The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast
The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast
Episode 35: "Do I Need A Dating Coach?"
In Episode 35 of The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast, Cristina Gonzalez, a curvy girl dating coach, discusses the benefits and value of hiring a dating coach. She shares how a dating coach can help you gain confidence, improve self-worth, and effectively communicate to attract the right person. Cristina highlights her personal journey, the misconceptions about dating coaches, and how tailored strategies can lead to meaningful, long-term relationships. She also explains the differences between coaching and venting to friends, the importance of self-love, and how a coach can support you through emotional and mental challenges in the dating world.
00:00 Introduction to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast
00:48 What is a Dating Coach?
04:52 The Value of a Dating Coach
07:19 Why Hire a Dating Coach?
11:09 Are You a Good Fit for Coaching?
18:58 Why Choose Me as Your Dating Coach?
21:08 Conclusion and Next Steps
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You are listening to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast, Episode 35. Do I Need A Dating Coach? Hi, I'm Cristina. After 10 years of dating, I was tired of attracting the wrong type of guys and thinking I had to lose weight to find love. I finally figured out how to date and I found the love I thought I would never find each week. I'll teach you dating advice, share dating stories and help you ditch the dating drama. My goal is to help you have fun and create the life you love. If you're ready to take your dating to another level, then listen up and let's go. Hey y'all. Welcome to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast. I'm Cristina Gonzalez and I am The Curvy Girl Dating Coach. Today, I am going to talk about something that I get asked a lot. A lot of people will ask me what, even as a dating coach and who really needs a dating coach. Some people really need a dating coach. Just letting you know. The first thing people will say is,"oh, like hitch." It's not really like hitch. Maybe a little bit like the overall idea of the story. Sure. It's like hitch, but the examples that they have in the movie are not exactly what a dating coach does. So spoil alert, it is not just about finding a man. It's about so much more than that. So we're gonna dive into it and we're gonna talk about what a dating coach is, what that looks like. Who is it for, how does it change your life, how it changed my life, how it's different from just venting with your girlfriends over brunch. There's a difference between the advice that you get from your girlfriends and from a dating coach. Sometimes they're similar, but not all the time. If you are sick of dating the same guy or being on the apps and not getting anywhere, or you're just burned out from dating, or you just feel like love isn't for you. I felt like that a lot when I was dating, but if you feel any of those things, seriously, listen to this episode because I hope this is helpful for you and will give you the green light that you've been waiting for. So let's just get into it. What is a dating coach and what do they actually do? A dating coach helps you gain confidence, help with your self-worth, and give you some clarity on how to attract the right person and the right relationship that you're looking for. Most of my clients are looking for long-term relationships that lead to marriage. That's what I was looking for, so that's who most of my clients are. But I have clients that want other types of relationships. They're all important and you deserve to have any kind of relationship that you want. So a dating coach helps you get that clarity and go for what you're actually looking for. I don't sit around and tell you what to do or what to say. I don't evaluate every single text message that you get. I help you get some ideas on better ways to communicate. I'm not gonna tell you how to pose for every single dating profile picture. That's part of it. Of course, I give people that advice, but it's just scratching the surface. Even though I might help you with things like posing for your dating profile, we also talk about so much more. And ultimately my goal is for you to go from, oh, I hope he likes me to, I hope I like him." It's an easy mindset switch that can make a big impact in the way that you're dating by realigning that mindset. So anyways, it's like hiring a personal trainer, but for love. We work on your mindset, your emotional patterns, and the strategies on how to get what you want. Because you deserve to have options. You do have options and you don't deserve to settle for whoever. So, we go through that, pick that all apart, and show you how to get to that mindset where you know that you're a bad bitch and you can date and have fun and enjoy it and make decisions from love and power instead of confusion and uncertainty. That's a little bit about what a dating coach is and what we really do. So what is the value in having a dating coach? Like why would it be important? A dating coach helps a lot with accountability. You stop spinning your wheels, overthinking and freaking out all the freaking time and you can start taking like real action steps. So it's like there's some emotional regulation that we work on and it applies to more than just your dating life. Once you start practicing the mindset skills on how to stop spinning your wheels, you'll learn how to apply that to your dating life, your friendships your work life, your personal life. You'll learn how to have healthier emotional regularity. So I'm your accountability partner and I teach you the tools to do that. I'm also a great support system. I talk to you with compassion, with love. I am there to challenge your thoughts and give you an opportunity to think a little bit on a different perspective and I ask you questions to unravel that. So I'm there to support you through that discomfort.'cause you're gonna go through a lot of self reflection and sometimes it's uncomfortable or painful, and I'm there to support you. I'm not trying to give you outdated or unsolicited advice that somebody's trying to offer you, and they know nothing about it. I have real world experience of being single for a very long time and making all the mistakes and spinning all my wheels and going through it. So I've learned how to create strategies and a proven plan that's specific for you so that you can learn how to date confidently. So that's the difference and that's what coaches offer. They want to make sure that you have a plan that's going to help you. It's not gonna be this cookie cutter plan that might work for some people and might not work for others. We really get to know you, and we develop a strategy that you can work with to move forward and be more comfortable dating. And eventually you'll end up seeing a transformation when you go through your coaching program. It helps you stop dating with insecurity and start dating from power. So why? Why would a single woman want to hire a dating coach? You would wanna hire a dating coach if you're tired of dating the same guy that's in a different body. You're attracting the same people over and over again, and you know they're wrong for you, but you try it. Just in case they might be different and then they're not, and it's disappointing and you are just doing the same thing every single time and you're sick of dating that same guy. When a woman hires a dating coach, they learn how to attract different people and how to very quickly know which person is great to get to know and which person isn't all that great and they should be a pass. Single woman would want to hire a dating coach because she's confident in all areas of her life, but completely insecure about herself when it comes to love. So for me, I was super successful in all areas of my life. I had a great family, a very supportive family. I went to college, I had my own car. I started my own career after I finished school. I paid my student loans. So anyhow, I was doing really well in all areas of my life and I was confident in who I was everywhere. But when it came to finding a romantic partner or finding someone that I actually wanted to take home to meet my parents. I was just never able to find that, and it felt so hard and so unattainable that I lost complete hope for myself and all my confidence as a single woman. I just never thought that I was gonna find anybody, and I had no idea what was wrong with me and why nobody wanted me. And a lot of times I spent hours believing that it was because of my body shape, because of what I look like, because I gained so much weight, since I was younger, that I was in a body I didn't want. I made it so much about my body and I am focused so much on learning to not love myself. I was doing the reverse, right? So the further that you get away from that self-love and that self-worth, the harder it's gonna be to find the love that you want. You really have to learn those skills and figure out how to have self-worth and confidence and know that you're the shit before you go out and find that person that's gonna see that in you. There's a lot of work when it comes to having a dating coach and working with somebody. It's really valuable to have somebody that is there to be on your side and support you. Especially somebody who's been in that situation and has felt all the things. I am sure that I've had the same thoughts that you have. It was quite the challenge a lot of times when I was single. If she wants to date with a purpose and not just past time, that is a reason that somebody would want a dating coach again, just like me, I wanted to date with a purpose. I wanted to find a long-term relationship. I didn't wanna just have a casual person to spend time with. And sure, I always wanted to have people to meet and spend time with and get to know and have friends or however, but I also wanted to find a relationship that was purposeful and meaningful and would lead to marriage. I had to learn how to do something different. If you're doing the same shit over and you're stuck and you don't know how to get out of it, then a dating coach is a wise idea if that's something that you would like to do. How do you know if you would be a good fit for coaching? Being able to be self-aware and open to feedback is so important. If you want to be a good fit for coaching, being able to talk about yourself and being vulnerable to a coach and, picking holes through your past and mend some of those wounds that can help you in the future with your confidence and your self worth. We look into that and we deep dive into a little bit of your past to see if some of your beliefs that you currently have are linked to anything from that. And we break it down and learn how to change our mindset so we can leave that in the past and put it in the future. So if you're ready to start moving forward and thinking about how your life can be, in the future, then you would be a good fit for having a dating coach. If you're tired of half-assing your healing process and you're ready for real change. If you have bad relationship history and you are struggling to move forward, then a dating coach would be very valuable. I know for me, I had a relationship, and it just didn't work out. Long story short, we did not have the same goals. We didn't have the same vision of our future. For me, it was together. For him, it was not with me. And that's okay. I was in a not great relationship and I really struggled on how to create a new relationship without having the thought in my head that it was gonna be a waste dating them because they weren't gonna wanna be with me in the future. I was never gonna find somebody'cause they were all gonna end up turning out like my last relationship in a breakup. And it really was a challenge for me to move on from that thought. I was ready to heal. When you're ready for transformation and see your life be something that you envision it to be instead of what you don't think that you can ever have, right? So if you want to have a transformation from your ordinary life to something you didn't think was possible for you, having a coach would be a good fit. Why should anybody hire a dating coach instead of figuring it out themselves? A lot of people think oh, it's so stupid. You don't need a coach to tell you how to date," and you're probably right. A lot of people think, oh, it's so easy. You're just having a conversation with people and that's it. Do you like them or you don't? It sounds easy, but it's not when it involves so many emotions and thoughts that go through your mind, and if you have a lot built up that is keeping you from dating successfully, then yeah. Some people need a dating coach. That's the people who should think about it. If that's not where you are in life, then you can figure it out by yourself and you can do it, and that's great for you. But not every single person can find the right relationships they actually want and deserve and need a little bit of help figuring that out. You shouldn't feel bad about having to figure it out with a little bit of help. Love is very important in our lives. And I'm not talking about just love for someone else. I'm talking about love in general. Love for yourself, love for this world, love for your life, your gratitude for things that are in your life that are going well. When you live in love, instead of fear, anger, or resentment, your life is just so much better when you are in that abundance and in that feeling of love. And you get to create all of that. So love is a very important thing that people need in their life. And again, not necessarily a relationship. Love, I'm just talking about love in freaking general. We learn how to date we learn how to find the love that we're looking for. You don't need to wait until you lose 20 pounds. You don't need to wait until you get your dream job for you to start dating and start looking for love. You don't have to wait and have it all together. Nobody has it all together ever. We're all a work in progress and we all have room for growth. Why would you wanna wait until you lose weight before you find a relationship? Just do it now. Find somebody who loves you right now instead of the person that you are not. Because you're not the person who's lost the weight yet. You're not the person that has it all together yet. You're not the person who has the dream job yet, but find the person who wants to support you and be there now for you so that they can see your transformation and be there to support you So having somebody help you out a little bit and get you through those steps and give you those tools instead of having to figure it all out by yourself. There's nothing wrong with that. Just like you want education for anything else in your life that you wanna learn how to do. If you wanna learn how to date well and how to enjoy your single life, your dating life, your friendship life, all the other kinds of relationships that you have in your life. If you want that to improve and it's something that you're interested in, then just hire a coach. Somebody who's gonna assist you and your future goals, like why would it be wrong to have some extra support? If you are struggling in any area and you think you can use a little help figuring things out, there's nothing wrong with getting a coach. If you need counseling first. Counseling and life coaching are not the same thing. Okay? So sometimes people need to work with counselors or therapists alongside with a life coach. Sometimes you might need to work with a therapist first and then move on to a life coach. I am not a certified therapist. I'm not a certified counselor, I am an expert in dating. So I want that to be very clear. Life coaching and dating coaching is a whole different ball game. I respect that boundary and I would never try to be somebody that I'm not. So if we were to have a consultation and I think you might be a great fit for coaching, but you might need some, other type of interventions first, I would also recommend that too. I wanna make sure that you are getting the best support in your life. Creating a life you love is super important. Do it now. Don't wait for something to start living your life. Live the life that you freaking want right now. If you wanna go on vacation, go on the damn vacation. Don't shorten what you can experience in your life because you don't have a partner. Go out and go find the damn partner while you're having an amazing single life. And just learning how to develop friendships and healthy relationships and a healthy social life. I've had clients that weren't comfortable dating online and they wanted to learn how to meet people in real life and didn't know how to go out by themselves without feeling uncomfortable. She was learning to find places where people would be. Where it wouldn't be awkward to go out by yourself. So you learn how to develop skills and have a healthier social life, and that's a great goal to have. another thing people ask me, like, why are you different from any other dating coach? I was single for 10 years. I have a lot of practice. I felt invisible. I felt frustrated, angry. I always felt like I was the fat, funny friend. it's bullshit. I was single for 10 years and I had all these feelings about it. I have a lot of experience dating, a lot of freaking weirdos, a lot of rejection, a lot of rejecting that I needed to do. I've been in that life I can relate to being that plus size single person and that plus size friend and feeling like your body is inconvenient to people sucks. That's why I'm a little bit different from other dating coaches. Feeling like your body is an apology is really shitty, and I don't know if straight size people feel that. But I definitely felt that when I was single and trying to learn how to date. So I definitely know the emotions that are involved in dating and how hard that could be, and frustrating it could be. I feel like dating while fat is a whole nother way of dating. We all have emotional challenges and mental challenges when we're dating at all size of humans, but I think the thoughts that we have as plus size women, they're different and we really understand each other when we talk about it. I'm here for all the things. I wanna talk to you and get nitty gritty about all those things that you might be thinking I am your hype woman. I am not here to help you get a man. I'm not trying to be your matchmaker, I'm not trying to be your hitch. I'm here to help you become a better version of yourself and the person who never settles, the person who dates to find what they're looking for and what they deserve to have, and not somebody who is dating just because. If this episode hits home with you and you are, considering coaching, please, I would love you to schedule some time. Let's talk about it and see if it's something that works. the link to the consultation calendar is in my show notes. It will be there and you can just click on that link and it'll go straight to my calendar And you can schedule an appointment. I don't need a credit card or anything. There's no personal information except for your email You don't need to earn love by shrinking yourself. You just need the right tools, support and strategy to start showing up As the woman who knows she deserves it. So if you're ready to do this thing for real, click on the link below in the show notes. I'd love to hear your story and I love to help you make the first step. So just remember that dating does not have to be miserable. You don't have to settle and you for damn sure don't have to do it alone. You've got this and I've got you. So let me know what you think and maybe I'll talk to you soon. If not, I'll talk to you next week. Bye.