Sermons on the Side
Join two friends, Richard and Brad, each week as they explore the hidden messages in life's everyday moments. From personal stories to tales of family and friends, they uncover the unexpected lessons and sermons that God might be revealing. Tune in for heartfelt conversations, laughter, and meaningful insights that remind us that even in the ordinary, there’s always a deeper purpose waiting to be discovered.
Sermons on the Side
70 | Grace Looks Good On You with Special Guests: Tray & Shelley Lovvorn | Part 1
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This week on Sermons on the Side, we begin a powerful two-part conversation with Tray and Shelley Lovvorn.
For Richard, this interview is especially meaningful. Tray has been a mentor, friend, and influential voice in his recovery journey for nearly two decades. As the founder of a recovery ministry in Birmingham that helped shape Richard's early steps toward healing - and the same ministry model that continues today in Columbus (Route1520) - Tray's story is deeply woven into the fabric of Richard's own.
In Part 1, Tray shares his journey from childhood faith to personal brokenness, the consequences of sin, and the difficult road of recovery. Along the way, he offers honest reflections on what it means to be a sinner in need of grace, the challenges of rebuilding a life after failure, and the hope that can only be found in Christ.
Through every twist and turn, one truth remains: God's love never wavers, and there is still a Plan A for the Beloved Son.
This is a raw, vulnerable, and hope-filled conversation that reminds us no one is beyond the reach of redemption.
And trust us - you won't want to miss Part 2 next week, when Shelley joins the conversation to share her story and big updates from her own journey.
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Welcome to Sermons on the Side. I'm Brad. And I'm Richard. And life can move pretty fast. So we're here to slow down, dig deep, and find the story hidden in everyday moments.
SPEAKER_02With years spent in ministry, friendship, and navigating real life together, we're all about blending humor, honesty, and faith into conversations that meet you right where you are.
SPEAKER_04So whether you're brand new or you're back for more, we are so glad you are here.
SPEAKER_02So relaxed, listen in, and let's discover meaning together.
SPEAKER_04In the ordinary, the messy, and everything in between.
SPEAKER_02Sermons on the side, finding meaning in the everyday. But I I want to echo uh something that Brad said that um your your obedience over the years to uh help men in recovery uh has been was a life changer for me. You know, it's like you have uh you have a certain amount of people in your life whose impact has been so you know big, so profound, and you don't think you'll ever be able to thank them enough.
SPEAKER_01And Trey is one of those people for me. And uh so thank you. Thank you for everything.
SPEAKER_02All right, everybody, a brand new episode of Germans on the side starts right now. And I'm sitting across from the one, the only. Brad Williams doing it, sir.
SPEAKER_04I'm doing great, man. It is June, it is hot, it is summertime. And uh, man, I'm I'm really looking forward to this conversation. We've got a great one, uh, part one and part two on deck for you guys.
SPEAKER_02Come on, come on. This is another two-part interview, just like you teased out just a week or so ago. And it is with an amazing couple, Trey and Shelly Lovern. And first part is gonna we're gonna hear Trey's story, and then one week from running out, we're gonna hear Shelly's story.
SPEAKER_04Now, Trey is somebody that I have known of for quite some time, but I know that you have personally known for some time. So, who is this awesome Trey Cap?
SPEAKER_02Trey Lovern, dear friend of mine, known him for 16 years. We met when we both lived in Birmingham, Alabama, and Trey was leading a recovery ministry that was an absolute game changer in my life, in my addiction recovery journey. And uh it was the thing that once I moved to Columbus, we were able to begin that one of those groups right here. And we've been meeting for all these years.
SPEAKER_04Now, way back in 2017 or 2018, I don't exactly remember when it was, but Trey came to visit you in Columbus, and I got a chance to meet him. And uh man, so this was my second time sitting down with him in person uh to do this interview, and it's just it's so incredible to see the impact that I think that he has made in your life. Absolutely, and to see how and to experience how much you have impacted my life, and so it's just it's really, really cool to see God's faithfulness in relationships and in friendships. And man, we hope that you guys get to hear some of the incredible God stories of what's going on in Trey's life and in him and his wife's ministry, and just the things that are going on and the things that the Lord has taught Trey over the last couple of seasons of life, and you are encouraged by God's goodness and God's faithfulness.
SPEAKER_02So here is our conversation with Trey Lovern.
SPEAKER_04Dude, I am so excited right now because this is this is the most fullest room has ever been cool. It's so full. Oh, so hot in here, by the way. I'm still, and we haven't even started yet. Rhonda's in here, by the way. Hey Rhonda.
unknownHi.
SPEAKER_04But we are joined with Trey and Shelly Loverin. Dude, it is so first of all, great to see you again, sir. We were talking before we uh hit record on this. It's been like almost a whole decade since the first time you and I met to today. So, dude, welcome. It's good to be here.
SPEAKER_06Time does fly. Indeed. Good to be here. Thank y'all.
SPEAKER_02Indeed. Thank you. Thank y'all for doing you guys are all the way down here from Franklin, Tennessee. That's right. Booming metropolis. I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. That's for some reason. I still had it that you guys were coming from the West.
SPEAKER_06Well, they were they were in Bama visiting family because we landed at the farm, my family farm in East Alabama last night. So we were able to break up the trip. We did a podcast in Birmingham yesterday and then came over to the farm and then here with you guys. Got to hear Richard speak this morning. That was quite the blessing.
SPEAKER_02That's awesome.
SPEAKER_06Come on, he can bring the word.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yes, we know it. Don't we know it, listeners?
SPEAKER_02Come on, guys. Come on. Well, Trey, we have so been looking forward to this. And uh it's a real highlight to have y'all behind the mics with us.
SPEAKER_06Well, you had Michael here, so I had to like no, we're not doing the Zoom thing. We're gonna do the in-person thing.
SPEAKER_02Trey, Trey and Michael Warden, they're close. I know. Trey was the one that introduced me to Michael. Very cool. And so this is this is just wonderful. So, Trey, I just want to jump right in and ask you a little of the backstory. So, where were you born and raised, sir?
SPEAKER_06Well, I um grew up not too far from here. Um, I guess right an hour and a half uh on the Alabama side of the Alabama, Georgia line, uh Randolph County, Alabama. More cows than people in that um booming metropolis. Um I grew up on a cattle farm. Um, both my parents were educators. Um I um, even though I lived in a little town called Woodland, I don't know if anybody would know where Woodland is. Woodland, Alabama. I grew up uh literally um I could see the stadium lights uh from my backyard of my rival high school. I went north uh to a little town called Ranburn, which is another county, Cleveland County. Yeah, Ranburn right there on I-20, one of the last exits before you go into Georgia or first exit, uh almost first exit coming into Alabama. So grew up in a very small town. That's the that's the bottom line there. Yeah, everybody knew everybody. Um and my middle name trailer, which is where I get Trey, uh was my grandmother's maiden name, and then last name lover, lots of trailers and lots of loverns. And so growing up, I uh it's really impactful in my story because everybody knew who I was. And if they didn't know who I was, they heard my name and they knew where I fit because a lot of trailers and a lot of loverns. And so I learned early on uh to be a chameleon. I just needed to be what everybody needed me to be. I could quickly um at a young age kind of fill out what was expected, and then I became that. And so I learned to be a comedian. What nobody knew of my story was um that I was exposed to pornography when I was eight. And so that um, you know, now after years of recovery, I know there was a type of uh sexual abuse in that, even though nobody touched me in inappropriate ways, uh, still being um that type of content at that early of an age, pre-puberty, uh, certainly has an impact. Um, and so didn't know what to call it, but that began a strong relationship with shame uh in my life. Um nobody can really know me. I've got to hide. So I I became really, really good at hiding behind masks. Um and I could I could work those masks and go in between the masks, and you know, you know how when you do the overlays, the color, and you can put a blue over like yellow and it becomes another color and you can change it. Yeah, I I was like that with my mask. I mean, I had mask on top of mask. And and it was I I'd worn a mask for so long that when recovery started, I didn't know where the mask ended and where I began. Um, that was because that was my whole reality. It'd been, you know, it didn't matter who I was, I was whatever the situation needed me to be. And so with that exposure to pornography, and then at 15 in that small rural area, I started preaching. Um that's a whole story, won't get into um, but how that came about because I was very shy. I um took English um you know speeches, I would take zeros because I I didn't want to get up in front of of my uh peers in school, and um, so very, very shy, uh kind of hid behind athletics. Um what uh what did you play? Uh everything we had, um, which was only football, um, basketball, and um, and baseball. Uh so yeah, interesting interesting in that small town, kind of a little side note. So my dad, my brother, and I played quarterback for the same high school coach. Um so he'd been there, he'd been there a while.
SPEAKER_04I mean, when you think of like a definition of a small town, that has to be it. That's right, you know, no doubt.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, exactly. And he was a former quarterback at that same high school as well. Yeah, so my dad eventually came in. Yeah, so so you know, it started preaching then, and now I really have to have it all together because now I'm preaching and nobody can know about the secret because even though that it started at eight, it wasn't like a full-blown addiction at that time, but the pressure as it began to mount, and the best way I can tell my story is um, you know, in the summer and the games that the kids will play is they'll take a beach ball and they'll see how long they can hold it underwater.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah. Uh before it's a good thing. It's a funny game.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, because everybody knows at some point it's gonna come rushing to the surface with a tremendous amount of force.
SPEAKER_02Violent.
SPEAKER_06Yes. And so that was my whole life is you know, keeping this beach ball. Um, all these things that I was about, I'd done, the choices I'd made that I knew was wrong. And I and I'd grown up to know betters to do better. You know, I I was a present tense center in a past tense sin culture. And what I mean by that is if if you know that's can you say that again? Yeah, a present tense center in a past tense sin culture. Because if if sin was ever talked about, it was way in the past. Like you may hear a um a testimony, yeah, 45-minute testimony, 42 and a half minutes is living like the world, the heat all this, and then Lord saved me, and then everything, everything's been great since. You know, it's like, wait, uh, because I was saved at 11, and I what I didn't really understand about the gospel was I had half the gospel that God had wiped the slate clean when he saved me. But somehow I picked up this idea that now I've got to keep it clean. As a thank you to God for my justification, I had to sanctify myself, right? Instead of seeing that sanctification was also a work of God, justification I knew was he had saved me. Nothing I could do to save myself, it wasn't by works, but now as a thank you for the bloody death that Jesus had given for me, I'd better get my act together. I know better, and it's all about those imperative commands, and so that you know, and then the shame was already there. So I I describe all that the beach ball, all these things that I had I was terrified. I I never was suicidal, but I can remember having a thought, I can't imagine living with other people knowing about my secrets. And yeah, and the and the way those secrets um just there's so much energy, and as that beach ball kept got bigger and bigger, so much waking energy um just to keep it underwater, keep it under the bigger the beach ball, the more pressure you to attempt to keep it head down. Absolutely. Wow, and so that was the way I live. And I was, you know, in this repent, try harder place. Oh, you know, repent. Yeah, and then okay, Lord, bootstraps, I'm gonna do it better. Because I again it was all about the imperative commands of scripture. I'd miss the indicative, I'd miss the how, I'd miss the gospel that it had already been done for me. And and it was actually in recovery where I that all really um shifted for me because growing up believing that God had chosen me, I mean, excuse me, that I had chosen God when I was 11 years old, I got a good chooser. And why can't I not why can I not choose pornography? And that's what drove the shame because I chose God. I need to not choose this, but I kept going back to what I knew was wrong. And so it's like, what is my problem? The shame, you know, the condemnation, the accusers already bringing the the accusations. Why can't you get your act together? And then I'd preach on Sunday morning, and then the guilt of what I had been looking at the week prior, and just, but then every week, okay, this is gonna be the week. This is gonna be the week of deliverance, that finally the prayer's gonna work and he's gonna deliver me from this. And uh, and nobody knows the wiser because I thought the Christian life was having it all together, and you work on in secret those areas where you don't until you do.
SPEAKER_02I just want to know a lot of us believed that at one time. And I I just wonder if maybe even some of the things that people are hearing as they listen to your story. Yeah, I mean, I pray and hope that lights are coming on in their mind, like, whoa, maybe there is a different way, because that that is such a thing, and it still happens.
SPEAKER_06John 10 10 says he came to give us life and life more abundantly. And what I'm describing was not the abundant life. All that energy of keeping the um the beach ball underwater, um it was death, you know, and it was really the gospel of sin management. It wasn't the gospel. Wow. Uh trying to manage my sin, trying to look good for others, pleasing everybody else. Because again, I didn't, it didn't matter who I was, it was me uh making sure that I kept everybody else happy. And um so anyway, that um I came to Sanford, um, was pursuing basketball, was being recruited, and um Sanford Bulldogs. Sanford Bulldogs. Birmingham, Alabama. That's right. That's right. Uh great school. And I um landed there, uh, had an academic scholarship, was gonna walk on, and that didn't all work out. And then soon after that, while I'm at uh school, the small Baptist association, which is what I grew up in, there's a lake there in Randolph County called Lake Weedawi, and the association was gonna, they had all these Georgians coming over because of the lower property taxes, buying a lot of this beautiful lakefront property. And the associational director um he realized that these very rural southern Baptist churches are not really gonna be reaching a lot of these lake folks that are coming over here week after week. And so he had this idea to plant a church there on the water. And I was studying at Sanford Religion Major and had been a part of a contemporary approach to ministry type church there in Birmingham and had done my senior thesis on all that. So anyway, they tapped me to be pastor of this new church at 19, 20 years old. Um soon after my parents now joined the church. So at 20 years old, I'm secretly struggling with pornography that nobody on the planet knew about. Um my um parents are now a part of the church, and so I'm my parents' pastor. And um, and then I'm um also that's the year that I get married, still in school. And uh it's an hour and a half drive. So I really want to be a good pastor, but really I was just preaching every week. I mean, it and I felt didn't make much money as actually I did my taxes that first year, and I think I I I lost money with all the because of the driving and stuff. So anyway, that's that's kind of just to put in the so that was, and then I get married thinking like a lot of us that marriage was gonna fix the problem and it didn't. Uh marriage puts the problem on steroids, it doesn't fix it at all. And then the belief then is well, I'm really broken because even marriage is not fixing it. Um, there's something really fundamentally flawed with me. And so about um I forget how many years into that marriage, uh, ultimately that ended um because I began to cross lines uh and ultimately had uh one night stands, uh led to the breakup of the marriage. And that's when recovery started uh for me after I lost um my family. And um and and in getting into recovery, as I kind of alluded to earlier, that it was actually the 12 steps because when I first got into recovery, I was like, I'm gonna I'm a good doer. Give me some boxes to check. I'm gonna outwork everybody, right? And and at the time I'm I'm gonna be all state in recovery. I'm gonna outwork everybody in recovery. They're gonna be writing books about my my recovery journey. And but powerlessness I didn't know what to do with. I was like, what in the world? It's like give up. How do how do I start with by giving up? Give me something to do. Come on. But then finally, when I when I made the switch that maybe when I was 11, God chose me instead of me choosing God. That's when everything began uh to fall into place that that I could admit powerlessness. And then passages of the Apostle Paul began to make more sense because I didn't know what to do. What do you do with boasting and weakness? I'd never, again, I was a past tense sinner in a present tense sin culture. What I mean by that is if sin was ever talked about, it was way in the past. Yeah, and then I thought, well, maybe it's rolling, you know, stop, you know, stops through a stop sign, or maybe a little gossip here and there that that's what they're talking about. But I'm a big sinner, you know, nobody's talking about any kind of big sin in the in the present, right? Right. And so I'm just looking for the secret. How did everybody else fix this? Because I I need some of that. Um, so but coming to recovery and and now thinking about okay, it is about um powerlessness that I could admit power, I can I begin to lead with weakness, people can actually know me. And then came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. I was an orphan, my spirituality was orphan spirituality. It was me showing God what I could do for him as an orphan. But it was him over there watching, kind of like a coach looking over his glasses with a clipboard, and now I'm tap dancing for his approval rather than resting in the identity that was mine in the finished work of Christ. And so I stepped out of that orphan place and began to understand wow, he does value me, he does love me. As a matter of fact, the reason Jesus came is because he knew I couldn't get back together. Um, and I realized now, looking back at the way I was doing what the Christianity that I was practicing did not require a savior. Um Jesus didn't have to die because if I could manage sin on my own, I didn't need a savior. And frankly, that's probably what I wanted. I wanted to show God how I could be my own savior, yeah, as if that was what he was expecting of me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and we really felt like that would please him.
SPEAKER_06Exactly. Yeah, like like he's got some, yeah, like I can remember even thinking, um, God's gonna be so proud of me today because I it's just gonna be a little quick check-in, because he's got some big problems in the Middle East, and so he can just do a little, oh thank you, Trey. You freed up some time so I can I can like like I needed to do that for God, right? Um, but that's kind of how I saw it, this transactional kind of thing when I realized after recovery started, no, he was pursuing my heart that I didn't know grace. Um, I was stingy with grace because again, if I give you grace and you abuse it, then that's back on me. I gotta, I gotta, I gotta make sure that you're gonna you're gonna do the right thing before I give you grace. And if there's some guaranteed outcome, maybe I'll give you a little grace. Uh, because that's the way I was doing myself. And so the the prodigal story in Luke 15, which is ultimately what you know named the ministry around uh root 1520. Um I I could relate to both brothers because I rebelled by being very good publicly out front, like the elder brother, and I rebelled privately like the elder brother, I mean, like the prodigal. Yeah, um, but both brothers missed the heart of the father. Right. Uh right. Both were were tap dancing for approval and performance. Um so yeah, so then you know, recovery began. I began to really understand the real gospel. Um, Hotelberg Catechisms, which I know is part of Route 1520, uh, question one, question two, question 21, question 60, and just really began to understand wow, I am his beloved. Grace is amazing because Grace was never amazing when I thought I was the first-round draft choice for the kingdom. Grace only became amazing when I saw my desperate need for it.
SPEAKER_04So that I just I want to double-click on that because Trey, everything that you're saying right now, I'm I know Richard and I, but even all of our listeners in some capacity can identify with that rock bottom moment, yeah, with that moment where our understanding of the gospel is in conflict with our living out the gospel in our own life. And I love how you phrased that. I I had this half cup full of gospelness, you know. And and if this reminds any of our listeners of episode 35 with our conversation with Michael Warden, there was, as you were telling the beginning of your story, Trey, I heard Michael just in the background of this conversation say, Behind the masks, you were talking about masks, behind the masks is a wounded man, and behind the wounded man is a wounded boy. That's right. And the Lord wants to speak not to our actions and not to the things that we do, he wants to speak directly to our heart. Right. And this ministry that emerged out of this time of your life, I'm gonna get I'm gonna try so hard not to be emotional about it. But um it it's it's been such an incredible thing to have been able to say that I met Trey 10 years ago, even if it was briefly in the upstairs of that two-story house. Uh but the work that you started, that the that the Lord started through your obedience in Birmingham, which is originally how you and Richard got connected. That's right. And then the Lord led Richard to Columbus, and then the Lord has really just intersected Richard and I's path. That's right. Um can you just tell us a little bit about you mentioned Route 1520. Tell us about how this ministry came apart and maybe maybe even those first few years of of interacting with Richard. We want all the back of the Richard stories. I was trying to edit out. It's embarrassing.
SPEAKER_06No, that's right. He does the editing. That's right. No, so I um I talked about losing my marriage. Um, after six years of being divorced, um, there was a reconciliation, um, came back together. And it was out of that reconciliation that um wasn't I was looking to do a ministry, um, but there were so many people being referred to us. I mean, pornography obviously is a is a an epidemic um uh in culture, especially even Christian culture. And um, and so yeah, so you know, we started a ministry in 2010. Um, dear brother, who's now uh with the Lord, Dana Stoddard. Um, we were I'd landed at a PCA church there in Birmingham, and um he taught me everything I know about running a small group and uh running a recovery group. He drove uh for about eight months, um, three hours round trip from Chattanooga, Tennessee to Birmingham every Monday night. And and his his whole deal, I love Dana to death, miss him. Uh, but he was he had been discipled by Jack Miller. Um uh Jack Miller uh wrote the curriculum Sonship, which I didn't realize. Dana was discipling me into Sonship. Um I had no idea that he had been discipled by Jack Miller. Um Paul Miller, Jack Miller's son, wrote A Praying Life, and um and crazy enough, um met his daughter Barbara Juliana, Giuliani that met that they wrote um Comeback Barbara, um, which is her prodigal story she wrote with her dad. But Dana um he had a philosophy of of doing group, and this is what we tried to do with root 1520. He says, I plunge the group into total darkness and look for and pray for the light.
SPEAKER_05Wow.
SPEAKER_06And and he taught me how to be a facilitator and not a small group leader, because that's a very different thing in recovery. And a lot of churches would go into they would want to make it a Bible study or some type of group-led or or group leader-led thing. And so we were very uh, you know, we just wanted to be uh facilitator-led and guys that were just leading with a limp that were not, they were facilitating, they were there in their own brokenness, right? Not look, I've got it together. And and that was always something. Yeah, because when I yeah, when I first got into recovery, I was still hiding in plain, plain sight in some ways, you know, because you know, I was gonna just this would be another mask, you know. This this is how I fixed it with recovery. Um, and so yeah, that the ministry came out of that. Um, and just put the you know, that all, you know, we had a podcast, um, my ex-wife now and I. And so we we had that ministry, it was called Undone Redone, and um did a lot of speaking and all that. But in April of 21, um she decided she wanted to be single again. I still don't know I'll ever fully understand kind of what was going on. Um, you know, and I I say uh I've told Shelly this, I've told others, um, that I I was really angry at God as a son. He certainly wasn't happy with a lot of the things that I was doing, but I didn't, it wasn't like I shrunk back into the shadows necessarily. It was just like I was I was just kind of shaking my fist at him, uh in a sense. And but um in his goodness and yet another testimony to his amazing grace, he did it's like he was he's so good, and grace is so amazing that even when I was in that season, and I I call it the angry season and all that, that Shelly and I, you know, we we crossed paths and you know, we started having these deep theological conversations 10 hours apart. She was in Orlando, I'm in Tennessee, and and I thought frankly, I was like, I didn't know women like this existed who who were beautiful and loved Jesus and and had this deep theological understanding. And and what those conversations began to do is it began to draw out what was there in my heart. The all this this gospel foundation that was there, yeah, and and little by little um just began to to come back and you know, and just took a while with the anger and stuff, but but I think you know, I know that uh Shelly was a big a big piece of that um in bringing me back on that journey and just the reminder because she was going through her own stuff and some of the conversations we were having, but it was it was a hard, hard time. And um, but anyway, my goodness.
SPEAKER_00Well, I remember one of the early questions that I asked you was, are you even interested in being married again? You know, yeah, based on all of that. And uh you said, Oh, absolutely, yes.
SPEAKER_06Yes. Well, I never was I never blame marriage for what happened. Right. You know, I mean, and I I wanted to be married. It was um again, I never fully understand maybe what happened exactly. I have my I've had some a lot of in this in this line of work, I've got a lot of friends, good friends who are therapists. So I've had I've got a lot of uh free insight from a lot of them who had a front row seat on that whole thing. So some some good insight on what was going on.
SPEAKER_02Well, one of the things I uh am amazed by as you so openly share this this these parts of your story is where you were looking at God and genuinely asking the question, why would it wasn't even a why did this happen to me, you know, like the classic why God. But it was more why did did the reconciliation happen if it wasn't going to be forever, if it was going to blow up again? And that's just such a uh an honest uh th question that you were asking God, but I appreciate you sharing it here. And in that moment, my question is how do you proceed? How do you uh hopefully heal up when such a critical question mark still remains?
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_02How how are you s navigating that?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it's um I I think about you know our embark intensive, right? Um Richard knows about that. It was a four-day intensive we did uh through Route 1520. And um the first talk I would give in the large group at that intensive was called This is Plan A. Because we believe in our shame that we've messed up plan A. Correct. And we've got to hopefully work our way back to plan A. And um, and I would like again, I'd love to say that I just, oh, this is plan A, no big deal, you know, uh when all that was going down. But I think having to remind myself that um, one, okay, I was never guaranteed not having another season of pain. Because that was my big thing. It's like, listen, I know healing's on the other side of pain, but I've already been through my season. I got the t-shirt, I got the the certificate, you know, it's been double stamped, and and but to have to go back through um that type of public in a lot of ways, humiliation and all the the things, but um it didn't make sense. Um but I I but I can say now, I um there's you know, there's so many stories of scripture that I used to read scripture that it was just a um kind of a Cloroxed book, but everything is so pristine and neat, and you know, and even some of the hard stuff you would read, it's like, oh, but that probably didn't mean that, you know. I mean, but there's think about scripture, all these stories that are just raw and real, and it's like, oh my goodness. And and you're like, but somehow I thought I was gonna escape all that, you know, and I think it it brings to the surface this idea that if I just do the good things, good things are gonna happen. Uh, that that type of theology, and man, but what do you do with Job? What do you do with with Joseph of the Old Testament who did the right thing? And oh, here's your parting gift 14 years in prison. But guess what? Plan A was God wanted him to be second in command over all of Egypt. That's it. But he just took a little detour. And but think about at year eight and a half, sitting in that jail cell, you know, or when he was looking up at his brothers who he didn't know if he's gonna live through the day, and he's now disappearing with the Ishmaelites, his homeland disappearing on the horizon. Oh, this is no big deal. I'm gonna be second in command over all of Egypt one day. You know, no, it's so so long answered your question. I think um now seeing the the ebbs and flows of my story, and and really it's all of our story, right? And and I think we we have these ups and downs in what the accuser does back in the back in the garden, it's the same lie. Did God really say? Yeah, you know he's not really good, he's holding out on you. And I think that really boils down, that is the core lie of everything he comes at us with. And I can certainly relate to that. Yes, you know, this is not a good story. Yeah, God, you know, you were you were duped into telling everybody that he's writing a good story. You know, it was good up until this point, you know, as if I'm the you know, I'm the one who gets to dictate who what's a good story or not, right? God says it's a good story.
SPEAKER_02And if I can interject, I was the guy that was hearing Trey say God's writing a good story. And I was just out of divorce, and I was barely hanging on, and so many question marks, and I'm hearing him say that, and those words, among others, that you shared along the way were lifelines for me. And it moves me and very deeply that uh even when you had to go uh through another traumatic seismic upheaval, that the Lord kept you and that you are still uh saying and believing that. It means the world.
SPEAKER_04I just years ago, I'm gonna give you the short version of the story. I was on staff at a pretty large church, and one of the very first events that we did, we we somehow got this really big name preacher to come do this big like worship night. I mean, he was bringing his own team, they were gonna set the whole stage, blah, blah, blah. I thought they were doing the marketing for the event. They apparently we were long story short, they come here with like a team of a hundred people. They load in, they set up for hours. No lie. There's like 50 people that show up. Wow. It was the most embarrassing moment that I've I mean, I was so I did not want to go talk to this guy afterwards. I was so embarrassed. I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I mean, I you talk about you know, all the emotions. Yeah. And sure enough, the event ends, and you know, he's so gracious to like talk to the 50 people that showed up like one-on-one. And, you know, it's about the time that he's leaving, and I just walk over to the guy and and I shake his hand, and I'm just immediately apologetic. I'm just I'm so sorry about, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I think he can tell kind of where I'm coming from. And he turned and he pointed to a lady that was about to walk out the front door. And as he was talking to me, she didn't, you know, he was like, Do you know who that lady is? And I I turned and looked, and I did not recognize the lady. And he told me her name, and he said that she just drove here from Opalika. She happened to hear it on one of like the last radio things that we put out when we realized that nobody was coming to this thing. She came tonight on a whim and she gave her heart to Jesus. And he turned and he looked at me and he said, I would do this night over and over again for that one soul. That's right. And brother, I just there's so much of all of our stories, regardless of where you're at, there's so much of every single listener's story that doesn't make sense. At the end of the day, we go, I I just if I'm God, I'm doing that differently. Yeah. And Isaiah 42, 16, one of the most impactful verses for me in the last several years, Jesus is declaring this over the nation of Israel as I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know. I will turn the rough patches before them into smooth ground. These are the things that I will do, declares the Lord. And I think about I think about all the men and the women and the marriages that have been impacted as a result of this really big question mark that you're submitting to us that hey, that's a I don't understand it. And yet, in one of the readings that we do every Tuesday, Tuesday night for us, by the way, in the promises is no matter how far down the scale I've gone, I can see how my story can benefit others. That's right. And um and brother, I'm just I we hurt with you, but we recognize that God is all over your story. That's right. And I know that as our listeners are listening to this, this is a part one of two. You know, we've got a little teaser. And so, Shelly, in this next episode, we're gonna dive into this that this new ministry, this new sort of calling on on your marriage as it relates to is it stewarding scars?
SPEAKER_07Yes.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, and then we um it's it's has been, as I share, just a gift, you know, just really as a an understanding of God, you you were there, yeah, you were there all along. And and I think just uh a she's taught me a lot. Um, she just wrote something recently about Stewarding Scars and and just the the dots that she connected, and and um I think just the gift um that she has both in writing but also just that understanding because of what she's been through with her own story um as well.
SPEAKER_02So it's gonna be we look forward to part two of this special interview. And as we wrap up uh this part, uh part one, uh Trey, it is uh it is we're gonna do a little something, a fun little something here. But I I want to echo uh something that Brad said that um uh your your obedience over the years to uh help men in recovery uh has been was a life changer for me. You know, it's like you have uh you have a certain amount of people in your life whose impact has been so you know big, so profound, and you don't think you'll ever be able to thank them enough.
SPEAKER_01And Trey is one of those people for me. And uh so thank you.
SPEAKER_02Thank you for everything. And and I believe just by the way, I I view things, everything going on in my life now, everything going on with Route 1520 of Columbus, Georgia, which we've been doing now for almost 17 years. Um, I'm sorry, almost 14 years. Um, but none of this happens without Trey in my story.
SPEAKER_03That's right.
SPEAKER_02I I don't think and I don't I don't even know if these people are sitting around this table.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02If it weren't for what God has done through Trey's life.
SPEAKER_04I don't know if we have the relationship with what we do. Right? I don't know if we've got this podcast. Right. You know, you think about the cascading effect that that God can use our faithfulness. That's right. And you talk about a takeaway that we can all have right here.
SPEAKER_01Come on.
SPEAKER_04Is that we don't we're not promised the effects of our obedience. We're just promised that our obedience matters. Yeah, you know?
SPEAKER_06Well, and I think back to that stewarding scars, that's the whole thing, is all those years that I was covering up brokenness, covering up scars, leading with strength, nobody could relate to that guy. If anything, that was just causing more shame because they were comparing their worst with that highlight reel that I was putting out there. But when we begin to lead with a limp, we begin to put our brokenness out there. That's what people can relate to. And and we can all, and this is really the collective recovery, it's it's a me too moment, you know, that we can say me too. And because the enemy is the accuser of our soul, and he's not very clever in some ways because he's got one lie. And the reason that one lie works is because we're not comparing notes, we're not comparing stories. We're all believing that we're the only one and we can't tell anybody. And so the power of community and what you guys have experienced in recovery is when we begin to tell the truth in a safe environment, in that container, that's where the magic happens. And and Richard, even hearing you, um, this is the second time I've heard you speak, it was about 12, 13 years ago, I guess, the last time in Birmingham. Um, Liberty, is that where you are? Yeah, Liberty Church Birmingham. Um, but your anointing and hearing you today, and that was a message I needed to hear about anxiety. And um, and so I think that's the stewardship of scars. Now we're gonna talk about that more in in part two, but I just encourage, you know, whatever we're trying to cover up, I found in God's economy that's what he's trying to expose. Right. Right. You know, the first shall be last, the last shall be first, and it's like everything, it's an upside-down kingdom.
SPEAKER_00And not to shame us, exactly, right, right. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_06Thank you, Lord. Yeah, just to bring into the light the things that you know as uh what is it? Steve Brown says all the time, demons die in the light. And yeah. So anyway, we're looking forward to part two. Wonderful. Let Shelly talk for that.
SPEAKER_02Wonderful. Well, listen, we do it wrap this uh part one with uh a special little something, rapid-fire questions that I'm gonna throw at you, and you have to answer. We call it no huddle. Okay, meaning you don't have time to draw up a play. You just gotta read it.
SPEAKER_06Do I have uh the coach in my headset? Or no coach is mute, coach is mute, no timeouts, 20 seconds on the clock.
SPEAKER_02Let's go. That's right. And uh Shelly gets to hear these questions now and be prepared for later. So it's no way around it. All right, so this is it. Are you ready? It's the scouting report thing for the game, too. Okay, Trey Lovern, what's the worst job you ever had?
SPEAKER_06Um, probably running a Dairy Queen. Um, that and cleaning the city pool when I was a kid. Whoa. Yeah, so those those two.
SPEAKER_02Um look, I'm I'm gonna go in with the cleaning the pool. I'm I'm just saying, I don't know. Okay.
SPEAKER_06Dairy Queen's good food now.
SPEAKER_02But running there you go. Uh yeah. All right. So second question is a Bible character question.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_02And the only rule is you can't you can't answer by saying Jesus. Okay.
SPEAKER_06The only situation He's the only character we cannot say. That's right.
SPEAKER_02The only time in your life where Jesus is not the answer. Okay. Okay. So what is a Bible character that particularly resonates with you?
SPEAKER_06Joseph, Old Testament.
unknownDude.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. You referenced that before. I I did. And I think because, yeah, it's um anytime I want to have a pity party, which is um you know a lot at times, and I um it's like God gently reminds me of Joseph that he did the right thing and got 14 years in prison. And so who am I to think that I'm supposed to do the right thing and get something different? Right. Great question. Great question.
SPEAKER_04I'm watching I'm watching that old Pixar movie soon. I'm telling you, I think we're gonna have to go back to that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02All right, uh, Trey Lovern, uh, the world needs to know. Cat person or dog person?
SPEAKER_06You know, I probably more dog, but I don't mind cats. I own the cat for a while. I have a cat named Spartacus and then a cat named O. C, outdoor cat.
SPEAKER_02Okay, look. Oh, is it literally the name of the cat?
SPEAKER_06And the cat came with it. And um that name it was a male cat in the name like Camellia. I knew I had to change the name, so I called it O. C until I could come up with a name, and I just never did, so it could say OC outdoor cat. Because Sparticus was an indoor camel.
SPEAKER_02Well that's what I'm saying. We need to key on the look. If you're gonna if I'm a dog person, but if you're gonna have a cat, name is Articus or Maximus or something like that. Okay. Uh moving along. If uh and we're talking about uh this question is about like uh comic book characters or maybe the superhero movies, if you could have a superpower, what would you choose?
SPEAKER_06Ooh, that's a good one. Uh superpower.
SPEAKER_02I mean, like if tonight you fell into a vat of uh of toxic waste and you came out, what power did you hope that that yeah no?
SPEAKER_06That's the thing. Let's be flash. I'll go speed, flash score. Yeah. Nice. Like that.
SPEAKER_02Okay, final question.
SPEAKER_06Maybe because I wasn't there very fast. I was a slow white guy on the football.
SPEAKER_02You had the the running, you know, we're running threat as a quarterback. There you go. Okay, final question. And uh, I need you to imagine that one day uh one or or even all of your children are together and they're being interviewed by somebody, and somebody said, Tell us about your dad. What is something that you hope they would mention?
SPEAKER_06Oh, that would hit. I would hope they would say Grace looked good on him.
SPEAKER_02Okay, all right, and I believe they will. Thank you. Thank you for that. Thank you, Trey. Thank you for uh Shelly for chiming in, and we look forward to our conversation continuing with uh part two with hearing from Shelly some more. Man, man, man. That was just, man, that was chock full of so much good truth and just their heart. It was Trey's heart coming out.
SPEAKER_04And I'm gonna tell you this right now. I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm gonna have to listen to this twice. I know I'm probably already gonna listen to it twice and everything, but I'm just letting you know. I'm gonna be listening to it three times. There's so much truth. And I told you, I told you at the beginning of this episode. Yeah, you did. I saw, I can see the themes of what he meant to you in different times and what you mean to me now. Bro, it's so cool to see God's faithfulness shine through those relationships and those meaningful times. So, man, just uh incredible.
SPEAKER_02And I gotta say, we really look forward to everyone being able to hear the conversation with Shelly. Yeah, because God's speaking a lot through her, and she has impact in a lot of people's lives as well. And so it's gonna be a really cool episode. Can't wait for you guys to hear it.
SPEAKER_04Yep. So if you guys enjoyed this conversation with Trey, be sure to come back and listen to next week's episode with Shelly. It's gonna be awesome. Man, we hope you guys have a great weekend. Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Sermons on the Side.