Reclaiming Your Hue: A Podcast for Women Rediscovering Themselves in Motherhood & Entrepreneurship

Ep. 85 with Robyn Graham | Owner, Robyn Graham Coaching & Podcast

• Kelly Kirk • Season 1 • Episode 85

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Heal Yourself, Rewrite Your Family’s Future

What if the fastest way to calm your child’s anxiety is to regulate your own? We sit down with Robyn Graham—a mother, former pharmacist, and top 1% podcaster—who now serves families as a faith-based anxiety coach blending neuroscience, psychology, and Scripture. Her story threads through corporate life, a bold pivot into photography, and a clear call to help parents heal so their kids can thrive.

We dig into why today’s teens ride a constant dopamine roller coaster and how social media’s blue light, metrics, and comparison loops fray attention and mood. Robyn lays out a simple but powerful plan to stabilize the nervous system at home: pause before reacting, step outside for five minutes of light, move your body daily, and make family meals a non-negotiable. She also draws a firm line on safety: if a child voices suicidal thoughts, therapy comes first, and medication can be a life-saving bridge. Faith and clinical care are not rivals—prayer can anchor the process while evidence-based treatment does its work.

Food and light become unlikely heroes in this conversation. We explore the gut-brain axis, the impact of ultra-processed foods and dyes on mood, and how quality protein and whole foods support calmer days. Then we talk circadian cues: morning sunlight to kickstart energy, evening light to cue melatonin, and practical winter routines when the sky turns gray. We close with the courage to pivot—how Robyn evolved her career without losing her core, and why organization, clear messaging, and SEO updates matter when purpose shifts.

If you’re a parent who wants fewer meltdowns, better sleep, and a stronger bond with your kids, this episode offers clear tools and grounded hope. Subscribe for more conversations at the intersection of mental health, parenting, and purpose, and leave a review to share what shift you’ll make this week.

Resources Mentioned


Connect with Robyn:

Contact the Host, Kelly Kirk:

  • Email: info.ryh7@gmail.com

Get Connected/Follow:

Credits:

  • Editor: Joseph Kirk
  • Music: Kristofer Tanke


Thanks for listening & cheers to Reclaiming Your Hue!

Kelly:

Welcome everybody to Reclaiming Your Hue, where we are dedicated to empowering women to embrace and amplify their inherent brilliance. Our mission is to inspire mothers and entrepreneurs to unlock their full potential and radiate their true selves. I'm your host, Kelly Kirk, and each week my goal is to bring to you glorious guests as well as solo episodes. So let's dive in. Good morning, Robin. Good morning, Kelly.

Robyn:

How are you? I am just Dandy. How are you? I am great. Thank you. It's an honor to be here. I so appreciate you.

Kelly:

Well, let me just tell you something. I am honored as well to have you on here. I feel like I'm in royal, like in the presence of royalty right now with somebody who also is a podcaster and is like top 1%. So we'll end up talking about that here at some point in this interview. But let's go ahead and get started. I would love, love, love for you, Robin, to share if you remember how it is that the two of us even got connected.

Robyn:

I believe we got connected through Andrea Anderson. Is that right? I think we did we connect on LinkedIn. She did an introduction. We connected on LinkedIn and then we had a phone conversation, and then we had a second phone conversation. And in between that, I had also met somebody else from your area, I think. Diane Alderman ordman. Erdman.

Kelly:

Yes. Awesome. Oh my gosh. Yeah, she's incredible. And Andrea is just so incredible too. She's connected me to several other individuals who have also been on the podcast. Um, Elaine Langford, who you know also.

Robyn:

Oh, yes. Absolutely. I'm on the board for Elaine. Yeah. She steps forward.

Kelly:

Yeah. And I mean, what she is doing is just absolutely incredible and powerful as well. So, which is what I love about all of the women who have been here on the podcast in their own specific at lanes, so to speak. They're just doing incredibly powerful things. So, well, let's let's go ahead and and dive into the meat and potatoes, as I like to say. What came first for you, Robin? Was it entrepreneurship or was it motherhood?

Robyn:

It was motherhood, but it was sort of simultaneous. I was in corporate and my when my son was a newborn, not even three weeks old, my husband was invited to go to the corporate headquarters to work. So we had to move from the Midwest to the East Coast, and it kind of rocked my world a little bit. So I actually was I stayed in St. Louis while he moved out here and he commuted back and forth for the first nine months. So then when we moved here, my company didn't have a role for me here. And that's when I started consulting. So I have a doctorate in pharmacy, I was in the pharmaceutical industry, managed care area of the industry. And so I started consulting. And that was my trajectory into entrepreneurship.

Kelly:

Oh, I love it. Now, would you mind sharing with the listeners what it is that you are doing currently for your business?

Robyn:

Yes, absolutely. So I am now a it's really kind of a summary of things, but I'm basically an anxiety coach drawing on neuroscience and scripture. I I partner with women, Christian women specifically, to help them overcome anxiety, navigate anxiety with their children, and eliminate emotional chaos in their homes so that they can have a truly thriving life in all aspects, parenting, relationships, and career.

Kelly:

I think that this is so highly needed at this juncture in life. So to speak. Right?

Robyn:

Oh, absolutely. And it's when we when we talk about anxiety, and and you're so right, the the brain doesn't develop until for girls, it could be low 20s, 21, 22, but most likely it's closer to 25. And now they're saying even even between 27 and 30 for boys or men, young men. So when you think about that and you're throwing all of this stuff at them and you're causing these dopamine hits and then these harsh letdowns when they get off of social media, and that's what's happening when you talk about, you know, when you get off of social media and you feel kind of eh heavy and and not great, that's you you've had a dopamine rush by the blue light, maybe likes, comments, things like that. You see, and then all of a sudden there's letdown, but you've also just consumed content that has you even subconsciously comparing yourself to other people. And the grass always looks greener, but I can assure you that having doing the work that I'm doing and working with the women I'm working with, things look really great. But there's so much inner turmoil that people are going through. And when we talk about anxiety specifically and emotional chaos in the home, quite often, you know, our kids are are more subjective, more subjected to anxiety now than any generation before. I mean, they they're literally calling this the anxious generation. Well, there are reasons for that, and social media definitely is playing a part. But then you have a lot of parents who had their own inner conflict. Maybe it was emotional neglect, maybe it was some trauma, maybe, you know, and it doesn't matter the size of the trauma. When we perceive trauma, trauma is trauma, no matter how big or small that was that we went through. And so we're holding on to all of these things, and we maybe haven't learned the coping mechanisms. Maybe we don't have the emotional intelligence. And so then when our children are anxious and freaking out over, you know, I can't do this, I'm gonna fail, or this, that, or the other, and then we're overreacting because our nervous system isn't regulated. It's just creating this level of emotional chaos that prohibits us from being successful in career because we're we're so exhausted, we're not thinking, we can't access our prefrontal cortex. And I'm going on a rabbit hole here, but it's it's so imperative that we understand collectively what's happening in our family units as well as our communities, because children, teens especially, I think, are struggling today.

Kelly:

Yes. Yeah, I can imagine that I know you mentioned that you work um not only with the the teenagers, but also with the parents. Um is it specifically with the mother or is it with both parents as well?

Robyn:

So most of the time I'm working with the mothers, however, I will work with the dads too. I think dads are often forgotten about. And I think men, a lot of men have experienced different emotional traumas that have never been dealt with. And you know, you've got men who uh overreact. I I had a father like that. Like he was his nervous system was always on fire, and so his reaction was always exaggerated, right? Um, the yelling, the screaming, whatever. And it's that does not help your child. So if there, if there are men that are struggling with anxiety, I will absolutely work with them as well. My primary focus is the woman. And um, most of them come to me thinking there's something wrong with my kid. I don't know how to deal with my kid, my kid is anxious, but then when we start uncovering things, it's it's remarkable how so many times there's just this level of inner turmoil that we uncover, and then they can experience so much transformation, and their relationship with their children gets so much stronger and healthier.

Kelly:

That's so beautiful, it really is. And we don't realize as human beings just how much energy plays a role in all of it, right? Like the energy that we're emitting and putting out there is felt. It totally is, it's so felt, and if that stuff internally as an adult, as a parent who is parenting children, that if there's circumstances that have not been resolved, then that comes out in kind of peculiar ways sometimes, right? And either how we react or are not reacting, and that emits a specific amount of energy as well that is felt, it's majorly felt.

Robyn:

Absolutely. So and I like to say trauma not transformed is transmitted. Wounded people often hurt other people if they have not dealt with their own wounds. And it's it is so incredibly true. And it's it this can go on for years, but there's no guilt, there's no judgment, there's no shame, right? Coming from me because I've lived it. But the important thing is that we all have a choice, right? We all have God-given free will. We can choose to stay as a victim. We can choose to stay as well. I'm like this because my parent did this to me, or I'm like this because my husband did this to me, whatever you want to put the blame on. But the reality is we all have a choice to do the healing work. And that healing work is what becomes transformative, not only for you, but literally it changes the trajectory of your family for generations to come. You're when you heal, you're teaching them it's okay to heal. There are things that go bad in life, but we don't have to stay stuck there. We can move forward. And then you're giving them the grace of a healthy relationship, which helps them pattern healthy relationships for their future.

Kelly:

It's so beautiful. I am very curious how you, Robin, got to this point in life, how this became something that you were passionate about, the the desire to go niche, very niche, right? Let's catch the listeners up. This is gonna go, you know, back several, several years. So I want to kind of sort of catch them up to speed as to like the the transition that had happened with your husband and his position, and then how we got to where we're at today.

Robyn:

Yeah, I laugh because this is so so windy, definitely not linear at all. Um, for a while, my mom would say, I think you just want to be every you want to cover every career that starts with a P, right? I'm like, no, that's not true. But so I started with a doctor in pharmacy. When my husband moved us to the East Coast, I I kind of came kicking and screaming. I was really uh spoiled brat about it because my entire life was in the Midwest. My sisters, my my parents, my dad was still alive at the time. Um, you know, all my friends. I went grew up there, went to college there, you name it. Well, when we moved here, I as I said, my company didn't have a job for me, which so I was blessed they severed me. So I had a little bit of cushion, but I wanted to do something. I mean, I didn't, you know, build a career for myself to just give it up. So I wanted to do something. And I was a doer. Um, I've always been a high achiever, overachiever, doer. And part of that was my way of navigating the anxiety that I'd had since I was a child. So I was introduced by my former boss to um a company out here that he was he had a friend that worked at, and I started consulting for them, and it was great, and I did that for many years. But what was happening was my husband was traveling globally 50% of the time. I was also having to travel for different um conferences, meetings, this, that, or the other because I was consulting. And even though I wasn't working full-time, it was enough that we were disheveled. We were like two ships passing in the night, and my oldest was starting to show signs and symptoms of anxiety. And I was like, okay, not on my watch. He is not gonna live the way I lived. We're putting a stop to this. And my husband and I, and at the same time, the pharmaceutical industry was getting very um uh, I guess, legalized for a lack of a better word, right? Everything was so like anything I wrote had to go through so many layers of review, and it just it was getting to be not so fun and very taxing, you know, with midnight deadlines and this, that, and the other, and then waiting on legal review. It was too much. It was, it was adding to the stress, right? With no family here for support. Well, our the woman that came to our home to watch our daughter had something come up where she was very ill. So she we lost her, and then we saw the signs and symptoms of my son with his anxiety, and I was like, my husband and I just said, you know what, we're not doing this anymore. And my husband looked at me and he said, Robin, you love photography. You light up when you do photography, do something with your photography. And I was like, Are you kidding me? Like, my friends are gonna think I'm nuts. I've got a doctor in pharmacy. Why would I become a photographer? But I've always had that left-right brain combination. And as a child, photography was a passion. I loved it and loved it so much. And so I did. I started a blog and it was more for fine art. And then I had my first client as a branding client, and I fell in love. I was like, this is what I'm meant to do. This was so awesome. And I could do everything on the kids' schedule, which was great because my husband traveled so much and they were travel sports and school and you know, just all the things. So I did that for 11 years, and I built a really successful six-figure business as the go-to headshot and branding photographer. And what I started to see was women were starting businesses, and I wanted them to be successful. And I would create these images very strategically so that they could use them on their website for social media, for SEO on their website, all these things, but they didn't know. And so I would give them the images and they were like, I don't even know what to do with this. And the images would sit there. And here they spent, you know, oftentimes thousands of dollars on these images and then weren't using them. So I started consulting, and then that led to getting certified as a brand strategist and a couple other certifications, and I started the whole business consulting realm. Fast forward to 2022, and I published my first book. I had the podcast. At that point, the podcast was two years old, and I was doing all four things. It's too much. I was like, I can't keep up this pace or something's gonna suffer. I was back to where I was when I chose to just go into photography to make it easier for our family.

Kelly:

Yeah.

Robyn:

So I um decided to give up the photography at that point. I had another photographer in the studio with me, and I sold everything to her and walked away from that. And I haven't really looked back. I miss it a little bit. Um, every now and then, certain like headshot sessions or branding sessions will come into my mind and I'm like, oh, that was so good. I miss it a little bit. But for the most part, the the business consulting was great. I, you know, then just stuck with that for the next, I guess, three years uh two and a half years. And then last this year, the end of 2024, God was just telling me, this is not where I want you. I told you in 2022 when you wrote the book, I want you doing something with mothers and helping them with their children with anxiety, blah, blah, blah. And I, you know, at that point, I was like, I don't have that expertise. I'm not doing that. Meanwhile, looking back, I did a ton of work in psychology when I was in pharmacy. So it is a natural course of action, right? So to speak. Yeah. And so I became, I got my um neuroscience coach certification through ICF. And then I also did this year a master cert master life master coach certification as a life coach, but specifically trauma informed and in parenting and relationships. So that is how I got to today. My goodness.

Kelly:

There's a lot in between there too, but that's well, and I mean, frankly, it's all in the entrepreneur entrepreneurship vein, correct? All of it.

Robyn:

All of it. For the past 25 years, I have been an entrepreneur. And it's I I feel like I'm home now. I also like this year, I also got a certification in amino acid therapy, which goes along with the pharmacy routes. So really, you know, I have the understanding of the mind, the body, and the spirit, you know, through all of my, you know, just work on my faith in my own journey. So it's it's pretty remarkable how this has been, but it it all makes sense. And I feel like this is where I'm staying. I'm not going anywhere.

Kelly:

Just a note that is coming to mind mind, body, spirit. Mind, body, spirit. Yeah, it truly feels like, Robin, that you are fulfilling each one of those categories as it pertains to what you're doing with the consulting, right? Like the psychology component, the um pharmaceutical and body component, and then all that you have been doing and building your relationship with God and that faith piece is I mean, God is probably up above going, yes, like yes. I literally asked my children to live up to their God given skills and. You're doing that. And it it certainly feels like the sense that I'm getting is that you're in a refining moment. You're refining everything so that it's just all in his glory. Truly. That's what it, that's the sense that I'm getting.

Robyn:

I I hope so. I mean, there have definitely been moments where I had my heels dug in and I was like, I'm not doing this. This is too hard. I mean, for next year, he has me, you know, my everything that I'm focusing on is speaking. And it's like, I don't like to speak. I hate to speak. I don't want to be in front of people. But he's said he's telling me, this is where you're going to reach the most people. We need an impact. And and I will tell you, Kelly, we had something just horrific this week. Um, we had a junior in our high school. Not my daughter, my daughter goes to an all-girls school, but this was our public high school here locally. So a lot of her friends know this young boy, and he killed himself. And I just it it breaks my heart to the core because there's there's so much that can be done. And yet the awareness we think, because of social media, people are talking about anxiety all the time, but anxiety has become an excuse. It's become an excuse for poor choices, for being angry at people, for being able to blame an emotional disorder on well, it's psychological and emotional, but it's anxiety itself is a feeling that fear. It's it's blaming and it's just become an excuse. And it's not, it's not that we all have a choice to get the help that we need. And I I think of this family that is now suffering so immensely. Oh, and it's I'm not saying it's the parents' fault. I would never say that. It's no one's fault. This young boy had a hiccup in his brain. Something was not right, and it just breaks my heart. So if I can speak to this, if I can, you know, and I think that's what God's calling me to, like enough is enough. We have to make changes and we have to increase the awareness, but increase the awareness from a place of people getting help, not using it as an excuse for being the way they're being.

Kelly:

That's yes, I can feel the empathy through the Zoom conversation right now. And I feel that too, just in the sense of a lot of what we've heard, even in our part of the world, which is Minnesota. It's very interesting to your point about how we are able to talk so much more openly and freely about anxiety. But yeah, it has provided a sense of a crutch for for the people, and whether you're an adult or you are a teenager and or a child for that matter, and you've got the awareness of that, what that means. And so, you know, what you in the position that you are in as you're consulting, what would you recommend in circumstances like that where you feel, and perhaps you actually have encountered this, Robin, where you are you're consulting with a family and they have come to you because they are concerned about their child potentially going down this path of least resistance, meaning like they have either attempted or they have stated, I don't want to be here anymore. Like what needs to be true in order for them to start to come back and realize there's just so much, there's so much in this world that's actually good. There's so much more in this world that God wants you to move forward with. And he has you set on a path for a specific reason. And it's to fulfill that in his timing, not your timing.

Robyn:

So as a as a coach who follows, you know, all of the ICF ethics and is trauma informed, the very first thing, if a family came to me and said that, or a parent came to me and said, This is what's happening with my child, I would say, okay, this is beyond us. This, your child needs therapy. And your child may or may not need medication in order for them to work with a therapist, because sometimes we have to calm the brain before we're able to understand and actually work with a therapist to experience change. I would probably recommend a psychologist. Um, and I would absolutely recommend that they see a psychiatrist as well, because this is bigger and this is a bigger thing than us. But from there, we would work together. And and with coaching, it's all about powerful questions. It's all about just asking questions because we all have everything we need inside of us. So it's asking questions to the point where they can see what is happening, what needs to change, and how it can change. But it all, it's just it's it's this, it's this ebb and flow of of questions and answers and brainstorming and collectively coming up with the solutions to move forward versus staying stuck.

Kelly:

You're a faithful woman. How is faith playing a piece in a conversation like that, but just in general for you as well? So that's a two-part question.

Robyn:

I my faith is everything. I mean, I I wouldn't be here today if I didn't have the faith that I have. Um when I work with my clients, we open with prayer, we close with prayer. And, you know, there are some people who aren't used to that. And if they're uncomfortable with that, that's that's okay. They can tell me that. And then we may skip that. But I'm praying throughout the entire session. Holy Holy Spirit, please guide me. Open my mind to what you want them to be aware of. And it that may sound crazy to some people, but it he's my source of knowledge, power, wisdom, strength, knowledge, all of it. And I don't have what he has, but what I know is that God's gone before us, each one of us on our journey. So he already knows what this person needs. He already knows what this person's journey has been in the past, and he's gone before them to know what their journey is going to be going forward. So I I I mean, I just like to say I partner with God to help me help people. And it seems to be working. Yeah, it seems to be working very well. You know, when I read the testimonials or I have the comments that my clients say during our sessions, and it's um it we're all faced with different life decisions every single day. And it was cute. One of my clients on Tuesday said, I need a little robin, like a little robin bird sitting on my shoulder so that every time I have to experience this, I'll know exactly what to do or say. And it's just it's it's just when you've gone through things in life, and at this point, my boys are 26 and 24. So I've run the gamut with with parenting with them. My daughter's 18. She's my last one. She's getting ready to go up to college next year. And so I've pretty much experienced it all, right? And there, there have been really, really tough, trying moments. We have had our share of mental health challenges and emotional challenges. And I think God has has given me that journey. You know, there's there's always purpose in the pain. And so whatever we've been through as a family, and whatever I've been through throughout my entire life with, you know, different relationships and things, it's it's all brought me right here to this point in time. And I think for any woman out there who is starting a business, and whether it's faith-based or not, it doesn't matter, but there's a purpose in everything you've ever gone through in your life to bring you right to this moment. And if you take a journal and you just kind of map out your journey, you'll see how God just placed all these little pieces together.

Kelly:

Robin, I want to dive further into the parenting piece because I feel like it's a perfect segue based off of what where we just finalized everything in this part of the interview. And you mentioned that you have had your fair share. And I don't, I don't think that that's unpeculiar to most parents, right? Like I think that most parents have dealt with their own varying circumstances with their children, whether it was when they were younger and they were working through health issues, or there were circumstances where as they were getting older, they were being bullied. You know, like the the list can go on, correct? So for you, let's talk through as you were encountering said circumstances with your own children while also harmonizing that with business. Like, what did that look like? I love that this podcast itself is really about talking about the intersection of those two, like that part right there, and how we as women, particularly in this case, because you and I are both faithful women, like lean into God, lean into our spouses, and then everything else afterwards, right? Like, what has that intersection looked like for you? And working through that in those moments where it felt like, gosh, this is just like a huge crisis right now.

Robyn:

Yeah, yeah. So I will say I think on being an entrepreneur has been an incredible gift. Um, our lifestyle, I I don't know how we ever would have done it. My husband has never had to take a sick day. He has been able to climb the corporate ladder, have extreme success, and do everything he needed to do to bring to be the provider of our family, right? To to be a great provider for our family. If I had been working in corporate too, we probably wouldn't be married today because our goals, our objectives would have been so career focused and nobody would have been here full-time, hands-on with the kids. Yeah. So that gift of being able to put things down and say, you know what, I can't do a photo shoot today because my child needs me, or I can't get on a Zoom call with a client today. Can we please move to tomorrow? To be able to have that flexibility over the course of these past 25 years has just been a game changer. And I think my children are better off for it. I think if if we had both been in corporate and I hadn't been able to be flexible with my career, that would have been detrimental to our family unit.

Kelly:

I love this because this is of all of the interviews that I have had, there have been little touches of what you're speaking to, which is that becoming an entrepreneur and going into this space of starting your own business has provided the an incredible blessing, which we'll never be able to see. It's kind of like, well, what if, right? What if I, Robin, had stayed in corporate? What if that would have happened? Like then, what would that have led to? And so, really, where I'm going with this is how absolutely beautiful of a statement that you just said about the blessing of going into this and being able to provide a pathway for your husband to be able to lean into his God-given skills and a pathway for you to be able to lean into your God-given skills. And then how you can then both as parents who understand like this is this is a a teeter-totter, right? Like you and then you and then you, and how our kids are being are are in a position to be able to see that because it's being modeled for them. Oh how how is faith for the family as a whole? Is it something that is just primarily important to you, or is it important for the entire family?

Robyn:

It's important for the entire family. And I will say, my my husband's been good about leading that charge. I think I I'm a big, I'm a huge fan of the nuclear family. And I know there are people there are thate times when marriages just do not work out. And that that happens, that's life. Um for us, it faith, I think, kept us together. I think having that faith and and both of us having a relationship with God made it possible for us to get through the hard times, right? We had something bigger than us guiding us and um giving us responsibility too and teaching us how to do it because there were times when it wasn't pretty. I mean, I don't think any marriage is perfect. I think there are always times of you know that are tumultuous or challenging. And and anytime you throw kids in the mix too, that just adds on a whole new layer layer to that. Turn up. Um we we've had an interesting faith journey, and I would say our kids are very faithful. Um, I mean, my daughter's still at home, so of course she goes to church with us on the weekends, right? Um, but we also put them all through Catholic high school, and that I think instilled those additional faith values. But it's always been forefront for us. Like that's always been a priority, and we've always told them, you know, we have all this because God has been so good to us. Like, let's worship him, let's thank him, let's go and learn and be who he wants us to be. And I and I'll say, like my middle one, he he lives down in the DC area, has a great job, and he's thriving and he goes to church by himself on Sundays, or if his girlfriend visits, you know, she goes with him, whatever. Yeah. But my oldest is he doesn't go as often, but he has he has a deep faith. Like, do you know what I mean? Like his he's in grad school, he's got a he's in a different era of his life right now where it's a little more challenging to go every week. But I will say that is his source of hope. And he would say, that is my source of hope, because we have those conversations with them, you know.

Kelly:

So beautiful.

Robyn:

Yeah.

Kelly:

I want to talk through um maybe one or two circumstances that are just really sticking out to you where it was particularly challenging as you were exploring and kind of leaning into specific um aspects of entrepreneurship and then also being a mom. Like I want I know that there's for many of us as moms, we have stuff that happens every single day, right? And and we can kind of shluff it off and go, okay, not a great day. But there's always bigger moments that seem to just, they're like right there at the forefront of our mind, and we're like, oh, I wish I would have done something a little bit differently. Or I feel like I don't know if I could have handled that any better. What does that look like for you?

Robyn:

I would say just my history with anxiety and lack of self-confidence, um allowing comparison and imposter syndrome in um was probably the biggest crux that I experienced as an entrepreneur. It's you know, I look at the the talent that I've had and the gifts that I've had, and I could have used them to such a greater extent over the years had I just trusted in them, in my gifts, you know, and in what God was calling me to. And instead, I allowed fear to kind of hold me back. And that that doubt, and I know, I know many, many, many women experience it. Fear and doubt are the number one cause that women are not succeeding because it is so hard. And I think when we when we go to college to get a degree and we we establish our identity as this person and this thing, right? And then we're shifting and weaving as an entrepreneur, and it's like, who am I? And and there is almost an identity crisis, right? And then you have people asking you questions or people who, because we live in such an online space that or digital world that they don't need, and you think, well, everybody knows what I'm doing. And then you run across somebody and they have no idea what you're doing, and you're like, well, oh my gosh, that means I'm doing a terrible job. I've failed. I'm I'm not, you know, they don't even know what I do and I do all this. And yeah. So I think it's like, I think that was the the doubt, the fear, the like allowing the imposter syndrome and the the comparison to to hold me back. That was that was the worst thing I ever could have done. And if I could go back, it would have, I would change different aspects of that, obviously. But I can tell you that the journey that I'm on now and the healing that I've done over the past couple of years, that has, it's like, no, like I'm being called to make a difference. I am not hesitating anymore. Like I'm gonna shout this from the rooftops if I have to. Um, it's still scary because you you, you know, when you're presenting yourself as this like expert or go-to or the best product or whatever it may be, it's like there's always gonna be someone that challenges you or questions you. And so it's very easy to allow those doubts to come into play. However, if we have faith, then that faith can really guide us into just a trust that pushes us forward and allows us to be bold and courageous.

Kelly:

So good, Robin. Literally, I when you're like talking about faith as sort of the guiding source there, I'm like, yes, yes, and double yes. So another direction that I want to go is I actually want to take a step back and and highlight a part of our interview where you talk about faith and also this is gonna sound silly. I just wrote it down this way. Faith versus medication is how I like had written it down. And I wanna talk through this because you mentioned that there's a time and a place for medication, right? As it pertains to anxiety or as it pertains to just um what is happening internally within the brain. And then how that's being exhibited out externally through the body. I have my thoughts about medication. And I also do firmly believe that there is a time and a place for it. But I also know that there is a time and a place where faith just actually has to be the thing, the guiding thing. So for you as somebody who has the neuroscience background, understands the way that the body works, the way that the brain works, what's the juxtaposition between the two with faith and medication? I think that that's really where I want to go with this, if you wouldn't mind.

Robyn:

Absolutely. I don't mind at all. And I mean, I have a background in pharmacy. So I probably have somewhat of a unique perspective of medication, but I will tell you that the social media, as we talked out about at the beginning, um, has really put a lot of negative connotations on the pharmaceutical industry. Is there a lot of money in the industry? Yes, it is. But nobody knows. Well, not nobody, most people don't know how much it costs to bring a drug to market. We're talking $500 billion. Like it's outrageous, right? But God created the brilliant minds to create these molecules. Are they all equal? No. Are they all meant for good? I think originally, but I think you also have, and I and I'll go on a on a side tangent here for a second, like the DLP1 inhibitors, like you know, that people are taking to lose weight who are not diabetic. It makes me physically sick to think what people are doing to their bodies, to their minds by taking these drugs to lose weight. That's vanity. It's vanity, it's a sin. And they're damaging their bodies for long term. So should those be prescribed? Heck no, unless somebody has diabetes. Now and this is this is just a sore subject for me, but I think it's important because you asked about the drugs. When it comes to mental health, there are times when a person, no matter their faith, may need a little help. And I believe that God created those brilliant minds, as I said, to create those molecules to be able to help people. It's like, have you ever heard the the story where there was a man that was shipwrecked and he's on this desert, deserted island and he's saying, God, please help me, please get me off of here. And God sends a boat and the guy's like, No, no, no, God's gonna rescue me. It's okay. And then he's still there and he's praying, God, please help me, please help me. And then all of a sudden a helicopter's there, and you know, the helicopter's motioning for him to, you know, they're gonna send down a rope, whatever. And he's like, No, no, no, God's got me. And then the guy's like, God, why aren't you saving me? He's like, Are you crazy? I sent you a ship. I sent you a helicopter. Why didn't you take advantage of those things? Right.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Robyn:

So I think our our faith, and I think there's there's we're all unique, right? We all have our our nervous systems are as unique as our fingerprints. So so are all of our relationships with God. And so we can call ourselves a Christian, but are we doubting? Are we right not trusting? Where are we disconnected in terms of our belief that anything is possible for Him? If our nervous system is dysregulated, we can't access the prefrontal cortex of our brain. So, and that's what's happening when we're anxious. Our nervous system is dysregulated. So if we can't access the prefrontal cortex in our brain, what's happening with our beliefs? What's happening to trust? Right? So I think there are times when medication is appropriate. Do I think any everybody should be medicated for anxiety and on medication for the rest of their life? I don't know. It depends on the individual. But what I'm gonna say, if if a medication could prevent someone from killing themselves, then hands down, I'm gonna say, get on the medication. So I think when we're when we're dealing with, and and here's the thing with mental health challenges, brain health challenges, is that we look at someone who is diabetic, nobody's gonna question putting them on insulin or glucophage or something that's going to keep their glucose levels down to keep their heart healthy, their kidneys healthy. Right? Somebody's got high cholesterol, they're not gonna whimper at putting somebody on a statin to keep their cholesterol down so that their heart stays healthy and they don't throw a clot or have a stroke or a heart attack.

Kelly:

Right? Yeah. What about in in the context of food, food ingestion, and how that is linked to moving through anxiety or moving through some of those things? You're shaking your head in a positive yes way. Because I do I think part of the reason that I brought this up is I just I can't unhear or unsee some of the podcasts that I listen to. I don't know if you listen to um diary of a CEO. Um I have, yeah. It's I and and perhaps you have your own thoughts and uh andor concerns about maybe some of the people that he has on there. But he the some of the the people that he has had on have brought to light the high importance of the fuel that we're putting into our bodies, i.e. processed foods versus not processed foods, whole foods, whole foods, and just how vitally important that is actually to the function of our body and or our brains and both for that matter. Let's talk about this. Let's talk about this.

Robyn:

I love I love to talk about this. And you talk about the pharmaceutical industry and how you know people say it's so crooked, the food industry works it, beats it out up until 1970. We did not have a health crisis. Yeah, we didn't. You people can go back in history and look, everything was good until the sugar industry came on the market. And the sugar industry came on the market to make money and they created the sugary cereals and all of the sugary products, right? You look at how bread was made. You go to Europe, you can eat bread all day long. You try to eat bread in the United States, if you're gluten-free, you're sicker than a dog. And there are reasons because they have modified the products and it is toxic. And what all of that has done, and and at the same time, they said, you know, cholesterol was bad, fat was bad, meat is bad, right? Yeah. No, we need grass-fed beef, one of the best things you could eat, because we need so much protein to fuel the neurotransmitters and the neurons in our brain so that we can function. And and a lot of those chemicals are made in our gut. So if our gut is not getting what it needs and we're polluting it with these toxins, artificial sugars, artificial dyes, artificial flavors, and we're loading it with all this stuff, we're our gut is not able, number one, to absorb the good food, and number two, to produce the chemicals that we need for our brain. Our serotonin is made in the gut, not all of it, but a big portion of it. So when you think about that, if your gut's not functioning, then you're not producing the serotonin, which keeps you happy that decreases anxiety.

Kelly:

How much of this are you talking through with the individuals and families that you're consulting?

Robyn:

A lot because it's so important. And especially if a child has anxiety. And let me just tell you, people are resistant because they don't want to upset their child. And I I've lived it. My kids loved, you know, but like MMs, for example, if my son ate a red or a blue MM, he was wild. Wild. Isn't that crazy? And because those dyes triggered his nervous system. And he's not the only one I know that has had this happen. But it's our bodies are that sensitive. If you think about, you know, you go to a Super Bowl party and it's like, oh, I'm gonna splurge because it's Super Bowl, or it's Christmas, and you, you know, I'm gonna splurge and I'm gonna, you know, how do you feel the next day?

Kelly:

Oh, like absolute garbage.

Robyn:

Right? And it's not about the weight, it's not about, oh, I I might have gained weight yesterday because I ate so bad. The body doesn't feel good. Yeah.

Kelly:

The body, the body keeps score. And there's a book out there about that too. I don't know if you've read it.

Robyn:

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's it's absolutely crucial. It's absolutely crucial that we nourish our body with whole foods and meat. Meat is important and grass-fed, you know, grass-fed meat, pasteurized chickens, you know, where they're out just floating around and they're not given all the growth hormones and all of the uh antibiotics and all of that stuff that just all of that goes into our body. If so, if you're consuming that, I encourage you because people think, oh, it's too it's too expensive to eat healthy. It's too expensive not to eat healthy because the the complications that you're gonna have later, oh and you can't put a price tag on quality of life, right?

Kelly:

I mean, you're in essence, it's it's uh a recipe for ending your life early and or um having complications, you know, such as diabetes or, you know, gluten intolerances, or or or and then I mean, effectively you're going to be at that point in a bit in a decision mode of like, am I going to now make these adjustments and changes and how much damage have I already done to my body at that point? Or am I at a point now where I'm visiting the doctor so frequently and nobody can figure out what the heck is happening with me, which seems to be the case more oftentimes than not now with our healthcare system, which is another really challenging. Yeah, don't even get me started on don't I'm like no, I'm like, don't, Kelly, don't go there. Don't just don't.

Robyn:

I I have a lot of I have a lot of opinions and I'm very opinionated, but um no, I mean there's there's a harsh reality there, right? It's much easier to be prophylactic than it is to have to deal with all this at the end. It can take weeks, months, years to figure out what's wrong with the body if you're not taking care of it. And exercise and a healthy diet can resolve a lot of problems. A lot of problems. And sunlight and sunlight. Oh, and sunlight and sunlight. I mean, here's the thing: our eyes have so many mitochondria in them, and mitochondria is what our body, you know, that like kind of carries the energy through the body. Well, if you look at the light in the morning, the sunlight at sunrise, when it's low in the sky, and you look at the sky, and those that light comes into your eyes, it kickstarts your day, it kickstarts your body, it lets it know, okay, this is it's time to get going. We're gonna increase the cortisol, decrease the melatonin, we're gonna give a little boost of serotonin, maybe a little dopamine, and we're gonna get moving. And then you go out midday, the light's completely different. You need that energy for the afternoon. That's how you're gonna get that energy. And I'm not saying go out and look directly in the sun because my gosh, that will blind you. But yeah, you know, without sunglasses, not through the window. Actually get outside. And then in the evening, when you go out and you look at the sunset light in the evening, that it triggers melatonin. Okay, it's time to shut down the cortisol, it's time to get ready for bed, and then you rest better. And there's so many natural things we can do to help our nervous system. Being in nature is crucial, movement is crucial. Go for a walk around the block when you're feeling stressed. And this is what I say there's there's always a time to pause. We're so much better off if we pause before we respond. Because if we don't pause, we're likely to overreact or react instead of respond gracefully. And so it's really important that we make sure as parents that we reset our nervous system as often as we can. Journaling, doodling, um, tapping into creativity, reading scripture, prayer, listening to worship music, all of those things will actually regulate our nervous system so that we can be more calm and confident as we navigate the things that our children are going through.

Kelly:

Now, this is not a question that I want us to completely elaborate on, but both of us being Midwest girlies, myself being in Minnesota, and um remind me, you're in Ohio. PA, Pennsylvania.

Robyn:

PA Eastern side, yeah.

Kelly:

Okay, so we deal with winters. How do you how do you overcome something like that when the sun is coming up later and later and later and setting earlier and earlier and earlier? Do you just adjust to it to so that you can like in the mornings you're resetting your circadian rhythms and the evenings, you know, getting everything in place for melatonin? Like, what does that look like for you, Robin? And I'm asking this because I'm like, what? I need to be like in the summer, not a problem. I'm up early in the morning, I'm out getting my walk in, or getting some exercise and then stepping outside onto our patio. But in the winters, much more challenging because the sun doesn't even come up until like 7:45.

Robyn:

It's brutal.

unknown:

It's brutal.

Robyn:

It's absolutely brutal. And in Pennsylvania, we call it gray PA. I mean, it's gray in the winter months. It's awful. But I do stick my head out the door in the morning when I let the dogs out. I'm like, oh, girls, look at the sunshine. You know, look at the sky, look at the sunrise. I uh I make myself do it and I get a walk-in every day, no matter how cold it is. Now, I will admit the past couple days I haven't because I wasn't feeling well, and it was so bitter cold. And if it's icy, I don't go out because I don't want to fall. I mean, it's just not worth that risk. Amen, sisters. But um, I do, I do try to get my head out the out the door at least for a few minutes. And sometimes it's only, you know, 30 seconds, but I try to at least get that light in my eyes. And then just physical movement is my like saving grace. Like I, if I'm not able to walk outside, I do something inside, whether it's a weight workout, a cardio, run on the treadmill, whatever it is. I I have to have that movement in my day, or I'm not functioning. And so I I prioritize that. And the other thing I do too is, you know, I know it's dark, but I kind of make a big deal out of oh, keeping the lights low in the morning, but yeah, just using um like a book light when I do my devotions and just kind of gradually let myself get into the day. And that's how I like to start my day is just being in in scripture in some way, shape, or form, and then getting my workout in. And that's what helps me.

Kelly:

I love it. Yeah. Sounds like we have some commonalities and parallels in in terms of how we're starting off our day. Yeah.

Robyn:

Yeah, right. And but it makes the day better. It makes the day better when we do that, when we care for our body, because it is, it's mind, body, spirit, and we have to care for all of it. And something interesting, Kelly, is you know, we talked about the brain, the nervous system, and everything. And something very interesting is that science has never been able to look at the brain and the mind at the same time. Like the brain is not the mind, the mind is part of your soul. So your mind is something completely different. So when the Bible is talking about transforming your mind, that's that's part of your soul. So it's really important. It's it's part of that spiritual aspect, is really nurturing your mind. What what you're letting in, what you're consuming through your eyes, your ears. And this is where, especially for kids where your brain's not developed and what they see online. Like I'm interviewing someone on my show, um, Joshua Broom. I don't know if you've you've heard of him, but he was a porn star for six years, like mega, won awards, then directed all the things, and then got out of it and he became a Christian, and now he's uh uh in ministry, a phenomenal guy. But as a result, I was doing a lot of research, you know, studying the statistics and things like that. And children at 10 years of age are already looking at porn. We have to be so cautious with what our children are consuming. These devices are not safe because what we put in is what our brain, what our mind will then focus on, and we all of that will just dig these tracks into our brain in our nervous system, you know, and then it's really hard to get out of those.

Kelly:

Yes.

Robyn:

So God can do it, He created our brain so that the neural pathways are always growing, they're always changing, it's dynamic, it's not static, but you have to have the mind functioning healthy, properly, in order for the brain to be able to function properly.

Kelly:

I I couldn't agree more. It's it's something that has actually come up as a topic of conversation with the boys in our household. Um, you know, they're 11 and they're 11 and 9, and then we've got our daughter, Maddie, who's two and a half, almost, almost three. And, you know, especially with the boys, because they they do enjoy video games, they do enjoy YouTube. There's a we have a lot of parental controls around what that looks like. I also am very aware and and hesitant as it pertains to the games that they're playing, because there's I've I've come to understand that there are pretty sadistic groups out there that love to work through um games like Roblox and Minecraft and um, you know, sort of prey on younger kids and and teenagers who uh I mean they look for specific aspects of these children, you know, children who are in homes where parents may not be pre as present, um, faith may not be present, um, and they are they are manipulated into doing pretty sadistic things themselves as children. I'm sure you've heard of it like 764. 764.

Robyn:

I think is what it is.

Kelly:

Yeah, it's terrifying. Awful, terrifying, awful, and and that really like allowed us to pursue having conversations about like what does this need to look like and why faith is just so vitally important, and allowing our children to have the choice, but also helping them understand there's just such a bigger world out there, and to fall victim to circumstances like that is tough, scary, absolutely scary. But again, the more that we know as parents and the more we do to. A lot of refrain our children from succumbing to that, but also going get outside, get outside, get the light, go and play with friends. It doesn't always have to be about you know video games and this and that. Like, you know, now I'm I could go off on a tangent on all of this too.

Robyn:

But yeah, no, it's a it's a really big deal. It really is a big deal. And I think we were we were fortunate. Our kids weren't my middle one more so than than my oldest. My my oldest son was never that into it, really, and my daughter neither, but um they were always on sports teams. Yeah. And even if you're not, I mean, I our boys were athletic, but even if they're not like the star athlete, that's such good exposure to just be in that environment. And it keeps them off of those devices. And don't get me wrong, they're gonna learn things. My boys learned a ton of things on the lacrosse field or football field that's ready for them to know. But it's, you know, at least they're not like whatever, holed up in the basement on a video game that's violent or at risk of it's just we live in a scary world. It's it's a different world than what we grew up with. And I think it's just awareness for parents that it's it's not the 1980s or 70s or you know, it's it's scary stuff.

Kelly:

It really is. Well, I wanna I want to take a little spin on things and ask you to share a little bit about what the day in the life of Robin looks like right now.

Robyn:

I kind of alluded to my mornings. I get up and you know do my thing, and then it's always my my um, I should say my things, you know, I've got to get the dogs fed and let them out and all those kind of things. And then it's it's time with Jesus. I depending on the the day, the year, the week, the month, you know, it's either a devotion, it's a Bible study, or it's you know, reading something, or just but just being in in the word is is how I start my day with my coffee. Um, and then I get a workout in, and depending on timing, I'll walk the dogs then, or I like to save my walks in the winter, especially for the afternoon. Summer, I have to go early because they get too hot. Um or the evening, whatever. But um, and then it's it's work. And then, you know, I may throw in a load of laundry here, throw in a load of laundry there. I cook dinner almost every day. I love when there's leftovers, but my 26-year-old is in grad school and he's he lives with us and he works out like two hours every morning, so there's no leftovers. The kid eats the he's just he's burned through the calories, which means you need more intake. Yes. Oh my word. So, so yeah, he's he's he's moved back in just for grad school, so he commutes, but um yeah, so and then we we have family dinner. I try to do that as much as possible, and um then the end of the day is just wrapping it up, and I like to have everything ready to go for the next morning so that my morning is peaceful and easy.

Kelly:

Now you have many facets to your business. Podcasting is one of them, right? This is it's a funnel source for you. And so I'd love for you to talk about what harmonizing different funnels of that business look like for you because podcasting, I mean, I I have a pretty pretty down pat regimen of what this looks like for me to operate the podcast on a pretty low budget and um, you know, like very, very, very part-time, and also know that this too is a funnel source for the real estate business as well. And so I would love for you to talk through why you started podcasting and and the other aspects of your business too, and just how how you're harmonizing all of that. Like that has to also play into what that day-to-day looks like for you, right?

Robyn:

Yeah, yeah, sure. Um, so from a logistics perspective, everything is automated. I I my hands are pretty much off. Um I we've shifted a little bit where you know it's more of an invite guest situation versus, you know, having people apply. And that takes a lot of work off of my plate as well. Except now it's you know, bringing people in that I really want in is is a little time, it can be time intensive, but not really. Um I would say, well, the podcast is such a passion project for me. And it started, it started, Kelly, as I was in this mastermind with um three other local women, and we were having a ball, and people saw us having success. This was back in my photography days, so this is many years ago, and um people wanted in. They're like, you guys are having so much fun, you're doing all these amazing things. Like, we went in and we're like, no, nobody else can come in. We're like, it's just us. This is all good, you know. And I'm an introvert, you're not an anxious introvert. I'm like, nope, this is this is good. Anyway, it was it was really kind of funny. And we thought, well, we could do like networking events, and we're like, well, that'd be a lot of work, it'd be expensive. Then we have to deal with money, and we don't want a business, the four of us together. Like, that's way too much. So I said one night we we would have these, we'd be texting back and forth, and it was like a Friday night. And I text, what if we start a podcast? And so we started a podcast called Four Chicks Chatting, and we ran it for two years. It was hugely successful. People loved it. And, you know, this was back when podcasting was just starting out, and we all shared our opinions and we had we had guests, and then we had just us, and I mean, it was it was pretty fun. Well, then, as as happens, you know, as our businesses grew and shifted and life changes happened, we we split up and I started my own show. And when I first started it, it was I called it the second phase podcast because I wanted to tell the stories of women who were in their second phase. They they left corporate and then they started their entrepreneurial journey. And then a couple of years in, I changed it to the Robin Graham show because I just wanted more diversity. I wanted to focus more on the business aspect. Now we focus solely on you know mental health, relationships, faith, and it took another spin. But um it is it is a funnel, it brings in clients, it gives me opportunities to be a guest on other people's shows. And you know, I've definitely gotten clients that way. So it's been very very beneficial. It's grown the email list. The email list is, you know, my way of communicating with my community, and you know, I can communicate with them at any given point in time and educate, inspire, entertain, whatever. Um, just keep them in the community. So I would say way over social media, I use the podcast as my source of growing community and reaching people. I love it.

Kelly:

And I, in the respect of time, wish that I could go further into like how you have developed that, but for time's sake, I'm gonna keep us on track. I do want you to just speak to the word pivot, because I hear a lot about how, specifically as it pertains to the podcast, Robin, like how you had to make these pivots with even like, and and it was okay. Like nobody, the world did not end, nothing went up in flames, right? Like, I do want you to speak to that. And perhaps then, as like a piggyback off of that, I'd love to hear as we start to land the plane, a piece of advice you would give a woman who's listening right now who is perhaps in a in a state of potential pivot for themselves.

Robyn:

Oh gosh. So yeah, I've pivoted a few times and it's a lot of logistics. It's not necessarily easy, however, it's always beneficial. Like I will say, every time I have made a change, it has uh benefited me and it's benefited my community. It's benefited those that listen. Um we haven't we've never seen a drop in uh uh listenership, we've never uh had anything bad happen, but it's it's always been for good. And I feel like and I don't know, maybe this is just my faith, but I feel like every time God's called me to make a change, it's been beneficial, and maybe that's why. But it's it's been a lot of work, I will say that. Like it's it, you know, when when you think about SEO and and everything and just online presence, it's it's a big deal to make a pivot. And you you do need a plan behind it. So I would say to anybody who is considering this, uh, map out a plan. And and and this is where being a very organized business owner comes into play, because you need to know where you're present online so that you can change your uh now, you know, whatever tagline, elevator speech, whatever you want to call it, wherever you're you are online because there and it does take a lot of time to do that. So if you if you've got a VA that can help with that, that's great. And if not, then you need to allot the time to make sure that you're you're really scanning where you are. And then if you are truly pivoting, like your your website, which should be the core, the foundation of your business anyway, that SEO all has to shift and that that again, it takes a lot of time to shift it. Yeah, but it's so worth it in the end because when you take that time up front, then you're gonna see the the benefits come in after.

Kelly:

I love it. Pivots are fun, but they're also incredibly challenging. Totally worth it though. Totally worth it. Robin, what's a piece of advice you would give a younger version of yourself knowing all that you know now?

Robyn:

I would trust it, trust, trust God, trust yourself, don't let the anxiety hold you back. That's what I would say. Be bold, be courageous, trust.

Kelly:

That was really good. Also, might be a nice piece of advice for a woman that's listening right now, just in general, too. Yeah, Robin, this has been so incredible. Um, we are almost finished, but before I let you go on with the rest of your day, our listeners have to know how they can get connected to you. So, what are some ways that they can listen to the podcast, learn more about your book, learn more about you, Robin?

Robyn:

So the best, easiest place to find me is the website, therobingraham.com. It's Robin with a why, Graham Like the Cracker, therobingraham.com. You can find the podcast there, the Robin Graham Show. We are a top 1% globally ranked show and an award-winning show, which is so super cool. It's been, you know, a yes, six years in the making. It's so nice. Um, and the book is available on Amazon, but you can also ask access that from the website. So, really, the best way for anybody to find everything about me is on the website. And there's a contact form. They can reach out if they have questions. I'm always available for emails as well.

Kelly:

So incredible. Would you also like me to list off in the show notes like Instagram handle, LinkedIn, TikTok, or should I just you know, I'm so easy.

Robyn:

You absolutely can. I'm the Robin Graham everywhere. If I spend time on social media, it's usually LinkedIn and Instagram, those two places.

Kelly:

Perfect. Robin, such a pleasure. I can foresee continued friendship above and beyond this. I just adore you. I think what you are doing is most definitely needed, and I am excited to see and continue to watch all that you're doing in this space with working through anxiety and children and families specifically as well. So keep on rocking. I appreciate you, and I truly hope that you have a great rest of the day. Thank you, Kelly. It was an honor to be here, and I truly appreciate you.

Robyn:

Thank you. Talk to you soon.

Head Shot

Kelly Kirk

Host