Reclaiming Your Hue: A Podcast for Women Rediscovering Themselves in Motherhood & Entrepreneurship
Motherhood and entrepreneurship are powerful journeys—but they can also leave women feeling drained, unseen, or lost. Like flamingos who fade while nurturing their young, women often put everyone else first and lose their own hue. Reclaiming Your Hue is about the moment when women remember their brilliance, reclaim their vibrancy, and step into who they were always meant to be. Hosted by Kelly Kirk, this podcast shares faith-led encouragement, inspiring guest stories, and practical strategies for harmonizing life, family, and business.
Why Listen / What You’ll Gain
- Inspiring stories of women who found themselves again after seasons of loss or overwhelm
- Practical tips for building businesses without sacrificing your sense of self
- Honest conversations about the challenges and beauty of motherhood + entrepreneurship
- Encouragement rooted in faith while welcoming diverse women’s voices
Listen In For: mompreneur journeys · reclaiming identity · harmonizing life & work · authentic entrepreneurship stories
Reclaiming Your Hue: A Podcast for Women Rediscovering Themselves in Motherhood & Entrepreneurship
Ep. 60 with Stephanie Sinclair & Nikki Zweber | How2Mom
Doulas, Dreams, and Destiny: Transforming Birth Experiences into Business Success
Ever wondered how the transformative moment of birth can ignite an entrepreneurial fire? In this heartfelt conversation, birth doulas Stephanie Sinclair and Nikki Zweber reveal the parallel journeys that led them from corporate careers to founding How2Mom, a business dedicated to empowering women through pregnancy, birth, and motherhood.
Stephanie shares the profound shift that occurred when her daughter was placed on her chest after years of fertility struggles. That single moment sparked a vision that would eventually lead her away from a decade-long paralegal career. "I need to make sure other women feel this," she recalls thinking, though the path from inspiration to entrepreneurship wasn't without sacrifice. From clipping coupons to working in the "nooks and crannies" of motherhood, she built her business one birth at a time while raising three children.
Meanwhile, Nikki carried the dream of becoming a doula for fifteen years before a chance meeting at a Dairy Queen—yes, really!—brought these two visionaries together. Their partnership story offers powerful lessons about trust, vulnerability, and finding your perfect business match. Through frank discussions about escape clauses, family sacrifices, and financial leaps of faith, they demonstrate how authentic connection creates thriving business relationships.
Beyond the practical aspects of entrepreneurship, this conversation dives deep into the emotional landscape of mother-entrepreneurs. Both women share their darkest moments—from postpartum depression to business heartbreak—and how these challenges ultimately strengthened their resolve. Their advice to women at similar crossroads? "Do it scared" and "Find your people."
What makes this episode particularly special is how it illuminates the thread connecting birth work to entrepreneurship: trusting your intuition. In a world overflowing with information and outside opinions, Stephanie and Nikki's mission extends beyond supporting births to helping women reclaim their inner voice—a skill that serves mothers and business owners alike.
Whether you're a mother, an entrepreneur, or simply someone navigating life's transitions, this conversation offers wisdom about embracing authenticity and finding purpose through helping others.
Connect with Stephanie and Nikki
- Website: How2Mom
- IG: @How2Mom
- Stephanie IG: @stephanie.how2mom
- Nikki IG: @doulanikkiz
- Podcast: Mom2Mom Podcast
Contact the Host, Kelly Kirk:
- Email: info.ryh7@gmail.com
Get Connected/Follow:
- IG: @ryh_pod & @thekelly.tanke.kirk
- Facebook: Reclaiming Your Hue Facebook Page
- YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@RYHReclaimingYourHue
Credits:
- Editor: Joseph Kirk
- Music: Kristofer Tanke
Thanks for listening & cheers to Reclaiming Your Hue!
Good morning ladies, good morning, good morning. So for our listeners, this is another very unique episode of Reclaiming your Hue. Normally for interviews it's one-on-one, but I have these two amazing ladies and so I want to introduce real quick. We've got Stephanie Sinclair and Nikki. How do you pronounce your last name?
Speaker 2:Zweber.
Speaker 1:Zweber. I thought so. I was like is it Zweber, Is it Zweber? But we're going to go ahead and dive in and first and foremost, I want to start with Steph.
Speaker 3:So hi, steph, hello, thank you so much for having us.
Speaker 1:I am so happy to have the two of you here. What came first for you? Was it motherhood or was it entrepreneurship?
Speaker 3:It was motherhood All right, but very quickly, within like minutes, minutes of meeting my daughter. Not necessarily my business, but the fire. The fire was lit as soon as I met Mackenzie and seeing so much more for my life Obviously, not only personally, I was forever changed becoming a mom and meeting Mackenzie and having her on my chest, but this vision of knowing other moms deserved to have the feeling and the empowerment that I received through my birth experience.
Speaker 1:Wow, yeah, I mean that's. It was pretty powerful. I actually want to dive into that moment Cause I think I can. I can empathize with that, empathize and sympathize with it. Something just shifts in you and I wish that that, and perhaps I. There is already a name out there for what that feeling is, but I want to dive into that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, let's dive into it.
Speaker 1:I know that we have a lot to unpack here, but that was such a. I mean, you came out like punching in all the right ways.
Speaker 3:So yeah, so much happened in that moment and even leading up to meeting Mackenzie, I was a paralegal for 10 years. I struggled with fertility for a couple of years with my husband and through that process, while working in corporate America, I felt very alone. I felt like there wasn't a lot of support out there. I was in my mid 20s. I often joke that, like my girlfriends would get looked at and would be pregnant.
Speaker 3:Oh my god, and we had lots of homework at home and still could not get pregnant. And so I right away noticed that there was this huge gap of support and this huge gap of care and even just that understanding of different experiences and my friends were amazing, but nobody gave them the tools to support me, and so I just ended up feeling very alone in that Fast forward through, kind of those years of committing to my body, committing to my husband and really just not letting go of this vision of like I am made to be a mom. That's always been in my blood. There was one conversation I remember having with my grandma and saying like what the heck? Like why isn't this working? Is this? Am I totally off or wrong?
Speaker 3:But luckily, through treatment and science, we were able to get pregnant with Mackenzie. And that is when I first learned about birth doulas. I had no idea, I had never really heard the term or the profession, went home to Brian from a prenatal yoga class and said I think we need to hire a doula, and he was like what's that? And I was like I have no idea but I think we need one.
Speaker 1:This does not surprise me. I love like I do have male listeners. Yes, I mean, obviously it's more female, but I think that the male listeners are those husbands, and it's just. You know. God bless their hearts. Sometimes he's like whatever you need, I just have no idea what that is and so it was just through that process we hired a doula.
Speaker 3:We really saw our birth at as being something different than I think a lot of my girlfriends had been experiencing. A lot of trauma was kind of consumed with their stories. Some of my girlfriends just wanted to put their head down and like just get through. And for whatever reason, I just envisioned this very intimate growth experience that I wanted to have with Brian, and so the help of our doula kind of got us prepared, educated and ready for this huge transformative experience.
Speaker 3:And I always want people to know that that doesn't mean everything went like perfectly as planned and there were no hiccups. But what was different than I think from the stories I was hearing from friends was we were able to make the decisions every step of the way that aligned with our values. It was like okay, we're kind of in this predicament Like okay, well, we know this is a, you know a hard no, but we know that we want to explore X, y or Z, and so the whole experience just felt very empowering. And when Mackenzie was put on my chest I looked around the room. I was surrounded by incredible midwives and nurses and my doula and, of course, my husband and I was like I need to make sure other women feel this, and that was that moment, and that was that moment.
Speaker 1:And that was that moment. That was that moment and then from that moment until the business was actually birthed.
Speaker 3:Yes, my second child.
Speaker 3:Okay. It was not until a year and a half later I did have to go back to corporate America Again. I think it's incredible when women thrive with having full-time careers outside of the home or even inside the home. For me it felt very non-authentic. It was like this is not where I'm supposed to be. I'm supposed to be at home with my child, who I felt like I had worked so hard for, and I was only seeing her one to maybe two hours a night and I just thought there's got to be more to life than this. And I also put my all into anything that I do and I kept helping these law firms grow and thrive, but my name was never on the wall and I was like this is for the bees. I don't want my name on the wall, I love it, I love it.
Speaker 1:What better way to do that than cutting your ties and going I'm going to do this for myself in a very different way, right? Obviously, you have some of the legal components that come with what you do. Yes, right, Yep, but for sure you are your own boss, which means it's your name.
Speaker 3:Yes, and what I do today and what I've been doing the last 10 years obviously looks very different than the work I did as a paralegal, but my heart has always been with helping others. I just thrive when I feel like I can partner and help other people in whatever area that they need. And so it was the scariest thing I've ever done Seriously. Even giving birth to twins was less scary. I sat down with Brian. I said I think I want to be a stay-at-home mom, because at the time I was like I just don't want to go to corporate America every day. And he was like he's an amazing husband, he's very honest. And he said I love that for you, but it's not in the cards for us.
Speaker 1:And I was like, yeah, I know I think your husband and my husband would have nice conversations. I'm pretty sure Joe had no fluff.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no fluff, no fluff. And so I said, well then, I think I want to start my own business. And he was like, okay, and he was supportive, but like, of course, kind of like in this dream type of conversation, and it wasn't that he told me no, by any means, but anytime I've been challenged, it just lights a fire where I'm like I don't know how I'm going to make this work, but I'm going to make this work. And so I left my job when Mackenzie was a year and a half, and that was in March of 2015. I went through doula training in April of 2015. And I have never looked back.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:It was like let's do this.
Speaker 1:Couple key things that I pulled from there. One you're competitive.
Speaker 3:Very, and I love it.
Speaker 1:I love it I can get back behind it. It's incredible. I can also speak to that, Like I have a little bit of parallel to what you're speaking to. I have that same feeling that's evoked if somebody says no, but I have a brief moment of doubting myself before and then I go. Well, hold on a second. I actually think I want to just do this and kick some butt and take some names while I'm doing it.
Speaker 1:So, I love it. It's so incredible. Okay, so, when you birthed your, your baby business, what year was it? Remind me 2015. 2015. And it's been. Can you share with the listeners what the name of your business is? Yes, how to mom?
Speaker 3:how to mom. We empower and honor moms in so many ways. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, we have another gal here in the room and that's Nikki. Um she, she has a story to tell also, and then we're going to come converge the two of these stories together, and I think we're going to do a lot of bouncing back and forth, because there's still some stuff that I want to circle back to from your story. Stuff, Nikki, it's your turn. I love it.
Speaker 2:I don't know how I'm going to follow that, but I'm going to try. Oh, I think.
Speaker 1:I think like remember, everybody's got their own story and it's incredible and powerful in its own way shape and form. And so what came first for you? Was it motherhood or was it entrepreneurship?
Speaker 2:Mother and form. And so what came first for you, Was it motherhood or was it entrepreneurship? Motherhood for me as well, yes, and so my entrance into motherhood. I felt really lucky because at the time when I was pregnant with my first daughter, I was so exposed to all of these different holistic Western meets Eastern.
Speaker 2:You know different ways to take care of myself and to take care of my baby, so I always I'm always so grateful for that experience being in that environment, and not only just being there, but the people that walk through our door were from every walk of life, so we saw everybody, um, and so through that experience, I was able to meet um a doula. She was one of our patients at the time. She was going through training. I knew what doulas were, um, I just and this was 15 years ago, so it still was a little, you didn't hear about it a lot and people weren't really engaging all that much?
Speaker 2:None of my friends were, and so she asked me if I could maybe be one of her sort of like training opportunities if she could join and I loved her. I thought she was a wonderful person and so I said, yeah, why not? And very similar to Stephanie. I came home, told my husband at the time like hey, we're going to meet with this person. She's a birth doula. And he's like what? I'm like well, we're going to learn together.
Speaker 1:Can I just say something real quick? I had this like thought come up, because when I, I think when I first heard the word doula, it sounds so woo, woo.
Speaker 2:A thousand percent.
Speaker 1:It really does. And so I think, like and that again to your point, many, many, many years ago people were just not talking about doulas. And so when you hear the word doula, you're like am I going to go into the this other world experience? Yeah, like, are you?
Speaker 2:giving birth in a river Like no by the deer. By all of my wildlife animals? No, but if you want to, I'd love that too.
Speaker 3:Whatever you want to do, oh my gosh, so I agree with you. Yes.
Speaker 2:So we did have. Obviously, this doula was amazing and I gave birth to my daughter and I couldn't have done it without her. I really couldn't have because, again, my husband didn't have a playbook. I didn't know what to tell him how to support me.
Speaker 2:So for me that was a huge driving factor of this work of no one's out there also supporting partners and telling them how to support me. They don't know. So I loved it from the start. I knew someday there was some way I wanted to do this work, um, and so then life marched on. I was um, I worked for chiropractors for about 10 years of my career and then moved into corporate life.
Speaker 2:Um, and I think similar vein to Steph too, we we do have a lot in common. I think this is one of those common underlying things we do have is the overwhelming sense of helping people in whatever that looked like, whether it's paralegal. I mean, this might sound really silly, but I loved my job as a teenager working at Dairy Queen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you want to know why? Helping all the teens?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Tell me why? Because everyone who came to Dairy Queen was so happy to be there A hundred percent and I got to give them extra happiness. Are you nuts? Yeah, I know that seems really silly to say, but I think that's where it all started was like these really great little jobs I had as a teenager and everyone was so pleased and happy. I'm like that makes me feel amazing.
Speaker 3:Like that fills my cup.
Speaker 2:So this idea of going back to those roots, of how can I do work that fills my cup, personally and professionally, how do I do that? And so being a doula was always sitting in the back of my mind ever since I had my baby, my first baby girl, at 15, 15 years ago. It was always there, this, like little igniter light.
Speaker 1:Ladies. Okay, Steph, I want you to weigh in on this too. This moment that you had both of you through your own experience of utilizing a doula, there was this moment that all of a sudden, you were like that's what I want to do. How incredible, Like seriously, and nobody can put an exactitude to like what that is. Actually I can, and maybe we dive into this here in just a moment, but, like being a faith girly, I go that's just God's little wink or nudge at you.
Speaker 1:But there there is like something, and I can't quite put my finger on it, but like there's just something to these little moments in time that we have where all of a sudden something clicks on us and we're like I thought that maybe I was in alignment before, but I this feels so much more, and I know some of the men who are listening are probably like the feels, I tell you, like the feels get out of the feels.
Speaker 1:But there is for women versus men. There's, there is like a true science around this right when us intuitively, as women, like we have to listen to our intuition and listen to the feels that come from that to help guide us and point us in the right direction. Call it a God wing, call it the universe, call it you know, you know divine intervention, intuition, whatever you want to call it. But like there is something about those moments in time that happen that all of a sudden we just have this massive shift and we go. I'm going to go this direction instead and for some, the outsiders looking in, they're going what the hell? Like? What are you doing? Yeah, you're like in paralegal right, you know, in in law and all of a sudden making a loan shift, oh gosh, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then in your, in the vein of what you were doing in a corporate setting marketing and sales and all of a sudden making this complete, you know, 180 shift, yeah, and outsiders are looking and going what the heck, it doesn't matter. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Like it just doesn't matter. Well, I think there's a couple things to that is. I think a lot of people feel those nudges. It's just whether they respond or listen to them 100%, and of course, we would be naive to not talk about like opportunity season of life. You know courage, and I think when you said, you know, I get this fire lit in me and then I want to, like you know, take everyone's name and show them what's up, but then you have a moment of doubt. I think what has worked for me but also has put me in some really scary situations, is I do that and then I have doubt. I commit, I start moving and then I'm like oh, geez, wow, I'm really like putting myself out there, but I'm already in.
Speaker 2:I can't back out now.
Speaker 3:And so I almost put myself in those situations but maybe a little bit intentionally of just like yep, I know I have to commit in order to be able to follow through. I will say there was a lot of sacrifices when I left corporate America, because my husband had, not long before, switched careers as well, and so he came from making really great money straight out of high school, building that career in the auto industry, to completely switching and going into the golf industry, oh my God. So he had not quite finished his growth pattern, and so for us to be able to go down to one income was super scary. Obviously, we had a house, we had a child, I clipped a lot of coupons. That's when coupons were not digital.
Speaker 3:I remember having a conversation with an old roommate and they were living a very different life. They were traveling, they were, um, you know, they had extra funds and she was like she was working full time. And I remember her asking me like I don't know, like is it all worth it? Like I just feel like you guys are so head down and, like you know, not able to do a whole lot because of this sacrifice, and I was like so sure, like, yep, it's going to pay off, like I'm totally fine with this, like super tight lifestyle right now, because I know what I'm building for the future.
Speaker 3:But I will say, not everybody has that opportunity, and why I think it's so cool for Nikki and I to share our stories together is because our opportunities presented themselves at different times in our motherhood journey.
Speaker 3:The reason why I think I was able to take that opportunity is because, instead of paying for childcare, I then stepped in as the primary caregiver, so we were saving money in that aspect while building the foundation of how to mom in the nooks and crannies.
Speaker 3:Like my days were spent with my babies, because I have two more after the fact, but I would work a lot of nights until midnight 1am, I would work a lot. I'd wake up at 5am and get a couple hours of work done. Did we grow as quickly as we could have? Absolutely not. But I was able to raise my babies while building the foundation and that, like the timing of all of that, not only worked out great because once they all were school age, but then I got to meet this incredible person and say, like I'm ready to go full time, like my kids are all in school now, and in order for Nikki obviously to transition from a full time corporate job, her opportunities and situation changed, lifestyle wise, um, but also how to mom was ready to to really kick it into gear, and so that kind of the timing just really unfolded. But I also think it was a beautiful nudge from from above, or I don't know where, but that Nikki came into my life because it was not around the birth world, it was through our kids.
Speaker 3:And I literally could not imagine my life, personally or professionally, without this woman, nikki.
Speaker 1:Let's, uh, let's. Actually I want to throw the ball back over into your court, Cause you, you finished up with having the doula and going through that experience. But let's, let's share, kind of catch the listeners up to speed. From that moment up until meeting Steph, yeah, and not, and, and, to her point, it wasn't even in the world of what you two are doing now. No, so let's, let's catch the listeners up to speed on that, okay.
Speaker 2:So, yes, first baby um here, um, and then three years later, um, my second daughter, gave birth, had the same doula, of course, couldn't do without her. Um, still, that little fire and um moved to corporate world after that. So I spent nine years with a corporate company, doing really good work actually for Fortune 500 companies, supporting their working families with coaching, with career coaching.
Speaker 2:So I say that because I tried so hard to stay in this vein of like I'm trying to do everything. I'm trying to stay in this world of supporting families, supporting moms. I knew there was more out there for me too. I just didn't know how to put the pieces together, so that job was critical for me. I was allowed to work from home. My kids were of an age where they were okay with me traveling here and there, yeah, so that was a big part of it. Stayed in corporate life. Met Stephanie through our girls, like she said. So my youngest and her oldest were friends in school and we met at the last day of fourth grade at Dairy Queen At.
Speaker 3:Dairy Queen, let's bring it all together. That's's bring it all together. I'm not joking, didn't even know how full circle that I know.
Speaker 2:I'm not joking like. There is just something out there like yeah, no reason for that to happen.
Speaker 3:Who is unhappy at Dairy Queen? No one.
Speaker 2:No, you're right nobody is except I will say that day I was a little unhappy. Yeah, because I was in this fork in the road of my career and my life of like I feel like my soul is being sucked in corporate world. Um, it is not filling my cup. I'm stressed. I'm having all of these things go on in my life. And then I meet Stephanie Sinclair and I said our girls want to have playdates this summer. I should probably meet you. What do you do? Do you do camps? Like, what do you do with your kids in the summer? I'm feeling stressed. She said, well, I actually am a business owner. And I said, well, what do you do?
Speaker 2:She said I'm a birth doula and if you could have recorded my eyes I mean my mouth probably dropped to the ground. My eyes were as big as dinner plates and I basically all but asked her to like jump on her back and follow her around through life. It was this humongous God wank universe nudge. It was like a shove. It was a total shove. And not only is she a fantastic person, she 100% allowed me. Like something happened and we just clicked and I asked her a thousand questions a day.
Speaker 2:I wanted to be a part of that world so badly. I'm fairly certain I offered to do things for free with her business because I just wanted to have my toe in the water, and that was 2022. So not only was I able to sort of mentor with Steph but really understand the foundation of the business she was building and that it wasn't just a birth doula. It was so much more than that. It was supporting moms, supporting women, supporting families, giving them a toolbox where they don't have to go midnight Google scrolling. So I could see it. I saw it, um, she didn't have to tell me. I saw it, um, and I wanted it. And so then she encouraged me to do uh, go through my doula training. So I was um certified doula training in January of 2023. Um I shadowed Stephanie with any birth I could. So still while working corporate life, and I may or may not have called in sick one day, like not sick at a birth.
Speaker 1:That's okay.
Speaker 2:It happens, can't be scheduled.
Speaker 3:Can't be scheduled.
Speaker 2:And then I did get my first referral through. A really good friend of mine gave me a referral and so I took my own client and I knew right away. I knew anyway before that, but that moment of so kind of I think you were sort of alluding to like a little bit of this imposter syndrome, right?
Speaker 2:So, along the way. I'm like watching Stephanie do this work and her confidence and her knowledge and her expertise in this world and me sitting thinking like I'm never going to, I'm never going to get there, like there's so much. But every single time it's like this weird thing that happens, like there's like a snap, and it's just you just turn into this person that I didn't know that I could be and there are a lot of pieces of that, but it really was Stephanie building this foundation and this environment to become this person that I didn't trust myself that I could be. And so the confidence that I gained from Stephanie the confidence of just getting like somebody who trusted me to be in their space, to be in their world, with this huge, big, important part of their life bringing a baby into the world I think I left. I'm like they really wanted me there, like this is the coolest ever. I can't believe that people want me to be there and I just I can never look back Like there is nothing else for me.
Speaker 1:This is it.
Speaker 2:So yeah, so I left corporate America May of 2024, so a year ago.
Speaker 1:Congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 3:Cheers to that best day ever.
Speaker 1:Cheers, cheers, our coffee, cheers, cheers, it's coffee.
Speaker 2:Everyone promise coffee swear trust me, we're all moms here. We need it, um and yeah, and so then, um, stephan Stephanie, uh, officially offered me the opportunity to become a sole partner of how To Mom um July of last year. So we are just coming up on our one year anniversary of being partners in this incredible business that she built with blood, sweat and tears, and I could not be happier to continue this legacy with her and to hoist her up so high, because she deserves it.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:Okay, I have so many different avenues that I can go down. Um, something that I want to speak to Nikki is in having interviews with you, guys are going to be the 60th episode. I hope I don't, um, I don't. I hope I don't end up having to shift that.
Speaker 1:But anyway, you're committed now, you know so 60, around 60, cause I've had a couple of solo episodes, but I'll tell you that there are two distinct moments that I will end up getting emotional. It is in in the weeds, talking about the convergence convergence of motherhood and so becoming a mom, and that identity crisis that we can potentially go through um, or do go through I should say that most of us go through that and then this shift to from being in one spot to then, all of a sudden, having that like different alignment and the empowerment that we, as women, feel when we are truly stepping into who we like, who God wants us to be yes, and it is just like I felt that from you 100%.
Speaker 1:It was so cool, like, so cool. Both of you, like I could feel it from both of you as you were sharing your stories. And something I want to share is that when I get back behind the mic, I like step into a different version of myself, the one that does feel super empowered, that doesn't have those imposter syndrome moments. And how cool to be able to sit and hear the stories of other women who are just leading a charge, like nothing is better. Seriously, nothing is better. Seriously, I couldn't agree more. Nothing is better. No, I couldn't agree more.
Speaker 3:It's so cool.
Speaker 3:It's so cool, I think, what you had mentioned, too, like for the handful of male listeners regardless male or female, you can be good at your job, but when you feel so passionate and like this is just a part of who you are and you're not just going to work, you're going to be really great at your job.
Speaker 3:And I knew that and to share a little too, when so I'd been building for about eight years on my own, I did have one opportunity with a potential partner. We worked together for a couple of years, and that ended in nothing but heartache where my walls went up in a second and I was like mama bear with how to mom. I was like I will never share this business again. It was very clear that there was a lot of using and manipulation that I just, I think, ignored or didn't want to see and was just really happy to be working alongside someone. And, for those of you listening that are a mompreneur, I approach my business much like motherhood. There are days where I feel like a badass, like I just totally conquered this to-do list, I feel like on cloud nine.
Speaker 3:I mastered this. I feel so great. And there are other days where I'm literally on my knees crying going what am I doing? Who am I? I really messed that up. I need to apologize. I mean, it's just like motherhood. And so I was in a space when I actually first met Nikki, where my heart was broken and it cost me a lot of money and I was wanting to be hesitant, I wanted to not open up but literally could not. I just was so attracted to like who she was, her personality. I know she says she went through training in 2022 and like started the work full time, you know, two years ago, cause really you did attend quite a few births while at corporate America.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but for me it was never a question that I knew she was built to do this work. And, yes, there are amazing things that come from experience, but you are either built to do this work and are just authentically good at it. And it was instant. I was like I really should be hesitant and like protect my business, but I can't, because I wanted to share it with her so badly that I was like God forgive me, like if I'm not listening to this, you know cause? My husband, being just like more of a male business perspective, is like never do that again, never trust again you know, um, you've built this the last eight years, like, keep it as your own.
Speaker 3:But literally what we have done the last two years of course, even more so the last year since Nikki's become a partner I wouldn't have been able to do, not only with my kids not being in school full time, but without the help of Nikki, like, we have definitely had a year of growth and a lot of investment again, but we have definitely shifted how to mom from being a doula agency to really opening up our other services, opening up and building more of our team. We now have all of our courses on demand, something that I had been striving for for years. We have our podcast, we have amazing relationships with other professionals All of these things that I constantly was dreaming of and building a foundation for. But I knew in this moment it was time for how to mom to bring it up another level, and I couldn't do it alone and literally I don't think anybody else was the right fit. And here came Nikki and I was like please do this with me.
Speaker 2:Well, I really wasn't giving you an option.
Speaker 1:She was just gonna keep at it, she was gonna be persistent. Well, something stuff, I think is what you're speaking to is this moment, critical moment that a mompreneur reaches in their business, which is scaling right and so you know you had you hit that twice essentially.
Speaker 1:So you hit that hired on an individual where it just was not a good fit and then it didn't work. So what I want to talk through the evaluation that you went through, because I know that you had the moment of meeting Nikki and it was just kind of like, yep, I don't know, why, but like I, I'm sure there was many reasons why, and I understand having Nikki right in front of me and hearing a lot of what she's sharing, but what evaluation did you go through?
Speaker 1:I think that this is important for the other listeners to hear. Yeah, Because I'm sure that there are the gals who are listening right now either have experienced something similar to what or could hit that point. Yeah, and rather than having the heartache of hiring on somebody that is just ultimately not the right fit, I want you to share that evaluation that you mentally went through to go all right now. This is actually Nikki is the person, and this is why yeah, I think there were a couple of different things.
Speaker 3:I think we were obviously getting busier at how to mom income was increasing, but there was also this moment of looking at the numbers and saying, in order to grow more, I need more help.
Speaker 3:So I need to invest in order to increase that income. I also knew, because I learned a ton of lessons through that hardship. I knew, at the end of the day, we have incredible team members, but, at the end of the day, how to mom is one of my babies and to expect somebody to care to the level that I do or to foresee growth like I do in one of my babies, they needed to have some of that as their own. Um, and so, as scary as that was, because I felt like I found the right fit, I was like it's go time, um, and so there were, and partially, the numbers were there. But there's also this point of like scary courage, of like, okay, here's where we're at. I need to increase this margin by X amount of numbers. I don't know that that's going to be a guarantee, but here are all the ways that we have strategized to be able to get there, and Nikki and I are going to have a meeting after this and like really looking at numbers. But I'm really happy to say that we exceeded that goal in this last year, which feels really great. And I will say, like the reason why I think it really does work too is we have always promised to communicate and I feel so.
Speaker 3:I feel like I'm able to be so vulnerable with Nikki that that feels safe. And she has always shown and proven to me that she will be just as vulnerable. And we have just always promised each other that we would keep the lines of communication open. And I often say to family friends, business partners, like hard conversations might be hard but they're not bad. I love that Right Like, don't avoid hard conversations, and we've had those. And numbers were important obviously to not only. You know, have somebody step away from corporate America and have two children and a life and a lifestyle and I will be honest, like it's been scary you know, to say like I believe in you, come along, I hope this works out.
Speaker 3:But I also know that it's been working out for the last eight years and I knew that she had the grind in her. I knew that she had the ability in her. I knew that she had the determination, and that was something that I hadn't quite seen before outside of myself. So I was like I think not only you're the right person, but like make how to mom one of your babies as well, and you will run with me because we're building and I often say to like we're building, even though our daughters don't necessarily envision this as their future. But we often say like we're building the legacy to give to our kids, whether they, whether or not they want to take over the business, but just something to give them. And honestly, I love Nikki's girls as if they were my own and I know she feels the same way about my kids. So it just felt like this is a family business and it felt just as much that way when Nikki and her entire family joined.
Speaker 1:Nikki yeah, do you have anything to elaborate?
Speaker 2:I do a couple of things.
Speaker 2:I'll keep it short.
Speaker 2:Um, so, when Steph mentioned having hard conversations, I think the first conversation that we both had, sitting across from each other talking about this and she, like gave me the contract to join as a partner was we both had fierce agreement that if we had a solid escape clause for both of us, yes.
Speaker 2:And not because we did, we doubted, not because of anything, but because I think laying that out on the table first made those sort of like connotations of, well, I'll feel bad if it doesn't work, or financially, like I'm going to give this a try for a year and like I'm used to providing a certain amount for my family but then I'm going to ruin her whole business. So none of that was on the table because we already talked about it, like if she felt it wasn't a great fit, if I felt it wasn't a great fit, that was a mutual agreement right out of the gate, so I think just getting that off of the table gave us both this freedom to really jump in, knowing that there will always be risks, but there is, it is going to be okay, yeah, yeah, if it doesn't work.
Speaker 2:So I think, acknowledging that and coming to a massive amount of terms with if it's not okay, that's okay, yes, yeah. So that's my first thing with you, steph, and the family business. We do joke about it a little bit, you know, because it does take a village. We are super lucky, we live nice and close together. Our kids are like little siblings. I mean, we just do the thing. Um, my husband in particular, I know, um, he works full time, he coaches soccer, but if I'm at a birth, you know, I know that he's going to make sure that whoever needs to be picked up or get rides, all those things Right. So we do joke like it does take the entire family, all four of us, for one birth. Yeah, and I very often text my girls if I'm at a birth and I'm saying goodnight to them. I text my girls and just say thank you. Because what Steph is saying about building this legacy, whether our kids decide they want to do this work or not, I think maybe just your son is interested in it.
Speaker 1:Deacon's the only one. Oh my gosh, I love it he wants to deliver babies, I love it so much.
Speaker 3:So cute.
Speaker 2:But not only giving them something, but showing our kids something. So showing them that I'm acknowledging that I can't do this without them. I can't I can't do this without their agreement that my job is I'm home for weeks on end, but then sometimes I'm gone for nights and then when I'm home, I might miss something, I might miss a game, I might miss a concert, but I promise that we're going to celebrate and do all the things outside of that, and so it is a little different than what they're used to, for me For sure. And so I do think, showing them that you, you can have this abundance and be really grateful, but it does take a village and you have to be there for each other. So the family business aspect, for me, is just huge in showing them what life can look like.
Speaker 3:Well, and if I can just really add to that I know I'm a talker, but what I think is really it's okay, Steph, we're on a podcast, steph, if I can just really add to that.
Speaker 1:I know I'm a talker, but what I think is really Okay, steph, we're on a podcast, steph, I know. But I will go on and on and on.
Speaker 3:This is long form.
Speaker 1:It's okay. Okay, good, thanks for bearing with us.
Speaker 3:I think this can be a really great lesson in like life, motherhood and running a business, when I had my twins and all of a a sudden I went from a mom of one, where Mackenzie was like the center of our world, to all of a sudden having three kids and not feeling like I had enough hands, I didn't have enough room on my lap, all of the things.
Speaker 3:It was really hard and there was a transitional moment that happened with me in motherhood and I remember crying and being on my knees and saying I am not able to be the mom to the twins that I was to Mackenzie and although that was really hard to accept, I needed to go through that to lift the guilt and to give myself grace, to say I'm still a really great mom, but it's going to look different now that I'm a mom of three versus a mom of one. And so then I turned that around and I said, because there were times, of course, with twins somebody was usually always crying, but I had to in that moment of being a mom of three home with three kids, always I had to go to the one who needed me most in that moment and that was sometimes really hard because Mackenzie like very rarely cried, because if she cried I picked her up, she was my only.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Now I'm in a position where maybe both the babies are crying, but Mackenzie needs me and I can't ignore her or put her priorities on the bottom of the list because I have two crying babies. And so even in moments that I get home from really long births or maybe I missed my own birthday or my wedding anniversary or Mackenzie's birthday, all of that has happened. As a doula, there's a lot of sacrifice, like, yes, we talk about the beauty of this work and I do love it, but there's, it's hard, it's a. It definitely takes sacrifice from the entire family. But even when my kids will say I'm so bummed, you weren't at my game last night, I will say to them I totally understand, I'm sorry that I wasn't there. I get that you're disappointed, but my client needed me most at that moment.
Speaker 3:I get that you're disappointed, but my client needed me most at that moment, you know, and what a great lesson to teach your kids of like yes, I am mom and I run this household and I'm here to care for all of you, but I also am Stephanie and I also get a lot of joy from helping these families birth their babies. And sometimes mom is needed outside of the home, and that's okay.
Speaker 1:Wow, nikki's shaking her head Like I feel like it's going to bob off. How do you?
Speaker 2:feel about this Well, because I think my own personal experience like momming corporate life, deciding to make this huge change in my career and being in that season of my life where I could, I was, I was able to make that change.
Speaker 2:Like I was able to be Nikki again or find Nikki, because the Nikki before wasn't really who I wanted and I mean I was fine, but outside of mom and wife I guess I was always trying to find myself and so I love what you just said. Like I mom when you need me, but then when someone else needs me, then I'm Stephanie, so it's like I can be a lot of ands and so I love that. Multiple callings I love an and.
Speaker 1:So you know, the name of this podcast is reclaiming your hue, and I think that we're really we're talking in this realm right now of who is Stephanie, who is Nikki, who is Kelly, who were we before being moms or entrepreneurs, for that matter, right and who, like? How do we reclaim this essence of Kelly, nikki, stephanie? You ladies have spoken so beautifully to that, and I think that that's really the essence of what this portion of our conversation is about. Um, I think. Where I want us to sort of lead the conversation, though, is talking about what self-care looks like. As doulas, and through your agency, I'm sure you talk a lot to the woman who is about to give birth about the practices of self-care, right, but what does it look like for the two of you, through this harmonizing motherhood and entrepreneurship, like putting yourselves first? We talked a little bit about that, but what does it look like individually for each?
Speaker 3:of you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm going to let Nikki start, Cause I do feel like I have learned a lot from Nikki and implementing that because that was a missing piece for me. Obviously, being, you know, sole owner and really head down and having younger kids when we first met, that um work definitely filled my cup, but I needed to relearn how to prioritize myself, and not only partnering gave me that opportunity, but just having such a great mentor to say like you matter and giving me a lot of grace that came from her.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you, and I didn't get here by myself. I'm still working, obviously, but this constantly repeats in my head Self-care is not selfish. Self-care is not selfish Totally. And I don't mean I'm going to get a facial every week, I mean taking a walk by myself, like do I love taking walks with my kids? Absolutely. Do I love taking time with my husband A thousand percent. But I also love just myself. Like I want to listen to some silly podcast and, just like, walk aimlessly.
Speaker 2:Um and I know that's a really simple example, but those moments are really important to me. Um and sort of dissecting that a little bit. Um, I, my, my life, um took kind of a different turn as well when my kids were little, I about six, seven years ago. I went through a pretty rough divorce at the time but kind of my whole first marriage I spent a lot of my time hustling and grinding. I was always working a couple of jobs. I was always providing like no one went without, but I did sacrifice a lot of myself.
Speaker 2:I didn't have self-care, and if I did have self-care it was very much kind of this notation of that selfish or how dare you take this time away, or why do you want to be away this kind of icky feeling. And so I just sort of put myself really in the back burner and I mean, like my health I'm talking about dental appointments.
Speaker 1:I'm talking about. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:So, and I think, as moms and maybe some other moms out there can understand and maybe you've been there or experienced this with your parents or friends or aunts and uncles where it does become those moments of not doing those things because you're doing them for others. Well, prioritizing my kids' appointments, prioritizing new clothes for my kids, new shoes for my kids I say that my mom and I joke about this all the time, but we joke about how we used to never buy new bras because they were so expensive.
Speaker 3:You wait until they're literally falling apart.
Speaker 2:Literally the wire is poking me to the point that I have, like a giant red mark. Wait right now. Not right now because I've learned from that, I'm just saying like Ben, they're done that. But how ridiculous does that sound? And again, that might not fall in anyone's self-care bucket, but it did for me.
Speaker 2:Those were things I didn't do, so I went through my kids being little, going through this divorce, working like two or three jobs. Again, community is so critical for so many people. I couldn't have done that part when my kids were that age plus provided for them as a single mom without my community. So I'm so blessed.
Speaker 1:You're like killing two birds with one stone. Right now, that is typically one of the questions that I ask which is you know how, what has the support looked like?
Speaker 3:And your village and community might not be your family. And that's where I think we have to shift in our society. Like we keep waiting for our family to show up and I'm not saying that mine hasn't, or even getting into details with that but like some people live in a different state than their families and, like my village right now, are like sports parents of like hey, can my kid catch a ride?
Speaker 2:And like just constantly putting yourself out there and knowing that like you shouldn't feel guilty about that, like we need a village, absolutely, and so I guess, like getting back to the point of self-care, so kind of through all of that right Like I did, I had to survive. I mean, there were years where I just survived and so, looking back, I don't regret that and I don't feel sad about it, because that's where I was.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Um, I think through all of that, I was able to show my girls what it takes to I mean what it takes to build a life that is meaningful, that is different, and choose different things, even though sacrifices are made. But you know, back to Steph's point about making these sacrifices like she knew that this was going to pay off and I knew that all of this was going to pay off. I didn't know what it looked like, but I knew it would. And then also showing my girls like raising strong, independent, amen, never need it. And I wanted to show them like, yeah, I am going to go out with my girlfriends for coffee, I am going to go to my friend's birthday dinner and yeah, I paid money for babysitters.
Speaker 2:But for me that was so important because I am Nikki, I'm a mom, I'm a friend, I'm a daughter, I'm an aunt, I'm a cousin, I'm all of these things, and every single part of that is so important for me to tap into and for me, like, that is my self-care. It was showing myself and other people that we could take that time away and it wasn't selfish and I wasn't sacrificing time with my kids or prioritizing anything. That wasn't important. I don't know. I just I feel very strongly that I can't pour from an empty cup, and you always put your own oxygen mask on first.
Speaker 2:And so that's where I'm at, and again, from a facial, from a walk, from a, I'm going outside and sitting on my porch by myself with a cup of coffee, like I'm not selfish.
Speaker 3:No, and I think I want everybody to know, too, that it's a constant journey, that you're learning right. Just like our babies and our kids are constantly growing and changing, so are we as women, um, and I think something that Nikki and I have really been able to relate and support one another is just like this new season of life that we're in. You know we're. We're over our childbearing years. Our kids are older.
Speaker 1:Um, I just entered the 40s club in congratulations a whole new season of life, and I love it a whole new, a whole new season of life and I love it A whole new body, whole new hormones.
Speaker 3:And now you know, really kind of like trying to educate and learn ourselves through this like perimenopause stage so that we can hopefully, you know, then support women like our clients when they then enter that, and like we're always learning. And I will say something that is different today than it was 10 years ago when I started this work. That is very physical, you know, especially when it is very hands on and we have, for example, like an unmedicated birth. We do a lot regardless, but of course unmedicated births are a lot more physically, you know, physically enduring demanding thank you that I am learning that I need more recovery time than I did when I was 30.
Speaker 3:And now I have this idea of when I'm at a birth and I'm literally holding my client up who's in the bathtub so that she can work her way through this contraction.
Speaker 3:I now know when I go to the gym and lift weights, I'm doing it so that I'm able to do that and not because I need this perfect body but, I, need to be strong for my clients and for my kids, and so now it's just like spending more time on recovering from birth, doing things that I know my body, my mind, need. We're both starting, you know, with we, of course, are huge chiropractor fans literally saves my life. I just had a Reiki session with one of these incredible professionals that we work with. Being able to care for the trauma that we carry for clients, you literally must have been in my brain.
Speaker 1:I mean that's in my thoughts. I was thinking I'm sure that there is so much emotional emotions that are happening in that moment and we're energy yes, we're just like we. We take the energy, whether it's good, bad or indifferent. You know, anger, sadness, positivity, happiness. Yeah, I want to hear a little bit Actually, let's pause on that but I want to hear a little bit more. So, in terms of self-care for you, you alluded to, like I know I need to take care of my body in a different kind of way now. So chiropractic, is there anything else that you wanted to add to that?
Speaker 3:Yeah, just knowing, giving myself permission, that even if my kids are at school for seven and a half hours one day, I might not be at my computer working for seven and a half hours. Part of my work might mean going to the chiropractor, going and getting a massage, laying in bed, taking a nap, like our work is so different in terms of schedule that, like, yes, do we like to capitalize on kid free time? Yes, but I think Nikki and I have such a great understanding of like I'm prioritizing my mental health today, or my physical needs today, um, I do every other month I see a Mayan abdominal massage therapist, um, and then on the other months I just see an amazing massage therapist that works on my body. I see a chiropractor at minimum once a month. She's a wonderful and really knows and understands what it is that we do, so I definitely can increase those visits if needed.
Speaker 3:Baths, just taking quiet time, just knowing that, like, when I'm doing those things, they are not connected with guilt, they are not connected with productivity, because that is something that I've had to unlearn and retrain in the last two years since partnering with Nikki, of like she's like it is okay for you to like take the day and go get a massage, like why do you feel guilty about that? And I just think I was in that, that mode for so long with my kids being a little bit younger than Nikki's of like the constant sacrifice and now being able to say like and it took somebody looking from the outside in to say, like you've built something incredible.
Speaker 3:Like, if you're going to sustain this, we need to implement different modules you know, like different self-care options and so, for whatever reason I think because my mom was such a grinder and incredible woman but who sacrificed everything to be mom and wife and housekeeper like, who took care of the home that she never was on the top of the priority, and so it's really hard to get away from what we were raised in. With a lot of credit to her, nothing bad, but of like me even teaching her that like, yeah, this is like a different, new way and she's like, wow, that's incredible.
Speaker 1:Well, I think something that comes up pretty frequently within our household is our parents were just doing the best that they knew to do in that moment, and it's of no fault to do in that moment, and it's of no fault. And we, like, there are these moments where you look and you go, I wish this or I wish that, but to my point they're.
Speaker 1:They literally were just doing their best and they are still continuing to do their best in what they know now, but we have so many more resources now more than ever, and to be able to tap into those and go actually, it's really like, especially with the demands of what your field of work is your body needs to be able to recoup and recover in a specific way, and whether that's chiropractic work or it's theiki or it's, you know you can go down the list that you had rattled off, but yeah, yeah, there's.
Speaker 3:there's a lot of that and I think the shift was that is part of this work. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we brought it up just a few moments ago about the energy and that that sort of. I am totally drawing a blank on the word that I want to use, like how it kind of goes between each one of us, especially in that room, as a woman is giving birth. Yeah.
Speaker 3:So I Females biologically females gravitate towards other female energy while birthing their babies. And I have a really fun story and it was at the very start of my career. I had the honor of supporting this incredible couple and I want to make sure everybody knows that they were strong, they had an amazing foundation. They still do. They're an incredible couple, extremely intimate in the way of like their connection and their faith and like literally love them to pieces. But the moment I realized this work and why women historically and why they still need to be surrounded by other women, is because biologically and physiologically we respond to that female energy.
Speaker 3:So, they were at the hospital. They had been laboring for some time. Again, this husband is an incredible supporter, like anything his wife needed. Oh, like they were, just like I see them right now. And it was just such a beautiful, beautiful birth. But I walked in, she was sitting on the ball the birth ball, and she was leaning into the bed and she was handling these contractions with so much courage and so much beauty. And her husband was right there breathing with her. And because she was in the middle of a contraction, I wasn't going to say like hi, how's it going? So I just walked up next to her, put my hand on her shoulder to make sure she knew that I was there, that I was present, and without any intention, she literally took her cheek and brought my hand up to her cheek and I just held her cheek and it was like our bodies came together in this way that I had never felt before of this, like intimacy with another woman, of like I am here, you are safe, I got you.
Speaker 2:And we're going to do this.
Speaker 3:And it was the first time I felt that draw that was so strong and it was like this is what women need you can have the most supportive significant other, but that female energy and that way that we just became one in that moment, when she was in the thick of a contraction, it was like this reassurance of like I'm supposed to be here oh, I was not expecting to have such an emotional reaction to it, but I think I love my husband so much and he you know, as you ladies know, I have two bonus boys and so he's been through, he's been through it, but both boys were born via C-section.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, so my experience going through birthing Maddie was traditional and he was so excited to be a part of that process. But I'll tell you what what you're speaking to, steph, is so important, but that it's valid, and maybe it's just me in this moment going. Yeah, I remember having my mom show up and she wasn't there during the process of giving birth, cause that was something that my husband and I had talked about. We just wanted to be in the room together. Yeah, hindsight 2020. Right, but, um, after the fact, and then, like before, when I was going through my contractions, before having my epidural, and my mom being there and doing something very similar, like, and then, as I was pushing, giving birth to Maddie, when my doctor was like, hey, you got to push and the nurse was there and like, and you're listening to them and it's so powerful, especially if they're caring and they're nurturing through that process too. Yes, yeah, that can be a game changer.
Speaker 3:Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Yeah, it was such a beautiful moment. It was really early on in my career and it has stayed with me. Like most births, I take something with and they shape who I am as a person. Yeah, but yeah, it was a really beautiful moment. I'll never forget it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:I think that's why, too, your message and this podcast and everything that you're out there doing in the community and bringing women together Again, just feels like this generation and this movement, whatever you want to call it, like bringing that sort of community connection back together with women, versus this competitiveness and have to be better than and do different, but just existing together in every way. Shape and form is so important. Kelly like this is so good we all have.
Speaker 1:Thank you, you know I didn't think that our conversation would go that direction, but I just want to touch on that too, because it's. There are realities of this competitive nature between us as women, and my husband has actually brought it up. He he's like you're not getting dressed up for me, you're getting dressed up for the other women in the room, and I said a hundred percent you know what I mean A hundred percent, and that's not really talking on the competitive side.
Speaker 1:It's more so like we love one another. But then there's also this other side of us as women that is like catty, and I think, depending on like, I'm going to be turning 40 this year too, stuff. So I'm going to be joining the 40 club. Okay, we're here.
Speaker 3:We're here for you to decompress it all.
Speaker 2:I will lead the way I am two years ahead of both of you.
Speaker 1:She's already led the charge.
Speaker 2:Come with me, children.
Speaker 3:She was my go to for all of my conflicting feelings.
Speaker 1:Now. But here's the thing, nikki, okay. So if we take ourselves back to say high school, right, we were all kind of in that same space and time. If we were freshmen, you were going to be a junior at that point. And then still there's these couple years of overlapping. There was so much cattiness at that point. And then still there's these couple of years of overlapping. There was so much cattiness at that point in my lifetime, like so much cattiness. But I also had a very unique graduating class that was so close, tight knit and amazing at the same time.
Speaker 1:But I think I love what you shared about kind of letting that go and going.
Speaker 1:How can we support one another?
Speaker 1:And I whether you're a corporate girly listening to this or not like I think that there's a space for mothers and who are also in the corporate setting, or mothers who are in the entrepreneur setting, but, like, especially in this entrepreneurial space, because it is just it's, it's just it's, it's a lot, it's a lot, and the more that we can come together and unite and have a united front and understand that there's there truly is this support, whatever season of life you're in.
Speaker 1:Right, because I think that that's also important too and part of the reason. By the time this episode airs, the anniversary event will have already happened. Right, but that is the reason I wanted to do that is because I want those women the women who have been on the podcast, the women who are scheduled to be on the podcast as future guests and people who I am seeking to be on the podcast still, like all of you ladies, need to be in the room together and meet one another because, who knows, like I know that you ladies aren't able to be there at the event, but if you were, who knows? You might've met somebody who is in that season of life where they're pregnant, they own a business and they are not even considering a doula right.
Speaker 1:Lucky for me, you guys will have stuff in the swag bag, so people will understand or they'll be able to pass your information, but that's the whole point. That is the whole point and I go. But that's the whole point, like that is the whole point and I go. I can do it through this medium of the podcast and having like pointing people to it, which I've been able to write or going.
Speaker 1:come along on this ride and then look back to all of these other guests who have been and reach out to them. Their contact information is there for you. Reach out to them. Reach out to them. Their contact information is there for you. Reach out to them If you're in this season of life where you're ready to like get back on the proverbial train of working out.
Speaker 3:You know what?
Speaker 1:I mean Like there's a couple of people who have been on the podcast that can really fit that bell for you, you know, and that's just one of the many examples.
Speaker 3:I think, ultimately to where I mean. I think we all have a place in this world. We all have a place here in the Twin Cities and we all have a place within people's motherhood and entrepreneurship experience. I think what's so beautiful, too, with the work that you get to do is you're such a connector right and when you get to meet so many different individuals, so many different moms, so many different business owners, that connection piece and that's been something that, honestly, has been a huge driving force in our business. And I have spent hours and hours networking, showing up in rooms where maybe moments before I walked in, I thought do I belong here? Connecting with competitors, essentially, but knowing that at the end of the day, everybody has a place and if you can just own who you are and be authentic, we won't be the right doulas for some people and that's okay, that's beautiful. There are other doulas out there that you can find the right fit. But what's great is when we show up and are exactly who we are, we also will find families that say you're the perfect doula for us A comment that I've gotten throughout the last 10 years, which is kind of funny but also I feel like has been.
Speaker 3:The part of that that sets us apart is because the word doula sometimes comes with this like woohoo meeting, meaning of like, are you like a hippie naturalist who only births babies out in the wilderness? I've always said like we're kind of mainstream meets physiological birth, right, like I have always said and not every doula practices this way and that's okay I want it to feel like you have one of your best friends in that room with you. We just happen to have the experience and the knowledge and education. But I want it to feel super comfortable, I want it to feel super intimate. I want you, I want your husband, I want your family to appreciate and love that. We are there and some people are seeking that, especially those who say, like man, I want to give birth in a hospital because that's where I feel safest and I do desire an epidural. Do I deserve a doula? And we're like oh my gosh honey.
Speaker 3:Yes, like everybody deserves a doula and there is no wrong way to birth a baby, and we should always be encouraging instead of judging and saying what aligns with you as a mom, like I don't care what Judy next door does, I don't care how Jill birthed her baby, what do you desire, what speaks to you, where's your why, what aligns with your values, and then I'm going to be the person in the corner advocating for that, without judgment and without fear-based information. And so I've always felt, like we've kind of been this, like I'm, like I'm like the biggest talker, the loudest person. Can you envision me in a birth space? Some people might say no, but this is where, like you, there can be and I can be the talker who's loud and obnoxious at a party with, like you know, giggling with girlfriends and networking because I love that. But then I can also be, you know, really quiet in a birth space.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all the things that, when you're in that space, frankly are like what you're seeking. Yeah, absolutely so.
Speaker 3:I just feel like I shouldn't say that.
Speaker 1:I mean, that was a little bit of a broad stroke. There probably are people and maybe you've encountered this like they want the music blaring?
Speaker 2:Yes, we sure have, we do, and we love all of it.
Speaker 1:Whatever?
Speaker 2:you love, we love too. I say that all the time. I'm like you want Twinkle lights up.
Speaker 1:Bring. You want twinkle lights up, bring them, I'll put them up. I will put them on Taylor Swift. You want Taylor Swift? Let's do it. Let's do it.
Speaker 1:The adaptability right, yeah, and it's like I don't and I love that too, that you're speaking to this like it's about the mom, mom-to-be and the, the couple that are about to have their first experience, or second or third or whatever you know, whatever child it is that they're on.
Speaker 1:It's about them, yes, it's about what are their needs in that moment, and it's not pushing an agenda which I think you know. Frankly, I'm sure that there's been a handful, if not more, women who are listening right now where they felt like that was they needed to be a specific way or act a specific way, or it needed to go just like so, or they had to have a birthing plan or this or that or how come my friend was able to do x, y or z and I couldn't that was something that when I first had Mackenzie kind of comparing to my girlfriend who had this really straightforward, you know, pretty fast ish first birth compared to my story it was like right away, like maybe going back to this, like catty, like competitiveness of like why, Like what's wrong with me?
Speaker 3:And it took becoming a doula and like really kind of having these heart to heart conversations with myself of like, no, like that was Mackenzie's story, that was exactly how it was supposed to go, my body did really great work, and so I just I want everybody to know that's listening, that doulas are not kind of this one size fits all, and if you have heard that, that's just a misconception. And so we are really out here not only supporting families but making sure to continue to educate, to let families know that it's your agenda, we meet you where you're at, we educate, we support, we advocate, but that it's not just this one type of birth that deserves support.
Speaker 1:That was so good. That was so good I I completely forgot to ask you guys this question. It's a very simple one, and I ask it right out the gate, um, but I think it's important for the listeners to know like how it is that we got connected. It wasn't just out of thin air that it happened. Do you remember how and who connected us? I don't.
Speaker 2:I don't I do?
Speaker 3:I'm looking to Nikki because she's my brain in these moments.
Speaker 2:So it was through someone that you met. Was it hockey related? No, no, that's not true.
Speaker 3:Okay, remind us That's's not true as soon as you say it I'll jump for joy because I'll remember courtney tanaka yes, with her new mpt love her. Oh my god, courtney, we love you she was like she was kind of that type of person like when I met nikki, like we literally met her and we were like we love you.
Speaker 2:We sat on the floor, we were at a networking event where we're supposed to be talking to everyone but then cut to the three of us sitting on the floor just like chit-chatting about when we're gonna have happy hour and coffee the next time she's incredible, an amazing connector she is.
Speaker 1:She has now become my physical therapist. She's great. We so real quick. Courtney and I met each other when I was in a very different stage of life. I was single, I was single, I was dating somebody. It was a toxic relationship to be frank, and and Courtney met me at a wedding and this individual was with me at that wedding. So when I say Courtney saw a very different side of me, she saw a very different side of me. It was party central.
Speaker 2:Well, she thinks the world of you she does.
Speaker 1:I think the world of her, though too Fast forward to last fall. She reached out to me we had connected with each other on Facebook during the wedding, I think, years and years ago and have just kind of, you know, like watch each other's lives transition and change ever since she reaches out to me last year, last fall, and she was like I see that you're doing this podcast. I just like went out on my own for physical therapy. As a physical therapist, Can we sit down and have coffee? And I was like sure, why not? And we did, and I was like, hey, let's get you on the podcast. I would also love for you to join the mastermind group. I've like picked out a few of like the first few guests that have been on the podcast. These are gals who I love, love, love dearly, and we have a mastermind group that goes on every single week and I was like come be a part of it, because you just started your business.
Speaker 1:You got to feed off of these women and we're doing all these things together and I'm like I love it. It's so incredible. But then she you want to talk about being you were like pointing me out being the connector. I'm like she's been connecting me to some incredible women in the space that you ladies are in. So you know, the lactation specialist I think I connected you ladies with this gal Mama, be Nourished. Kristen Brickle right, kristen Brickle, who I want to have on the podcast. And then you know, and then she connected me to you ladies, and here we are.
Speaker 1:She's just amazing. She's a gem all around. I've enjoyed continuing to like hear her evolution and story with her business, how she's really transforming through all of it, and then having her come and work on my body, which has just like the residual impact that we as women have after giving birth, like during that during pregnancy and carrying, like I think this is something I just want to tap into real quick, if that's okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bear with me please, but, like, when you are pregnant and you're carrying in a specific way, whether it be twins or just one, like our bodies do a massive shift. Yes, and that residual impact is something that I have felt and it's years later and I'm like what is happening?
Speaker 1:Like I don't have the strength that I used to when I'm doing my strength training. I don't feel like my body is shifting the way that it used to in terms of that strength training. I need to go and see a chiropractor yeah, desperately, but she has been so transformative in like going, you don't have to stretch so hard, you don't have to do all of these things that, like traditionally, people are telling you you have to like be more tender and nurturing with your body, and I'm like, wow, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Wow, wow, wow.
Speaker 2:Wow, no, I think that's really important for listeners to hear too. That again, with this whole like stream that we're talking about with evolution, is that just again, the way that you may have been gentle and kind with yourself 20, 10 years ago looks very different now. I would tell a funny story, but I'm not going to get into that.
Speaker 1:No, tell the funny story no but you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:When you're like 22 years old and you can like eat Taco.
Speaker 3:Bell like three times a day.
Speaker 1:What's your kryptonite?
Speaker 2:Oh, thousand percent, Taco Bell Come on.
Speaker 1:What's your kryptonite, steph? Taco Bell, taco Bell, ladies, I mean, I've even thought about if anybody watched Love is Blind.
Speaker 3:I've even thought about the tattoo, you know? Yes, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2:I don't matter.
Speaker 3:Okay, did you watch?
Speaker 2:Love is Blind, minneapolis Okay, well, first of all catch up on that, Then we'll go get matching tattoos together the next time that we see each other in our lips. But do you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:It's so I do that and then like being gentle with myself.
Speaker 2:The next day I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna have like one glass of water. I am so healthy and amazing right now, like no kidding, so I am giving myself so much self-care and so gentle.
Speaker 2:But yeah, so that's what I'm saying, like I just think like I'm, you know, rolling with how this goes and like shifting and moving and learning more about your body becoming really in tune with your body. So I love Courtney's message about that and her approach to her care with women of just everything is okay, low impact is okay, like you don't have to do what you did five years ago. But I was also going to say about Courtney she's a great example of the people and the professionals that we work with and, going back to this, we meet people where they're at, everyone that we partner with or work with or refer to right.
Speaker 2:Like there is no. People ask me all the time if I'm interviewing a new client and they want to know what's your approach to birth. Yeah, and I literally look at them. I'm not even joking, I'm like know what's your approach to birth? Yeah, and I literally look at them. I'm not even joking, I'm like well, my approach to birth is your approach to birth so good and so, whether you're a birth doula, whether you are an interior designer, whether you are a construction worker or whatever, it is right.
Speaker 2:I think that's what people are seeking. Yeah, they're seeking validation. They're seeking that they're not doing it wrong, that they don't have the wrong ideas. There's something out there for every professional. That's why you hire people. You hire people for their expertise, but to speak your language, to know that you're not ridiculous for asking for maybe you want giant gold columns on the front of your doorstep, I don't know. I mean, but maybe there's like a different way to do that, but like just validating. You know, this is my vibe, this is my, these are my values, this is what's important to me, and being able to mirror that but then turn the dial up on the education, the expertise piece, that's what people are looking for. Let's just be honest.
Speaker 3:Well, and I have to say again, what we do here, specifically at how To Mom, is, of course, support women in labor, but it is so, so much more than that, because, in a society where we are over flooded with information and ways of doing things and the right way and the wrong way in this very like extremist type world is, although we're talking about birth, where I feel like so lit up is we are teaching women to listen to their bodies, but also to listen to their intuition, because that is going to help them in motherhood way more than any product, way more than any service, is what is your gut telling you? Does that feel right, does that align? And if not, we're not doing that right. It's like this world of tick tock. It's like, well, so-and-so, do that, did this, and then there's this product and this thing, and it's like this overabundance of information, where then we then are letting women doubt anything that is inside of them.
Speaker 3:And so, during birth, I am leaning in, and there's a specific client that I'm thinking of who is a single mother by choice, went through IVF and a lot of twists and turns occurred in her pregnancy and her birth, but I sat down with her during our postpartum visit and she looked at me and she said, stephanie, so many people talk about this mother intuition and I never felt it and I never thought I had it and I never thought I would.
Speaker 3:And she said this birth taught me that I have this intuition and now I feel like I can. I can move forward in motherhood. And we literally both cried and I was so happy to not only witness that but to support and encourage her to say, like I don't care what coworkers or your sister or how anybody birth, what does your intuition tell us? What feels right in your body? And it was. It's just like that's, it's so much more than being at their birth right. Like what we get to do is so much more than that, like physical, in-person support. We get to be on this motherhood journey with families to say you're enough.
Speaker 1:Would you say it's impact? I hope so. Me too, I hope so I feel like it's impact. I hope so. I think that impact can look different. Right, and you speak to the story that you just shared. Right, and it's a cliff note version of that story, but that, that specific moment where you shared with her, like, just trust your gut, listen to your intuition.
Speaker 3:I believe in you.
Speaker 1:I believe in you. That had an impact on her and it planted a seed, and so I think, to my point, impact can look so different and I think a lot of women who are in this entrepreneurial space do want to have impact.
Speaker 1:For sure, and I think a lot of us also think impact has to mean something huge, like I'm impacting thousands upon hundreds upon millions of people. No, impacting thousands upon hundreds upon millions of people, no, it could be impacting that one person and then that impact that you left for that woman how is she turning around and then having a conversation with another?
Speaker 2:woman going.
Speaker 1:Hey, I I had this incredible conversation with my doula and I'm going to tell you trust your gut, listen to your intuition, the ripple effect, butterfly effect.
Speaker 3:What is it Like?
Speaker 1:something to that, to that nature, right, but oh, it's so good. All right, ladies, we have had a lot of like conversations and I think it's time to start landing the plane. I wish that we could talk for landing the plane. Yes, I wish that we could talk for hours and hours and hours.
Speaker 3:I mean, we could we could, we could.
Speaker 2:That's the audio book.
Speaker 1:Round two, round two We'll schedule it, but I do want to start to land the plane. Yeah Gosh, where do I want to go with this? I think I want to go at this direction with us. I think I want to go at this direction. Harmonizing is like. I don't love the word balance, and you may have listened to other episodes where I share that.
Speaker 1:I don't know if there's ever true balance when it comes to motherhood and entrepreneurship. I think that there's some harmonizing that can happen. Agreed, was there ever a I? And I want to. I want to have it be, since, going into this entrepreneurial space while also caring for and being a mother, has there been a dark moment for you that you could share with the listeners and how you worked through it, steph?
Speaker 3:Well, I know that you're asking for a time during my business years of growing this business, but I think it's most important to talk about the months leading into starting how To Mom After becoming a mom to Mackenzie, which, again my whole life I had envisioned becoming a mom. We had put a lot of time, a lot of money into our fertility journey, but motherhood did not come natural to me, which was so surprising. I was so overwhelmed by it and I completely lost myself. I was in a very dark place where you know like when you're tired, but like that level of fatigue where it's like I don't know if I can get out of bed. Today, and it was because I was really unhappy in my career. I felt like I'd worked so hard to have this child that I was only seeing once you know one hour, two hours a day, that I was only seeing once you know one hour, two hours a day, and I just thought there would, there had to be more to life than what I was living and so, truly, how to mom saved me.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it could have looked very different my marriage, my life, who I am as a mom.
Speaker 3:So that for sure was a really dark time. I think Nikki came into my life at the perfect timing because I think after this issue that I had with a potential partner was a really dark time too, and I questioned a lot of who I am of, like I shared too much I, I'm too open, I'm too trusting, and it almost changed who I was. But Nikki saved me because I was able to continue being vulnerable and being open, because that's who I am and that's what I do, and I didn't want my experiences to have such a negative effect that I changed who I was. And I've had this conversation with my husband so many times about business and like being business savvy and I'm like literally what I do is emotional. It's always going to be a part of the business, it's always going to be a part of the conversation, and so those dark moments have definitely helped push me and grow, but also, at the same time, a reminder of staying true to myself.
Speaker 1:I literally was just thinking how sad would it have been to go a different direction with your business and with that potential partner and see every fiber of who you are, shift and change, and not not in a way that would honor you and help you lean into who you truly authentically are. Ooh, scary for sure. Ooh, nikki, would you like to weigh in?
Speaker 2:Yes, uh, I again, because Steph and I have lived parallel lives before knowing each other. Motherhood did not come naturally to me either. I have to be really honest, and I think it's important for anyone out there listening just because we're birth doulas and I'm a birth doula does not mean that I had this magical, mystical experience when my first baby was born, um. So I really struggled with postpartum depression and I also struggled with. You know this was 15 years ago, which isn't that long ago, but even then resources were light.
Speaker 2:Um and so, again, I leaned on my community quite a bit, um to get through that, and so actually the thought of having another child really scared me.
Speaker 3:Um, I knew.
Speaker 2:I wanted to but, um, it scared me a lot. So, um, my second experience really kind of showed me a little bit of a different experience, and not giving shame to um, uh, postpartum with my first by any means, but that was really hard. It was a hard five years, I would say, raising my two girls right out of the gate. And then I think you know, alluding to it before too just being at this crossroads of my career, my life, who am I questioning everything that I've done up until now?
Speaker 3:And so, yeah, I think dark, darkish for me.
Speaker 2:And so, yeah, I think dark, darkish for me leading up to joining Stephanie with how To Mom and deciding that this was the direction that I was always meant to go. I just had to be really patient and patience can be hard when you're in the thick of it and, I think, learning to surrender Um, we talk a lot about that with clients um, because you know, Kelly, that birth is really gray um labor, everything. Pregnancy is very gray.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of unknown, so we have a lot of type A women out there and so just personally accepting surrender that I'm not.
Speaker 2:I can't force everything, I just have to allow some things to come naturally. So, coming out of that sort of dark gray cloud. Um, in that sense, felt really good meeting Stephanie and joining this mission.
Speaker 1:I love it. Ladies, so beautiful. Thank you for sharing those moments. Moments, plural, so beautiful. I would love to hear what's a piece of advice that you would give a younger version of yourself, knowing all that you know now. I want to start with Steph.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and this actually came from not only a client who I've been able to support twice, but also she was a team member of ours for a while and I interviewed her on our podcast and that's a question I often ask them to answer or, you know, to give advice to. You know, those moms that are listening today that might be really fearful of what's to come in motherhood, and she left us with use your voice, even when it shakes, and I will never, ever forget it.
Speaker 1:You can't unhear it. No, you can't unhear it. No. Oh, that's good, nikki.
Speaker 2:What would I tell younger Nikki? Honestly, I think I would tell myself trust myself. I mean going back to this talk about intuition and no one, ever really in my life I didn't really have an experience where I witnessed somebody trusting themselves. I didn't really have an experience where I witnessed somebody trusting themselves, even if they fell, and I think that was a big part of it is. I can always I think about when I moved out on my own for so afraid to make this huge leap with my comfy, weighted blanket of corporate life and everything that came with it. I can always go back. There's always something else out there, there's always something. And my personality I've never let anything fall down. I'll figure it out. So I think I would tell myself just just trust, just trust, so beautiful.
Speaker 1:Okay, so on the heels of advice. What's a piece of advice that you would give? Ooh, I want to shift how I normally ask this question. What's a piece of advice that you would give a woman who might be sitting in that that, like moment of for lack of better words, ick Stuff.
Speaker 3:In terms of motherhood or in terms of business, or both. Both Do it scared. Do it scared, yeah, or both. Both do it scared. Do it scared, yeah, I don't know. I that I feel like maybe I should have a little bit more of like a story, but it just do it scared no, that's?
Speaker 1:so amazing. How about you, nikki?
Speaker 2:yeah, I mean, I don't know that I have anything better than that, honestly, just maybe find your people yeah, that's good. Yeah, you know, do it, scared with them, let them let you like, let them hold the giant parachute while you jump. Yeah, find your people to do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, agreed. So incredible ladies. This has been so fun. It's been literally so fun. I was like okay, it's been a hot second, since I've had two gals at the same time. I got to get into this like different kind of mode. Yeah, but it's been so fun. You ladies made it nice and easy for me. How can people get connected to you? Let's start with the business in general and then individually, yeah.
Speaker 3:So our website is howtomomcom, but it's with the number two, so howtomomcom. We're also on Instagram and Facebook. Um, we have all of our incredible services and team members listed on our website, as well as all of our courses. Literally everything is right there, and I think it also through the help of outsourcing, because that's a big topic in entrepreneurship. I think people can really get a feel for who we are and what it is that we do with our website. But, yes, also on social as well Instagram and Facebook and that is at HowToMom.
Speaker 1:Wonderful. Do you want to share individual, how people can connect with you individually?
Speaker 3:Yeah, sure, I am also on Instagram. Oh, my goodness, what's my handle? Nikki, I think it's Stephanie at HowToMom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's Stephanie. We'll link it below, that's fine.
Speaker 1:Clearly I'm on my business account way more than I am on my personal.
Speaker 2:But we show up to with birth and all things labor, but also some just realistic funny real life like real life stuff. So whether it's a video or a meme, or like one of our kids doing something totally bananas, um, or celebrating some cool stuff, like I mean, you'll find what. You can pretty much find anything. I'm also on Instagram. This is Nikki for all the listeners.
Speaker 1:I'm Nikki.
Speaker 2:I'm Dula Nikki Z on. Instagram. You'll find a lot of photos of my dog. You'll find a lot of things that I mean you have to. You have to get the vibe. So I totally respect if it's not, but I'm pretty self deprecating on my Instagram.
Speaker 1:Now I do want to ensure that I drop information about your ladies podcast too. So can you just drop a little bit of information about what the podcast entails?
Speaker 3:Yes, so our podcast is the mom to mom podcast Again, the number two. We are on all platforms. Obviously, most of our listeners come through Apple. We started the podcast. Our first season really has a mixture of birth stories and interviewing the professionals that we work alongside and refer to a lot kind of in this world of birth and we are going to continue to do those same things. But we're also going to add in this season kind of just these really honest conversations with Nikki and I kind of sitting down and talking about some funny, some frustrating things that we might see in the birth space, some typical conversations we have with a lot of clients. But yeah, it's the mom to mom podcast with how to mom.
Speaker 1:I love it. Ladies, this has been such an honor. I feel like there's so much more that we could talk about. We really true story. Yes, but I think that really we tapped into the spaces that we needed to, and it was awesome to finally meet both of you in the flesh. So thank you for carving out time to come Of course I knew we had to do this in person. Yes, thank you. I'm so appreciative.
Speaker 2:It's fun trying to coordinate with three different schedules, but we made it happen and I'm so appreciative and before school's out In the middle of May-cember y'all. May-cember. We're here, we're doing it.
Speaker 1:When this episode drops, it will have been a couple months later, and that's OK, you'll still remember. You'll understand yes.
Speaker 2:We made it through everyone.
Speaker 1:We did yes.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, and I just want to say thank you to your listeners. I know, obviously, um, birth is not a common topic on all of your episodes, but I think it really relates to motherhood and small businesses and, and just know that, like we are here, we can be a part of your village, a part of your community. That doesn't mean that you're like on the lookout for a doula. Maybe you've already birthed your babies. We would still love everyone to join and be a part of our community and just know that we're here to support all stages of motherhood and, um, it just was a pleasure speaking with all of you today oh, that, that was a nice little drop.
Speaker 1:I loved it so much. Ladies, I hope that you have an incredible day again. My honor to have you here, thank you.
Speaker 2:Thanks for the platform to do this. Have a great day. Bye.
