Ep 47 - Can You Be Honest In Church?

We wrestle with whether church is truly a safe space for honest conversations and why it can feel welcoming at first but unsafe once your business leaves the building. We share personal experiences across different church cultures, then talk boundaries, prayer, and what it looks like to rebuild trust for adults and kids.  

Transcript

Welcome And Listener Question

SPEAKER_02 0:10

Shalom, shalom saints, and welcome back to the Unfilled Christian podcast. I'm Cece and I'm Shay. And today we're gonna be answering part two of our question from our lovely guests. And so their question, their second question is Can we or you actually have an honest conversation with church brothers and sisters? And they also ask, is it a safe space to let your guard down? And if not, how can we make it better?

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Fully loaded question. Did you want me to go first?

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Yeah, go for it, go for it.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

It's a tough one.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Maybe we should answer yes or no.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

Yeah. The first one, right?

SPEAKER_02 0:49

Yeah. So the first one is can we or you actually have an honest conversation with our church brothers and sisters?

SPEAKER_01 0:56

I'm in between on that one.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

And is it a safe space to let your guard down? I'm also in between on that one.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

I don't have a yes or no answer because I feel like it depends on the individual for both questions.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Let's put it in, let's let's put it down to if somebody was new and they're stepping into church.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

But if someone new comes into church, would you really be that vulnerable?

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Do you think it's depending on your circumstances? Like if like let's use a person who they're trying to get away from their old life and they're stepping through, and they've been told that church is a safe place. We're all children of the R. So we're gonna use it just like that. We're gonna so we're gonna yeah, this is interesting.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

So okay, so if if that's the case, I'm gonna say yes because it is a safe space. Well, Lord. Um gosh. The reason why I'm saying yes is just because as an outsider coming in, it does look like a safe space. So you will want to be open. But I feel like after being there for a little bit, your answer may change. Now, I'm not trying to come for the church. That's not what I'm trying to do. I'm just speaking because I'm speaking of my own experiences and what I have seen personally, right? And like I said, I once again I still feel like it depends on the individual. I feel like a lot of churches, you will walk in and see that open, kind of friendly faces and you'll see people, you will feel welcomed and you will want to be open. But the problem is that I have is the safe space part because I feel like it does feel safe at first, but then when you're hearing someone else knowing your business or whatever it may be, that's where it's no longer a safe space. And that's my problem. And I have a problem with the fact that church is that type of environment where you can. I don't like me personally, when people are like, Oh, I thought you heard, no, I didn't, because I shouldn't hear, if that makes sense. But I know in certain circles you would have heard. If that makes sense, yeah, it's it's it's yeah, go on. Because it's a tough one for me, it really is.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

Okay, so we're uh we're answering the second question first. Okay, is um is it a safe space with somebody coming in? Um, I think the building is a safe space. It's kind of hard for me because I'm coming from I'm trying to analyse it from two different churches. So with a Church of England church that I grew up in, it's a safe space. It's a safe space where you can talk about anything. You know, you can say you've had an abortion, you could say you're sleeping with this person, you could say anything. And the Church of England church that I went to, it feels like you have brothers and sisters in YAR and they're just willing to help you through it. In the Adventist world, no, I don't feel like it's a safe

Safe At First Then Not

SPEAKER_02 3:56

space. I think because the person is Seven Day Adventist that wrote the let that wrote in to write. I just wanted and we got listeners from different backgrounds. I just didn't want to just label it as one. But I also know, like, for example, there are other, and this is not labelling all SDA churches, because there's other SDA churches that I've been to. Like when I went to uni in Colchester, that was a family. Um, they checked in on you, they were worried about you, if they didn't see you for two weeks, you know, they would call you. Um, I remember that there was a young girl who had sex out of wedlock and they did a baby shower for her. There was no judgment, there was no like, oh, you know, this fellowship or anything. It was all love. So I think it's I think one thing that I would say going back to is it a safe space to let your guard down? I think depending what you have going on, I think you need to pray about. And and I I say this all the time, I even say it to Shay, like you need to pray before you tell somebody something. Like, is this person right that I need to or or sh or show me or tell me? Because I feel like everybody's on different stages in their walk, and some people it's like, you know, I might go to Shay and I might say, like, I'm taking drugs, and then Shay might go to somebody else that she seems as close and thinks that she's not gonna say anything, and then and then the cycle just keeps going on. Where is the boundaries of like let's pray about this and let's help you, and let's not go to Sally, Betty, and Kate, Tom, Dick, and Harry. Like, why can't why why does everybody else have to know? And I think that's how people's business get out there because if that person's coming to you, and because we're adults, it shouldn't be like please don't tell anybody, especially if somebody's coming to you with heavy information, um, unless it is um breaking like policies, like I don't know, like if somebody is shooting up heroin, but then they're doing like Sabbath school, like you would need to set you to tell the pastor because that's dangerous. Do you know what I mean? Or if there's a paedophile or something like that, um, where it can cause harm. But other than that, I don't think it should be like this person, that person knows each other's business. That I don't feel like it's a safe space. And then linking it in that can you actually have honest conversations with church brothers and sisters? I feel like you can, but again, what Shay's saying is is dependent on who you're talking to.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

Yeah, I completely agree with that.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

I feel like when when there's a topic where it's like afternoon service, I've I've seen people be very vulnerable in afternoon services where certain questions are asked and it's a safe space to have an honest conversation without being judged.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

So I'm kind of contradicting what I'm saying, what I said before. But do you know what I mean? It's depending where it goes outside when it leaves a church building. So is it safe? Yes, but when you step outside, is your business or information safe? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

And I think that's the reason why I said if you're new and you walk into the space, it seems like a safe space because everyone will be like friendly and all that kind of stuff. Do you get my point I'm trying to say? But then after you've settled there for a little bit, you realize actually this is not a safe space to be as vulnerable as you'd think. And that's why I agree with you when you said like um well you reiterated my point where I said like it depends on the individual. It really does. But the problem that I have, and it's hard because I can only because I know that person is SDA and I I can only really speak on an art denomination because I didn't spend enough time in I was young, so I

Two Church Cultures Compared

SPEAKER_01 7:46

wouldn't know other denominations that well, even though I do agree with you in regards to like Church of England. I did go there like when I was like nine and ten, maybe about 11, and yes, it was a very friendly and open and safe space with everything. And I actually still find that now, actually. Let me I'm being a bit contradicting myself here. With my clients, I support them to a Church of England church, and I find that environment such a safe space as well, and it's not my church, but because I go there so much and I take my clients there so much, it's like I feel a part of their family. Does that make sense? And they welcome everybody, and um they don't make anyone feel a way for who they are, and they do this excellent community lunch every week, and even people that do not attend the church come there. So there was a point where like we have a group, for example, that used to join every Fridays, and I used to come into that group and be really, really vulnerable, and then I noticed that like I thought this was the space to be vulnerable about this subject because that's what the group is about, right? But it's like people were shocked, I was like being so open. But I was like, I thought this was, I thought this was what it was for. It wasn't just about fellowship, but it was like, you know, speaking about the things you're struggling with with fellow like-minded Christians. So it just made me question things because I thought I was actually really struggling at that time. That's why I came like because it's a specific group for something, yeah, like something very specific, right? And I thought, well, this is the space that I can go to be vulnerable about this subject because we're all in the same place, but it it just seemed like it wasn't that environment for it. So if that's not the place for it, where is because you created this group as a support, you know, for something specific with like-minded Christian. So it just felt a bit like, so why do I keep joining this group if I feel like do you know what I mean? Is it just for show? So that's where I've kind of struggled, and like all the groups that I normally go into that I was doing last year, that I haven't really been in them like that for the last few months. Because I feel like I will, I might as well stay in my struggle and by myself or go to the people like yourself who I can trust to pray for me.

SPEAKER_02 10:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

Yeah, I it's a tough one because I think do you know what it is?

SPEAKER_02 10:05

I think think of a crack the code. I think with Adventists, they're conservative, they're very conservative in terms of like we keep our problems to ourselves, we don't say anything, so sometimes it can seem quite closed off, even though they're welcoming, but in terms of like breaking down. So if you are vulnerable, it's kind of you're looked upon or judged upon. And it's kind of crazy because now, even though I don't call myself Adventist anymore, but one of the reasons why I came to to become an Adventist, not only because I went to an Adventist school, because that was clearly not it, but it was my aunt because my aunt was very my great aunt who passed away, she was open, she was like an open book, and I thought that's how Adventists were. Like she was like, you know, I lived this, this is the life that I lived, I used to do this, I used to do that, um, but I'm not that anymore. And we could sit down and laugh about certain stuff, and then so when I went into my church, um I did find people that was like open about their past to be like, yeah, I used to suffer with this or I used to suffer with that, and like a lot of people were open, um but again it wasn't open to it was like in group settings. Right now, I think when I saw a red flag, and I'm without giving too much detail with exposing who the person was, um but something happened in church and I was shocked when I went to members' meeting of how many people that I looked up to that that was elderly when this situation was brought to church, and everybody was like throwing stones at this person, this individual, and I was like really shocked because I was just remembering my aunt, like how my how my aunt was, like you know, just showing how she used to be and all the mistakes, but I feel like in Adventism, a lot of people once they get baptized, they don't they forget their old life and then they treat people that are struggling like they didn't live that life, and I think that's why it's kind of hard to be vulnerable and to be honest because you can't be honest with somebody who forgotten where y'all has brought them from because they will just chastise you. Like I'm not saying like Yah says to love the sinner but hate the sin, but I feel like with Adventism it's the other way around, it's like hate both. Do you know what I mean? And a lot of it is like favouritism as well, because you know, there's some people that can get away

Gossip Boundaries And When To Report

SPEAKER_02 12:51

with sin and because of where they are in the pyramid scheme, and there's some people that you know they wouldn't last a day, but I also feel like there is there is no love, and that's what's missing because it could be anything, like let's let's go back to what what the what the person asked us the first time about disabilities. Imagine if you was vulnerable to to go to somebody and say, like, do you know what I actually I I can't see, and you're being vulnerable because that took you a lot to say, and then that person shuts you down. Is it a safe space?

SPEAKER_01 13:25

Right, all right, it's true. And the thing is, it's funny when you spoke about like, yeah, we're welcoming, but clearly we're not like clearly we've um what's the what's the phrase I was trying to look for? Like we've limited the welcome, if that makes sense. Like you're only welcoming like surface, you know, to smile and say hi, but it stops there. And when I think about welcoming, I'm thinking about welcoming who you are, like giving you that space to be open and vulnerable. That's what I think about feeling welcomed. Yeah. And so it's like we've limited that, you know, like and I feel like our church does contradict itself because they say, Oh, you're welcome, you know, come and whatever, whatever. And you know, they they say all these great things, and you're not seeing that in action, and that is really my problem. That's why a lot of people, when they come to church, and I remember I was having this conversation with someone the other day, and they said to me, How are you? Right? This typical, hi, happy Sabbath, how are you? Oh, I'm fine, thank you, or whatever. So I realize that I've become more honest without even realizing it. Does that make sense? I haven't realized I've been so honest, like you know me, um, I'll say whatever. Normally I'd say I'm fine, but I'm like, Do you know what? It was a rough week, you know. Like, I would just tell the truth. And someone was like so excited to hear me be honest. They're like, thank you, thank you for telling the truth. And I was just like, Because why was the point of lying? Like, it doesn't make any sense to me. Like, why am I gonna smile at you and just say, and it's not to say I talk to that person all the time or we got each other's number, whatever. I didn't have to give the details of my week, I just said it was a rough week. But that made them feel like so drawn to continue, want to conversate because they're like, I love that. You were honest, thank you. Like, you didn't come with this whole typical, like, quote unquote Adventist response. Where it's this generic response, right? This generic response of like, happy stuff. I'm good, thank you. It was good, you know. Like, it wasn't all of that, and I was like, I don't have to be honest, I said to that person, it takes more energy for me to have to put on this facade and wear this mask than it takes for me to just tell you the truth. And they're like, Wow, that's the but it does. I don't I don't I don't have the energy to be doing all of that. If it was a rough week, it was a rough week, but thank God I'm here. Do you know what I'm saying? So I'm not dismissing the fact that God has kept me, I'm not dismissing the fact that He still provided for me. That's all I'm saying, but it doesn't mean it wasn't a rough week, yeah, and I feel like that's where I've been building some great relationships in church because of that honesty I've been having with people, and like that person I spoke to um and his wife, they were both, they both said to me, like, I've I haven't really come across someone like you in church before. Because they were like, Normally you'd come to church and like people just be, they won't be as friendly, they won't be like genuinely friendly. I think that's where they're coming from. And I was like, but I'm just being me. But I said to them, I'm also trying to show you what I did not get, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

You used to be welcoming. It used to be, I feel like now when I attend my old church, it feels like I'm in school, it feels like clicks. Where before it was very welcoming, you know, people would invite you invite you around for lunch. Do you need a lift? Like from what it was to where we are now, especially the fact that we're in the end of times, it has changed dramatically. Dramatically. Because I've been in I've been visiting that church for what 20 years. So 20 plus. And I've I've seen it, I've seen it changed. I've seen, you know, yeah, I think all the people that were stewards of Yacht have moved out of London. And one thing that I I took notice today, today I was I was walking around, like getting some few bits, and there was this there was a man that was preaching, and a girl just went up to him, and I don't know, she said her business, and he prayed for her, and she was crying. And I was thinking, you know what, that is what's missing. Where is the prayer warriors? Where are do you know what sis or bro, you're gonna get through this? We're gonna pray together. I feel like everything now is um, because should they ask what did they ask? How can we make it better? And I feel like everything now is to judge, or everybody's trying to make themselves look better. Um and there's something that you said to me last week actually, and I was thinking to myself, like, oh, why was that why was that said? Like, why couldn't they just keep that to themselves

Vulnerability In Groups And Disappointment

SPEAKER_02 18:06

and pray for that person? Because that's how business is is spreaded. Do you know what I mean? Without going into too much detail. Yeah, it just made me think, yeah, and I think that is that is the issue that we have within the church right now, which doesn't make it safe because we've been distracted. It's like Satan's planted a seed and there's distraction.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

I'm gonna agree to disagree with what you said in regards to the church being more welcoming back in the day. That applies to people who are in the church. For me, being in church at that time, being new, I didn't necessarily have the same reception. So what you're saying applies to you because you were in church, like you went with the church.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

I'm talking about when I first came in. I was welcomed. Oh well for I'm not talking about like being a member, like I was welcome, I went to different people's houses that I didn't even know. My mum was even saying that's wild. I remember she was just like, Oh, I went here and I went this, like, because I I walked in. Yes, my friend invited me to that church, but she wasn't a churchgoer, so then I was just left alone and different people took me underneath their wing.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Okay, well, if we're gonna answer that question of how is it gonna get better, we need to go back to the way church used to be.

SPEAKER_02 19:19

But you said that wasn't your experience when you first entered that church.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

No, it wasn't, but I guess going back to where it used to be for you, the way you got it, I'm not saying it it's So how was it for you?

SPEAKER_02 19:30

This is interesting. So when you first walked in, how was it for you? Like you were just left alone, nobody greeted you.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

I don't remember the exact details. I remember at some point I did end up with friends, but I just don't remember those friends I had. How do I describe how do I how do I describe this?

SPEAKER_02 19:47

Without removing the friends before you found friends, but maybe you can't remember that part.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Yeah, I don't remember that part, that's what I'm saying. Because how did I end up in the church? I mean, I got invited into the church, so when I started coming, I was coming with my family. So no, I didn't have friends, it was just I didn't have anybody, it was just my family I had. I gained friends years after, maybe when I started coming on my own. So I didn't have the same reception with what you're talking about in regards to like my family being invited to lunch and whatever. Like we didn't have that. Maybe and the thing is, even then when I gained friends, maybe I only had those invites because I was with those people, but I always felt personally, I always felt like I wasn't accepted, I wouldn't be accepted until I'm baptized. So and that's part of the reason why I got baptized the first time because I didn't know.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

So that wasn't your friends?

SPEAKER_01 20:39

That was the whole church in general, not my friends. My friends accepted me because when I had the friends in church, they didn't feel like my church friends, they felt like my friends to me, right? Because we had a relationship outside of church, whereas so it wasn't for their approval, it was for like the rest of the members' approval. Like maybe they'll accept me if I get baptized because it seemed like nobody wanted me to be well, I didn't know that's how the rules work, like you have to be baptized to do certain things in church. So I got baptized so that I can feel more included. Uh I wanted to do things in church, and I wanted to be involved, and I wanted to be okay.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

So now you can because I I I get what you mean. Because I was just thinking like, huh? So because basically No, but I also wasn't accepted. People who don't know, like for you to do anything within the Adventist church, you have to be baptized. But again, that is like I don't know, because I've seen people that are not baptized sing on the stage. But to I don't even know, to have a role in church, you have to be baptized.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

But the thing is, I didn't even want a role, I just wanted to do simple things like sing or help out here and there. Do you know what I mean? I wasn't really looking for a role, but I felt completely rejected with not being able to do anything unless I was baptized. That's what I that's the conclusion I came to. Because I did not even feel welcomed in that way. Do you know what I'm saying? I didn't feel a part of the church family until I got baptized.

SPEAKER_00 22:10

Okay. So that's the main thing.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

That's what I'm talking about. Like, it's not even just like taking on roles, but just to feel accepted into that church. I felt like I needed to be baptized for that to happen. So

Judgment Baptism And Belonging

SPEAKER_01 22:20

I was fighting for their approval instead of obviously, it wasn't correct. So I'm being honestly, I'm being honest. Obviously, I know that now. But for me, I just wanted to be involved in a church so badly. That's the time I really was like clinging on to wanting a place of acceptance. And I would have really hoped that church would have done that for me. Because maybe I wouldn't have gone the path I did. Maybe I would have strayed, but not that badly. Or do you know what I mean? I I don't really know. But maybe if I had that guidance that I really needed, I don't think I would have strayed the way I did, if that makes sense. Because when I walked out, I walked out because I got hurt. And I just I walked out, I got hurt by the church and I walked out and I didn't go back in there for eight years. Because I said, Well, the world accepts me for who I am because I was doing stuff like my nails and you know, I had my ears pierced and all these things like that. And I felt, well, like I don't understand that's who I am. I feel judged every time I walk in here for being who I am. I used to wear rings and stuff like that, and I felt like I was a different person every time I came into church. So at the door, I'd take all my rings off, I would take my earrings out, I would, you know, like all these things. There's like this facade, like I'll be hiding my nails, like so I was so. So it's not a safe space? No, yeah. So for me, being an if you're talking as a new person, no, it's not a safe space because that's what I felt I had to do. But then again, if you're a person that doesn't, does not concern about what people think, you're fine. You'll walk in and just deal with it. But when you have those eyes on you and you're just it's uncomfortable, it's not a nice feeling, it really isn't. And I just I was more focused on people judging me or feeling judged than the sermon. So that's just my experience personally. And I always say, because I didn't grow up Adventist and I grew up in different like denominations, I can speak because I've had the experience. So maybe it's not a safe space, but that's that's the sad part. And we just in discussion with an individual I was having the other day, you know, I remember that that person approached me asking me to pray for our church about a year ago or two years ago, and I didn't understand it at the time. And I prayed, but I didn't pray with I said to them recently, I didn't pray with a passion that I should have prayed because I couldn't get where they were coming from, but now I understand now, and I need to make it a mission more to pray for our church, and church meaning the people, not the building, because we are the church, so yeah, it's important because I'm raising a child in the church and it's a struggle. You know what? I didn't reflect on this at the beginning of the question, and I'm gonna change my answer from the beginning. No, it's not a safe space, and I'm saying flat out no. Because I'm looking at me now raising a child in the church, and it's not a safe space for my child either. I'm going through constant battles all the time, and we've got to do better as parents. And if the next generation are going to struggle in staying in church if we don't fix up as parents, that's the one thing I will say. We need to change what we're doing. Our age group, our generation, me and UCC, we need to fix up because our next generation of children, there's not gonna be any church. There's not gonna be any church if we don't fix up. I'm telling you. We're doing too much of this, like my child didn't do this, my child didn't do that. We've got this defense mode up, and I don't see why. And we're not focusing on not nurturing your children for the world to see to look impressive, but genuinely nurturing your children from their homes and let those characteristics continue to flourish in church. Because I see my child doing it, and he's being mistreated in a certain way by other children because they're all they're not having that at home. So he's being judged by his own peers that should be doing the same thing that I'm teaching him at home. So I get if he's going through that at school, because that's different, you know what I mean? That's different cultures, everything, different religious is in school. But him coming to the place that's meant to be a quote unquote safe space and he's getting that at church, it is really an issue. It's a big problem.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

And do you feel like you can be honest as a parent? No. Other parents?

SPEAKER_01 26:27

Nope. I will say that very bluntly. I cannot. Because you want to approach other parents and you can tell they have this characteristic that they're ready to come for you, or they would shut it down. Because there's even a moment where I told him to approach a parent about it, and they said they just they just, you know, shoved it off. I tried to approach a parent recently, and they also shoved it off as it was nothing. So no, I don't because I thought that pro there's one parent I've been needing to speak to, but I don't find them an approachable person, and I do not feel comfortable. My spirit just does not feel comfortable at all approaching them. And then there's another parent I did approach, and once again it got shut down. It didn't be seen as anything. So no, parents are not approachable. So we're failing our children. I'm not saying my kid is perfect, that's what I'm saying, but I'm just saying if my child sees someone doing something wrong and that child is being rude to them about it because he said something, and if I come to talk to you about it, you're gonna shut it down. Nah, we're not doing right by our kids at all. So, what can we do to change that? I would have personally said it would have been nice if we had a safe space, like it was a safe space where you can approach people to speak about things because we're not perfect, right? We're all sinners saved by grace, yes? So I don't have a problem approaching people, but it's the reaction you're gonna get. Like the way people will come for you, my like fear in a way. Do you know what I mean? Like I genuinely like feel fear to want to talk to people in church about stuff because I don't know what could come for me, like in regards to like the way they're gonna come for me or the way they're gonna react to me. And because I know I have to see those people all the time, I just avoid it. I just avoid saying anything. I really do. And it's it's sad it has to be that way.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

Like, but yeah, I just want to point out that we're talking about a particular church.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

This doesn't speak about for all churches, because as I said, I've been to other churches where they are a family. So there are churches that are a family and are loving and are kind. So I don't want people to be like, oh, like if especially if you're a new listener, like to be like, oh, I'm not gonna go to a church building. But I think the two things from an for if you're going to a building and it's your first time, I always say like to pray. Whatever you have, whatever you are carrying, I would say to pray about it before you tell anyone like, yeah, lead me to a person that will be able to help me. And I think for those of us who have been in the church building for too long and have been complacent, I feel like you actually need to renew yourself and think about if whatever that person is bringing me or whatever they're saying to me, if I was in their shoes, how would I want this information to be said? Do I want it to be gossip? Do I want to be judged? Do I want to be? I think that's how we have to look. And I think more of us need to stand up. Like if somebody is saying something that is vulnerable, and that could be anything, because what could be vulnerable to Shane might not be vulnerable to me, and vice

Parenting Battles And Church Safety

SPEAKER_02 29:21

versa. But if somebody's coming to you with information, you need to ask yourself, why am I telling another church brother or sister? Like, what does it do for that person? Because you're gossiping, you're not praying about number one. You shouldn't even be you should be praying with that person who came to tell you about this and check in with them, not to tell other people. Um, and I think that's what needs to change, and that's one of the things that in that particular church that we're talking about, where Shay goes to, it's one of the one of one of my reasons why I left after something that I saw. Like I still go there, but it there's a lot of things where I've now denounced Adventism because I just there's just a lot of things I don't agree with, and one of that is like there's no love for me for like when I when I look at the church. That's my personal experience, but I just think from a building point of view, things could change because it's a hospital, we are all sinners, and sometimes when you hear the word, when you hear someone give a testimony, you think, oh my gosh, I'm not alone, I'm not struggling. So imagine if we was all meant to come together and be a unit, and whatever what whatever people are going through, whether it be lust, whether it be drugs, whether it's infertility, whether it's singleness, what whatever it is, we should be able to pray for these things and pray for that that person and check in with that person, and that's where I say like Satan has planted a seed within the within churches because he knows that his time is coming to an end, and he's he's corrupt our minds with other stuff. So we just need to get back on our knees and remember what is our goal. We want our brothers and sisters to be saved, and you know, the narrow path is not easy. So if we was all meant to help each other, it's like Shay and I used to be um accountable for each other, but she left me alone. It's okay there, and we're being honest there, and and um we used to be accountable for each other, so we will pray because only he can help us. Do you know what I mean? We are we are weak by ourselves. So if the church was meant to come together, we'll be so strong that we'll be able to fight against Satan.

SPEAKER_01 31:27

Um I'm gonna leave that comment alone. Um do you know what? I completely agree with what you're saying in regards to like I really don't want anything I've said. I know it sounds like I'm putting you off of going to church. That's not the case because I still love going to church, right? I can't I feel uncomfortable missing a week of church. And it's not because it's routine, it's because I enjoy going. Like right now, I don't feel 100%. But I don't feel like staying at home tomorrow, even if I don't go for the whole time or whatever. Like, I just I need that refreshing. I enjoy that refreshing I get personally from stepping into the building. And even my son just said to me, like, Mom, I can't wait to go to church tomorrow. Like, he's excited. So, like, even with all the things that I may have faced and that that I'm that's happening, like I feel like God's presence is still guiding me to want to be there. And so it's the same way I can go to work and I go through God knows madness. Like, do you know what I mean? I'm not saying we should be going through things at church, but I'm just saying the same way you can still keep going to work where you're going through battles there because you want your money, it's the same way you can keep still keep attending church or find yourself a great church because you want to continue in your relationship with Elohim. But yeah, I really don't want anyone to feel put off. You know, the Bible does speak about fellowshipping with fellow brothers and sisters, and so I feel like it's something that it's very good for us. I've had it so many times where I may not really feel like going to church, and I've gone to church and I've left feeling so refreshed so many times. Even in those days, I've really pushed myself where I'm like, I don't want to go, and I've just left and I just feel like so, you know, lifted. And so that's what fellowshiping can really do for you. And uh, my favorite part of service is praise and worship. And so even if I just remember one little thing from the sermon, that praise and worship is normally what really lifts me. And there's something about praise and worship in the building that you cannot beat. Um, it's just that special feeling that it gives you.

SPEAKER_02 33:31

Hopefully, this answered your question. If not, do send another email. I know, I know Shay is our prayer warrior, so we could finish with Shay doing a prayer.

SPEAKER_01 33:40

Okay, everyone, let's pray. Holy, blessed, wonderful Yahshua, Yahweh, Alpha and Amiga are beginning and the end. Thank you, Father God in heaven, for a brand new day. And thank you, Elohim, for waking us up and allowing us to see through another week. Asking you, Father Lord in heaven, to please be with those listening to this podcast right now, Lord. Just pray, Heavenly Father, that you have blessed them and you've given

Practical Steps To Make It Better

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them any answers that they've needed to hear. Thank you for our listener who sent in the question. And I just pray that this has also answered their question as well. Praying, Heavenly Father, Lord, that anything that that individual may be going through, any challenges that they may be having in church, may you please, Heavenly Father Lord, intervene. May your will be done. Father God, may you fix it, Lord in heaven, whatever is in need of fixing. And Lord, I want to pray, Lord in heaven, for your church right now. Gracious God in heaven, be with your church. Elohim, step in and take control. Be with the leaders of our churches, Heavenly Father, Lord. Gracious God in heaven, from our pastors, our deacons, deaconesses, all the department leaders, Lord in heaven, even those on the boards and our conferences, etc., Heavenly Father, Lord, please be with each and every church. And I'm not just talking about our dominate denomination, but the church as a whole. Be with the churches across the world. Father Lord, be with parents, Lord, who are raising children in these times, because they are the next generation that will be running the church. And so, Elohim, I pray that you may guide them and please help them, Lord, what the battles that they are going through with being in church and being in the world as they go to school, as they come to church. Heavenly Father, Lord, may the teachers of church be so powerful they can overpower whatever is happening within the world, whatever is happening in their surroundings outside of church, Lord in heaven. Be with parents as they raise their children in these times, trying to teach them the right moral and morals, Lord in heaven. Lord in heaven, be the light that they need. Guide their steps as they go forward. And Heavenly Father, Lord, please be of us, Lord in heaven, that we may not be walking and being in cliques or being in groups, Lord in heaven. Help us to be more welcoming. Lord in heaven, may your love shine within the church, Lord, so that when every individual walks into any building, they feel your presence, Lord. That they are able to be vulnerable, they are able to be themselves, that they are not being condemned and judged, Heavenly Father, Lord, because once you are not condemning them, why should we? What right do we have to judge others? And so Elohim, help us to remember this, Lord, in heaven. And as especially us that's been in the church for so many years, help us to not forget where we came from, how far you've brought us, and to continue, Lord in heaven, to share our testimonies with others so that they know and remember, so that they know, learn, and remember, Lord, that you are all powerful, you are our savior, and that you can do anything, Lord, for us, Lord. Thank you, Lord in heaven, for this time. Thank you, Lord in heaven, for being with us, Lord, and for this time to be able to share and speak, Lord in heaven, about what you've placed on our hearts. We love you, Lord. In your blessed name is we pray. Amen.

Prayer Closing And How To Write

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See you guys soon. See you guys, take care.

SPEAKER_02 36:55

If you enjoyed this episode, please do share to your friends and loved ones and to people that might need to hear this word. And if you have a question or scenario, then please send it to our email address at unquote Christian number one. Thank you for always listening and thank you for your support.