Leta's Tap Styles

Beyond the Mask: Teaching Dance Authentically

• Leta and Amanda • Season 2

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In this engaging conversation, Amanda and Leta discuss the intersection of autism and the dance studio. They focus on the importance of true authenticity and the detrimental effects of masking. They explore the challenges faced by autistic dancers in traditional dance environments, the role of teachers in fostering inclusivity, modeling true authenticity to their students, and the impact of generational trauma on perceptions of both physical and “hidden” limitations. (Such as physical disabilities, dyslexia, autism, and other disabilities.)

Leta and Amanda emphasize the need for supportive spaces where everyone – dance teachers and dance students - can be their authentic self freely without the pressure to conform to societal expectations. They also discuss the need for dance teachers to practice what they preach, being their authentic selves in the classroom. They end talking about how dance teachers need to realize that the dance teachers were never broken or unworthy, that the dance teachers do not need to mask, and that the dance teachers should be their authentic self.

Links

Podcast Website

https://www.letatapstyles.com

Leta's Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/@letatapstyles

Autistic Wings Dance Company's Website (Where you can learn more about Leta's new nonprofit studio for dancers on the Spectrum and donate to help the studio expand.)

https://www.autisticwingsdancecompany.org

Interested in being a guest on Leta's Tap Styles? We use PodMatch. Click this link to "match" with us. https://www.podmatch.com/member/letastapstylesguest



Leta:

Hello, this is Leta, and this is me and my mommy's podcast. And there's my mommy, and there's me, and I'm just talking about this stuff. And there's me tap dancing, because this is a tap dancing slash autism podcast. And there's a bunch of animals, and a wallby trying to eat my hair. And there's a bunch of sand and ocean. Also, there's all the SoleTalk stuff. I love all my mentors and friends. All that going on, so old. Yeah, it's like life's coming to an end. Oh, and also, there's my boots. My boots are amazing. Also, there's me, trying not to have a panic attack. Also, this is a podcast about me. my autism, dancing, and blah, blah, blah. I'm just ADHD and this is it. Also, there's my cute, adorable puppies.

Amanda:

Would you like to introduce podcast?

Leta:

That's right, Mommy. I am Leta. This is my podcast. This is Leta's Top Styles. We talk about autism. We talk about dance. Mostly autism right now. But after we're done talking about all the autism stuff, we're going back to dance!

Amanda:

One of the reasons we're talking a lot about autism is you have founded a dance studio in Colorado Springs, Colorado. That's a nonprofit 501 C3 always asking for money. Um, That's for dancers. That's for dancers on the spectrum.

Leta:

Money.

Amanda:

And we do dance a little differently. Um, I wanted to talk about 1 thing because we have a no masking policy at our studio. Do we not

Leta:

We want you to live past 19! Yeah!

Amanda:

came asking? Doesn't take that much off your life, but it sure takes a lot, but,

Leta:

Evolution is a thing. Evolution is a thing.

Amanda:

um, for sure. Our studio, we have an anti masking policy. 1 of the reasons you have had problems at other studios is those anti masking policies, even in these inclusive environments don't exist. We discussed a little earlier a couple of weeks ago. What masking does to your dancers today? I wanted to talk about our anti masking policy includes our staff. Does it not lead up?

Leta:

Yeah.

Amanda:

When we are saying people need to be their authentic autistic self, we,

Leta:

of our staff and you're autistic, we will hit you in the back of the head. My mommy won't hit you in the back of the head, but I will hit you in the back of the head.

Amanda:

maybe not the violence.

Leta:

you mean, maybe not the violence? What are you, fake sentences?!

Amanda:

Okay, let's not be violent. Okay, back to the whole thing. But no, we have an anti masking policy. No one in our studio hopefully should be masking. Um, the adults definitely need to not mask if you're on staff or you're one of our volunteers. One of the reasons we have this is, like we said a couple weeks ago, masking is bad. Is it not, Leta?

Leta:

Masking takes years off of your life. I'm pretty sure it also helps make depression. Make you

Amanda:

there are some studies coming out saying it does help with depression. It does take years off the life. It can contribute to things like high blood pressure. It can contribute to strokes.

Leta:

die before it's way.

Amanda:

Um, I would like someone to check because, uh, on a few of the other things, hypertension, all that we know masking can do. Yeah. Um, I don't know why autistic and ADHD and other neuro. Non typical people die early. What about you, Leta? It

Leta:

That's a sick, sick joke.

Amanda:

was sarcastic. It

Leta:

That,

Amanda:

was very bad. I know. Anywhos, one of the things I wanted to talk about today on the non masking is one of the biggest issues you have had in some dance studios with teachers who are like, I understand her, I understand autism, who aren't willing to.

Leta:

You shush. Well, not you, but them. Also, stop giving me the same half ass speech about, Oh, I know you can, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard that like a million times since I was like, Brought into this world. If you're gonna give me an inspirational speech, come up with something original, people. Not something half assed that you got from Hollywood.

Amanda:

For some of our listeners, there are a bunch of dance teachers you have had who have told me that I am holding you back. Um, could they let me know how I'm holding you back? I am limiting you. I'm going to give you a limited world when you grow up. You're not, you're going to feel like you can't do a lot of stuff. And I would honestly like to know how I do that some days because

Leta:

wish you would hold me back some days because I don't know. I'm making a god freaking studio. I mean, some days I wish you would hold me back.

Amanda:

You'd wish I'd give you some of those limitations. No. And a lot of these people, when they're saying it, they're meaning it sweetly, but back to the whole masking thing. But this also, I think a lot of the teachers who have said things like, you're going to hold her back. You're limiting her. You're limiting her world by saying, hey, do not move your hip. If it is moving, if you're going to have issues, it's going to hurt. I think they, like many of our guests on our podcast, Have heard the same things you have heard in life.

Leta:

What does the hip have to do with anything about autism?

Amanda:

No, I think a lot of them are autistic. I think a lot of these teachers are masking their autism in class studios.

Leta:

What does the hip have to do with anything?

Amanda:

I think limiting. Okay, where does it have? I think they're thinking in their mind that if I limit you on the hip, and if I limit you with your dyslexia that I am proving what everyone always told them that they couldn't do that. They couldn't that they weren't good enough that they would never be able to do all the things that they then inevitably wind up telling you after a time. Right? Leta. But I think the masking hurts. That hurts their masking. I think hurts our students in ways. I don't think the dance teachers have thought through if that makes any sense at all. And if you feel I'm calling you out as a dance teacher today. Take a look in the mirror, take 22 deep breaths and repeat after me. I do not need to mask. I am perfect the way I am what everyone else told me I have to be is. Would you like to finish this one, Leta?

Leta:

Just fuck all of them. Also,

Amanda:

What the 13 year old said. Um,

Leta:

I will not give the same half assed speeches that they fucking gave me when I was a ever loving child. I

Amanda:

still a child.

Leta:

that. No, not me. Them.

Amanda:

Yes, but you're still a child. But no, I mean,

Leta:

No, I'm still a child.

Amanda:

if you think for one minute that I am talking about you, I need you to, did you say ignore the mirror or look in the mirror,

Leta:

Like, in the mirror. Preferably not in the eyeballs, because it's absolutely weird. It's like it has a soul of its own if you actually look in the eyeballs.

Amanda:

but I need you to do us a favor and we are going to get to the end of this on how much this is important to your dancers as much as it's to you. Or if you're a teacher, if you're any other youth leader, I need you to do this. I need you to look in the mirror. And go, I am perfect the way I am. I do not need to mask for any of the parents. If they have a problem with me, what should they say to those parents, Leta,

Leta:

Well, if it's a problem the way they're teaching that child, probably listen, but if it's a problem, I'll be autistic. There's a fucking door just fucking leaving. You don't fucking like me. Just say

Amanda:

what she said, uh, it's bleeped, but I'm pretty sure you guys can guess what she meant if they have a problem, especially autistic, neurotypical parents of autistic children are the worst about this. They have a problem with their kids, not masking. And they have a problem with you, not masking honestly, just

Leta:

bullcrap and go back to wherever you have a loving kid from because just let me help your child out because you're not fucking helping your child. You're just making your bullcrap their bullcrap and your bullcrap isn't even their bullcrap in the first place. I know curse words. I know curse words.

Amanda:

once more. With everyone telling me recently, again, that I am limiting my child. think some of the dance teachers who've gotten a hold of me across the country who are like, if you're telling Leta what she can and cannot do with that hip, and what she can and cannot do with her dyslexia,

Leta:

the hip and have to get hip surgery at 13.

Amanda:

ignoring that, the statement I keep being told is, I'm going to limit you, and you're not going to think the sky's the limit. And once more, The sky's the limit. I'm sorry, dance teachers who are the ones who are masking, who are the ones who are not acting themselves. The sky's the limit for you, just as much as the sky's the limit for Leta. And if she at 13 is co hosting a podcast and co hosting a podcast where we have some very good, big, um, and that, or let me restart there, where we have experts in the field coming on to be interviewed by a 13 year old.

Leta:

just wanna wuval their pets.

Amanda:

Yes, but I mean, if you can do this, I think the adults can do this

Leta:

Yes. They could also not get the same half assed speech that they literally got from the television when they were probably like 9.

Amanda:

the television with the parents and all the adults around them. But let's talk real quick. What a teacher masking means to a child like you lead up when you can you clock a teacher as being autistic

Leta:

Yep. Yep.

Amanda:

when the teacher is autistic. Can you clock whether or not they're masking when they are sitting there telling you. Things and they are masking. What do you think?

Leta:

Don't mess you. Don't mess you. If you don't mess, you're gonna make them uncomfortable. And if you make them uncomfortable, you're gonna release those scars. And if you release those scars, you're gonna give their bullshit.

Amanda:

So what do

Leta:

Also become their diary for them.

Amanda:

what do you tend to do if a teacher is masking if you've caught them as

Leta:

I'm a shadow now. Oh yes, I'm gonna be over here. In the dark, in the shadows, in my comfort zone. In the dark, with the shadows, with the cute little things.

Amanda:

next very important question. Um. Do you when a teacher who you've clocked as autistic or neurodiverse who you have clocked as masking tells you, you need to be yourself. What's your response to that?

Leta:

Let's see, you're masking, so Fuck that!

Amanda:

When a teacher tells you. That you have no limits.

Leta:

Hello, yes, I have a bad right hip. Also, I have dyslexia. Also! I have an audio processing disorder that will never, ever, ever, ever, never be fixed.

Amanda:

Okay, let's take 2 seconds on that though. But is any of that standing in? I mean, it's difficult to deal with. It's. A pain in the ass to deal with all this

Leta:

who I am!

Amanda:

but do you see them as just physical limitations or do you see them as, Oh, I'm limited in what I can do and I'm not going to go very far.

Leta:

I'm just existing. I'm still living. It's not the end of the world. I don't know why you fucking bullshit people think that. It's not the end of the world. BODY LITTLE MY I HAVE A BAD BACK TOO, YIN! Uh, like, ser seriously, why are you complaining about your bad back when I'm over here doing, like, something something hour of dance class while you're over there singing in an ever loving chair? Like, seriously, what do you think? You have a damn bad levitation? MY MOTHER HAS TO KEEP ME FROM THE EMERGENCY ROOM!

Amanda:

But do you, when they're saying, Oh, your mom is limiting you. Oh, there's limits on you. Do you feel there are limits? On you that they're trying to get rid of, or do you feel that they're generational trauma in their own traumas?

Leta:

Yeah, the second one? Uh, so what do you mean, feel? They're doing it. What do you mean by feel? What do you mean by It's not feel, if they're doing it, it's not feel, it's they're doing it. I do not, like, seriously, I went to speech, I went to speech therapy for nothing, and this is the way people can use this English! I went to speech therapy for nothing, people! Well that's it, that's it, why did I even go to Ever Lovin Speech Therapy if I'm about to use the English show Ever Lovin Wrong? Why don't we just go to Old English so I can be the co sounding one because I'm probably the only one gonna use it the right way good Ever Lovin Lord.

Amanda:

Verily, verily, child mine.

Leta:

They

Amanda:

That's pretty much, I agree with you. Uh, when I say child mine, that is much more older English than you, uh, know. Um, question. Cause, I mean, this is Dance studio related when a dance teacher inevitably is generational trauma What they think I am doing to you and holding you back and limiting you when it's like, there is this physical issue. We have done doctors. They have said there is this physical issue or there is this autistic issue. You need to work within these parameters and they are like, you can, and it's not one dance studio. It's been multiple dance studios. This has happened. Has it not?

Leta:

also give me the same half ass speech exactly to a T. They do the same ever loving, ever fucking speech exactly to a T. I don't know where all these people get the same speech from, but they use the same half ass, ever loving speech. And I don't know where they copy it from, because they do it exactly from each other. Except for one thing, time it! EVERYTHING EVEN THE SAME AT ELEVEN AND A HALF, AND THEN YOU CAN LOOK AT NIGHT! That's that

Amanda:

Thank you for not dropping your very expensive mic there. I really appreciate the no drop mic drop with the expensive mic. Thank you. Do not lick in your, but thank you for not, okay, so you're chewing the mic instead, but thank you for not dropping your multi hundred dollar like um, win dance teachers.'cause you're not in school. We had the prom in school. I pulled you and I'm like, we can homeschool you

Leta:

same half assed speech. Do a T.

Amanda:

Yes, but I've worked with so many people as an advocate. This is so, this is so I will feed you after sports. You do not have to eat your mic. There is food in the house. I know there's not a lot cause it was payday yesterday.

Leta:

chewing it. It's stimulating. I like chewing on it. It's stimulating.

Amanda:

Fine. You get to pay for the next one. Um, when adults, let's open this up to all adults, but specifically dance adults. And I've just made noise with my mic again, adults sit there and tell you They want to be an inclusive environment, but they are masking. What do you think of the inclusivity of the environment? Okay,

Leta:

And she does not like those congress people. She very much does not like those congress people. They also seem nice on screen, but behind the scenes they are jack fucking bullshit ASSES.

Amanda:

we're getting that out because in today's political advice, I am not dealing with that one. So Leta, starting again, when the dance studios are all, we are inclusive and Bringing politics into this. When the dance studios are like, we are inclusive and you walk in and you see a dance teacher masking, do you feel the dance studio is inclusive?

Leta:

You know,

Amanda:

When they say inclusivity and you,

Leta:

lads.

Amanda:

and you see the adults are not comfortable enough. Unmasking. Do you feel like you must mask?

Leta:

Yeah.

Amanda:

Do you feel that this is required to, I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, but do you feel that this is something that helps because you're normally masking because you're overwhelmed. I mean, that is like the number one reason for anyone masking other than to try and hide it. I mean, women try that, but. And a dance studio. It's usually you are overwhelmed. So, um, if you the adult is overwhelmed in the dance studio and you're asking, I'm just saying, uh, you're not going to are you going to not mask if you're over? Are you going to mask specifically? So you are 1 less thing overwhelming that teacher.

Leta:

Yeah.

Amanda:

Why would you mask in a situation where the teacher is overwhelmed,

Leta:

Oh, it just happens.

Amanda:

do you think? Part of it is teacher does. I do. This is definitely not a do as I say, not as I do situation for most kids now, is it?

Leta:

Yeah.

Amanda:

I mean, we're laughing and I know there are probably people out there going, this is not a laughing matter. When this is your lived life experience, you've got to laugh at some of this stuff because the number of adults who've come up to me and gone, Leta shouldn't mask. And I'm like, why is Leta doing XYZ? And I'm like, because once you start masking, let's be honest, the moment you start masking is the moment. I am making plans to pull you out of any dance studio. You've ever been at because I know when you blow, you're going to blow and you are going to blow. So hard that, cause you mask really good. People think you are a sweet, innocent little angel. When you mask, they also think you're stupid, but that's a different subject.

Leta:

Wait, is that why everybody keeps saying, Aw, she's so sweet.

Amanda:

Yeah. That is

Leta:

then I'm like, Sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet. I am violent as ever. Love it. Satan, what do you mean by sweet? I would handsh

Amanda:

stop. Stop. Yeah. I mean, Maybe not good.

Leta:

say I would handshake an orca and not die because I would probably wear the respect of an orca. SOSU,

Amanda:

not the dumbest, but let's not go shake fin orca fins because last I checked they are still going after yachts in the Mediterranean for funsy!

Leta:

that's you. Babies for funsies.

Amanda:

I know, I mean these things wear

Leta:

dead

Amanda:

murdered animals as hats, and I know humans do too, but you know orcas scare me. Um,

Leta:

They eat humans. They eat humans. And yet

Amanda:

is like

Leta:

funny documentary that I was watching where the scientists saying orcas were their favorite thing to say. And so I guess we'll go eat. Oh, these are sweet. Angels, you would never heard a fly. Well, we're stupidly going into a raft that is made of air where they can kill us and we're stupidly going there to ORK!

Amanda:

Okay, bunny trail completed. You've completed a quest on the Oregon Trail. Uh, for everyone who doesn't know, you got a Switch for Christmas, and we got Oregon Trail, and we've been playing it all week, so now I'm all in Oregon Trail mode. Go ahead, say, I've been trainsing on the Oregon Trail.

Leta:

Oh, I'm gonna say, I I I think you were mad when you couldn't train us on the Orkin Trap.

Amanda:

So, when the dance teachers, and I'm trying not to put words in your mouth, so I'm going to ask a weird open ended question here when the dance teachers are saying, this is an inclusive environment. I need you to be yourself. I need you to do X, Y, Z, and then pretty much making it clear that for their sanity, you need to mask or at least their generational trauma. You need to mask. Um, do you feel that you. Can respect that teacher or do you lose some respect for that teacher?

Leta:

Um, I, I just questioned why I called them miss. Cause you're supposed to call people miss if you respect them. And I'm like over here like, My mom says I have to call you miss, so I'm calling you miss. And my mommy says I have to call you miss. But my father does not like you.

Amanda:

Your father is not very pro deal. I mean, he sits there and he's like, I'm not asking you're an idiot. I don't have time for idiots, but he's in the military. He doesn't have to have time for idiots. You do. Um, cause you're 13, you have to deal with idiots.

Leta:

I didn't turn off my mic, I get the point.

Amanda:

You said it into my head. Pretty sure. Um,

Leta:

That's a plus. Oh, plus it's funny how all them also say, Oh, I care about your physical problems. Don't let me just make you laugh like hell because I'm talking about how my body is in pain 24 7 even when I sleep.

Amanda:

I do not think Most dance teachers are studio autistic wings. We have hired staff. Well, we have not hired staff yet. We have volunteer staff. Thanks to all of our great volunteers who are understanding who I can pull aside and go nicely.

Leta:

Squirrel.

Amanda:

Okay. There's no puppies. Don't search. They're all upstairs to have big with it, but I've called down our volunteers and nicely said. Um, because I'll notice a kid and I've called parents out on it. I will be the first to admit a kid has done something. A parent will yell at them. Kid will start masking and I'll call a parent on it because we have the no masking policy.

Leta:

that what you Doing in the in the whisper corner.

Amanda:

A lot of the whisper corner.

Leta:

do in the whisper corner? Because you made a whisper corner and I have been suspicious because you made a whisper M11 corner without me. You have been doing T without me. You have a whisper T corner without Help me, human, I'm a human being, Minecraft, and let's cross this. Do you think I have the advantage that you made a T whisper corner without me?

Amanda:

So, um, for our audience. Right now, we are renting a single studio space that doesn't have a lobby for the parents. A lot of our parents are not as far along in their autism journey as we are and they have lots of questions because they're new and they're still listening and they are themselves not part of the community and there's a lot. A freaking lot of judgment that comes in from outside the community. Saying things like, well, you know,

Leta:

This person made a whisper T corner without me.

Amanda:

someone has to get it's a whisper tea corner of wisdom. Okay.

Leta:

Yeah, without me. Oh,

Amanda:

you're busy Working with the babies,

Leta:

yeah, they are singing cute.

Amanda:

but I'll call I will call out a parent and tell them what's going on I don't feel comfortable calling out your dance teachers. I really don't outside of autistic wings every other dance studio I've been very quickly informed whether they meant to or not that parents are not To talk about dance class is not my responsibility to tell them what to do in class. So I'll see them going down the path. They're going down and I'm sitting there going well, she's masking. That's not a good sign. And I see you masking and that's not a good sign. And when this blows, this is going to blow and you're going to be sitting there going, but I thought Leta liked me

Leta:

Okay, give me one a blow

Amanda:

off camera so that we don't get in trouble because I can tell you we started an entire dance studio because you got upset at the very end of 1

Leta:

No, I meant speaky speaky talky talky wise

Amanda:

I think it's very clear and the way you act when you're done with a studio and you're done with their. Um,

Leta:

bad at the end of my last studio. That's all I'm ash Why

Amanda:

if the dance teachers don't notice, and a few of them haven't noticed until later and then they're like, oh. She was mad when she left, huh?

Leta:

did you whisper cough ash?

Amanda:

That wasn't ash that I whisper cuffed. Don't worry. That's why I whisper cuffed it so I have another question on the masking and the pretending not to be autistic because I Absolutely have clocked multiple of your teachers who I guarantee are autistic Who do not know how to work with autistic kids because they're treating you just the way every adult treated them in life Generational trauma. It does not have to go through families,

Leta:

It really does not this is America America. America.

Amanda:

but a lot of them are like, well, I understand autism. No, what you have never had told to you, and you need told to you, because it would fix a lot of things in the dance world, I think, is every single adult, whoever told you, If they ever told you the stupid shit. Sorry. Okay, fine. I'll cuss. If they ever told you the stupid shit of you are going to wind up in prison or dead. If they ever told you that your dyslexia means you will never be worth anything. Anything. If any adult dance teachers, I'm talking to you, if any adult ever told you you were not worth their time, you were not worth their effort to teach and you struggled through that.

Leta:

Hello, yes, go to the mirror, say, I am fine. I am good. Every star in the whole entire world probably, uh, does not have such thing as self love, and if I don't have self love, it means I am good. Unfortunately, I'm very, very, very fortunately, and I shall, uh, hate myself so much that I get depression. I shall get depression. Get them out of my head the best I can, so I do not have depression, and die before I'm 60.

Amanda:

any one of you who has heard the, you need to act a certain way in dance class because I, your teacher cannot handle you acting any other way. They were liars. Or stupid idiots. Pick one. Maybe both.

Leta:

Well that, or you could just go to the store if you don't have a Squishmallow. Come back home, I'll go to Squishmallow and then make the Squishmallow your talky talky diarrhea.

Amanda:

The adult who told you. Because yes. This is one of those episodes, probably should go back and put a trigger warning at the beginning of this. It does not mean you need to mask. It does not mean you are worthless. It does not mean you need to generational trauma for the next generation, the next generation, the next generation. The cycle's got to end. And it cannot be only a bunch of kids trying to end it. It can't be a 13 year old doing it, which I mean, I love you, Leta. I absolutely adore you. The fact that,

Leta:

I don't want to do this. Do you think I want to do this? I have to do this. I don't want to do this. I just want to be in the beloved IL Dead Studio. Why?

Amanda:

but it doesn't exist. So you have to go out as a 13 year old, you have to go. Because you're not just founder in name only, you're out there doing the fundraising, you're out there doing the videos over on Instagram, trying to get some stuff to go viral so that we can get more interest in the studio. You're in every single class we have, you're out there working with the kids, you are dealing, you know, making sure you are mentor, you are hero, you are 13,

Leta:

What did my mentor do?

Amanda:

all the babies in the studio, everyone younger than you, you are their mentor.

Leta:

How am I the mentor? I just play with them. Play with them. I just play with them.

Amanda:

Fine. You are the person they look up to.

Leta:

Yes.

Amanda:

Because you know

Leta:

Eh. Eh. Eh. Eh. Eh. Eh. Yeah. Yeah.

Amanda:

What are you

Leta:

like the

Amanda:

But you know what your place is. Your place is to be that one that gives You are the one who has to do that. Do you want to do it? No. Do you like the spotlight? No. You prefer the back of the room, mainly because every single dance teacher who ever massed showed you the back of the room was the best place to be.

Leta:

corners. Corners are safe space. Space Save is fun. I like corners. Corners are safe space. Safe, space, safe. And the alternate is where you can get killed by a line! Well, if,

Amanda:

you like to explain the kilt by the line thing? Because last I checked, there were not a lot of lines in studio.

Leta:

if, well, if you're in Africa and, and you're out in the open and not hiding in the safeness of the darkness and the beauty and the magnificence of the darkness, you're gonna die by a lion.

Amanda:

Okay, yes, but we are talking dance studios, and what are you going to have a problem with in dance studios if you are not, you know, like, out in the open, if you're not front and center when a dance teacher is teaching class, why is the corner the safe space?

Leta:

They can't grab me in the corner.

Amanda:

Okay, they can't grab you. They also can't

Leta:

easier to dodge. Get your head in the corner and then I can escape and run and go to my mama.

Amanda:

You know, most dance classes are not supposed to be you wanting to escape and run at the end of the dance class.

Leta:

Well, if I'm in the corner and they try to talk to me, I can very much easily dodge them, get my bag, get my shoes off real quick, and then come to you. What do

Amanda:

Yeah, but most kids are not trying to dodge. They're adorable. Dance teacher. So why are you trying to?

Leta:

adorable? They're like friggin adults.

Amanda:

I meant that as a filler word. Most kit dancers are not trying to dodge their dance teachers. Why are you trying to dodge your dance teachers after class and before class?

Leta:

They cannot try to give me the same half assed speeches they give me like every single, every freaking class. Also, they can't make me do free labor. Also, they can't try to put my hip back into joint because everyone fucking know you're not a loving dog and do not touch my hip. Also, your hand is way too close to my ass. Thank you very much, I don't care if you're A female. Female?

Amanda:

Okay, let's just real quick because I want to wrap this up here, but I want to go back to that. I can fix it. I can fix you. I can make it work. You know, everyone, single one of them got that by their dance teachers. That, oh, but I know more than your doctors do. I know what's going to work for you. You can go up on point at 7. You can go up on point at 8. It's not going to hurt you. You can do this stuff that, you know, the medical community, because I get, and I mean, we're getting better, but they suffer through the pain because this is going to make it better.

Leta:

mean gain better? Do you not see how far

Amanda:

not putting kids up

Leta:

backwards humanity is going?

Amanda:

we're not putting kids up on point at 6, 7, 8 anymore. We are putting them on point at a lot of studios while they're still sickling their foot. So there's that now. But um, at least age wise there though, right? Age now, mainly, possibly. Who knows? Any who's

Leta:

My hip, I don't give you the same gen or as me my hip. Just now I

Amanda:

but that's another,

Leta:

flex and punch.

Amanda:

but when dance teachers say, I understand autism,

Leta:

Hey, Dylan. Mmm,

Amanda:

they do hold on. I think some of these dance teachers are autistic themselves. They understand autism, but they don't come up to you and go. Hey, Leta. What are your accommodations you need in this class? Do you feel like they're treating you as a human being?

Leta:

mama.

Amanda:

What does it make you feel when a dance teacher who's like, I understand, who may or may not be autistic themselves, decides they know what you need for your autism? Or your hip, or your dyslexia, better than you do.

Leta:

Yeah, okay, I'm gonna be put in my own cage. I'm also gonna be having to slap a hand that's near my hip that's way too near my ass. I don't care that you're the same gender as me. Fuck it! Still fucking creepy. I don't care if it's, you want to fix my hip. My hip is near my ass. My ass is a no no zone. very much. Also, I'm gonna run away now. Also, if I slap that head, it is your fault because I said no no, that's a no no zone. I said that's a no no zone. Near another

Amanda:

But when they don't come up to you at the beginning, when they make that plan without you or me coming, without coming to you or me and going, What does she need? What accommodations do you need, Leta, for your autism? Leta, how does your dyslexia affect you in dance

Leta:

nonosaur. I can't write, oh, oh, oh, I can't write, oh, doh, doh, doh, doh, doh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I can't write or

Amanda:

What about

Leta:

texts, oh, whoa, whoa,

Amanda:

I got a question for ya. Real quick on this one because we've already covered it and I think we need to get someone on to cover it in depth or to study it for me. Learning to pirouette, learning to do jumps involves eye tracking. Leta, what does your,

Leta:

dizzy. I'm checking it dizzy, oh, I'm checking it dizzy, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm checking it dizzy and feel like fainting and throwing up, yeah. Cause

Amanda:

feel like that? Because you can turn very amazingly when you turn. You've taught yourself to turn without tracking the way they've all taught you to track, haven't you?

Leta:

I don't wanna be dizzy, yeah. Oh, so I don't like fila band, also played at the same time.

Amanda:

end on this, um, you're limiting her. It's not limiting, it's telling you here's her limit, here's what she has wrong, but that doesn't limit you. And I think that's what the dance teachers need to look in the mirror and tell themselves. Your autism, your ADHD, whatever it is that they all gave you crap for as a child, isn't limiting you. Never did. What limited you was all those adults doing that whole ee wee wee wee wee wee wee. Did I sound like Charlie Brown there?

Leta:

You sounded like one of the off screen children.

Amanda:

I was trying to be an adult, but hey, um, it's the adult.

Leta:

think the adults sound more like WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP I

Amanda:

that's what you should probably replace. All that crap the adults told you. Not you. This is going to the dance teachers, right, Leta? So that you're not creating the next generation of trauma. Cause I'm, I still think, the saddest thing about this is I think everyone who has cut you, every, this is metaphorically, they have not physically cut you. Everyone who has left wounds, cause they're not scars, they are open wounds. I honest to God do not believe they knew they were doing it. Go ahead and disagree with me.

Leta:

was just gonna say actually One of my last dance teachers actually did, did come in with her fingernails multiple times and didn't apologize.

Amanda:

Okay. But I mean the wounds weren't, I mean the wounds, the spiritual wounds here, Leta.

Leta:

Ow, ow. Yeah, I don't think that's how I ever sign up.

Amanda:

I don't think that you dance teachers, cause you know who you are and it's not just the ones that have worked with Leta. It's across the country. Every single one of those wounds, they haven't healed yet, have they? They're not gushing most of the time, but they're there. They don't heal. They haven't for me in 43 years. You, how do I put this nicely? You need to realize, and it's easier said than done, is it not, Leta? You're shrugging your shoulders. Every one of those adults. It's not like, Oh, they were jealous. Cause this isn't that that thing they always say is, Oh, they were jelly. That adult was jelly of you. That's why they said

Leta:

that's, uh, yeah, no, no. No, that, no,

Amanda:

The bully was jelly of you. That's why they said it.

Leta:

it, oh, like, fuck, what next, we gonna say, oh, they just start, oh, they just start a war because they was jelly, because that's literally what you have to say, you have a lot of fuck people.

Amanda:

Actually, there have been a few wars started cause Royals were jealous of other Royals, but let's not go down that.

Leta:

I mean, never mind, this is not royalty, this is six foot long royalty, only royalty has words because of jealousy.

Amanda:

you're masking. Cause you think you need to. We've already told you a couple of weeks ago, what masking has done. Our last episode on Friday, Dr. Kristen Williamson did a little bit about masking. We mean, and the damages it does and the societal expectation on women to mask and you're sitting there. Thinking, but I know autism, and you know, one, you do know you're autism. I won't say you don't know you're autism. What about you, Leta? But what you don't know, when someone failed dramatically, I'm in the middle of trying to do a very important thing here, and you're over there. Okay, can I finish my failed dramatically statement? Someone failed dramatically to, it is hard to do a dramatic statement when you're over there. It's hard to do Shakespeare dramatic when you're over there chewing on your microphone and making me laugh. What? Y'all need to know and Leta agrees with me on this one, right? The bullies weren't jelly. That wasn't it. The teachers were just Either jerks or they too were just generational trauma. Seems like fun, right? Leta. She's nodding her head. Yes. Don't believe what they said. You want to add anything there, Leta? Do you think the teacher should believe because I guarantee I've talked to other teachers in the country who have said they've heard the same things you've heard and they say the same things to their students and they tell their themselves they're an inclusive environment, but they do. I had one teacher this week. I'm like, you are expecting your students to mask. You are masking. They're masking. There is no other thing than if a teacher is masking, you're going to mask is there.

Leta:

Yes. Oh, so. I forgot what I was gonna say. I forgot what I was going to say. I

Amanda:

Okay. Well, um,

Leta:

what I was going to say. Yeah, I

Amanda:

what would you tell to all these teachers that they never obviously got as a child

Leta:

Hello, yes. You are good the way you are. Also, if you don't see, if you do not change the way you are, whatever the weird, something, something, girl mirror Mary thing is, do it! And just freeze that! Ghosts can't ever live in honor. Realize you are good in life the way you are because if the ghost can't be in the mirror you'll get be autistic. Because if there is a ghost in mirror that is able to come to anybody's ever loving house through a mirror, I'm just saying that ghosts cannot be ever loving, they're atypical because they're atypical. Ghosts cannot think about things going through everybody's house through a mirror. I

Amanda:

and is masking being yourself, but

Leta:

mean, it does a great clicker, yeah.

Amanda:

is it who you truly are is masking. Being who you truly are or is masking being what society tells you to be.

Leta:

The second thing. And I will not allow society to tell me not to chew on my own finger because, so help me, I will chew on my own finger. And I don't give a damn if you think I shouldn't chew on my own finger because I will just chew on my own finger. No, I'm not gonna do it while I'm dancing. What do you think, I'm a little fuckin idiot? I am just gonna chew my finger if I'm just standing there. I will just chew my finger, so help me. It is not wrong if a dog can chew there. Or without any

Amanda:

We need to do an entire,

Leta:

my finger.

Amanda:

we need to do an episode on dance, teachers and stemming.

Leta:

If a dog can chew on their own butt, I CAN CHEW ON MY FINGERS, SO HELP ME, I'M NOT BITING MY FINGER, THERE IS NO BLOOD, ARE YOU EVER LOVING INSANE? Oh yeah,

Amanda:

I mean, they listened to the meanies. When they were growing up.

Leta:

we should probably end this. Good night, goodbye, this is the Stephen Colbert Show now! We are not on live television, but we need our own night show, our morning show, our lunchtime show, Stephen Colbert Show! This is our version of the Stephen Colbert show now. Good night. Th

Amanda:

Exactly zero more hours in the day. So I'm sorry. Yeah, you are getting limit. I did. I am holding you back. I am not doing a live show or a daily show. Tell me when the heck I have time in our schedule to edit or do anything like that. If people want to see a daily show of you, they're going to have to cough up money and cough up a lot of stuff so we can afford to have editors and other things. Uh, Friday. We have Mr. Marcus is coming on. He is a communications expert. Uh, we went a little over one hour. So I'm apologizing

Leta:

this is what you limits me on? NOT THE STUDIO! BOTH STUDIO! BOTH STUDIO! BOTH SHOW! Also, if people do care for money for us to have our own night show, I am not using that to have our own night show. I am using that to be great grandma whatever the heck she wants because a woman want woman.

Amanda:

Can't argue with that. Um, seriously can't argue with that one at all. The, uh, great grandma. I mean, I ain't my grandma. Uh, just deserve whatever the heck she wants. Um, so Mario is on the show on Friday. I highly suggest you turn in. It's an amazing episode about communication about some other stuff. You did stem the whole way through doing art projects. So if you ever wanted to see any of the lead is art projects, they are on the show on Friday because Mr Mario had to bring them down. Um, if you have not listened to the last couple of weeks of friends Fridays, you really need to go back and check them out. We had some amazing guests on from. Um, Good friend of the show, um, Michelle came on to talk about our program thrive and wisdom for complex kids. We had Dr. Bibi piryesh came on to discuss the social justice issues with, uh, autism and with a special needs in general, which is kind of currently a very important topic. Last week, we had Dr Kristen Williamson, and we've got, you know, Mr Mario, we got Mr Michael coming up. And a couple of weeks, I mean, we just have amazing guests on Friday. You should go listen to them. If you haven't checked them out or go check it out on YouTube, especially last week's episode, because that was you and Dr. Kristen, we filmed it at Valentine's day. You've got flowers in your hair. Dr. Kristen has Valentine's day thingy on her head. It's amazing to quote Daniel tiger to in the show or to quote Mr. Rogers, whichever generation you are from,

Leta:

Tag her. Tag her. Tag

Amanda:

know exactly what I'm saying. You are special and you need to remember that you are special and you're perfect just the way you are. See everyone on Friday.

Leta:

Hey well, thank you for watching the podcast and please subscribe and also look at that adorable pittie. Don't you want to subscribe for it and also please leave a like and don't forget if you subscribe to our stuff you won't miss any of our new podcast stuffies and also you can see that adorable pittie. Don't you like it?

People on this episode

Contributor

Amanda Trisdale

Host
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Leta Rundell

Host