The Glow Code: Style Your Life
As a Life and Fashion Coach, I've learned that the thing we're all searching for is life is freedom. Freedom to be our true selves, and to love it.
Prone to conformity, suppression, and just trying to be the "good girl," I quieted my voice and outsourced my wholeness, hoping someone or something else would make me happy.
It was only when I allowed ALL the parts of me to surface—the messy, different, and wild parts—that I felt whole in my body. I was done searching externally for self-love and peace, knowing that I had all the power and love I ever needed right inside of me. I just had to be willing to find it, and most importantly, express it.
Style is an external expression of your inner radiance and truth. So before we go out, come inward with me!
The Glow Code: Style Your Life
Living For Myself with Kellie Lupsha
What if you could finally become the CEO of your own health? Join me as I chat with Kellie Lupsha, a trailblazer in women's health and a former physical therapist. Discover how Kellie empowers midlife women to balance hormones, boost energy, and achieve sustainable weight loss, all while shedding the need for external validation. Through her candid reflections on the high expectations set by her entrepreneurial father and the challenges of midlife, Kelly reveals the importance of embracing one's inner truth and resilience.
At my request, Kellie unveils practical health tips to optimize your morning routine—simple yet powerful habits that can jumpstart your day and set a positive tone, AND gives us a sneak peak at a revolutionary new health product launching soon.
CONNECT WITH KELLIE:
Find her on LINKTREE: https://linktr.ee/kellielupsha
Check out her WEBSITE: https://thelupshas.com/
Learn more about her retreat: https://bit.ly/RESTORE24
Get Kellie's #1 Health Hack: https://members.thelupshas.com/health-hack
Join me in my Free FB community: Women’s Wellness Revolution https://www.facebook.com/groups/274125897009205FB: Kellie Lupsha or Thelupshas
IG: thelupshas
CONNECT WITH MAREN & START YOUR GLOW-UP TODAY!
Take your Wardrobe Alignment Assessment and get personalized video feedback from me! Easy, 10 question quiz to help you see where the blocks are!
Book a Style Edit Session- a 90 minute deep-dive call with me where we go internally to look at what's keeping you stuck, held back, or just feeling blah about your life and your wardrobe, and curate an intensive style plan that feels authentic to YOU! Learn more HERE.
Dress Like a Goddess in 90 Seconds - And I really mean it! Grab this free guide that is short, simple, but packs powerful, tangible results so you can start dressing like your REAL and most AUTHENTIC self every day! Grab it HERE.
Connect with me online:
Website: www.marenswenson.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558419637560
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/findwildserenity/
you're listening to the wild serenity finding inner peace your way podcast. I'm your host, maryne swenson, and on this show we talk about finding peace from the inside out by shedding conformity and the need for others approval and embracing your own wild truth. Whatever that may be serene, self-love is wild, radical honesty and I invite you to come inward with me. Something that I love about my podcast and the topic I have is that I get to interview so many different people from all walks of life, from all different job backgrounds, from different specialties, but what we talk about is finding wholeness and love inside of ourselves, shedding the need for conformity, shedding the need for external approval and what it really means to find ourselves. That's a conversation I'm having today with the fabulous Kelly Lepcha, who's actually a health coach, someone I haven't totally interviewed on here before. I do have one episode where I interviewed um, an RN and a holistic health coach, but these two women do similar things and they're also different at the same time. Something that is really cool, and I'd love for you to stick around to the end of this episode where Kelly shares um, because I've asked her about the things she's most passionate for as far as health hacks go Um, and then an exciting new thing that is coming in October that you will want to learn about, so please stay tuned to the end for that. In the meantime, I want to introduce you to Kelly.
Speaker 1:She is an expert on women's health and supports midlife women in achieving more energy, balancing hormones and losing weight, leading to well-being and longevity. She's, foremost, a mom of four adult kids and a true entrepreneur. She's been in the wellness and healthcare space for over 28 years as a physical therapist, wellness expert and business owner. She coaches women with wellness programs, health coaching and retreats. She's passionate about teaching people to live extraordinary in health and finances. Kelly's also the host of thrivingriving in Midlife Redefining Aging with Wellness sorry, with Wellness the podcast. You should listen to that. Her ultimate purpose is to teach people to become the CEO of their own health. It is no longer an option, she says. It is essential to take control of your health. So, without further ado, meet Kelly.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you, maren, for having me on. It's just always fun to connect with you and your audience and all of the women. So, yeah, gosh, a little bit about myself. So I've always been an avid outdoor person and an avid athlete and a scholar. It led me into my career as a physical therapist Was just love.
Speaker 2:Being in my career for almost 30 years which is wild to think that's even possible and really I ran, you know, hospitals. My husband and I then had our own clinic in orange County, california, and we really help people that suffered from stroke, traumatic brain injury, concussion, a lot of other neurological disorders. Um, and it was really lovely neurological disorders and it was really lovely. And then I kind of just started discovering that is this what I wanted, I loved it and I loved helping all of the people and I wouldn't have changed that. But I kind of felt like I designed this career and and had this office because that's what I was supposed to do in life Be successful, have a career, have a thing. I had my own business. And then I was at the pinnacle and I kind of realized maybe that's really not it right, life is just so much more than that. But we kind of look to what the world tells us we should be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And I know in our previous discussion you were saying you felt a lot of pressure of and it kind of is in that comparison.
Speaker 2:So I was like like, well, I want to be better than my brother always and I don't know why.
Speaker 2:I put that upon myself, um and and, in all of that and growing up I knew, especially coming from my father, it wasn't really my mother, but my father really put a lot of high pressure that you know, I need to become an attorney, I need to be a doctor, because that was like the thing, the person people would maybe look up to. And I knew in my heart I could have been, I was super capable of, but I had no desire to. And as I made my decision to go on to physical therapy school, then it became like oh, you got accepted to the Mayo Clinic, oh, you're going to be this big thing, oh you. And so then I always felt like it was more the accolade of it versus the title.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, what did your dad do? What did your parents do?
Speaker 2:Yeah, my dad was an accountant and, you know, worked his way and navigated and I think what happened is he really was an entrepreneur and he really wanted to go out on his own and he did towards the end of his life and many of his attempts were unsuccessful until the last one, which was successful and very successful, that he had for the last gosh. Not that long. It could have been somewhere between six to eight years of his life before my dad passed away. Okay, he became successful and it it taught me later in life that as an entrepreneur, you in order to find what works, most of the time in businesses a lot of businesses are not successful and you have to keep till you find the one or the thing or whatever it may be. So I loved his resilience. He didn't do that till later in life, Um, and I think it was when my brother and I were growing up through later in high school and college that he started trying all of that and then he got disappointed in himself because it wasn't working.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and then he really wanted to push it on you.
Speaker 2:Really wanted to push it on me and even though I've loved my career, I've loved what I've done through my time, I never knew he was so proud and I think that literally stems Marin all the way back from when I was like in younger years as an athlete. He would always make time to like go to my brother's baseball game, but maybe not my volleyball games.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:So I understand when people have full-time jobs and they're busy and you can't leave in the middle of the day. I get all of that, but all I saw is my brother is more important and more valued.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sure, that's definitely how it felt for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's how it felt, and so it's just really interesting. Then why do we even think of all of this later in life? It's like wow, and I think I made up the story more than really was my dad's story, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean we do that right. We project whatever what's going on inside of us, what we're insecure about, what we need to work on, and we. That's how we see the world and I'm sure there's I'm sure there's truth and balance from both sides. You know, in your experience growing up, because it's I'm just sitting here listening to this like that's so interesting, because it's so different how it's raised, like the amount of pressure and expectations for my life. It's so funny. I'm sitting here like gosh.
Speaker 1:I would have, I think at one point I would have loved for my dad to have been like you should, you should be all these things and do all these things, because I always felt incapable, even though I did have like a bug in me that wanted to be more traditionally and I'm quoting here, right Traditionally successful. But my life plan was, you know, like be a stay at home mom and get some practical degrees to support your family in case something happened to your husband, but really need to be a just a stay at home mom. And I'm thinking like how interesting. I actually have hardly met anyone whose parents were kind of the opposite of that and like really push their girls specifically on that so interesting.
Speaker 2:Well, and you know, such an interesting time is, um my mom, I will say she was really still in the generation that you could be a teacher, a nurse, a secretary, right, those are kind of like you. There there were absolutely outliers, but in general those were still very, very common. Then in my day and age I would say, well, now you could do anything and be anything.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So the hardest part for all of us women is I took on all that and, at the side note, nobody told me well, wait, wait, like that's great, but be sure to have presence and balance, because you still have a family to raise, you still need to be there to support your husband, you still need all of this. And instead you take it all on and you lead to a lot of stress and burnout, not realizing oh, I don't need to spin 20 plates, I can't right, it's not possible. And learning that, no, I can do it all, but you can do it with boundaries. And now, with technology, it's even harder for people, because I think it's an expectation that, with phones and computers at our fingertips and technology around the world, that you can do it all. And I would just tell you everybody only, if you want to do it all, yeah, drop the expectation, right, I don't actually think any of us want to do it all.
Speaker 2:Or we have seasons, se, right, um, and that's really because I used to say like, oh, I can't believe all like where I grew up with, not where I grew up, where I raised my children, the community, there was lots and lots of women that have the financial capability to stay home, or they're cultural or religious or they wanted to, whatever that may be. Yeah, and the back of my mind I was like oh my God, come on. Like I'm, I run a full-time clinic and I do this, I do that. Like I had this kind of like thought I wore this hat of I can't believe you're just staying home. Like you're like I don't have time to like volunteer in the classroom. And as my kids got older, all of a sudden, as my heart opened and I learned to be more present, I was like I was only saying that because I would have begged. I would have loved to have actually been in their classroom.
Speaker 2:I would have coached them and I could like I was making up those stories. And then I'm like you know what? But if I really wanted that I could have worked less and and made those different changes. But I just thought if you owned your own business to own your own business, you're working 60 hours a week. You will just miss out on that Cause that's just an expectation versus no, actually that's a societal expectation. I could have chosen differently, but you get so caught up in the thought what other people think and you know I'll be super real. I was living in the part of Orange County, california, where literally the Orange County housewives is filmed, like the women I was around, the people I'm in. The money that's there gets overwhelming and you just through it of what should I look like, what should I be like, what am I? You know what's my role and, um, sometimes I just think I lost myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, I think we all do that with wherever we're at in life, like. I noticed that a lot even where I live not in the same way of Orange County at all, I'm in a small, small town, conservative Utah but it's very predominant with, like the, the presence of the LDS church that's here that's so prevalent and a lot of women are caught up just in like. It's like our little bubbles we make like what am I wearing, and who's parenting the best, and how spiritual am I, and who's got the fanciest car and what things you know, we just get stuck in this little world. So I, I get all that I had. Um, my college roommate was from laguna, niguel, okay, and her and my very good friend, her and her good friend, I, so I actually know a lot of people from kind of that area and have spent time down there. But it's sure a beautiful place to live. It's sure a beautiful place to live.
Speaker 2:It's sure a beautiful place to live.
Speaker 1:That is for sure.
Speaker 2:I really got caught up and I think in all of that it's certainly opened up my eyes, whether it's been career, whether it's been parenting, whether it's been family, that it's all our own journey and we all have to. I I can't control other people's thoughts and feelings. That's for them. I can only control mine until really let that go. It's really been a lot of healing in this past. I guess my healing journey started Um, I, I was divorced about. I was divorced about 18 years ago and that was like, oh my gosh, because I made this decision to leave, and of all of my friends, whether it be high school, college, beyond, no one had been divorced, and so it was a little bit like the black sheep.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, it feels like so much failure, and so it was a little bit like the black sheep.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, it feels like so much failure, so much failure. What did I do? I've let everybody down. I've let my kids down, spiral, spiral, spiral.
Speaker 2:A few years later, after that, my father had passed and then it was a lot of like realizing, oh, he was. He was super proud of me and everything I had done, but I never really thought he was right, as I was learning, as he was like ending his life. Um, and then I was starting a new life and met an amazing man in my life and thought I went through a lot of therapy and through all of it. Right, we all need, honestly, coaching, therapy, counselors, we've super healthy, but in that I really thought, um, whether it be career, whether it be divorce, whatever it may be, that I was whole again and good, realized there's so many other layers that get hidden of things in your life that you can unlock. And when you fully can be authentically you and let all of that baggage go um, this whole new level of us can step forward. So I, these last couple of years, have been the most amazing years of my life, feeling more vibrant than ever because you're just unlocked, right, unleashed kind of free.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then what's so fascinating, Maren is um.
Speaker 2:Just a little over a year ago, so right after father's day of 2023, my ex-husband had got diagnosed with stage four cancer and it was just like you know, heart wrenching Cause I knew him for years we met in high school, but also now having these children that were young adult children in this what in the world. So it was a beautiful year of navigating, communicating, healing any last things that were still there, helping the children in this process. He then passed um in uh April of of 24 this past year, and what came out of all of that in me now trying to help the children because now they need a lot of help and support that I still had leftover shame and guilt lingering from my divorce.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 18 years later 18 years later.
Speaker 2:I'm like I'm good, like my life is amazing. Where did this come from? Right, I was trying to help them find peace and healing and me of of of why and so many of us, I think, no matter what. Is it in our life we're hanging on to this shame and guilt and fear? And is it other people's perceptions Like what is it in our life we're hanging on to this shame and guilt and fear? And is it other people's perceptions Like what is this how we're supposed to be?
Speaker 1:Right, and can we go back? To yeah, let's go and say that.
Speaker 2:And then I want to ask you more, yeah, thing of I realized that when I left and you make changes in your life, that it was okay for me to not want to be this individual spouse, but I still could be this individual's friend. And at the time everybody doesn't see things the same way at the same time, which makes it very, very hard. So then sometimes you have to just cut off or not. It just I can't make it my way. Right, it has to be. There's multiple parties involved, yeah, and I realized that it wasn't for lack of not being a nice person. And I think sometimes, when it comes to whether it's business, family, whatever, and things have to go separate ways, everybody wants to cut everything off or make it black and white, and our relationships, our emotion, who we are isn't, isn't black and white.
Speaker 1:No, it's very complex and layered and multifaceted. For sure, yeah, I, yeah, I. Um, people want to take sides, as if there should be a side. That's the worst thing ever, actually, for everyone involved, especially kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes, yes, well, and if you look at the world in every single aspect and if you're on the news, social media, whatever the world trains us to kind of have that thinking that you know thinking it this or this.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, yeah, I always feel like it's so case specific. My opinion is a little fluid because I always have to take an account the new person and the new context and the new situation and it's I don't ever feel like it's really a one size fits all. No, no.
Speaker 2:And honestly in life, as as we all journey through life and have a life of learning and improving and advancing, we should have different views and they may change and it may come and go, but having you know, being very, very careful that you're not always looking through the same lens.
Speaker 1:And I think so many people.
Speaker 2:It's the whole like my way, the highway, this is the way it is, and, um, I don't know. I think I've now learning to help me. If I can be this way, then I can help my whether it's my own family and children, whether it could be my community. Be just so much more open, right? Why are we all so judgmental? Because, for sure, I never want to put the perceptions on my children that they need to live up to X, y, Z, but it's. It's interesting, even as they've all made choices in college, because what we spoke to them and how we behaved as parents as they grew up really was telling them they will go to college.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and life has really changed quickly.
Speaker 1:And now, in hindsight, if you don't, know what you're going to do if you don't like it's not for everybody Absolutely, and the cost of education is a fortune right now.
Speaker 2:So I was like wow, but I can't even like back that up, because I told them that for so many years you know, and so I. I I've told them then all as they're launching, like there's options, it's okay, you can choose, but I think everyone, one of us, has to be careful of what not only what we say, but how we're behaving, because they always say that behaviors are caught, not taught and I don't just say to our children, but to the people around us in. Are we really modeling the behavior that we want to emulate and have others do the same?
Speaker 1:Yeah, others do the same, yeah, ooh, it's tricky Right? I like look at how me and all my siblings, what we've caught from my parents, and then I'm like I have so many good intentions and I'm thinking what are the things my kids are catching from me?
Speaker 2:Oh no.
Speaker 1:I'm sure they will. I'm sure in 20 years they'll be like mom remember when this and this and you made me feel this way and I'll be like, oh yeah, yeah Right.
Speaker 2:I know, and you know, as I've had some uh you know, not recently, but I used to have some, you know drama with the kids and I used to tell them all listen, this is the first time for me having, like, a daughter at this age or a son at this age. With this experience, we're all learning. I don't. There's no manual. I wasn't taught like your kid hits 17 and drives their car when, like you, don't. We're all learning. Yes, I might give the kids some grace, but I'm like, listen, you got to give us parents grace, because this is a new world for all of us navigating and, honestly, as the world changes and evolves, everything is new all the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, Take me back to um like where did you grow up?
Speaker 2:First of all, yeah, I uh born and raised in like Scottsdale area, okay.
Speaker 1:How'd you end up in Orange County?
Speaker 2:Yes, so I loved Arizona. I went to undergrad there at the University of Arizona, I went to graduate school at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, came back to Arizona and I thought I would live there forever and my family was there my husband's family was there and then my job. I was working for a rehab hospital and I had gone back and gotten my master's in business and so I kind of was working my way up at the hospital that I was working at and my job said hey, we are acquiring a rehab hospital out in Tustin, california, and we're going to be looking for a director of therapy. And then I'm like where's Tustin? Know? They're like it's Orange County, it's like near the beach, like Newport, and my husband was like an avid surfer. He used to come out to California every single summer with his family and he was like what we're in, we're going, wow, faster than I was on it, and so anyways. So then I was like, okay, that would be kind of fun, go out to California for a couple years and then I'll come back. Our going out to California for two or three years turned into never coming back. So 25 years in Arizona and then 25 years to the day in Orange County, california.
Speaker 2:I loved it. It's a place I mean people say, right, it truly is the most amazing, beautiful place. We were only 15 minutes from the beach and you know, we were in hills and could go hiking and you could go to the mountains and skiing in a few hours. I mean, it was a. It's a beautiful place. We I enjoyed it very much raising the kids there. It was really amazing. Our whole community was so fabulous. But, as my husband and I really realized is, in our life, what does our long-term life want to be like and look like? And sometimes you're really caught up in certain. You know environments and good or bad, the cost of living in California is a fortune.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So can we slow down and use this money and save it away, versus having to spend every penny for living or feeling like we need to? Um, and it was, uh, it was just again. For all the things we love about living in California, it was just our time to say take a little departure, yeah. So what were things like for you in?
Speaker 1:your first. How long were you married to your? About living in California? It was just our time to say take a little departure, yeah. So what were things like for you in your first? How long were?
Speaker 2:you married to your first husband and how many kids did you have with him? Yeah, we, um, we met in high school, we married after graduate school and, um, we were married almost 10 years but together a long time yeah, together a long time, and we had two kids together and they were very little. And I think just to kind of put it out there for all the listeners, sometimes when we're in a struggle, we think, well, if we do this, things will get better. Oh, if we just do this, things will get better. This things will get better. Oh, if we just do this, things will get better. And I knew, from when we headed out to California, things kind of started changing and I really realized, honestly and just to kind of back up, because there's no, no class in in in school that teaches you about relationships, and if you don't have parents that really teach you about relationships, you don't really know what they're supposed to look like or be like.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I didn't realize that ours was much more of a friendship. Okay, yeah, ish, there's a lot of fun things, but it was very based on fun versus so many other things of that you maybe you're looking for in a life partner.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, um, and so I really thought well, when we have kids, he'll figure things out you know, oh, when he does this, it'll be that when this, that it never happened.
Speaker 2:And uh, you know, lo and behold, it was just I'll. I was the woman who. I'll just make it work. I'll work hard, I'll do it. I'll make it work. It's okay, I'll figure it out. And I couldn't figure this out Right. I could, I can't cause. You can't control him. Yeah, can't control. So my kids were very, very little and I, I just was really stepping back to ask myself what is my, what do I want in my life, what do I really want it to look like? And, um, you know, there are some other little bumps in the road that you know I want to go divulge, all sure, and I just kind of felt like, wow, I'm such a smart, educated woman, why didn't, why didn't I see these things? But it's just, a lot of things aren't talked about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you just don't know.
Speaker 2:And we don't want to write a lot of times like oh it's good, good, good, why would I want to, um, kind of uncover some things that you don't want to necessarily see or know, and so um, and so you move on and and all I can really say and I'm sure you know you have had some of these feelings is only only I, I was the only person that knew what I felt, how, what I was going through behind closed doors or open doors or whatever, and I'm the only one who's going to determine. What life do I want? How do I want to show up, what I want to feel, what I want to experience? How much joy do I want in my life? What do I want? I only wish I knew all of this when I was 18 or 20.
Speaker 1:Oh, when, when I was dealing with my decision to get divorced. No, it was like I would talk myself blue in the face to a few certain individuals who just could not hear me, believe me, understand, and they just had it in their heads what I was going through and it was so not accurate to what I was actually going through and their perception of what my marriage looked like versus what the reality was, you know, in our house and behind closed doors so different and that was maddening to like and I I really needed them to believe me. And then finally, I was like they're not going to, I'm just going to have to be okay with what I know is truth for me and do it anyway. So I just, I can't live like this anymore. But was there a measure of that too? Like, did you have a lot of? Did you have support or did you have people telling?
Speaker 2:you. I had a few. I had a few people that really were supporting me, but what was quite interesting is our long-term friends were all intermixed from years ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Cause you meet each other so young.
Speaker 2:And even when we met, many of my friends knew him first. Oh interesting, they all went to say elementary school and things together, oh right, so they just had this, they had this relationship that they knew so in it. I don't even know why people think they need to pick sides. I I don't even what is that about, um, but it really broke my heart and that's probably my last thing today is there's still people that have hurt is maybe not the right word, but just just just been disappointed and I have to be able to say again they're not my actions or behaviors, so like let that go, but cause I almost feel like I disappointed them in your decision to get divorced and my decision to get divorced, because I lost a good handful of beautiful relationships.
Speaker 2:And it's really when you know somebody else then can you know? Once you make that decision, they continue to tell their story that might not be the real story, Right, it's always like my story, their story and the real story, or there's many versions of the truth in between, but when, um, when that version gets out there to enough people that they all think that's truth. Yeah, oh yeah, really hard.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I'm relating so much to this.
Speaker 2:And I felt like no, I need to tell you the truth. I like. You know what I mean. Like, listen to my truth and I realized I was almost making it worse for them, that they not worse for them, but worse for me.
Speaker 1:Right yeah, worse for me, right Because they're not going to, or they're not going to understand it the way we need them to understand it, and then it just feels like such another gut wrench or knife in the chest. You know like, oh man, yeah, I get all of that. It's taken me and my husband several years to just be like, whatever people are going to think, what they want to think, we know how something looks on the outside, but they don't again know what life was really like for us behind closed doors or in our families or in our relationships.
Speaker 2:But yeah, and you know, through all of this, growth is holy cow. If you can come to have ultimate love for yourself, then when we're out in the world, everyone it's like oh they're, they're too lucky, they travel too much. Oh they have this car. Oh they're too skinny. Oh they're in the perfect health. Oh, they have the perfect family. Like someone out there is going to criticize you I mean you.
Speaker 2:Just there is no pleasing everybody, there's no need to please everybody but if we have this internal self-love and find a way that you have and you're now helping so many women just explore this true self, um then then, then you've, you've succeeded. Right, you can't say you've made it, but we can't always be concerned about if they like my jewelry, my hair, my makeup, my clothes, what I'm eating, how much money I'm making. I mean, we do like, I do me like, I just be right and and with our family and our community, and then, in turn, you surround yourself with those people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you just attract the people who feel that way about themselves and then everyone's happy pretty much, yeah, when you. So when you did get divorced, were things really really difficult for you, Like in the in the aftermath.
Speaker 2:It was. It was you know what. I was a very, very and I'm like positive, energetic, enthusiastic person and I never really understood people that have like mental health issues or depression, like I'm like I don't know, like life is great, right. Yeah, I always thought like it's your outlook, like just change your outlook. But it was the first time for me that I was in a really dark place. Even though I was making I knew I was making the right decision. I was in a dark place. It was very hard, um, and I needed help for a while and I had to go on medication to help for a while.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And and for anybody out there just knowing that there's a place for all of it and you should reach out and you should get help and it's. You know it's difficult and I think I mean people say it's time, but I don't actually think it's time. You really need to do the work and I was determined to really be able to do the work and I think when children are in the mix it's just the hardest, because I just never wanted it to affect them negatively in the future. I can keep love in the forefront and show them love, like all of this is really going to be okay. But it was very difficult when, in my situation, instead of being like highly volatile, it was just oh well, then, fine, we won't talk about it.
Speaker 1:Like yeah, shut down.
Speaker 2:Don't want to like just completely shut down, but it's like no, no, you want to talk about it. No, let's work through this. Let's work Like ah, there was like nothing.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, I really had to. Even though I found myself to make the decision, I had to refine myself again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, what do you consider?
Speaker 2:quote the work that you did, wow that's a great question, um, multifaceted, for sure. One I realized that I had created a life for myself of so much busy that I no matter what relationship, you know, moving forward, moving forward, whether it be my children, be a new partner, whoever I needed to create space, one for me to have time and really get to know who I am. So one just through some traditional coaching and counseling in the beginning, then even working with some higher level professionals, and then reading a lot of books, you know, giving myself time to read and read and rediscover. I think we have to find ourselves back, come home to ourself, before we just move on to the next.
Speaker 2:To create more busyness and chaos in our life. And again, there's so much pressure of being the best and being busy and be involved in everything all the way from grade school, high school, college, advanced school, like just the next, the next, the next, the next, the next. We don't really ever give ourselves quiet periods.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's hard to do when you're balancing career, family, all the things we have. It's a high paced life.
Speaker 2:It's a high paced life and I think if we can all realize that some seasons of quietness and busyness, quietness versus busyness is okay. I really needed to kind of even shut the voices out so I didn't go on some girls trips. I knew I wasn't in the space to do it and I just knew I needed to not go. But funny, marin back to that is they didn't get that. They were mad at me doing certain things during this time period and now I was in such trauma. I have little periods that I can kind of hardly remember Right. Cause I was, yeah, cause it was.
Speaker 1:You're just such a fog of pain and oh, that's hard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, really hard, um and so then I had to find new, new outlets. Right, I actually found yoga during that time. I found other modalities of healing for me at that time, really just evaluating what was important to me because I think so young, what is important to all of us is this outside external sexual appeal. You know, we're not thinking of long-term companionship, long-term goals, long-term. What do you want for money? How do you want to raise kids? I don't know. I don't think any of us, I mean. I think today young people are having much bigger discussions than they ever did. When we were angry, it wasn't Um, and now it's just to the detriment of and and and. Can it work Absolutely? And I hope for myself, I've been able to now, through my healing. When you're talking about what did that look like in the work, is I'm not really helping other young individuals.
Speaker 2:Young women say know yourself, read books, find what you like. I want to take my journey to help others so that they can hopefully find the right partner the first time. But if they can't do the work on themselves and they're not clear on who they are, they can't be clear on who they want.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I think that goes for everything in life Can't be clear on anything we want unless we know for ourselves first. Yeah, so you talked about how, even 18 years later, this was kind of like the. I don't know if it's the final unpacking, but maybe the biggest unpacking was realizing you still carry these strong feelings, details, but was, was it the shame, and specifically over just the actual getting divorce, or was there more tied up in that?
Speaker 2:yeah, um, maybe I'm still unpacking some of it as it, you know, because it all is pretty recent, I think. One, as we all say, like if awareness is the first stage in anything, right? So one just to make me aware I'm like, ooh, ooh, interesting that I still felt a little bit of this. So what do I do with this? Um, and I would, I would say most of the time I I was a little shameful and guilty that I wasn't better prepared before I married the first time. Like I was so silly, why did I do this? Like what? Why didn't I know better? Cause everybody now recently is like that that knew him and knew me were like oh God, why Like?
Speaker 2:we always were wondering, we were never like and I'm like what did I see? What like? Where was I? Was I just anxious to get married and have a family, right To do the thing? I don't know? Um, but what is interesting is, because of all the work that I've done, I've been able to be super honest with the children through all of this and just say, like I don't know, but I, I can let go easier. I don't really know what the point is, I still need to do and I think I just needed to know they're hiding somewhere and then I can be freed of it Like, oh, I don't know, but I think, why did I make them, matt, like?
Speaker 2:why did I make that decision in the beginning? Because there was a time in college I already knew I actually had made a decision. This wasn't going to be it, and I didn't listen to myself and I moved forward with it anyways.
Speaker 1:Okay, kelly, I am. I almost called my wedding, my first wedding, off three weeks before and had like a huge. I felt so not good about getting married the first time. This, all this stuff you're feeling and or you know that you're unpacking I bet so many, if not everyone, who makes decisions like this can look back and it's interesting how that's where all your shame is tied up is like this shame for yourself, like disappointment in what you did? I?
Speaker 1:I recently had a huge, strong experience, um, a spiritual experience, um, and I was like really deep inside myself, um, unpacking things like this, and I realized that I was still carrying huge shame and disappointment in myself over my original decision too and like why did I do that? Why did I marry this person when I knew that wasn't, didn't feel right to me and all the things that happened because of it and all the broke like so much, so much suffering, especially because of getting divorced, that we have to go through and the kids and all, all the things. And I finally was like I was with a facilitator, a guide, who was like helping me unpack this stuff and she was like close your eyes and just really listen to yourself and ask why did you marry him? And I was like I could feel the answer like come right up inside. And I was like expansion and that's what came out of my mouth. And she's like do you really feel like you made the wrong decision? And I was like, no, I, I totally intended to do that. And then she's like do you feel like you expanded from that experience? I was like, oh, it's a hell. Yes, I can come up with all the things I learned and all the insane, like how my soul has grown and the progress I've made and the new look I have at life and all the challenges that have come and how me and my kids have been able to keep melding and adapting and rising, and all the amazing things that have happened.
Speaker 1:And I was like I don't. I don't think I think I've been looking at this all wrong. I don't think that I betrayed myself or that I wasn't actually listening to myself. I'm like I think I think I'd made the right decision. It just I think some part of me knew it was going to be really tough and I was kind of like, ooh, are you sure you want to do this?
Speaker 1:And I followed through and now you've been remarried to an amazing man, have an amazing family, and me too, and if I can, and it helped me like release all of that. And I was like what if we? Even if it's not true, what if we all looked at our lives Like, no, I made the right decision and here's all the good things that came out of it and now I know better for the future. Like what if we? You know, like the shame that bubbled out of me because of that, like it was just such an unburdening. So I listened to this and I'm like I know exactly how you feel and my husband feels it. Everyone, so many people feel about every decision that they're like what was I thinking?
Speaker 2:Yeah, like we, but we do the best with what we know at the time.
Speaker 1:Like I, maybe we just need to give ourselves grace.
Speaker 2:I think we need more grace and I think I think, as we're all growing and we learn to really listen to our inner self, and if we're listening to our inner self, our inner true self, right as we're going through the process, then there is no shame, blame, regret, Even though if it may not have worked out the way we thought. No, as long as you're being true and following and listening, um, we might take a hard path, but later we're like why did we take that path? But maybe, like you said, in this beautiful expansion that came through and becoming this incredible woman that you are today, and and I think that's a lot of things, this you know, people can look at it as failures, but honestly, they're just doors, keys to unlocking the next level of greatness for all of us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, but Ooh, I, yeah, I feel that so strongly like, oh yeah, thank you for sharing that Wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and and I love talking about this, marin, because if people were to just today meet me or just take a patient peek at my social media, they would just think that I skipped down the yellow brick road. Yeah, yeah, I know it always appears like that. Everybody really needs to know. Everybody has difficulty, trauma, dirt, hardship. There is no perfect. We're all just in this journey called life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm feeling all tingly from what we just talked about. Um, kind of moving on from this, though, I'm like you're really a health coach now. Was that right? That's what you do. Yes, yes, yeah. So how did you kind of segue into that and how did you know that was your true calling?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, yeah, thank you for this. And it's a great way to kind of really like segue all the life and beautifulness and stories amongst all the struggles, right? So everybody out there listening like there's always these possibilities. And you know my last big thing of why I feel today in my life I'm so clear and confident and finding this new road as a true health coach, I love my career as a physical therapist. I realized that the mental, physical work of it really wasn't sustainable. I've been doing it for almost 30 years and my ultimate deep, deep connection and love is to help people and health Like we.
Speaker 2:I tell everybody it is no longer an option. It is essential to take control of your health because we are the one right. It's not going to be anybody else. We are the one that takes control of our health. And again, just like in school that we're not taught some things about finances and relationships, we're also not taught about health and truly true health and how to take care of ourselves. So when I went through my journey going from 40 to 50, I'm now 52, but so many of my friends hitting around that 50 were like wait, how did you go through this? Like with more energy and grace and look good and like all the things. And I realized I took the last 10 years of my life really seriously in taking control of my health and that I can help other women do the same.
Speaker 2:And so I thought you know what, as I'm building out this plan of my physical therapy career into another career, what would that look like? And I was like I could help the woman. I once was right and really start helping with health and in podcast books. There's so much out there today that people can listen to and learn. But what the number one thing is is we all know what to do, but we're not doing that, what we're supposed to do and I realized that I could be that coach for people.
Speaker 2:It's just a coach, a guide, a help. Nope, tweak this, do this, did you do this? Have you done this? Oh yeah, in that, literally like unpacking, if women want and they want to go crazy, like let's do extensive blood work and your DNA testing and all this stuff, we can go crazy and it's it's fun to know the data out there today about health so we can do that as well. But no matter what, we give ourselves up to everybody else in raising children, taking care of our parents, running our communities, and we often neglect us. So now, if I can help women come back to themselves and help with their own health, if we're on our A game now, we can have a bigger impact. If we're not on our A game, we can't be our best for everybody else that we want to serve, and I know that if you put women in charge, bigger things and better things are going to happen. Therefore, we need to take the best health control of our health versus always putting ourselves last.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Such a passion.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. So how long have you been doing this for, just specifically coaching?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I started in COVID season and now really, I've made the transition full-time for about the past year to year and a half and it's been so fun, so fun and honestly there's so many things that we can do in life that it's easier. It's actually easier than we think to take back control of our health and feel better.
Speaker 1:Okay, so coming to the end here, like tell me what the thing you're most passionate about these days is and like the thing you'd like to talk to the most people about.
Speaker 2:Oh, all right. So let me I'll leave everybody kind of like my my most passionate thing, but also like my most simple tip for your audience that everybody could do to really start feeling better and, um, I kind of say like in the morning. If you can win the morning, you're going to win your day. Like you guys have all known, if you have a chaotic morning, chances are you're not going to rock the rest of your day.
Speaker 2:if you have a chaotic morning, chances are you're not going to rock the rest of your day. Yes, oh, I know that. We know that you can really win the morning. The chances of winning the day are pretty good, right? So, in winning the morning, what does that look like? Well, putting one, putting you first so I'm not talking about what you need to do with your kids and get all organized or other things, but like, let's just start with you. We know that as we sleep and we're preparing ourselves for already the next day, in that process of healing, repairing, um, our body gets significantly dehydrated and our body is laying still during them.
Speaker 2:I mean, we're turning over in the night but we're not moving heavily, Right? So first thing in the morning when we get up, if we need to rehydrate ourselves because we haven't put anything in our body for eight, seven, eight, 10 hours maybe, Right, yeah, so they say clinical research says 17 ounces. I'm just telling people, right, Pick 16 to 20 ounces. A full glass of water, drink a full glass of water. The first thing that you in the morning when you wake up, before you're even brushing your teeth or anything, get that full glass of water down. That will actually help boost your metabolism 30 to 40% for the first several hours of your day. Oh, interesting.
Speaker 2:I just don't mean like metabolism, like fat burning, but your metabolic health and all of your regulations, of your neurotransmitters and hormones, but your metabolic health and all of your regulations, of your neurotransmitters and hormones.
Speaker 2:Get yourself hydrated, first thing. The second thing is is we need to nourish our mind. How we think about the world and the thoughts we put in our mind in the morning are going to set us off for the day. So, right, don't have your phone be the first thing you're looking at, and whether for some people be meditation, some people food journaling, some people reading the Bible, some people just quiet affirmations, but nourish your mind with something good, something positive, something right Like we have to start our day in and how we choose. We choose just like we can choose our clothes. We need to choose our mindset for the day, very, very important.
Speaker 2:So spend five minutes at the at a minimum nourishing your mind and then spend five minutes moving your body, and whether that's standing on a vibe plate, whether that's a little mini walk, whether that's just doing some pushups and sit-ups, whether that's for yoga poses and stretching, get your body Like it's just like you need to. You know, get the wheels turning. Lubricate the joints like wake up, because in all of that is also your body's engine that works with the circadian rhythm of all. The engines need to fire in the morning. So the body needs to know it's go time. And by accessing a little bit I don't mean going to work out Maybe you'd like some people like to work out first thing but I just mean in general, give yourself five minutes of movement, drink your water, nourish your mind for five minutes, move for five minutes and you're. You're already setting your day off for a win.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. Okay, yeah, I'm huge into my morning routines. I think I noticed that my hangup is like I don't have enough time to spend the amount of time doing each thing I want to, unless I get up really early. I'm like I want to meditate for half an hour and I want to do a workout for 40 minutes and I'm like that's just not feasible for me. But I love the idea that it's not like like you can spend five minutes and it's just like a jumpstart and waking you right up to to goodness for the whole day. I love that.
Speaker 2:Cause if we have, if we want to have those big goals and the chances of us actually completing them every day are slim to none. But if you can have these micro habits that, no matter what, those are non-negotiable, that's going to literally take 10 minutes of your day. We waste 10 minutes doing so many other things. So take 10 minutes a day because, also, if you do that every day, you're also giving yourself self-trust and self-confidence, because you're doing what you said you're going to do. You're honoring yourself. Yeah, and if you'd have a big goal, let's just take your two goals Right, and you don't do it. You almost feel bad that you didn't do it. Then you give yourself some bad self-talk and then everything else goes down Right, it's a spiral, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So it's really the whole thing about you know tiny habits, stacking them with things you're already doing during the day, and you'll find that it's just when they become. You're just doing them without even thinking right, it's just unconscious. Now You're just doing this unconsciously because you know that's what sets up your day for success and you feel better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, I love all that. Okay, last question I have for you, because I know you're a health coach and I know you represent this really great company, life Vantage right, that's what they're called. What's your most recommended product to help with someone's health?
Speaker 2:Oh, my gosh, or what you're most passionate about. Okay, so it kind of goes hand in hand. And if you, if you look on my website or even on my you know link tree, I'll have my number one health hack right. My number one thing I tell people is um, I think everybody's have heard about today that we are more in control of our genes than we ever thought before.
Speaker 2:We just thought oh, my family has diabetes, heart disease, cancer, I'll get it too. But now we know that's not true. But if you can regulate your gene expression to keep your good genes on and your bad genes off, you're going to set yourself up for long-term health. As we age in the environment, it unfortunately wreaks havoc on our body.
Speaker 2:So, if we can make sure we're doing that. That's amazing. So there's a product called Pertandum Nerve 2. It's going to regulate your gene expression. It is super easy one pill good to go. And along with that, everybody has talked about a collagen product. I wish this was called something different, but there is a liquid collagen that activates your body's genes to produce more collagen.
Speaker 2:But when you take these two things together, the number one thing we all have in our life is stress, and cellular stress then leads to autoimmune cancer. Long COVID Cellular stress can lead to everything you don't want. These two products together regulate the body's cellular stress defense mechanism to help your body back into balance, back into homeostasis. And it's amazing, like, like, if you had to take two things of all your other supplements. Take those two things together. It's called the healthy glow stack. And then, if I can have one little plug, maren, you were talking right before we jumped on that.
Speaker 2:Um, interestingly enough, that's my favorite, because cellular health, longevity, anti-aging is just. I could talk about it all day long, but for most people it's a little bit too out there, Like they think longevity I'm only 40. Why do I need to think about that yet? But the number one topic on most people's minds, honestly, is weight loss, and whether it's I need 10 pounds of weight loss or I need 50 pounds of weight loss, there's still this little chatter in your mind Like I'd like to lose a little weight. And the company that I'm representing is is launching, and by the time this podcast airs maybe it'll be launched. But on October 11th they are launching the first ever all natural GLP one activating product that, instead of having to take a weight loss drug, you can now take an all natural product that activates these pathways in your body, so that your body starts understanding that satiety, having less hunger, hormones, feeling fuller faster making better food choices, everything that these drugs are giving to people.
Speaker 2:this is doing, and better, without any of the side effects, and and helping people manage their blood sugar with the insulin and glucose. So I know true, metabolic health is the key to long-term health and wellness, whether it's cardiovascular disease, whether that's you know, stroke, heart attack, alzheimer's, you name it. So if you can help support your metabolic health, you're in for a lifetime of health, and so I'm really excited to bring this product to people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so is it. It's just like a pill you take every day, like a normal supplement, like that it's a two-part product.
Speaker 2:It's a pill you take in the morning, first thing, um, and then it's a little powder. You mix in something. Uh, later in the day that you, after you take the pill, you're not supposed to eat for 30 minutes. Then after that you go on your day. Then you can mix this powder into anything else could be in water, a drink, a smoothie, whatever you want. Um, it's a two-part product. It's super easy and I just love the fact that there's of everybody in the clinical trials plus everybody in the pre-launch. There is been zero reports of side effects.
Speaker 1:Hmm, so it's similar to like semaglutide, or oh. Oh, what's the word? Yeah, ozempic.
Speaker 2:All of those Okay. So the one distinction I will make right is when you take a drug those are pharmaceutical agent, a synthetic it goes into your body and it says I will act like this other thing. So if we're talking about weight loss, it's going in and saying I will act like your GLP, one hormone but eventually the body says, uh, you're not it. You look like it, but you're not it, and it stops working. So then you need to get more. Or it says you don't look like it, so I think I'm going to have side effects because you don't. Something's amiss.
Speaker 2:So, that's what happens in pharma. When you activate a pathway, naturally you're using all herbal ingredients to say hey, pathway, wake up, start turning back on again, start working like you used to. So there isn't, it recognizes it. There's no foreign object, it's not like so. Therefore you don't get side effects. Therefore, you're naturally supporting the body and so it works in the manner of giving you the same ultimate results. But it's it's action in the body is actually working differently. But people are going to get the wow. My brain fog is cleared, I'm having more energy, my body fat percentage is shrinking. I mean, the inches people are losing is phenomenal. And again, we can all change our body composition to have more muscle mass. Muscle is the organ of longevity, so everybody wants more muscle.
Speaker 1:Oh, interesting. Okay, Talk to me quickly then about it, cause I have more questions. Um, but how does it compare in like price for like versus like the pharma? Yeah, it's a really great question.
Speaker 2:You know everybody's paying different prices in pharma because some people are having it paid on insurance and they're only paying a copay. So I've heard of people paying as low as just their copay right Of $25, $40, to some people that are paying two or $300. I've heard people paying over a thousand dollars. It really varied out there. So I thought when this product was going to launch that it was going to be several hundred dollars because that's what the marketplace really is showing and this people can have access for 179 bucks for a month. I mean I was like wow, that is super reasonable. I mean people are paying so much money for all sorts of other crazy weight loss stuff really reasonable. Supporting your body, getting your body back to work. You're going to feel great and um. And there's other pricing, right, if people only want to buy something one time like a retail price, it's a little bit more.
Speaker 2:If people want to ever say, like well, I know tons of people that want to lose weight or feel better. You can have lower pricing as well if you're in the business, but if you're just somebody that wants it to use it as a consumer, 179 bucks and you're good to go. It's pretty great. Cool, but it's not going to break, you know, somebody's bank. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, very cool. Ooh, thank you for sharing all that. I love that. I love that you have, like, a very mindful and natural approach to your health that really fits with the whole. Like you're, you look at it from a whole holistic perspective, right, everything all together, and I love that about you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. And then, mira, I'm just, I can just kind of end for your listeners that if anybody's like, wow, this is fun, myself and my business partner who's Dr Heidi Rosabal she's a naturopath and a functional medicine practitioner Her and I together are having a three-day retreat out in Dallas First, second and third. It's Friday night the first and then the second and the third. We'd love to open it up to your listeners. We've had early bird pricing that's going to end in September. But for your listeners if they say like, hey, I found you through Merit or through who Podcast, then I'm happy to offer you guys early bird pricing to make sure that your audience gets gets the best price If they want to come spend a couple of days on an amazing property with amazing food and truly incredible other like like-minded health. Women love to have you.
Speaker 1:Ooh, that sounds fun. Okay, yeah, and I'll have all the information and links and everything in the show notes so you can find you easily. Oh, thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Kelly, this was awesome. Love it, love it, love it. You guys just uh, such a pleasure to be here and to have fun. And then I always tell people hopefully you walked away with one thing that you feel good about, that you can change in your life.
Speaker 1:Uh well, I walked away with a lot more than one. All right, awesome, yep.