Reclaiming Your Hue: A Podcast for Women Rediscovering Themselves in Motherhood & Entrepreneurship

Ep. 80 with Kelli Williams | Founder, Legacy Rising

• Kelly Kirk • Season 1 • Episode 80

Share episode

Running The Relay Of Women’s Leadership

A single moment can change the trajectory of a life. For Kelli Williams, it was being told to quiet down while advocating for her team—and choosing instead to walk out and walk toward her purpose. What unfolds from there is an unflinching, hope-filled story of teen motherhood, corporate firsts, a public breaking point, and the quiet rebuilding that led to a mission-driven consultancy, executive coaching, and a voice that refuses to shrink.

We start with momentum—celebrating WomenVenture and the idea of leadership as a relay where each generation runs its leg. From there, Kelli opens the door on what it meant to be the first woman and first Black strategic leader in a family-owned manufacturer, the subtle pressure to assimilate, and the moment she decided her daughter’s future mattered more than any title. She lays out how entrepreneurship began with no safety net, then found form through fractional strategy for mission-driven organizations, clear boundaries that protect deep work, and storytelling that gives others permission to speak the hard truths.

The conversation goes deeper. Kelli shares a rock-bottom chapter: placing her newborn son for adoption at 16, finding her voice within the legal window, and the layered grace of bringing him home—joy, harm, and healing. Faith and community are constant threads, from Catholic Charities to mentoring teen moms to navigating seasons of parenting with intention. Her wildflowers metaphor reframes both kids and leaders: growth depends on the right soil, light, and care. Practical guidance follows for anyone considering entrepreneurship—pilot your idea, watch your energy, honor timing, and remember that a no today isn’t a no forever.

Kelli is now building Legacy Rising, coaching women and allies, speaking on finding joy through life’s journeys, and writing Dear Daughter, a love letter to the next generation of women in business. If this story moved you, share it with someone who needs courage to take their next step, and leave a quick review to help more listeners find us. Subscribe for more candid, purpose-driven conversations—and tell us: what boundary are you setting this week?

Resources Mentioned:

Connect with Kelli:

Contact the Host, Kelly Kirk:

  • Email: info.ryh7@gmail.com

Get Connected/Follow:

Credits:

  • Editor: Joseph Kirk
  • Music: Kristofer Tanke


Thanks for listening & cheers to Reclaiming Your Hue!

Kelly K. :

Welcome everybody to Reclaiming Your Hue, where we are dedicated to empowering women to embrace and amplify their inherent brilliance. Our mission is to inspire mothers and entrepreneurs to unlock their full potential and radiate their true selves. I'm your host, Kelly Kirk, and each week my goal is to bring to you glorious guests as well as solo episodes. So let's dive in. Good morning, Kelly. Good morning. Thanks for having me on. You're so welcome. By the way, how nice is it to officially meet in person?

Kelli W.:

It's so funny. I feel like we should have met and actually have crossed paths so many times.

Kelly K. :

I agree.

Kelli W.:

But I also believe that things happen exactly when they're supposed to. So today's the day we were supposed to meet in person.

Kelly K. :

I agree. Well, we did see each other this past weekend too, though. And I I think I shared that with you in the prep email. I was like, hey, were you at the women venture? Gala. Was it a gala or was it like a yeah, just is it gala?

Kelli W.:

So the women, uh, what is it? It's women mean business gala. Yeah, yeah. Gala gala. I never know the right way to say it. A tomato tomato. Right. But it was such a great event. I love the organization. The the CEO, Leanne, is one of my good friends, and she does such a phenomenal job with that organization. She was actually a board member originally. Oh. And then took over the organization. I think it's almost five years at this point.

Kelly K. :

Okay.

Kelli W.:

And the work that has been done over the past five years to continue to elevate, to support, to walk alongside women leaders in our communities, women who are out on their own, making impact is just something I'm so incredibly proud of.

Kelly K. :

I was blown away. I've known of Women Venture for quite some time now. And I think that I connected with um Leanne years ago, just through social media. I mean, like this is just what we do now, right? We connect with people through social media, and then we're surprised when we finally meet them in person. Yes. It's like I feel like I've known you forever, however, exactly. This is the first time we're meeting. Um, and it wasn't until a former guest who's been on the podcast, Afira Hassan, um, I found out that she became a board member. And then she invited me to the event. And then, you know, we're just connecting the dots here. I'm like, it's just, it's just so so incredible. And to learn more about that organization, by the way, listeners, I'll make sure to drop the information about this um organization for you so that you can be blessed with the information about it. Yes. Um, but it's just, it was so powerful. It really was so powerful, so empowering. Yes. And their like guest speaker that they had too. I was like, bravo, bravo, just bravo. Thank you for being truly a trailblazer. Yeah. Truly.

Kelli W.:

Yes. I so I've heard her speak before and was so impressed then. But what she shared on Saturday at the Women Venture Gala blew me away. I actually had a tear.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

As I just am so thankful for the work that she did, that her generation did.

Kelly K.:

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

A lot of what I think about when I think about who I am and the work that I do and women and business in general, I think about it as a relay, right? We're all running our leg of the relay. Yeah. And I felt it so powerfully that she had run her race. Yes. She had passed the baton to my generation, to our generation, and then saw that she was needed again. And she talked about it, right? This was a time in which she could sit back. Yeah. She could sit and rest on her loyals. Like that's what she said. Yeah. And she said she's not going to do it. She was standing up, she was taking the baton, running the race like symbolically with us. And that just gave me chills. I was so appreciative.

Kelly K. :

It felt like this is the momentum that we need right now in the world. Something else that really stuck out to me, and listeners, just bear with us because I think that this is really important for the listeners to hear as well. Just, you know, this being a podcast that's geared towards females, mothers who are entrepreneurs. She something that struck a chord for me is that she's like one of the last living individuals who have seen and can still speak to what was what where it had gone and where she continues to foresee it going as well. And the importance of this day and age, just the the way that our culture is, how vitally important it is to just continue to stand up for the rights of human beings, but the rights of females as well, and not let that, you know, potentially take the back seat to other things that are important but are not more important than human rights, correct? Correct.

Kelli W.:

I mean, even listening to her tell the story of being early in her career and being pregnant, and it was it was an embarrassment to the company. Oh and they had her go and work in a different room, a different office. So people didn't see her pregnant. And it just it shocked me, but it also didn't. It also was not that long ago, right? And I and so many of my fellow women in business can tell our own stories of I wasn't put in a room when I was pregnant, but I absolutely was required to travel while nursing.

Kelly K.:

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And pumping in restrooms in airports and having my milk with me going through TSA and having them question why I had so much and why I would leave my baby that long.

Kelly K. :

Ooh.

Kelli W.:

Right? The things that we as women have dealt with in business still today, which is why it's so important. That's one example, but there are so many examples of why we need to continue to run our legs of the relay.

Kelly K. :

We've gone about six minutes in this interview, and we haven't even like really truly introduced you. Oh, yeah. So women venture, fantastic. But let's share with the listeners a little bit about Callie Williams. So I think the first question that I'd like to start off with is like, how did we get introduced? How are we connected? Do you remember?

Kelli W.:

I do. So Erica introduced us.

Kelly K.:

Erica Row like.

Kelly K. :

Yes, that's Erica. I literally was just messaging with her this morning.

Kelli W.:

Oh, I love that. Yes. That's so funny. Everyone is amazing. And when we sat down to connect sometime in the spring, as I was getting ready to exit my full-time role as chief executive officer of a nonprofit that is Midwest serving and getting ready to launch my next chapter of a social enterprise called Legacy Rising that's focused on women and mission-driven organizations. I was sharing with her the vision and the work I wanted to do. And you were one of the first people that she said she needed to connect me with.

Kelly K. :

I love it. It's just so cool. It's so cool. She's she is such a powerhouse and also a powerful connector to of people. I think she just got such a great heart. Erica, we love you. You have such a great heart. And um, I think that she just wants to continue to see all the boats rise. Yes. And I think that I can firmly say that all of the women who have been on this podcast, that's 100% true. Yes. They all want to see all boats rise together. It's not crabs in a bucket, you know, so to speak. And so how wonderful to have that community that's continuing to build and create that kind of culture for women.

Kelli W.:

100%. And the sort of time alignment of that, because I do think things happen exactly when they're supposed to, is the day she and I connected. Her episode of this podcast had just dropped. Really? So she was sharing with me the fact that she listened to it and reflected on sharing and sharing things broadly with the world in a way in which she hadn't before, and all of the mixed emotions and also very much the empowerment of sharing. And so I was I was proud of her, proud to be in that moment, and it just felt serendipitous.

Kelly K. :

Yeah. I I want to share just something fun and quick, real quick. Her episode, I've been keeping track of analytics of um episodes. Of course. Her episode is starting to like quickly rise to the top of downloads. And I shared this with her, and she was like, Why? I go, I don't know, Erica. I think that I if I were to just kind of put something out there, probably because you're speaking to a good chunk of women. Yes. That's exactly right. Yes. There's been so many women who can empathize to that. And I think that there's an other buckets of women too who can empathize with it as well.

Kelli W.:

I think so. And I think she shared her story and parts of her journey that people don't talk about.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And I believe it's so empowering when we say the hard things out loud. And it gives other people permission to share their hard things out loud. And so it was my my guess would be the combination of those things.

Kelly K. :

Yeah, I couldn't agree more.

Kelli W.:

We love you, Erica.

Kelly K. :

We love you, Erica. Now, what came first for you, Cal? Was it is it okay if I call you Kyle? Yes. What came first for you? Was it entrepreneurship or was it motherhood? Oh, really good question.

Kelli W.:

So absolutely motherhood. Okay. I had my oldest son at 17. I got pregnant at 16 as a junior in high school. Oh my gosh. And he became my motivation, my purpose, the thing that pushed me forward. I proudly say that we graduated together three times. We graduated from high school, college, and graduate school together. He was with me the entire way by my side and was really the little propeller that kept me going in the hard days. Oh my gosh. Do you just have one? I have three. You have three? I have three. But that oldest one, my first born, is now 30 as of last month in October. Yeah, we can do the math there. I am getting up there in age.

Kelly K. :

The math is not mathing for me with like the list. Obviously, this is just an audio. We don't have video, but I think that if I had video, the the viewers would go, What? And what's your secret?

Kelli W.:

And that's the fun part for me, I will say. For my son, he gets really weirded out when people say, You two are a cute couple. My response is always thank you with a really big smile. And his is, ew, that's my mom, and she's old. I'm like, actually, I'm not.

Kelly K. :

Young and heart, mom. Young at heart. Young at heart. Oh my gosh. But the math is not mathing. It's just like I'm I'm a little like, I feel like my my brain is glitching right now. Seriously. I want to know your secret.

Kelli W.:

And the best part is I am now uh Coco as well, which is so I'm and we can talk more about this, but I am um I'm Congolanese from the Democratic Republic of Congo. Okay. Some half Congolanese, and the the tribal language of my of my family, of my of my tribe is Lingala. Okay. And um Mama Coco is grandma in Lingala. So the name I chose for my granddaughter to call me is Coco.

Kelly K. :

This is so cool. Oh my gosh. We did not delve into this when we talked over Zoom. And so I'm just like, ooh, this is gonna be so much fun. You have so many different unique perspectives, and it's like, okay, where do we start? Where do we start? Okay, so you had your first 16 going on, 17. Correct. He's 30. You have two other children. What are their ages?

Kelli W.:

Yes. So my daughter is 14. Okay. And then my youngest son is 11. So my my boys, my bookmarks are 18 and a half years apart. Oh my goodness. And it's so funny because I explained to my children, right? None of them are well, so my daughter and my oldest are 15 years apart. And so I always say, You're you're closer in age, just slightly than I am, right, to your brother. And then um my two boys are further in age than I am to the oldest.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And now my 11-year-old is closer in age to his niece.

Kelly K.:

My gosh.

Kelli W.:

Right? Yeah. At just 11 years than is normal. And I think that makes our family unique. And I don't believe in the word weird, right? I I think there's no definition of right or perfect. And so the uniqueness that each of us have in so many different ways is what makes us special.

Kelly K. :

Okay, this is so cool. Seriously. I don't know who the heck would think it's weird, by the way. Probably a lot of people, but anyways, to each their own. Okay, moving on. So when was it that you entered into the world of entrepreneurship?

Kelli W.:

Yes. So I'll tell another story. Okay. Okay.

Kelly K. :

I love stories. I love stories.

Kelli W.:

I love a story. So I was the head of global marketing for a manufacturer and I manufacturing a manufacturer. That is relevant because it's a different industry than industries I had worked in previously. For sure. I came from the advertising agency world and had built my career there and was looking for a new opportunity, something to challenge myself, to take my skills to the next next level. And it really was an opportunity to feel like I had arrived, right? Yes. Yes. So I took on this role. I was the first ever woman in leadership inside of the company. I was the first ever black person to not sit on the manufacturing floor. And I was the first ever strategic marketing leader who was not a family member. Okay. Of this family-owned company. So I was excited for the challenge and I could symbolically see myself shattering the glass ceilings and breaking down the walls and opening the doors, taking them off the hinges for everyone who comes behind me. And that's really what I think about. So empowering. Absolutely. It felt powerful. I felt powerful for a really long time in that role until I realized I wasn't powerful and I was shrinking. And I was shrinking and I was form shifting, if you will.

Kelly K. :

And tell me more about what you mean with that. Yeah.

Kelli W.:

I went from this excited, confident person who walked in as the global head of marketing, breaking down globals and walls. Yes. Global. And shattering glass ceilings and feeling like I could bring in a team, help people build a really powering career, form a department that would impact the business. And I did all of that. And still, I felt like I was standing out too far. There were conversations about my department being a little too loud and having too much fun in the walls of the company. There were times in which I felt like I needed to assimilate more. And what that looked like was I needed to stop wearing dresses because I stood out too much. The heels were maybe a little too much. And so I started wearing more conformative clothes, branded shirts and slacks. And I will never forget one day my peer, the head of sales, called me into his office and the nicest, nicest man, Kelly, come here. Hey, you keep changing, stop doing that. Go put your dress back on. And I laughed. And then I thought about it. And I was like, yeah, I actually have been changing on purpose, but not necessarily thinking about it. And that took me, started to take me down this journey of trying to reclaim my voice and who I was. And oh, I love this. And felt slightly more empowered until me getting stronger had the backlash of the president of North America, South America, and Asia Pacific, who was my direct leader, feeling like I was feeling too confident. And so he stopped acknowledging me. And there were so many times in which I would I would say something, I would have an idea in a meeting, and it was as if I hadn't spoken. And then minutes later, someone else would share the same premise, and a conversation would ensue. And I would wonder, is it me? Is it my voice? Is it the octave that I'm speaking in? What is it that makes this room unable to hear me? And so I started communicating more via email. And ultimately, one day there was a situation that had happened. I had an idea of how to solve it, and that was to loan my project manager, who was phenomenal, to help with leading an acquisition that wasn't going well. We got together to talk about this. And at the end of the conversation, I advocated for my team member, which is my job as a leader.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

How are we going to recognize her for the work that she's doing? She's going to be on loan for a full year outside of the work that brings her joy and energy. How can we compensate her? And my boss looked at me and told me to shut the F up. And that I didn't know what the F I was talking about. What I'll tell you is the the work that it took to try to fight back the tears that ultimately I couldn't was so much work. But I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to see him see me have the reaction, not because I was sad, but because I was angry.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

Right. And the the conversation with my husband that evening of I think I need to quit and him saying, Oh, I know you need to quit was helpful. But even after I resigned the next day, and even years later, I can now look back and tell you confidently and not proudly that I didn't quit for myself. I quit because I knew if I didn't stand up in that situation, someone would have the green light to talk to my daughter that way in the business setting. And I had to stand up now for that next generation. That was part of the relay, the race I needed to run.

Kelly K. :

That's so beautiful. Thank you. We could just end this now because, like, I'm kidding. No, there's so much more to unpack here because I I think that you're bringing up some pretty valuable points and whether subconsciously or consciously a lot of women go through this. Yes. Right? In just ways, different ways, shapes, and forms. And then also consciously or subconsciously have that very thought for their son or daughter. Yes. Right? It's like I need to stand up. And more oftentimes than not, it's like if you have a daughter, you don't want to see them impacted the way that you're impacted. That's right. Because there just has to be a better way.

Kelli W.:

There has to be a better way.

Kelly K. :

Yes. So can you put into context timeline for me with when this happened and then when you decided to forge a different path for yourself?

Kelli W.:

100%. So I resigned. It's at this point now been, I believe it was 2018. So it's been about eight years. Yeah. And I resigned without a plan. So how did I become an entrepreneur? I fell into it. I quit my job. I didn't have a plan. And my husband, who is my biggest cheerleader, best friend, we've been friends since high school. Ooh, I love that. Asked me the question where can you make impact? You want to make impact, you want to be seen, you want to be valued, you want to do good in the world. How and where can you do that? And I, of course, am a person that had worked for companies. And so my answer was, well, maybe I should spend more time in the nonprofit world. I was already volunteering pretty heavily. And he continued to push. And his his challenge to me was maybe you can do it on your own.

Kelly K. :

Those husbands. I know. I feel like your husband and my husband would probably get along. Probably. It's really, it's it's interesting. There's a I have parallels to your story, and it's um that the push we didn't think we needed. Yes. And when it when it's presented to us, it's like you look backwards and you go, Well, yeah, of course, this is what I needed to do. Absolutely.

Kelli W.:

Of course it was. But I don't think I would have seen it for myself. And and that's the power of partnership. It doesn't have to be a husband, it can be a really close friend, a family member. But I do believe that God speaks to us through other people.

Kelly K. :

A thousand percent.

Kelli W.:

And I know that my husband and I are together because he's the right person that says a lot of things I don't agree with. And yes, I said that and it's recorded. However, I do know when he's saying the things that I need to listen to, yeah, and that we're divinely created for them to come out of his mouth because I can hear them from him.

Kelly K. :

That's so cool. Yeah. How powerful. Yeah. I agree. I I also feel as if some of that has happened on my end with my husband in relation to transitions, pivots. Um, the word impact is so huge in this family. Like, how can we continue to have impact versus like, you know, money is important and money um provides a specific lifestyle for us and our children. And then also for us to be able to give back, right? And also, what's the invisible impact that we want to continue to have moving forward both individually and respectively together?

Kelli W.:

I love that you call it that invisible impact. Because I do think about the the two sides, if you will, of sharing the work that you're doing to inspire other people. And that's important, right? Yeah. Because when people see, they also can feel inspired and believe they can make that same level of impact. There's also work that doesn't need to be talked about and shouldn't be talked about. That invisible impact of I'm not sharing the donation that I'm making, the investments that I'm planting, that's the invisible impact that also needs to be made.

Kelly K. :

Yeah. Right? I I couldn't agree more. Now, the other to to piggyback off of that, yeah, it's like understanding that it's not probably talked about enough what this invisible impact is, or at least acknowledged subconsciously or consciously. I feel like I'm gonna talk through that quite a bit, those two words. Um we wanna like focus on that big impact, right? And I think this is just really in tandem to your point of like there is these other ways that you can have impact and don't forget about that. Correct. And don't diminish that either, like subconsciously just go, Lord, I'm I'm impacting and it's you know, this is for your glory, or you know, this is for my children, this is for my children's children. Like, what does that legacy look like, which plays into it does your business? All right, let's let's catch the listeners up to speed. Yes, with um when when you decided to jump into entrepreneurship. Yes.

Kelli W.:

So I am in my second, second round, if you will, of entrepreneurship. Oh, okay. So after I left the manufacturer, I launched my own marketing consultancy and did work as a marketing strategist and a fractional chief marketing officer. Okay. Worked with multiple different amazing organizations in that capacity. The through line in all of that was I had been a volunteer of a nonprofit called the Brand Lab for a very long time. The organization was founded in 2009. I started volunteering two years later.

Kelly K.:

Okay.

Kelli W.:

And three plus years ago at this time, I was asked to take over as CEO. So I spent three years leading the brand lab and am really proud of the work I did in that space. And also knew that my energy and my joy came from my roots in marketing, in coaching and mentoring, and continuing to think about the next generation of women in business. So I made the very difficult and also very easy decision to exit my role. And I say difficult and easy because it was difficult because I love the brand lab and always will. It was easy because I knew that my joy and energy needed to be spent somewhere else.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And so I reimagined my previous consultancy where I still want to work with organizations, but I only want to work with mission-driven organizations that are doing good in the world.

Kelly K. :

I love it.

Kelli W.:

And I only want to work with mission-driven organizations that are looking to make greater impact. I also work with women and women and thoughtful male allies as an executive coach. Okay. And I do a lot of storytelling, which is why I say I have a story to share. Because I truly think that through our stories, we can inspire, we can share, we can give other people permission to share their stories and to say the hard things out loud.

Kelly K. :

Spoken like a true marketing guru. I love it. I love it so much. Okay, so I want to I'm going to take a step back. Um, you mentioned fractional. Yeah. For the listeners who are not a hundred percent privy to fractional work. Can you dive into that a little bit more? Um just, you know, kind of touch on it.

Kelli W.:

Yeah. So when I think about fractional work, it truly is having a fraction of my time dedicated to their business. So I um when I was a full-time chief marketing officer, I spent 40, 50 hours a week dedicated to the company I worked for. Now, as a fractional business strategist, culture strategist, and marketing strategist, I spend parts of my time working with different mission-driven organizations and am very clear on what I do and what I don't do, but the things that still need to be done inside of the organization and how I'm gonna show up.

Kelly K. :

Okay. This prompts up another question and actually a highlight as well. So that probably requires boundaries and really good time management. Yes. Let's talk about this. Absolutely. And also before before you really dive into that, I want to just share with the listeners the fantastic bag that you carried in that is the most beautiful Kelly Green color. And I was like, oh my gosh, I just have to have it. Um, but it says this bag carries boundaries, and that's not by accident. Love it. I seriously love it so much. It's just like, hey, I need you to understand something about myself if I don't, if I can't make it any more crystal clear for you.

Kelli W.:

Yes, yes, 100%. It's the perfect alignment. And so this bag is from a woman entrepreneur here in the Twin Cities. It does come in multiple colors, and it just so happens to come in the my favorite color, Legacy Rising Green, which I call Kelly Green. Yes. But it's not the Kelly green that's the true Kelly green, which is like a light green. Yeah, it's a bold green because I'm a bold Kelly.

Kelly K. :

Yeah, I love it. It's so cool. Okay, so I can't I kind of want to get two. Yeah, I want to get that one, but I want to get it just because of the beautiful podcast that I've started, which is all about reclaiming a form of yourself and your coloring. Yes. I kind of want to get a pink one too. Absolutely. Let's start with the pink one because you know, I just go with the theme, go with the brand here, Cal.

Kelli W.:

100%. And what I'm gonna do is make sure you have the link because that way we can hold up and honor and bring light to an amazing entrepreneur here in the Twin Cities that is doing amazing things, but also because I think everyone should ensure that they're holding their boundaries.

Kelly K. :

Okay, let's dive into this. Let's dive into when you were doing your fractional work. Um, and then I'm just gonna like put this next question out there. Yes. About the um the ages of your children at that point. And then let's dive into the harmonization of what that has looked like with you know what you're doing.

Kelli W.:

Absolutely. And you're totally right that all of it is interconnected. And so as a person who is what I lovingly call myself as multi-interested, I truly want to spend time as a person focusing on individuals through executive coaching. I want to spend my time with mission-driven companies as a strategy partner on a fractional basis. Yeah. And I want to spend my time doing storytelling. And I don't want any of those to take too much time away from the other buckets. I want to do all three.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And I believe I can. And so boundaries and being really clear with my time for myself and for my clients is really important. I always say that clear is kind. And I believe it. Clear is kind. Clear is kind. And so I'm really clear about this is when I'm working on your business. This is when I'm not. This is when I'm working with you as your executive coach. This is when I'm not. And it's not to say that if something comes up and you need me, I won't be available because that's the opposite. It's more of setting expectations of when I'm fully in and devoted.

Kelly K.:

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And the times in which I can come back to be a part of when you need me, because I will always be a partner.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

But I'm very clear about when I'm doing things on a dedicated basis and when I'm not. And some of that time is when I'm dedicating my time to myself.

Kelly K. :

Oh, Kelly, you're making this very challenging for me right now. And I only mean it in the way like, which direction do I go right now with this conversation? I mean, you just kind of laid the path for me. Let's talk about this. Yeah. Let's talk about it. And it can, it can totally tie into being a mom.

Kelli W.:

Well, and it does tie into being a mom. So what I will tell you is, um, I will keep this other story short with the point of tying it into being a mom. I made a decision over three years ago, three and a half years ago, to take my daughter who was getting ready to start middle school on a mother-daughter trip. We had to get to Dance Nationals. She's a competitive dancer, and it was going to be on the East Coast. But I decided to extend that trip beyond Dance Nationals and do two weeks. Okay. Just the two of us getting ready for her to go into middle school. And we went to four different places on the East Coast. And in all of those four locations, we saw someone who I know family members on my side, on my husband's side. We spent time with her best friend and her mom and an Airbnb at Dad's Nationals. And in every one of those four locations, the fact that I'm adopted and that I'm from the Democratic Republic of Congo, and why have I never gone there came up. Wow. In every one of those locations, and I didn't bring it up. And as I as I shared, I believe things happen exactly how they're supposed to, and in the timing they're supposed to. And so on the very last day of our trip, I um my cousin came to visit us. She wasn't going to be able to see us on this trip the last minute she was able to come and meet us for dinner. And on her drive, her like six-hour drive to come and see us in New York, she got a phone call from a friend in the Democratic Republic of Congo. And she arrived at dinner telling us gushing, telling us about this conversation. And that's when the entire conversation at dinner changed to her and I taking a trip together to go meet my biological family in the Democratic Republic of Congo. I just got chills. That happened on a Sunday night. I got home Monday morning, told my husband that same day I connected with the former CEO of the brand lab, and she shared with me that she was leaving and that the board would like me to step in. So I planned a trip to the Congo. I took over a nonprofit, and my daughter started middle school all within a very short period of time. I did not have good boundaries. Okay. And what I didn't do was show up as the best version of Kelly in any one of those three situations. I wasn't there for the start of middle school. I wasn't there for her in the way that she needed me. I went to the Congo and learned a lot. It was incredibly emotional. I came back. So I put all of my energy into the organization. My boundaries were not strong. In fact, they were non-existent. I went from being an independent consultant who made the time, was on the PTO at my daughter's school, did all of those things to, well, now she's in middle school. I'm busy. I'm going to focus over here on this nonprofit.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And fast forward when I say it was a hard decision and an easy decision, the easy part was the clear alignment of my daughter's going into high school this year. My son coming behind her is starting middle school. And I refused to be unavailable for either of them in their transition. So good. And so the decision to leave and to launch my consultancy and to hold space for family first was on purpose.

Kelly K. :

First of all, just a uh thought, probably a proper thought. Nonprofit work is hard. Nonprofit work is incredibly hard. And it's also incredible. And it's one of the nonprofits and what they're doing and their missions behind it, if they are mission-based, if they're not, no matter what, it's like it's just hard work. And there's a lot of time that pours into it. And probably, dare I say it, the pay versus the time, I don't know if it equates.

Kelli W.:

What I will say is working in a nonprofit, it has to be something that you love. Yeah. You have to believe in the mission. And And I do, and I did, and I loved working inside of the brand lab. I am so proud of the work that I was able to do walking alongside an amazing team and board of directors. And I'm excited to see that organization continue to thrive. I'm proud of the three years that I was a part of it. I think I made meaningful change and a meaningful push forward.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And yes, nonprofit work is incredibly hard. I don't think I've ever worked harder in my life. I also can say I don't know that I've ever been more proud of the work that I've done professionally.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And so it was a win-win. And I do believe in the nonprofit world, there has to be, if you're volunteering, if you're working, if you're giving, there has to be a win-win. You have to feel like you are doing good and you are getting something out of it that also is good. And I felt that way. I really did. I just, for me, at that time and at this time, as my kids are in their beginnings of high school and college, and my oldest son just became a father, all of my children are in states of transition.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

The right thing for me is to own my schedule and to make decisions based on family first always.

Kelly K. :

I am gonna edit this out.

Kelly K.:

You're fine.

Kelly K. :

Oh my gosh. I could like feel it building too. Seriously, nothing more embarrassing than this, too.

Kelli W.:

Oh my gosh, please don't be embarrassed.

Kelly K. :

Because you're actually human. And this is why sometimes I'm like, as much as I would want to do video, I'm like, do I want to do video? You still have to edit though.

Kelli W.:

You still have to edit, but video is hard. Video is hard because there's uh where am I looking? Am I looking here? Am I looking here? Whenever I interview people, my my speaking coach is always like, you have to keep eye contact. You only look at the audience a little bit. But then it's awkward if you're watching. Why aren't we looking at the camera?

Kelly K. :

Do you ever watch um or listen to Diary of a CEO podcast? Have you ever heard of it? Do you love it as much as I do?

Kelli W.:

I enjoy it a lot. I actually haven't listened in quite some time. It fell off my radar of my priority podcasts. I'm really the um purpose pursuit right now. Um I forget her name, but she's the daughter from Blackish, and she was the star of Groanish, the TV show. Oh, okay, that's her and her mom. Okay. Okay, where do we leave off? We left off about boundaries and um my kids starting school and why I launched into my consultancy at this time frame.

Kelly K. :

Okay, so this is so interesting that we're talking about or in the midst of seasons, seasonal changes. And I think that so many times on this podcast, there have been guests who like we speak to this very point of like, I was in a season, or my children were in a season, so it required more of me to be able to step in. And isn't that just the beauty of taking the bull by the horns and going, all right, well, I've got a business to run that is my business, my business, yes, not anybody else's. Correct. There isn't somebody who's looking at me and going, you have to be here nine to five. This is what is required of you. You can create your own boundaries within your business to push the ball further or go, no, I'm just, you know, this is where I'm at. Yes, this is the season of life that I'm in. And um if my clients love me as much as I think they do, they're gonna understand.

Kelli W.:

Yes, absolutely. And and I am a huge believer in being all in or all out, and I live my life that way. And so when I am in aka, these are my dedicated hours and time that I'm spending with this client, that's what I'm doing. Yeah. And when I'm then stepping out, I make sure that I'm available in all of the places I need to be. And it's important for me to be all in on the P parent Teacher Committee. It's PTC at my son's new middle school because he changed schools this year. That I'm all in on helping to fundraise at that school further, gala or gala, whatever you say. Tomato tomato. Tomato tomato. Um, and that I'm all in and present when I'm sitting across from an executive talking about her career journey and what's next. For me, that's important. And that I'm all in when I'm teaching my class at Minneapolis College of Art and Design and spending my Friday afternoons into the evening with the next generation of young people who are going to be creative entrepreneurs. Always all in on what I'm doing. You're so cool. Seriously, I want to be like you when I grow up. My kids would tell you they do not, and they do not think I'm cool, and they do not want to be like me.

Kelly K. :

Well, that's just how all kids are. You know, when they they just reach a point in their lives, you know, their ages, where it's like, I thought you were cool, and now just not so much anymore. Yep. Thankfully, we are not there in this household yet. They adore us. Sometimes I think that they're like, what was that that you just said? You know, like it's generational year than like, what was that? Or the six seven. Oh six, seven. I'm like, really? So when we start saying six, seven, they're like, oh my God.

Kelli W.:

Yes, eye roll. My 11-year-old told me that I was ruining it for him by continuing to say it. And so shockingly, I say it all the time now.

Kelly K. :

Shockingly, right? No, but it's it's pretty, pretty consistent what you said in this house too. So I do want to um, I want to get some insight into like how you have navigated these seasons with your children. Yes. And I I mean, I'm not I'm almost there with our oldest boy who's gonna be entering into middle school. We have middle school night tonight. Oh, and so time alignment. Yeah. Isn't that wow? Yes, seriously, let's talk about it. Because I think like there's so many listeners who have already been through that, but I think like I keep I keep hearing middle school. I mean, there's just so much that's happening, and it's also really important as parents to be leaning into and acknowledging these changes that are happening with our children, yes, but also be carefully watching too, because peer groups are so vitally important to the impact of our children.

Kelli W.:

They really are. What I know for a fact is that not every child is the same, right? Yeah. And it's so easy to compare children and to think about, you know, this, you know, a peer or my other child did this at this stage, and so I expect this one too. But, you know, if you think of the analogy of kids are like wildflowers and they're all going to grow and bloom on their own time, first of all, it keeps you sane as a parent. Yeah. But secondly, it helps you to understand that sometimes you have to transplant a child a flower from one location to another if that's what's right for that child. And for us, what we figured out is we live in the Noka Hennepin School District. It's the largest school district in the state. My daughter went to the Jackson Middle School, which is in Champlain.

Kelly K. :

Okay.

Kelli W.:

It is one of the, I think it's number one. It's either one or two of the largest middle schools in the state. And when she was getting ready to transition into middle school, we had so much conversation. Is this the right place for you? Are you sure you want to be here? It's so big, you can go to a private school. And she absolutely wanted to stay and go to Jackson. And it was an experience where there was so much going on all the time. And when I say so much going on, the chaos, the noise, the fights that happened in middle school blew my mind. And still that's where she wanted to be. That's where her friends were. And she graduated with graduated middle school with uh with an A-onor roll GPA. And she was just fine. And that little flower can bloom wherever she is and wants to continue. My younger son, he's not the same flower. And what we recognized is that he would not thrive in that environment. So we made the decision, and it wasn't a hard decision. We knew we were going to make the decision as he entered middle school to go to a different school, and it needed to be a place where he could bloom and thrive. So we moved him to a small Catholic school where it is an environment that the teachers know every student, the principal knows every student, and he gets the one-to-few interactions that he needs, and he gets the faith-based education that he needs. Yeah. And it's the right place for him. And it's important as a parent to it's more work. Yeah. Right. But it's important to know that not every child needs the same things. Yeah. It might not look like different school districts, but it might look like different um support systems. And that's our job as a parent to do what we think is best. And we won't always be right. I will say that again. We will not always be right.

Kelly K. :

Hey, listeners, speaking from a woman who's got some experience under her about 30 plus years of parenting. So okay, so I want to take this analogy, a metaphor that you're speaking to about wildflowers as it pertains to our children, right? I think it's so beautiful. I've never heard it before, and I am I I like it. Yeah. I'm it's gonna stick. It's not mine.

Kelli W.:

I don't know where I heard it, but I believe it's a good one.

Kelly K. :

It is a really good one. So thank you for like whoever came up with that, because it's good. I think that this can be true for us as women as well. Or just being in an entrepreneurial space, the importance of understanding like what your environment is that you're going to thrive in.

Kelli W.:

That is so good. I I think specifically for us as women, we have to overcome our own belief in who we see in the mirror. We're often our own worst enemies. And I wish we weren't.

Kelly K. :

I know.

Kelli W.:

Even before we started recording, I said, Oh, I don't like the sound of my voice. I don't like to hear the sound of my voice. I don't think there's something wrong with the sound of my voice necessarily, but I don't like it. It's like the sound of nails on a chalkboard. Right? And there's so many other things that I could go on and on about. I wish I could change this about me. The reality is I am made exactly the way I'm supposed to by God.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And I have amazing, unique gifts that were given to me that it's my job to share with the world. And my gifts look different and show up different than other women's gifts. And it's their job to identify those gifts and share them with the world. And we can't compare our gifts with each other's gifts.

Kelly K. :

It's interesting. And um, I think if the listeners don't already know, it's it's evident that you're you're a woman of faith. And I want, I want to just talk through this with you because I think that it's it's very much in line and parallel to what you're speaking to, which is those God-given gifts that we're given. And it is our role and responsibility as uh children of God to go, what like what is that? Yes, because he has put you on this planet for a reason with the given skills that you have, so that you can have impact to bring that full circle, yes, to have impact and only God knows what that full impact could potentially look like. And that's that's the key word here potential. Um, we all have that potential, yes. And when you start to, it's so fun, which I feel like this is the spot that you're in, and it's a spot that I'm in, is we're starting to not starting, we have realized the great potential. Absolutely. And most of the women who have been on this podcast, that is very much the case. And it's just so cool to to see and hear the stories and your story in this given moment of like, this is what I had done before, or this was the season of life that I was in, and these are the skills that I really pulled or massaged. And this one was working, or this one wasn't working okay in this next season of life that I'm in. I learned over here absolutely that wasn't great, or that was really great. I'm gonna bring it back over here. Absolutely. We're gonna continue to push that ball forward. It's so cool.

Kelli W.:

It really is, it really is, and I think it's important to I think it's important to recognize that the experiences that we have are on purpose, even if they're not positive experiences, there is something we should take with us from every experience. And so when we sit and we reflect on something that maybe wasn't positive, I still think it's important to reflect on what is the glimmer that I see that's coming down from heaven that I'm supposed to learn from this experience.

Kelly K. :

That's silver lining, right?

Kelli W.:

Right?

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

Every time there are so many situations. What I would tell you about the story I shared of being the global CMO of this manufacturer is I gained experience and a title and um opportunities I would have never experienced or gained without that role. That role was career-changing for me. And yes, there were a lot of negative things, but there were so many fantastic glimmers. And I was supposed to be there. I was supposed to experience those pieces, I was supposed to learn the empathy for and the courage to speak and to say the hard things out loud and to never allow someone to steal my joy or take my voice. I learned so much in that experience. And I think that sometimes when we spend time um, you know, reflecting in a negative way on negative experiences, or spend too much time looking around at other people and their gifts and their joy, we steal our own joy from ourselves and take away the ability to see those glimmers.

Kelly K. :

Oh so good. Something else that you're speaking to here is um that situations don't happen to us. Correct. They happen for us, and I feel that from you like it's it's pretty prominent that you have done some clear reflection and understood that what has happened for me in the past is all leading me where I'm at right now and gonna continue to lead me forward. So many times there are the women who stick in this, like, why is this happening to me? Like playing the victim. Absolutely, and that's me just being quite blunt and bold. Yeah, yes, it's that's what it is, and hey, P.S. I have done that.

Kelli W.:

Oh, I have absolutely done that.

Kelly K. :

So I'm not saying it as somebody who has figured it out. I I've I'm saying it from experience, from experience and from a place of the love and want for other people to recognize when that's happening. Yeah.

Kelli W.:

I'm not saying I won't play the victim again one day and have that feeling. Yeah, but I do want and hope and believe that I will learn from that next experience that will absolutely come and look for the glimmer and keep moving. Yeah. When something bad happens, and I and I say this all the time to my friends, to my coaching clients, to my children, things are gonna happen. The question is, what are you going to do next? That is the definition of taking control. You cannot control so many things in this world, but what you can control is the very next thing you do when something happens.

Kelly K. :

Character. Yes. What's your character gonna be like in those trials and those tribulations? And if you are reflecting on those circumstances that have happened for you in the past and how you had dealt with it versus how, you know, like I think we in this very moment can go, there have been so many times where like I have handled a circumstance or a situation, whether it's as a mom or as as a wife, or in a business setting where I'm like, ooh, that didn't feel too good. Yes. Or wow, why did I just respond that way? And you you connect the dots backwards and you're like, well, moving forward, I want to be able to handle circumstances that come my way in a little bit better light. Absolutely.

Kelli W.:

And I also think there's power in sharing the discovery and the story of that too, right? I last week, very unproud of myself. My husband was out of town. I get up and make breakfast for my kids each morning, and then they both in two different directions. My daughter gets on the bus, we drive my son, walk out the door before seven. And my son was doing a whole lot of not appreciation of the pancakes and sausage and eggs and all the things that I made for breakfast, coupled with getting myself ready to start my day.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And his dad being out of town. And I was so frustrated with him. And then my daughter, who had just come into the kitchen, said one thing, and my frustration went out on her. Lit you up and lost it. Right. So unproud of myself. And I had to put myself in timeout for a quick second. And then I had to come back and apologize.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And let her know she didn't deserve that. That was not okay. And gave her enough context to know that it had nothing to do with her.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And it was not okay.

Kelly K. :

That repair with our children is so important. Yes. It's so important. And again, those like being lit up or the volcano bursting. Yes. Ooh, can I resonate with that? Totally. I mean, that's just, I mean, those are vulnerable like touch points for us as moms. Yes. Right. But to go, mm-hmm. That wasn't something I was proud of. And to kind of coach yourself through it, but then also come back and go, not a proud moment of mine. Here's why it happened. Yeah. Nothing to do with you. Please have a great day at school.

Kelli W.:

And also get out the door right now. There's no more tennis. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Kelly K. :

Coach, coach, coach. Let's go. Let's go. I'm being very nice. I'm being very nice. Let's go. Oh my goodness. Yeah. It's this is just. Yeah.

Kelli W.:

It's the question of what are you going to do next? Because things are going to happen.

Kelly K. :

Yep. Yeah. So that brings me to this nice next little segue, which is um we all have our peaks and our valleys, right? And as we're kind of talking on the heels of this, I'm curious if you're if you're willing to share one of those dark moments. And you may have already shared this, right? Um, I think that we all kind of have that like this is rock bottom for me and how you navigated through it.

Kelli W.:

Yeah. Um, so absolutely, I mean, I've shared some. What I will say is I just recently started talking about the fact that when I had my son at 17, and even backing up, when I was pregnant at 16, my parents, who have three adopted children, knew for sure I should place him for adoption. And I did. I placed my son for adoption from the hospital. He went home to California with his adopted parents, and I hit rock bottom. I didn't want to disappoint my parents who were already disappointed. Yeah. I also knew that I wanted my son. And what I will tell you, and I don't know if I've ever said this publicly, but I don't think that there are accidents. And I wouldn't even say that I got pregnant by accident because I actually knew where babies came from.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And so it wasn't an accident that I got pregnant. It wasn't smart.

Kelly K.:

Right.

Kelli W.:

It wasn't an accident. Yeah. And I wanted my son, and hitting rock bottom and recognizing that I didn't want to live without him was something that took me to a whole new place in my life and truly redefined my life. And finally, truly in Minnesota, you have 10 business days to change your mind after placing a baby for adoption. And the night of the final day was when I finally found my voice and finally stood up and advocated for the fact that I wanted my baby, even if I was going to further disappoint my parents.

Kelly K.:

Yeah.

Kelly K. :

What's the next part to this story? I mean, we know that you like we know that you got him back.

Kelli W.:

I got him back. And I, in doing this, and the joy and hard times of raising a baby as a baby. Yes. Um is a full story and it's my story. The other part I recognize in this, as I am now in a very different way reflecting on that time in my life, is I also caused significant harm to the family who wanted a baby and had a baby for more than 10 business days.

Kelly K. :

Yeah. Oofda. Trauma with a capital T. Yes. So yeah, a lot of onion layers being peeled back in that particular circumstance. So you've got on one side of that coin, I'm the mom. And it's I mean, holy moly, Kelly. Yes. So much to unpack there. And we do you want to unpack? We can absolutely unpack. Do you want to continue to unpack? Okay. So much to unpack. It's like on one side of that coin, you're so young. Oh my gosh. And just like the hormones at that point, you're in your goodness. Yes. And you're having it, you have had a child. You've got the dynamics of um family. You've got the dynamics of you. You have the dynamics of the adopted family. Yes. And the dynamics of your child. Yes. Yes.

Kelli W.:

Yes. This child who was the first ever person that I had ever met that shared my DNA. And as an adopted person, that meant so much to me. It still does. That too.

Kelly K. :

You have the dynamics of being adopted. Yes. I bet listeners are like, but there's more. But there's more. So wow. I mean, do you have do you have time to share a little bit more about like how everything has unfolded from this? And um I mean, you you know how everything has unfolded, but I'm curious, have you had have you been in touch with that adopted family?

Kelli W.:

I've never talked with that family again. And and partially I think they probably didn't want to talk with me again. I think the other part of the truth is I wasn't mature enough to have done that and to have done it well. I what I know is I made the right decision for me. And the truth is over the years, I've questioned if I made the right decision for my son or not. And I also know that things happen the way they're supposed to. And so my my comfort is it wouldn't have worked out if it wasn't supposed to. And things work out the way they're supposed to.

Kelly K. :

Yeah. Oh that's so good. Yeah. Now, as a woman of faith, talk myself and the listeners through like how have you navigated all of this through being a faithful woman, too.

Kelli W.:

Yeah. One of the most amazing things in that whole situation was I'm adopted through Catholic charities.

Kelly K. :

Okay.

Kelli W.:

And and my son was placed for adoption through Catholic charities.

Kelly K. :

Okay.

Kelli W.:

And so a part of, again, in this realization in the recent history that I've had of who I am and how I became who I am is the journey with Catholic charities and the adoption counselor who I worked with who helped me through that process. And on the flip side of changing my mind or truly articulating what I really wanted by getting him back, then positioned me to start sharing my story with other teenagers. And I had an amazing opportunity to go into other Catholic churches with other teen moms to talk about abortion and to talk about adoption and to talk about being a teenage mom.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And the the purpose wasn't to encourage any of these, but instead to ensure we were having real conversations and helping people understand what the outcome of all of us know where babies come from looks like. And how those those choices impact and can impact our lives. And for me, the the years of graduating from high school and college and graduate school with my son were really hard years. But I will tell you, it was harder to start working full time and to all of a sudden have a second grader, because that's what Grady was in when I started working full-time. Okay, who had a parent-teacher organization I wanted to be a part of and had band concerts, but I was working, and navigating that transition was actually harder than going to college at Iowa State out of town without any family by myself with a baby.

Kelly K. :

Oh my gosh.

Kelli W.:

It was harder to be a working single parent. Oh my gosh. And I would also say today, being a co-parent with my husband, who is a phenomenal father and at some times I think maybe a better parent than I am, the the negotiation of decisions is different and sometimes harder than just being the um the CEO of our house. Yeah. Yeah.

Kelly K. :

Yeah. Oh. You were such a light. Seriously. Like, I don't know if you saw me getting a little emotional there, but I I'm like, there's so much of that onion layer that's been like peeled back. And I'm I'm inspired by you, like truly inspired by the perseverance and just like flipping the statistics upside on their head in this moment. Because statistically correct. The odds are against you, right? The odds were I should say the odds were against you. 100%. And you just gave it the big old middle finger.

Kelli W.:

I did. I also would say I can't fully own that either because I couldn't have done all of this by myself. I couldn't have done this without without God. I couldn't have done this without my faith. I couldn't have done this without my family. And I couldn't have done it without my villages of amazing humans who have walked alongside of me throughout my life. And that I know undoubtedly for a fact, every single one of those groupings of people of my Lord and Savior are the how I've done it, and also why I know that I can continue to do it and why I share my stories because I want to inspire other women that they too, things will happen. Life will be hard.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And we will be okay.

Kelly K. :

I want to expand too on this what I mean by like you're such a light. I'm I I've shared like the inspiration that I'm drawing against, uh not against drawing from all of this and what I'm continuing to learn about you, which is just so incredible. But mentorship too, like and you were doing it at such a young age. Yes. And no wonder you're doing what you're doing now, and you know, everything in between too that has just led you to the point of what you're what you're doing now, which is so incredible. Something that I wanted to dive into is I talk, I I mentioned like statistically, yes, like how much you were up against, and this is where I want to take this. So your adopted family, yes, at that point, obviously faithful individuals too. They're you know, they adopted you, and uh faith was very important to them. Um what they were navigating through at that point with um a child out of wedlock, a child when you were young, and how they persevered too. They persevered against what religion correct, correct, especially like the Catholic religion, and just you know, if you flip open the Bible, right? Like what what is conveyed throughout the Bible too absolutely and just going actually they I'm sure that there was a lot to navigate through this, but eventually they just decided to lead with love, and how how important that's been for you.

Kelli W.:

My parents have always led with love, they are um amazing individuals who made this decision to adopt biracial children before they were ever married. So my parents are both white. Okay, and I and my siblings were all born in this in the 70s. I was born in the very, very end, but all of my siblings were born in the 70s.

Kelly K. :

You just gave away your age. But I already said when I said I was 17 and I have a 30-year-old. So the math is not mathing. The math is not mathing.

Kelli W.:

But for them, it was in the 70s, um, interracial relationships, marriage had recently been um approved, become became law. And there were a lot of biracial children that weren't accepted and weren't wanted in these relationships, and um at the at that time, and so my parents made this decision that they wanted to adopt two biracial children. They were going to have to and adopt two, and they had my oldest brother adopted my sister and my brother, and then received a phone call from Catholic charities that this little girl who was in air quotes aging out of the system because I was already three months old and in foster care couldn't find a home. And the way they they said this was she meets the description of your other two adopted children.

Kelly K.:

Wow.

Kelli W.:

And my parents changed their plans for how they wanted to live their life, what they wanted their family to be structured with, because they led with love, and they said yes. And I wasn't a plan, I wasn't a planned adoption. I was the the fourth person, the first, the fourth child, the sixth member of the family. And again, to a family that I wasn't planned for because my parents led with love. Then I could tell you about all of the hitchhikers that came in the car with us on family road trips. That I'm like, we could have died, mom and dad, but they couldn't drive past someone on the side of the street that was in need. The number of people that lived with us, I remember refugees living in our house, and I remember soccer coaches on one of our teams not having a place to live. So they lived with us for a while, and the foster kids that lived with us, and the fact that over and over and over again my parents have led with love. It's it was not what they wanted for me to have a child at such a young age. Yeah, but it was never a question of will they still love me? Yeah, will they support and lead with love?

Kelly K. :

I'm curious when you made the decision that you wanted your child back, what were those conversations like?

Kelli W.:

You know, I um it truly was it was a conversation and work that I did with myself the entire time. And the conversation with my parents looked like me walking into the room that they were watching the evening news in, literally the night before it was a done deal and the adoption was final, and saying to them, I want my son back, and them not even hearing me because I probably whispered because I was so scared, and them asking me to say it again, and me then at that point yelling it. I couldn't find that middle normal speaking voice. Yeah. And they went into action. The reality is, you know, it was well, we had to get to California to get him, and my dad and I took a red eye, and my dad, I don't think, had ever changed a baby's diaper in his life because my mom had been a stay-at-home mom and he had worked, and he and I together in a in an air, in a, I think it was an airport hotel because it was cheaper at the last minute, um, trying to change diapers and trying to figure out how the formula works and all of those different pieces. And I think my dad fell in love with my son on that trip and the bond those two have had, my son's entire life, is is so meaningful. Um, and and also it was an important experience for my dad and I have had to have had together as well.

Kelly K. :

Wow.

Kelli W.:

I'm trying to like control my emotions right now. My parents are amazing people, and none of us are perfect, and I could tell you all the ways that they're not, but I won't. Yes. But I will tell you all the amazing ways that they lead with love and have always led with love. And just stepped up.

Kelly K. :

You know, I think that that's probably an important thing to know, too, is just like anybody for that circumstance that is able to step up in the times of like. Huge, like huge moments. Yes. And stepping up to the plate and going, Yep, we're doing this. Let's knock it out of the park. Yes.

Kelli W.:

And bringing home a baby that wasn't planned to come home where we didn't have a crib or clothes or a car seat or diapers. Frantic. Fill in the blanks. And and my mom, you know, working with me to get all of those things. And when I say working with me, I mean we went to the store together. I didn't have any money.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

Yeah. And as a as a parent, and my kids, you know, have these assumptions of things I should get them.

Kelly K. :

Yes.

Kelli W.:

Sort of that assumption, of course, my parents should get all these things for this baby that I decided I now. You're a baby thinking.

Kelly K. :

Right. Yes. Yeah, you had mentioned that early on in this conversation about like I was a baby. You know, I was still reliant. Correct. And not, I'm dependent and reliant. And then that also means that like I've I'm gonna be reliant and dependent on them in a different way.

Kelli W.:

Yes. Two. My parents added a dependent financially for sure.

Kelly K. :

Well, thank you for sharing absolutely more about that like crevice. Yes. Right? It's that couldn't have been easy to go, all right. Well, it's time to unpack all of this. And you've already done the unpacking, it's just unpacking it here for the listeners. And what bravery and courage. Seriously, I'm so so stinking inspired by you and proud of you because that's frankly a lot.

Kelli W.:

It is, it is a lot, and and the hard things have to be shared out loud, not because someone else has had the exact same journey, but because other people have had other things that have happened. And it's important for all of us to know we are not defined by the hardest thing we've been through. We're defined by what we do next.

Kelly K. :

Yes.

Kelli W.:

And if we are in a hard season, knowing we will be okay, it's important.

Kelly K. :

Kelly, that was so good. Thank you. We're gonna we're gonna timestamp that one because that was just so so important for the listeners to hear and for me to hear too. I mean, it's yes, and yes, and yes. We are not done yet, but we're gonna start to land the plane. Okay. I could sit here and talk to you for hours, by the way. So, my my ask of you is that we continue to have conversations above and beyond this because man, you're so cool. So you also I love this room that we're sitting in. Thank you. I will accept it. Um, as somebody who has been mentoring for a huge chunk of your life, I'm curious what is a piece of advice? Let's start with a piece of advice that you would give a younger version of yourself. Yes. Knowing and having been through all that you have been through.

Kelli W.:

Yeah. What I so I actually have reflected on a letter to my younger self. In fact, it's it's a bit of the theme of the book that I'm writing. So I'm writing a book. Kelly.

Kelly K. :

Is there anything she hasn't done?

Kelli W.:

So it's part of my storytelling aspect of the work that I do. And it's the book is called Um Dear Daughter, and it's a love letter to the next generation of women in business, specifically my daughter, and of course, my granddaughter. Just a tearjerker right now, seriously. Oof. But it's all about sharing these letters of inspiration and truth and healing and light and love to this next generation, but also back to our generation and to myself. And so something that um I can tell you from a tearjerker perspective, for whatever reason, about four years ago, uh as we were decorating for Christmas and we took out all the Christmas ornaments and were putting them on the tree, I saw this ornament of it's a picture of my son who was about two at the time, my oldest son and myself. And I just looked at little baby Kelly, who would have been 19 or so in that photo. And I started to think about and I started to talk to her, and I just started to weep as I saw her, I think for the first time, and the the life she was living and wanting to protect her and wanting to tell her it would be okay, because 19-year-old Kelly was in an abusive relationship. 19-year-old Kelly was going to college and working really, really hard, but not really understanding if and when I would be self-sufficient and not reliant on my parents, and when or if I could ever be someone my son would be proud of. 19-year-old Kelly was sad and broken. And I just wanted to tell her she would be okay, and that it would be okay to no longer be with my son's father, and that I could find love in the world without him. And it would be okay to continue to go to school because I was good at it, and it would serve me well, and that it would be okay, and eventually I would make it as a parent in a way in which I could be proud of who I was and what I was showing my son and now all of my children. Yeah. But I sure didn't know it at 19 in that photo. And I wish that I could have gone back in time and told her that.

Kelly K. :

I'm long pausing because I'm just letting it sit for the listeners and for myself for that matter. It's so easy to get wrapped up in what is happening right now. Yes. And absolutely. We're gonna pull the big man into this. God's got the He's got the plan. He does it.

Kelli W.:

It's gonna be okay. And you're right, it's a hard time. It's such a hard time. And what we can do right now is decide what we're going to do next and to decide to find the glimmers. Yes. And the glimmers of hope and light and inspiration and the confirmation that we are taking the right next steps because we can't control it all. There are so many things we cannot control, but we can control how we show up each and every day.

Kelly K. :

Would your advice be different or similar to a woman that's listening right now who is nibbling on the edges of entrepreneurship and also feeling like they're just in a really tough spot right now, whatever that particular circumstance is, to just kind of speak to your story.

Kelli W.:

What I would tell her, us, is we we have to be sure of what we're going to do next in the big picture sense, but we don't have to be sure to take a step. And so if you're considering entrepreneurship, do your research. Start to discover what brings you joy, what fills your cup, what you want to do, and start to take steps in that direction. And when it's clear that that's the right direction, if it becomes clear that that's the right direction, run down that path. But if you start to take those steps and it doesn't feel right, the timing might not be right. That doesn't mean it will never happen. It might just mean that this isn't the time.

Kelly K. :

It's like the the proverbial like if you hear a no on the sales side, it doesn't mean no forever. It just means no right now.

Kelli W.:

That's right. That's right. But I would also say this is the time to start taking steps in a direction that fills you and brings you joy. And that may look like a lot of different things, including entrepreneurship.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

It might look like a lot of different things, including volunteerism. It may look like a lot of different things, including using your voice and your resources to help other people. There are so many different ways to fill ourselves, and I think we should all explore them all.

Kelly K.:

That was so good.

Kelli W.:

Thank you. How can our lovely listeners get connected to you? Yes, absolutely. So my website is legacyrising.com. And legacy is because I believe each of us are living in our living legacy, and we get to decide each day how we're going to define what our legacy will be.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And rising because I'm I'm still a work in progress and I am still rising into the woman I was meant to be.

Kelly K. :

I love that so much. Two more questions. One more question. Maybe. I don't know. Sometimes I get off on a little tangent. Okay, so who would be a good connection for you? Yes.

Kelli W.:

So I love talking with women in business. I love walking alongside women in business. I have on my website a place where you can connect with me and I will spend 30 minutes with any woman that reaches out and asks for time. If she wants to talk about an idea she has, a problem she's facing, uh things she wants to celebrate, I always make time for those conversations. I also love to share my stories to inspire other people and to help other people believe they also can. And so the right connections for me are opportunities to share my stories, to get on a stage and to tell my story. One of my keynotes that I've been now recently sharing for the first time about my story to becoming a mom is my joy in keynote. And it's focused on finding joy in life's journeys through the ups and the downs and everything in between. Because as we talked about here today, things will happen. It's about what you do next.

Kelly K. :

Again, is there anything that you can't do? So many things. Which leads me to my next question. Yes. When can our listeners potentially get this book?

Kelli W.:

So the I am giving myself the space and the grace to do it right. Okay. I started writing a book in 2020 and it was called She Boss. And it was all about being strong and being a powerful woman. And I still think I am to some extent a Sheboss. But I don't think that's the story I was meant to tell.

Kelly K. :

Yeah.

Kelli W.:

And it wasn't the right time.

Kelly K. :

Okay.

Kelli W.:

And so I became very clear on Dear Daughter a few years ago, but it wasn't the time to start writing. And so I started writing this this spring. I'm working working with a book writing coach who is phenomenal. And our intention is to have the book complete by the end of 2026.

Kelly K. :

Oh my gosh, Kelly. This is so cool. Yeah. Thank you. I will be one of the first. Mark my words. I will be one of the first. So you have to oh I will have to get that into my lap. I absolutely will. That's so cool. And I love that you are you're following your gut. Yes. On making those decisions, right? Because it's so it is so easy to, you know, have the the inspiration to like one do that, but then to have the bravery to go, actually, I'm not gonna continue to forge down this path. It just doesn't fit anymore. Yes. And isn't that just sort of the the the silver lining in all of this that you can make pivots, you can make changes, the the big old man up top is guiding you, and it's up to you to literally go where like how am I gonna follow these breadcrumbs?

Kelli W.:

Yes, and where can I use my my God-given talents and gifts in the right way? And I mean, I was 75% done with Shebas when I put it on the shelf. And and there's no part of it that lives in dear daughter today. Okay, not because there wasn't value in Sheboss, and not because one day I won't go back and pull some of that content and reuse it, utilize it somewhere else, but it's not part of what I know I'm supposed to be doing today.

Kelly K. :

So good. Can I just make a note? Yes. You're totally a boss, babe. And there's a softness about you that is very, very evident. It's like surrounding you, and that's when you said you made that pivot. I was like, that's mm-hmm. Yeah, it just wasn't right for me. Yeah, Kelly, you are an inspiration. Holy cow! I am so glad that we had this date planted and we're here, and you've shared your story, and I can only imagine that there's gonna be so many listeners that are just socks blown off by your story. So not to puff you up, but like, yeah, pretty, pretty amazing and feel truly honored to have you here sitting across from me and and talking about all of this. And um, I can't wait until you're up on stage doing it more and more more often. And I think eventually I'll be there.

Kelli W.:

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.

Kelly K. :

You will be there, and and we'll be the first to have the book in my hands, like one of the first.

Kelli W.:

Well, and maybe one day I will just manifest. Maybe one day we're supposed to sit on a stage together. Hmm, because you're pretty amazing.

Kelly K. :

My stomach just dropped and got butterflies like all in one fell swoop. Even more. Which means God's going. Yep, yeah. Kelly, this has been so fun, so amazing. I hope you have a great rest of the day. You too. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for listening. And if you enjoyed this episode and know of any inspiring mamas who are powerhouse entrepreneurs, please help connect them with myself and the show. It would mean so much if you would help spread this message, mission, and vision for other Montpreneurs. It takes 30 seconds to rate and review, then share this episode with your friends. Until the next episode. Cheers to reclaiming your hue.

Head Shot

Kelly Kirk

Host