Her First: Reinventing What it Means to be a High-Achieving Woman

Personal Power Part Two: Long Term Growth Strategies

Michelle Pualani & Joanna Newton

We dive deeper into the concept of personal power and how to sustain it over time. Building on a previous episode that covered the basics of reclaiming personal power, today's discussion focuses on the continuous process of maintaining alignment, overcoming setbacks, and leveraging both intuition and analytical data for long-term success. We explore practical strategies for self-care, productivity, and creating supportive environments, aiming to help high-achieving women stay empowered in both their personal and professional lives.


Time Stamps:

01:15 Recap of Personal Power Part One

02:58 Continuing the Journey of Personal Power

03:43 Long-Term Growth Strategies

03:55 Maintaining Alignment in Business and Personal Life

04:40 Overcoming Setbacks and Challenges

06:34 Sustaining Personal Power Over Time

13:24 The Importance of Perspective

26:23 Creating a Supportive Environment

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Episode 065: Personal Power Part Two
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[00:00:00] 

Michelle Pualani: So there is a delicate balance between analytics, metrics, doing the research, like figuring out some of those technical details, while also being inspired by your intuition and making decisions based on kind of that internal compass and narrative, as opposed to listening to all of the Chatter that can be out in the world because that will also pull us and all these different directions and we're essentially giving away our personal power by Leaning into oh, but this coach told me this.

Oh, I watched this webinar and they have this tactic Oh this strategy came up on my feet Oh, I got this newsletter and they're talking about this thing and then how many different directions are you going and you're being pulled in all? These different ways and then nothing's You Working out or you're starting to spread yourself too thin.

What does that mean? That's a representation of you losing your personal power and how you're showing up with your time your attention and your energy

[00:01:00] 

Michelle Pualani: Hello, and welcome back to the Her First Podcast, where we discuss high achieving women, their successes, their failures and struggles, and how we can all extract lessons that are important to take for us as business owners, entrepreneurs, coaches, and creators. Today, we are actually doing a part two to personal power.

So we have recorded one episode that was a really great foundation for personal power, what it means. How it's important and why you should start thinking about it if you're showing up, especially in the online space, the digital space and reclaiming that. So part one was all about the connection between personal growth and business success.

Why personal growth is critical to your business success as you grow, as you expand, as you scale. We really identified what personal power was and how to reclaim it if you feel like you've lost it. A lot of times when you feel like you've lost your personal power, it feels like you're compromising, it feels like you're sacrificing, it feels like you don't own your schedule, your time, your energy anymore, and [00:02:00] so how and why you need to get that back.

We talked a little bit about overcoming limiting beliefs, how those show up in our lives, even if we're not aware of them, how they're unconscious, but they're dictating how we're executing or if we're procrastinating or if we're putting something off or not seizing certain opportunities and putting ourselves out there to get that podcast interview, to speak on stage, to have that collaborative piece of content, that might be a limiting belief that's holding you back from that.

We talked about the power of connection and how important it is to be able to connect with people. Peers with mentors, with guides, with people in your community in a big way and how that really helps with not just obtaining presence in what you're doing, but also reclaiming that personal power. And then we gave you a lot of practical tools and exercises for empowerment.

So go back if you haven't yet, that's part one. Reclaim your power, how to overcome business plateaus and stay consistent. So go check that out if you haven't yet. And today in [00:03:00] part two, as this work is really never finished, we're going to continue talking about personal power, but more on an in depth level, more about how to So we're not covering the basics.

You can go back, listen to part one for that. Today is all about keeping that personal power going because it's not like a one and done situation, right? You don't just like do it all, figure it out, cross it off the list. You wake up, you got personal power and you're good forever. No, we encounter things that we have.

In our lives, as challenges, as setbacks, as experiences that start to detract from our energy, our time, where our focus is. And so we want to always be able to kind of pull ourselves back to center to get that personal power back and feel really in charge of what we're doing and how we're showing up.

We're going to talk about more long term growth strategies. So not just what can you do in the moment, but how can you think about differently for the next year, the next three years, the next 10 years of your growth, of your success, of your accomplishments. We're going to talk today about maintaining alignment in business and personal life.

So, [00:04:00] so often as business owners, this is like the number one thing that I hear from entrepreneurs, business owners, content creators, and people who are showing up in the digital space is often this kind of 24 seven, I've got work. I've got all these things going on. I've got to show up, but I'm being pulled in this direction and that direction.

And I've got my personal life and I'm not taking care of myself. And so we're going to talk about how to really maintain alignment between the two things stay tuned because you're going to get a really good feel for how you can continue to take care of yourself, how you can feel feel that personal power again in your business and in your personal life and how you're going to be able to implement this for the next five years, 10 years, hopefully 30 years down the road.

Joanna Newton: And if you're listening and you're the kind of person who has seen some success in your business, in your career, ever felt like you got stuck, right? You, you're not achieving a certain level of success. You're looking at other people thinking, why are there, why are they there? And I'm here. And [00:05:00] you've looked externally, you've looked at your tactics, you've looked at your strategy, you've looked at. the outside environment to try to think about why you're not getting to the next level and are having a hard time coming up with answers. This is a really good time for you to be digging into your personal power, your limiting beliefs, and see how, you know, potentially your mindset or leaning into that power could help you get to that next level for you.

Michelle Pualani: For Joanna and I, we have talked about this before and it comes up a lot on the podcast. For me personally. I felt like I was like knocking everything off the list. Like I was tasking like no other. I was checking all the boxes. I was doing all the things, but I was also really compromised in time and energy.

And so it felt like I was always meeting everybody else's needs. I was sacrificing in order to make sure that they were taken care of. I was giving of myself in so many ways. And it just felt like I had burnt out that I had hit a [00:06:00] wall that I couldn't figure out how to grow, that I couldn't figure out how to get to the next level, the next step.

It just felt like I was in this very stagnant place where my schedule was always overrun. And it took a lot of the tactics that we talk about in personal development, personal growth, in order to what we call reclaiming your personal power, to draw that power back into yourself so that you are setting up clear boundaries so that you are, owning your schedule, owning your time and making sure that you're putting your time, attention, focus, and energy on what you want, which is like the most important thing.

So let's go ahead and start with sustaining personal power over time. Yes, you may have it today. Maybe you've been working on it. You've got it this week, but what happens when you get a really big no or disappointing, like, you know, Let down from an opportunity that you would pitch yourself for. What about when your sister calls you to watch the kids and you feel guilty and ashamed about not taking them because they're your niece and nephew, real story, [00:07:00] things like that.

What about when you're putting yourself out in your content and you get some harsh criticism or some negative comments because you actually spoke your opinion for the first time. And there was some backlash. There are going to be things that we encounter that. Are going to feel like setbacks that are going to kind of knock us off that really excited, really confident, full fledged, powerful path.

And that's natural and normal. And I think the important thing to note here is it's going to be a part of your process. Okay. It's going to be a part of what you're going through and knowing that you're not alone in that, that if you quote unquote falter, that if you quote unquote fall back, that if you're not the same confidence level as yesterday, It's absolutely normal.

I go through it. Joanna goes through it. We all experience ups and downs, ebbs and flows, okay? All of our prominent leaders, all of our successful celebrities, we all have seasons, we all have difficulties, we all have challenges that we face. So knowing that it is completely normal is important because what I don't [00:08:00] want you to do is to start internalize.

So when you face these setbacks and these challenges, a lot of times we turn. Internally, So instead of looking factually at the situation, instead of looking at the circumstances and realizing, Oh, this is normal. This happens to other people. It's okay. I can adjust in this way. What do we do? I can't believe that happened.

I must not be good enough. I'm not ready for this. I guess I don't have the experience. I was so bad at that. That wasn't my best work. We start to knock ourselves down, which then turns into this little spiral and then it sets us way further back than the thing that actually happened. was meant to do in the first place, So we have to realize that it's kind of a continuous process, and that's okay. Just knowing that it's not like you're going to go to the gym once and have a six pack. You're going to continue to work it like a muscle. You're going to continue to do exercises, strategies, tactics. You're going to continue to apply these over time, and they might have to change.

Mindfulness and meditation might work for some [00:09:00] time. Yoga might work for some time. Journal writing. might work for some time. Your gratitude practice might work for some time, and then it might not, and you might have to shift and change and adjust, and that's okay. So a lot of times we fall back into old habits.

Habits are not something that are created in 21 days. I think that is a huge fallacy, and most people get stuck in oh, I should be able to do this by this time, and I should be able to be okay with this. But it's really easy for us to fall back into our comfort zone, to fall back into the way in which we were before quote unquote, we felt that change or we felt that shift or before we stepped into that place of personal power.

some of the reasons that we fall back are because of safety wanting to feel comfortable. Our brain is really programmed and wired to keep us safe. And if we're doing things like we're pitching that podcast that we're not sure if we're qualified or experienced enough to be on, if we're trying to get on stage at a certain event and we put ourselves out there, if we create a piece [00:10:00] of content that we feel like is putting ourselves out there in a vulnerable way, We're essentially opening ourselves up to being criticized, being judged, having some sense of like failure in what you're doing, and your brain is going to respond in this way to keep you safe.

And so it's going to pull you back into the ways of thinking, the ways of being, and the ways of acting that you have done in the past that have kept you safe, that have kept you in that place. And even though that be a place of stagnation and status quo, it's still a place of safety. And so you have to recognize that that might be one of the reasons that's pulling you back, and that you have to kind of keep pushing through and use the tactics and the strategies to continue to kind of get you out of that place.

So some of those strategies look like your daily rituals and practices, whether that's journaling, breathing, breath work. Gratitude, yoga, the other thing outside of like that self care would be productivity, time management, being more effective with your [00:11:00] strategies in terms of how you're investing your energy and always being able to reassess that.

So always going back to the drawing board. What does my schedule look like this week? How am I showing up? Am I implementing the boundaries that I'm meant to be implementing? And how is that actually taking form in the life that I'm creating? Does it align with what I want or not?

Joanna Newton: with creating boundaries, there's a whole thing around Saying no, right? Like learning how to say no. And I think it's, um, I don't know if it's Mary Kate or Ashley Olsen or both of them who have the quote, saying no is a complete sentence and I've had a hard time saying no and saying yes to everything is something that like depletes you of your power. And I can think of some times in my life when I've said no, Where it felt so empowering, I had a job, when I was in college. it was like the end of the summer. And I was, I was just working there for the summer. And I realized that I had no time left to enjoy my summer [00:12:00] and before my classes started back up again. And I was really stressed. I was like, they scheduled me the entire week. I really need a week off before I start classes. I wasn't planning on working them in the fall anyway. And so I quit with like no notice. And I said, Hey, I'm not coming in next week. They were not happy with me. You probably should give notice.

I'm not saying you should like, just not give notice. You should give notice. To employers. But in that moment, that was the decision I needed to make. And saying no in that moment gave me so much peace. And sometimes you have to make what like on the outside looks like a bad decision. If it's right for you.

I weighed out the pros and cons. I was like, I never want to work for these people again anyway. there's plenty of employees. They are going to figure it out. If I them off, they were going to fire me in a heartbeat. it was going to be fine. And it's not like anyone's come back to me and not giving me a job because of that [00:13:00] one time I quit with no notice.

you need to weigh the pros and cons, I just remember the relief, the control I felt and it felt so good to say, no, I'm not going to do that. Especially being someone whom so much of my life has been saying yes to things I don't want to do because other people want. Me to do them is a lot of power in learning how to say no and setting those boundaries for yourself.

Michelle Pualani: Perspective is huge here, and I want you to start to think about perspective in everything that you do. So when we look at setbacks and failures, It's a matter of perspective and how you navigate and see respond to your setbacks and failures is such an important and critical role of personal growth, development, and how you reclaim your personal power.

If you look at a lot of stories of our successful entrepreneurs, founders, business owners, like let's take a Whitney Wolf Hurd from Bumble, for example. So if you don't know any of her backstory, she actually [00:14:00] started and co founded. Tinder had some issues with one of the males within that company left and there was a period of time where she actually didn't feel comfortable leaving her home.

Then she came up with the idea of Bumble. She created that app and when it reached IPO, when it was sold. made public and had a valuation of 14 billion at the age of 31. She was the youngest self made billionaire as a woman that we've seen.

Perspective is everything. I know that in the moment it can feel hard and challenging. I was just talking to my therapist about this and this is what I'm trying to do with my current circumstance we have so much going for us that we don't acknowledge, don't recognize. I was given the opportunity to be a finalist in a pitch competition in New York that I'm flying out here for very soon.

We have big things going on in our lives and successes that we tend not to acknowledge because we are programmed and kind of wired to focus on the negative. It's really a sense of warning or foreboding to again, keep us safe [00:15:00] in such a big way. So the way that you look at your setbacks and your failures is an important part of it.

Moving forward and knowing that they are a part of the process. It doesn't make it any easier to navigate them No, you're still gonna have the emotion you're gonna have that sense of feeling that comes along with that But the more that you can put it in perspective and know that it is something that is going to pass that you are gonna Get through and that we all go through them is such an important part of that So it's important to reframe your setbacks.

It's important to think about Not just as opportunities of growth and oh, there's silver lining, but they're a part of your path. You don't have to see the positives in them, but you can recognize them for what they are, and you know that there's something on the other side. You know that there's something that you're going to do, maybe because of this, maybe in spite of this, maybe just because this You did it and you would have done it in any other situation.

It doesn't really matter, but it's all a part of what you're going through. And it's just a part of your story. It's not what defines you. And it's not what they're [00:16:00] going to write on your tombstone. it's not the end of the world that we typically think that it is and that we make about ourselves. So being able to kind of step back and see things in perspective is such an important part of this process.

you know, just as a personal example for me is. I really thought when I was in business and launching for the first time and doing everything else, I always made it about me and about who I was and how I was showing up. Like it felt like something about me was broken or wrong that I didn't have what I needed to in order to be successful when I should have looked at the metrics and created the perspective and moved forward with a more like reframed mindset about what I was doing.

Instead of changing the marketing, I was thinking, Oh, I have to change something about myself. Instead of shifting where I was or the traffic that I was driving. Oh, something's wrong about me. I need more experience. I need more certifications. I need to do more. Not the case. changing that perspective and helping yourself reframe every setback and every failure [00:17:00] will help you move forward and reclaim that personal power over time. 

Joanna Newton: I 

Know it's so easy to be down on yourself in your own accomplishments. Like, I definitely look at, other people who do what I do and in my space is like, I often see them as the experts. and them is the one who, who's accomplished the thing, all the things and, and almost downgrade my accomplishments and don't think I'm like, I don't picture myself as the top person. And I'll tell you, I don't know if this is public knowledge I'm actually even supposed to share with the world, but I wasn't told not to. I found out. Last week that I am the number one selling expert in the Kajabi experts marketplace, which is wild to me. Like, I don't think of myself as number one, cause I haven't been doing it as long as a lot of people or, other people talk more like they're experts.

I think that I do. And like, I think I'm not even going to say 2025, like going forward from this moment, like I need to own [00:18:00] that because I am that. the metrics, like you're saying, like, look at the metrics over the feeling, the metrics are telling me this is true. So I should act like it and, and own that about myself. I don't think of myself as a salesperson. Well, the numbers would say otherwise. and I have to like, realize that and put that in my Persona of who I am because it is who I am instead of like downplaying it. And that's really interesting for me, you know, to be like, Oh, I'm, it's not even being boastful.

It's not being egotistical. Like it's just sharing the truth and putting that out there.

Michelle Pualani: Well, congratulations because that's amazing. We're very well done. You're amazing. And I think we do this so often, especially when I started transitioning to the online space, independent of how much experience I had teaching and coaching and working with literally thousands of students and thousands of bodies.

I felt like who was I to get into the online space and teach and, Oh, I don't have that much experience. I'm not that good at what I do. [00:19:00] And it is incredible how under qualified, very successful people are like at a certain level when you start to see like the amount of followers that someone has or the work that they do or the T classes they teach.

I've always been really surprised at like, wow, that person's actually not very good, but they have the mindset that they can continue to show up, that they're going to keep putting themselves out there. And a lot of times our professionals are experts are people who are doing really good work. They often don't see themselves as qualified enough to Get out into the world to have a big following.

And so it's just kind of like this flip flop, funny thing that I've noticed, especially with the digital space is that sometimes are people who are underqualified, not very good at what they do. They have the larger following an audience, the larger quote unquote business. And then people who are incredibly good at what they do, they have a very small following, very small business.

And so I think that there needs to be. to be some recognition of how we show up in the world and [00:20:00] being able to demonstrate that. Because when it comes to marketing, no, it's not about boasting. No, it's not about ego, but it is about truly representing who you are, how you help and what you can do for people.

And I think it's sometimes tough for us to capture if we're feeling like, Oh, well, I want to be humble or I want to have humility or I don't want to brag. It's important to be able to put yourself out in that way. Right. So, some tactics in order to do this is, one, I think there's a huge distinction between self love, self care, and self compassion.

You may feel like you practice certain levels of self care. You're like, yeah, I love myself. I'm great. But are you really practicing self compassion? And in order to assess that, look at your internal dialogue. What are you saying to yourself? Write down the things that come to mind when you feel like they stand out.

And then acknowledge and identify, is that something that I should be saying to myself for that. It's going to help me. And I always like the practice of, would you say it to a best friend? Would you say it to a family member? And I actually practice like, is this something that I would [00:21:00] tell my niece, my five year old niece, would I make her feel this way or want her to have this feeling as she grows up in the world, as she starts to expand into school, into work, into business, into relationships.

And that always puts it in perspective for me to help me reframe the way that I'm speaking to myself, how I'm showing up. And how I'm actually. Like representing that self compassion or lack thereof in my life. we do this as business owners, right? We sometimes create problems that aren't necessary.

And so when we're dealing with issues, setbacks, when we feel stagnant, like I'm in business masterminds groups and I see and listen to a lot of folks who have. Questions who feel like they're dealing with an issue that when you look at from a third party perspective, you're like, okay, what's, what's the actual problem here?

Like what's really the problem because we're tending to create problems, issues, setbacks, failures, or Places where we're kind of hitting a wall that don't necessarily need to be there. And so how [00:22:00] can you shift the perspective to be solution oriented? How can you think a little outside the box and say, okay, if I were looking in on this situation, What would be the steps necessary?

How would I get myself out? Not why is this happening to me? But how am I going to transition? How am I going to move forward and how I'm going to change? the circumstances that I'm in right now. I really think that this process has a lot to do with self awareness and then also deepening and building your sense of intuition.

So often, we focus on the tasks, on the doing, on the strategies, on the steps, on the pages, on the video production, on all of these things. Things that we have to do that we get lost in terms of the intuition and the emotional judgment of how we're showing up in our businesses. And that's where, again, I think a lot of the frustration sometimes comes from is like, I'm doing everything right.

I've got all the technology, I've got the things. But like something's not clicking. And a lot of the times that's because we're out of alignment. And it's important to tune back into your own [00:23:00] personal intuition, your instincts, your internal decision making process. And sometimes let that be guided by your gut as opposed to Some of the logical things that are coming at you.

So there is a delicate balance between analytics, metrics, doing the research, like figuring out some of those technical details, while also being inspired by your intuition and making decisions based on kind of that internal compass and narrative, as opposed to listening to all of the Chatter that can be out in the world because that will also pull us and all these different directions and we're essentially giving away our personal power by Leaning into oh, but this coach told me this.

Oh, I watched this webinar and they have this tactic Oh this strategy came up on my feet Oh, I got this newsletter and they're talking about this thing and then how many different directions are you going and you're being pulled in all? These different ways and then nothing's You Working out or you're starting to spread yourself too thin.

What does that mean? That's a representation of you losing your [00:24:00] personal power and how you're showing up with your time your attention and your energy trust your gut pay attention to your intuition and work on tuning into that on a continuous and consistent basis basis. things that can kind of help you do that is taking time away from the digital space, get away from your phone, get away from a computer, take time to just free write.

Let yourself flow. Maybe have a simple prompt in the beginning to kind of guide you, but then just let yourself Um, get things out, whether you want to do a simple meditation or even record an audio. Sometimes I like to use this as a tactic is I just talk through a something that I'm facing. I'm dealing with something I've got to kind of just get it out and I can listen back and then hear myself again with a little bit more perspective.

And then being able to find that balance. What analytics are you referring to? What metrics are you paying attention to? So that again, you're not letting your emotions take over and internalize those. And then how are you balancing that with your intuition? How are you allowing alignment to [00:25:00] happen between what you're inspired to do, how you're showing up, while also paying attention to there are some technical things, some data, some analytics, some metrics that I need to make decisions with in my content, in my pages, in emails, whatever, whatever that is.

So finding that, that delicate balance.

Joanna Newton: And being in tune with yourself is just so important. And I think about. You know, times in my life where I don't stop working like you, you start your work day and you just keep going and going and going and going and don't take time to exercise, eat, think, breathe, all of those things. And. In those moments, I will tell you you're, I probably not that productive. your productivity, has its limits. If you're pushing yourself to work overtime and work too much, I bet you there's a point in your day where it's taking you an hour to do something that probably should have taken you 10 minutes, you're just like staring at the same thing over and over and over again.

When, if you [00:26:00] make sure you have those like pockets to unplug, take a step back, Be with family I'm preaching to myself right now about this because I will be half in half out when, if I just put everything away and came back to it in the morning, I'd probably get it done way faster. And I think we, we push ourselves because we think we need to when actually sometimes doing less helps you to do more.

Michelle Pualani: The last point that I want to touch on for this is ensuring that you create an environment that is supportive of you reclaiming that personal power, working on your own growth and development over time.

So that can look like your personal space. your home environment. It can look like your work environment, your office, whatever space that you go to on a consistent basis. The funny thing for me with environment is actually what's become such a critical part of cultivating and shaping. This is my fitness facility.

So I have, uh, Obsessively gotten into functional fitness training for myself. I used to coach and teach functional fitness. And so I think there was a period of [00:27:00] time where I just like needed space from the entire fitness industry. And now over the past year, I have cultivated a community at. My functional fitness and training facility that I freaking adore.

And I go six days a week and I love it. And I'm a little obsessed because I tend to have an addictive personality. Okay. So I dive in, maybe you don't go six days a week, but where are you going? Where are you building community? Are you social anywhere? Is there a cafe? Are you networking? Do you have.

Groups that you volunteer with or committees that you sit on what are the environments that you're creating for yourself that are going to be supportive of the choices that you're making The boundaries that you're setting and the way in which you're cultivating this personal growth, this personal development, reclaiming your personal power, your time, your attention, your energy.

What does that look like for you? And how can you set it up? Does it mean just kind of shifting your space a little bit? Does it mean reorganizing? Does it mean getting rid of things, doing a bit of a declutter, especially as we're heading into the [00:28:00] end of the year? And we've got a new year ahead. I think it's important to start thinking about how you are cultivating a space, a routine, an energetic field that supports you in how you are really expanding and growing.

And we talk about this in some other episodes. We'll continue to talk about. Team from a leadership perspective. How are you cultivating a team that you're working with? Whether that is contractors, whether that is employees, whether that is a co founder or partner, but how are you communicating the way in which you need support, the way in which you're setting boundaries and making sure that there's an open line of communication with your team and that they know that you're working on these things, being as open and vulnerable as you feel comfortable with in order to find the right team members who are going to support you.

You know, the phrasing and saying that you are a reflection of the five people you spend the most time with, it implicates health, wealth, and happiness. And so paying attention to the people that you surround yourself with, [00:29:00] the environment that you're cultivating around you and how you're showing up on a regular basis is going to dictate and determine how you spend your time, what goals you set, and how you move through your day.

And your time is your life. So reevaluate that, continue to work on improving, changing, shifting so that it really facilitates the direction that you want to head, who you want to be, how you want to show up in your life and what it is that you're doing. So thank you so much for tuning in today. If you haven't yet, go back, listen to part one, it'll really set the foundation for how you can reclaim your personal power, how you can start thinking a little bit about navigating those setbacks. You know, today was all about kind of deepening trust, intuition, self awareness, as well as self compassion for you, for the way in which you're experiencing setbacks, failures, challenges, any problems that are arising.

I know we laid a lot on you today. If you can pick just one strategy that you're going to start to practice, maybe that's free writing. Maybe that's five minutes of [00:30:00] Taking time away from anything and just reflecting. Maybe that's cleaning one small space so that you reorganize and restructure your environment, whatever it is, maybe pick just one strategy that we discussed, something that spoke to you, try to implement it this week, give it a go, and let us know what you think on social media, tag us on Instagram, listening to this episode, and hopefully we'll see you in the next one.

Hit subscribe and we'll see you soon.