Reclaiming Your Hue

Ep. 52 with Angie Weber | The Parent Toolbox

• Kelly Kirk

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The Parent Toolbox: Building Calm, Confident Families

What happens when a successful marketing professional suddenly realizes she's missing her children's most formative moments? Angie's journey from corporate burnout to holistic parenting coach offers a roadmap for mothers struggling to balance career ambitions with family connection.

After finding herself on the kitchen floor in tears, Angie took the leap that changed everything – quitting her seven-year marketing career to prioritize her twin children. What started as teaching essential oil classes to help her family reduce toxic exposure evolved into something much deeper following personal trauma that tested her marriage, mental health, and identity. Through intensive therapy for anxiety, depression, and PTSD, Angie discovered therapeutic techniques that transformed not just her healing but her entire approach to family communication.

The C.A.L.M. approach (Compassionate Communication, Awareness and Accountability, Learning emotional regulation, and Mindful Modeling) emerged from her personal healing journey. When she shared these tools with other parents, their response was universal: "Why don't we know this? Why aren't we teaching our kids this?" Now Angie helps families break generational cycles by asking better questions, holding space instead of always problem-solving, and creating consistent family meeting rituals that improve communication.

Perhaps most powerful is Angie's philosophy that "all of me with me, all of them with them" – a mantra about boundaries that reminds us we cannot control others' reactions, only our own responses. This approach has allowed her to navigate identity shifts, friendship evolutions, and entrepreneurial pivots with increasing confidence.

Whether you're questioning your current path, struggling with parent-child communication, or simply seeking more calm amidst family chaos, this episode offers practical wisdom from someone who's transformed personal struggle into purpose. Ready to find your own parent toolbox? Visit theparenttoolboxinfo.com to learn more about Angie's resources, podcast, and upcoming family planner.

Connect with Angie:

Contact the Host, Kelly Kirk:

  • Email: info.ryh7@gmail.com

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Credits:

  • Editor: Joseph Kirk
  • Music: Kristofer Tanke


Thanks for listening & cheers to Reclaiming Your Hue!

Speaker 1:

Good morning Angie, Good morning Kelly, how are you?

Speaker 2:

I'm good. How are you?

Speaker 1:

I'm good, I'm so excited to be here with you. I'm excited for you to be here too. It's so nice to be in person and be able to, like meet you officially in person, because how we originally met was via zoom, even though we're both in the Twin Cities. But I think that this is a nice little segue into. I would love for you to actually share how it is that we got connected.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely. I was so excited to come in person because I've been on other podcasts I do my own podcast but, yes, everything is virtual. So when you were like come down and we'll do it in person, I was like, absolutely. So I feel so different and just so amazing to be in person with you doing this. We got connected through a mutual connection which throughout just kind of my whole career. I will say when I first started networking, I was terrified of it, I didn't like it, it was awful, I didn't ever want to do it after my first one, and then I grew to love it, which is how we got connected through a mutual connection. Erica, who I haven't actually seen for years, so the last time I saw her I was still in marketing and then our paths crossed again and she's like you need to meet Kelly. And here we are.

Speaker 1:

It was so nice of her too, and I actually had Erica on to share her story. I don't know how much of her story you actually know, but stay tuned. Her episode will be dropping um very, very soon, but it's. It was really fun to sit down and chat with her and have some um eyeopening experiences of individuals who are striving for motherhood. However, have not been able to do that, but in having that meeting you can tell that she just has a passion and a love for not only what she does, but then doing this connection and going oh, this is who you're serving through the podcast. This is the niche. I have many individuals that I would love to connect to with you. Just let me know. But here are a few that I'm thinking of and I was like yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, of course, of course, absolutely. And we have another mutual connection to Rachel Loseley, I think is how I, how you pronounce her last name?

Speaker 1:

But yeah, she was. She actually did an introduction via LinkedIn for us too. I'm like what?

Speaker 2:

And then, when multiple people start connecting, you're like, okay, there's a sign here.

Speaker 1:

There's a reason why people are doing this. Yes, yep, absolutely. So well, let's go ahead and dive in. Could you share with the listeners what came first for you? Was it motherhood or was it entrepreneurship?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it was definitely motherhood. So I had always had this thought in my mind that I wanted to have my first child at 26. Because that's when my mom had me. I don't know why that was in my head, but it just I was very set on it. So my husband and I had been married for about a year and a half or so at that time and we started trying. Nothing was really happening, kind of went through about six months of you know, oh, it's just not going. Maybe we should just stop trying. You know summer's coming up, let's enjoy, you know, the first couple of years of marriage, yada, yada. Well, of course, life has its own plan. So four days after my 26th birthday, I found out I was pregnant, which was equally exciting and terrifying. And then, about a couple weeks later, then after that, I found out I was not having one child, but I was having two.

Speaker 2:

So it was quite a journey and I was really excited to be a mother. But I also, at that time, I was working in marketing. I was working for a really small business and I was ingrained in it. I mean, people used to think that I owned the business because I had so much pride in it. So I will say, even though I was excited about motherhood in the back of my head all of the time, even as I was on maternity leave, I was always thinking about work. I was always consumed with what's going on. I wonder what happened with this client. I wonder how that meeting went. And so now that I look back at it, I feel like I kind of robbed myself a little bit of some of those really special motherhood moments, and it also, you know, propelled me into what I'm doing now.

Speaker 1:

Mm. Hmm, I don't think you're alone in that boat. I literally am like shaking my head, going yeah, I completely empathize with that. I've. I found myself in circumstances and felt like I caught it early enough to go. Okay, this is not how I want to continue to have momentum in life, and am I actually aiming in the right direction If I'm, if I'm more focused on what is happening over here on the business side of things, then then like care and nurture for my child or, in your circumstance, to children, because that that in itself is we're going to dive into that. Yeah, that's fun, um, but yeah, I think that having that recognition moment so let's actually talk through that that moment in time where you, you caught it and you were like something's, it's gotta be better than this. Let's talk through it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, uh, I wish that I could say it happened when they were little babies, um, but it didn't. It was when they were about, uh, two and a half, three years old. Uh, working from home was cool. The office was all working from home between Christmas and New Year's and I will say that that is the week that completely changed my life. I will admit, I was terrified. I was thinking, oh my gosh, what am I going to do with these two toddlers at home all week? They're not going to want to sit down and be quiet when I have work to do. How am I going to do this? And I haven't spent this much time with them since maternity leave. And that week was so amazing. We went and did so many things. We went to the science museum, we hung out, we went to different things in the cities because it was around Christmas time, so outdoor activities. And it feels weird to say, but I fell in love with my kids on a deeper level that week. I was like, oh my gosh, they're like really fun.

Speaker 1:

And they're really cool.

Speaker 2:

people Like I can't believe I helped create these two.

Speaker 1:

Well, and what a fun age too, because you can this is what I'm talking about almost on a daily basis with people who I'm catching up with is the stage of life that Maddie is in right now. Is that stage that you're speaking to and you can see like the synapses, just like? I don't think I said that right, but you understand what I'm talking about. Her brain is just firing on all cylinders and it's like now she's really starting to connect the dots and stringing words together and can count, like she can count and she's rattling off the abcs.

Speaker 1:

I'm like what the heck? Like? This is so cool and the like, the, the bond is just growing so much more to like that affection and the love you're like. Oh, my nurturing was really paying off now. I love it. This. This is amazing. How cool to have like be in that moment. I think it's worth mentioning, too, that you had a choice right.

Speaker 1:

Like you had a choice and we like to say it's kind of a common phrase in our household life's about choices, absolutely and you had a choice, like I could stay at home and dive in and have somebody come hang out with the kids, or I can take this opportunity, understand that there's still work at hand, but I also think that so call it a God wink if you will or something, but that choice was obviously very instrumental for you, so let's keep going down this pathway.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely. And so I mean at that moment during that week, I just realized and there's nothing wrong with someone who's passionate about their career and their profession, I totally understand it on that level too. But that was the wake up call, or that God wink that I needed to realize like, wow, my priorities have been really messed up, like I am missing out on these really fun moments with my kids because I'm worried about a sale over here for a company that I work for. And so it was a month later that I went in and I quit my job after seven years. Leading up to that, there were some things happening behind the scenes. I always say that like I got to see the good, the bad, the ugly of entrepreneurship, and that's why I was hesitant to ever even want to start anything.

Speaker 2:

But a month later my husband found me on our kitchen floor having a breakdown. I mean I was crying while they were all eating dinner and he came in. He's like what are you doing? I was like I just I can't take it anymore, I don't know what to do doing. I was like I just I can't take it anymore, I don't know what to do. And he said something has to change. You can't keep doing this.

Speaker 2:

Because it was taking such a mental load on me as well, and again it was taking away time from my kids and attention with my family and my relationship and all these other aspects.

Speaker 2:

And so I remember tossing and turning that night in bed and finally, around 3am I was like God, you need to give me a sign, like I don't know what to do here. And this just big warmth came over my body. I fell asleep, woke up three hours later, rolled over to my husband and said I think I'm going to quit my job today and he goes, if that's what you have to do. And I was like, but can we financially do this? And he goes, we'll figure it out. So I mean, it changed at that one week I feel like changed everything. Otherwise I would have kept going, I would have kept being in burnout, which I totally was, and I think my relationship with my kids were would be a lot different. And that was kind of the first catalyst into starting something on my own and then, years later which I know we'll get into it really they really were the driving force behind what I do now.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, okay. So in making that leap of faith, as we like to call it, what? How did that propel you into what that next step into entrepreneurship looked like? Like what were some of the stepping stones that allowed you to get to that place?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So I actually have to back up in the story a little bit because, as you're talking about God winks, I am faithful, and so I always say that God planted a seed for a plan B before I even knew I wanted one. He loves to do that. He does things work in you know mysterious ways to us, and then finally stuff comes to light.

Speaker 2:

And so, about a year prior to that of me quitting, I had started getting more into essential oils, holistic health, being more proactive, because it was really important for me to teach my kids that there's other ways to approach things versus trying to put a bandaid on it, versus just taking a medication for things. And so I started getting into just holistic health, and I then started teaching oil classes as a hobby. I was like, huh, my husband will stay home with the kids on Thursday night, I'll go teach a class, hang out with some awesome adults and have fun talking about this hobby that I have and just educating other people, and that had actually grown into a business. So when I did quit my job, I was able to quit the same day pretty much because I had this other opportunity behind me that was able to replace my income, and so then I got to go more fully into that and really really continue with that passion for a few years.

Speaker 1:

I could go so many different directions, but I would love to explore this area of holistic health and how you got to that point of making a shift. It's a mindset shift, in my humble opinion, too, is there is something that kind of helps in that pivotal like moment and making a switch towards alternative methods of medication or how we ease ailments in our body. So was there a circumstance that led you to that moment?

Speaker 2:

My kids actually, so when I was pregnant, we didn't plan this, people.

Speaker 1:

We did not plan this.

Speaker 2:

It's super fun to talk about, though, of knowing, like, how much of an impact my kids have had on the decisions that I've made for the life that I want to help create for them, and when I was pregnant, a girlfriend of mine had recommended that we get a doula, and she also was teaching this class called the Bradley method. For those moms who know about that, it's an all natural birthing class, which some of your listeners might be like you're absolutely nuts. I have tattoos. I have piercings. However, I don't like needles, so I'm with you on that too.

Speaker 1:

by the way, Needles terrify me. So the pregnancy process for me was enlightening, enriching.

Speaker 2:

Well, the thought of an epidural, just I have it's a weird thing. I have things about like spines and it's just I'm strange and just the thought of getting an epidural was really freaking me out. And, of course, when you're pregnant with twins, that's what doctors were pushing on me the entire time of okay, well, let's just schedule your C-section right now. I'm like, no, I want to try a natural birth. Nope, we're just going to schedule it. Okay, well, I don't want an epidural. Well, we're still going to give you one, we'll give you a walking epidural. And I just I felt like they weren't listening to me and I'm not super. I know things happen. I know that we can all have the perfect birthing plan laid out and it doesn't always go that way right.

Speaker 2:

However, we did go through a lot of doctors. We did find one. It's a long story, but he ended up leaving the practice when I was like 34 weeks pregnant and he was the doctor that I was like. He's aligned, he understands, he's listening to me, we have a plan in case this plan doesn't work. And he left and it was a stressful time of my pregnancy, because when you're pregnant with twins, too, you can go at any time.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but when we were taking the Bradley Method course, I had said something about you know, really not wanting an epidural and one of the girls in there said well, I heard essential oils can help you, you know, relax during your birth and I was like I will try everything, including standing on my head, if I don't have to have a needle in my back. So I started looking into it, ended up getting some oils from someone and I did have them throughout my pregnancy. I mean, my husband was running back and filling up the diffuser. I had nurses coming in being like we're not working with you, but we heard your room smelled really good and we had to come check it out.

Speaker 1:

Thank you.

Speaker 2:

And even my doula came in you know, I was in labor for over 24 hours and she came in. She goes Did you get the drugs? And I said no, she's like you, are so calm right now. So I knew that they worked.

Speaker 1:

However, she's like you are so calm right now.

Speaker 2:

So I knew that they worked. However, when I went back home, I then was like oh my gosh, now they let me leave with these two kids. Like who let me do this?

Speaker 1:

I don't know what I'm doing. Everybody has that very thought as they're walking out of the hospital and they're like, oh my God, All of like you've got people in and out, in and out, in and out, in and out and they're at your like constant care, and then all of a sudden you're like that's not gonna be the reality anymore.

Speaker 2:

And I have to learn how to take care of them and still shower once in a while. Like this is a lot, and the last thing I'm going to do is sit on Google and try look at all of the information about essential oil. So, even though I knew they worked, I was too overwhelmed to dig into it more, and so it wasn't until about a year after that that someone approached me and said hey, you know, I'm teaching this oil class. Do you want to come? Do you want to order some? And I was like, again, I know that they, that they work.

Speaker 2:

And at that time the house that we lived in it was all hardwood floors and I was looking into a little bit more about all the toxins we're bringing into our homes that we don't even realize because we think, well, if Target sells it, it should be fine for me. Well, it's not. Yeah. And I remember watching my kids um crawl across our hardwood floor and I was thinking what did I use on that last time to clean? Because whatever I used on there, they're absorbing that through their skin, especially their feet. And so that's when we kind of started getting into like all right, we do want to swap some things out. I do want to look into these oils more. And then again I saw this really cool ripple effect happen where we had like no sick days, which when you have toddlers, I mean you, they're germ magnets, I mean they still are sometimes, but um.

Speaker 2:

so that's kind of how it all happened is because I wanted to understand more about the things that we're bringing into our homes, and I wanted to give my kids new strategies and tools to look at things proactively versus being reactive how a lot of us are in society.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, the reactiveness to. I mean, if you, if you loop that in with our Western cultural approach to the healthcare system and instant gratification as well. Like, you get sick, sick and you want that instant relief. Yeah, nowadays, if you try to go into the healthcare system, that is not a reality. No, instant gratification is not. You're going to be waiting, yeah, First and foremost, and then also you, by the time you actually see a doctor, and then they're prescribing something to you. It's days, your day's out.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, oh, absolutely, and I hope your listeners don't mistake this. I'm not saying that one drop of lavender is going to fix everything. I am very grateful for modern medicine. I think that there's definitely a place in it. My mom had a heart attack a few years ago and she wouldn't be here if it wasn't for modern medicine. Um, however, I think if we were taking a more proactive approach, we could reduce those doctor visits and we could reduce those medication. If we're looking holistically at everything kind of that we're doing and essential oils and holistic health can be a piece of that puzzle to help doing and essential oils and holistic health can be a piece of that puzzle to help Totally.

Speaker 1:

I think my eyes were open when I started working with a health coach who you might know actually she's in the Forest Lake area, cece Clark. Yeah, I do know her. So I was working with her for about a year and a half, maybe two years, prior to getting pregnant and then during my pregnancy too, and I just loved her approach to like the wellness wheel and that it's not always just about like going to the doctor, it's. You can take these other approaches to your health. And then I just want to give a shout out to Cece because she was instrumental through my pregnancy.

Speaker 1:

Like instrumental, especially as it pertained to the ways that I was thinking about my body but then what I was putting into my body, what I was putting on my body, yes, and mindset as well, because I think mindset can be a really big thing as you're going through pregnancy. But then, just in general, yes, proactiveness, yeah, in maintaining some sickness, maintaining just more preventative ways, I suppose. And how you approach health, yeah, I feel like I'm kind of all over the place right now, but hopefully you're following my train of thought, no, absolutely Well, and even just, you know, being more proactive.

Speaker 2:

I mean, think about a doctor visit, especially like if your child gets an earache in the middle of the night. You don't you're going to have to get them up, get them dressed, drive to the ER, wait for hours. Potentially you're spending a ton of money, most likely for that bill, even if you have insurance, and then you're getting prescribed a medication. I mean, there's so much time and energy and money that go into it that what if we could take a different approach to eliminate even one of those visits a year would be instrumental for so many families on so many different levels.

Speaker 1:

So, in taking this approach, then how have you seen that impact your let's start with your family, but then in obviously having this as the as a business, how it's impacted other families too.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so I mean, obviously I saw the effect on our family, otherwise I wouldn't have went out there and taught classes about it. You know I was. I remember being like, oh my gosh, we haven't had a sick day in a long time, and this feels really weird. But I feel so much better, my mental clarity is better, my focus is better, Our house smells better and it's that toxic load that we were lifting off of ourselves that we didn't realize. And so, of course, it was instrumental for for our family, I mean even my kids now they're 10, and you know my daughter, you know she's getting some, some acne now, and last night I was like, okay, like let's put some tea tree oil on that to help dry it out. I mean, so they know how to start utilizing it too, and it's not me doing it for them. They just instinctively know, like during the summer, mom, where's the lavender? I got a mosquito bite. I mean they just are already kind of ingrained in that thinking, which is awesome for me to see.

Speaker 2:

And then, of course, in my business, it's just so powerful to be able to give people these tools, especially if they do have health issues or they feel like they've been really burned down with their toxic load or their mental clarity, and you can help them find simple, practical solutions. I tell people this doesn't mean you have to go take out every single product in your house and get rid of it and replace it Like do baby steps. This is your journey. You get to decide how fast or slow you want to go with it. It's just that education is power and it's all about empowerment, not perfection. And so how can we take little steps towards being the type of mom, the type of person, the type of fill in the blank that you want to be, without thinking that you have to follow someone else's path exactly?

Speaker 1:

Pardon me. So something that I'm thinking about is, in having the tenure that you did in what you were doing before in marketing and then making this transition into the entrepreneurial world, did you feel like, in reflection and looking back, did you feel like you went through any sort of stages of grief? Does that make sense? Because I think about the undoing that I needed to do the unlearning and I literally equate it to stages of grief. When I do the unlearning, and like I literally equate it to like stages of grief when I left the mortgage industry, like I knew without a shadow of a doubt that that is what I needed to do, but I also knew that it was gonna. What came with that is an identity shift that meant kind of peeling back the onion layers, so on, so forth. So I I personally like to equate it to stage going through the stages of grief and it just came to me like hey, I want to ask you if that was something that you personally went through as well yeah.

Speaker 2:

So I had worked at the marketing company for seven years a little over seven and literally anytime I went to an event, anyone who knew about the business, they knew I was the right hand person, and so I definitely went through that identity crisis where I was like now I have to step out on my own. That feels scary, and now I have to reteach people who I am, because I'm no longer the sidekick over there. I'm on my own doing my own thing, and you know it was. It was interesting. There are some people who I reached out to you know, after I left and they're, you know, very hesitant to talk to me or, you know, would be like, well, I'm not sure if I can do that type of thing, because I'm connected to you know, the owner, and it was it.

Speaker 2:

It I don't know if I want to say it made me angry, but it definitely like took me back because I was like wait a minute, like you, you know what I was going through, you knew what was happening, and now I'm reaching out to you and you're kind of acting like it just felt very fake then in the moment, I remember having such a weight lifted off of me, though I mean I felt so much happier and amazing.

Speaker 2:

But there was that identity crisis. There was the oh my gosh, did I make the wrong decision? I talked to a friend. I said maybe I'll just go back and she was like you don't need to, why are you even thinking about that? I'm so glad she put me in my place Because now I mean where my business is now and kind of the pivots that I've made over the last couple of years is exactly where I'm supposed to be, but it's really scary. So I think yeah, I think I went through a lot of the different stages of grief, but that identity piece was definitely the hardest to wrap my head around.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. So how long have you been in that entrepreneurial?

Speaker 2:

space with the essential oils. Yeah, so I still teach about oils. I still include them in my current business right now. Um, so I'm always educating about um. They're always in my background when I'm I'm on my computer. You know people will be like are those essential oils back there? I'm like, yep, they are. Um, I say you know, you can't look anywhere in our house without seeing a product from the company because we just we truly do use it all the time.

Speaker 1:

It's a part of you.

Speaker 2:

It's like it is.

Speaker 1:

You have branded yourself as such, and so why wouldn't it be in the background? You're like it's, this is who I am. Yeah, I love it. So you've been. I'm sorry, catch me up again, it's since when? So?

Speaker 2:

full-time since 2018. So started it about a year prior to that. As that hobby grew into, the business went out on my own 2018, and really dove into the essential oil part.

Speaker 1:

Okay, wonderful. Now I know that you have other businesses within what you do for the essential oil business as well, so let's talk about, um, like chronologically, what that looks like, and then I'm. I will have more questions from there, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Awesome. Uh. So yeah, 2018 went full time. Um, it was a big year for us. I mean, my husband had got a promotion at work and we ended up moving into our new to us home and there were just a lot of things happening and it was great and fast forward 2020, which don't know if anyone remembers that year you know and I, before the pandemic hit, I went through some personal trauma, and so when I say like 2020 was a hard year for me, I usually get the reaction of like yeah, join the club and I'm

Speaker 2:

like, yeah, I understand that, but this is before the pandemic and the pandemic was just like an extra cherry on top. Plus, we had some other like family health issues that went on um, for, like, my side of the family so it was it was a really heavy Um, but went through that trauma and it really threw me through a loop for my mental health and, um, my emotions and my marriage. I wasn't sure if that was going to survive and there were just a lot of things. And there are definitely days that I was like I just want to crawl in bed and I don't want to get up. And then I remembered that I had two small kids that I had to take care of. Yeah, you know, that's just the choice that we have to make as moms is like gosh, I don't want to do this and I know that I need to because they're depending on me.

Speaker 2:

And so, fast forward about a year and a half, I will say that I kind of stepped away from my business a little bit. I wasn't as active in it because I needed that time to just try to collect myself and heal. And about a year and a half into the healing journey, I still felt like something was not right inside of me. I had been doing therapy and my husband and I were in marriage therapy and I just remember feeling like there is something that I have to do to fix me, because there's nothing that anyone else can say or do to do it to fix me. And even though I didn't break myself, I had to be the one to put myself back together. And so, through the encouragement of a friend which I didn't know this was even really out there I ended up enrolling in an outpatient intensive therapy program for anxiety, depression and PTSD. And when I say intensive, oh my gosh. First couple of weeks I was doing 15 hours of therapy a day, between individual and group.

Speaker 1:

Wow.

Speaker 2:

It was a lot.

Speaker 1:

Wow, 15 hours a day, 15 a week, oh sorry. Did I misspeak, it felt like 15 hours a day. Sometimes I'm like I might have misheard, but yeah, that I mean still, that's intense, yes, incredibly intense. However, keep sharing more, because I want to know, like we talked off air, about the peaks and the valleys that we experience as entrepreneurs, but as mothers as well, and in making life's, about choices, right Like in making that really incredible decision, because I can't help but feel from you that in making that decision, it really kind of it probably helped allow a pivot to happen.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but talk us through like making that decision and how you felt, like it carved a different pathway for you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah Well, it completely changed everything and I just want to share with your listeners to like, yes, it was intense and I would make jokes when I went to group and be like I have a therapy hangover. I don't want to talk about my feelings anymore, and there was still this little part of me when I started of. Am I worthy of this? Should I be doing this? I should be spending more time with my kids, or we don't need to be spending the money on this. There are people out there who have worse problems than I that I am taking a spot in this program for.

Speaker 2:

And should I be doing this? And finally I got to the point of like no, I should be, I deserve to do this, not only for myself, but for my kids as well. And so, again, it was so scary. I had so much self doubt, so much negative talk at the beginning of it and it was one of the best things I had done for myself and for my family. So I was in the program for about four months and I remember the last day I was like crying. I was like what am I going to do without you guys? Like this feels so odd now, even though I've only known you for you know, four months.

Speaker 2:

But during that time, when I was in that therapy program, I was learning so many different tools and techniques that I was in the back of my head thinking why did I have to go through trauma in order to learn this? Like this feels insane to me that we don't just know this as secondhand stuff. And so in my oil class I decided to do a class called the parent toolbox and I decided to incorporate not just the oils but also these therapeutic concepts and techniques that I had started using. My kids then saw me using them, so they started using them. It changed my relationship with my kids. It changed my relationship with myself, with my husband, his relationship with our kids. So, again, I saw this really cool ripple effect and when I was done giving those classes, I would hear from moms all the time of why don't we know this? Yeah, why are we not teaching our kids this? And even empty nesters who would say, wow, I really wish I would have had these tools when my kids were younger, because they probably think all I did was yell when they were children and I thought, okay, there's something here, there is a need to get this information out there.

Speaker 2:

I don't pretend to be a therapist, I don't pretend to be a counselor. I, you know, I'm very clear about my my lines in that. However, um, especially with the pandemic, I've actually talked to a friend who's a therapist and, you know, was kind of asking her like is this okay that I'm sharing this information? And she goes we are so packed with waiting lists after the pandemic. She's like it's great if you're out there sharing the basic knowledge so we can get to the actual trauma when they come see us. Um, and so, yeah, I pivoted my business. I rebranded to the parent toolbox, started my podcast Mom Essentials, and then I developed the calm approach to confident parenting and dove into parent coaching, helping parents one on one just build those better bonds, feel better communication within their home, strengthen just everything with their kids and, at the end of the day, just raise some really amazing humans.

Speaker 1:

So in all of this kicked off after COVID, yeah, okay, and so for call it for five years almost, or probably about five years going on.

Speaker 2:

Five years, well just actually about two years, so I didn't do my intensive therapy until 2021. And then you know, I was scared. I was kind of, you know, nervous to go out there and rebrand myself again and share this information. But the more people that I talk to, the more parents that I help. I know that it's so needed out there. So, we're going on about?

Speaker 1:

yeah, like two years, two and a half Okay there. So we're going on about, yeah, like two, two years, two and a half Okay. I want to talk about the rebranding part of things, cause I think that what we as mothers, maybe CEOs of the house, like we like to put labels on things right and and stick with the labels, Like identity, is a huge, huge piece to who we are, like indefinitely as women. But I think that it's important to talk about, like, this process of like reinventing yourself and rebranding yourself, and that it's okay to do that and it doesn't matter where you're at in life, you just have to own it. Let's talk about this. I want to talk about this.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, no this is not on the question. Yeah, what a light question you just asked no.

Speaker 2:

I think it's something that definitely needs to be talked about, though, because, as moms, there's so many external messages that we see and that we believe that we've then taken internally and we believe so we have a ton of self-doubt. We feel like if we are focused on our career, that makes us a bad mom, but if we're a stay-at-home mom, then that makes us bad because we're not bringing in an income. So I think, getting rid of these labels and knowing that two things can be true at the same time I can be a great mom and build a business 100%. I can be a stay-at-home mom and add a ton of value to my home 100%, you know. So it's a lot of undoing, it's a lot of unwiring, and when I work with parents, I always say I work with the parents because we have a harder time changing our behaviors, because they've been concreted in us so much than our kids do.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh, you know A hundred percent.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we we my husband and I consistently have conversations in in our dynamic of how we learned through our parents good, bad or indifferent we have learned how we then decide we want to parent in a circumstance or a situation, and so sometimes it's great, sometimes there's room for improvement or area of opportunity, and I think that if you can understand that, sometimes it does require a peeling back of the onion layer or, in this circumstance, a reinvention of how you approach a circumstance, whether it be in business, in life or with your children as a mom yeah, yeah, and I wish more moms out there had that confidence just to be like this is who I am, this is what I want to do, and understanding that not everyone is going to see it the way you do and not everyone's going to agree.

Speaker 2:

So one of the quotes that I learned in therapy that I actually got tattooed on myself is all of me with me, all of them with them. Say it one more time All of me with me, all of them with them, them with them. Say it one more time All of me with me, all of them with them. Meaning I can only control myself and my thoughts and my actions and my reactions. I cannot take other people's reactions on myself.

Speaker 1:

Have you, have you watched anything of Mel Robbins? Let them Okay. What do you think about all of it, do you? I mean this really? You're like I kind of already had that. I think it's a much shorter tattoo than I got it is, but that's so beautiful, it's like beautifully stated right and so it's. It's a very it's intimate to you.

Speaker 1:

It is who like stuff that that you've learned and so can you imagine like you're like, I'm just going to actually, can we cross this out and go let them the let them theory? Yeah, I have. So I mean, truth be told and you know, hopefully it would be amazing if Mel Robbins someday stumbles across your podcast or my podcast and finds us having a conversation about the let them theory, but I have not really like, besides, some stuff that pops up on social media if. I'm if I'm on there and I just like I get it. But have you dove into that I?

Speaker 1:

have you, you, yeah, I have a mindset around that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I've listened to the book on audio and then I'm actually in a book study right now, so I got the book like the physical copy so that I could reread it. And I was joking with a girlfriend of mine and I'm like what the heck? I was like she is going to make millions of dollars off of two words for the next decade and she has this we're proud of you, mel.

Speaker 1:

We're so proud, so proud, and that's what I want to get to is.

Speaker 2:

You know, I could sit there and be like, well, I can't believe she did that. Well, guess what? I didn't do anything. I got it tattooed on myself.

Speaker 2:

I like to share people you know the quote to give them inspiration. But look at, she took it and she ran with it and I'm sure that there were people thinking you know, oh, what do you mean? Let them like, that's so crazy. You know why. You know, having all these remarks and she didn't, I'm sure she did let it get to her a little bit, but then remembered, let them. They're not the one in my driver's seat, they're not the one living my life, and I'm going to let them have their reactions and their emotions over there and I'm not going to burden myself with them.

Speaker 2:

Which, as moms, we do so much. We take things that other people say or not getting invited to something, or maybe our girlfriend says like, oh no, I can't make it and then we internalize that for so long, instead of okay, let them Like that's, that's fine. You know she does say too, which, if there's moms listening who are trying to build a business and feel like they should already be so much further along or more successful because with social media that's such a common trend of like. Well, this person said they made a million dollars on that course. Well, they didn't tell you about the 10 other courses that they had. That flopped, yeah, but in the book Mel does talk about how when she started her profession and her speaking I mean she was doing it in church basements there were probably a couple people there and now she speaks to crowds of thousands. So every little step forward is still a step forward and we need to remember that we're doing amazing things out there and we just need to keep going and it'll come. It'll come.

Speaker 1:

The, the being bold in what you want. I think, like I personally feel like I have these moments of just having ultimate boldness, yeah, and then other times I have the I am, am I enough? Do I deserve this? Like, what are some ways that you have worked with that? Because I'm feeling from you like this is something that you're proclaiming, like you're proclaiming it for yourself, and how can other women who are listening right now like just take a bit of what you have learned and kind of fold it internally within? I mean, you've alluded to like the advice that you just gave is beautiful, but I want to hear how you personally like really flowed into that mindset.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, um, I wish I had like this really amazing wisdom, like just super good quote to give you, because it is still a struggle for me some days and I still think am I enough? I mean, if you're in entrepreneurship, especially you. There are days that you're like I'm going to go get a nine to five, like what am I doing? Why am I doing this? And then you need to keep reminding yourself of like I have something to share that people need and they want. There are people out there hoping and praying for what you have to offer and we need to keep that mindset, especially on those hard days, had shared in a leadership group that I'm in, and sometimes I'm like, okay, I don't know, but I'm like, nope, I'm going to listen to it, I'm going to see what happens, because, worst case scenario, nothing changes. Sure, best case scenario, everything changes for the better.

Speaker 1:

What have been some guiding principles for you? I know that you've mentioned you're a faithful woman. Yeah, how has that played in for you as a guiding principle?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm going to be honest. When, prior to my trauma, I was getting a lot deeper into my faith, I was in a house group for church. I had gotten baptized. I felt really strong in it. After my trauma, I stepped away a little bit.

Speaker 2:

There was some shame and guilt around my trauma, that I knew in my rational mind that people weren't going to judge me in my house group or if I went to church. In my emotional mind I felt like everyone was and it was terrifying to me. So I'm still working on getting back to that spot of where I was before, which has been a long journey, but I mean, I definitely have my faith in that. Another thing that I took from my therapy that I encourage others to do is that writing down when we have these negative thoughts, writing down when we have these thoughts of dis, you know, like I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy. Why am I doing this? Who am I to be out there educating about this or sharing this? Um, and I tell people, write it down and come back to it later and then find evidence to prove it wrong.

Speaker 1:

Physically write it down. Physically write it down Cause I was thinking like, oh, I bet there's a lot of girlies out there who are like, I'll just take it in my notes on my phone app. No, physically write it down.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean, if notes app is the only way you can do it, then do that, but physically write it down. And come back to the evidence. I'll be completely honest and humble right now. Um, I did a a session a couple of weeks ago. It was a paid thing that people joined on and there was some good engagement at the beginning. Through the rest of it, there was very little engagement and I kept asking does anyone have any questions? At the end, I asked does anyone have any questions? And even though at the end people are like, oh thanks, this was great, I appreciate it. Internally I'm like, oh my gosh, I just bombed. Like who am I Like? What am I doing? I'm going to start putting out my resume tomorrow.

Speaker 1:

Like I was in a pity party.

Speaker 2:

The next morning, again, god wink, I opened up an email from an owner of a counseling center who I kind of partnered with on it and her business partner was on the call and she goes how did it go? So-and-so, said you did awesome and I was like you don't know how much I needed to hear that. So sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our own negative thought and beliefs that we need those little things to pull us out. But even us writing down evidence of like I'm not enough. I am enough. Look at the ways that I've changed people's lives.

Speaker 2:

Look at the parents that have those aha moments when I tell them how important a family meeting is that they didn't think about before, and so sometimes we need to come back to that and on those hard days we need to go back to that list and we need to keep adding to that evidence and we need to sometimes, you know, call a friend and say I'm having a hard day, even as moms like I'm having a hard day. I don't want to do this anymore.

Speaker 1:

This is a perfect, perfect segue into what has your village of support looked like. I know that you've talked a lot about taking those steps and in in some cases it was an, it was the necessary steps to therapy. But what? What were some of the other methods of um that support for you?

Speaker 2:

yeah, well, personally, when going through my trauma, um, I was very guarded on who I told. I think that's really important when you're going through something hard knowing that you don't have to be an open book to everyone, that you get to pick and choose who you know is going to be in your corner to support you in all of the ways, not just letting you vent and have this pity party all the time, like being able to challenge you when they know that you need it and it's the right time. So you know, my village was super important and you know it. You start to understand who's really there for you and who you can confide in.

Speaker 2:

I love my mom. She is one of my best friends. It is weird if we do not, if we go like two days without talking. However, when I went into my therapy, I remember being really nervous and I couldn't figure out why. I was nervous to tell her, and I told her and her response was oh, that sounds awful. And I'm like, okay, mental note, we are not going to talk to mom about this and we've talked about it since, you know, and it's come to light, um, but I think it's important to make sure you understand who you can trust and who you can't.

Speaker 2:

Also, you know, really taking that, let them or all of me with me, all of them with them carry you through some of those relationships, knowing that in every season things are going to change. You know, in just because we're not close to people who are in our village before, it doesn't mean anything bad happened. It's just different seasons of life and people grow apart. Sometimes they come back together, um. But one of my favorite sayings is instead of you know, find your village, um, it's find your elephants.

Speaker 1:

Hmm, tell me more about it, cause I I'm not familiar at herds of elephants. Yeah, stay together as a pack, is that something? Something to that? Like I know this, but I can't quite recollect it.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, sure, more yeah. So elephants when a mama elephant is having her baby, the other elephants will surround her and they will kick up dust, they will make noise so that they know that she's protected from any predator. And in motherhood, sometimes we're that elephant in the middle needing protection in our most vulnerable times and sometimes we're that elephant on the outside kicking up and making that noise for the other one inside.

Speaker 2:

And so I think it's really important of like who can surround us and uplift us and support us in that super vulnerable time, whether it's that you're just having a really hard day with your child or you're going through something really traumatic. So, looking for those people and not being afraid, if you know, putting yourself out there to find new types of your groups of elephant, not always having to stay where you thought you were stuck before.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and that can be a challenge. I mean, I have I've found myself going through these, these evolutions of self and evolutions of, or seasons, so to speak, of um friends, and it can be tough, especially if you um friends, and it can be tough, especially if you were really close at one point, and then it's just you start to see this shift happen. So what has that looked like for you and how have you worked through some of that in terms of the seasons of life that you've gone through?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean there's definitely that's happening in some of the friendships that I have. You know, the girls that I went to college with. I'm still really close to one, but I don't see her as much as I was, you know would love to. Um, there's other, I mean they're having kids and their babies are a lot younger than mine and they're busy in their life season too. Um, and I can have the perspective of it's nothing bad that happened, it's just different seasons of life.

Speaker 2:

But then really finding I mean I have friends who are younger than me. I have a friend that we joke all the time that she could be my mom if she was maybe not so good in high school. So I mean, and really taking the wisdom from both sides of it, when I was in marketing, one of our clients once said something along the lines of a seven-year-old can learn from a 70-year-old and a 70-year-old can learn from a seven-year-old, and so really being able to take wisdom from people's different experience and life, from people's different experience and life, and I think you know, as we grow older we understand that the quality is so much important than the quantity.

Speaker 1:

I was a quantity girl, I was a quantity slash like it would be quality, yeah. But I started to realize that if I what's a delicate way to put this If I, if I really wanted to, to continue to like level set, then the quality matched what the quantity was going to ever look like. If that makes any sense. Yeah, yeah for sure.

Speaker 2:

And again I mean it's's. It's hard now being a mom and watching my children go through different friendship things, um, and not trying to trying to guide them without telling them what to do. Um, you know, who knew that fourth grade was gonna bring friend drama already? But here we are, more with my daughter than my son and you you know, there there are some people that she hangs out with. That I'm like, okay, like I will, I will be welcoming, um, and and I'm going to maybe keep a little bit of an eye.

Speaker 2:

However, I'm really trying to instill in my daughter like that reminder of like we are who we hang out with, um, you know cause, of course there was an incident that happened and my parents were like, well, you need to just have her stop hanging out with that person. And I was like, yeah, how well did that happen in high school for me? Like what was I doing? I was lying, I was sneaking out.

Speaker 2:

I wasn't telling you where I was going, and so I'm really trying to instill, like these seeds of wisdom, but allowing our kids to make their own choices, yeah, um of like, hey, we are who we hang out with and I want you to remember that, as you're choosing your friends versus like you can't hang out with that person. They're a bad influence yeah, it's.

Speaker 1:

It's interesting because you, you want to help guide them in a, in a positive direction, without overstep, like totally overstepping, right Cause the you need to versus hey, just a friendly reminder yeah, and you're like you and taking this like um, how did you phrase it for your gent like a gentler approach, Is that or what? Sorry?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, no, you're totally fine. Yeah, so, yeah, so. So I the the approach that I use is my calm approach to confident thank you.

Speaker 1:

So calm, yeah, that's so a calmer approach versus like the demanding and like pushing a specific direction. I think is is incredible and we like we're probably around the same age like our parents and how they parented us is going to. It just looked different than what it does look now, and there's so many different approaches out there. But I do think, just for regulation for our own regulation, but for our children's regulation too if we can work to really try our best to calmly approach the situation, it's going to serve so much better in the long run than not. Right, yeah, loving and gentle and calm.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

All in one fell swoop. Yeah, easier said than done sometimes so what? What has that looked like for you? Because I am curious. Um, it does take like. Parenting is such a humble experience, angie, it's so humbling I. I mean, I've got a two-year-old right now, but then I've got my bonus boys that are eight and 10.

Speaker 1:

And so I've got this range right and that can be really interesting in itself. But why I mentioned it's humbling is because you you do this like deep dive into like who you are as a person and how you approach a circumstance with your children, child or children and then realize, ooh, I didn't like how I approached that circumstance, so how, how has that looked for you in taking this calm approach? I can imagine that there was kind of a like peeling back of the onion layers for yourself to get to that point.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. Um yeah, oh gosh. I could go in a million different directions with this, but I will try stay on track here. Um, one of the things that I really learned about myself through my trauma is that I'm a fixer. So when the trauma happened I was like, okay, this is what I'm going to do to get through it. I mean, I even went into the therapist and I was like I looked this up and it says I should be over this within 18 to 24 months. Where am I at? How long do I have to go? Like, tell me?

Speaker 1:

And she, of course, looked at me and was like I can't tell you that.

Speaker 2:

Um. So it was definitely a humbling experience. Personally, on like, oh my gosh, I started realizing all of the things that my parents had handed down to me not intentionally. I all of the things that my parents had handed down to me not intentionally. I always start out everything to you know, when I'm working with parents, saying I'm not shaming our parents because they did the best they could with the tools that they had. 100% yes, we now have the opportunity to strengthen those tools or maybe upgrade them a little bit.

Speaker 1:

That's a very diplomatic way to approach that so good.

Speaker 2:

So for me personally I mean I wasn't like a huge yeller, but I would yell, I would get really frustrated. I would tell my kids you know, stop it. It's not important All these messages that I was told as a child that really helped me not listen to my own body and not understand my emotions. And so, as I was developing this calm approach really quick for your listeners, the C stands for compassionate communication, a is awareness and accountability, l is learning, emotional regulation and M is mindful modeling.

Speaker 1:

That's so good. There's an acronym for everything, right?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1:

I came from an acronym world like mortgage was all about acronyms so I'm like, yeah, I can get back behind this.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I wish that I could say that I do it perfect all of the time.

Speaker 2:

I don't, because no parent is perfect and the truth is is that our kids don't care about having perfect parents, they just want their parents, yep. And so you know, really diving into like each of the steps, and I always say, like there's so many different parenting styles out there that this necessarily I don't look as the calm approach as a parenting style. I say they're foundational pieces and parents get to mold them based on what they need and want for their families. So I have been able to see how I had to relearn things from my childhood and I know that's what a lot of other parents have to do as well to break those generational cycles. And when you were talking a little bit about like we want to jump in really quick to our kids and you know we want to tell them what to do with these friends, because we can see it from a different perspective. That's one of the biggest things that with the communication um, us parents we like to word vomit a lot on our kids.

Speaker 2:

They come to us with a problem and we were like oh, we got this, do this, do that do this and then it actually shuts down our kids and that's something that I've really had to work on as well, because it breaks our mommy hearts when our kids are suffering or they're sad, or they come home and say so and so didn't want to sit with me, and we want our mama bear to come out and be like I'm getting a message for their mom, right now, but we really need to take a step back because we're actually doing a disservice to our kids when we're trying to mow out all the obstacles for them.

Speaker 2:

And so I don't know if this is a little bit of a tangent, but I don't know if you've watched that show, adolescence, on Netflix. No, there are a lot of different threads in that series. It's very powerful. It's hard to watch as a parent at times, but in that series it's very powerful. It's hard to watch as a parent at times.

Speaker 2:

But one of the things is really this communication breakdown between parents and kids and when our kids come to us, and sometimes they want us just to hold space for them, but we want to jump into the fix it mode of do this, and so I teach parents a lot on the help versus heard. Literally asking your kids do you want me just to listen or would you like me to help you with this situation can make such a big difference, because that is setting a sense of safety for our kids, where they're going to be able to come and talk to us about those hard things. Versus when I was growing up and I remember I got lost in the cities one time. I was like a new driver had gotten lost. But in my mind I was like my dad knows everything and he works in the cities all the time for his job, so he's going to tell me how to do this.

Speaker 2:

I remember calling him and saying like, oh, I'm lost. I think it was like in St Paul somewhere. He was like are you kidding me? Lock all your doors, what are you doing? How did you get down, freaked out? I'm like do you ever think I'm going to want to call you again to tell you that I'm lost because you just like ring me out on the phone. Like you know, I missed a turn. It was an honest mistake. But it's just like those little things that we can kind of go back and pivot our approach to it, like the help versus hurt. Next time don't try fix the problem for your child, just try to hold space for them and let them vent. And again, we're not going to get it perfect. It's not about perfection, it's about empowerment and we need to give ourself grace when we don't do it perfectly and learn how to approach that with our kids as well.

Speaker 1:

I'm like, okay, I see areas of opportunity for myself, the fixer in me, the mama bear in me, um, you know, especially with the 10 and the eight-year-old when circumstances come up. And then, undoubtedly with you know, maddie, who is biologically mine, and I like see stuff. As you know, she's in her toddler phase and I just want to be able to like scoop her up.

Speaker 1:

But luckily I have a husband who's been around the block a couple of times and he's he does the hey, you've got to let her fall like not actually fall, fall, but like you've got to let her learn on her own, otherwise she's always going to be looking to you to be there for her and to fix things, and that's not going to help her in the long run, like he's like our job is to ensure that we are raising great kids, not assholes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, basically like so that that can be challenging in the environment that you're in too, whether it's like location or it's just societal norms or what we're seeing on social media or different approaches to parenting. But I think that the calm approach is like something like you can take maybe bits and pieces of, or take the whole thing, but all around it's just helping us as parents to guide in a little bit calmer way, and I love that. I love it. Okay. So I want to. I want to back up for a moment. So you mentioned that you do the, you'll do the essential oil classes, but then partner you partner it with the parent toolbox, like right, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Or is that how it started?

Speaker 1:

And there's been an evolution.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so I started, you know, leading with oils all the time and then once I realized, like this, information about different approaches, especially within our family, it needed to happen. I lead now more with the calm approach. Again, I, you know, incorporate the oils. You know I'm happy to teach clients about it. You know, share some different ideas, especially if they want to be more holistic. I actually have a custom blend called the parent helper that I give all of my clients as an introduction to essential oils. Typically, even though it's supposed to be for the parents, I will get comments back of, like my kids stole it from me. They really like it too. I'm like perfect, they can be using it as well, and so now it's just one of the tools in the toolbox that I share about. So I have some exciting things coming up too, with some products that are going to come out shortly.

Speaker 2:

But, yeah, just really trying to look at holistically, like, what are different options? Because, as you said, with the calm approach, it's foundational pieces. Every family is different, every child is different, so the tools that I use with my daughter are different than the tools that I use with my son, and so we get to pick and choose and decide again what's best for our family. What pieces are we going to take? Sometimes that means, yeah, we do want the essential oils as part of that toolbox. Other times, you know, we don't need that piece of it for our family right now. But maybe we need more of the family planner that will be coming out soon. Or maybe we need, you know, more of this one-on-one support. So, again, it's really customizing it.

Speaker 1:

You just dropped a little nugget of information there and I don't know if the listeners may have caught it, because I was like did she just say that? She just said that, so you have something that's going to be coming out. It's the family planner. Are you in a position right now where you can talk about that? Yeah, okay, yeah, let's talk about it, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So one of the pieces that again I saw work so well for our family and it is usually a light bulb moment for other families when I talk about it, but it is in the first step of the compassionate communication. I always remind people when you were in elementary school and you did the telephone game. It was super funny. It would start at one end.

Speaker 2:

It'd end at the other, and everyone would laugh because the message was so misconstrued. It's not so funny when it happens in our houses, though, and miscommunication can happen a lot, and it breaks down connection. It breaks down a ton of things, so one of the practices that I really teach families to do is just take 10, 15 minutes every week and do a family meeting. Look at the week ahead for a few different reasons. One, kids really thrive on schedules. It's just the truth most of the time, so we want to make sure everyone is prepared for what that week looks like, especially for blended families If they're going back and forth to different houses. Um, also, there's a chance to really have some great conversations. What went well last week? What are you excited about this week? Starting that open conversation that doesn't feel a bunch of pressure around it?

Speaker 2:

Sure, we look at our meal plan coming up of. I don't know about you, but I get stressed out being the mom talking about roles and all the things that we're doing meal planning, so we look at like, hey, everyone give a meal idea, everyone needs to contribute to this. And then we look at responsibilities, too, of you know, what are the responsibilities in the household that need to be done this week and who is responsible for them. Now, when we're able to go and look at this all as a family and be on the same page, we're able to also make sure that we're spending quality time together. If we have a really busy week and we get another invitation, it's going to be a lot easier to say no once we can see our week ahead of us.

Speaker 2:

Or, oh, you know what, we don't have a lot going on. Why don't we plan to go do this? Or you know, we got invited to that party. Yes, we can do that without overwhelming everyone in the family. So, although I already have kind of a sheet that I give my clients, I'm creating a family planner. I already have kind of a sheet that I give my clients. I'm creating a family planner. It is going to have the weekly family outline as well as kind of more of an overview of the week that you can time block if that's something you'd like to do. But in the beginning of it we're going to go over a few other things like creating core values for your family and setting up goals for your family. So it'll be coming out soon. I'm very excited about it. I've been getting a lot of great feedback from people um who who say like yeah, this will.

Speaker 2:

this will definitely help because again we can try be intentional and we can be like oh yeah, remember we have that thing.

Speaker 2:

And then you know, the next day we have that thing and to our kids it might go in one ear and out the other, and then we get frustrated as parents of like I remember I told you that two weeks ago that we were, I mean maybe you do that with your husband, cause I still have to do that with my husband sometimes Um, but it's just a way to get everyone on the same page and it's kind of like yeah, you're family planner, so you, so you can see what's going on and you can track your goals, and there's a different challenge every week in there, there's a different question of the week to ask your kids.

Speaker 1:

How incredible, angie, that is so incredible. I will, um, I'll be sure to drop just a little note about that in the show notes, and perhaps by the time this episode airs it might have already come out, and so, um, if that's the case, maybe we'll drop a a little link in there for people to be able to get guided to the planner as well. Um, I do want to start to land the plane.

Speaker 1:

We've done, we've gone every which way, and this is like I love. I love when I have interviews like this, because it's so fruitful, you get so much out of it. I got so much out of it Also a little a couple of tips and tricks too, so I'm like this is incredible. So nice, um, but I do want to start to land the plane. Um, so you had given some advice before, earlier on in the interview, but I do want to see if you might have different advice. Um, so first, what is a piece of advice that you would give a younger version of yourself, you personally, knowing all that you know now?

Speaker 2:

I think it's that confidence piece Not being afraid to do something because of failure. We learn from failure and there are definitely times that I can look back and think gosh, I wonder what would have happened if I would have followed through with that or if I would have taken that leap of faith. So this year is definitely the year of like, being bold, taking the chances, reaching out to the people because, at the end of the day, all they can say is no. Because at the end of the day, all they can say is no. Honestly.

Speaker 1:

So it's so good. It's so good. Now, what's a piece of advice that you would give a woman listening right now that, um, because we talked a lot about reinventing yourself and kind of rebranding coming from that marketing egg angle, what's a piece of advice that you would give a woman right now from that marketing angle? What's a piece of advice that you would give a woman right now who is she's? In that gray area. She's in that gray area right now.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, don't be afraid to do it. Let them, or all of me with me, all of them with them. Again, let them as much shorter, probably easier to remember, um, but you know, don't, don't be scared to reinvent yourself or to take a stand for who you are, and don't be unapologetic if it changes.

Speaker 1:

That's so good.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

That's so good. Who would be a really good connection for you right now?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know, honestly, moms obviously, who want to, who don't want to parent how they were parented. And again, that's not saying that your childhood had to be horrible, that there had to be a lot of trauma. There's just something inside you saying, yep, I need some new tools. Otherwise, I just I love sharing the information out there. So organizations that serve parents are a great connection for me because you know they can. Your listeners maybe listen to this episode and they're like okay, I think I can apply some of that stuff. I think I know what she's talking about. But when parents do a deep dive of, you know, this is what the calm approach is. This is how it can impact your family, your relationships, your kids.

Speaker 1:

Usually they walk away being like oh, I get it now. How can people find you and get connected to you?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, they can go on my website, theparenttoolboxinfo. There you'll be able to find downloads, my podcast, of course, after you're done listening to all of Kelly's episodes, and a free 30 minute call as well.

Speaker 1:

Otherwise, on social media I'm at the parent toolbox. I love it, angie. This has been heartwarming, enlightening. I have thoroughly enjoyed all of the information that you have shared with us and for our listeners, and so thank you for carving out the time. I appreciate you, and I hope that there is somebody who's listening right now that is just in dire need of the support from Angie, and so, if that's you get connected to Angie. We'll have all of that information in the show notes. But thank you again. I appreciate you and I hope you have a great rest of the day.

Speaker 2:

Well, thank you so much, Thank you.

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Kelly Kirk

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