Unfiltered Christian Podcast

Ep 30 - A funeral brought us face to face, but healing asked us to look inward first

• CeCe & Shay • Episode 30

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Grief has a way of exposing what we’ve carefully hidden—especially when a funeral puts estranged family at the same table. I share how a long goodbye stretched my emotions thin, how a simple act of kindness from my sister disarmed my defences, and why the hug I thought I wanted felt impossibly heavy. This isn’t a tidy redemption arc; it’s the slow, honest work of naming pain, owning pride, and learning to forgive with more than words. We get practical about spiritual warfare in the mind, taking every thought captive, and asking Yahuwah to rewrite the stories that turn loved ones into enemies.

You’ll hear the small, human steps that actually move reconciliation forward: fasting to make room for clarity, praying for the removal of lodged hurt, offering a soft greeting when silence would feel safer, and setting boundaries that protect without punishing. We talk about the danger of third‑party stories—how “Chinese whispers” warp motives and multiply offence—and a simple rule that can save relationships: if it wasn’t said to you, treat it as unsaid and take it to prayer. Along the way, we look at Yeshua’s pattern of mercy with Judas and Peter, the humility of examining the log in our own eye, and the comfort of Psalms reminding us that Yah is close to the brokenhearted.

If you’re stuck between wanting peace and not feeling ready, you’re not failing—you’re human. Let this conversation give you language, tools, and courage to try again without pretending the hurt never happened. Share this with someone who needs a nudge toward healing, subscribe for more unfiltered faith and mental health conversations, and leave a review telling us the one small step you’ll take this week.

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To ask us a question email us @ unfilteredchristian1@gmail.com

SPEAKER_00:

Shalom shalom saints and welcome back to the Unfiltered Christian Podgirls. It's Shigel CeC and today I want to get real with you about grief, healing, and the messy process of reconciliation. If you've been listening, you know that I've lost my sister. She passed away on the 1st of March 2025, but wasn't buried until July the 18th, 2025. During that time, I felt like I was living in a dream, grieving but disconnected from reality. And I said on this podcast when me and Shay was talking that I was ready to reconcile with another sister of mine, the one that I don't talk to. And I really meant it at the time. But I wasn't ready. I hadn't prayed about it or asked Jehua if my heart was truly prepared. I was living in a kind of numbness, holding on to hope that when the moment came I could make peace. When I finally saw it at the funeral, I thought I would feel this big embrace or a flood of emotion, something to bring us back together. But honestly, it was awkward. Old memories and feelings came rushing back. I was standing there while I said hello, because there was two of my other sisters that were there, and she said to me, You can hug me, you know. I'm not a stranger. And she came and she gave me a hug. But inside I was wrestling. I realized I was holding on to stuff from the past. Things she said or did that robbed me the wrong way and made me shut the door on her. And yet she was ready to start afresh, and I thought I was too on the previous episode. She was offering peace while I was still holding on to her. The amazing thing is, because at the reception we had to wait so long, she bought um food and snacks for the table. She even handed me my own drink, and I was caught off guard. She was being kind to me, but I was stuck in my own head, caught between the pain of the past and the hope of something new. Saints, Satan loves confusion and division. He wants us separated, divided by old wounds and bitter moments. I have to confess, in my head, I still saw her as the bad one, even though she was the one who came forward with a hug, with kindness, with peace, and I look like the mean one. Even though I'm supposed to be the Christian, the one walking in love and forgiveness, the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 10 verses 5, we take captive every thought to make obedient to Christ. That means those negative thoughts, the ones painting her as an enemy and me as a victim, I have to bring them before Yeshua and choose to reject them. It's so easy to stay stuck in that mindset. But to heal and grow, I have to undo this behavior. That starts by confessing to Yahuwah, asking him to help me see her as how he sees her, a beloved daughter of the Most High. It means praying for a softened heart and for the courage to extend forgiveness, not just with words, but in my heart. But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you, that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven, for he makes his son to rise on the evil and on and on the good, and send rain on the just and to the unjust. I was trying to build walls of exclusion rather than open doors to inclusion, and with my counselling hat on, I know that's denial. Not that my feelings aren't valid, but those feelings come from a place in the past that I have to release or that you may have to release. Looking back, we did have a good sisterhood once upon a time. Somewhere along the way, things changed. But I also have to be honest and remember that I have said things and hurt others too. The Bible talks about taking the mark out of your own before pointing at somebody else's. That's found in Matthew 7, verses 3 to 5. So, with that, I have to be gentle with myself and rationalise what's going on in my heart. Here's something I want to share that has helped me and maybe can help you. If you ever find yourself in a room or an event with somebody who's hurt you, or even if you see them on social media or hear about them, consider fasting for a day that week. It could be from social media, food, your favorite TV show. Use that time to sing to Yahuwah and pray for forgiveness. Not just asking for their forgiveness, but also asking Yah to remove the hurt they have caused in your heart. Remember how Yahshua forgave Judas, even though Judas betrayed him, and how he forgave Peter even after Peter denied him three times in Luke 23 verses forty thirty-four. Yeshua said, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. And in John 21, he lovingly restored Peter, telling him, Feed my sheep. That's the level of forgiveness Yahuwah calls us to. Don't let your feelings and pride steal your peace. Make amendments where you can. Pray for the impossible healing where you can't, and trust that Yahuwah will do the rest. Psalms 34 verses 18 reminds us, Yahuwah is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. He is near even in hard places. So if you're like me, caught between wanting to reconcile and not knowing if you're ready, it's okay. It's okay to be honest with yourself and with Yahuwah. Healing is a process and it's sacred. Give yourself grace, give others grace, and most importantly, invite Yahuwah in to do the mending that we cannot do on our own. And sometimes we could just start off with saying hi. Like when I was at the table, it was so awkward, but when she gave me the drink, I decided to just say a few sentences every now and then to lighten the mood rather than to be stubborn, rather than to cause confusion, and it got better. Am I saying that it was just easy? No, it wasn't. The Bible talks about denying our own feelings and doing what is right because you know we've all done something to somebody or said something to somebody, and when we realize, like, oh my days, I hurt that person, and that person doesn't want to reconcile, we we feel bad. So sometimes we have to put the shoe on the other foot. But most importantly, the Bible calls us to be peculiar people, so we are called to be different, not to follow the ways of the world and to do things the way that the world has taught us to like, you know, and what's that saying? They've got a saying, like the Bible says, do unto others as as you would like it to be done to you, but the world is kind of like however they treat you, you should treat them. Like, don't go blow for blow or low for low, you know, arise that you know, I'm not saying that you should be used in a situation, but you can set healthy boundaries where you could say hello and goodbye until you're okay. And I think the most important thing, as I said, this podcast is so unfiltered that I came on here and I I said it to Shay, and I was just like, Do you know what? I'm ready to reconcile. Like when I see my sister, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I really thought that when I saw her, I'd be like, hey, but she was like that, but I wasn't. And I think I'm going through a situation not only with my sister but with something else, and I realized that sometimes people could have a problem with us, and we don't really have a problem with them. Well, we don't have a problem with them, but because the surroundings and people saying stuff, it then makes you build up a wall or a barrier against them, bearing in mind you do not have an issue with this person, this person has an issue with you, and then all of a sudden the tables turn, and you now have an issue with a person that you didn't even have an issue with, and that's what we need to pray about when people do us wrong or say certain things, and I think the most important thing that I'm trying to change in my life right now is if the person didn't say it directly to you, it's it hasn't been said. I think that's what we need. That's what we need, that's how we need to start seeing things. If it's come from a third party, ignore it, it wasn't said, and pray and pray about it, pray about what's been said. Um, because I think that third-party information can really, really interrupt how you might think about somebody, and as you can see with Chinese whispers, whoever whoever's played Chinese whispers, the first person who whispers in somebody's ears, by the time it gets to the end, it's a completely different story, and we also gotta realize that with emotions, however somebody's feeling that day can come across totally different than what the actual information was. So, all of these things we need to bear in mind, and I'm talking to myself as well, and you know, the next time that I do see that sister, I will say hi, how are you, how's the children? And I'm gonna force myself because we've got to remember that we are a representation of yeah, we are his children, we represent him at all times. Our life is meant to represent him, and we just got to continue to pray about that. I just want to leave you with Ecclesiastes 7 verses 4. It says, The heart of the wise is in the house of the mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of the mare. There's wisdom in our grief, it teaches, refines, humbles us, but only when we stop pretending and get real. I just want to say a prayer. Yahuwah, I lift up everyone who's grieving or struggling to reconcile right now. Meet us in our raw unfiltered pain. Help us to be honest about where we are and to trust your perfect timing. Heal our hearts and soften our spirits so that we can walk in your peace. Help us to take captive every thought that tries to divide us and teach us to forgive as you have forgiven us. Give us the courage to build bridges even when it's hard. Thank you for your endless grace. In Yeshua's name, Amen. Thank you for joining me on this raw journey today. If this spoke to you, please share it with someone who might need to hear it. And remember, it's okay to be real. We're all work in progress. So, Saints, if you enjoyed today, share. And if you have a scenario or a question that you would like to ask us, you can email us at unfiltered Christian the number one at gmail.com. Stay safe until next time.