybe god will slap me over the head and said you're gonna do it here, you go right, I couldn't do it, I'm serious. And now maybe God will slap me over the head and said you're going to do it here, you go Right. But I don't know if I could do it, for the simple fact my balance would be jacked up. It would be. I'm just so used to it. Now Maybe you probably yeah, I mean you. You run hard and with your job, with everything you do, you run hard.
Speaker 2:Here's a question. There was a question. Steph, I showed up at the men's meeting yesterday. I hadn't seen the young lady that's going to be on our show. We were talking, right, yeah, the one. I said don't let her get away. But she had asked me she goes. Hey, I was thinking about you and I was talking about you and I said, oh, good stuff. And she was asking John and some of the men, cause I haven't, I haven't been to the Oakdale fellowship for a long time. I've been doing other stuff. She was. She was looking to see if I had taken over another meeting, cause she misses my meeting. Yeah, she wants it's a great meeting. And I said, okay then. Then what does Rob say? I said, okay, well, the next book. When the next book said he comes up, I'll take it over.
Speaker 2:Instead of shutting my fucking mouth. Sorry, you're an idiot.
Speaker 3:And we both did a dance. We were so excited. You know what, though, rob?
Speaker 2:Then John goes. Hey, rob, it comes up in December. I said, okay, then I'll put my name on there.
Speaker 1:But here's the thing, rob, here's the thing I backed away from a I did because I know I mean I have two. Right, I go to my the Saturday morning and my Monday night. Right, I spend a lot of time right here in this. This is my, my AA right here. Because when we're done with this, I got to, you know I have to edit, don't have to, I get to edit it. I get to do a lot of things involved with this. Thank God for Mary, because now Mary's doing a lot of the social media stuff, because now Mary's doing a lot of the social media stuff. So I don't do it as much, but I'm still still working on it, still talking to people.
Speaker 2:I'm still in this right here. I might, I'm consumed with this For those of you listening. Uh, december to June next year. I'll be doing Thursday night big book study and it's a great study.
Speaker 1:And you know what? Not a better person in my eyes, not a better person to do it, my eye is not a better person to do it.
Speaker 3:That's right 100%. Rob changed my sobriety journey.
Speaker 1:I mean just the way he can break it down? Yeah, 100%. You know, and I say it all the time, I absolutely am blessed that Rob agreed to do this podcast with me because he's a talent. I mean, I say this all the time I drive it, but he's the talent.
Speaker 3:I mean, there is no. I'll say it till I'm blue in the face he's, he's the talent, I'm the short talent.
Speaker 1:It was your last meeting, the one that you oh, why did you? Came in fiery that day. Oh, when he gets on a soapbox no, it wasn't even the soapbox.
Speaker 3:But he came in and he said it was right there.
Speaker 3:It was the last part of the last meeting yeah, it was exactly what I needed to hear because I was struggling, like like I told you guys with that sponsor, with that whole thing, and he said it couldn't have been better. He said and I can't remember exactly your words, but you said something along the lines of these Like, if you follow what this book says, these guys in the beginning they freaking, get in here, they get their steps done and they start helping other people and they do it quickly, like one I think you said he had like 16 days and he was doing it yeah, and so you were just like on that.
Speaker 2:You're like get these people through their fucking steps and I was like yes because there was an old guy in the back, you know, who had said something. And he says something. He says these things to the newcomers. That fucking piss me off right, and I usually don't cross share, but it was my meeting, my last day, my last five minutes, and I, I thought in my, in my opinion, I got on a soapbox but I got a little preach, but they said I didn't, it doesn't matter, you know, and one of the things you know when someone comes in like stephanie right, like and who there was another person in there and you tell them hey, for the next 30, call me for the next 30 days and go home and read.
Speaker 2:They don't need that. You read the first 164. They don't need a fucking reading lesson, no, they need some hope or they need some love.
Speaker 1:They need some action and they don't need to run errands.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, and I felt like I came in there, I felt, I personally felt, and this, this could be by me walking in those doors, I was already done with step one and two, absolutely.
Speaker 2:We worked step one out there with a bottle in our hand, you know, yeah.
Speaker 3:There's no reason for me to sit down and write seven times because I didn't write it the right way. Over step one I'm like I know I'm powerless. Let's do this shit. Let's get to the meat.
Speaker 2:Steps one, two and three are not working steps yeah.
Speaker 1:I can show you the book where it says that's page 63. Yeah, but but here's the thing. When you say that we talked about this yesterday, right?
Speaker 2:but I knew that I was powerless over alcohol.
Speaker 1:I didn't realize the unmanageability was the part that I I everything in my life was completely under under control.
Speaker 2:I hadn't everything in my life yeah, it was just.
Speaker 1:I was powerless over alcohol, right, my life was completely manageable. I hadn't. All my yets were still there, everything. Now they were slowly taken away and it was only a matter of time before the rest of that shit fell off and I don't know, thank God, when I got to the end of that sidewalk, I looked back the other direction, cause I don't know where I'd be at today. Probably dead, yeah, probably dead.
Speaker 2:Hopefully dead Because you're carrying on the alcoholic. The slow death of the cirrhosis of the liver. That's a terrible, painful way to die your pamphlet what page did you take out?
Speaker 2:Page 60. Yeah, 59, 60. Right there it says we read this every day. It's the end of you know how it works? Yeah, uh, our description of the alcoholic chapter to the agnostic and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas a that we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. Step one b probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. Step two c god could and would. He were sought. That's also step two. The next seven words say what anybody the next seven words say, being convinced. We were at step three. So the only thing necessary for steps one and two, as far as this page it's not heard, is that we are convinced of step one and two, and the only one that can answer that is you and God. And if you're convinced, we move on.
Speaker 1:I hate when you put me on the spot like that because I absolutely knew what the answer was, but I'm like you fucking freeze me up, Stop pointing at me like that, you freeze me up, hey. So yeah, the isolation, that's a big one, right? Do you feel yourself still isolating?
Speaker 3:no, absolutely not okay.
Speaker 2:No, um, you know, and it took a lot to pull out of it okay, but you are just and I don't want to say I shouldn't say you are six months sober, I'm fresh after everything you've went through. Yeah, I mean you have been through some stuff, some shit. How do you still so? Because you're one of the strongest. I mean, I love when women like you come in, because this fellowship, especially okay, young need strong not even strong women yes you know, in a certain, a certain type of strength like christy, yeah, like you, because they, they need you.
Speaker 2:How are you still so? That's why that's what I wasn't I wasn't.
Speaker 3:Those steps got me to this. Okay, I didn't come in here like that.
Speaker 1:Good for you. I didn't come in here like that.
Speaker 3:Good for you, I didn't come in here like that. Those steps and having that spiritual awakening.
Speaker 2:The first time I met you, when you first came in, you definitely had a mask on. You were bubbly and light.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh, always, always.
Speaker 2:But my With the little one in tow.
Speaker 3:Yeah, always, always.
Speaker 2:I would always put on a good face.
Speaker 3:Yeah, A good face, but my the steps removed so many voices in my head that I didn't know existed until they were gone. Right, oh wow, they removed just a. And these voices, they fucking hated me, they were the most vicious. Like and honestly, even as a young girl, like as a child, like, I remember hearing Heather.
Speaker 1:Heather said the same thing fucking things.
Speaker 3:That were just mean. You know, I've been just telling me that everyone's judging me and everyone's looking at me and I'm not good enough and I'm not pretty enough and I'm not this.
Speaker 2:Is this a female thing? You know, so we're conditioned by the media, because the media is ran by men I mean, this is what good, because this is what beauty, this is what beauty looks like, this is what, and if you don't fit this mold, well then you're less than. Is that right?
Speaker 4:You're either going to conform or you're going to hear it for the rest of your fucking life.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, or you're going to go through your 12 steps and you're going to find a confidence you've never fucking known before.
Speaker 2:Come on.
Speaker 4:And you're close to my age, and our moms dealt with things a little bit different, because our grandmothers were yeah, skirts, heels, makeup and our mom's generation was kind of just like trying to revolt back, and now ours is preparing our daughters to realize that this is unacceptable yeah, and it doesn't need to be attained right, absolutely yeah, no, I agree with that completely.
Speaker 3:my grandma was, um, yeah, that whole generation, just a whole different, a whole different time. It was like you were a housewife you stayed home, you did the things at home, you know, you did this and that, and I feel like it's just not that anymore. I don't know, I feel like I'm my. One of my biggest things that I look for, now that I actually am, take a lot of pride in. We were going over our core values in one of my IOP classes not that long ago and nonconformity is one of mine, and I didn't realize that that was one of mine until it came up and I was like I totally dig that, like because I spent my whole life trying to fit a circle into a square.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 3:And so I finally am at a place in my life where I'm like, if I'm a fucking circle, I'm a fucking circle and I'm gonna go find other circles and we're gonna be happy for you.
Speaker 1:You know we're gonna be happy, but that goes back to what you said about your high school, where you just didn't fit in in my whole life.
Speaker 3:Right, we feel no, no, no, for sure yeah and the thing is, though, but I was a chameleon oh for sure, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh absolutely anywhere I blended in anywhere but my own. I never felt comfortable in my own head. You know, I felt like I stood out, even though I probably really didn't.
Speaker 2:You know, I my head was screaming at me that I'm the odd man out here and I don't belong here and you're not you know, but I find that I mean, but I find it for me, having been around, I find it more with women than with men.
Speaker 1:This is uncomfortable and I do agree just with them because of what they're supposed to yeah I was uncomfortable I was too, but I think mine was a lot to do with immaturity, mine I didn't feel that way until about my senior year, because everybody caught up to my height, because I was six three in eighth grade. I was just so such an oddball giraffe walking around everywhere everybody. So when people and I know that sounds weird, but when I got older I felt normal because everybody was my height except for Rob.
Speaker 2:But see, but I always feel I never being five foot seven, never bothered me because I was always a great athlete.
Speaker 1:I was always popular. I mean, I was always, and then it still doesn't bother me.
Speaker 2:I mean, it doesn't, it shouldn't it doesn't.
Speaker 3:It bothers me, yeah Well but I think you hit the nail on the head. I think that you hit the nail on the head with it. It's the industry.
Speaker 1:Like the beauty industry, is a multi-billion dollar industry us.
Speaker 2:We have to look a certain type of way, so we continue to feed money into it. I'm going to tell you this and I tell my daughters the same thing me as a man, if that woman's showing confidence.
Speaker 1:I don't give a shit what she looks like one thousand percent sexy. To me that's attractive confidence. Show me confidence and I don't give a shit what the rest of it looks like you're right?
Speaker 3:no, definitely. But I always envied the one because there's girls that were like this sounds rude, but like, maybe like sixes at best, right, but they walked in there and they fucking own the place and all of a sudden they're like an eight nine.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:And I walk in and I was, I was, I was a very beautiful young girl Like you're beautiful now, honey, but I mean, but I'm saying but like when I was in, but my own like dis perception body dysmorphia and like my own shit, like I probably knocked a couple points off because I was so insecure just by the way you carried yourself.
Speaker 1:Well, absolutely. But just the way you're thinking right there about the point schedules yeah, it means you're thinking about it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and that's not healthy thinking no, no, no, that's, but that's back.
Speaker 1:I understand what she's saying I, I get it, yeah, but that's also years of conditioning right right and that's also like the beauty we were talking.
Speaker 4:You're talking about the beauty industry. Yeah, these women like these women don't even look like these women no, these are filters? These are, oh yeah, I've seen some of those.
Speaker 2:Okay, yes, because, like when, when I'm, we're gonna bring up brad, when people get hired, brad will go on, because I'm not on social media, I don't have that. He'll go on social media and look at it and be like hold on, I don't look like her. I think it was Rob, that's the filters, that's the Remain filters. Man, they can look like anything. Oh, completely Okay, but then what happens? Here's my question, ladies what happens when a man okay, whatever website you're on you go on this.
Speaker 2:She shows up, you're looking that's called being catfish there's a whole show for it okay. So when you see this down, it's like who are you? This isn't you, yeah, so what does the man think? Yeah I mean, that has to happen, doesn't it?
Speaker 1:thank god we ain't dating in this time era. There's no way no one dates short, men apparently sorry grief, good grief rob thank god, bonnie loves you somebody hey, so I'm gonna bring something else up, because doug witnessed this and it happened again flying home. But so so tsa, right when you go through tsa is like the most testing thing that I could ever fucking do in my sobriety.
Speaker 2:What do you mean?
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, the airport going through the airport is literally the most testing thing that God puts me through, and I think that's maybe why he traveled. I like God put me traveling so much because when Doug and I flew to Canada, I almost wasn't able to get on the plane because of my mouth and I almost got arrested coming home from San Diego this last trip. I already said how fucking tired I was, right, right. So you're justifying, justifying, hold on, I'm going to rationalize it here in just a second. I love it. I've been through that same airport two and three times a month.
Speaker 1:They should fucking know me by now.
Speaker 2:They should know me by now there. So there's the rationalization, right, right.
Speaker 1:Then I'm going to justify it. Here comes the justification right. I have metal in my body, son of a bitch, don't you know?
Speaker 2:I have metal inside my body I got a metal hip.
Speaker 1:Come on you got yours out of a Cracker Jack box and it's plastic?
Speaker 2:No, it went off. They couldn't find metal that small for you. It did not go off of the wrestling tournaments, but it goes off. When I went to get my passport I thought I was going to walk right through and they made me stop, take my clothes off, put a wand on there. Guy grabbed me, says what's this? I said that's not my hip. Let go my penis, sir anyway.
Speaker 1:And then you paid him and you realize you're on union and not at the, not where you're supposed to be. Yeah, it's okay, so you're coming back anyway. So they started ripping all my stuff apart out of my bags and everything. And I'm like what are you doing? And they said, well, you could, because I go, I have TSA clearance, I have T. That's why I walked through here. This is a TSA clearance line. Well, it doesn't matter, because we have to. You have metal in your body. I'm like I was just in here a week ago and nobody did this same thing and it's oh, he's tired. I was tired.
Speaker 2:It got ugly.
Speaker 1:And you know, here's the good thing about it What'd they do they? I finally shut my mouth because I saw them starting to ramp up and I was like, if I have any way of getting home, I'm going to have to shut up right now, because I was so heated Restraint of pen and tongue.
Speaker 1:I was so heated at that point. When I saw more of the TSA people starting to wander my direction, I knew right then I had to shut up because it escalated to a little bit higher standard. But it's frustrating to me that I have there's a reason why I have TSA clearance and that's to go through and get the fuck on the plane and go home, Not to be strip searched because I have metal inside my body and they couldn't figure out why the damn metal detector was going off and I said like five times I got metal inside my body so how long ago did you get metal in your body?
Speaker 3:because I feel like the metal that I got in my body doesn't set off the metal detectors. Was it a while ago?
Speaker 1:No, no, my hip was in 2022 and my back was done in 23 and yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm so surprised it sets it off.
Speaker 2:So here's the thing. Okay, the jujitsu tournaments I go to at Stockton Arena. You are the wrestling tournaments. You go through metal detectors and then they'll wand you. This hip never goes off. I went and got my passport, which is almost different detectors. Yeah, they look the same, yeah I don't know those wands barely work, though, but they, but they.
Speaker 2:Everything went off. And then I got metal on my hip, then he put the wand, he goes must be the left hip, bing, bing, bing yep, it doesn't do it at disneyland either, though when I walk through the disneyland it doesn't set them off.
Speaker 3:Yeah well, that's what I would want disney be super.
Speaker 1:When I went into Mexico, they charge you to freaking.
Speaker 3:get in and get some decent metal detector I went into Mexico.
Speaker 1:While I was in down there in Yuma this last time, or in El Centro, and I walked right through those, they never even stopped me. What'd you go to Mexico for? I went down there to eat Chinese food, bullshit. I swear to God, oh, you're a fool. I, I swear to God, oh, you're a fool. I'm just telling you everybody that works down there Hold on, let me finish, go ahead, go ahead. Everybody that works down there in El Centro works at where I work, all the best Chinese food places over in Mexicali. You got to go to Mexicali. You got to go to Mexicali.
Speaker 4:You do not walk into Wong's, because it was probably a dog or a cat.
Speaker 1:We saw dogs wandering around outside. There was no cats. That's funny.
Speaker 2:We get to isolation to eat your cats.
Speaker 1:That's funny, anything else.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I want to hear something kind of cool that I forgot to say Always. So you guys know how I ran from drug court.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right.
Speaker 3:I got in sobriety, Started to kind of want to actually get my life back together, right. So I finally decided I was like you know what. I ran from that for eight years. I didn't get it so much as a speeding ticket. I had a felony warrant for eight years. I went down to the courthouse.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's right. Okay, this is why I thought you were going to school, because you were looking at three and a half years of some time I was looking at yeah, some serious time right, Because I had skipped out on drug court.
Speaker 3:I went down to the courthouse and, long story short, they ended up dropping all charges. I'm not even on probation.
Speaker 2:It was like a Jason Allen God. Thing.
Speaker 3:It really was. I had already pled guilty, I had already taken my sentence, I had already done. It was done. It was a done deal. I should have gone straight to jail, but I ended up getting everything.
Speaker 1:Intervention, godly intervention, yeah, godly intervention. Yeah, pretty wild All right, stephanie, you're a joy. You are a joy. Keep doing your work, girl. You do awesome, Appreciate you. You appreciate you coming on here. Rob, I fucking love you. You short little midget Mary, you're amazing.
Speaker 3:Thank you guys for having me.
Speaker 1:Absolutely See. Ya, that was a good one. Thank you for joining us today, we hope you learned something today that will help you. If you did not come back next week and we'll try again.
Speaker 2:If you like what we heard, give us a five star review. If you don't like what you heard, kiss my ass. I can't say that, can you? Anyway, if you don't like what you heard, go ahead and tell us that too. We'll see what we can improve.
Speaker 1:We probably won't change nothing, but do it anyway. Hey, thanks, rob. Come back next week and hopefully something will be different and something will sink in. Take care, this has been Recovery Unfiltered. Thank you.