Reclaiming Your Hue

Ep. 51 with Ashley Shaw | Realtor, Toronto Sothebys

• Kelly Kirk • Season 1 • Episode 51

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What Your Dream Board Can Teach You About Success

Ashley Shaw's journey from commercial to residential real estate offers a masterclass in building a thriving business while navigating the complexities of motherhood.

Starting her career at just 21 in the male-dominated commercial real estate world, Ashley developed foundational skills in farming territories and pioneered door knocking as a strategy – something unheard of in the commercial space. Though successful, she found herself drawn to residential real estate, making a bold transition after five years to join Canada's number one team at Royal LePage.

What truly distinguishes Ashley's story is her unflinching honesty about the challenges of balancing professional ambition with motherhood. Three days after giving birth to her first child, she was back showing houses – not only from necessity but because work provided moments where she "felt herself" again during a time of overwhelming change. With candor that will resonate with many working mothers, she reveals her struggles with nursing, postpartum depression (which she only recognized retrospectively after her second child), and the guilt that comes with dividing oneself between business and family.

The evolution of Ashley's business reflects her strategic thinking. After joining Sotheby's in 2017 with a newborn, she quickly achieved the Senior Vice President designation in just nine months. When her business coach, Jim Miller, recognized her path to burnout, he refused further coaching until she hired support staff – advice that transformed her practice. This emphasis on creating systems, from scheduled client calls to her family's understanding of when she's "going in the zone" for urgent work, demonstrates how thoughtful boundaries create space for both professional success and quality family time.

Perhaps most inspiring is Ashley's commitment to intentional living. Her annual solo retreat to evaluate the year and set new goals, followed by alignment discussions with her husband, ensures their shared vision remains cohesive. Her morning exercise routine, family involvement in her children's activities, and dedicated connection time with her spouse create a sustainable framework for balancing it all.

For anyone feeling pulled between career ambitions and family responsibilities, Ashley leaves us with powerful advice: "Make sure it's aligned with your passion, because entrepreneurship is not easy. There's a lot of tough moments." Her story proves that with passion, persistence, and proper systems, checking off those dream board goals one by one is entirely possible.

Connect with Ashley:

Contact the Host, Kelly Kirk:

  • Email: info.ryh7@gmail.com

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Credits:

  • Editor: Joseph Kirk
  • Music: Kristofer Tanke


Thanks for listening & cheers to Reclaiming Your Hue!

Speaker 1:

Good morning Ashley.

Speaker 2:

Good morning Kelly. How are you?

Speaker 1:

I'm good thank you, good, good. I'm so happy to see you and so happy that we were finally able to nail down a date. It feels like months and months have passed, but here we are, and I'm glad that our listeners are going to be able to hear your story about mompreneurship. So let's go ahead and dive in. First question that I would love for you to share with our listeners is how you and I are connected, cause it's a fun. It's a fun story.

Speaker 2:

I love that. So I met you through your lovely husband, joe. Joe and I have the same business coach and we work at Sotheby's and you know we got connected through Jim Miller and basically we're immediate best friends.

Speaker 1:

I know I love it and then what was really interesting. So I think there's a kind of a two part here. So Sotheby's is international, which you know. Some listeners may not know that about the brand itself, but can you share real briefly where it is that you're hailing from?

Speaker 2:

Yes, so I'm here in Canada and I specialize in the West end of Toronto, specifically South Etobicoke.

Speaker 1:

Okay, wonderful. And when you and I like officially met in person, it wasn't here in the States, it was actually we had. We had gone to visit some of Joe's extended family in Toronto and we had a wonderful opportunity to actually get together with you and your family, and that was my first. I was like, who are we going to meet? He's like Ashley Shaw. She's incredible, she's a part of Sotheby's and so it was so fun to like start to connect those dots in terms of like who, who Joe had been like having conversations with from you know, this funnel of Jim Miller and all of the people who are coaching with him, and I was like, ah, got it. Okay, now I understand who Ashley Shah is. This is amazing. So I was so happy to meet you and, by the way, we will be coming to Toronto at some point or another, so get ready, because we'll find another time to all get together the whole family?

Speaker 1:

Absolutely For sure. So let's go ahead and dive into your story. Can you share with the listeners what came first for you? Was it motherhood or was it entrepreneurship?

Speaker 2:

So it was entrepreneurship. Actually, I was extremely young, I was 21, turning 22. And I jumped into commercial real estate to commercial real estate, specifically industrial, in a male dominated business.

Speaker 1:

And that's where I started my real estate career. Wow, I had no idea. I mean, I'm going to be learning quite a bit here too, but to start in the commercial realm of real estate is quite interesting. So let's let's elaborate on that. Like, what are some of the skills that you felt you learned in starting off on the commercial side before going over to the residential?

Speaker 2:

Yes. So I actually loved the commercial side. I love the transactions, but I have to say I didn't love the product. It didn't excite me. Industrial buildings talking about truck level shipping and 400 amps and 22 foot clear height, so it didn't. The product itself didn't excite me, but I loved the real estate. I love the process. The product itself didn't excite me, but I loved the real estate. I love the process and I am happy that that kind of was my introduction to real estate because I found that gave me a really good foundation. They. They taught you a lot actually about farming and that's that's where I took kind of those skills and it on the residential side, um, and there was a lot of cold calling. I remember I'd have my my maps and I'd highlight the streets of who I was calling and then going back again I did something different too in commercial real estate that nobody really was doing at the time, which was door knocking, and I love door knocking but nobody really door knocked commercial buildings, and so I found great success actually through door knocking.

Speaker 1:

Interesting, and I do believe that that is something that you still implement in your residential business, correct?

Speaker 2:

Yes, I love door knocking.

Speaker 1:

Well, in the specific neighborhood that you and your family live in, that's the one that you really farm, correct, and so it's. You know, if you've got kind of a smaller perimeter of a neighborhood, it certainly makes it a little bit easier. But I think for some of the listeners who are in that like, they're in that mindset of residential real estate, are in that mindset of residential real estate, absolutely not going to do the door knocking. What are some tips that you could give them to overcome that? Because for some people I think of video, ashley, some people for social media and their social media strategy absolutely not going to do video, that's a that's a no go for me. And I'm sure that there are some people who are listening and who are going as residential realtors, they're going absolutely not going to door knock. But why is door knocking so or so important for you as a strategy for your business?

Speaker 2:

Well, there's not a lot of turnover where I focus. Usually, you know, people don't want to leave the neighborhood, so I find what? If I can get in front of somebody, they will. You know it's better than a cold call to me, that's you know where they'll see me. You know I live in the neighborhood. Usually they open the door and it's almost like a warm welcome. They already know who I am. But also I'm proactive, like I'm not waiting. Like if I have a buyer and they tell me what they want, I will go out and find it for them. I'm not going to wait for it to pop up on MLS, I'm going to go find those opportunities for them.

Speaker 1:

That's so incredible. It's the go-getter attitude that is like just in, especially in the business of real estate, that sort of mentality is like you've, you've got to have that trait within you, especially if you've got, if you've got a client who is has a specific need, it's like, okay, well, I can sit on the sidelines and try to figure out how to have something pop up on MLS so they potentially heart it. You know, and you're like that, that just doesn't work for the specific neighborhood, it's just not going to. So, okay, I love that We've talked a little bit about, like some of your business strategy, but I want to weave in motherhood as well into this. So we'll kind of do a little bouncing back and forth.

Speaker 1:

But can you, can you share what the timeline was from starting in real estate on the commercial side until you made the switch over to residential? And, by the way, I'm just having this like light bulb moment too, where I'm like, oh my gosh, I totally understand like how you and Joe clicked, because he started off in the commercial side of things but in property management and then made his way over to the residential side of the business, and so I am like I'm just connecting the dots. You're going okay. Yeah, just, I completely understand how that connection was just like boom right away, so for sure. Anyways, I would love for you to just kind of share what that timeline looked like, from commercial to residential and then where the family started to fold into all of it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so I spent five years in commercial real estate and you know, so that's where I started and then about after four years that's when I met actually before then but I got married four years into commercial real estate, um, and after a year being married in commercial real estate, you know, I went to my husband. I said I think I need a change and I want to do residential. Um, and I think some people thought I was absolutely crazy because I was really building great momentum on commercial real estate when I first joined. I was actually on a team for my first two years and then I branched off and went off on my own. So I was really starting to build momentum. And then I took a leap of faith and switched. I joined the number one team for Canada at Royal LePage. So I figured, if I'm going to leave and I'm going to do residential, I want to go join the best of the best. So I interviewed with them and you know, luckily they hired me kind of right of the best. So I interviewed with them and, you know, luckily they hired me kind of right on the spot and started my journey in residential. And so that was. That would be about almost 12 years ago and anyway it was. It was a great experience.

Speaker 2:

I worked on on that team for five years and that's where that's when I had my two kids um, there was no mat leave. You know, three days later I was back out showing houses. Luckily, my mom helped me out, but she would drive the neighborhood with the baby in the back while I showed houses. But I have to say that, you know, becoming a mom and it was it was a dream of mine, my whole life.

Speaker 2:

But the reality of reality of it, you know, was a lot. It was a lot at the beginning and I think, you know, actually my work was a place and a space that I felt myself. A place and a space that I felt myself. So, you know, looking back, it sounds crazy that I was out showing houses three days after, but those, those were my moments that I felt, felt myself again. And you know, here you're building a business right, like you've worked with somebody for four months looking for the perfect house, and it's like I can't drop them because now, you know, all of a sudden, I have a baby. So it was really juggling and I was, you know, so lucky that I had, you know family and my mom to kind of help me along during during that Jersey journey.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So something I want to tie in here is when you took the leap of faith from the commercial side to the residential side. But then you know the this in is one. You found a passion, right, you knew that you wanted to stay in this real estate realm is what I'm hearing right. So you wanted to still be a part of this, but just in a different format, so to speak, and that is where you found your passion, and passion is very important when it comes to what you're doing and building for business.

Speaker 1:

But I am curious if we might just explore this a little bit, like what it may have looked like and how it could have looked different if you would have stayed in commercial and had your child while you were in commercial. I think that I want to explore this a little bit because for some of the listeners and I'm having some like, some like ties come up on my end Like okay, I am starting to connect the dots Like when I was in mortgage formerly in mortgage and had Maddie, I didn't have a true passion. I didn't realize I didn't have a true passion for mortgage until I had my child and I had a greater, bigger purpose in life. And now I'm working in a complete, completely different realm, working with my husband in B in business, but so passionate about what I'm doing and how I'm serving, and serving in completely different ways. I would love to explore this and just talk through it a little bit more.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely. If I had stayed in commercial it would have been very different. I think Commercial is very Monday to Friday and your business hours and you're in the office. I think it was like a nice balance actually being on the residential side, because you are sometimes showing houses in the evenings and weekends and so I could have some time with the baby during the day and I. I think actually it was probably the best thing that ever happened, because my husband had our daughter in the evenings and weekends and they developed such a strong bond right from the beginning because it wasn't you know, mom was around and mom does everything you know. So he'd call me and he's like she won't stop crying. I'm like, yes, that's what she does for me too, like you need to figure it out, just like I'm trying to. What are your coping mechanisms here with?

Speaker 1:

this Like how, like you need to figure it out. Just I'm trying to what are your coping mechanisms here with this, like, how are you gonna adapt?

Speaker 2:

yes, and I have to say our daughter was colic for about six months. So, um, yeah, it was. It was some challenging times, for sure, but I think it yeah it was it was best thing, for I think you know he could see as well like what's involved with taking care of a baby. You know he'd work long days and come home and then it would be like okay, over to you, and now I'm out showing houses and this was before DocuSign and we would be sitting outside a house waiting to present our offer and then sitting in the car to find out if we got the house. So, yeah, yeah, but it was, yeah, you know what, going back, I wouldn't change anything. Actually, I think it gave, you know, allowed a special bond with my husband and the kids and allowed me to to continue on and and have something for myself too.

Speaker 1:

Totally. I also think that it would be nice to sort of piece in the borders and boundaries that need to be created when it comes to the dynamic between husband and wife, right, but then what does that look like too, with the business and family time? So would you be open to sharing what that looks like or how you and your husband have evolved with that, and then how that has evolved with your business? Sure, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

I mean today now it's very different, I would say, than you know the earlier days, for sure.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, docusign.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, no, kidding, kidding, that definitely helps, for sure.

Speaker 2:

And, um, even like a kind of a shift with COVID, like I found that there is a little bit of flexibility with clients and you know they will go during during the week, during the day, to look at houses. So I, I actually find less evenings and weekends now and you know, because my clientele they're, they're like me, like we're busy with the kids activities, so they don't want to go actually in the evenings and weekends, they want to go during the day when the kids are, you know, at school. So that actually, I think, um, you know, with DocuSign and COVID, just a little shift in in my market and where I work, um, so, yeah, so I think it's, it's nice now like I have a real, you know, work-life balance. Um, I've also hired some people to help on the back end, so that frees up some of my time to be there for the family and to provide a better service to my clients, because I'm only one person, so, yeah, having an amazing team behind me is really what makes everything flow perfectly.

Speaker 1:

What do you feel the turning point was for you in recognizing that it was time to hire somebody on? I think that there's so many women who I've had such a an array of mompreneurs on the podcast from you know very infant stages of their startup business to you know 10 plus years in business and and kids are in a very different season of life as well. So for you specifically, what did that turning point look like and how like? How do you think that that could be um recognized for other people, other women in their businesses?

Speaker 2:

Well, okay, I think I should go back to when I left, actually the, the residential team, and then started off on my own, sure, so, uh, because that kind of ties into my to the journey a bit. So, um, 2017 is when I had my son and you know I was working on this other team, you know, building my own business, and so it was great because they had everybody you know the team behind to, you know do paperwork and photos and everything. So they had the processes there, which is great, so I could kind of work and focus on my kids. But then it got to the point that you know I took a look and I'm like, okay, well, the amount of money that I'm giving them, I can hire like three people to support me. So it almost didn't make sense to be on this other team. So 2017 is when I took another leap of faith and I switched over to Sotheby's. It was the only brokerage I wanted to be at, coming from the commercial world, where it is very corporate, the you know your business cards doesn't have your face on it like it's very client focused. And that's where I think Sotheby's connected with me because it had really the professionalism and the you know the brand, the corporate, but on the residential side. So for me that was marrying kind of the two worlds together and it was the actual best brokerage for me and um.

Speaker 2:

So, 2017, when I joined um, I had a new baby and they said that you know, when they hired. They said that you know, when they hired, they said we have one title and one title only, and that's senior vice president and you have to reach this threshold. So I am, you know, surprise, surprise people a little type A, very driven towards goals. So I said, okay, what is that threshold? I will have that before the end of the year Turns out nine months later, I hit that threshold and along that way, I met another Sotheby's agent that said Riley, she connected me. She says you need to meet Jim Miller. He coaches one-on-one. He doesn't coach very many people, only with Sotheby's. So thank you, riley, for connecting us.

Speaker 2:

And so I met Jim in 2018. And here I am. I'm like, oh yeah, jim, I'm doing it all. You know, I've got the, I've got the kids, um, and I'm, I'm working, I'm folding letters at night till midnight, getting ready to doorknob the next day. Uh, this is when we did finally end up hiring a nanny because it was like, okay, you know, we, I can't pack up two kids to my parents' house every time I have a showing showing. So this is when I said to my husband I really want to go all in and and on my business.

Speaker 2:

So that was when I joined Sotheby's. We ended up getting a nanny to to help us out with the kids. And, um, yeah. So then I met, I hit the threshold, met Jim I'm all excited telling him everything I'm doing. And Jim says I'm all excited telling him everything I'm doing. And Jim says I'm not going to take our next call until you hire somebody to help you, because you are going to burn out. You cannot work till midnight and get up again at you five, six in the morning. You can't physically keep it up. So and I was like, no, I can do it, I can do it, jim. He's like nope, nope, not having our next call till you sort this out.

Speaker 2:

So, um, that's when I ended up going down the route of finding an assistant to help me out, which is a journey itself, I have to say. I went through an agency that helped me find somebody, and I think I went through three before we found the right one. I was starting to think there was something wrong with me, but I'm very particular and I, you know, want things done a certain way and it was, you know, finding finding the right person. And then that's when Helen joined in 2018. And she's still with me today. What I do without Helen, but, yeah, it was actually really Jim that forced me to go hire somebody, which, again, was, you know, the best, the best thing that really happened for you know, for the team, um, and, and, yeah, my business.

Speaker 1:

I'm like getting teary eyed because he's been instrumental in supporting Joe in. Instrumental in supporting Joe in in both personal and professional. Frankly, happy broker, sell more real estate, it's like his little tagline and, um, he really does such a fantastic job of encompassing the whole, what I like to call like the whole whole self, the wellness wheel. Like the whole whole self. The wellness wheel um, not just all about business and forgetting about the other very important pieces of who we are essentially as people. And I just can wildly appreciate it about Jim.

Speaker 1:

Um, so shout out to Jim Miller. We kind of want to keep him a little bit of a diamond, a gem, secret, right Cause, like. But we also need to honor him because he has, like it's very evident that he was instrumental in supporting you from you know where you were already at and the level of success that you already had in your business. But he's like, if you want, if you want to continue to coach with me, I'm setting the border and boundary for myself. Like you, I I refuse to like coach somebody who's going to end up burning out, right, he?

Speaker 1:

He's like he wants to be coaching people who really take into consideration, um, harmonizing their business with their personal life. It's so cool. So, um, you really kind of checked off the box too of like what, uh, support has looked like for you. But I think that, um, in terms of the business side of things, but how about, um, personally as well? Can we kind of evolve or evolutionize what that has looked like? You've briefed on it, but like, let's really go into what some of that secret sauce has looked like for you on the personal side for support.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so you know, obviously, having having a nanny that helps, you know my job is really I just want to see clients and be with my family and so you know they really take a load off of you know, running the house and you know having, you know, the food ready for the kids. Like she is able to do all of that so that I can be a hundred percent into my kids and my work. I find that really, really helps. Again, I think really, um, really creating systems and processes help as well. So it it takes a lot off my plate and then I schedule.

Speaker 2:

You know my clients know you know we have our weekly call at this time so I'm not getting panicked calls at eight o'clock at night when I'm trying to put the kids down. Um, you know, and, and I feel like the clients they're no, they know there's a system, they know there's a process and it actually calms them and it's like, okay, she, she's got it. You know, connect on Monday at two o'clock and that's when we're going to review everything weekly. So I find the systems and processes also really help have just a better flow to the business, more more buying back more of my time and it also ensuring the confidence with the clients that that they she knows what she's doing. Like she's got it covered.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So something that is coming to mind, ash, that I want to, I want to talk through with you, is the, the support that you have from the nanny right For for some people.

Speaker 1:

Um, I could see that in hiring somebody to support within the household, you could see the pendulum potentially swing a little too far where you're you're wholeheartedly, like, focused on the business, and then it really doesn't it's not serving the purpose that it's really supposed to, which is it allows you the freedom because you have the systems, the processes and the procedures in your business to be able to spend more quality time with your family, with your kids. So what has that looked like for you in hiring somebody on and then implementing borders and boundaries for yourself?

Speaker 2:

with what that looks like. Yeah, no, I would say my family is absolute priority. I mean, that's really what we have at the end of the day. So, as much as I love my work and I'm very passionate about it, I also, you know, recognize it and don't want to miss important moments for the kids. That's where I think, you know, I do have certain boundaries and you know I'm heavily involved. I volunteer a lot in the kids school. I'm the manager of my son's hockey team and so I go to all of their activities. Like that, that's something that to me, you know, I do make a priority. And the reality is, you know, we're not surgeons, so usually it's not life or death, and you know, unless it's like time sensitive and there's an offer which my kids know, okay, mommy's going in the zone, you know. And my husband understands too his, you know my world being. You know that he's in commercial real estate, he understands. So like, okay, you've got the kids and this is, I'm going in the zone, we're going in.

Speaker 1:

Is that what you say? Is that what you say, ash, like I'm going in the zone.

Speaker 2:

Do you go?

Speaker 1:

up to the third level of the house too.

Speaker 2:

If it's in the evening, yeah, so I'm in the third level. The door's yeah, so I'm in the third level, the door's locked, I'm in the zone and, um, I mean, sometimes I get odd little text messages that pop up from the kids like a little message if I'm on my on the phone with a client. But, um, you know they're, they're pretty good at understanding, you know just how our lives work and but no, I mean most, unless it's really time sensitive, most things can get scheduled for for another time. Yeah, you know, I again, I deal with a lot of families. I think that they also respect, you know, family time is important too.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely. Another thing that I know to be true in just interviewing 50 plus women so far is the importance of how you are filling your own cup in the process of being a mompreneur. Can you share what that has looked like for you? What does self-care really look like?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so exercise for me is a big, big thing for me. That's kind of my outlet. So that's, you know, six in the morning at, you know, the local, local gym. I actually love the energy from the 6am club. Nice, yeah, you know, get it out of the way, the kids are usually still sleeping and by the time I come home then it's back on to, you know, mom world and getting the kids off and for ready for school.

Speaker 2:

Um, but yeah, I think you know, taking, taking that time is really important for my health and mental health. You know, with working out and we're actually pretty good at scheduling time for date nights. My husband is probably my biggest supporter, my best friend. So I, you know, we do make a point, you know, even after the kids go down, just to sit in the living room and kind of reconnect and and talk about our days, like I said, I mean, we both really understand each other's worlds.

Speaker 2:

Uh, we bounce a lot of things off of each other. Sometimes I'm in negotiations and I'm like I'm'm going to go back at this and he's like no, no, no, I would, I would, I would go back at this, right. So I think it's, it's really, really important, you know, and, again, like you know, the kids are going to leave the house one day and and you know, you turn and you look over like that's who you have, at the end of the day, to spend the rest of your life with. So I think it's important to to you know, make sure that you know life is busy and and not focusing, you know, not getting consuming my life with work and the kids and forgetting about, you know, my significant other, which is really important. So, yeah, we try to do that, you know. At least a trip every year, just the two of us try to do that. You know. At least a trip every year, just the two of us. Nights, um, but really making a point to you know, stay connected and communicate.

Speaker 1:

Something I can really appreciate, Ash, is that you've you've listed off some really wonderful um opportunities to be able to connect with your significant other. But I love that you started it off with saying, like sometimes it's just sitting in the living room, you know, and kind of debriefing and and finding that time to connect, and sometimes that is all it really takes to be able to come back together at the end of the day after the house is a little bit more quiet and you're not, you know, being pulled in other directions by clients, right. It's just maybe 15, 20 minutes is all it can really take to go. How are you doing? How's life, you know? How can I support you? Support you, what do you need? And and it's just 20 minutes sometimes.

Speaker 2:

I know for sure and honestly, like actually just not having a tv on. You know, I think it's so easy. You go all day and I get it. You want to just turn things off and you don't want to talk and put a show on, but really that's not connecting, like you're just sitting in the same room. You're not connecting. So, yeah, I mean, I love to talk, he loves to talk. So you know, you're, if it's a coffee in the morning and just like, okay, recapping, okay, this is what's gonna. You've got this going on about this going on. Okay, with kids need to get to this activity.

Speaker 1:

But just like, just connect about what's going on in each other's worlds it is very evident, and because I I know you on just a little bit more of a personal level, um it the listeners are probably picking this up that you're a very strong woman, right, and you even alluded to like I'm type a. I'm type a, but I also know that we all have our moments. There are peaks and valleys and you've lift you've you listed off moments of like how you work through some of what you need to in the harmonization of motherhood and entrepreneurship. But have there been moments where you found yourself in sort of the valleys and, if so, what were some of the strategies? Being a type A person that you are, what are some of the strategies that kind of helped you to work through that? I just feel that motherhood is challenging. It is quite possibly the hardest job, and then you fold in being an entrepreneur. It comes with its challenges.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, no, I've definitely had challenges along the way. I will say that it is not all being rainbows and sunshine. Um, I had to say, actually I really struggled when, when I had my daughter, um, I had problems with nursing her. Um, she was colic, I was. I didn't even actually realize I had postpartum until I had my second and I was like, oh, this is how it's supposed to feel. But yeah, I was really really overwhelmed with my first. But I have to say I just really have a never give up attitude.

Speaker 1:

And.

Speaker 2:

I would say my daughter has taught me more than probably anybody else on this entire planet. Um, she's pushed me in a in a wonderful way. Um, but yeah, like I had a really hard time nursing her, I went to seven lactation consultants.

Speaker 2:

I think it was seven lactation consultants, I think it was yeah and then, but I was like, no, I'm going to figure it out Like I know, you know I'm gonna figure it out and we did and it was amazing, it was a special bond that that we had, you know, and I do think you, you know, because I was leaving and working, like having those moments, you know, and it's like at night, and it's just the two of us, like that was, that was our moments, and but, yeah, like she really gave me a strength that I never even knew was existed and yeah.

Speaker 2:

So I think she really like I just keep that, I just keep going, like, even though I actually had a struggle last year, 17 years into the business, at the one last year, I was losing so many meetings and I'm like Jim, like I don't know what to do. I was like, should I, should I pack it in? Like is this a time that I should? Maybe I should meant to be a stay-at-home mom, you know, maybe we do that. And then, and then, the deal started clicking again and I was like no, no, no, we're back, we're back, we're not going anywhere, you know. But yeah, like there's it's natural to have moments in your life and I think everybody sees things on the outside and it looks perfect and it looks amazing. But no, there's definitely struggles and I think it's just that like just keep going, just keep going, and then things click right.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, I think the the process of nursing is. You're not the first person, first woman who has been on this podcast who has talked about the struggles of nursing and talking to lactation specialists, and um, it's, it can be, as you're already coming off the heels of birth and the shifts that are happening with your body, the shifts that are happening with our hormones, and then you piece in wanting the like. There is that tie, that connection that comes with nursing that is just so intimate and so special. And for the individuals who are listening right now that you had struggled with that, just know that you're not alone, even even for individuals like Ashley and I, who, who worked through cause I'm right there with you.

Speaker 1:

I didn't go through seven lactation specialists. Um, I went to go and see one and it finally, just like, then it, then it clicked for for us, but it it still does something to you on a mental level. That is so challenging, incredibly challenging, and um, I I know like for me personally, I just wanted to be able to provide for Maddie in a in a way that I didn't feel, and it it's a, it's a personal thing for every single woman or individual or couple who is going through that process. But I, for me personally, I was like I just want to be able to provide for her in this way. I've got to make it work to your point, I've got to make it work.

Speaker 1:

I want to have those intimate moments and I think back to two years ago and like those, those moments in the evenings before they're going to bed, and it's just the two of you. Yes, it is incredibly intimate and that bond that happens through it's like the desire for women who are unable to do that. I can imagine. It's just soul crushing yeah soul crushing, but you can still have the bond.

Speaker 2:

It's just you know it's, it's not through that particular pathway yeah, I also found too, though, to be honest, like a little bit you know when it when it wasn't clicking at first, um, but I also found a little bit overwhelmed, like oh my, like this baby literally depends on me living. Like it was kind of a very overwhelming feeling that this baby cannot physically survive, like without me caring for her. That that, I think, was really that was.

Speaker 1:

That was overwhelming, I think at the beginning, and I think that's like a mix with the hormones, though, like it was just like yeah, it's a mental trip, it really is, and it puts you into this headspace where you're like what it's like do or die almost. And you're like, how can I, how can I and I commend you, ash, that you, like you, have that I'm not going to give up attitude to your point. And you went from one to the other through seven different lactation specialists. Like the tenacity there is.

Speaker 2:

God willing, it was a comedy skitit, I think. At one point, like I remember sitting down and the lady like freaking out, like oh my gosh, running, and she like wet two diapers and like stuck them on me and she's like oh my gosh, like we have too much milk production here, like oh my, she was the lactation consultant, was overwhelmed and they're being like I don't even know what is going on.

Speaker 1:

It's such a trip. It really is, yeah, but you had your second and you're like, oh, okay, well, I've got this. Like I, I, I understand, and it's like how quickly you can like flip back to, even though years and years have passed, our brains. Just don't forget what that looks like and feels like and sounds like. So, my goodness, thank you for sharing that too, because for some people, that's a, it can be a traumatic experience and that you worked through it.

Speaker 1:

And, and I think for for the listeners, I think it's important to just understand like one, you're not alone in that, in that process, in that journey, Um, especially as it pertains to nursing your child Um, there's probably some listeners that are gearing up to have a baby and, um, just know that, like, you've got the support around you. You just need to continue to lean into it. If you're not exactly getting what you need out of it and this is I mean, this goes for business too it's like if you're finding yourself hitting a wall or some sort of speed bump, it's going who and what are the resources around me right now that I can lean into, because we cannot do it all, we cannot, and leaning into that proverbial village around you is just so highly critical and highly important.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

I feel like we've kind of like I'm really relatively surprised at how quickly we've been able to get through everything. Ashley, here I am, before we started going. Oh, my goodness, like we're probably going to go like an hour and a half and I just feel like we've been able. I think it's because you're you're type A We've been able to bullet points through all of them. So I think I'm going to steal one of Jim's Jim Miller's lines and say it's we're going to start to land the plane here. Could you, first and foremost, I would love to hear from you Like what's, what's a piece of advice that you would give a younger version of yourself, knowing all that you know now?

Speaker 2:

Again, it's like don't give up, like keep going, have your goals and you will, you know, start ticking them off one by one. It's come to a point. It's almost a kind of a joke in our family, because my mom says what else are you going to put on that dream board of yours, Cause you just keep knocking them off. So yeah, I mean, have a vision and just keep going. Like don't give up, just keep going.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I actually we might go a little bit longer, cause I just had something else come to mind. Um, how important. I'm thinking, actually, to the, the gal who I had on just before you last week, who is very much type a as well, and all she talked about, ash is planning, planning, planning, planning. Like she I mean almost to a fault plans out everything in her life. What does that look like for you in terms of setting those goals and being able to go? Yeah, like my, I have family members who are going. What else, ash? Like what else are you going to accomplish here? Cause you keep checking off all of those items on your dream list. So how important. Like talk, talk myself and the listeners through. Like what does the planning look like for you in terms of goal setting?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so every year, um, every year, I go away by myself my kids know my, my husband knows, booked, booked a night away, Um, it's usually the the end of the year, november, around November, and I will, and I need to be in a completely different setting, like I can't be. I need to need to go book a hotel and that's when I review the entire year what worked, what didn't work, what do I want to change, not just with even business, my entire life, like family, like I break it down, family, what you know, what would I, what do I want to do differently? What do I want to implement, you know, same with same with business. And that's when I I redo kind of my, my goals and my vision. I have short term, I have long term.

Speaker 2:

I am so passionate that I can literally feel, at 10 years from now, when I'm 50. I, like, I have this vision because, like, our dream is to, you know, have a place down south. I literally feel like Eric driving the car down south and like looking at me, like huh, we made it like with his big smile up. You know, eric, you know that smile, um, but, yeah, like I can feel, like I know different stages of my life. Like I know that these next 10 years it's busy with the kids It'll be getting them off to university, but I have, um, I have kind of visions of like different stages, like I know I know where you know, hopefully we're going and and we actually sit down and at the kind of end of the year, beginning of of January, and we go over um, our goals and we actually make sure we are aligned and we want the same thing and that's what also helps keep the relationship together, because if you want completely separate things, that's when things can go.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, um, so does Eric do something very similar, or yeah?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, he, he not as much as as myself, but no, I think he's. He's definitely in that um practice of like what's the next three years, what? I mean he's probably gonna have a lot going on and kind of in his, in his world business wise. You know he he's the youngest of his two other business partners and so there's probably a succession plan there of like what's that going to look like for you and and your business and where it's going? And yeah, but no, I think we, we are both very aligned in in our goals and our visions. What a.

Speaker 1:

What a beautiful like nugget for people to take away to, to like. It's so simple, right? It's a simple implementation of carving out some alone time. I mean that's my takeaway, like I've had many takeaways, ash and we'll we'll be connecting further out outside of the podcast, but to have that alone time to just clear your head really honor and um honor. But then evaluate, like, how this past year has gone and then what are evolutions and changes of that. That can happen, going into the following year and just doing it on your own, without having to like, peck at other people and go what do you think about this? What do you think about this? Because sometimes that can just be too much like, too much noise, like too many too many uh cooks in the kitchen, so to speak. So, and and the the key here is you don't just go and do that and go yep, this is it, this is what what I'm doing. It's coming together because if you're going to hit all components of that wellness wheel, that involves your family too, which means having a conversation with your significant other and making sure that there's alignment in that.

Speaker 1:

Jim would be so proud of us that we're. We're talking about like where are you aiming? Yes, what does that three to five year goal look like and how are you, how are you breaking things up to get to what that vision looks like over here? So super incredible, super incredible. All right, thank you for covering those grounds. I appreciate it. I think that that was really important to share for the listeners. So I've asked you the question what's the advice that you would give a younger version of yourself? What's a piece of advice that you would give a woman listening right now who, let's see, is nibbling on the edges of entrepreneurship and they are a mother they're like in in the throes of motherhood right now and they've got this business idea. Or perhaps, let's let's kind of keep it in the vein of of the real estate industry Like they are exploring becoming an agent.

Speaker 1:

Let's go in that route. What's the advice you'd give them?

Speaker 2:

Make sure it's aligned with your passion, because I feel like you need to have a very strong desire, because entrepreneurship is not easy. There's a lot of tough moments, and so I think you have to really, really be passionate about whatever you're exploring beautiful advice.

Speaker 1:

I love it. What would be a good connection for you right now um?

Speaker 2:

I'm not quite sure, actually, to be probably the first time you actually have me silent.

Speaker 1:

How about this? Um, if it comes to mind after we're finished up with the podcast, I'll put it into the show notes. Okay, perfect, okay, Great. How can people find you? How can they get connected to you, ashley?

Speaker 2:

Instagram is a great way. My handle is Ashley Sean Associates. It's A-S-H-L-E-Y, that's how it's actually spelt Shaw's very simple S-H-A-W. So Instagram probably Instagram would probably be be the best way to to connect with me.

Speaker 1:

Beautiful Sounds good and I'll make sure to add that to the show notes so there isn't any confusion and the link and everything. So, ashley, this has been so incredible. I feel very honored to have a little glimpse into your life, both personal and business, and appreciate you coming to share that story and share some of these amazing gold nuggets of information for the listeners as well. So thank you so much for carving out the time.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much for having me. It was an honor.

Speaker 1:

You are so welcome. I hope you have a great rest of the day, you too.

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Kelly Kirk

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