Ep 39 - Being Christian and Single

The conversation delves into the challenges and experiences of being a Christian single, emphasizing the journey of healing, prioritising God in singleness, support for Christian singles, marriage preparation, and the challenges of being a single parent. It highlights the importance of spiritual growth and trust in God's plan for individuals in their singleness.

Takeaways

• Christian single challenges
• Prioritizing God in singleness

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey lovely people, it's me, Shay, and I have I'm going to be giving a little talk about. So I was thinking what I want to talk about this time. And I had two subjects in mind, but there's one that's kind of standing out to me the most because I can definitely relate to that right now. And it's about being a Christian single. And so, yeah, there's so much to dissect on this subject. The reason why I'm passionate about it is because I've been single by choice for I'm gonna say, do you know what, guys? I don't even know now. The years have been passing. I'm gonna say six years, and that's because I've been working on my healing. That was the first the first part of the journey was working on my healing because I needed to heal from a major relationship that I was in, and then I wanted to mainly focus on my little one as well. Um, getting myself on track. I had a lot going on in my personal life, you know, and so it was about you know making sure I'm building a healthy environment for him in regards to the way we live and all these different things. I had a lot going on, but my mental health was very important, so I was working on that for a few years before I thought about really getting into anything. And even in the times when I felt like I was ready, God said I wasn't, and I just had to listen, I just had to deal with that. But being a Christian and being single is really hard. I received a lot of judgment at times because there's things I chose not to do, you know, um, because obviously, like we know that intimacy was created for marriage, and so by removing myself from that, I got judged by some. You know, I've had some people comment saying, like, nobody's gonna wait for you. And, you know, people say some some really mean stuff, and trust me, you if that if that's the path you're on, you will hear people say stuff to you. You will hear some stuff and you think to yourself, Wow, really? But you have to remind yourself of why you're doing what you're doing. You're holding on to the word of Yahweh because his word is true, and no human being should overpower what he says. And so I was building my spiritual strength in those years as well to stay strong and to hold on to him and trusting in him that he is going to do what is he's he's gonna work out what's right for me, and I'm still trusting in that right now. Now, I'm not saying it's been easy. I'm gonna be real vulnerable right here because I feel like being a Christian single, like, it's not spoken about enough, and the the vulnerable side is not spoken about enough, like how tough it can be, how so tough it can be. Because sometimes you think you know what you're looking for or what you're seeking or what you would like. And Elohim is the only one that knows best, and so you feel like you're constantly trying to hear his voice. Like, what direction should I be going? What do I, you know, what do I do in this time frame of the wait? And so I had to learn about that part of being single. You know, what do I do in the time of the wait? And what does God want to see in me in my singleness, in my single? So I've been hearing all these sermons that speak about that and all these talks that speak about that. And I didn't know about that from the beginning of my journey, from the very beginning. But in time when I started, like, I started doing like devotionals for singles, or I started doing devotionals that are even for like leading up to a relationship, or even like I even started doing devotionals that's like for for someone that's in a relationship. Because I wanted to see what they had to say and what am I preparing myself for. So like I was exposing myself to those things for a few years. And so now, in the last maybe two years, I've been trying to look at okay, even though I felt ready to receive the person God has in store for me, he doesn't feel it's time. And so I've been trying to focus on what is it that he needs me to do in my singleness? Because there's so much that you can do in your singleness that you cannot necessarily do when you're married. And so this is something as a single, you need to work on with Elohim, not by yourself. You cannot do it on your own because this path you're on, it's not easy, it's not even necessarily like the way he created us. He didn't really create us to be our by ourselves, and so it can be so hard, and you cannot do it on your own without prayer, without fasting, without feeding your spirit. And so, what I've been working on, and even Cece even said this to me, is that I need to make sure that Elohim is first before anything. And that's one thing I've prayed that whether Elohim sends me a husband or not, that he has to be first and foremost in everything that I do, and especially in my marriage, because I do not want to put my husband at a pedestal above God. And so I felt like at one point it was such a strong desire that I thought I was putting God first first, but I wasn't. I might have been, it might have looked like I was in regards to my actions, but deep down, I knew I wasn't, and he knew this, he knew that as well. And you know, we can't lie to him. He knows the truth. You know, he can see what's on our heart, he can see what's on, he can hear our thoughts, he knows exactly what's gonna happen before it even happens. And so I knew I wasn't being honest enough with myself, and I knew I wasn't being honest enough with him. And so I had to just strip it all back and say, do you know what? It has to be about him. Because when I go into marriage, my husband is not gonna be the one that's gonna really and truly be able to solve things. It's gonna be God. He may use him to help, to be an instrument to solving things, but in the end, it's Elohim that would have solved the problem or fixed whatever it is. And so I don't want to put all of my trust into that human being, even if it is the person that he has created for me. So I've been fighting with those physical urges or with those physical mindsets, if that makes sense, and focusing on the spiritual and so making sure that my spirit is built up so that I am not gonna replace or put forth that individual in front of God because I know the same way that he gave me that person, he will take them away. And our God is a jealous God, and he has to be fast, and also I don't want to be knowing that I've put a human being above Elohim. You know, that is not the way it should be at all. And so I fight every day in making sure that I prioritize him. And I have been struggling recently in whether I should be praying for my future spouse or not, because I just don't want to give more power to that than giving it to God because I feel like I did that for so many years. And I know people say you should pray for your spouse. I don't know, I've been too man's buy. I've been even praying about whether I should pray about it, you know? Because I really want Elohim to be first and foremost before anything, and so I know it's hard being a Christian single. There's more things out there now that's coming up, you know, to support Christian singles as well. So I feel like if you are a Christian single, try and seek those types of things and you feel like you're ready to kind of gain friends. You know, there's events out there that you can go to, there's mingling events, there is, you know, events with like, I don't know, games and all that kind of stuff. There is things out there because I've seen them. I haven't been to any. But um, well, I did go to one with Cece like years years ago, many years ago. But yeah, that was just a cool thing, you know. It was a mingle, it was a nice chill thing. It wasn't too bad. But there are things out there that you can do that you can go to. But what I will say, just really try to just enjoy this time, you know, see what Elohim wants you to do. There's so much you can do, there's so much you can be given back. There's so many people in need of your help, you know, whether it's in your church, whether it's a charity you can take on working for, whether it's an individual that needs help at home, or someone who's vulnerable. Like, there's so much that we can be doing with our time as a single Christian. And it's like I didn't really think about these things. I wasn't really told about those things at the beginning of my journey. But, you know, there's so much you can do, but also it is nice to speak to your friends who are married or older people who are married. You know, you can ask them questions and advice, like anything that you think about that pertains to marriage, you can always go to those individuals and just start educating yourself. There's just so much you can do in your singleness so that you're more kind of prepared. Now, here's the thing that I believe personally. I don't think you can ever be 100% prepared for marriage. Like you're two individuals coming together as one. Like, I don't think it's possible. Like, there's there's only so much you can learn, but it doesn't mean you can't feed your spirit and educate yourself. Now, that's big coming for me because I didn't even believe in that. I didn't I didn't see the point. Because I'm like, either way, you're still not gonna know until you're in it, right? But there's also no harm in gaining knowledge in you know what you can do, where you can learn. Now, whether I remember half of that stuff I've learned from all those years ago, I don't know. Maybe they will ignite if I get married and I'll remember them suddenly, but still it was nice to learn them and it gave me a different perspective. But it it is good to educate yourself on what marriage is and what you're going into. It's not all about this perfect, you know, as they would say in America, picket fence life. You know, you have this perfect wedding and you know, you spend all this money and all that kind of stuff because that's just the day of a wedding. But what is a marriage, you know? And so this is important that we're just guiding ourselves in the right paths and doing the right things and focusing on the path that that Elohim has in store for us. What is your purpose as a Christian single? Where does he want you to go? What does he want you to do? What ministry does he want you to put you in? You know, these are all prayers that you need to pray so that you're focusing on him, you're focusing on what he wants you to do because it will be a different life when you become a a wife and a mother or a husband and a father. It will be a different life. And so it's just important that we are praying for each other as singles because it's not easy, especially if you're a single who also has children or a child. That is also not easy because I feel like we get given, I don't know, the church doesn't necessarily, not all of the church, but some churches may not necessarily be accepting towards someone that has a child outside of wedlock. And also attracting someone as a Christian being a single parent. I personally think it's not easy. I always feel like maybe in the world, I would probably be more accepted than from someone who is a Christian. And so it is tough, but I'm trying not to also dwell on that thought anymore as well, and just remember that Elohim's in control and he knows every single person, the 8 billion people on this earth, he knows each and every one of them. And he knows out of one person out of those 8 billion people who is for me. So if it's his will, because I'm at a point where I'm like, if it's his will, it's not about me anymore. I thank him for the fact that he's gifted me with one child. And if there's things he just wants me to do on my pathway that pertains to just him and his kingdom, then I want to be in a place where I can accept that subject. But if you do have any questions or you would like to ask me anything else to speak about in regards to this subject, please send us an email and I'll be happy to answer that question. And so I'm gonna end this segment with a prayer. So, Elohim, Yeshua Yahweh, thank you so much, gracious God in heaven, for placing this subject upon my heart. I want to pray for all Christian singles out there, Lord in heaven, whether they have children or not. I pray, Elohim, lifting up your special children to you in prayer. Guide us all, Lord in heaven, in the purpose and in the path that you have in store for us, Lord. Whatever you need us to do, wherever you need us to go, show us gracious, Father Lord in heaven. Remind us, Lord in heaven, that we still do have purpose because sometimes in the church, it can feel like the church is only made for families, which I've noticed. And so, Father Lord, we do feel pushed out and left out, you know, um, not just families, but just even just husbands and wives or those with children. And sometimes we can feel like we're not noticed, like we're left out. And I just pray, Lord, that a space can be created for us because as we do not have spouses, we are able to give a bit more to the church and more to the ministry and more to your kingdom. And so I pray that others can see us and we can also be open to wanting to give back to the work of you, Lord, and you can guide us on our path and where you need us to be and where you want us to go. So, Lord, thank you so much once again. Thank you for what you're about to do for us, Lord. And I pray for individuals who are seeking a spouse that you may help them to be patient in the wait and help them, heavenly Father, Lord, in heaven, in that time of what to do in the midst of the wait. And help them, Heavenly Father, Lord, to be at peace, to not be walking with impatience, and to prepare them for that moment to meet the person you have in store for them. Thank you, Lord, for listening and thank you for your time. And a blessed name as we pray. Amen. Thank you all for listening, and I pray that you're blessed by this episode. And me and CeCe will see you soon. Take care.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

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