Unfiltered Christian Podcast
Welcome to "Unfiltered Christian," a podcast where faith meets authenticity. Join me as we share the raw and real experiences of our Christian journey, navigating the highs and lows of life. Through heartfelt testimonials and candid conversations, we'll explore the challenges and triumphs of living a life of faith. Whether you're struggling or soaring, this podcast aims to uplift, encourage, and remind you that you're never alone in your walk with Christ. Tune in for genuine insights, relatable stories, and a community of believers striving to grow together.
Unfiltered Christian Podcast
Ep 5 - Recognising Abuse and Healing Through Faith PART 2
What if the key to healing lies in the courage to face your deepest pains? This week on Unfiltered Christian, Cece and Shea welcome back Maya, who continues her powerful story of overcoming a nine-year abusive relationship. Hear how Maya's grandmother's passing became the catalyst for her to finally break free from the toxic environment. She also shares the struggles she faced with co-parenting and the manipulation that challenged her determination. Maya's raw and honest narrative provides an inspiring look at how therapy and a new, loving partner helped her close that painful chapter and reclaim her life.
Our discussion encompasses more than just escape and recovery. We explore the journey of seeking therapy, emphasizing the importance of perseverance in finding the right therapist. We look at different therapeutic approaches such as CBT, person-centered therapy, and EMDR, especially within the context of cultural and religious stigmas. Maya's story of reconnecting with a past partner underscores the complexities of love and personal growth, highlighting the necessity of understanding and processing past relationships for a healthier future.
As we navigate the challenges of maintaining faith amidst life's trials, we focus on the struggles of resisting temptation and the importance of sincere prayer. This episode emphasizes nurturing healthy relationships and self-care strategies, including the benefits of abstinence for clarity and positivity. Maya’s poignant journey of reintroducing herself to God serves as a testament to the resilience and strength that faith can provide. Join us for a deeply moving discussion on resilience, healing, and the transformative power of faith.
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To ask us a question email us @ unfilteredchristian1@gmail.com
Welcome to Unfiltered Christian with Cece and Shea.
Speaker 2:Come and join us on an authentic journey through the highs and lows of our Christian faith.
Speaker 1:Where we'll be holding nothing back. Hey guys, welcome back to Unfiltered Christian, a podcast for part two. Being in an abusive relationship, um. So if you haven't listened to part one yet, go through, look for it. It will be labeled part one as we get into part two. So welcome back, maya, thank you. Thank you. So where we started off, we're going to start off with. So with partner one, you told him to leave. Now the question that I wanted to ask was it easy to get him to go and where did you get all of this? Obviously, we know you got it from the Lord, but where did you get all of this power? From the fact that you were being manipulated, abused, mentally treated like a child. Anything you were doing, you was questioned like where, what happened? Where did this super maya come from?
Speaker 2:um. I guess it was the loss of my grandma and just knowing how much she loved me, um, and all her grandchildren, um, and how much she always said to me, she wants me to be happy, more than anything, she just wants me to be happy, um, and so I was just processing it in my head like I'm not happy. You know, I think her death really got me thinking about my life and about just life in general, and that gave me the strength to say to him, not say no, no, hold on. It didn't give me the strength to say to him anything at that point, but I was trying to get the courage to eventually say to him look, this needs to end completely. What was happening? But six months before my grandma passed away, he actually wasn't living with me. I had kicked him out, um, so he would come every so often um back to me to obviously see the kids.
Speaker 1:Um was that easy to get him out, like no, going back six months like no, what was that like?
Speaker 2:say to his mom. I had to call his mom and say look, this is a situation you need to get your son to leave. Um, what got me to that point was, like I said in the first part, was the cheating. It just got too much. The arguing that's it as well. That's it. The arguing in front of the kids, that was another thing, because I had grown up in a household of arguing. Um, I know the anxiety that I felt.
Speaker 2:And then I was very conscious that, oh my goodness, my children are going through what I went through and that's exactly what I didn't want my own children to go through right then, when I saw that he started turning the kids against me, um, by saying, you know, by going up to them after we'd argued oh, mommy, you know, all she wants to do is argue. I'm so sad. Look what she's doing to me, girls. Look what she's doing to me, oh, wow, like, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh. Um.
Speaker 2:It's weird because I can talk about this now because I had I had therapy for this. I had EMDR, I had um talking therapy, the NHS, private um CBT, I had everything um. So, as much as it is bringing up a lot of emotion, um, I'm able to talk about it um better than I would have done years, a couple years back, um, because it's now been what? Four years since we've been together. Now I think I don't even know three years, four years, three, three or four years now, um, but I guess what brought me to um to actually ending it?
Speaker 2:So, even though he wasn't here, he was still coming over and we were still acting like a family, um the kids. But I didn't want him in my home like that anymore. I wanted my keys back. You know, sometimes he would stay over um and I was just like. It still feels like we're together. It still feels like, you know, he's got a hold of over me and the final push was meeting partner two, um, so that's that's what gave me, um the final push to actually say this is it now no more?
Speaker 1:okay, so you got your keys back yes, so I got my keys back.
Speaker 2:Um, he didn't take the breakup, the official breakup, very well. Um, he tried to lure me back in. You know, try. He took out the engagement ring and she was trying to put it on my finger. Say you know, I was going to talk to your dad about marrying you. I'm thinking we're nine years in if you're gonna marry me, do you know what I mean? Like yeah, it would have been done already. Um, and yeah it. It just got to the point where I was just like this can't be my life. I've.
Speaker 1:This has been nine years now and nothing's changing when he when he actually left, because even though, yes, he wasn't in the apartment for six months, however, you guys were still playing family when he used to come over and one or two nights he would stay over. But when you officially closed that door somewhat because you still got a child with him, how was you mentally?
Speaker 2:The only way I could probably describe it was I, I don't know. I, mentally, I just wasn't there. It's like my body. I was there, physically present, but mentally I didn't know who I was anymore. I was just so insecure. Um, it's not until I went to therapy. Sorry, there's a lot of pauses. I'm just trying to think it's not until I went to therapy. Sorry, there's a lot of pauses. I'm just trying to think it's not until I went to therapy that I realised what I actually went through with him. And how long did it take you to get to take your first session of therapy oh gosh.
Speaker 2:Um, I would say it was pretty quick to be, fair. Um, I'll say about the first. Within the first month I signed up for therapy, I was doing I was also doing therapy through the during the relationship, um, and I was letting the therapist know how I was feeling in terms of the emotional abuse and the control yeah um, but post relationship. Yeah, it took me about a month.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, I'd just like to do a side note here For anybody that wants to try counselling never give up. There's so many different types of fairies out there, and if one doesn't work for you, try another. Do not give up. Not give up. Um, it takes a lot to even and well done to you, maya, for even stepping up. It takes a lot because you're taught, especially in certain cultures, that you don't need a counselor, um, or you've got people within the church as well that just says sometimes you just need the lord and yes, but the lord said that you must also help yourself. So, yes, he is your, he will never leave you nor forsake you. But it's important to also sort out your mental health, um. So when you go through the process, sometimes you might get somebody who's cbt, which is cognitive, cognitive behavior therapy. You might, um get person-centered um. I know Maya's done one that I've never heard of before EMDR, yeah, so there's so many. Do your research. Um.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you just don't connect with that person, and that too, is okay. There's not anybody that you're just gonna. You're about to be vulnerable with somebody, somebody, a stranger that you don't know. And if you don't connect, it's okay. Um, I'm a qualified counselor as well, so we'll also train that. Um, there's no negative feeling if you don't connect with that person. If somebody says, I feel like you're not the best one for me, that's fine. Um, go for a next one, and there's free services out there. There's also paid services for people who can afford it. Um, there's going to be links below as well, um, where you can get help, that counselling. You meet partner two. Is he new, is he? I don't know who is partner two.
Speaker 2:Well, not exposing too much of him, but yeah um, okay, so partner two isn't new, or wasn't new. Um, I'm just gonna put a little disclaimer here that I might get a bit emotional, because I'm still processing this side um of things. Um, so, whereas I had a few years to process my partner one's relationship, this is still pretty new. Um, so, please, you know, excuse me if my voice wavers a bit or whatnot, but um, thank you for time. Thank you for your vulnerability um, it's okay.
Speaker 2:So, partner two um, we actually were together when we were younger, um around 18, 19, 20. We were in each other's lives up until, I'd say, 23. Um, we lived together about my grandma's um and my grandma would say that he was a grandson to her. Okay, they were very close um he this is what I felt at like before meeting him sorry, before um meeting back up with him again that he was the only person that I felt, outside of my grandma, that truly loves me. Um, from a relationship um standpoint, he would do anything for me. Uh, he protected me. Um and things like that.
Speaker 2:But because I wasn't in the right headspace to know what actual love felt like, it was alien to me. So he was giving me this love. I saw it as control. Maybe part of it was elements of control, and this is back when I'm 18, 19, 20. So I kind of thought, oh my gosh, this is too much. You know, because I grew up with control from my parents and it was a bit maybe I was identifying our relationship like that. But to him, you know, when we had this conversation um later on in life, he was just like no, that was just his way of showing me love. He just wanted to protect me.
Speaker 2:So, when my grandma passed, um, partner two got in contact with me, um, and he was actually wanting my grandma's number because, you know, he did, throughout the years, go there every so often to see her. And then that's when I said to him she had passed, unfortunately, and that's when we decided not decided but that's when we got closer, because he was asking questions and then we were both grieving and mourning her together, right, okay. But then we started talking about the relationship that we had and how, you know, I had hurt him. Ok, I didn't know how much I had hurt him until we discussed it later on in life. So I hurt him because I split up up with him. I did the right thing. I didn't cheat or anything like that. You know, I was honest enough to say, look, this isn't, you know, we, this isn't like for us, that this isn't it, even though I knew I loved him and that he loved me and I knew that we would be together forever if I stayed. Yeah, but for whatever reason, um, it just wasn't working for me. And did you have the Lord in your life at that time? No, not at all, not at all, um, and so you know, later on in life he told me how he reacted to it, how the things that he had done in terms of, like, his mental health spiraling, all of this, and I honestly didn't know and I felt so bad. So I just want to highlight this important part. Okay, here, in terms of manipulation, right, he used my, my guilt, like he made me feel guilty about the past. Okay, so that's very important to the dynamic of our relationship, right, um?
Speaker 2:So he then, um, said to me that he'd split up with um, well, he's no longer together with, um, the mother of his two children. Um, so this is so, this lady um he actually got into a relationship with after me, yeah, um, I'll say around 23 um, and you know they'd recently split up, um, and things like that. So we started going, growing, growing closer. You know, he said that he's never stopped loving me, you know. And then I was like, oh, my gosh, you know, I remember when he used to do this for me, that for me, like he loved me so much, right, and then I started comparing the relationship in terms of the love partner one had for me versus partner two, right, and I guess that also made me feel like this needs to end, so, yeah, so when partner two got in contact with me, I was getting ready to end it with partner one, ok, so we were just talking via messaging. That was it, I think. A week of us talking, I said to partner one look, this is it, that's it. Now we can't do this, and the reason being was because I realized that I deserved love, real love, um, and I wasn't getting it from partner one, um, and that's how I ended it there.
Speaker 2:Then, once that was done, I was getting closer to partner two again. We were reminiscing about the past. It was up and down, um, because it was quite emotional for us both, um, and then I fell pregnant with my third child for partner two quite quickly, um, very quickly actually, I'll say within two months of us rekindling our love, and I want to put that in inverted commas um. So I was entering into this relationship still broken from the first one, still insecure, um, even more so now thinking, oh, my goodness, I've got two kids, you know, like, who's gonna want me? And I shouldn't, I should not have even been thinking about man, you know about my next relationship, but I was. You know how do I look now? I've got two kids, two different men, you know, and it was a lot. It was a lot. So in my head, you know, maybe I was delusional, but I was just like, okay, partner two, he's come back, we can try again, we can start again.
Speaker 2:You know we're older, we're wiser, we can make this work. You can continue the fairy tale. We can continue the fairy tale, right? I'm not going to go into too much because I don't think you'll be able to understand me through the crying um, but what I want to highlight here is that he did make me feel guilty throughout the relationship. He played me against the mother of his children, um, the older two um, and he made me feel inferior, right again, a lot of emotional and mental abuse by the things that he was saying, things that he was doing. Um. Then I found out he was cheating with her because she had called me up to tell me that's then is the two children, the two older children.
Speaker 2:This was while she was pregnant I had just had our daughter and then, I guess I'd say two months after having our daughter, I found that out. So, yeah, so I was distraught. You know I was going through postnatal depression, you know, everything was just happening.
Speaker 2:I still hadn't had the time to grieve for my grandma. I was going through the ups and downs of the previous relationship ending. Then I was going through the mental abuse with partner two and every minute throwing in the guilt you know'd me being me. I just felt bad, you know, for making him suffer in the way that I did, even though I ended the relationship. Um, so then it got to the point where my mental health started deteriorating even more.
Speaker 2:Okay, so, bearing in mind I hadn't even healed from the first one, okay, um, part of the two used to say really nasty things to me, really horrible things to me. He would only use me. I'm not going to go into that. I think you can understand where I'm going wrong with that. I just felt low to the point where I started even obsessing over the mother of his eldest children. Okay, um, I just, I just lost my mind. I don't know if there's any other way of putting it. Um, it was hard having three kids, you know, at that time and having to pretend that you're okay. Um, sorry, take your time, take your time.
Speaker 2:This is unfiltered because I was so strong in the first one. Now I'm just like, um, you know, going into the bathroom and crying, breaking down, and then coming out of the bathroom and being, hey, girls, come on, let's play, you know, and that is very draining. Or having a conversation with partner two and he's literally calling you the scum of the earth and praising the mother of his eldest kids, all at the same time and knowing full well he's going back to her, coming back to you, not taking any interest in his child with me that he had with me. It was heartbreaking, Heartbreaking, you know.
Speaker 2:And then dealing with the aftermath of partner one as well yeah, and him making my life hell, spreading rumors and lies about me, and I was going through so much, so much, so much, and I had friends and you know, oh my gosh, why. I don't know how you do it, um, and I know they meant it in a good way, like in an encouraging way or inspirational way, but to me it just felt like I'm not doing it. You know, no one knows what I'm going through mentally, the conversations I have, and it got to the point where I was on the floor in my kitchen and I screamed out and I said God, help me please. I screamed at the top of my lungs to the point so bad that my body hurt. And then, from then I, from then I, from then I um decided to take my relationship with God seriously.
Speaker 2:Um, it's weird because even with my, in my relationship with partner too, like you know, they say like I see it on TikTok as well um, where you pray this one prayer like God, please reveal to me who isn't for me, whatnot, and that prayer, god answers the next day. Yeah, I, I went on my knees right and I said Lord, if this relationship isn't for me, if this person isn't for me, please reveal it to me next day. That's when his ex calls me to tell me what happened wow so.
Speaker 1:So that was your first encounter with the lord and maybe we're going like 10, 11 years now, even though you were still doing devotion with your kids, you wasn't. You was doing you there physically, but you wasn't in tune. But at that moment, on your kitchen floor, yeah, that's when you remembered your father.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, um. So, and then there were other times where my kitchen floor is like the place to be, I think, like other times I've been on my knees there, screaming, crying, screaming. Like it's intense, like the things I was battling with and no one would understand. No one can understand, because they're not you, they're not, they don't know what you went through. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:like you can tell them like I'm telling my story but no one's ever going to fully understand, because they haven't been through what I went through and how hard it is to pick yourself up every single day. You know I stopped eating right, this is after partner two and whatever happened, I stopped eating you know, I just stopped believing, like in life, like why am I here?
Speaker 2:You know? Like what's the the point? Now I've got three kids by three different men. You know what is society gonna think? What am I gonna look like? All of these things were going through my head and it got to the point where I was just like I need to go back to God. Okay, god is calling me to him. No man can help me. My mum, my dad, my friends, my family nobody can help me. They haven't helped me this far Right, from a kid all the way up until my big old age. No one can help me but God.
Speaker 1:No one, and you know what you made me think of when you said that your kitchen is a place. In um matthew 6, verses 6, I'm reading from the new king james version.
Speaker 2:It says but you, when you pray, go to your room and when you have shut the door, pray to your father who is in the secret place, and your father, who sees in secret, will reward you openly yes, that's deep, yes, yeah, and you know what that scripture in itself is, why now, from this year, right I, every time I pray, I pray in my room and I close the door, right, I'm on my knees. I even cover my hair, I'm on my knees and I'm praying. Right Before, I used to do these little prayers five-minute prayers, two-minute prayers I didn't feel my prayers. Now I'm praying for half an hour, amen, you know. And that's a massive thing for me, because I was always the one that was always scared to pray. I didn't believe that I was good enough to pray. You know, I've got prayer warriors like you. Cece, yeah, that would pray for me and I'm like I wish I could pray like that. You know where does she get the words, where does she get the inspiration?
Speaker 1:and now I know, you know, now I know, so, um, I just like to know it ain't got nothing to do with me, y'all that's the Holy Spirit.
Speaker 2:But um, yeah so I think this year, especially um from January this year, I've taken my faith with God seriously, like a hundred percent seriously. From January, no, not yes, I'm seriously. But I'll say from April this year, I have read the bible. I'm reading the bible um a scripture and sorry, a chapter. Um each day, each night, sorry before bed. Um, I'm doing bible study, praying every day. If I do miss one day, you know I feel so bad and I'll make it up the next day. Um and listen.
Speaker 1:I haven't listened to secular music since April um, and secular music means like worldly music for people that don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah um, because I just, I'm just a different person. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm still battling, I'm still healing, I'm still healing. I'm still emotional, things still hurt, but now I can say things like so instead, before you know, you know it's like oh, don't worry, taz in my head, don't worry, you'll be fine, don't worry. Now I'm like no, god doesn't give us a spirit of fear, you know, but of power and of love and of a sound mind like this is what I'm saying you know, I'm using God's word to lift me up now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, even like in um, in terms of my business, I'm like God is, god is within her, she will not fail. You know, like, think like. This is how I speak to myself yeah you know.
Speaker 1:So I've come a long way, I've come a long way back to that point on the floor, though, how easy was it to pick up your bible, whereas where has it been alien to you for all these years? Was there struggles to reconnect with reading?
Speaker 2:So one thing I can say right, as much as I didn't have God within me, like I didn't pursue God, let's say right, um, for all those years like a decade now um, god was always with me and I always felt God was with me. I can't explain to you how right. I just felt a presence always and in my head. I knew what I had to do, but I was fighting it. I knew I had to pray, I was fighting it. There were times throughout those 10, 11 years don't get me wrong that I did try to pick up a Bible, but I was reading the verses. I'm just like oh, this makes no sense to me, I'm bored.
Speaker 1:I'm never going to get it.
Speaker 2:I'll just pray, ask God to. Okay, I prayed. I asked God to help me. No, still didn't get it. Do you get what? I mean, I did try and pray, but it was like three minutes, like am I even doing this? Right? These are the things that I was saying in my head, and then it was. I was like just just stop. Or I'm trying to pray before bed. I'm in my bed and I can feel my thoughts tailoring off and I'm praying, and then I'm thinking about tomorrow and work, or something like that. Do you know? So that's what I was experiencing throughout those years.
Speaker 1:When you were coming back to the Lord did Satan ever tempt you Because, fair enough, partner one, that's done and dusted. He healed you with that one, but whereas partner two, like that, was your first and, as you said in better comments, love to someone, did he, even when you were clinging to the Lord? Did he feel like satan was tempting you with partner two? Oh yeah, oh yeah. Can you give us some examples, and for any listeners, of how to overcome, or you know?
Speaker 2:um, so partner two, we have, we've always had a connection like no other, right? Um we, when we're, when we're around each other, when we're together, like he could freely talk to me about anything and everything and me with him, right, and we're very unfiltered with each other as well, like we say things as it is, like we are, we have that we can talk on the phone for hours, up to eight hours sometimes like we have that connection right, and I guess also in terms of a sexual connection, we did as well um, in terms of being tempted.
Speaker 2:So, as I was drawing closer to God, there were times where, you know, partner two would send me a message, you know, um, and I would struggle with not responding to him.
Speaker 2:And it was a real struggle, okay, like I felt the anxiety that I'd had to. I had to send him a message back within seconds, otherwise you know he won't like me or you know he'll be upset with me or angry with me, whereas if I sent partner to a message, he could leave me on red for days and not get back to me, right? So, whilst I was going through, you know, like, my walk with God, see, like, seriously, there was a period where partner to hadn't contacted me for like six weeks and I'll be honest with you, that was the strongest I've ever felt, ever, ever felt, um, I was, I was still upset, I was still trying, I was going through the grieving process, right, of that relationship and everything mentally that had happened to me. Um, and then, after the six weeks, partner two contacted me. Right, and I kid you not, right, I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to pray, right, I didn't want to do bible study, right, I didn't want to do anything. And I was thinking to myself hold on a minute, what is going on here? Why am I feeling? How I'm feeling? Like I'm going back to what I was feeling before, yeah, and I was like, okay, fine, so I, you know I didn't. I responded to that message very like, brief and whatnot.
Speaker 2:And then another two weeks went by. Again I started feeling good again. You know, as, as the days went on, started praying every day. Then they contacted me again out of the blue and I think to myself, no, no, and again I felt like I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to pray. I literally didn't want to pray. I knew I had to, but I was like, no, I'm not praying. Yeah, right, no, I'm not reading the Bible. And I had to push through that. Right, I had to push through that.
Speaker 2:And I kid you not, right, when I felt like that, I went and I prayed, okay, and I even said to God. I said, god, I don't want to pray. I know I don't want to pray. And when I tell you that was the, the best prayer of my life, I was in tears, I was crying. I was like, lord, what's going on? Like, why am I praying? I don't want to pray. You know why has this person got a hold on me, this, that, and then I started praying for to God to forgive him. I was like I don't even want to forgive him, lord.
Speaker 2:Why am I? Why am I asking for his forgiveness, you to forgive him? He's hurt me. I don't want to pray. Why am I praying like it was deep? It was deep so in terms of temptation, yes, right, and how I realized that I was being tempted was all to do with my mind.
Speaker 2:He would, I would get memories or things that partner two would say about the other partner you know and that his ex to make me you know, like down and depressed, and it was, it was a lot, it was a lot, um, but I'm now at that stage where, if they do message me on randomly, you know I still, I pray even harder now. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:I get a message they didn't get behind me when you see that name pop up exactly.
Speaker 2:I'm ready for you now. I'm ready, I'm ready, you know, and I pray for him even harder.
Speaker 1:Yeah you know, because he's dealing with his own demons exactly exactly so wow yeah, this it's. It's been tough, it's been tough what would you say to a listener who had god but feels like they have to let god go for their partner because they feel insecure? Maybe they've never been wanted and any type of attention is attention right, Whether it be good or bad? What would you tell that listener?
Speaker 2:So you made a good point about any type of attention is attention. So I associated attention with love, okay, and that came up in one of my therapy sessions, um, and when I thought about it I was like, oh my gosh, just because he's texting me and wanted to come over and showering me with gifts doesn't mean he loves me, you know, not at all. Like anything that should be a red flag for me, like if he's not showing me anything other than like attention. You know where's the support?
Speaker 1:we ain't saying gifts are bad guys. We're just, we just no.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not saying that no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, but it's a healthy balance You're getting you know the support, you know, like you feel mentally and emotionally safe around them, like you can be yourself around them, like they're there for you as well as you're there for them, like it's a healthy balance, you know. So I would just say that to go within yourself and really, if you, if you feel there's an issue somewhere with your relationship, um, go within yourself, identify those things like if, if they're, if they're making you unhappy sometimes, sometimes they don't even they're not even aware if they're making you unhappy sometimes, sometimes they don't even they're not even aware that they're doing it.
Speaker 1:You know so have that conversation.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying not to have that conversation. And if they're like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, you know, or you'll get the ones that are just like, oh, what are you talking about? Those are the ones that you need to watch out for, because those are the things that you know was said to me. But yeah, I would just say, just be on the lookout. The red flags, you know, are serious. Some of them, you know I was strong enough.
Speaker 2:You know some people are not mentally strong. You know some people don't have a good support network, like I had, and I have an amazing support network, right like the best, so that I was able to get through what I needed to um with that. And you know there are some people out there that don't have a support network. So, oh, yeah, it's a lot. But you know, if you can talk to somebody, especially like the helplines, you know friends, family if you trust them enough to talk to somebody, and God, you know God, the only reason I'm here right now, even doing this podcast, is because of God and nothing and no one else. And that's me coming from somebody that didn't have God in her life, all of her life, really until probably what? 24? And I got baptised. That's when I acknowledged God properly. 24 and I got baptized. That's when I acknowledged God properly. And then obviously I had the 10 to 11 years without God. But yeah, you're still there.
Speaker 1:Yeah my last question for you is abstinence. Um, what would you tell a young person if to wherever they haven't been abstinent, the importance of now waiting until marriage do?
Speaker 2:you know what? It's an amazing thing. Um, it is for me it's important, because obviously I can only talk about from my experience. Um, it's made, it's given me so much more clarity. Um, it's I don't know, I don't know how to say this, but it feels like just say it, like I feel clean, if you get what I mean. Like I feel clean and I feel positive, like it just feels like, you know, like there's no negative energy, um, I'm not consuming any anything negative, no negative energy, and it's like I just feel clean, I feel clear, I have clarity and it's my. You know, a lot of us idolize these men. Yeah, um, we put them before, before God, you know, and I've seen some women put them before their children, right, um, and the same for men. If there's any men watching this as well, I don't want to leave you guys out, but you know, you know some men will idolize women and put women before their children. And, yeah, I just, I just feel that sorry, I'm trying not to get emotional again, but just put God first.
Speaker 1:And when they feel tempted, and the temptations to be non-abstinent.
Speaker 2:Pray, get on your knees and pray. What's helped me is doing something, trying to just do something else. You know, like, just like I've fought, trust me, I've fought um with partner two in terms of like my emotions and trying to stay abstinent, like you just have to. You just have to have that strength, some from some. We get that strength from somewhere to like just fight it. You know um, because it's not, it's not easy. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, it's not um, it took me a very long time to get to this point, but once you're here, it's the best thing ever and it's like even now, like I don't want to do anything. I don't want to go down that route until I'm married.
Speaker 1:So, um, yeah, sorry, thank the lord for bringing you through no um, even though it's been many years. But when the Bible says the narrow path is not easy, it's really not and you went through so many different transitions. Hurt, but through it all, like the song says, you learnt to trust in Jesus and you cried out to him and you are still here and you're not saying it's an easy road no way, but with prayer and supplication and fasting, you're able to push through.
Speaker 1:Be the best mother that you can and wait for your husband. I just want to say thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for your time. You're welcome. I'd just like to say a special prayer. Dear Heavenly Father, I just want to thank you for allowing us to be here.
Speaker 1:Lord, I pray for all your children all over the world who are dealing with any type of abuse, whether it be mental, physically, emotionally and socially. Lord, I pray that they will find the strength just like how you've given Maya, just like how you've given your children in the Bible as well the strength to overcome, that they too will be able to give their testimony and, lord, even when they may fall short or feel like they've neglected you. Lord, may they never forget that you're just a prayer away. Be with them, continue to heal them, as this is a journey. Lord, if there's anything stopping this prayer from being heard, I pray that it be with me. In your name, I pray Amen. And again, I'd just like like to say if you're going through things, you can call the samaritans line and they're open 365 days a year on 116 123. It's free from any phone, that's 116 123. You can either email joe, which is jo jo at samaritansorg If you're experiencing mental health problems, or you're dealing with somebody with mental health problems. You can call the SANE line on 0300 304 7000. That's 0300 304 7, triple 0. And for people who are not really a talker but you prefer to text, there's an organisation called Shout. They're 24 7,. You can text them on 85258. That's 85258.
Speaker 1:So thank you guys for tuning in. Thank you, maya again. Um, thank you for being vulnerable, and do you have any last words before we peace out?
Speaker 2:um, no, um, but just always keep god in your life. You know, it's definitely going to be up and down, struggle, um, especially when you, you know, introduce yourself back with him. But just keep going. Just keep going.
Speaker 1:It'll be worth it in the end thank you, guys for listening to the unfiltered christian podcast and we'll see you very soon.