Turning Grief Into Art: Faith Jacobs’ Journey with Autism, Neurodiversity, and Mozart

Author Faith Jacobs shares how writing about a neurodivergent Mozart helped her heal from grief and embrace her own autism. We discuss mental health, authentic representation, and the power of storytelling to inspire and connect.

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And what makes, what made it so interesting to me was he was surrounded by disability and I wanted a story that finally for once, didn't just tackle him as just the composer or just, you know, or, or treated like, like a child, you know, in this, in this very infantalized childlike manner. As much as I love Amadeus. All right, Leta, are you ready to introduce the podcast? I am Leta Dad's my mom. Dad's human being life. And that is her introduction to the podcast. Faith, we're so excited to have you on the show today. I have a minor problem when I introduce guest, uh, artificial intelligent, uh, machines. Think I am a robot and I am just completely ai. So I was wondering if you could introduce yourself, uh, so we don't get part as AI created. Sure ob. Sure, of course. So, hello everybody. My name is Faith Jacobs. I am an author, an actress. A director of audio dramas. I'm kind of a one woman army. Everything, uh, you name it. I've probably done it in the last, at least eight years of my career. Um, I am primarily a neurodivergent creator, so I create neurodivergent led media with neurodivergent actors, um, usually at the helm of the cast. And, um, I write, uh, neurodivergent stories. So you can probably find my works anywhere from Amazon to Spotify. I was a web tune creator, and of course, I will plug that I have a red bubble, so there's even neurodivergent, uh, friendly merch that you can purchase, um, for your own self-advocacy. And that's, uh, that's a little bit about about me. I should mention in the background,'cause you're saying this, but uh, anyone listening on. The podcast streaming services or watching this on YouTube is not, she's just taking videos of her dog. dog is in a chair and she's taking videos of, oh, pictures. I'm sorry. She's taking pictures of the dog. I mean everything about you. I could, we are gonna have to have you all multiple times 'cause you have such an exciting neurodivergent life. But, um, I wanted to ask you, I have a DHD. Do not distract the person with a DH. All good. good. There are so many things interesting about you. Obviously, I wanted to talk if you're okay about your novel 'cause that like totally seemed interesting to me. um, I have two on my shelf. I can, I can go and grab them if you'd like me to, to bring them, um, just to show, just to show them once. Yeah. One second. Let me, bring him on to show. Mm-hmm. So I have three here, um, of my novels, and I have, uh, two more that are in the mail on the way tomorrow, unfortunately. Um, otherwise I would show those off too. Um, I have written, uh, a play. Now, I will say for anyone who's listening to this, this play is not for younger readers under the age of 18. Um, it deals with intense mental health based on the real words and real life of an actual person. It's called Interviewing Steven Haggard. Um, and the living son of, of this man actually wrote the Forward from my book. So I give a shout out of course to to Professor Haggard, um, all the way in London. So that's one of my novels. But I think the series that we most wanna talk about, um, is my neurodivergent led. Mozart series, and I will show off Book one here. Um, it's massive as you can see, but that is for those with a vision difficulties. Um, and that is, that's the first book, that's my author's copy, and this is my author's copy of, um, book two as well. Um, loves enduring Symphony. So, uh, and, uh, go ahead, Indo. Ask away. Question why Mozart? Well, you know, um, I often ask myself that, so that, that question too strangely because, um, of all the things, so when I began my, it sort of goes back to, to the, the beginnings of my creative career. In 2020, I began with an original, um, series called Chaotic Idiots. At the height of the pandemic and in 2022, and I, I do, I mean, I suppose trigger warning for some grief and some loss. Um, a friend, I, I lost a friend, uh, sadly to, to terminal brain cancer, um, at the age of 22. She was, she was no older than I was at the time. And, uh, following that, I, I fell into probably the greatest depression I had ever fallen into since the pandemic had sort of, kind of ended, come to a sea. You know, there was a lull in, in things. And, um, and I experienced a, a tremendous tumultuous time of grief after she had passed in February of 2022. And I didn't create anything for the longest time. And then it just so happened that, that following. Following fall of, uh, um, 2022, I was on a podcast with a friend of mine, Jack Morby, and he had said to me that if there was any character that he wanted to play on stage, it would've been Mozart from Amadeus. And, um, he said that he wanted to play him because he really felt that Mozart was autistic like he was. And so it led into this whole like three years of research into reading Mozart's, um, Mozart books and letters and documents. I read an interview with his wife. I have the original biography written by his wife, Constanza. So I suppose to answer your question, why Mozart? Um, when I learned how Mozart had passed away and how, and, and I had learned the, um, the story of his wife. Grief over him. It resonated with me 'cause I was still in that place of, I've just lost my friend. Um, and I, and, uh, a lot of things happened around me that were very, um, sad. I, I lost a lot of friends and relationships at that point in my life. And I started writing Mozart and I really thought, ironically, I thought it was gonna be the last book I ever wrote.'cause I was diagnosed with a, a vision, um, condition that same year as well. I lost a friend, lost lots of friends who decided to, you know, just no longer be in my life. And then on top of struggling with, uh, a vision disorder that nobody could tell me what was wrong. Um, it became. It became the most important series to me because it got me through the grief I was facing and ended up being very cathartic to write. Um, and it also showed me that grief is something that doesn't just end after a year. So, um, I hope that answers the question. It was a lot of things happened, you know, with this project it does. Um, with Mozart, 'cause you touched on this, uh, he had mental health issues and he had them. We've gotten better with mental health. I won't say we're, you can say that into your microphone. A, you are a liar. B, you are a liar. C. Scientifically, yes. The way everybody interacts with people with mental health problems. No. So scientifically, yes. Society wise, hell no. Very well she has opinions that I won't disagree with. I'm Um. I know I'm right. You know I'm right. They know I'm right. Everybody knows I'm right. not wrong. You're, you're not wrong. There are, there are, there is still stigmatization, I would say. And the third book, which I don't have on me actually does tackle, um, the way that mental health and disabilities were treated in these 17 hundreds. Mozart himself was somebody who probably dealt with depression and anxiety and maybe even levels of A DHD and autism combined on top of other sorts of disabilities. And what makes, what made it so interesting to me was he was surrounded by disability and I wanted the story that finally for once, didn't just tackle him as just the composer or just, you know, or, or treated like, like a child, you know, in this, in this very infantalized childlike manner. As much as I love AM day as. I wanted something that finally tackled Mozart, the man and Mozart the human more specifically, and tackled him in more of a, a day-to-day setting where we see him having social interactions and struggling as was recorded by so many people who knew him, that he just missed things or that he, he acts what we would consider in, you know, what society would consider in, in inappropriate ways, but were probably the result of his own neuro divergencies. There. You hit on one thing I wanted to touch on. Um, there's a lot of ization of autistic people portray, not just portrayed in the media, but in real life. And like you said, a lot of time Mozart or even like I have a physics doctorate, the way we talk about Einstein or any of the guys who were working on the, um. Manhattan project. You hear them talk about, oh, well they had to have someone that actually sat there and told them to eat. Mm-hmm. And that when it gets into modern cul media culture, it does get treated. Not like the neurodivergent issue. It is for all of us.'cause I will admit, there are days I forget to eat who needs to eat when you're in the middle of trying to do a project. Oh, Yep. this, this the thing. You had the thing you had person, the thing you had me, me, me. I know where the food is? I have to not eat, so she will eat. It's a good chunk of time. I was proud of her. um, but you have things you forget when you're in the groove too, kiddo. I'm the same way. I'm, I'm guilty of this too. And, uh, when I, I, you know, it's, it was said that, that for Mozart that like he had to be chased away from the piano, otherwise he might not rest. So it, when you, when you pick up the novels again, the, I I would say that they're rated 18 plus. I aim them at adults only because of the mental health aspects. Only because of some of the relationships, um, that I tackle. You know, uh, I mean they are consenting adults in a consenting adult relationship. Um, nothing explicit for any listeners out there who are interested in faithfully yours. Mozart. Um, this is not Bridger, but it is, I would say it is bridgeton for the Neurodivergence with a little bit more tame on things that, uh, don't always need to be in books. So for, for you book talk, people who are going to say, what's the spice meter? It's zero. It's zero. Let me tell you, it doesn't exist. Ask me either. learn. Not right now. Yeah. Uh, it's How much of the love story is more than you Yeah. And it's absolutely zero. You, you could honestly read this and you wouldn't, you wouldn't know what's going on in the intimate scenes.'cause um, it's not important. But that's just my, that's just me. That's just me. When talking about stuff like this, we should probably have a meter of how accurate it is to what happened back then with the mental health. I mean, 'cause I went, go ahead. I was just thinking, because when I talked to people about like how therapies were in the eighties and the nineties, or even how they were when she went through therapies as a young kid, they're like, oh my God, you should have a trigger warning on this. And it's like, uh, no. That's just kind of how we all went through it. So So how are you people getting triggers? You didn't go through it. You people didn't go through it. You people didn't get terrible, terrible mental health because of it. You people are flying in your blame. We're not. We're the ones bad mental health because of it. You people mean warning, even the people. Oh, the, yeah, that happened. I forget that happened. I put that so, so, so, so, so, so, so deep in the freaking cage under the ocean to never remember it ever again. So sorry. My trauma apparently is your trauma now because I had trauma, apparently me having trauma traumatizes you, I'm so sorry, so sorry. So sorry. You had a nice, beautiful life and we just had trauma so. So she had some bad thera uh, speech and a b, a therapist. If you can't tell. No, I'm totally, I'm very, very, as an advocate in the arts, um, I'm very much against a, b, a therapy. I believe that it is. I believe because I, I think I mentioned to you in our, our pre-talk, I, I was, I was missed, so I. I was not, um, I, I did not go through any of that, but I have read enough horror stories to know that it's not good. Um, it's not good at all. Majority of the time, nine times outta 10, it is, it is basically teaching, you know, the child how to, um, how to mask to the point where it's unhealthy and they're just gonna hit burnout and they're not gonna be able to function in society at all. Happy STEMI hands. We're allowed to, we're allowed to, um, you know. Jimmy hands are good. Yeah, no, uh, she was in a, b, a for a whole five weeks because her developmental pediatrician was like, no, no. They've promised me it's changed. And when I called him up. me not liking pizza was such a big deal, but it was apparently me being a healthy baby. They did not want the penalty. They wanted a very unhealthy baby. So her texture issue, real quick to explain this for food is she doesn't like junk food. And she had a speech therapist who was like, well, we are going to force her to eat junk food. And I'm like, see, lemme explain. That is not important. I mean, I would say that's fine. She wants, she likes healthy food. She has, I have texture problems myself. And uh, and uh, that's, that is the strangest thing that I've ever heard. And, and why, why would you not encourage someone to, to eat, you know, the foods that they are happy eating. We all have same foods. Even I have same foods. Because it's different. had this one therapist where that wasn't even anywhere near the therapy, which I was doing, and he asked me if. He told me to think about my favorite type of pizza and I said, I don't like pizza. And he was like, how do you not like pizza? And I went, I don't like pizza because I don't like the texture. And he went, but you can't not like pizza. You are American, right? And I went, yes, but I don't like pizza. And I grew up in cruises, New Mexico. There aren't no pizza places there. And he went, are you are immigrant? And I went, no, I'm American. And he went, you can't be AER again. You don't like pizza. And I, me not liking pizza, make me not American back. Get back to the book and, Yeah. Sorry. It's all right and um, so I, I, it has gotten better. That's the sad thing is she doesn't understand. It has gotten better since the Mozart stuff. Um. yes. You are dealing with a, she's like, eh, it was actually worse with Yes, the dealing with, there, uh, I would say when I, when I did my research, um, if you are f if anyone is familiar with the, uh, the Queen Charlotte um, TV series, there is a section where King George who did have mental health problems, our history aside with King George, he really did suffer from, from some mental, um, in, in inhibitions that really are quite sad when you look at him not as the enemy of the revolution, but as the man that he was. And you look at his story, his real story with Charlotte, um, the Madison of King George is not a comedy, it's a tragedy to me. Um, I actually cried watching that because what they would do and. It still happens today. So trigger warning for this, but, uh, restraint, I mean, they, someone like Mozart if, and, and I am amazed that we don't have letters or, you know, or anything really in reality to say that, you know, he was, he did go to, he did have some kind of mental health treatment and what, I don't know how to, how to explain this, but in the third novel, when I tackle Vienna General, which was the very first hospital in Austria, um, in the, in the late 17 hundreds, um, Mozart undergoes historical barbaric treatment, um, for mental illness. They would dunk him in ice water. They did. Ironically, the precursor to Charles Darwin, um, his great, his so many great-great-great grandfather was responsible for rotational therapy in the 17 hundreds. And that's exactly what it sounds like. They strap you to a chair and they just, they spin you around until you, um, you hurl, you throw up, you vomit you. It's like the things that they would do. I mean, they would burn and bruise his legs. They would use leeches. Um, they would isolate and starve these people. And in Bethlehem Hospital, they would, uh, they would chain them to walls and show them off to patrons in the street as if they were circus freaks. And, um, this was all headed by, really by John, John Monroe, who was a real doctor who treated, um, king George and also was responsible for Bedlam Hospital. Um, it's called Bethlem, but it was, but it's really bedlam, uh, in. In, in London. And so I based, um, this entirety of the mental health arc in book three on real research of the kinds of torturous things. I mean, people were known to die un under these and Mozart, uh, being so frail and so tiny. And so he was born, I think, very sickly. Um, in reality, if the story hadn't gone the way it would've gone, someone like Mozart would've probably died under the kinds of conditions that they were subjecting him to, including restraint and, um, and very cruel corporal punishments that, uh, in order that they called their progressive treatments. I mean, they would flog patients, you know. So it is, I did not shy away. I actually had a sensitivity reader, um, in my, one of my friends, Aaron Ralph.'cause I, I said to him, I sent, I sent those pages to him and said, Aaron, I said, what do you think? And he goes, I think it's completely accurate and I think we need this. Um, so he was the first person to see it before it went fully into the book. Um, and I had, I had confirmation that I was historically accurate, more so than I think anyone, I've never shied away from anything to do with, um, the way those with disabilities and mental health were treated. Um, even in chaotic, it's the series I tackle meltdowns, um, in realistic ways that are often have been, uh, praised by peers and, uh, fellow listeners alike. That's, that is one thing that, um, 'cause I've studied a lot of the King George stuff and I'm not a hundred percent sure he didn't go quote unquote insane just because of all the treatment he was getting. Um, these were not. These are the treatments we're basing today's treatments on. And I think a lot of these parents who are out there arguing, well, this is what's best for my child. And those of us who are arguing going, you don't understand. I think a lot of times some of those therapists are even hiding what they're doing from the parents, and that's why we're having some of the arguments we're having today. trust therapist, and this is why a good chunk of human beings have trust issues. They say you have no reason when you have all the reasons in the world and the trauma. Yeah, it is. So that's why I say faithfully or is Mozart for as much as, um, not, not every scene is, is, is an intense, dramatic scene like that. Of course, there are moments with his relationship to his, his wife or his relationship to the friends that he has around him, you know, um, or it's him and, you know, they, they have sweet moments like it, it's a very well-rounded series, but when moments of, of his mental health do come up, you know, I, I crafted it in such a way that that could have happened. I never say it did. I only say it could have happened. What didn't we see in between the letters? The letters are the basis, but what happened? You know, when, when, when the Quill is down, what, what happened when he wasn't composing, you know, what was he doing? So it's really a series that it's like, if you'd like to watch a, a series about mos of the composer, I can name you 15 of those. You know, there's a couple coming out even this year. But if you won a series that goes through Mozart as the man behind the music and the mental health and the neurodivergent struggles that he maybe he faced, um, that's what my series is. I am not a hundred percent sure you can learn about Mozart the composer without learning about Mozart, the man behind it. I know Leta has had so many dance teachers go, I wanna separate you from your autism. I want you to not think of yourself as autistic. Go ahead, go off on that one. I don't know when I went RIP.'cause technically to make me not autistic, you would have to take out my brain. So I dunno. When I went RIP and had the brain in drug, but you get some point in time when RIP and. I understand. So, uh, but yeah, the, the ones that are out there and there are, you know, like you said, tons of Mozart, Mozart, the composer, but they ignore what made Mozart, Mozart. And that neurodiversity makes all of us Yes. They almost, they almost, in a way like. They only, they only highlight his achievements. It's like, you can't separate him from his music. I always have him writing or composing or, you know, he's engaging in, in, uh, somebody once said, oh, was music Mozart's hyper fixation? And I'm like, probably. Um, and, uh, which is a great way to think about it. But, uh, it was, um, my, my thought is, is always, but they never, they never talk about Mozart and his relationships or Mozart and his social difficulties. There's a great article, it's actually in French, I translated it to, to English, but Mozart had little oddities, um, little, uh, little stimming. He, if he had a napkin in his hand, he would wipe his face, his, his sister-in-law know this over and over and over again. You know, kind of that repetitive repetition, maybe a little bit of OCD or. Or maybe that was a stem. Like he, you know, he, the more you read into his neurodivergent tendencies, the more you see even in his music. There's olo, there's echo in Mozart's music and even in his operas has, I mean, have you watched the magic flutes? Yeah. Not only have I watched it, I was a flute player and had to play that and yeah, that man was autistic. Let's just be Yes. If you, if you watch the abduction from the Lio and you watch the magic flutes, the, his autistic tendencies are there and no, you know, which is my favorite song, and it makes me happy. I'm like, why does this make me smile? Because, you know, I feel like his autistic self is just infused in the, in the Papano, uh, song. which you don't completely understand his composing unless you're like, yeah, that dude was neurodivergent and the rest of us are just like, that makes so much sense. does. So that was, that was partially why I began pursuing Mozart was I was coming out of a, a place of, of grief. And, and at times it also allowed me to authentically explore, I think, autism in adults in a way that nobody has dared to explore, which is not in the modern sense, but in the sense of history. Because when you look in history, you can smash a lot of people in the modern day who say, Hey, autism's a 21st century problem. No, it's not. It's been here. We just didn't have a name for it. I, oh, I muted myself. Okay. I'm gonna be the crazy person who spent way too much time researching this. 1908. The first mention of autism in a medical journal was 1908 in Germany. So guys. And they called it, um, at the time, I don't even think it was called autism before that it wasn't called autism. They actually called it, um, childhood schizophrenia is what they used to call autism. Um, there is a whole history to that too, and a very dark history too with Germany and uh, and autism. And uh, that's something that I'm eventually going to explore, I hope, in a novel because nobody's done that either. Um, and the number of people who are like A DHD is a 21st century thing. I will give you that. A DHD did not show up until the 1990s, but a DD, uh, showed up. Sir Creon was writing about it while he was seeing some patient named King George ii. So. And I mean, we sit there, it's, it's like, it's like if you say that, then ultimately it's, it's like saying that cancer didn't exist before we had the correct screenings for it. No, it, it did. And there were surgeons back in the 17 hundreds, so you used to treat breast cancer and, and all the other kinds of cancers that we have in today's society, they were still there. You cannot blame, you know, modern society and modern pollution and all this and that when cancer was already a, a, a disease, you know, and, and, uh, I mean obviously we wouldn't have the kinds of surgeries that we do if it weren't for the progressive. The unfortunate progressive era of the 17 hundreds. But I, I feel like in today's society, in on top of everything from neurodiversity to surgical procedures, to even the foods that we eat, everything that you have has a basis in the past, and we don't talk about it enough. Um, somebody once tried to discourage me a little bit, um, with diagnosing history, um, his historical figures of the past, and I went, well, why? I mean, Pluto, Pluto has always been a planet, even though we, we discovered on the planet they reclassified it, it's still a plant. I don't care. Um, Pluto existed, I'm pretty sure before, you know, uh, before it was named, gravity existed before Sir Isaac Newton figured it out. Everything existed before you gave it a name. When you're given a name, ultimately, therefore it, it, it comes into existence. That's not true, and that's why I'm championing, um, I'm being a champion for disability in history, not starting with Mozart and going on to such cases like Henry Godfried Bach, who was the oldest son of Johann Sebastian Bach, who was, had profound autism and wrote beautiful music. I'm the only one who is going after that stuff. Mm. I am pretty sure Isaac Newton had autism. Uh, he definitely was being treated by doctors who were treating a DD at the time, so I'm just saying, Madame Carey. I'm just saying no neurotypical person would be saying would be insane. Enough to eat the glowing green stuff. No sane person would eat the glowing green stuff. No. Same person would eat the same. Mme. Curry ate the radioactive material yes, of course. Yes. It has been said that Madam Curre was, uh, was said to be maybe autistic herself. I've even heard they've said possibly even Jane Austen could have been autistic. And I mean, Mr. Darcy. Hello. And I mean, yeah, no, and the Bronte sisters definitely had something going on with them as much as they were writing about Oh yes, just lock the crazy woman up in the house. But, um, one of the things that's interested me about the book is you are looking at adult relationships with not just, you know, um, romantic adult relationships. A lot of the. Adult discussion with autism centers around late diagnosed, like diagnosed in their forties and fifties. It's not being centered around everyone who was diagnosed pre 21 and how um, we were dealing with it. But even then it's kind of like, oh, this explains all of my relationship issues. Um, but looking into relationships are hard when you're neurodiverse, especially when you're dealing with neurotypical people. They just don't think the same way we do. How has the reception been to showing a neurodiverse person having typical relation, well, typical is not the right word, but Well, you know, it's, it's interesting to me because, um, I honestly encountered a lot of opposition with the Faithfully yours Mozart series. I had someone decide to call it, uh, Mozart fan fiction and you know who you are. Um, but they, they did, they uh, they decided to call it a Mozart fan fiction. Um, and lots of other names under the book that I will not say just 'cause it was just unkind. Um, but to, to the, to the few who have read it, um, I have been told that like. Aaron Aaron Ralph, who voices Mozart for the, uh, for the audio book version that we are currently working on, um, would honestly sit there and tell you that my work is very human and you're never going to read anything. I mean, even my books are about non-human characters are very human, and I can't, I can't write anything any other way. I have gotten beautiful. Um, a friend of mine was listening to the show and, and she was like, I am relating to Mozart so much because of the way that I've ridden his, his relationships, his friendships, um, his enemies, his allies, the people who just didn't like him. You know, I, I've always been very lucky to, sorry. I've always been very, I've always been very lucky to, um, to have a good support, um, system of creative artists around me who are also neurodivergent, who understand. And so if I'm getting any sort of feedback, I'm getting it from them. Um, and they 'cause 'cause they have their own traumas and their own experiences that were negative. And I sort of, with my media, I champion voicing that. So Mozart, uh, for example, there's a scene in Book one where Constanza wants to take Mozart away from his work for the night and take him out to dance. And he's like, well, let me finish my work and then we'll go and do this. And he turns. He turns away and she mistakes him for being called towards her. And he's like, I don't understand what just happened. I said that I would go, you know, and, and he, you know, and, and they, they kind of have a little bit of a tris, not a tris. They have a little bit of a scuffle. They have, they have a, they have a verbal scuffle and, and Constand just sits there and, and she sort of calls him out on it. But even when they fight, um, it's never, it's never about them sort of like, oh, now we're gonna have some drama and we're gonna get mad at each other. She's fighting for him because somebody actually, in my comment section on my YouTube had suggested, well, what if Constanza was autistic herself? And we just don't know it. And. It's entirely possible that she was some form of neurodivergent herself as well. And the reason why she understood Mozart best is because, you know, she was a, she was an autistic or a neurodivergent woman of some of, some spectrum in her era, similar to Austin. And so their relationship really is about, you know, Constan has learned to sort of like mask and survive as girls, uh, us as we girls often do, um, learn to survive and mask, you know, world's not built for us. And he is kind of sitting there li like, I don't understand why this person hates me and that person hates me, but you don't hate me. And that doesn't make any sense. And, you know, and so they, they help each other, they both learn sort of like their flaws, their, their. Their, their flaws, their faults, their weaknesses, their difficulties, and she does, she, she doesn't infantalize him. She only helps him, and he learns eventually from her how to stand up for himself. Which is an amazing story. Um, 'cause there are so many people, even today I know all my friends who've tried, I like to call them mixed relationships, where they're like, I'm gonna go date someone who's neurotypical. I'm like, have fun with that. I'll just be married to my Neurodiverse husband. We kind of are on the same wavelength I will just say this. Neurodivergent and neurodivergent relationships work out. Good example. My parents. You were saying Amanda. is meant for neuro. Yeah. Uh, AI is meant for neurotypical people and she doesn't understand that, nor does ai. Um, I noticed all my friends who are in those mixed relationships, neurodivergent and neurotypical, they tend to have more buddings of heads'cause the neurotypical person doesn't understand how their mind works. And there are times my husband and I will have it out, but I'm like, yeah, I just hate your autism. It is just not the flavor I need it to be today. And I, and, and I agree. It's, it's like the, honestly, the, the, the best relationships as far as like friendships that I've ever had were with those who were on a similar neurodivergent wavelength to me, I get along well with, with those who have a DHD and autism or are both, you know, um, more than I ever got along with my neurotypical peers. And if it's, I mean, if it's any clarity, the people who left after my friend. Passed away were those who were neurotypical, you know, and they didn't understand that, you know, that the kinds of needs that I needed was not the way a typical person experiences grief. We experienced grief so differently, and it's something that I've debated talking about, you know, once I was at a place where I could, um, and I am, I am sort of now, but it's one of those things too that I wanted to tackle with faithfully. ORs Mozart was I knew from reading, you know, it's so funny where their romance begins is Mozart doesn't say, oh, I fell in love with her because she was so pretty. He says, I fell in love with her because of her kind heart. And I thought, that's so strange. Why is in every Mozart romance movie about him and Constanza falling in love? Where they always cliche, bring in a, a loisa, uh, the older sister to sort of break up or have problems with them. I always sit there and go, why did these authors miss that Mozart said that he fell for stanzas kind heart? And it's because it's not. And my friend and Aaron, Aaron said to me, because it's not a neurotypical thing, that is the way we as autistics tend to fall in love. We are, we value kindness, we value honesty, we value empathy, compassion, and all these different things that in the way, the way that neurodivergence tend to fall in love. And that's just based on my experience too, um, is, is that, um, but, and so when I honed in on that, the whole relationship. Had a foundation and a basis. They weren't based on shallow material looks or possessions or, what can you give me? It was, you've been kind to me, you've taken care of me. You know, and, and so that was, that became their, their love language in the story. My husband's and my first date was he asked me to go out with him. He's a geologist, uh, by, um, education. And he is like, hi, you wanna go out with me to go get some ash from the site of a mountain for one of the papers I'm writing? And my dad keeps saying that she fell for him because he had the Jeep and she keeps saying, that's not the reason. We just let your father think that. He keeps saying it was because of the Jeep. She keeps saying it wasn't because of the Jeep. I dunno what it was. It There were a bunch, we were in college. There were a bunch of neurotypical girls who wanted to date him, but they didn't want to go out in the field and go spend 12 hours picking up dirt. Mm. That's fun. But then But that's, by my father. the difference between neurotypical, like neurotypical relationships do not seem to be based off of, will you come out with me to go look at Oh yeah. It's the old, it's the old adage of, uh, of a let's get coffee. You know? Neurotypical says, let's get coffee. They mean we're, we're never having contact. Neurodivergent says, let's get coffee. That means, all right, I expect you at the dawn of 9:00 AM. Um. And I have an aunt who also is neurodivergent and we're the same way. So, uh, that, you know, it's, it's, it's much different when, uh, when, when you and your aunt are on the same wavelength. It's like, yeah, let's go get coffee and we really go get coffee. I was just gonna say neurodivergent, people have the cute love stories and neurotypical people have the boring love stories ish, boring ish. Well, I, I sat there. Go ahead. I mean, neurodivergent people have to kiss enough. He is like, no, I love him tomorrow. Like the man who went to prison just to get the girl and somehow got the girl. I keep telling their children not to go to prison just because we fell for a girl. I, I, I, I usually, and I'm, I'm just, um, say this and then of course we can get to your next questions. Um. I sat there and I thought to myself, you know, Constanza has stayed with Mozart for 10 years through all this illness and all this pain and all this financial trials and difficulties. And it's not to say that they didn't have spats and that they don't, and not that they don't have spats in my story. They, they, they do, but it never seemed to me that it drove them apart. It only seemed to that no matter what trial they went through, whether it was losing children or grief or unexpected loss or financial trials or having to move house or like, no matter what they went through, they seemed to claim together. And I sat there and went, wow. For the first time. There's a, there's a, there's a woman in a, in a, because I'm sure if you've seen all the neurodivergent movies or movies with characters with disabilities, usually if there's a woman involved, she eventually, at some point in the film. Leaves abandons can't take it anymore, and it doesn't happen in Mozart. And Stanzas love at the end of stanzas life, she says, I have been twice loved. And what woman on this earth can say that she was loved? You know, the way that I have been at the end of her days, you know, and she remarried many years later after Mozart had died. Um, but, and so I thought to myself, well, why has nobody tackled their love story? Because it's very clear to me that there was never any abandonment. She was never going to leave him. She was only gonna stick it out with him no matter what they faced. And you don't see that in neurodivergent apparently in this decade, You just don't see it. sorry, because apparently in this decade we can have cute love stories. Can't. Apparently every single person has to be single. Apparently we can't have cute love stories and apparently every single person in every single movie and every single person has be because Can't love stories. So she's wanting the cute love stories back and is getting a little tired of what Hollywood's giving her. so sorry. I don't care that you're like strong, independent women don't need men. No, no. I want you to say love story. Somebody said, A strong, independent woman, don't need a love story. Nobody said that. Nobody said having a love dress made you weak. Give me the Rapunzel and to make you weak. Give me Rapunzel and Flynn back please. yes. That is where she's at. I mean, nobody said having emotions make you weak. Nobody said it. Also, I can list a good chunk of independent women with love stories who are married good. Independent woman you, you still married. So she has an opinion on Hollywood and the novels coming out of places right now and the lack of decent love stories. watch they don't exist, do they? Uh, I've noticed that too. Oh, and that was, yeah. Um, one of the things that impresses me about your book is it does have that love story, and it is not the usual typical way it is looked at by neurotypical people. Oh, well, she's gonna leave him, or he's gonna leave her because they just can't handle the neurodiversity. And, and I mean, and that always made me sad, seeing movies like me before you or, um, oh God, beautiful Mind, uh, theory of Everything, imitation Game, um, watching these movies that have a sort of love story at the core at them in some way. And then, you know, they just, they just do, they just, they just go. And I sit there and I'm, and I think to myself, yeah, I know it's hard, but. If the adversity is what tests you and breaks you, and you're not leaning on your spouse, then what even is the, is the point. And so when, when I was, when I looked at Constanza and Wolfgang in, in truth with their letters, you know, with the amount of letters that he would send her, and the very few that they have found of Stan, 'cause hers, hers have gone astray, you know, um, things go missing over the centuries. But with the few of hers that exist, she was always, always, like, there's one letter where wolf gains really sick, and she's writing to her father-in-law saying, oh, don't worry about it. He's, he's all right, I've taken care of him. You know, like there's, and even her interview, she talks more about her husband. Than she does herself. She sacrifices her own life and her own legacy for him than anyone else. You know, I mean, there's hardly a shred of anything about her left. And except minus sexist, misogynistic people writing books about her Hinz, Gartner, um, you don't exist. I don't like you. He, uh, he wrote this terrible book about Constanza called After The Requiem, and I'm ashamed that it's on my shelf and I'm, and you can just feel the sexism towards her, uh, coming out of that book. Okay. I'm sorry. We are 54 minutes into this video and nobody said this is going the hour, and I can the next video please say you'll come on again because I, because if you do, I just want the next video just being the whole thing about their love story because this is just so darn cute. And I hope that you'll get to So, uh, the, whenever you have the chance to read it. um, she's waiting for the audio book to come out because of her dyslexia. She does a lot more Yes. I'm currently, I am on chapter eight right now. I only have seven more chapters to go before I put it all together in a big compilation. So that is coming, I promise. She's like, I will be there. The, she will buy it as soon as it is out. It's just with her dyslexia. She has the hardest time Well, and here's the good thing too. Um, the, the audio drama audio book version will cut out some of the, the more I, um, some of the more sequences that are more described in the book. Since we have our actors acting things out, um, there's nothing explicit. It's, it's, it's probably for all ages minus a little bit of language, you know, like here and there, but it's regency language, so it's even more fun. Um, but it is, it will be available on YouTube for free. Um, as I don't like Audible, they want you to have a Kindle version in order to make an audiobook there. So I'm making it myself. Um, so it will be available for everyone to listen to on my website and on YouTube as well. all right. Go ahead. If you had another question or other questions, or I don't know. well, um, we told you we would keep this to an hour. Faith. Is there any way we can have you come back on the show at another Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Because we had a blast. Hopefully you enjoyed the conversation I did entirely. and now both dogs are down here. It's like, uh. where can people find you on Oh yes, of course. Thank you. So, um, if you'd like to follow me, of course you can follow me at Faith Jacobs Official, um, on Instagram. Uh, that is O-F-F-I-C. Al I think, I think I misspelled official role on my Instagram. I will double check, but I know, I know on one of my social medias it doesn't look right. That is me. Um, 'cause my brain has autofill. Uh, but if you'd like to find me there, of course you could follow me on Instagram. You can find me on YouTube at Coffee and Comics Creations. Or coffee and comics, I think 'cause coffee and comics creations is my red bubble where you can get bookish merch and you can get, uh, podcast merch as well. Um, let's see, I think Instagram, YouTube, and of course my author's website as well, which I'm, I'm sure, uh, Amanda will plug into the description below and all my relevant, um, links that I sent. Um, so you can find me there and on good reads where I would highly recommend reviews for faithfully yours, Mozart, because it's easier than Amazon and Spotify, where you can find the audio drama, um, currently airing in single episodes right now. That will eventually be a compilation of all the episodes, hopefully by the end of this year. Um, I did wanna ask, um, and I'm putting you on the spot, so hopefully you're not mad at me. We are putting together a resource guide for the website for all these autism resources. Do you mind if we list your novels as a great resource to just like, understand autism through Absolutely. And that would be wonderful. They, like I said, um, they come and, and on to that point, I will say that the faithfully ORs Mozart books do come into additions. I only have, um, I have the disability friendly ones on me right now. Which are, which are these ones? Um, so these are, they're bigger prints. They're, they're bigger for that reason. I was having vision difficulties when I wrote these, but there are standardized smaller additions that you can get that are like five by. Five by eight, 8.3 sevens. Um, Stan, you, you can get standardized versions of the book as well, but these are the, the disability friendly ones. They're bigger, you can hold them, you know, like, um, like if you're reading to somebody who has a difficult, difficult time reading, you can read these together, um, with somebody. Uh, but if you want a standardized version, I, I would recommend, um, getting those, um, just so that they're easier to hold. Um, so there are two versions. Um, 'cause people complained ironically about how big these books are, but they're big for those who have vision problems. So, um, absolutely. You are so free to do that. And, and that's, that would be wonderful to have. Again, we are at 90 minutes. Thank you for being on the podcast for Before we, girl, do you have any cute pets? Okay. First off, you do not have to be so producer. She is becoming a little producer I, so, but yeah, I don't have to be so uc. Like you said, this wasn't going in that as an hour. so, too hyper fixated. I got too hyper fixated. I am a bad producer. No. so she wants to know if you have any cute pets at home before we I do, I do. I have, I have two white kitties. Their names are Anya and Vashti, and sometimes they make appearances on my social media and they are little, little divas and I love them so much. Animals are her favorite thing in the world. She likes animals better than people. I think we can all say probably like then a Maestro's best friend, which is a story, and I don't have it with me. It's coming in the mail tomorrow about Mozart's little puppy pimp roll, uh, and her adventures with Mozart in the young, young reader's friendly version of, uh, faithfully yours, which is Maestro's best friend. She's a wire fox terrier, and it's, uh, it's a fun story. we're gonna have to pick that one up for her. Um, thank you so much for coming on. Faith. We are gonna have to have yawn again and thank you for. There is so much more to you than just the books, but people, we're gonna have everything about everything you're doing in the description below on the website in our uh, guest still, and we will talk to you later. Faith, thanks for farewell. Bye-bye. Okay, well thank you for watching the podcast and please subscribe and also look at the Adorable, don't You watch, subscribe Forward and also please like, and don't pick it if you'll to us, if you'll miss any of our new podcast. And also you see the Adorable, don't you like it?