Leta's Tap Styles

Diverse Beats: Life’s Dance Through Neurodiversity

• Leta and Amanda • Season 2

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In this heartwarming and informative episode of 'Leta Tap Styles', hosts Leta and Amanda welcome Dr. Kristen Williamson, a licensed professional counselor with a PhD in Behavioral Health Management. Join them as they discuss living with autism and ADHD and how it affects their every day life. Come along as they share personal stories, the challenges of masking behaviors, and the unique experiences of military families. Shared anecdotes provide insights into the struggles and triumphs of managing neurodiverse conditions.

Places you can find Dr Kristen Williamson

https://www.tiktok.com/@empowerminds.solu?_t=ZP-8u5O0AOqGHW&_r=1

https://www.instagram.com/@empowermindsolutionsllc

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573292573273&name=xhp_nt__fb__action__open_user

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristensmith0045/ 


Check out our website for a mini biography of Dr Williamson and all of our past and future guests

https://www.letatapstyles.com

You can find the podcast at

https://www.tiktok.com/@letatapstylespodcast

You can find Leta (and her tap dance videos) on the web at

https://www.instagram.com/@letatapstyles (run by her mom.)

You can (sometimes) find Amanda at

https://www.instagram.com/antrisdale

Check out Leta's nonprofit dance studio for dancers on the Spectrum and donate by visiting their website

https://www.autisticwingsdancecompany.org




Leta:

Hello, this is Leta, and this is me and my mommy's podcast. And there's my mommy, and there's me, and I'm just talking about this stuff. And there's me tap dancing, because this is a tap dancing slash autism podcast. And there's a bunch of animals, and a wallby trying to eat my hair. And there's a bunch of sand and ocean. Also, there's all the SoleTalk stuff. I love all my mentors and friends in SolteTalk. And, also, oh, yes. Yeah, it's like life's and happy ending. Oh, and also, there's my boots. My boots are amazing. Also, there's me, trying not to have a panic attack. Also, this is a podcast about me, and autism, and tap dancing, and blah, blah, blah. I'm just ADHD and this is it. Also, there's my cute, adorable puppies.

Amanda:

Welcome to this week's Friend's Friday here on Leta Tap Styles. Leta is doing her hair last minute. Cause I had told her to do it last minute. I'm sure she'll have something to say about that. If she could get to her mic, we have Dr. Kristen Wilson, Williamson on. Geez, this is why I never introduced my guests. I have tried over and over to introduce our guests. When I try and do it, I sound like I am a robot reading the introduction. Do you mind introducing yourself to our listeners?

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Absolutely. I don't know that I can make myself sound any less like a robot because I feel as though my introduction seems pretty Can record it. I don't know. I have a script in my brain that says, let's read it like this. But hi, I'm Dr. Kristen Williamson. You could just call me Kristen. I am a licensed professional counselor in the big old state of Texas, although I'm also licensed in Kansas, Minnesota, Maine. Hopefully soon to be Georgia, but licensing takes forever and I have a doctorate of behavioral health management. I haven't really done anything other than get to use the title doctor with it.

Amanda:

I think my Ph. D. in physics sometimes that's the only reason I have. Like, you can call me doctor. Uh, I don't use it on a regular basis, but

Dr Kristen Williamson:

That's exactly

Amanda:

weight around at IEPs, it's like, it's doctor. And they're all like, oh.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

IEPs, it 100 percent gets you having everyone else sit up a little bit straighter.

Amanda:

And they don't need to know since I'm advocating for others that, uh, it is not a psychiatric or anything like that, though a few times people have asked and they're like, what's it in? And I'm like, uh, quantum and theoretical physics. And then the entire table goes.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

See, I love that. I don't have that. I have it getting on an airplane. My husband is waiting for the day for somebody to say, is there a doctor on board? And he'd be like, yes. And I say, not that kind, not that kind. Oh,

Amanda:

it's more like, oh, you guys all went silent. I might know. A little bit, uh, cause, you know, when they start throwing out, Oh, this is what stats are. I'm like, I think I may have seen stats once or twice.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

my gosh. Yes,

Amanda:

IEP meetings are fun.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

there's

Amanda:

Anyways. Oh, uh, you have an entire neuro spicy family, as you call them.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I do. I have a husband who did not get diagnosed until he was 46 after accidentally taking yogurt that had my kids Adderall in it because I don't know how it is for you in your life, but it's hard to learn to swallow medication.

Amanda:

Oh, yes.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

And so we, we very quickly learned that you can open them up and put them in yogurt or an applesauce or in something and it just, it helps. And so I had gotten medicine ready unbeknownst to him. That was not, it was just a yogurt. And then he said, my world has gone quiet and I'm like, oh, boy. Oh, boy, that's that's indicative, but I have a 15 year old. On the spectrum with ADHD, and then I have a 12 year old. Who doctors are really coming around and hypothesizing that she is ADHD. They just, because she's making good grades, we're just not really pushing forward with a diagnosis quite yet. I,

Amanda:

I am not sure how I got diagnosed in the eighties. Uh, cause I was the one with the good grades and, you know, I think it was just that I wouldn't shut up talking. And so my teachers were like, Oh, you might have ADHD.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I think it's so cool that you were diagnosed in the 80s. I did not get diagnosed until after mid 30s!

Amanda:

I love talking to adults who got diagnosed later because I hated being diagnosed in the eighties and nineties. Just because of what all the counselors said, they were like, well, you're good enough to try and mask. Don't be autistic. Don't be ADHD.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Yeah, the, the, the social norms that come in with, you need to mask, you need to do this, they're coming out now with it. And I'm reading this book. It's called women and girls on the autism spectrum. And it just talks about women later on in life. How the burnout is just exhausting and brain https: otter. ai Flowers in your hair. That's amazing. Oh,

Amanda:

Can you move? Let's stop long enough to say thanks. She's like, I have my hands full. I

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Ready?

Amanda:

love it. We were, yeah, she went and got a puppy today with it on.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

That's perfect because today's Valentine's

Amanda:

Yes, we're recording this on Valentine's Day. It'll go out later, but this was Valentine's Day craziness. Yeah, we had to go real quick at lunchtime to go grab the puppy with the hair deal and the flowers specifically for your interview today.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I think it's perfect. Absolutely. Perfect.

Amanda:

I wanted. To circle back to the masking because I will say, yes, that is ridiculously true. Um, that was like every single counselor. Every single shrink. My parents sent me to every single psychiatrist. They sent me to was all about you are a girl. You have to mask. And we are finding, I mean, there's paper after paper, and this probably also gets me in trouble at IEPs because I'm like, So have you looked at XYZ paper?

Dr Kristen Williamson:

That's when you come in with receipts, people don't know what to do.

Amanda:

They don't, but there's more and more paper showing masking is harmful.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

It really is and masking. I see it in the form of three different ways. We've got the masking. We've got the, um, assimilation and the compensation. And so with masking, I always try to envision like wearing a theater mask. If I'm going to put on this disguise of being human, you won't know that I am neuro spicy at all. I've got my mask on. And then. With the assimilation, it comes into how much can I integrate into this crowd and you won't know any of this. And then the last one is compensation. How much are my quirks? Making it to where I cannot mask as well. I cannot. And so you have to catch on to the, okay, maybe this person's not interested in talking about dinosaurs as much. Let me pause. And then. Have a conversation with something that they potentially might want to talk about.

Amanda:

That is one thing my husband hasn't figured out. But I love him for it. I do get family members of his. He can only handle them so long because they don't like it. They're like, can you quit talking about dinosaurs or rocks? And he's like, no.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I have a sign behind me that says if you Be yourself? Great. But if not, be a dinosaur.

Amanda:

Yeah, he wanted to go into paleontology. The whole reason he's in the Air Force is that Southern Methodist University said they wouldn't bring him on as a master student because he didn't have differential equations. But because he had published papers as an undergrad, they were willing to bring him in as. Lecturer, assuming he could find somewhere else to get his master's and he got, he hates other, like, he hate watches their football games and stuff. He can tell you how bad they're doing.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Just the fact that he hate watches it.

Amanda:

And it's been over 2 decades. I'm like, you don't understand autism means things get stuck a little bit longer.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

They really do. It's like we have an open loop. And it just doesn't stop.

Amanda:

Oh, yeah. No. But, and he can mask ish, but he's in the military now that you can be openly autistic and ADHD in the military. He's just like, oh, so we're all just as crazy.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Amanda:

I'm sure, you know, the number it's 3 out of 5 military kids are now officially diagnosed with autism.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I didn't know that number, but I was coming into the hypothesis that military kids, they're falling through the cracks.

Amanda:

They are, um, which is really sad because we've got all those programs that are supposed to be working, um, EFMP, did I say that out loud? Oh,

Dr Kristen Williamson:

You may have it. Think about it. And it's beautiful that you are a military family because you can see this. It's you're somewhere for 18 months. As girls, like, we can cover it up. We can mask. We can do this. The mask starts slipping and teachers notice or someone else notices. Doctors notice, but then you get transferred to a new base and start all over again.

Amanda:

and the new base can. Be very great for masking. Um, she does not mask. She is thankfully growing up where she is like, I'm not going to mask. You can ask me to mask. The answer is no.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

That's fantastic. I need a world where more people have this mindset.

Amanda:

That's one of the reasons we started Autistic Wings. Her dance company was the teachers were like, we need her to mask so that we feel more comfortable.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I noticed this in the adult world for females, particularly we are held to a much higher standard. Of you need to fit into this other person's box so they will be comfortable with you. You need to smile, be nice to humans, be nice to men, be like, you can't have a face that says I'm having a bad day because females can't do that. Or you need to be spectacular at cooking. I will tell you, I am not the cook in the family. We can microwave hot pockets.

Amanda:

I thankfully have a. I do cook because I have a food allergy, so I had to learn whether I wanted to or not, but my husband cooks just as much because he's like, well, when you go down with your anemia and you're in bed, I've got to cook for you. So,

Dr Kristen Williamson:

See, that's awesome to find just a life partner to come in and say, you know what? When you don't have it, I've got you. And then vice versa.

Amanda:

it gets annoying though, because all my friends are like, you have nothing to complain about. I'm like, I can't, I get that he's better than all of your guys husbands and life partners. But,

Dr Kristen Williamson:

So I don't know how your husband does with this with mine. He was a nuclear technician on submarines for 20 years. And this was well before being on the spectrum where ADHD was allowed was a thing. Um, so most of the nukes have a little bit spiciness to their brain. They just don't have anything expressly stating that. But this beautiful man, he dances to the beat and music that's only in his head. And if I can think of non masking, I can just see him in grandma pants, in a Hawaiian t shirt, and just living life. Doing the best and I watch him just not giving a hoot what anybody else thinks about oh

Amanda:

right up until the point he comes home and goes, hi, X, Y, Z of my, uh, especially when he was on officer training school, um, not as a trainee, but as the flight instructor, right up until the point he needed something done. And he's like, hi, honey, you have. A Rolodex, I need this for my flight or my cadet. What do you have for my trainee? Like, I can find what you needed because he had, like, especially because he was dealing with it during covet and he was coming home going. So, I have a trainee who needs X, Y, Z at home. They haven't their trainee. They don't have prior enlistment. Who do, you know, an X, Y, Z area because he's like, you have the political. Dill you know the generals who can you get to their spouse like yesterday,

Dr Kristen Williamson:

that's ooh, it's it's always nice to have the hookup

Amanda:

but it's hard cuz he is he is very definitely He's like I'm not autistic I'm like dude you were in speech therapy to the point you got a car when you graduated speech therapy not a matchbox a Thing with a key that you drive down the street

Dr Kristen Williamson:

that's I Honestly, it builds back to the stigma. It builds back to the stigma of we can't be autistic. No, I'm in the military I'm doing all these things. I have a family I I Normal

Amanda:

He is so autistically oblivious. He's like, Didn't everyone have speech through high school? Not exactly, dear.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Do you ever have moments of, Oh, other people know this? I had no idea because I definitely have those moments.

Amanda:

Oh, yeah. I definitely have those moments. And it's fun.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Fun's a word for it.

Amanda:

But it is so much nicer seeing this generation. I mean, we are now allowing you into the military on Adderall.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I think that's fantastic. It's just being allowed to the military with a diagnosis of autism because autism and military go really well together. It's structure, it's listening and following rules for the most part.

Amanda:

That is Lita's usual response if she wasn't doing her hair. Do you have your earbud in? Okay, because your usual response is they're all autistic, and that's why all their kids are autistic, isn't it?

Leta:

Magnet. That's how it works.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh, they do flock together.

Amanda:

She's like, the military's a magnet, and it takes all the autistic people, because like what you said, it's structure.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Well, in our brain, we do really well with structure. My kiddo wants to go military. And I get it. Although he wants to go military so he can avoid more school. So

Amanda:

was so upset he went military when he had like four other grad schools willing to let him get his master's. But SMU was his dream school because he wanted to go paleontology.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

that's, I love hearing about other adults and their brains because brains are so interesting. And the way that we Sometimes can choose our actions and the way sometimes our brain just takes over and says, Nope, this is happening, whether you like it or not.

Amanda:

Well, and I'm like, he's like, what is masking? I'm like, the thing you don't do the thing you absolutely do not do because his commanding officer was like, where did Lita get her? When we got her diagnosed, he's like, why was it so quick to get her diagnosed? It was like two seconds in and there

Leta:

My mother. I was doomed. From the start. I was doomed.

Amanda:

his commanding officer at the time was like. Your husband's not autistic, he's just quirky.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

It, it makes even all TV shows Sheldon Cooper temperance Brennan from the show bones. They're, they're not autistic. They're just quirky.

Amanda:

Yeah, uh, though, what is it now? They're trying to say Spongebob is an autistic character?

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I've not heard that one. I could totally see.

Leta:

I

Amanda:

He does like he's a bully. Yeah,

Leta:

Patrick's the autistic one.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

They're both, you know, they're best friends. Spicy brains link up.

Amanda:

I just, I'm like, uh, I'm not 100 percent sure I see it, but if that's what you guys claim you have always meant for Spongebob, that is what I will

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Yeah?

Leta:

It's like them and changing the boogie monster's daughter into autistic. I mean, she was a perfectly good character, not being autistic, but monster, I just had to turn her autistic!

Amanda:

She has her opinions. But that's great that this age can have them now.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Right, we're not shutting the opinions down. We're not saying you just need to be quietly in the corner.

Amanda:

I had tea I had, uh, Therapists that not only was I supposed to be quietly in the corner, I was supposed to, in order to make friends, do what they like, like what they like, and then you'll be friends and kids. I knew when I was a kid before, I was like, screw this. I'm going to be who I am. They're like, you're nothing. Like, we thought you were like, what were you? And I'm like, uh, that was a character.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

That's It's so cool just how our brains go because our spicy brains, we come in with, we see something on TV or we create this vast amount of characters and landscapes and worlds in our brain. And we say, oh, I see this on TV. That elicits a laugh. I can say this and others will laugh too. And then we say it, but we might not have said it with the same comedic timing or we say something, but our facial features don't match. And then people just kind of look at us. And they're like, that was kind of weird, but okay.

Amanda:

And my therapists were like, what you need to do is quit doing that. And just whatever you're. These kids you want to be friends with and I'm like, I'm not 100 percent sure. I want to be friends with them, but I guess the adults say I have to. So, and they're like, you have to do exactly what they do and everything and don't be as good as them because people don't want you to be as good as them.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

It very much says keep your flame lower to make sure others can shine, which no, it's taken me a lifetime to learn. I don't have to remain small because sometimes

Amanda:

I've tried to explain. Yeah, I've tried to explain to my interns and junior staffers. You let yourself shine. But, caveat to that, do not act like a know it all because you're not going to be the know it all. You're the smartest person in the room if you know where your failings are, but that doesn't mean you're letting your light dim. You're also really smart if you know who's smarter than you in that area and you can go ask them.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I love that, that you're smart and wonderful and beautiful, but you're not the smartest.

Amanda:

Yes. And being the smartest means knowing who's smarter than you.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

That's exactly right. And just who to go talk to, who to ask questions for. And it's, I like coming out now and being just the biggest advocate for ask questions. It's okay. It doesn't make you look silly. It doesn't make you look goofy. If you don't know, ask.

Amanda:

One of the things I had a problem with, like all of her dance teachers is they were like, well, I didn't understand the autism and now you're pulling her out because I did something wrong and I didn't. I wasn't going to ask you because I'm not going to ask you, but you should have just automatically known and Lita should have known. And Lita should have told me what was you want to take that?

Leta:

As long as I'm old enough to do the finger fainting. Cause if I called them the B word, that would be offending pregnant bitches dogs. That would be offending dogs, and how good they are at being mothers.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Fair.

Amanda:

I do not think sometimes adults know how those words can leave lasting impressions.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Yeah. It, it almost like it's got a chisel in your brain and just kind of etches it into the walls. That. Yes, we could move past, but it doesn't mean that that goes away.

Amanda:

And I did like them because without it. Fell, you know, we're military, we've moved to multiple cities. So I can say this is not just the city. We're in. It has been across the country. Uh, she's like, this is the 1st, actual city because Montgomery and Las Cruces and Melbourne. Here we got to Colorado Springs, it's, you know, 700, 000 people and everyone's like, it's a small town and lead is like, let me tell you where I've been stationed with the

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh my gosh! A small town.

Amanda:

and she's like, no, no. And she's like, you guys are, I think she does question whether or not we're in civilization. Cause the nearest Bucky's finally opened up and it's 2 hours to the north.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh, you were missing out. I've got a Buc ee's six miles from my house.

Amanda:

Did you hear that Lita a Bucky 6? She's like, I'm ignoring that when we were in Austin for the eclipse, the 1 that was, uh, was not open yet. Yeah,

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh.

Amanda:

we were like, we'll go. And then it's like, yeah, they're not going to get it open in time for the eclipse. I'm like,

Dr Kristen Williamson:

they don't know what

Amanda:

cause when we were in Alabama, we had Bucky's down the street and it was like, Yay, I can at least pretend I'm close enough to Borderlands, Texas at this point.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

is, it is just beautiful. It's my favorite place to walk around.

Amanda:

I will say it does overwhelm my husband. We learned that the hard way. He needs to sit in the car while we're shopping at Buc ee's.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Fair enough. It can, I was, as I said that, I'm like, it is kind of overwhelming though. For me, my biggest sources of overwhelm are Home Depot or Lowe's and Costco.

Amanda:

That yeah, no, that definitely we, we were at target today with everyone doing their Valentine's day shopping. And I'm like, I remember why I don't do target on Valentine's day.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh, I went yesterday for this and I very much had the same thought of, Oh, I'm going to stay home tomorrow.

Amanda:

We were at the dance studio all day yesterday and couldn't get away because she was filming promos for a fundraiser

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh,

Amanda:

they went straight into classes

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Yeah.

Amanda:

because we have out we're turning students away. We've outgrown our space.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

That's amazing.

Amanda:

And it's, we had another parent yesterday that I love our parents and I'm trying to be nice. She's not as nice as I am because she's like, and I'm like, honey, it's a different generation. The parents came up like with me origin and Z and it's different generations. Uh, the kids are teachers, like, I'll meet you where they are. Don't mask. Don't make them do stuff. She's like, we can work around them. And the parents are always like, oh, my God, please don't judge my kid. Let me fix my kid.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh, that just, as a parent of a kid on the spectrum, or just NeuroSpicy family in general, I, I had that thought a lot when, when he was younger. Because you would be in a store and of course he'd get overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed, but I have the words for it He didn't and so that would create meltdowns and again, I understood it But then people are looking at you saying what a bad mom. Why can't you do this? Oh

Amanda:

We have some of you do not respond right now because I know what you're we have a lot of autism activities in this town that some of our students at the studio have been kicked out of them for being too autistic.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

talk about inclusivity

Amanda:

I know I'm like, Elita has an opinion that they're not there for. I think. Differently. She's like, they're all there for money. She's like, they're just, I think it's a bunch of people who don't know what they don't know. And they have heard about autism. They have a heart for these kids and they're in savior complex,

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh solid point

Amanda:

um, but they don't know what they don't know. So, like, we've got 1 little girl that when she gets excited, she runs around in a circle. I know shockingly sounds autistic to me.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Wild

Amanda:

Uh, and I'm sitting there going, this is your autistic thing to her parent and she's like, well, no, we've been told that different autistic activities that she needs to stop doing that. And I'm like, masking is

Dr Kristen Williamson:

you come in with just a good luck with that.

Amanda:

Lita had a dance teachers because her stem is a complicated 3 point tap move and they're like, she won't let me correct her stem. I'm like, good luck with that.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

That that's exactly right. And it's the. This is impressive, like, let's just lean into how impressive this is that this can be done. As a stem,

Amanda:

And I'm like, and then they're all like, well, and then she won't stop doing it. I'm like, I don't understand. I don't know if you understand what the word subconscious means, but, uh, she doesn't know she's doing it. So you can yell at her till you're blue in the face to stop subconsciously doing something and she can either focus on not doing what you've told her to do, or she can focus on class. Take your pick!

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I think that's the most important concept to take away from this is. We can do 1 or the other, but doing both. Well, is not going to happen.

Amanda:

No, and I think that's a problem with masking and why the burnout is and the papers that are coming out that are showing that masking literally takes Years off everyone's

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Years, and I'm going to say it's even higher for females, but because we've been again, taught societally do this present like this. I actually have a curiosity if military wives who are on the spectrum, if they have to continue masking even longer. Because they don't get to have that one spot where they can authentically be themselves. It's the, okay, well, I meet friends and I can unmask. But then we move to a new place and it starts all over with, Okay, let's take a deep breath and go say hi to the new command.

Amanda:

I quickly in his, uh, career when our careers are too closely aligned, we need to have a big neon wall between them. And it was really because I didn't want to deal with the new commands every 2 years and trying to be that masking and friends. And I'm like. And they were all asking questions that I'm like, I get that a normal spouse could talk to you about that.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Yep.

Amanda:

And, you know, I was working with members of Congress. I was working with members of Senate and they're like, oh, talk to me about that. And I'm like, do you see us in a skiff right now?

Dr Kristen Williamson:

You know what? And I think that is where you just kind of have it a little bit tougher. What you do is really cool. So people want to know this. They want to come out and hear all these different things and you were, I have no more words for the day. I need to sit silently over here. Please don't look in my direction.

Amanda:

Well, and then they're like, well, then you kind of know what our. Husbands do. And I'm like, yes, but I also know that this is not something you can know. Do you have the clearance level? No. Then why are you asking about this?

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I'm not sure if y'all are a Disney family or not, but you look like Tangled. You look like Rapunzel when she did her hair and braids and it's just filled with flowers and beautiful adornments.

Amanda:

She loves Disney. I think that was, outside of being in New Mexico where you consider home, uh, Disney was probably, and you don't remember it, I think it was your favorite station outside of Las Cruces.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh my gosh, y'all were stationed close to Disney.

Amanda:

We were stationed on the space coast over in Melbourne, Florida. It was 90

Leta:

remember it? It had delicious food!

Dr Kristen Williamson:

The offendedness in her voice. Okay,

Amanda:

fan. She was an Epcot fan.

Leta:

Oh, but I did live with the suit that did this thing.

Amanda:

Animal Kingdom and Epcot. And then you try explaining why your autistic child would rather be at Epcot than Magic Kingdom. And

Dr Kristen Williamson:

my mind, I'm like, you don't even need to explain it. I get it.

Amanda:

And she was in Montessori preschool that was, you know, back before they had nowadays, you have to, like, tell them days in advance. You want to come to the park?

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh,

Amanda:

Um, but we would go over after preschool and her teacher would be like, she had a bad day. And I'm like, well, then we're going.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

the, with the senses, with the proprioceptive sense and the vestibular sense, um, for, I'm. Aware that y'all probably know this, but the vestibular, it really helps calm the body down whenever you're spinning and so sitting in spinny chairs and then you're just central nervous system says, oh, this is nice. Or the proprioceptive where you would jump on trampolines and we put the heavy power on our joints and that calms us down. So going on rides where things are spinning or where you are feeling that pressure. I bet that helps regulate. Yeah.

Amanda:

was a terrible kid today. It was she had a bad day I couldn't get her to under because that teacher really cared. She was like I am out of my league I couldn't get her to understand one thing. I wanted her to understand today, and I know she's absolutely annoyed with me today, and I'm like I appreciate because then we moved because Like you said, you find the good teacher and then you move and we went to a private preschool where I was getting the exact opposite from her teacher. Oh, she drove me up the wall today because she wouldn't could not understand what I was saying.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

One thing about being in a military environment and getting the idea that autism is a thing, because my son absolutely got diagnosed before I did. And that's, I think for a lot of moms, that's been happening is kiddos get diagnosed and then, oh, but we have the same traits. So with him being diagnosed, I made it a point that we are going to say in one school district, start to finish. And Growing up military and then being married to military. I love moving and starting a whole new life and getting a new adventure every time. To a point, because my routine still stays the same, but. The outside changes, so staying in 1 place, you have that itch to move. But the continuity of having. 1 school where the teachers grow with, and they understand and. When he gives them note cards telling them how they could teach better, they don't get offended?

Amanda:

It could be worse. My husband gave his professor a list of ways he misunderstood the textbook.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

That's, I feel that with my 15 year old.

Amanda:

The worst part was my husband at the beginning of the semester had told the professor he totally misunderstood the textbook. The professor didn't was. And my husband's like, fine, you think you understand it at the end. My husband gave him a notebook full of how he misunderstood the textbook and went because the military sent him back to college for another bachelor's degree. And he's like, did you bother to look at my name versus the name on the textbook

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh my gosh.

Amanda:

and the professor? We've still, oh, run into him a few times now that we've moved back to Colorado and he's like, Yeah, I've learned to check because it was Jake, my husband's textbook. She had written the textbook.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

That's amazing.

Leta:

something. I'm pretty sure if we, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna go insane the next three and a half years, we're gonna still be here. I'm gonna go stir crazy.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

It happens.

Leta:

DNA in the way I've lived for the rrrrrrrrrlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll Entire day of my life, it's gonna make me go star crazy.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

It might.

Amanda:

yeah, he's getting back to back assignments here and she's already like, we should be planning them, but we, you know, she's homeschooled. So we got around the school thing.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Everything froze. I

Amanda:

Oh, great. Lita. Are you on there?

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I'm just gonna keep

Amanda:

Can you say hi?

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I'm just gonna

Amanda:

Because I'm froze.

Leta:

Are y'all flows? Yeah. Apples to say hi?

Amanda:

but you don't have the ability to do anything. Hold on while I figure this out real

Leta:

two people are flows.

Amanda:

Oh great. Hold on. Reload. I'm gonna try this.

Leta:

hair looks crazy.

Amanda:

I've lost my internet connection.

Leta:

Oh. Shoot! Now

Amanda:

too?

Leta:

I've lost

Amanda:

Okay, hold on.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

for this, but I'm so here for it. Oh no!

Leta:

purple button? Yeah. Hit

Dr Kristen Williamson:

And they're gone.

Leta:

button. Hold on.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Hopefully they'll come back. It says it's still recording though, so you're just gonna get me sitting here talking.

Leta:

Can you come over here real quick?

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Awkwardly. I don't know how long I'm gonna stay here. I don't know how long you're supposed to be here. But,

Amanda:

Hold on! My internet gave up. Lita's gonna say hi real quick and talk, and then I'm gonna fix her computer real quick. Go ahead, say hi. Wait, what are

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh, I've got something. Hold on.

Leta:

Yes,

Amanda:

Yeah, it's most

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Let me introduce you to Sir Biscuits.

Leta:

beloved

Amanda:

Sweetest cat I have ever seen. I must love that cat.

Leta:

I'm

Amanda:

I must

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Look at how fluffy he is. He

Amanda:

There's fluff.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

only five months old. He is

Amanda:

cat form.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

an accordion. And he doesn't even care.

Amanda:

Oh, I just wanna love that.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

He likes to be held like a baby. Oh, wait, no, don't bite. There we go.

Amanda:

Oh,

Dr Kristen Williamson:

that little baby.

Amanda:

there's cat.

Leta:

There's a cat.

Amanda:

There's a cat. It's with big cat.

Leta:

at

Amanda:

It's a cat. So I have to eat. You can. You got the cat on your deal and you don't want it. She's like, there's a cat. Okay. Sorry. She's like, but there's a cat.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Well, we had to find something to talk about. So I had to introduce you to her, introduce her to Sir Biscuits.

Amanda:

Oh, wonderful. He's so cute.

Leta:

That this is a baby, that this is a baby, that this is a love that's on a kingdom.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

You know, what's funny. So we did research. Ragdoll cats are one of the best cats to have in an autism family because they can be manhandled and they don't care.

Amanda:

Oh, cool.

Leta:

What did the little widow have?

Dr Kristen Williamson:

And so, I make him wear sombreros and hats. He does not care.

Leta:

Yeah, I'm gonna see if I can put my people in this headband. Elsa

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Pitbulls are so beautiful and fun. Oh, yeah.

Amanda:

up with, uh, when we were in Alabama, two of the COVID puppies, and one of them was a pit bull that kept running away to our house. Cause

Leta:

is a deadly town! Oh, murder town town! I love her.

Amanda:

we also got someone decided in the Southeast that it'd be fun to mix working line, hunting beagles with working line, uh, hunting Labradors. Not a good mix.

Leta:

squirrels. Um, Mom? You think went crazy there.

Amanda:

but, um, yeah, that, that, and

Leta:

Also, she might or might not have killed a woodpecker, let Jack have it, and then dragged it in the house before Christmas.

Amanda:

she, you take two hunting line dogs and they become a. Gives you a hunter.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

it does. It, it, you know what? It keeps your house from having invaders of the furry variety.

Amanda:

Yes, it does. And she has had to deal with the squirrelies outside because they have not moved their nest in our trees. And she's like, and if you leave a tree, I will make sure, you know, not to leave the tree.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh, yeah. They will learn.

Amanda:

She is probably not. Everyone's like, she's a beautiful dog. I want to pet that one. I'm like, the petty, staffy mix. That's the one you want to pet. He'll let you pet him. Because she definitely has, you know, beagles are not very pro.

Leta:

rip your guts out, and then rip your throat out, and then turn you into a mummy, and then put you in a fiery pit of death, and then put your ashes into the ocean to be swallowed by a giant killer whale.

Amanda:

Beagles are not well known for being friendly.

Leta:

Supposed she was a COVID pup that was abused? I'm not allowing you to let my dog have a heart attack.

Amanda:

We're not sure she was abused. She was left at the shelter. You know, all those people who got puppies at COVID.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Yep.

Amanda:

The people that had her left her at the shelter with her, um, papers around her neck and a bag of Taco Bell and we're pretty sure that's what they were feeding her was like Taco Bell.

Leta:

She was afraid of you any time she talked to you. She was afraid of any of us coming around the corner. She was dead scared of any sort of water, bottle or otherwise.

Amanda:

I mean, because animals, you have the wrong people who, and even if they like our pit bull, they never had a dog before they decided to get a pit bull puppy. As their 1st, dog, they absolutely spoiled this dog. Like, he had an AC dog house outside. Uh, he had 1 of those, you know, throwing deals that automatically throws the

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh, yeah.

Amanda:

They put up an electrical fence, but they didn't know you had to have the color that goes with it. They got him 1 of those memory foam. Dills dog

Dr Kristen Williamson:

spoiled spoiled.

Amanda:

but they didn't teach him to sit. They didn't teach him to lay down. They didn't teach him place because they didn't know that was, and I think dealing with a lot of our dance teachers, I can't, I have to bring the dog. I think there are a lot like his family where they're like, they have that good heart, but they've never dealt with an autistic kid before. They don't know

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh my god.

Amanda:

to do.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

That's actually, yeah, beautifully put. Um, they want it, they, they love the idea of having a pup, but it's more work than we think it is.

Amanda:

Yeah, because that's all of them were like, I didn't realize, like, I mean, you've got autistic people in your family. Everyone takes things literally.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh yeah.

Amanda:

She had a,

Dr Kristen Williamson:

yeah.

Amanda:

had a teacher who was joking, not in this state, but in a different state going, if you don't. If you mess up during recital, your parents are going to abandon you and send you to an orphanage.

Leta:

I never said that.

Amanda:

What was it that Janie said then?

Leta:

They will ground you in your bedroom and the whole world will completely and totally disown you. Well, that'll burn you at the sink.

Amanda:

And my nine year old autistic daughter took that literally.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I don't know that even I could come in at 40 and not take that in some semblance of straightforward.

Amanda:

I honestly don't know how neurotypical people are like, No, that was me being sarcastic. Why didn't she catch that? Um,

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Sarcasm is still really hard for me. I don't always get it, and I've learned. If someone is joking, I'll say, Is that a joke? And then they realize that it's gone over my head. I don't get it. Or I'll say, I don't get it.

Amanda:

that's still my husband in his forties. It is me too, but I've just learned to just ignore everyone. Your father actually kind of cares sometimes. He's like, I have commanders I have to care about.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Fair.

Amanda:

But even like, Lita's got severe dyslexia. So reading is still difficult. And one of her teachers was like, well, I didn't realize this because you, what was she telling you about your dyslexia, Lita? Do you remember?

Leta:

H is in his sleep? Nerd. Oh, but something about prison, something about never getting a job, and something about probably having to steal everything I had to eat, and something about probably dying in prison and rotting away!

Amanda:

That was coming from a dance teacher. And when I asked her about it, she's like, well, It's because if Lita has a fire under her, she won't be so lazy and will learn to read.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Holy crap.

Amanda:

And then somehow it was mine and Lita's fault that she didn't know that dyslexia actually isn't just you don't want to learn to read.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Dyslexia is hard. I have a therapist friend who's also on the spectrum, and he's got dyslexia. He reads ferociously through audiobooks. Because the words, they, he can't look at a page and understand things nearly as clearly as he can listening to it. I like the idea of audiobooks, but my brain likes to think about other things while they're talking and it's not always easy.

Amanda:

Yeah, my husband and I have that problem that he wants the audiobooks and I'm like, I can't handle the audiobooks. So, uh, you are not listening to them on long car trips unless I have Earphones.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Yes. Earphones. Earplugs. Ear anything. They have made a world of difference. Once I understood that I can wear them as an adult and that's okay. Oh,

Amanda:

because he wants to go play. She absolutely loves tap dancing, but I read papers because I like to go down the bunny trails of papers. There's a reasons. There's a PhD behind my name.

Leta:

Just, just what I would mention, we are at the 8 minute mark, because unlike the last one, this isn't going a full hour.

Amanda:

Okay. She's like, I'm keeping you on track here. Um. On the time, but she absolutely loves tap. She loves the sound of tap. She does urban tap, which mixes tap and hip hop. She absolutely

Dr Kristen Williamson:

cool.

Amanda:

Meltdown or try not to meltdown. She will try to mask it at the sound of people clapping. She's screaming. It's evil across the room and she's had so many teachers who can't seem to understand,

Leta:

But I expect them to understand it if any few of them mocked me making sounds because I don't know why I was making them. They mocked me!

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Hmm.

Leta:

And one when I was six. But not the rest of them! Also, to my teachers, I'm like, It's as if you figure it was you unless you's a certain one. It was not you, I love you with all my heart. When you

Amanda:

um,

Leta:

child, Will also

Amanda:

but they would then come up to me and go, well. I just, I didn't know autism includes like making sounds or I didn't know autism includes she can handle tap. So why can't she handle applause? And it's like, I get that.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Yep.

Amanda:

And they were all very much, and a lot of them don't understand why she doesn't like them now

Leta:

was Because they would go bleh, and then they would go bleh! My face! I wasn't aggressive, they were aggressive! Seriously, why aren't they the ones being frightened to be put in jail?

Dr Kristen Williamson:

You know, I still don't like clapping. It hurts my ears.

Amanda:

Yeah, and the aggressive thing, uh, when she was 3, we knew try care wouldn't pay for something until we got the school system to say they couldn't do it. So, her developmental pediatrician and I had a plan to get the school system to say they wouldn't do it and went into the with the idea that we needed them to just say. Just the magic words just say, we're not doing it

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Yep.

Amanda:

a her poor preschool teacher. I, she was in Montessori Montessori is a totally different deal than the public school

Dr Kristen Williamson:

is. Yes, it is.

Amanda:

Um, and she had not been asked to come to an AP meeting, but I needed her there and she's like, well, this can go well, because I don't don't yell she was like, I, I've been never been asked to come to an meeting, but I work great with, you know, the public school. therapists that are coming in and I'm like, yeah, I just need you to do one thing. Please remember to keep your temper under control because they're going to say something about Lita. You're not going to like we get in there. She's a girl. She's having meltdowns. Her teacher is sitting there going, I desperately need help with this. And they're like, Oh, we have ways of dealing with aggressive kids.

Leta:

There was a boy literally throwing every single heavy concussion making thing in the universe to everyone. And yet, he's saying it cause aggressive? I

Amanda:

No, because he was a boy,

Leta:

his

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Because he's a boy. We are

Amanda:

a girl. So melting down.

Leta:

and physically harms you, that's he likes you. Yeah, that's definitely because he has a crush on you. Not because he's definitely and totally probably gonna be a few, sure, I mean again.

Amanda:

She has opinions,

Dr Kristen Williamson:

She's got good opinions. Strong opinions.

Amanda:

but like she at three, when we were not completely sure she had receptive, she remembers him saying that she was aggressive. Uh, her preschool teacher about like, had a heart attack. Cause she's like, no, she's not aggressive. She's just melting down. When I ask her things to like, let's go to the bathroom before we go outside for recess, she's melting down. And I'm like sitting there going. You don't understand. She's a girl. That means she's aggressive, And her poor Montessori teacher was like, no, that means she doesn't understand me. She's not trying sure how to get ahold of me. And I'm like, welcome to, and, and her and the neurologist and I are sitting back going, well, I don't know why we're here. And in the end, we did get the school system to say, because Lita did not have receptive or expressive, she did not qualify for speech and language pathology through the school.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

It's just having him work with ya. Just say, okay.

Amanda:

I'm like, I needed that. I'm like, can you please sign a piece of paper saying that? And they're like, why? Because I'm like, we're calling TRICARE as soon as we're done.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Yep. We had, we only got TRICARE 2 except testing once the school said, he's not autistic for us. He's passing all his classes.

Amanda:

She was 3 and her, we had the issue that the school system said, we will not give her speech and language pathology. And that's when we were like, hi, try care. We need to test her for autism. And her general, her pediatrician was like, I told you, that's why she already went and saw the developmental piece. I'm like, if you know how to play the system with try care.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Not every parent does, which is Why I try to come out and advocate and just go hard with like, fight for your kids, fight for, like, you know, your kids, you know, these behaviors, you know, the ins and outs way more than someone who sees you for 15 minutes.

Amanda:

Well, and I'd had 13 years, thankfully, of dealing with it before she came along. So it's like, yeah, I know where this is because I see so many parents. I'm like, if a commander had signed this paperwork 2 years ago, you would have already had the services, but your commander didn't know he needed to sign the paperwork.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Yep. And

Amanda:

Uh, my,

Dr Kristen Williamson:

more awareness is coming about. And that's, that's beautiful.

Amanda:

my husband, when we had to get her an EFMP, it took him 72 hours to get her an EFMP and people were like, what happened? And he's like, well, did you know, you can Google all this stuff

Dr Kristen Williamson:

See, I think that's genius.

Amanda:

and he was like, the last signature he needed was the head of the medical group. And she's like, you started this paperwork 72 hours ago. It usually takes 6 months to get to me. And he's like, well, Google told me exactly how to do it.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

See, that's great. I love it. Google. Like it's just, it's, it's using our resources that we have.

Amanda:

Yeah, but EFMP should be able to do this without you having to Google it.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Hey, if we're going to live our life on shoulds, then we are perpetually setting ourselves up for feeling like we suck.

Amanda:

I know, I just get annoyed at EFMP when I'm working with them on the professional side, going, did you guys know Google exists?

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Yeah.

Amanda:

Uh, his current commander didn't know. We moved out to Montgomery knowing we could not get services for her. And the Air Force was like, no, you can move out to Montgomery, Alabama 24 months. And I'm like, if your commander had signed one piece of paperwork, just one, we wouldn't be here. And I'm pretty sure her therapy clinic was not happy that we moved because they tried to charge us and we're tri prime and I'm like, uh,

Dr Kristen Williamson:

you're like, nay, nay, nay, nay, nay, nay, nay, nay, nay. I'm digging the mood lighting, by the way. It's nice

Amanda:

found out they were charging some E3 who had maxed out all of his credit cards.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Oh boy.

Amanda:

And he'd maxed out his parents and his in laws credit cards and I'm call it. Being his commander from my office going, hi, uh, you want to tell me why this is going down also because this isn't allowed to happen. I need you to get him financial counseling and his commander is like, why? And I'm like, cause we're getting all that money back with interest. And the way more money than I want a 21 year old to have without financial counseling,

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Smaaart.

Amanda:

because if, if, you know, how try prime works, which seems to be a problem for even people. EFMP and or in the medical, uh, Facilities. you are Tri Prime and you have gotten approved stuff and they come to you and they ask you for money, the U. S. government does not get happy with that. And if you pay them, we want it back with interest and with a few extra Shall we call them fees? I know Lita had, we went into the ER for her and they called me going, hey, you need to pay 10, 000 dollars. And I'm like, not only am I not paying that 10, 000 dollars, you just called me. I need you to send that to me via. Um, Mel, and they sent me the bill and I called over to our medical facility and went, hi, did you guys know this was going on? And they're like, who wants it? You are us and I'm like, you guys can have this. I have a full deal and they called over and they're like, not only are we not paying, she's not paying and you're doing the whole thing for free. So we don't know how you're paying your doctors because. We're not messing around.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

it's just more people need to know this, but you know, that's, that's, uh, we don't have enough time to go down that rabbit

Amanda:

Oh, yeah. No, they do. Um, it is amazing talking to you. I think we're going to need to have you back on if you're okay with it.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Absolutely.

Amanda:

Um,

Dr Kristen Williamson:

We'll have to have different head time.

Amanda:

Oh, yes. Though she might still have flowers in her hair. Who knows?

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I'm okay with that. They're so cool.

Amanda:

Oh, yeah. Um, where can people find you on the web?

Dr Kristen Williamson:

I have a Facebook page. It's called empower mind solutions, LLC. I have that. I have an Instagram. It's not as flashy as I would love it to be, but we're getting there. We're building it up. Social media is hard.

Amanda:

It is, um, and you have to know all of them now.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

You do and I don't. So we're working on it, but I would like to talk with y'all. I can bring in more cats.

Amanda:

Oh, yes, she will take the more cat. She keeps telling everyone bring your pets on just so I can love on them.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

Yep. That's the way to do it. guys so much for having me.

Amanda:

Thank you so much for coming on. Can you say thank you or are you worded out today?

Leta:

Angle.

Amanda:

Thanks so much for coming on, Kristen, and we can't wait to have you on again.

Dr Kristen Williamson:

and I will see y'all next time.

Amanda:

All right. Happy Valentine's Day.

Leta:

Hey well, thank you for watching the podcast and please subscribe and also look at that adorable pittie. Don't you want to subscribe for it and also please leave a like and don't forget if you subscribe to our stuff you won't miss any of our new podcast stuffies and also you can see that adorable pittie. Don't you like it?

People on this episode

Contributor

Amanda Trisdale

Host
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Leta Rundell

Host