Unfiltered Christian Podcast
Welcome to "Unfiltered Christian," a podcast where faith meets authenticity. Join me as we share the raw and real experiences of our Christian journey, navigating the highs and lows of life. Through heartfelt testimonials and candid conversations, we'll explore the challenges and triumphs of living a life of faith. Whether you're struggling or soaring, this podcast aims to uplift, encourage, and remind you that you're never alone in your walk with Christ. Tune in for genuine insights, relatable stories, and a community of believers striving to grow together.
Unfiltered Christian Podcast
Ep 14 - Unequally Yolk
Navigating relationships can be a complex journey, especially when faith and spirituality play a central role. Have you ever wondered what it truly means to be "unequally yoked" in marriage? Join us as we share personal stories of love, faith, and the emotional challenges that arise when partners differ in their religious commitments. We reflect on the advice from a respected church member and the difficult decisions that shaped our paths, offering insights into the delicate balance between heartfelt love and spiritual guidance.
Differences in religious practices can be a source of both tension and growth in a marriage. Through personal experiences, we explore the dynamics of denominational differences and their impact on marital expectations. From lifestyle choices to the complexities of raising children, these stories highlight the importance of shared faith while acknowledging the potential hurdles of interfaith marriages. We delve into the long-term implications of religious differences and the necessity of having open, honest conversations about faith early in a relationship.
Interfaith relationships often present unique challenges, but they also offer opportunities for deeper connection through shared morals and values. We recount anecdotes from various perspectives, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and spiritual alignment in choosing a partner. You'll hear about successes and struggles, like a friend's aunt who navigated a marriage between Christianity and Islam, allowing their children to choose their own faith path. We offer encouragement and wisdom for those facing similar challenges, reminding listeners of the importance of nurturing a strong spiritual foundation in every relationship.
Thank you for Listening
To ask us a question email us @ unfilteredchristian1@gmail.com
Welcome to the Unfiltered Christian podcast with Cece and Shea.
Speaker 2:Come and join us on an authentic journey through the highs and lows of our Christian faith where nothing but the truth is spoken. Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Unfiltered Christian. I'm Shea and I'm Cece. So, guys, it's my question this week, so let's get straight into it. So what is it like to be married to someone that is unequally yoked? Should we define unequally yoked first, before you answer?
Speaker 1:do you know what's funny? The other day I should have I I found out that when you marry somebody who's unequally yoked, because you are saved, they're now protected. However, I would like to say this I personally wouldn't advise um unequally yoked relationships okay, stop there.
Speaker 1:I want you to define unequally yoked for someone that might not understand what that means so unequally yoked basically means somebody who is not practicing the same faith as you, and the reason why I say faith is because you could be a christian but you're from two different denominations your, your beliefs are different. So I would say, dating somebody that is the same faith or denomination as you. Um, so my husband is a christian, but he's not a practicing christian um yeah okay so he would say that he's.
Speaker 1:If you ask him, like, what religion are you or what do you believe in, he will say he's a christian, but he's not a practicing christian, while me, on the other hand, I'm a practicing christian, but um, yeah, and how I ended up in this position is is very funny, because he could have been saved, he, he still can be saved because we believe in faith, and he will be saved. Amen, amen, um amen however, me and my husband, we've been dating on and off since I was 20 yeah yeah, so when I was 20.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, when I. So when I was 20. That's when I started to take my, my faith seriously. And when I was 21 I think I was either 21 or 22, I got baptized and we was in a relationship and I was. That was my days when I was a strong Christian. Yeah, I wasn't practicing. I was a Christian Like I took everything serious, from my music, what I ate, how I dressed and the conversations that I entertained.
Speaker 1:I didn't watch anything that wasn't representing christ. So all my tv shows that I watched if it had um fornication in it, adultery, swearing, whatever, like I wasn't seeing it as oh, it's a romantic movie or I was just like, no, we shouldn't be watching this. Like I was on my p's and q's and um. It's funny because hubby was born here but he moved to the Caribbean when he was like 13 and then at the time he was going to university in America and me and his sister were best friends because we went to dancing school. So I'm doing a little backlog here and we he came back when, I don't know, maybe he was 21 and that was the first time coming back to England from since the time that he left and we rekindled our friendship. So it was nothing, it was platonic. And um, he was just like, wow, you know, like you're, like, you're a christian. Um, like, yeah, you're a serious one. He's never met somebody that was like me. And I said to him, yeah, and then he told me that he liked me and I was just like, well, you know, I can't date you because you're not for me, you know. And he started to want to know about the Lord. He wanted to know. Every time he came to London, he used to go church with me. We used to pray together. I'm going back in a day of like CD times, like I used to make him like Christian, like CDs, and post them to him to America for him to listen to, and stuff like that, and everything was going well because I was praying about it.
Speaker 1:However, there was somebody that I looked up to in the church world and she used to give Bible studies. She was a very strong character within our church and I was excited to say, like I'm dating somebody. So dating means that you're feeling somebody out. You're not together, but you're. You guys are talking to each other, you're trying to see where it's gonna go. And I literally said to her like you know, I'm talking to somebody, I'm dating somebody. Um, he is learning Christ, but he's not there yet.
Speaker 1:And I remember her telling me that, like you know, it's not of God and, um, I need to leave him. And I was just like, but he's trying, and, um, she was just like, no, we need to find you somebody in the church. Um, and I was just like, okay, and I didn't know where to go because I was praying to the lord, but I was thinking she's old, because I was young, she's older than me, like she knows, bearing in mind and I'm not throwing shade here or anything like that she wasn't married, do you know what I mean? Um, and she didn't. She believed that her path was to witness and to save souls, so she didn't want to be married.
Speaker 1:And so I listened to her and I remember we were coming up to our one year anniversary, we had it and it was nice and whatever. And then I broke the news to him and I said you know, I cannot be with you anymore because you are not a Christian and oil and water cannot mix, and he was heartbroken, um, and I felt really, really bad, like I felt like I did something wrong, like really, really wrong, and then, um, yeah, we separated and I continued on with uni and tried to look for my SDA husband, which is a whole nother story. Maybe we need to do a story on dating because I could talk about dating SDA men, some SDA men, don't, don't, don't worry, don't worry, that's coming, don't worry and um and I couldn't find.
Speaker 1:I couldn't find anybody, but we were still friends, we still used to talk about like our dating life or whatever. And then, I don't know, when I was like 26, he was like, should we try dating again? And I was just like, no, because you're a broad, like he was doing a long distance relationship. Um, how old am I now? I'm trying to think gosh boy, if you don't remember, then you know um so I think we got back together when I was like 29 and really was it that far apart.
Speaker 2:Huh, was it that far apart? Yeah, no, yeah, you guys still dated within that time.
Speaker 1:That's throwing me no, so we still spoke but we didn't date like so when he used to come to london we used to hang out and whatever he was in a in a relationship, um, but we used to hang out because we used to hang out with his sister and like we just used to go as a group with like all their, all their school friends and stuff.
Speaker 1:So that's why it probably seemed like, but we weren't together now oh, wow and um, the bit that spoke to me and I'm happy that we're having this talk is when he got. When, when we were talking about like getting back together, he was just like, look, you hurt me, like I was trying to know God and and understand and I was willing, but you left me and that turned me against God and I don't want to know him again because, like, why would he hurt me?
Speaker 1:oh, and I was like literally I'm not on the church thing, I'm not, I'm not on it and I thought, wow, like I turned him against the lord and savior yeah um.
Speaker 1:And then I thought to myself, even though a lot of people were saying like you know, you shouldn't, you shouldn't date somebody who's unequally yoke. I remember, like my, my bible text was um first corinthians, um seven, chapter eight and nine, and it says but I say to the unmarried and to the widow is it good for them if they remain even as I am, but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. But it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Speaker 1:So I used to be like you know what, like I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna get married and um, yeah, that because I can't find anybody and he set set the bar really, really high. And when I mean high, I mean in a sense he would open car doors for me. He would like you know oh my hair, buy me this, buy me that, like whatever I wanted. Like he treated me as a queen and when I was on the dating world, like I wasn't meeting guys, like that, like.
Speaker 1:I mean mean with my husband, even if I take him for dinner on his birthday, I would have to fight to pay, like things like that, and I wasn't finding it. I was finding guys that didn't want to open the door for me or, you know, they didn't want to do for me, and I was not having having it.
Speaker 2:There was no wooing. I was like why should I settle for less?
Speaker 1:Like. You need to be the man that I want you to be Like, be a Christian man, a man of God, and then you need to override my ex Like everything that he's done. You need to come better than that you know what I mean. Yeah, and I wasn't settling for less.
Speaker 1:Like I met a guy he was like really godfaring, and then he was saying that my opinion didn't matter and I was thinking sorry, what like he was literally saying like I am the, the, the head of you you know, and I was like I heard that, but yeah, so anything that I say, are you not going to take it into consideration? And I just met men that basically I should be a housewife and that is it, like you know and I just wasn't having it.
Speaker 1:I wasn't having it. And the reason why I say no is because the earlier days in our marriage was very, very hard, is because the earlier days in our marriage was very, very hard. So you've got to remember that I have the Sabbath, which is Friday sunset to Saturday sunset, so he'll be playing dancehall or reggae or like he does his own thing and I don't stop him, like I would say, like you know, can you turn it down? And he will, but at the same time there's like certain things that will just conflict. Um, I like praying. Yes, we do. We now pray every Wednesday, but you know, like if something was going in and I'm going back to the early stages in our marriage. This is why I say like Elohim can change, but I'm not saying to go for it guys, I'm just saying that it is difficult because yeah, if you meet somebody that has the same faith and denomination as you.
Speaker 1:It's more easier when, when things are going wrong, you guys could just pray for each other. You guys could go to church together. It's just so much easier than if you meet somebody that is unequal yoke or from another faith, because that's important as well. Like you, could be christian but come from two d two different denominations denominations yeah, that's a problem it causes chaos in your home and the lord is, he's a.
Speaker 1:He is a god of order, not of destruction yeah and as as through this podcast, as you're hearing us, trying to have a relationship with Yaa is difficult already. We battle with self already, so you don't want to find your husband or your wife who is going to make satan make his job more easier for attacking us literally and I think that's one of the things that I would, what I didn't know now and what nobody tells you about.
Speaker 1:They just literally say like, oh, don't, don't date unequally yoked. But we're not seeing the futuristic side, we're just seeing that, oh me, me and he or she get on really well and we pray or we do this or we do that.
Speaker 1:But it's deeper than that, because when life gets hard, satan will knock you about like literally like he knocks us about when it's just one, but when you, when you're dating, and you're, you're dating for marriage, like you need to look at these things because it is so, so hard, like marriage is not easy.
Speaker 1:It's not, it's a beautiful thing but it's not easy and, if you like, okay, let's use, for example, like there's a lot of people that say it works for them that some people are christian and they're dating somebody that's muslim or from a completely denomination. Some people are muslim and could be dating somebody that is sikh, and what have you and it's okay. But what happens when you have children?
Speaker 1:yeah like everything is fine when it's just the two of you. It's like we've had that discussion that the children will be worshipping on sabbath and they'll be going to church on sabbath. Basically, they're going to be seven day adventists and we were both. Well, maybe I don't, I don't even know what he is, he's a christian, but I before. When I was brought up, we were both baptized or christened. We were both christened in a church of england church. So that's something that we have in common. However, I left the church of england church and I'm now seven day adventists.
Speaker 1:Um, he goes to church with me once a month, but we do not go to the Church of England church. So it's complicated, as you can see. There's like so much, so much things, because it's like he wouldn't class himself as Seventh-day Adventist. He wouldn't class himself as Church of England, he would just class himself as a Christian. He's not a denomination, if that makes sense, but he will come church with me and he understands the sabbath and the sunset and he's fully aware of it wow, okay, guys, I know your brain's probably processing the way mine is.
Speaker 2:I'm like I think I had 150 questions. Yeah, I should have just wrote that down. That's like, who do you know? I think the first thing that stood out to me about what you said. I never classed unequally yoke as being two different denominations before not before, this conversation. But I realized that through trying to date, um, I wouldn't have, because it just feels like easy to just be like, yeah, I just want to be of, like a man of God, like your mind's not thinking, uh, well, no, it's not gonna work because, um, you're two different denominations. And then I realized that because I remember meeting someone that well, when I was online dating, I remember meeting this guy and like his profile said Christians. I feel cool, this is good.
Speaker 2:But then he was just like just to let you know, and I like the fact. I like the fact that he was straight up, by the way, and he was like, just to let you know, I am an. I don't know what denomination he said he was. Was it Anglican or don't quote me. It was one of those ones. Right, it wasn't Church of England, but it was one of those other denominations. And then he was like and I don't have a problem with drinking. And I was like, cool, that's a done deal. Do you know what I mean? Like he's like I going to stop drinking, I don't have a problem with drinking. Like it doesn't bother me. So I'm like, okay, fine, I'm happy that he was honest. And it's like for me, even though he's Christian, for me that's like a whole different person because of what he believes in. So I feel like that was quite.
Speaker 2:I like the fact that you mentioned that. That's very, very valid and powerful thing to make sure, like you lay down, because that can really be a problem. And for me, I've also never envisioned being with the seven-day adventist, even though I am. So it's quite interesting because I was thinking, whoa, I think through going through that, I realized that I'm getting more and more to the point of accepting the fact that I will. That's, that's the path I should take, because, um, it's too complicated just thinking about someone who's Christian and, yeah, like I believe in God. Okay, cool, like that's. I mean it's not even, it's not enough anymore. Like if that was me maybe 10 years ago, it would have been fine. Like, oh, you believe in God, I believe in God. Oh, we're good, like it was fine. But I think with the path I'm on now, you're just believing in God. It's not enough right at all.
Speaker 1:So that's quite powerful, I think it's that aspect of um dating, because we've got to remember all our life we wasn't taught how to date as a christian, if that makes sense. You're taught that you know this is what you look for in a person that he's respectful, that he or she is this or that and whatever, and that's what you look for. So when you're that's true, when you're dating, that's what you're looking for. You're're like oh, he's kind, he or she messages me every morning, oh, they sent me flowers or they took me on a date and they're really sweet, and it's all of this other stuff. You don't think of Elohim at all. It's not at the forefront.
Speaker 2:It's true, you look at all those things, first it's true.
Speaker 1:And then you think, oh, I found the one, and first. And then you think, oh, I found the one. And then that's when religion comes into it, after um, when it should be first, like, like, you know, because you could meet a, a person of your faith, who is um, what's that word? Um, there's a word that I'm looking for who's orthodox and that might be too much for you, so you can meet somebody who's of the same denomination. But you know, they want to pray every hour of the day and you're not there. It's like for me, I couldn't date a pastor because that's too much responsibility for me.
Speaker 1:But if the lord was meant to send a pastor my way, like what can I do? Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:but it's true it's, it's those certain things, but I think we don't look at that aspect and I think, and I think, like, finding a man or woman of Yahweh is very important, but we all come with baggage. So it's kind of like, what type of baggage are you able to handle? Like you said, ie, for example, you might meet, okay, like, let's give you a massive scenario. Okay, like let's, let's give you a massive scenario. Shay is dating and, um, she meets somebody, he's seven day adventist, she's seven day adventist, and you know, you know they're praying together, they're doing stuff together.
Speaker 1:And then, um, let's throw it out there, let's be honest, it's unfilled christian podcast. And like they, they already set their rules and regulations. They're abstaining till married, no touching, no kissing. Um, they pray together, they're doing all of these things. And then, for example, like he might see like um playing, like um circular music, or she might be playing circular music, either one of them, it's fine, like if there are parties, and then for the other one, it's just like I, I don't like that. And it's like, oh well, this is, this is part of my culture. Or like certain things that could be traditional doesn't have to be, music that that person might be uncomfortable with.
Speaker 1:It's kind of like we really have to go through these things because the marriage is hard already. But then when you have an understanding of like OK, my partner is still struggling with this, or he or she is struggling with that, like we can pray together with this or I can help them with that, um, our he or she's struggling with that. Like we can pray together with this or I can help them with that. Or if that's a massive no-no, like, for example, you were saying you can, you can update somebody that drinks, um, alcohol. Some people might not see that as a problem because they're battling with that and then they could grow together and overcome that together.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying it's the right way or wrong way, however, if somebody is not practicing. That's where I'm coming from, because it is hard, because I've been praying and fasting for my husband that before we wasn't praying every Wednesday but now we are and he never used to come church with me. But now he comes church with me once a month, like if I'm feeling sick and I say, can you pray for me? He will pray for me, but it never used to be like that that's powerful.
Speaker 2:Do you know what? What I will say, right, I would, I would never say at this point that I wouldn't be with someone that doesn't drink, because, yeah, I don't think that's the case. I feel like in that scenario with that person, I feel like for me, because they were of a different denomination and I just felt like it was a relaxed mentality. I feel like if it was a thing where someone drinks and they're like I don't, I don't drink much, and it's something that I'd eventually like to stop, or you know if that was their mindset towards it, because I just feel like everybody comes with something, because I still used to drink up to what two years ago? Um, it wasn't like a thing I did all the time, but I did socially. So it's like if it was the thing of I know what it's like to go through that process. I feel like if it was one of those situations, I wouldn't be like, oh well, that's it. Do you know what I mean? But that's what I can handle.
Speaker 1:I just feel like in that scenario, go on but also I would like to note that we all lie when we're dating. True, when we really like a person, yeah, we will, we will, we'll nice and stuff up because we don't want to lose that person, and this is when we start to wear a mask, like the fact that you're talking about this whole drinking thing like a person could say I drink socially and you think, oh, that's okay, but what is the quantity that they drink, or what does socially mean?
Speaker 1:because you might think in your head that like oh, it's at um, like somebody's birthday, whatever, and you could just be having um your parents around or whatever he's like. Oh yeah, let's open a bottle of wine like or do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:like yeah, yeah, because it's it's really difficult.
Speaker 1:It is the day.
Speaker 2:I would analyze in that process, though, like that's something you then analyze, because then you'll see okay, what is this person like?
Speaker 2:this person said one thing, but their actions will come out, and then you'll be like okay, no, this is I'm not feeling, this like I can't, and then you know, you, you, I mean that's the part I really kind of like and I don't say hate much, but I hate about dating because you have to go through that process, unfortunately, um to really see if that, whatever that person is saying, aligns and sometimes it won't come out until you're married that's also true, honey.
Speaker 2:So much stuff that comes out, so that's even a good point. But, um, I mean this, this just unequally yoked thing, I feel like it's really tough because I feel like, even still recently for me, I feel like I've discovered something. I'm like, even if you came across someone that is a man of God or a woman of God and you're like, and they're also the same denomination at you, I feel like, even though it sounds great saying that this, it does cover a lot of bases, by the way, because it's like, oh, you feel like a high percentage of of your search is kind of out out of the way because of you being on the same level. But I feel like for me now, my thing is, if I now have all those tick boxes, but you're boring, I like I don't want a boring marriage. I'm being dead. Like I've been praying about that, like I don't want to be now, like okay, yeah, we can pray, but there's no. Like I can't conversate with you, like you're not my friend, you know I'm saying like we can't laugh about stuff.
Speaker 2:It's like dead serious all the time, like we just I don't want that type of marriage either because to me that's unequal? We don't. We don't have any. We have god in common, which is perfect, but we don't have anything else in common. It's like no, that doesn't work for me either and I feel like I don't know. It sounds silly, but I don't want that. I don't, I don't want to just come across this guy, that is just. Yes, he's Adventist and he prays. That's great. That means you can be my friend. Because what? And because what else are we gonna do, do you know? I mean like I don't want a dry marriage because you're with that person.
Speaker 1:It doesn't necessarily have to be dry, because, okay, let's flip the coin. He might have been brought up in a structure where that's all he knows and his real character hasn't come out yet, and then the Lord has sent it to you so that you could bring that out of him but then he might find me too much. I don't know, maybe you're saying that, but but you're thinking about the negative side, like he might find me too much, but necessarily he may not why is he?
Speaker 1:talking to you if he finds you too much well, everything comes a time in it.
Speaker 2:Like you might you that just might be a thing, like maybe, like you said, he's come from this structured and home that could be quite quiet and stuff, and he's come across someone with his vibrant personality, like eventually he might just be like, oh yeah, this is just, he might try, but you know, what I mean, like I don't know.
Speaker 1:I just I've just had that. My husband has come through a household where there is no talk about God at all, nothing His mum's side of family, nothing about God. And then there's me that is playing gospel every day, talking about Yahweh every day. We still connect, just in different ways.
Speaker 2:I don't know, that one's a tough one for me. I mean, I will see. I just that's what's in my head right now and that's because I've heard other people speak of this as well. So it's not just like I thought that way, but like hearing other people who is adventurous speak of this?
Speaker 1:experience, I think. I think this is another thing as well, like, for example, my husband could have been saved if I didn't listen to that lady and I feel like yes, yes, um, there's people's opinion and experiences, but our, our walk and our journey with whoever we are is individually so.
Speaker 1:Yes, you can take bits and pieces, but it doesn't mean because you've heard free people say something that you're just going to write off a person that the lord sent to you because of abcd's experiences, experiences you can take it with a pinch of salt and have it like okay, yeah, but it doesn't mean that because if y'all was meant to send you your husband and he's like because yin and yang attract, like there's nobody, that is exactly the same. Like you're a bubbly person, your husband might be quiet and that is fine, but both of you get each other. Like, can you imagine two of you in the same room? Yes, I feel like ying and yang can attract. I feel like everybody's marriage like because, to be honest, everybody talks you've, if you're meant to hurt everybody's negativity in marriage, nobody will get married.
Speaker 2:Do you?
Speaker 1:understand. But with hardships come funships. Do you know what I mean? And I feel like before no, it's true, because that's why this is Marriage UK. I really love them because with them two they talk about like oh, in our first and fourth year of marriage, like couldn't stand him, you know, you know I couldn't stand him.
Speaker 1:I love them for that you know what I mean you're not going to find the perfect husband or wife because in life things try you Like I've heard some people talk about. You know, the first three years of their marriage was amazing, until he or she lost their job or till something, do you?
Speaker 2:know what I mean. Something happened and it's like whoa yeah and I feel.
Speaker 1:For me, the first two years of my marriage was like hell on earth. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:yeah we gotta remember that when you get, when you're finding somebody, when you're dating someone, it's easy. The reason why it's easy is because you still have separate lives. You know if you're following, quote, unquote, the correct way, like not living with each other, and etc. You know when you've had enough you could put the phone down. You're not seeing them. Do you know what I mean? It's, it is where it is, because nobody that is dating can say that they've never had a disagreement or that person has never, like, ticked them off.
Speaker 1:But then, when it comes to marriage, you're now living in a household where we all have our icks about certain stuff I have an icks about switches or certain things, and and so would he, whoever you're getting and then it's like you're trying to bring two together now to make them one. So this is why I say like it's more better to find somebody who is equally yoked, because already you're gonna have to deal with your personalities that will clash things that he or she does that you don't like, and vice versa in the house, like, for example, with with me and hubby he likes the fan, I do not, because the fan makes me sick, like do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:there's a lot of compromising there's a lot of compromising that you're gonna have to do that when you're when you're dating and you're living separately. Yes, you compromise, but it's not that deep compared to like marriage. So it's your marriage is hard, in a sense that you're getting to know each other and bearing in mind you will never know somebody, because nobody knows nobody but the heavenly father true because situations we always change, right, you know, like death this, that like our character, changes true yeah, yeah so it's more better to find somebody that is of the same faith, that you guys do get along with and do gel that when, when stuff hits the fan, it's more easier to deal with.
Speaker 1:And especially when you have children. Because it's like in my situation now and this is not putting my husband down or anything like that, because I love him but if, like, my children go to like sabbath school or for sunday people, if they go like sunday class and they've got homework and they was like, oh, daddy, who was the man that got swallowed by a, well, he's gonna be like I don't know, go to your mom. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:little things like that that sounds so funny well it's like, yeah, get you if both parents.
Speaker 1:But don't worry, because when when I have my bambuna we'll be.
Speaker 1:He'll be reading them bible stories, all so it's true, you know enough bible stories it's true, it's true, it's true but it's true, things like that that we don't think about because we're living for us, which is individually, because it's like, oh, I don't mind, yeah, he or she does that, but I don't mind. But then when you have a child, like you could date somebody and they may swear or something, let's use swearing and you don't mind. But then when you have a child and your child is picking up words, you mind.
Speaker 2:Now and this these are the difficulties that we have to go through, it's true, well I don't like that around my child now.
Speaker 1:But you guys been together for so long. Why is it? Now you have a child?
Speaker 2:like you, don't like this you don't like that yeah, it's so funny.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're gone those are the things that you've got to think about, like individually. So being somebody that is, um, that's the same denomination of you, is definitely the icing on the cake, because everything that I'm talking about has got to do with characteristics, not exactly your relationship with yahweh. So you've got to deal with all them characteristics and then deal with, okay, like you know what I want, my, I want to do family worship, I want to do this, I want to do that.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean yeah, I get you, I get what you're saying. I think that's all the things I've been thinking about as well, because these things have started to change in my life over like the past year or two, like some of the stuff you listed, and it's just like, okay, I have more and more stuff that I do now, like sometimes you don't realize how much your, your walk has progressed, until you start dealing with someone that doesn't have that in their life and you're just like, oh my gosh, I do a lot like surrounding Elohim and it's like, oh, that's like, do you know what I mean? Like this is gonna be too much for that person to take on. Um, yeah, because they don't, they don't have that in their life. And it's like I'm not going against anybody for that. It's just that that is the unequal yoke side. It just it just automatically shows you um straight away. I feel like that's the, the power of it.
Speaker 2:I don't, I will say I will say, still, it's not easy. I'm not gonna lie, because I've had this scenario not too long ago and it's, it's really hard because it's like you do like that person and like they like you, but it's it's, it's, when it comes to that side of things is that you can really dead see straight in the middle, like this is just two different lives, completely. Yeah, um, and that's the part where you just have to like the signs can't be any more brighter, they can't be bigger, they can't be like you know, and I feel like that's the part where I feel like that's great and it's powerful as well, because before, sometimes you can't differentiate whether, like, should I be with this person, like it doesn't work or whatever you know all the kind of stuff. Like you said before, you thought about God, um, yeah, about, oh, like you know, they seem like a nice person and stuff and that seems all great, because sometimes, like you said, it could be lying and, um, that might not even be the person they are.
Speaker 2:But I think the amazing thing about having a relationship with y'all is that, because of how he's just like I call this very straight up in it. So when you start following the path of him and you start having these things that you do in your life, it's so bait or it's so obvious, like bait is obvious. Sorry, guys, like that, um, you, you're not compatible because of the things that you do every day, so it's easy for you to differentiate whether this person is worth your time or not. Um, funniest thing is that I actually know of a friend who her auntie is with someone who's muslim and they've got like seven kids and I've had this conversation with her and she's like, oh, but like it was fine for my auntie and I'm like to be honest, I don't know how your auntie did that, because they actually are fine, they're still married to this day and they've got a beautiful family and stuff and they've let their children choose which religion they want to be. So some have chosen to be muslim, some have chosen to be christian.
Speaker 1:Um, and they're okay with that. But you know, the important thing about muslim and christianity is that they have morals, compared to being somebody who's unequally yoked, and that's in the world that's a good point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll take. I will take that definitely.
Speaker 1:I definitely will take that, because on Saturdays, a lot of Muslims go to I don't know what they call it, but they go to Muslim classes where they learn the Quran and stuff like that. So it's like quote unquote they're still learning. They're still learning that you need to be kind. The morals, which is similar to Christianity. Do you know what I mean? They they still have. So they're still growing up. It's just that they one believes in god and one believes in in allah. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:yeah, I hear you. Yeah, like you said, there is, there are similarities. There's similarities, um, with the bible and the Quran and stuff. I guess maybe that's where it works for them and she's quite serious in her faith and I'm sure her husband is that too. I just don't know how that works. Once again, in regards to like the differences and like how did they decide what morals they want to teach the kids?
Speaker 1:and like oh it's, it's a tough one I think it's because with them, they they've given their children a choice. Choice, yeah, that's what I'm thinking um, because either way, their child is not going to be in the world. Do you know?
Speaker 2:what I mean. It's very true, that is true. That is true, um, but, yeah, I love this subject. I've been really looking forward to this because I just feel like it is not spoken about enough in realness, um, and I feel like somebody needs to hear this. Um, especially, and I feel like this is gonna really help someone in the dating world, specifically like, trust me, this, this question applies to you because it would definitely hit you hard to be like, okay, who should I actually be um dating? Who should I even entertain? Who should I even give my time or or conversation to? Um, it would really easily do that for you, um, and it's like I kind of wish I had this like seven, like five years ago or six years ago, do you know? I mean, it's like I really do, because it's like you're like, oh, okay, noted you know, like it will be in your head, um, and I I do.
Speaker 2:Funny enough, I remember being on a zoom of someone that was asking questions. I was on this zoom that speaks about relationships etc, and it was this individual who's dating somebody, and they was. I can tell that they're struggling, because the person spoke about um something. I think it was no sex before marriage and like they were so adamant, like okay, so like where does it say in the bible that you don't do this? Or like it was certain it was something about oral sex or something like that. And they were like, so like the way they asked the question, you could see they're struggling. We're like I don't want to stop this. Like where does god say you don't do this?
Speaker 2:Um, they found it really hard because they would. They're already in a situation, do you know? I'm saying so, how do you remove yourself out of a situation when you're already in one? Um, so, hopefully, this would definitely help somebody to um from the very beginning of dating or even speaking to somebody. And trust me, yeah, guys, I've been in situations like where, through conversation, I already know already like this is not gonna work, this is not gonna work, this is not gonna work.
Speaker 2:And I've had some. I've had someone that genuinely, really, really liked me, but because they don't go to church like they, it really hurt them, but like they had to let go and, um, it was really hard because they found me a really nice person and I feel like that is also hard. I know it sounds silly, but that's also really hard because they genuinely really liked me. They'll be like I don't really see myself going to church, you know, but it's good because you can have those conversations in very short period of times and nip it in the bud very early, um, and ladies do not compromise, and men as well, um.
Speaker 1:But I don't know how it is about men, but I feel like for women, I feel like sometimes the Lord will say like that man is not for you. And then you're looking at the world around you, like all your friends are getting engaged or getting married or family members, and then you just think, oh, do you know what? Let me just, let me just get with this person.
Speaker 1:Let me just let me just get with this person just because of my surroundings, and I feel like that's how a lot of us get caught up, because we're looking outside rather than focusing on y'all. Um, because what the Lord has for you is for you, and once he opens that door, it cannot be closed. So when he opens that, once he opens that door, it cannot be closed. So when he opens that door for your husband or wife, it cannot be closed. Don't be opening doors that the Lord has not opened for you, honey, because you will learn. You will learn and I'm not saying that should you just switch off your feelings? No, because God is a god of love. And, um, every not everyone, because not everybody wants to get married. Like the lady that I was talking about, she didn't want to get married, she wanted to just focus on saving people, and that's okay too. But for those who want to get married, sometimes the lord is literally putting things into place for you mentally, physically, spiritually. Because if you're finding it hard yeah and let me talk about this in a normal way and unequally, an unequally yoked way as well if you're finding it hard to have a relationship with y'all, how are you gonna have a man or woman? How are you gonna find a husband or wife, a boyfriend or girlfriend, because when we want a male or female, all of a sudden we could be tired. You're up talking on the phone, you're doing this, you're doing the most, but to just read like one chapter, you're tired, it's boring. You can't focus a sermon, you can't focus having a relationship with y'all, you cannot focus. But then you're praying and on your knees for a man, or sometimes we're like, lord, I'm doing xyz. Like don't be like the pharisees and be like, oh, I done all of this stuff in your name. Like no, like do it from your heart. So if you know that you're struggling with certain things, fix that. One thing that I will say is that everybody who found like, true love, it came to them when they, when they didn't expect it. And the Lord works in mysterious ways. Like, as you heard throughout this podcast, where we're talking about the way how the Lord blesses us with certain things, is always when we least expect it. We didn't even know that it was coming, just when he was about to give up or whatever. It's never. When we're just, they're like oh you know. Hello Tom, hello Betty, yeah, yeah, let me get this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let me get that one Like, oh yeah, I see this one, yeah, yeah, yeah, let me get that. One. Like, oh yeah, I see this man, he's for me.
Speaker 1:Because a lot of people like they'd be praying for their husband, praying for their wife. They might meet somebody in church and that person is just there to be genuinely their friend. But now they've built this whole thing like, yeah, that's my husband, that's my wife. No, slow down. Do you know what I mean? The Lord might put that person in in your life to help them with their prayer life, to help them with whatever it, if, whatever it may be.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we just we're just focusing on finding my husband and wife rather than helping each other within the church to reach, to have a closer relationship with the father. When we remove those certain things, it will come like literally, it will come from all, like the stories that I've heard about people who has been longing and you know, I think I might even do an interview with somebody who found her husband when she stopped looking and like, literally, like all the time when she was putting her hands in places that it wasn't meant to be, and then she found her. I'm gonna bring her on. I'm gonna bring her on, because she is a living testimony that when she stopped her husband came. Or I've had male friends that when they stopped looking, their wife came. Because sometimes we're just that's all we're caught up in. And if we're gonna watch things and be like me, me, me, me, me. The lord knows your hearts and desires, let him do his job. Stop trying to help him in doing his job for you.
Speaker 2:That's my little two pence wow, okay, um, yeah, that was a lot okay, speaking honey, speak in my chest. That was for me, guys, that word was for me as well. I have nothing else to say. That word was for me, like that's a first. That was for me, um, yeah, yeah, right, I think that's it yeah, just pray about it.
Speaker 1:Pray about your husband, pray about your spouse when you're dating, pray about it. If the lord said it's not for you like, walk away. Even when, even if you're engaged, and the lord said this is this, is not because satan will also blind us as well you know to to feel like this is your like. He does it already in our daily walk, like because denying self, because I want it, but the lord might be saying no, no, no, no, no, but you're ignoring it.
Speaker 1:So even if you're engaged and the lord is like do you know what I'm showing you, these person's characteristics? Don't feel like, oh, let me just continue because I'm ready, engaged. No, he'll bring the correct person. And then that's when you will listen, that's when you'll echo tea sorry, yeah, okay, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2:That's true. That is true because I've heard of a lot of people actually walking away from their wedding just based on the fact that they had the lord say no, like this, this person is not for you. And they said it was difficult, it was really hard, but it was the best decision they ever made. And it's like, as much as that might seem hard, like what, how worth would it be to actually be married? And then like, oh my gosh, like do you know? I mean like what, what are you now going to get divorced for? Do you know?
Speaker 2:I mean like you now have to work on this because you've now gotten married, whereas you're not married yet. So you can actually just work on removing yourself from that, um, and it will be difficult. You have to go through the healing and all that stuff like that, but I would rather say you would go through that than to go through this whole thing of, like being married and all this stuff. You know to someone that you know that god has said that is not for you, um, yeah, so I mean, definitely pray about it fast, about it as well, um, and just continue because, like, like, continue to just pray and just seek, yeah, because sometimes you just be there, like you know god is saying no and like yourself is fighting, you're fighting with self and you just ask him to help you.
Speaker 2:And I'm saying this as I'm saying this because it's it's something I still battle with and you know what's right. You know, like kids they know, they know that you shouldn't do something, but they're still going to do it anyways, like we are still children. You know, like we, just, we, just, we're just so hard of hearing like we don't listen. We're just so hard of hearing like we don't listen and, um, just to avoid yourself, like, like he is your father and just to avoid yourself from doing the things that you really should not be doing, like, continue to reach out to him. Like, lord, I am struggling, like I know I should not do this, but I am fighting with myself. You just give it up to him and trust me. He will help you.
Speaker 1:He will help you and for those who are unequally married already, you're now one. I need to find a bible text, because there is a bible text that says that you're now um, you're now covered when you get yeah, when you're married, you're now covered.
Speaker 1:So the bible text is first corinthians 7, verses 14, and it says for the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her unbelieving husband. Otherwise your children will be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. Um, to continue to pray, because I'm telling you my marriage has been a testimony.
Speaker 1:Like if anyone was meant to say and Shay could even say it herself like if anyone was meant to say like, because I always used to say my husband is more of a Christian than I am, and what I mean by that is like he is way giving. He will do the most for everyone. Where me, I'm like that person had too much.
Speaker 2:True she'll be like no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:His heart is more of a Christian than mine, if that kind of makes sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, in that sense, yeah, yeah, yeah, it makes sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So that's why I know that he will be saved one day. Continue to pray for him, y'all you know, because he will, and he'll be in that number, in that fold, um, but for those who are struggling it's not easy. But you, we must continue to pray. And um, watch the movie war room. I love that movie because it's talking about the power of prayer. Um yes, it's war room.
Speaker 1:Or one word um it's a christian movie as well, so um excellent movie as everything that we always say like pray, talk it, take it to the lord and be honest, tell him how you're feeling. And we also need to take accountability as well whilst we're praying. What are we doing wrong? What could, what could we do better, and things like that. Um, communication is key.
Speaker 2:Um, in general, in any relationship, communication is key, not to just always point the finger just because, um, and yeah yeah, but we'll definitely do another podcast in regards to like dating and stuff. I feel like that's that's following at some point after this one. I think we should definitely touch on that and I've already prepared my mind for that one, so that's coming. I feel like that's gonna definitely be needed, um, so yeah, thank you guys.
Speaker 1:So much for listening so that is it guys we've come to the end. Thank you for tuning in and listening. I think this is. I don't even know what episode this is, but yes, we are in the teens, y'all.
Speaker 2:We're in the teens and we give glory oh, wow, okay, okay, look at us, check us out, okay, okay. Well, guys, thank you once again for listening. We love and appreciate you guys for your support and we just pray once again, you'll be blessed by this podcast and, um, by this episode and, yeah, whatever stuck out to you. Sorry, I thought we could never say that enough. And, like cece said, see you in two weeks ciao.
Speaker 1:See you in two weeks.