Leta's Tap Styles

The Autistic Dancer: Understanding, Acceptance, and Awareness

• Leta and Amanda • Season 2

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In this episode of 'Leta's Tap Styles', Leta and Amanda delve into their personal experiences with autism, focusing on how it defines their identity. They discuss how well-meaning people will often ignore that someone is autistic, using the phrase “I don’t see autism.” They discuss the misconceptions surrounding acceptance (especially when it comes to claiming acceptance is ignoring autism and the limitations autistic people face), the importance of true acknowledgment, and the necessity of accommodations. Highlighting their dance studio experiences, they recount the challenges of masking, the misunderstandings by teachers, and the emotional toll of hyper fixation. The episode features a lively and insightful conversation, interspersed with humor and honest reflections on navigating the world as neurodivergent individuals. Additionally, they share exciting updates about upcoming guest appearances and call for more awareness and genuine acceptance within the autism community.


Catch Amanda and Leta on Life Stories Podcast with Shara Goswick this Thursday, April 10, 2025. Check her podcast out at https://lifestoriespodcast.com/


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The Podcast's Website: https://www.letatapstyles.com

The Podcast's TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@letatapstylespodcast

The Podcast's Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562557047377

The Podcast/Leta's YouTube Channel http://www.youtube.com/@letatapstyles

Leta's Instagram Account https://www.instagram.com/@letatapstyles

Autistic Wings Dance Company https://www.autisticwingsdancecompany.org

My autism, it defines who we are. It makes us who we are. Only if I could have a vacation from all human beings except my parents and the cute kids I work with, yes, I am still killed. Then the one boy is the cute kid because I don't care what that boy, he probably could be mad at me if he ever sees us in the future. But no, I mean, the thing is, is that this is what. Acceptance has become is that people are saying, I accept you as autistic, but I'm not going to acknowledge your autism, which. Does not make compute. It doesn't, it does not compute like you've said. Oh, do you mean like how it doesn't compute in my brain how a people, some people I know keep saying, oh, I don't see your hair, because it's not visibly there. So it's not real. And be me, still be mad. That's where the awareness of what autism is has to come in. It needs to be more than, oh look, there is this terrible thing out there.'cause I don't think my autism is terrible. You don't think your autism is terrible?

Leta:

This is Leta and this is me and my mommy's my mommy, and there's me and I'm just talking about this stuff. And there's me tap dancing because this is the tap Dancing Autism podcast and there's bunch animals and I'll be trying to in my hair and this bunch saying, and. Dancing. Oh, also, they're my boots. My boots are amazing. Also, dance, me trying not to have a panic attack. Also, this is a podcast that we autism and kept dancing and blah, blah, blah. I'm A DHD. This thing also. This your adorable puppy.

Amanda:

Hey, Leta, welcome to this week's tap, uh, Leta's Tap Styles.

Leta:

this. I am needed as my mom. If you say anything bad about my mother, I will murder your career.

Amanda:

Okay. I was like, let's try this without the murder. Um, thank you for agreeing to redo everything. I was editing today's episode and did not like it. So we're starting from the beginning. It like seven o'clock in the morning. We on Tuesdays tend to talk about dance, the dance studio life and autism or just dance in general. I posted a video of you yesterday over on TikTok and on our YouTube channel, um, on TikTok. It's doing really great. It was you just tap dancing acapella with things teachers have said about your tap dancing. And it has been getting nice comments on

Leta:

I don't believe you.

Amanda:

but one of the things people have said is, and we're gonna start with what the adults have said.'cause you've heard it. I've heard it. Both of us have heard it directed at us. I don't see your autism.

Leta:

Oh, I'm, I'm sorry. I didn't, I didn't, last time I checked the hospital. Didn't say my time of date of death. So, um, yeah, I'm alive. Wait a minute.

Amanda:

was not how you.

Leta:

Okay. Out. Out. Out. Yep. Alive. Alive. Alive. Yep. Definitely alive. That was painful. Alive.

Amanda:

You didn't put it that way. You put it that, um, your autism is kind of your soul is what you said,

Leta:

Yeah. But if I put it that way on, are they sure that. To some, uh, tiny children. Tiny, tiny children. Tiny, tiny children.

Amanda:

That is what people are catching is your autism. My autism. It's us. It's not like you can't, when people are saying they don't see your autism,

Leta:

I'm sorry I don't have a soul now. I'm sorry. I'm robot now. It was robot Now.

Amanda:

that's what I'm getting at.

Leta:

do I have that will come outta my hands. Please. Please say yes. Please say

Amanda:

No, you do not,

Leta:

but.

Amanda:

but that's what I'm. That's what, that's what I am trying to say is a lot of these dance teachers and other people who are doing it, they are saying, I don't see your autism. I don't see your differences. I don't need to know about your autism because I'm not going to treat you any differently. My autism, it defines who we are. It makes us who we are. Only if I could have a vacation from all human beings except my parents and the cute kids I work with, yes, I am still killed. Then the one boy is the cute kid because I don't care what that boy, he probably could be mad at me if he ever sees us in the future. But no, I mean, the thing is, is that this is what. Acceptance has become is that people are saying, I accept you as autistic, but I'm not going to acknowledge your autism, which. Does not make compute. It doesn't, it does not compute like you've said. Oh, do you mean like how it doesn't compute in my brain how a people, some people I know keep saying, oh, I don't see your hair, because it's not visibly there. So it's not real. And be me, still be mad. That's where the awareness of what autism is has to come in. It needs to be more than, oh look, there is this terrible thing out there.'cause I don't think my autism is terrible. You don't think your autism is terrible? I am not going to treat you like you have limitations. I am not going to treat you like your autism makes you different.

Leta:

I'm gonna just say one thing that's probably. Gonna be nerdy. Okay. So I remember before I decided miraculously, but was my, was my time in Covid watching the New York movie and then them introducing the robot, I said. Autism. A robot definitely has autism. Yeah. Those words make me as bad as me. See the robot that definitely has autism and dyslexia. Yeah, the robot definitely has autism and dyslexia. Yeah, robot definitely has those things. The robot, you know, thing you can reprogram to. I.

Amanda:

Okay, so, um,

Leta:

It makes me as mad as that.

Amanda:

just a little mad there. Um, but every dance teacher you have ever had who has said this to you, cannot understand why you don't see that as them showing you that they love you. That them saying, I don't see your autism is them saying how you don't need to be defined by your autism, but they're not. And I think this is where this month is Autism awareness. Autism acceptance month. And I know a lot of the younger kids want just that acceptance. And I think we need that awareness too, because people are seeing acceptance as. I don't see your autism. I won't let you be defined by your autism, but your autism. My autism, it defines who we are. It makes us who we are.

Leta:

Ah. Only if I could have a vacation from all human beings except my parents and the cute kids I work with. Yes, I am still killed. Then the one boy is a cute kid because I don't care what that boy thinks. He probably because be mad at me if he ever sees this in the future.

Amanda:

I mean, the thing is, is that this is what. Acceptance has become, is that people are saying, I accept you as autistic, but I'm not going to acknowledge your autism, which does not make compute. It doesn't, it does not compute like you've said.

Leta:

Do you mean like how it doesn't compute in my brain how a people, some people I know keep saying, oh, I don't see your hair because. Uh, visibly there so it's not real and be me still be mad.

Amanda:

That's where the. That's where the awareness of what autism is has to come in. It needs to be more than, oh look, there is this terrible thing out there.'cause I don't think my autism is terrible. You don't think your autism is terrible. I've yet to meet someone who grew up with understanding people around them who have hated their autism. But when adults are sitting there telling you, I don't see your autism, what does it make you think?

Leta:

Okay, if I am not a robot. Then I am gonna be mad. If I'm not a robot, I'm gonna be mad because if I'm not a robot, I could be able to shoot lasers for freaking good Lord Well's nothing. Control your phone. Then it's uh, the late stupid stuff

Amanda:

See, I had the different deal where my thing was, okay, so this is something I need to hide. This is a problem. This is a part of me that is broken. This is a part of me that is. Terrible. This is a part of me that makes me unlovable. Unlikable. This is a part of me that must be hidden. And the older I'm getting, the more, not only am I realizing that was a stupid idea, therapist, uh, 'cause the eighties and nineties had bad therapy, but

Leta:

this now? Yeah.

Amanda:

yeah. Uh, it. Trauma from all that, but it also makes me think everyone who was like, I want to keep those labels off you. I want to keep you labeled

Leta:

You

Amanda:

I want to, I feel like they don't love me. I mean, they don't want to.

' Leta:

cause they're drag houses and a-holes.

Amanda:

I mean, that's the thing is if you don't want this label, if you're like, I don't wanna label you, I don't wanna see your differences, then how can you Then there is something inherently you think inherently wrong with me. You think there is something inherently bad with who I am. You think I am need to cut out a part of what makes me me, which is pretty much my brain, it turns out.

Leta:

I have one thing.

Amanda:

Yeah.

Leta:

When the girl says was a dog that actively has wheels to help with his back legs and say, oh, I don't see your dog's, active wheels for the black legs, because he can't use those back legs because those back legs are useless.

Amanda:

I actually do think some of these people would, um, I think one of the problems we've had,

Leta:

Monsters. What next guy that tries to take those wheels from dog,

Amanda:

I am not saying our community is wrong on the acceptance, we need acceptance. I think the problem is acceptance has become in the wider community of,

Leta:

the woke gen, Sears, you know, the people who say, oh, hey, I'm woke. I.

Amanda:

well, no, I. The, uh, seasonal allergies have hit? No. I mean, you are right on that. I think we've, within the autism world, when we're saying acceptance, we're saying We need you to give us these accommodations. We need these accommodations to be something that are just automatically given, like. At our studio where we are automatically, everyone sees the autism at autistic wings. And that in and of itself is an accommodation that I don't think people understand in dance studios that we're saying, we see this autism, we need to accommodate this autism and we need to make sure we work with your autism. Um, which is mind-boggling that that has to be a form of acceptance.

Leta:

Yes,

Amanda:

I think what. A lot of the younger kids, like in between you and me, the Gen Zers aren't getting with this acceptance is I think within the wider community, the typical community, the typically abled community, they're seeing acceptance as I will not treat you differently, whereby not treating you differently. They're actually othering you in ways they don't know. By not treating you differently, by not

Leta:

Madonna. Boom. Worse

Amanda:

I know, but by not giving you the accommodations you need by going, I don't want you to have limitations. But it is because by not acknowledging your limitations, by not acknowledging your autism, they're just for a good chunk of kids who have neurotypical parents, all they're doing is teaching these kids to hate their limitations. And it, it gets rather frustrating when you have these limitations and you are constantly told, well, just don't have the limitations.

Leta:

So I love that wooly mammoth, scientifical mouse.

Amanda:

Yeah, but like I'll do one that I still have to this day. I, you know, have problems reading aloud because I have, what is my computer doing? I have stuttering issues and I have some issues with, um, I. Dyslexia and I still have enunciation issues. So when I read larger words out loud, especially if they're not in the English language and my brain just wants to read it as English and I'm not enunciating right, and people get onto me 'cause I'm 43, I should be able to enunciate, right? And my deal is I then retreat into my Louisville shell, which is not what you do. And I am so proud of you for your response is usually f you. But it makes me at 43 still very self-conscious that I have something wrong with me, which it's not something wrong with me. This is how I was born. It's not that these labels are bad, it's that these labels make us who we are.

Leta:

I mean, they're not really labels. They're really just the truth. They're really just the truth.

Amanda:

I tell parents who are like, I don't want my kid labeled. It's like, but

Leta:

not.

Amanda:

label.

Leta:

It's the truth. Get over by yourself. You are jackass. If your child starts doing very, very bad spades to their selves, you know whose fault it is?

Amanda:

I was tin just in case anyone was wondering when that started. Um,

Leta:

the wait? Which part? The kind yourself, or hitting yourself.

Amanda:

what We're gonna cut that part off, but, um, the thing is. You do label your child in ways you don't know. Like let's put, because autism, dyslexia, all of these things are so much a part of you. Let's pick something that every parent labels their child with. We labeled you with the name Leta. You didn't laugh. Your microphone is off. People cannot hear your laughter. I'm serious.

Leta:

Well, my child, why fucking child?

Amanda:

But isn't that a label? Isn't that giving them names mean something? We know most cultures mean something. I mean. You, you gave them a label. You said, this is who you are, you are Leta and, and so you're okay when you're the one giving the label. But when it's about something about Yeah. Mean I'm not, you're not recovering. It's true. Your name is as much a part of who you are as your autism is. If I were to take away your name, I'm erasing you, but think it through eLeta. Your name is as much a part of who you are as anything else.

Leta:

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Isn't the middle name also a label also isn't the last name also a

Amanda:

yeah, the entire name, the label. See women nowadays.

Leta:

would stop saying the middle name and try and do a Spanish accent,

Amanda:

Let's ignore

Leta:

fine In the world.

Amanda:

no, let's take the middle name or the last name. How many women now are keeping their maiden name? Because they are so attached to that label they were given at birth. They're keeping their surname because this is part of who I am to take my husband's name, is to erase my identity. If something as simple as your last name changing it erases your identity, then how much more complex is, I just don't see your autism. We'll not use the word autism. We will not allow you to be autistic.

Leta:

I'm sorry, I don't know who pushed you off of the plane and dropped you right into Jurassic Park and right into the figure two Xs then.

Amanda:

But I mean, you see where I'm coming from because. You hadn't thought of it like that. The, the parents, I mean, girls get a label. They get their father or their mother's last name when they're born. These girls are keeping them that name when they're getting married now.'cause I was so much a part of who they are. Do you as the teacher, want me to come in and go, I love you.

Leta:

found something. What

Amanda:

What?

Leta:

isn't the culture? Also, somewhat the label too, because it has a name on it.

Amanda:

Your culture is a label. Your culture is part of who you are. This idea of not labeling autism or dyslexia or any of the other major neurodiverse issues is ableism. The going, I am not going to label you is saying that this is terrible.

Leta:

a-hole. You are fuck a-hole. You are a-hole. Go on to the A-hole singing my Bible. Everyone will agree with me, or least everyone who's fucking autistic.

Amanda:

This goes back to both the awareness and the acceptance of autism because these teachers are aware autism exists, but they're thinking that by being accepting, it is, let's just ignore the label. Let's pretend the label doesn't exist. Let's not work with what label you

Leta:

are saying human beings are progressing in the world Now. We're digressing. We're digressing. There's no hope for humanity. We are digressing.

Amanda:

It is what it is. Um, but I think there's a huge issue, a major issue, um, with these, bringing it back into the dance studio. These dance teachers sit there and they tell parents, mostly neurotypical parents, Hey, we are an accepting. Community. We're not going to, you know, we're all neurodivergent here. No, no, no, no, no. You are not neurodivergent unless you've been

Leta:

What the fuck? Bullshit.

Amanda:

No, that's a very common deal. Oh, well, we're all a little off. No, autism is a specific form of disability.

Leta:

Hello? Yes. Can I punch you in the face then you Oh, be punched in the face? Definitely, definitely.

Amanda:

get violent, but I understand where the violent tendency's coming from, but let's not get violent. No. Right. Bring it back. Bring, bring it back just a little bit, but no, like. Parents will sit there and tell me about how welcoming their studio is. And me having gone through it, I'm sitting there going, it's not welcoming. And I know I had someone tell me how welcoming their child's studio was and their child has gone off to college and their child will never darken the door of that studio again. And the parent's like, but I thought they were so welcoming. And I'm like, the number one thing they said was, oh, we're all like this. There is something weird living with autism. I don't get the neurotypical community. I will say that straight out. Like they live in this weird world, but um,

Leta:

I have one thing.

Amanda:

yeah,

Leta:

How are

Amanda:

years of learning how to mask.'cause I was told you either mask or you will not be accepted.

Leta:

always.

Amanda:

And no, it was years of you cannot be autistic. You absolutely cannot be autistic. It was years of people telling me professionals and teachers. Ignoring my autism because if they just ignored it, if they treated me typical, then the autism would go away. If they didn't let me have that label, the autism would go away. If they just refused to allow me to be autistic, the autism would go away.

Leta:

I have one thing.

Amanda:

How much do I not talk to any of those?

Leta:

No, the world might be cruel.

Amanda:

I mean, but there's, the thing is, if you don't have that label, if you do, if you are not living this lived experience, and I've talked to people who are d. Diagnosed as adults and our lived experience is totally different. Um, and that's not a bad thing. That's not a good thing. That's just the truth of the matter. Their lived experience different than my lived experience. Um, please don't hurt yourself when you're stretching.

Leta:

How, how would I hurt myself while I'm stretching

Amanda:

But let's go back to one thing that you, but it is hard to ever like those teachers because I have teachers who think I should like them. And they're like, but we didn't treat you different. You didn't give me the accommodations I need needed. You knew that they were needed. You didn't give them to me.

Leta:

different? Bullied made.

Amanda:

I mean, I think that's the thing is I think a lot of people. I think a lot of the autistic people are like, if we have acceptance and it's not accept, it is acceptance, but the awareness and the acceptance go hand in hand. But I think a lot of the neurotypical community is like, I have accepted you by ignoring your needs.

Leta:

I have one thing.

Amanda:

Go ahead.

Leta:

Seriously, does anyone pick up a history book and learn to not do that stuff? They keep fucking repeating all that stuff. They learn nothing from history class. They learn history. They also just faking their head to repeat it all again.

Amanda:

And I wanna make it clear, I am not dissing our community. That is like, no, this is acceptance month. I think that there is a bunch of stuff around the awareness and if it hadn't been for certain. Groups. I think the awareness would be a lot easier for us to explain to, or for people like me to explain to the younger generation. We need that awareness. We need an awareness of what autism is. And I think the younger generation is exceeding acceptance as also awareness.'cause I'm talking to them and they're like, well, acceptance is giving me

Leta:

Gen C, right?

Amanda:

not just a, well, yeah, but I think it's not the Gen Z problem, I think. You know where the awareness came from. And I am typically showing around where the awareness came from for a reason.'cause there's some political landmines around that. But, so I understand why everyone's like, I don't want the awareness, but the acceptance, like especially within dance studios, the acceptance has been, I accept your autistic and I'm not going to. Yeah, the look on your face. You, you finally figured out why the awareness is a problem and you're having to agree with Gen Z, aren't you?

Leta:

Just, just turn into the wild.

Amanda:

You completely. You completely agree with Gen Z on this one, don't you? That there's a, there is a huge issue if the awareness month, a major issue, that's also where you get the red and the blue from, and certain gen deals. And I am just like, I'm taken away from the, but the acceptance can only come with. The where it is. And I hate that. I, I do hate that. Because the way you're acting right now, I mean, yeah. Okay. So the whole thing with the, the whole thing, the whole thing with the except awareness is because of your favorite. Go it the. No, but acceptance has to be more. Yeah, but come back here because this is back to the, I do not see your autism is what people are thinking is acceptance and Gen Z is not understanding completely, but hey, the learn in time that what they're saying that they want is acceptance is they want awareness and acceptance, which. Dear Gen Z as an elder millennial who watched you have some issues with the younger millennials, I pulling out the popcorn for your issues with Jen Alpha. This is fun.

Leta:

Why, why, why, why, why? Why?

Amanda:

Dear dance teacher should refuse to acknowledge your autism. Autism also includes hyper fixation like fixating on the fact that you're having to agree with Gen Z at the moment. So for the next 20 minutes we'll be doing this. No, but I mean there can, can, I know I'm asking the world. Would you like to, uh, take a break so you can get through your hyper fixation that you're having to agree with Gen Z? Breaking. Breaking, breaking, breaking. I think I broke the child. Okay, so, no, but here's where not seeing your autism comes in, because I see this as you're hyper fixating on something, you have hyper fixated on the fact that you agree with Gen Z over something. Congratulations. I'm going to get nothing from you until we get over this hyper fixation. I could at this point in time ignore your autism and say, I love you so much. I'm going to ignore the autism and try to deal with the get you over this hyper fixation. Yeah, I'm just talking over here. You you go ahead and be your hyper fixated self over there, but I'm aware of the fact that I can get nothing. You, you work this fixation through your, I acknowledge you have autism. Okay, I'm gonna pause. I'm gonna go grab a coffee, possibly a movie at this point in time before you un hyper fixate. We're gonna take a minor break because you're still having issues. And I'm going to insert right here the video that got me thinking on this.'cause we'd done something else, uh, for this week that was pretty much same thing, little different, but the video's going right here. You're calming down. It happens to the best of us. Video. Go right here. We'll all be good. See you on the other side of the video. Good news is there is no copyright strike on this video.

Leta:

I am good now.

Amanda:

I would say something about you hyper fixating, but your father still looks at Southern Methodist University football scores to go. Nina, Nina Boo Boo over the fact that they did not let him be part of their master's degree program in paleontology.

Leta:

I am good. Everything is fuck bullshit wrong in the world. I am good.

Amanda:

We're going go now. Um, no, but like it said in the video, you and I have both heard these things. You have heard. I am not going to allow you to have limitations because if I have allow you to have limitations, you will never know what you can do. Are you good? Are you still hyper fixating? Which is a limitation. Hyper fixation is a major limitation. Is it not? I feel like you may need a moment. Okay. I'm going to give you a little bit more of a moment.

Leta:

made me agree with my generations enemy. I

Amanda:

Okay? I'm going to give you a little bit more of a moment, alright? Alright.

Leta:

keep talking.

Amanda:

I'm going to go grab a drink of water again and I'll be right back. All right, you are fine. Now, you have done your hyper fixation and you're fine now, correct?

Leta:

I'm good. I'm fine. I am good. I'm fine.

Amanda:

Not completely, but we're getting somewhere. So, yay that, um, this is called hyper fixation and it happens. Uh, can you answer a quick question or are you too hyper fixated?

Leta:

Nope. Nope. Not as hyper fixated as that one. One thing from las like,

Amanda:

You are still hyper fixating on kicking, almost kicking Ryland in the face in DC. So, I mean, here's a thing.

Leta:

Off of his head and almost mustache.

Amanda:

so here's the thing, little one of mine. Um, and, and feel free to, uh. Disagree with me. How many of your dance teachers understand hyper fixation? How many of them have not understood that? If you are hyper fixating, you need to probably be pulled out.'cause you are so hyper fixating, you are going to be a danger to yourself sometimes in how you're doing choreography.

Leta:

Ooh. How about, let's not mention how many times I've almost died in dance classes.

Amanda:

When you are hyper fixating, um, and even the best studios, you have had a couple studios that have really tried their hardest. You get so hyper fixated on learning choreography or rehearsing choreography that you will work through some major pain, including yet not limited to the scar you now have on your leg.

Leta:

I no longer have it. I

Amanda:

Oh, congratulations. You've grown enough that the scar has grown with your skin. Yay. That's not,

Leta:

little pink circle now.

Amanda:

yeah. Well it used to be like the entire length of your, uh, shin bone there, but you literally hyper fixate on learning choreography to the point that you cla fell. Got a scrape from the bottom of your shim bone to the top of your knee.

Leta:

and apparently me stopped dancing because I don't want to get blood on the floor. It made me deserve gain peace by my mother for not still dancing while I did want to get blood on the floor.

Amanda:

that was a different time. Leta.

Leta:

Are you

Amanda:

yeah. You've got them confused. No, that was a time when you fell off the box was the time that they had to make you stop dancing.

Leta:

Oh yeah.

Amanda:

Yeah, keep up with the ones, but they made you stop dancing and I was teasing them going, you have to understand she's been trained. You dance through everything, especially with your hip pain. You are going to hyper fixate on the, um, choreography and doing what you're supposed to correctly to. What are you doing with the mic?

Leta:

face was itchy.

Amanda:

Okay, so we're using the mic expensive microphone as a face. Hitcher. Got it. Um, but I think that's where the ignoring your autism, ignoring what goes with your autism awareness is more than just, oh, autism is there. And I think this circles back to you're, we're going to try and do this without you hyper fixating. I think some of the younger generation is seeing awareness as just, oh, autism exists. We're at the point. Everyone knows autism exists. What I don't think anyone's understanding is awareness is also understanding. It is more than being aware that this exists. It is being aware that it has limitations and those limitations. It turns out more and more are. Being that these are physical limitations in your brain for some things, please quit being so annoyed by the fact that you have to agree with people that your eye is twitching.

Leta:

I wanna stop point out because I'm trying not to stress giggle because when I stress giggle, I can't stop stress giggling and every time I stress giggle, people say I'm disrespecting them and I can't. I time I stress.

Amanda:

I mean, so back to you have had teachers who go, I don't see your autism. I refuse to let you have a label, but that stress giggling actually is very autistic. Autistic, a lot of autistic people,

Leta:

I'm.

Amanda:

but, but it shouldn't be 'cause that is your autism. I mean, that is actually a very common autistic trait right there.

Leta:

Well that, and then I can't control what comes outta my mouth.

Amanda:

So a common autistic trait. But no, the stress giggling that you just giggle when you are stressed is a very common autistic trait that if they don't see your autism, it's much easier for them not to see that what looks weird to them is very normal to the community. Like if you. Got a bunch of autistic people in the room and said, do you stress giggle? Do you know how long it took me to not stress giggle because I had to force myself not to stress giggle.

Leta:

That one I pinned against the wall. Still annoyed about that one time. Still hyper fixating about that one time people, one certain person. If you all watching this, you be, Don will know what I'm talking about. Still hyper fixating on that.

Amanda:

Well, your father is going to die. Hyper fixated on the fact that he did not have differential calc and because, or differential equations, why did I say calc? It's B, it's morning. He didn't have di your father is gonna die on the fact that he didn't have.

Leta:

the stress. Go going.

Amanda:

Literally, your father was not accepted to SMU, not because of his grades, not because he hadn't done a lot of stuff, but because your father didn't have Diffy Q and it wasn't offered. In a way that he could grab it before going on to graduate school, and they were like, everything else is great. We just won't accept you'cause of your diffy cue. Your father is never going to forget that. SMU turned him down because he didn't have a class that wasn't even required for him to graduate if he taken it through his same courses study through his university.

Leta:

that one and then he said after what I said, that I accidentally burned him. I forget what I said, but I, I, I don't know. But it was covid, they eight year day going on, 9-year-old me accidentally burned my father.

Amanda:

But let's get back to, if you don't see the autism, you can't see the autistic traits. What you see then are weird quirks that are actually autistic traits that we're finding more papers, more studies is showing that these are autistic traits. So I. You can't see that you stress giggling is not being rude. It's just a, um, thing.

Leta:

Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you, are you saying it's just part of autism? Why then I. Know this before,

Amanda:

because we just are starting to publish those papers, Leta,

Leta:

okay? Why could I have published that paper when I don news? Certain embarrassing things happen,

Amanda:

Because previously autistic papers were written by neurotypical people and they were trying to find the cure for autism,

Leta:

assholes.

Amanda:

and the new papers are being written by autistic people trying to find out what we all seemingly have in common. And let's be honest, it's a bunch of people's, uh, hyper fixation. Why am I giggling so much? I'm curious why I giggle in these situations. I am going to hyper fixate on the fact that I giggle when I'm stressed. I am going to hyper fixate to the point I'm going to go to undergrad, master's and graduate school. And then I am, you look like a little kitty cat over there. And then I'm going, you're distracting me. They are hyper fixating on this Leta. They go all the way to get their PhDs to figure out why they're giggling when they're stressed.

Leta:

Oh, oh, so I.

Amanda:

I mean, I cannot, um. Yes you do actually. But I cannot understand ex under or I cannot understand. I cannot understand the neurotypical people who sit there and say, and we're about to wrap this up, sit there and say, I love you so much. I don't see your autism. Who then assume that I don't see your autism is acceptance of who you are. What about you?

Leta:

Yeah. What. I was it.

Amanda:

Oh, you're itchy. I just wanted, but no, so if you had one thing to say. To people who are hearing this from other people, to autistic people, to members of the community who are hearing from other people, I don't see your autism. I don't see your limitations and I won't allow you to see your autism and limitation. What would you tell people in the community who are hearing that?

Leta:

So if you're on the, they'll be as hell. Destroy their souls and make them realize they're stupid as hell. Yeah.

Amanda:

Okay. How about you are not damaged? I mean, you are not. It's, they honestly don't seem to care. They don't. They want a black and white world. They want a world dev, not even black and white. I think black and white has too many colors for these weirdos. What about you, Leta?

Leta:

more like, let's see. Not say this.

Amanda:

Like maybe a gray shades of gray.

Leta:

Still too much color. Seven.

Amanda:

Sid shades. They don't want the rainbow of colors. They want everything to be nice and cookie cutter. And you're not cookie color. You are a vibrant shade of whatever your favorite color is.

Leta:

broken things look gorgeous. My mother says I can make

Amanda:

That's not what I'm saying. That is not what I was saying. I was saying that it to me, but I mean, sea glass is nothing but broken glass. It's been polished in the ocean. And it's absolutely beautiful and people do art on it, but you're not broken. So I wanna make that clear. Just because you're autistic doesn't mean you're broken. Um, here's the fun thing, just because I'm a cuckoo, crazy person. Uh, we're gonna wrap this up. Um, this week on Thursday, which is two days from now, we are going to be on, um. Live Stories podcast. Uh, I'm gonna come back Thursday when it drops and put it in the description. Um, it's going. The link will be on all of our socials. Thank you to Ms. Shara for having us on. Correct. I.

Leta:

Yes,

Amanda:

correct. Go listen to her podcast. It's amazing. She interviews people from all over walks of life. Uh, it's way more exciting probably than all of our Autism, autism, autism, dance, dance, dance. Um, this Friday we have Sam Mitchell coming on from Autism Rocks and Rolls, and we're gonna talk about his life on the spectrum. They can find you almost all over the place at Leta Tap Styles. Uh, on TikTok, it's Leta Tap Styles Podcast. Follow the socials, like, comment and subscribe. Correct. Leta,

Leta:

We have Toby.

Amanda:

the chubby puppy is upstairs sleeping right now. Um, 'cause Dad was on night shift this week. Um. I am just not today. Like, comment, share, subscribe. Uh, if you are listening to this on your favorite podcast streaming network, you can actually text us. Go to the website, lead to tap styles.com. We've got some guest coming up in the next two weeks. If you go to our Facebook page, you can leave a comment or questions for the guests coming up and we will talk to everyone on Friday. Right, Leta. Have a great rest of your week. Bye.

Leta:

Okay, well thank you for watching the PIT podcast and please subscribe and also look at the Adorable Don't Watch Subscribe for. And also please like, and if you'll, if you'll any of our new podcast and also you see the Adorable Don, you Like It.

People on this episode

Contributor

Amanda Trisdale

Host
Head Shot

Leta Rundell

Host