Leta's Tap Styles (And My Autistic Life)

Safeguarding Autistic Children: Boundaries and Consent

• Leta and Amanda • Season 2

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Disclaimer:
This episode contains adult themes and frank discussions about domestic violence and sexual assault. While we attempt to stay PG during the discussion, listener discretion is advised.

Welcome to a special “Friends’ Friday” episode of Leta’s Tap Styles And My Autistic Life!
Co-hosts Amanda Trisdale and Leta Rundell are joined by guest Sabrina Osso (Osso Safe) for a powerful conversation about safeguarding autistic children through boundaries and consent. Together, they discuss the importance of teaching respect in schools and dance studios, and practical strategies for empowering neurodivergent voices. Along with discussing abuse, and why every child should never feel as if they have no escape from their abuser.

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I'm gonna get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. Hi, it's Amanda from Leta's Tap Styles in My Autistic Life. Uh, usually this is part of the show where you get a cute, uh, clip from the show showing you why you wanna listen to the show. Uh, however, our guest today, Sabrina Oso of Oso Safe Homes and Lita and I. Are discussing a very adult topic, not that we're not discussing adult topics. I mean, what kid wants to listen to a bunch of therapists discuss, oh, what's going on with therapy? Um, but this episode focuses on, uh, Sabrina's program. Oso Safe and focuses on how we can help children. Understand they have the right to live in a home free of dv and how they can ask and state which adult in their life they feel is safe when and if those options are available. Um, we also talk about the o Osaf homes that Sabrina is starting, where they are trying to stop domestic violence before it happens. Uh, we. Do discuss some issues in the dance world. We discuss also some issues both Liam and I have had with SA because of this trigger warning. If this is a subject you are not comfortable with, I understand also parental warning because usually you know. You can have the podcast on while kids are around, be, it may be a more adult podcast, but hey, let the children listen to, um, how to properly do speech therapy or what a parental advocate is. This one, I, as a parent, I'd let my, I would have my, um. So close. As a parent, I would suggest listening to this before you let your children listen to it, unless they're likely and I are and unfortunately experienced this way too early in life. I would say sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. But this isn't one I can say that to. I hope you learn something from the show or get something out of it. We are going to also include some resources in the description below, and all of Sabrina's resources will for Osso Safe Home, including videos and everything. We'll be living on our website under our autistic resources page on the website. I am Leta. That's my mom mom. This is person. That is her introduction to the podcast. Uh, we're still working on introducing Sabrina. Thank you for coming on. I have learned that when I introduce our guest, I sound like a robot, to the point that it has been dinged by, uh, like Google in places as I am AI. So would you mind introducing yourself? Sure. Sure. That's okay. That's okay. Oh, this is so great. I'm so excited to be on the podcast with the both of you. Um, my name is Sabrina Oso from Oso Safe. Feel Safe where you live, learn, work, and play. I am a TEDx speaker, a uh, children's book author, a dancer, a dance teacher, and a real estate agent on creating and maintaining respect in homes, workplaces, and schools. So this is so exciting. No, I was really excited when you reached out because, uh, within the autistic community, the rates of abuse are high. Like I told you, during our pre-interview and learning, not just for the kids, but even for the parents, that you can set boundaries and you don't have to deal with it, is something we don't do a great enough job of explaining in our community. Yes. And I, I, I didn't realize that, that it's so elevated in, uh, with autism, uh, and I, I think it's just elevated across the board, but it sounds like from our pre-interview, it's even more elevated and you would think. There needs to be more care and even more, uh, pronounced respect, but it's like the opposite. So it's definitely a learning curve, uh, an education that needs to happen and a practice where it's practiced, you know, uh, which is what we'll talk about on this interview, I'm sure. I know both Leta and I during the pre-interview, were talking about some of the situations we have faced before. Um, both of us have had. Issues with people crossing that line. And um, I know a lot of, even when I went through it, um, I was abused by a teacher, as I told you on the interview and the therapist afterwards, 'cause my parents did put me in therapy. Their number one thing was, well, I mean, kind of you did this and it all led back to my autism that because of my difference, I just wasn't good at putting up those boundaries, which kind of probably should never have been on the child itself. Yeah, of course, of course. Yes. Uh uh, and I'm so sorry to hear that. Um, uh, uh, I mean, like I said, this is, this is not so. That it, it should be a, I don't wanna say a no-brainer, but it should be so obvious. So, uh, uh, laid out and established with the school, the teachers, the staff, the principal, the superintendent, everybody involved, essentially. Um, and, and, you know, you don't have to be qualified as an autism expert to respect someone. You know, that's ABCs, that is the groundwork, it's the foundation of what we do at Oso Safe. So no matter what the age of the child that is, it is just, it's just even, something. Yeah, Go ahead. Go ahead. It should've you go ahead. It shouldn't be something like you were saying. A lot of times when we talk about why we started the studio and the issues Leta had had with people touching her where she didn't wanna be touched as dance teachers, people are like that. Go ahead, kiddo. So help me. Last time I checked, touching My Hip is. See, and all of that can be established right at the beginning, you know, the beginning of the school year, the beginning of a class, and even to repeat it as a reminder, the these are the. Parts of the body. Definitely the bathing soup parts as we say, you know, uh, at school, at also safe, uh, and, and all ages. I would say bathing soup parts are off limits. Uh, I would say even the mouth area and, and you can communicate with the child and the teacher have a group meeting to say, look, she, she or he also does not like to be touched on the hip or anywhere on the ribcage or,'cause sometimes in dance, you know, we're very conscious of our bodies in dance, especially in all styles of dance. So, so it's good to say this right at the beginning, you know, I, I don't wanna be touched and it's okay to set that boundary, you know? Um, yeah, definitely. Oh, I did. They just did not care. They also used the excuse that they're also women. See. Good point, Leta. Good point, excellent point. You know, I find that, uh, like it's almost as if this, um, what's happening, I think even on social media or just in the public arena. All girls are great and all boys are bad. That's not true. There's bad, there's, there's disrespectful boys res respectful boys. There's disrespectful girls. Respectful girls. So, uh, but I feel like with kids. Um, all of you are so strong and yet vulnerable at the same time, so we need to really respect and practice that and really repeat it over and over again and to like, say when you're uncomfortable, Hey, stop, respect my body. That's uncomfortable for me. As soon as it happens, don't wait. Don't, don't try to like, well, maybe he or she is having a bad day. No, that's an excuse. Nope. Stop. Respect my body. Um, I'm sorry. Sometimes I go off on a tangent, but, uh, this is all good stuff to talk about. Yeah, and feel free to go off on a tangent. I do the same thing. Uh, she would tell the dance teachers, I would tell the dance teachers and we would usually get, well, I mean, I know that's her boundary, but, and I'm like, the problem is there's no, but you stop at, that's her boundary. Right. Right. And it's, you know, I taught dance and I still do, uh, here and there, and I included in what I do with Oso Safe because we, we go into schools of all, and, and, and, teach children, students of all ages. Uh, you, you have to, uh, establish that boundary. And, and it's not something that, you know, the teacher can still teach to respect that boundary. It's not like, oh, well I can't teach unless I touch leader's hip. Yes, you can. You can still teach dance, you could still get the choreography. A across your tap. Shoes are still going to be heard if you don't touch her hip or the shoulders, or definitely not the bathing suit parts, it's still going to come across, you know? So why are they fighting you? Why are they making such a big deal about nothing? Nothing. You know, it's like, okay. And I know when I taught dance and I taught for, uh, let's see, I taught for 10 years and um, uh, and I live in New Jersey, so I taught in a lot of places in New Jersey when I heard a student, uh, had a boundary, whatever that may be. I had students that were, um, they needed their EpiPen, otherwise they would have seizures. I respected that. No problem. Do you have your EpiPen right now? No. Well go get it. You know, we'll stop class right now. We'll go get it, because we don't want, we want to be preventative, you know, versus waiting for something to happen and then, oh my gosh, this could have been prevented. So have your EpiPen ready, have your water, whatever makes you comfortable. And you know, it's not about, uh, making the student feel isolated or weird, or a freak. Not at all, not at all. It's about joining everybody together. And that's what should be great about dance is that no matter where you come from, what religion you are, what color of your skin, what type of dance you like. Um, that's where we're there to move, right? We're there to listen to music and to choreograph and to dance and to unite, you know? So, um, yeah, teachers, really, teachers and the superintendent and the, the, the teachers, the students, the staff, it's not, it's not going to ruin their day if they, if they, to respect a student's boundary at all. And the number of times I've had neurotypical parents of autistic kids come up to me, especially while she was in dance, going, you have to do what the dance teacher says.'cause there's a lot of, uh, especially every studio she's ever been in, it's like she doesn't like being hugged. It's a thing a lot of autistic kids don't like being hugged. And the dance teachers are like, well, I can't deal with this. You have to hug me after class. Everyone hugs me after class. And I'm like, if you are training the child that their boundaries can be pushed by other people, they're going to get into situations where that boundary pushing is a very bad boundary pushing. And you've taught them it's okay, so they're not gonna come to you and go, Hey, so and so touched me in the bathing suit area. Excellent point, right? Because if the teacher allows it or does it, then the students are going to follow. And then it creates a lot of upset, unnecessary upset, and, and, uh, discomfort. And, and how is Leta or any student supposed to learn? And, and dance is supposed to be joyous. It's supposed to be a good experience. It's supposed to be fun and, and, uh, you're making great memories. And well, how are you supposed to do that if the teacher responds that way? I have to ask. Was there more pushback from the teacher and the studio owner? Or the studio owner was also had that kind of attitude also? Yes. See, I see you nodding your head. That's amazing. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. And she's been her dad's miLetary. We've been to multiple dance studios across the country, and it's always the same. It's like, but I have to do this in order to work with her. And I'm like, but you don't understand with autistic kids, you are training them more than even their neurotypical counterparts. So when someone does cross an illegal boundary, they don't know to come to you and tell you they crossed the illegal boundary. Right. Right. Uh, wow. Um, and I'm so glad we're doing this podcast together because, uh, I'm getting ideas that I could even, uh, do like a, the oso safe. Home suite, home seminar for dance teachers and, and dance studio owners where, um, like it's the same whether you respect has to be established and practiced in the home at school, university, workplace, uh, dance studio, uh, whatever. It's, it's the same across the board. And like I said, what did, what would they lose by not touching a student like Leta or any student for that matter? I've had students actually, you know, I like if they didn't wanna be hugged, if they didn't want to be, um, like, uh. I know a lot of us dance teachers, we touch in order to correct a lot of the time. Like, you know, we touch a leg, we touch a, an arm or, you know, but if the student had any reservation, I would respect that and I would just point and say, and I would stand next to the student, you know, like, this is your right side, this is your left side. You see the arm, you went like this, but the arm has to go down instead of up, you get the point across. You don't have to touch the student. You don't have to do anything, you know, with the student at all. So, and especially, it's all about making the student comfortable and, uh, it, it ruins it for everybody. So, I'm so sorry, Leta and Amanda, they should know that like. Uh, like it's common sense, you know, and, and, uh, you get your point across by no touching, no nothing, nothing, nothing. And then it creates friction with the other students. Like, Hey, if Ms. Jane just touch Leta, then I could touch Leta too. And I don't blame you for removing her from the dance studio. Uh, and I, you know, autism, no autism, it, it, like, it's just, I'm so sorry. Uh, people are, it's actually, they're being abusive. I'll say it. You know, they're kind of being abusive, like to, to, to insist that they have to touch the student and hug the student. No. I am not up making excuses for the abusers, but I think a lot of times that's how it starts with abusers is they don't know they're being abusive and they just kind of snowball downhill because no one has told them. Bad puppy. Bad puppy. Right, right. And, and, and I'm surprised that even'cause you, you from, you know, I wasn't there, but from what you're saying, you, you did your best to explain it to them. To talk to them, and I'm sure privately as well as with Lida and you brought up I'm sure maybe even some statistics, excellent points, reasons. And yet they still didn't respect that. I mean, that, that, I'm sorry. That's inexcusable. Unacceptable. And like I said, my brain is, um. Like I, maybe I could reach out to even the studios, the dance studios that I taught in, and to say, look, if you, if you want me to, I could even teach the teachers, you know, and teach the studio owners. Like, look, do you want students in your studios? You, you, it, it's like, it's a, um, a blanket education for everybody, you know? Uh, autism or no, autism, you know, it's like whatever. Um, uh, like I said, I had students that needed their EpiPen and they had to have it nearby, otherwise they would have a seizure and it could be deadly. You know, I, I heard of stories where, oh, my, almost deadly, or at least, um, where the consequences were. They don't have use of their left side or their right side. They had a seizure and they, they bit their to, I mean, you know, horrible things. So, so, um, yeah, it's about freedom and respect. You know, they go hand in hand in dance as well as non dance. So I'm so sorry that you went through all of that, but I'm so glad that now out of that pain, Leta, you got your, your, uh, your tap studio, right? And your, your, your dancing on your terms, and you, any kids, any students that you have that have autism, oh, you're, if it hasn't happened already, um, you're gonna know how to handle that.'cause you're going through it and you're helping other students. So I'm, I'm gonna start crying. That's so great. You know. Our teachers have been really great'cause they've heard what she's gone through and they're always asking students, can I touch you? What's okay with me touching you? Where is it okay to touch you? Which is what would benefit so many other studios. Um, because then, and they will back off. If a child has wanted to be touched before but doesn't wanna be touched that day, the teachers will back off and go, it's okay. Do not have to deal with it. Great. Awesome, awesome. I'm so glad to hear that, you know? Yeah. And I'm so glad that you didn't lose hope, you know, because I'm sure a lot of students would've given up and just been like, you know, we went through this 2, 3, 4 or 5, 6, 7 times. Well, there's, there's just no hope, so I'm so glad that you, you created. A space where, uh, kids with students with autism on every level can dance and they could be free, and they could be respected, and they could be, they can dictate, um, yes. I, I can be touched. You can correct me. No, today. No, no. And that's okay. And you're making it. Okay. So li I'm so proud of you. Oh my gosh. This is so great. And I'm saying this to you as a, as a survivor of violence, uh, I'm, um, my father be my mother on a regular basis. My mother would beat me. I'm saying this to you as a dance teacher. I'm saying this to you as the founder and CEO of Oso safe, where respect is foundational. So I'm so proud of you. This is so great, and you're helping so many students. Leta, oh my gosh. You and your mom. You're helping so many kids. Um, this is so awesome. And it's about consent, right? Like we, there's a lot of talk about consent Yeah. and it's not just boys asking for consent for girls, like you said previously. I mean, our female teachers have to ask ' because even they have gone, I'm working with boys. I need to be more careful when I'm working with the boys for asking for consent just because of, you know, Not done that. Was the boys at all? Ms. Gale not, she thought I was meaning dance Oh, sorry, I didn't know you meant Miss Gail. Yes, yes, she has sanity and like the dance teachers, that studio I've been to before except the one in New Mexico. Because I know the people from the New Mexico are not listening. I am not talking about you people at all, except for certain ones, but you know who they are. But for the rest of you people, I love you people. I'm not talking about you people. I hope you don't think we're talking about you people. I'm sure, I'm sure they, they understand. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I, I would think so. I would think so. uh, she has some very strong opinions on this if you can't tell, as we all probably should. I don't blame her. I don't blame her, you know?'cause when you, you've gone through any degree of trauma or discord or, Hey, you crossed my boundary. You, you cr you went into my space and I asked you nicely. I clearly stated it. Uh, yeah. You, you put your guards up. I get it. And, and it's good. Leta, it's good, you know, it, it's, it's, um, it's appropriate, you know, and, and this is for boys and girls. Uh, it's definitely, um, you're, you're being a good example for anybody that's gone through it and is gonna go through it and you're like, you know, the red flags, you and your mom, you know, the red flags. So you could say, Ooh, what happened in your state, in your dance studio? Ooh, you know what you need to do instead of X, Y, Z, do A, B, C. And hopefully that will make it better. And, uh, like, I like that there's so much talk about consent on social media. Like teachers, they'll have, I'll see it on posts where the, the students come in and then they, she has like a picture. She or he has a picture. How do you wanna be greeted? Handshake. A high five, uh, a hip, like a, a hip bump or just a wave or a hug, and it's their choice, right? So that is so great to exercise that, to practice that. And especially when you start getting into relationships, you already are armed with that. Like, you're, you're, wow, whoa, whoa, this boyfriend, this girlfriend is talking about things. It's making me feel creepy. It's making me feel yucky. Bye. I don't need you. Bye. So, Leta, you're practicing that and it's so great and you're helping so many students. I can't, you know, and, and I'm sure you, you're you and your mom, you know that after go, going through what you did and um, uh, and. Like I said, in dance, it's not necessary to touch and hug and move a leg. If you don't want your leg moved, a teacher can show you. It's as simple as that without touching, you know? Um, yeah. Uh, that's, like I said, it's one of the reasons I wanted to have you on is 'cause the Oso Safe program. You guys are not talking to the adults completely. You're also talking to the kids about where, what boundaries are and how to be respectful. And you've got an entire kid's book on this to make it easier to explain to the kids. Right. Yes. Yes. Thank you so much for bringing that up. Yes. Yeah. Kids are at the, uh, at the core of what we do at Also Safe, because I know. Just growing up in my crazy house, I, I had nobody, nobody to help me. Not family, not friends, not neighbors, not distant family. Everybody kept quiet. So I felt like a freak. I felt like, what's wrong with me? Uh, you gotta obey your parents and they're putting food on the table for you. They put clothes on your back, they're paying for your education. You have a house. And I'm like, and growing up I felt like I owe them. I, I owe them. And that's not the case at all. You know? And if anything, you know, growing up, and I say this in my podcast, you don't get extra credit for all those things. You put a kid on the planet. Yeah, you gotta feed them. You gotta clothe them. You gotta house them. What did you think? Did you expect them to be raised by wolves? Yeah. You gotta do those things and you know, it's like, um, you don't get extra credit for that. And so, so with that kind of thinking, because you gave me clothes and a place to live and you paid for my education, you get to beat me, you get to abuse me. I would've rather lived in a cardboard box than be beaten or, or watch you beat my mom or, you know, um, so, so you don't have to be apologetic about that, you know, kids. Um, so we, I, I wish I had my products and services growing up because my parents would not have gotten away with half the things they got away with. And so I, I really thought long and hard. About my business, how I want that a structured, and kids are at the focal point. They are at the core. We're giving them voice and choice. So, and I'm glad Amanda, you, you mentioned the book, it's Home, safe Home for You and Me and we are making this like, kind of like a requirement in all homes, no matter the home. And we say we are introducing a couple of ideas and one of them is know that for the moment, which means right now you are safe. So just to have this notion of right here, right now, don't think about the past. Don't think about the future. You're safe right now. And we are introducing to kids. You know, who makes you feel safe and free and respected and good. You kids know. So to give them voice and choice and to let them know that we believe you, we're not going to say, oh, you're making that up. Uh, you're exaggerating. No. However you said it, however you explained it, that's how it happened. That's your truth, you know? So, and we are encouraging kids to say, um, who do you feel safe with? Is it mom, dad? Stepmom. Stepdad? Well, what if it isn't? What if it isn't? Mom, dad? Stepmom, stepdad. Maybe it's an aunt, an uncle, a grandparent, a close family friend. So we're encouraging them to say the Oso Safe kids cheer. And it goes like this, I wanna live where I am so safe and I am oso safe with, and they get to fill in the blank. It could be mom, dad, stepmom, stepdad, but maybe it's an aunt, an uncle or grandparent, a close family friend. So to give them voice and choice to plant those seeds. And we realize kids could lie, right? And when I say lie, because they're scared, like what if it's mom and dad attacking them? Stepmom. Stepdad. They could lie and say, no, no, no. I'm safe with mom and dad. We know at so safe that abusers can keep their poker face on for so long, sooner than later, their abusive, true colors will come out. And we will help you get to that safe person because we planted the seed with the book. Um, so, so yeah. So I wanted to create something that really speaks to kids of all ages and, uh, and the book, uh, helps them to give voice and choice. Um, yeah. So thank you so much for bringing that up. I really wanted to bring it up.'cause I mean, it's for most kids. Their abuser is not some unknown boogeyman hiding under the bed. It is definitely someone in their lives and it's someone who is in that position of authority. Yes, excellent point. In fact, the statistic is, is that 90% of kids that are, uh, assaulted, sexually assaulted especially, um, 90% of them know who that person is, which means it's either a mom, dad, stepmom, stepdad, it could be a boyfriend, a girlfriend like the boyfriend and the girlfriend of the father and the mother, you know, if there's divorce or they're separated. So, so that's why we at also safe, we say, we will believe you kids. We will, uh, we will trust your, your, um, we believe you, we trust you. And we realize, yeah, maybe kids fib. They stretch the truth a little bit, but what do you have to lose and gain by doing that? Believe them. Believe them. Because yeah, if they fib, you'll find out. And, and more often they're not. And than not, they're saying the truth, you know? And it took a lot of courage to say that truth. If they got attacked, like, like a teacher, you know, everybody, a lot of people think that. And, and we're not saying don't respect your teachers, obviously respect your teachers, but what if they disrespect you? Well, you need to speak out. And we know it's scary and we know that. Wait a minute, I, I, how, how can I speak out? I'm the student, I'm the kid. No. Speak out. And even if you don't speak out right away, you'll get the courage to speak out. That's why the book kind of plants that seed, as I mentioned. And even if it takes you a week, 10 days a month, a couple of months to speak out, that's okay. Let it be okay. And we say that in the book actually. If you are too afraid to say, that's okay, we meet you where you are, you know it, it's okay. If today is not good for you to speak out, that's okay. No pressure. You don't need more pressure. You know, kids don't need more pressure. Um, so yes, I'm so glad that you mentioned that, Amanda.'cause, um. You know, the, the people that should be protecting the kids. In a lot of cases they are the perpetrators, you know? So, so, and I have to say, uh, and you could, you could, um, you could either agree with me or disagree with me. And I can only speak from New Jersey'cause we're on the East Coast, but the laws, the courts, the judges, child protective service agencies, they are horrible, horrible. And thank you, Leta. Yeah. See, uh, I, and what we're doing at Also Safe, our intention is that you won't need the courts, you won't need the judges, you won't need Child Protective Services. Everything gets resolved right in the home, um, because they have it so wrong. They make horrible matters, even worse. So I designed the Oso Safe Home Suite, home Suite Home package. So that way you won't even need the courts. You may have to call the police if the abuser doesn't want to leave. But we have it all in the documents. In order for you to live here, you have to act non abusively. If you act abusively, you go not the rest of the family. That's not a, that's not abusive, but you, the abuser, whether it be mom, dad, stepmom, stepdad, whoever's the abuser, you gotta go because I have to protect everybody else in the building, in the house, in the property. And you don't have to go to court. You just go. Just go. And you're not coming back. Child Protective Services, why? Why call them? Why call them when they make matters even worse. And that's it. The dog is in the background, barking at a squirrel. That's what lead's talking about over there. Uh, yeah. I will, uh, say our child protective services are terrible. Uh, my sister got called. just gonna say. I can't say the words 'cause a pregnant dogs at least raise their children right mentally and B, yet still, at least pregnant dogs at least raise their children to have sense. Because I just said your. aunt beforehand, I would like to say it wasn't your aunt. Who's that bad? Uh, she got child protective Services called on her.'cause the kids in the neighborhood went home and my sister had an original Addie doll from the American Girl Collection that she was locking in the room so the kids couldn't play with them. And one of the parents heard her talk, their kids talking about how my sister was locking Addie in a room so she couldn't play. So who got who? Who got My sister, they, someone called on her locking her American girl doll up. But they, And I appreciate make sure you teach your children early on in life how to properly use English. I. the kids were going back to their parents from my sister's house. Like, uh, just the neighborhood kids going, oh yeah, miss Emily locks Addie in a room. And so one of the parents did what the right thing to do was, and called the police. And the police show up and my sisters, the doll. They met the doll. They met the doll. Unless the doll suddenly is possessed, they met the doll. I. but they'll show up for that. And my sister was calling on an actual abuse case and they're like, well, we don't think it's abusive yet. And she's like, so you'll show up.'cause I have my doll locked in a room. I know it's backwards. It's absolutely backwards. I know, and you would think that they, they would have enough experience. They, they have enough cases to decipher, to, to differentiate. Uh, um, it is just absolutely mind-boggling. And, and I know here, like the judges weigh what Child Protective Services says a lot like they, and they shouldn't, they really shouldn't. They have it wrong more than they have it. Right? So, see, and you're in, uh, Colorado, so like, I didn't know how things went in Colorado, but you just, uh, you just affirmed. I mean, this is across the country really, and it, they, it's, it's, it's, they really need to be, I hate to say it, if your, your job is to protect children and you are not doing that, you're making it even worse. You need to go. You need to go. What is your purpose? Then? What is your purpose? Then go do something else. Go collect garbage. Go do, I don't know, engineering put pipes together. But if you're in the business of protecting children and you're, and you're making it even worse where kids are being, uh, uh, um, attacked even more, and you don't even know that the kid is being abused. You don't think it's abuse yet. Well, what does that mean? And then you're, you're, you know, that parent should have. Talk to your sister first before calling Child Protective Services and, and get the truth, like get more of the truth and be like, I, I'm just trying to decipher what really happened before going to the extreme and getting Child Protective Services involved when, like I said, they have it more wrong than right. And it is traumatizing. It's traumatizing to the, I don't know about in Colorado, but they'll take the kid outta school and pepper them with questions and then they do a, a three month investigation, you know. She was lucky that her next door neighbor happened to be a high ranking state patrolman who stepped in and went before they even got to the house and went, yeah, it's her American girl doll. Did you think to even check to see if she had a child named daddy before you came out to investigate? Oh, that's good. See? How about we take all the Child Protective services people and all the very bad at their job cops? Let's not go to that extreme. yeah. Uh, I mean, at least at a cartoon level, you know? What she Gin Alpha is going to be a very special generation with growing up during COVID. What. Yes. I right. Oh, co. Yes. Yes. Um, uh, I, I know, um, I, I had a question for you. Uh, like Thera, we are big proponents of therapy. I'd also safe. In fact, I have included therapy as part of your home life. Uh, but good therapists, like therapists that, uh, do a one month check-in under Oso safe just to make sure everything is okay versus waiting for an episode of violence or abuse to occur. Because then, not that it's too late, but it could have been preventative. Um, do you find that therapists are also need education or, yes. Okay. So our current, um, medical and uh, psych psychology degrees. Do not include any education on autism Wow. My goodness. Oh my goodness. they, you can actually be prescribing meds to these kids and did not have to learn about A DHD or autism, which I think is why they're over-prescribing meds we know don't work. Um, but it also, I know all of my therapists I ever had, had no training in autism and that's who I was going to for dealing with a very traumatic situation and that did not help. It just added more trauma.'cause they wanted me to act neurotypical though, looking back, I'm like, I was 10 when I went through this. What the heck makes any of you guys think I could just brush it off? Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Wow. Yeah. See, this is very eye-opening for us at Also Safe, and this is so good that we're having this conversation because, um, yeah, you're, you're in the profession of, of, improving people's mental state and. And they definitely overprescribe in this country. And I get the feeling that you agree, and I'm so glad, you know, because I mean, meds have their place, I guess. But, uh, it's another area where if you have good therapy, I think that will replace the meds. And just that connection and understanding and listening and practicing that respect over and over again. Um, I think that you, you'll, you'll go further, um, than just medicating and numbing, you know? Would you agree Amanda and Leta. Yeah. Especially, um, she's heard me talk about it. She has not been on meds and may have gotten her anti med stance from me. Their way of dealing with my, what we would now call compounded PTSD was, oh, well, we'll just keep upping your meds until the PTSD goes away. And it turns out that wasn't helpful. Right. She's not on any meds. She is not, well, she's on Zyrtec, but outside of Zyrtec, she's not on any meds. Wow. That's awesome. Leta. Oh my gosh. Bravo, bravo, bravo. I'm, oh my gosh, that is so great. That is, see, because people, certain people that I, um, you know, when we do this work and everything, it's like, it's like a automatic well, meds, meds, meds. And I actually made this into a post. And I, because I got a lot of, or enough pushback from even kids, I would say from different ages. Like, oh, I wish I was, I was on meds even younger, and if it wasn't for meds, I would've never been able to graduate high school. So, and I said in the post, I said, look, if there is no abuse at home, no abuse, there's no violence, abuse, chaos, dysfunction, then okay, meds, I guess can have their place. To a certain degree, but if there is abuse, violence, chaos, dysfunction, no amount of medication is going to help the situation. None. Not even a drop. So establish that there's no abuse, because if there's abuse, you have to correct that. And that means you either get removed from that toxic home life, or those parents and stepparents need to be removed from your life. And that way you can get on the road to healing. Um, so, uh, wow, Leta, I'm so proud of you. Oh my gosh. This is so great to hear. So great to hear. And with your permission, I'm going to use you, I mean, I'm not gonna say your name or anything, but I'm gonna say, look, I interviewed with a mom and a daughter. The daughter's autistic, the, and she's not on any meds except for one, and she is functioning, she has a dance studio. She, she, uh, she goes to school. She is, and she's got no meds, practically no meds, and she's doing it. So don't tell me that. You have to medicate yourself and numb yourself. Oh my gosh, Leta, you're so awesome. I, I will say having severe A DHD along with my autism. One thing I found out later in life from her, uh, developmental pediatrician whose son went cold Turkey like I did on the meds, um, he was like, yeah, it turns out occupational therapy gives you the building blocks to deal with your A DHD. The meds just mask everything. Yes, yes. Excellent. famous as alus makes your brain go. Hello? Yes. How about we just go kill ourself and give explain that real quick? Um, because. the A DHD brain fires so quickly, the meds actually suppress the firing, which causes, uh, damage to the internal organs because they're used to getting that. Um. Right away. And so you are not meaning to go off yourself, it's just your body is now slowing down like you're aging faster, which is probably one of the reasons autistic and A DHD, uh, women and men have a shorter lifespan than their neurotypical counterparts. Um, the lifespan of women on medicine is 40 years less than their neurotypical counterparts. And it's like something's wrong here die quicker on those myths. You can quicker on those myths. You can ta. that stop that. She's kind of anti the mes because they don't tell you this. Like, I've talked to friends of mine who've been on the meds since they're adults, and I'm like, you do know that that's slowing down not just your metabolism, but like your heart rate. And they're like, no one told me it was slowing down my heart. Wow, this is so great. Oh my gosh, Amanda. Wow. See you. Oh, you and Leta, I'm gonna use you as proof. Um, I'm actually, uh, I know a few people close. They're, they're close to myself and, uh, and, uh, they, they insist, you know, Sabrina, you don't know what you're talking about, are our kids. They need to be on meds. Uh, they have a DHD and they, they, um, the meds are helping. Meanwhile, the one, the one child, she's uh, 13 and she's been on meds a few years, and I could see it's, it's, it's making her, I don't wanna say the word, like just. Unintelligent. She was intelligent before and now, and it breaks my heart because, and it's the parents that are abusive. That's what, that's what it is. The parents are abusive and they're using the meds to numb their children. So that way they're more agreeable and more, um, more, uh, this is what I think because I'm standing on the outside and I'm seeing it happen and they won't listen. And it's the parents that need to do the work, they need to do, do the work on themselves because they're ruining perfectly normal children. Yes. Children, yes. Maybe they're a little slower. I don't even like to use that word. They're just learning on a different level. And this girl. She's very intelligent, she's very strong in math and science, whereas on other areas like I guess language arts or, you know, she's a little, she needs help, extra help, who doesn't need extra help. Um, but they have her on all of these drugs and I get upset and I, I made the child aware 'cause she's very dear to my heart. And um, and the parents obviously got upset and Oh my gosh. And oh my gosh, I'm so glad I'm talking to you because you're proof. a lot of the neurotypical parents also don't understand their neurodivergent kid is physically different than them. Um, we have now, the brain scans are coming out now in the last two years. And our brains, it's not that they fire differently, they are made differently. These meds are made for neurotypical people. They're made for a totally different brain. Wow. See. But there's been no testing on ignoring the fact that there was no testing on children. We're giving the meds to kids who, these drugs have all been tested on 30 plus year old white men. Um, but a lot of these parents, 'cause I know one thing my parents have always said is, well, we didn't know any better. We didn't research it ourselves. And I'm like, I'm not a big fan of Dr. Google, but she had a, um, shot she was getting and um, the nurse said, if something happens, give her Tylenol for, uh, the reaction. And I'm like, you do under, have you ever read the booklet? And the nurse was like, what do you mean? And I'm like, if I give her Tylenol, it will negate the shot because it will stop the reaction and make it where the shot you just gave her for a very important disease. I don't want her to have, she is not going to. Yeah. Yeah. And the nurse just looked at me and started flipping through it and she's like, oh my gosh. This is what I always tell parents when I'm giving the varella shot is. And I'm like, she already, she's had her MMR shot. I'm not a fan of mumps, measles, rebellious. So she has had that MMR shot'cause I don't want her to get it. She is not inoculated against measles because it just didn't take and um, which is always fun to explain to people, no, she is vaccinated, she's just not inoculated. There's two separate sides. wow. And a lot of parents don't go into the medical. They suddenly get this diagnosis. They don't realize that it's a medical thing with autism, with A DHD, there's also GI problems that everyone has. The, um, do talk about that. Boys have an 82% chance of developing grand mal seizures. Girls have a like greater than 60% chance of developing silent seizures. Most of these guys are getting their diagnosis from a general practitioner who got one week on what autism was maybe. And I'm like, I'm not taking my dog to a veterinarian who does not understand, uh, the meds that the dog needs to be on. Why am I taking my child to a doctor? And you'll notice a lot of these parents, I'm like, did you go to the developmental pediatrician? Did you go to the behavioral psychiatrist? Did you go to the neuro neurological pediatrician? And they're like, no, I didn't do that. And I'm like, why didn't you go to the specialist? And they're like, oh, I didn't know there was a specialist for this. And I'm like, are you? Why did you put your child on earth if you're not gonna for this thing, like you can't, why did you put it on earth last time I took your child thing to, why did you put it on earth? Jesus always these people acting like see Right. people get farm that dunno how to use farming and farm for livestock. It don't even know how they go Livestock. There are people who know how to take care of horses and yet get a horse anyways. it's all related. It's all related. It's almost if you have to be your own doctor and educate the doctors, the nurses, the, the therapists, the school, the teachers, the, you have to do your own work and educate them in order to get the care that you need. And, and I have to say, you're probably better off it, it and you're edu I mean, you're certainly educating me and I, and. And, uh, like it sounds like you are so, um, in tune to what's going on with, with Leta, and it's helping others who are lost and, uh, and they need help. You know, they need tools and, uh, you know, why should your kid be an experiment that this is not I, I don't think a lot of people understand that their kids are experiments. They're like, oh, well this is a drug that the pharmacist even gave me, so it should be safe. And it's like we. You know, I was put on Paxil as a child, and now you would never put a child on Paxil. Right. I know, I know, right? What, what they used to do years and years ago after studies and more research, they won't even do, I, I can't tell you Leta, how proud I am you and your mom. My goodness. That you only, you're only on one med and, and, you're basically. You're yourself, you know, you're not like, numb and a zombie and like,'cause then you'll have to, as you get older, you'll have to like, it's like going through withdrawals and, and a, uh, addiction, you know, and it's crazy 'cause other countries don't do this to their parents. I'm Italian and in Italy, they would never drug their kid. I mean, it's, you know, they're, they're like, Sabrina, this is just, is that like, we hear, is it true? And I'm like, oh yeah, it's true. This is what they're doing here in the states. And, and you know, um, I love leader. She's doing this. That's Italian. She's doing this, she's talking like this. common, uh, autism and neurotypical thing or neurodivergent also a very common thing in New Mexico just because everybody likes doing it. And the Latinos. And the Latinos, That's so great. I saw her do It and I'm like, oh my gosh. She, she's, she's Italian. She's gotta be Italian. She is, uh, not, name does make people wonder though. That's so great. Um, gosh, you, you're doing so great. Um, I, I, I, I, I, I, I want to continue, continue this conversation 'cause I feel like, uh, saw the time. Is there a way we can have you back on the podcast in a few months to Sure, yeah, definitely. Definitely. And, and I'm so, uh, uh, um, I feel like I, I hope I provided, uh, education, but I, I feel like I got so educated and, and my eyes opened to, you know, people really need to, um. It's, it all boils down to respect, you know, and boundaries and everything. And, and good for you. ELeta. Good for you. Good for you and your mom. You know, you stood your ground and now you have this podcast and your, your dance studio and, uh, yes, definitely. We're definitely gonna come back in a couple of months. Um, I already notated it, um, for a return episode, part two and, uh, We may have to have a part three or part four or part five, 'cause this is a very in-depth topic. yeah, and a necessary one. So necessary. Um, Sabrina, where can they find Oso safe on the web? Yes. Uh, our website, isso safe.com. We're on all the major social media platforms. Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram. The two platforms that are just for kids is the YouTube and TikTok. I think it's under Sabrina Oso, uh, Oso Safe. It, it'll come up. We dedicate it to kids of all ages, teeny tiny, through high school. And we talk about abuse, we talk about warning signs. We talk about what makes a, a positive friendship, a positive relationship, um, how to protect yourself if you're getting bullied, uh, what are some tips that you could put into practice right away. Um, and then, uh, the children's book is on Amazon as well as other book selling platforms. But those are the best ways to, uh, to reach out. And Leta, before we hang up, I wanna know, do you have a favorite tap step? Mm, It's okay. You don't. Okay. That's okay. That's okay. We did put wing snuck wings into her studio name and I have to explain that to people 'cause they're like, oh, like butterfly wings.'cause the logo's a butterfly. And I'm like, it's also tap. That's right, that's right. The wings. Yes. Yes. Very good. Very good. I like um, I like the shim sham, the, the shim sham, uh, step and, and, and tap and uh, uh, uh, uh, I take flamenco as well, you know, so they go hand in hand the tap with the flamenco and everything. Do you, do you take flamenco has not, since we've moved away I am Rusty. since you moved away from New Mexico? Yeah. haven't done it since I was seven. Oh wow. Well, I'm sure you'll go back to it and you could include it in your, in your, uh, in your dance studio. You know? So, so, and then you could get shoes from, uh, Menkes. Manke in New York. M-E-N-K-E-S. They have everything flamenco, everything. Shoes, skirts, uh, the tops, the everything. Looking at me, or you can just go right Santa Fe ballet's costuming room. I'm sure they won't notice. I am pretty sure. I don't know this, pretty sure I don't know might, we might need to have you on just for an entire discussion on dance one of these days. would love that. I would love that. We could do that. We could totally do that. Yes. Yes. And I love those tap shoes, girl. Ooh. I love them. They are awesome. I never saw tap shoes like that, let me tell you. Yeah. Um, uh, the colors, the, the, um, the block colors and the, I I love it. I love it. They did an amazing job and they designed that, uh, heart puzzle embroidery was, uh, surprised. She's the only one they've done that for because it's supposed to show that they love their little autistic dancer. Awesome. Awesome. That is so great. And to have that support and that understanding and respect, that is so good. And that's how it should be, you know, it's, it can be done, it can be done because it is being done. So That is so great. Oh, this, this was so great. it was amazing having you on, Sabrina. Thank you For coming. Did you wanna say something? ALeta? This is an hour now. You might my little producer. It went by so fast. It went by so fast. I can't even believe it. We started on time. Yes. This was so much fun. This was so will make sure. we are definitely gonna have you back again Um, we will have the link in the description below and on the. website. Thank you so much, Sabrina. Thank you. Thank you, Leta. Thank you, Amanda. This was so great. bye. Okay, well thank you for watching the podcast and please subscribe and also look at the Adorable, don't You watch, subscribe Forward and also please like, and don't pick it if you'll to us, if you'll miss any of our new podcast. And also you see the Adorable, don't you like it?

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Amanda Trisdale

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Leta Rundell

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