EPISODE 010 | Sharyn Flood: Reclaiming My Relevance

In this deeply honest episode, Sharyn Flood reflects on what it means to reclaim relevance and visibility later in life. With humility and a touch of feistiness, she shares stories of parenting, career in engineering, dating after 50, and travelling to over 50 countries. From choosing joy and freedom over expectation, to upgrading her phone for photography and navigating life with her dog — Sharyn reminds us that personal growth is ongoing, self-trust is everything, and the best adventures might still be ahead.

Key Topics Covered

• Relevance and visibility as internal work
• Gendered childhood expectations
• Engineering career and proving worth
• Divorce, dating, and midlife love
• Choosing self over societal norms
• The healing role of dogs and travel
• Facing fears: snorkelling and self-trust
• Matching her age to countries visited
• Parenting adult sons
• Joy, tattoos, and letting go of “shoulds”

After you listen to the podcast, answer this: What does visibility mean to you — not in the eyes of others, but in your own reflection? Like Sharyn, how are you reclaiming your relevance right now? 

Come tell us @crone.rising.official on Instagram, we'd love to hear what makes you still relevant.

Crone Rising is for every woman who’s done being quiet and done being small. We’re not here to fade. We’re here to rise — unapologetic, unmuted, and unmissable.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:15

So hi Sharon.

unknown 0:17

Hello.

SPEAKER_02 0:18

Welcome. Um so we'll start with the big question. So, how do you maintain your relevance in a world that wants you to be invisible?

SPEAKER_00 0:25

So, of course, I've pondered the question since you put it forth and and frankly struggled with the question. And ultimately, I think, I think my answer to you is I don't know yet. And yet is key, right? I mean, I I don't know yet, but I'm working towards um figuring that out. You know, now that said, you know, I then I still took a couple of notes and said, I think uh I I think it's a matter of reclaiming our relevance because um uh and I and I say reclaiming it because at the end of the day I do believe that um you know I'm the one that that let it go. I take uh what is it uh uh accountability for that, but it really is because of the way I was raised and society norms and the patriarchy and and our environments, right? Um but it it really is true that at the end of the day we're in control of what we choose to do and how we choose to think. And and even though we've been conditioned, um, I think it's a matter of um, you know, shifting some some things in order to reclaim that relevance. And then in doing that, understanding our um our visibility. On the visibility part, it's a matter of being more visible to myself, reclaiming my relevance by being more visible to myself. I think that's it in an in a nutshell. Um not necessarily easy, you know, um, and a work in progress. What does that mean, being visible to myself? It's meaning listen to myself and um work towards uh not being focused on what others think, not being focused on what others expect of you, uh, and that sort of thing. So uh so that's what I mean when I say, you know, it's it's my accountability, it's for me to make those changes, it's for me to understand my worth by by focusing on myself, by understanding how am I visible to myself?

SPEAKER_02 2:59

That's awesome. No, that's that's a lot of food for thought.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

Well, take a breath and stop there. How do you attribute is it is it like your um your education, where you worked, your parenting, your relationships with others? Like what do you attribute how you came to this conclusion? Is it a combination of everything?

SPEAKER_00 3:29

Is it it's it's absolutely a combination of everything, but I mean it really it actually starts with parenting, how I was parented, right? And how I was raised. And you know, having um, you know, I have a sister, I have a brother, um, you know, raised in a small community. Um, but from the time that I can remember, to put it simply, my brother had it easy. My sister and I didn't. There was so, so many more expectations on my sister and I about how to behave and about the contributions we did into the, you know, um the household chores and all of that sort of thing. No criticism of my parents. I'm just sort of stating a fact that that uh that that's the way it was, and that's the way I was raised. And it was to, you know, always behave and and you know, make your parents look good and uh and and all of that sort of stuff. So it starts there. Um, I remember also when I was young, you know, having this little feisty spirit about um, well, the boys are doing that, I can do that too, right? Which incidentally led me to getting stitches more than once, more than twice in my life when I was young. So yeah, some of those times I was trying to do the same things the boys did. I I did end up in stitches, but that's okay.

SPEAKER_02 4:53

Um but likely prepared you for your boys.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

Well, yeah, well, you know, actually, yeah. And then I end up having three boys, so I'm raising boys. Um, the boys were were were good, actually. So not so much on the on the stitches, just one of them always getting sprained and broken bones from hockey. So that was my payback for that having my mom take me to the hospital all the time for stitches, I guess. But uh, you know, but then it segues into, you know, marriage and choosing life partners. And, you know, I've I've been married twice, and um, and I I wasn't very good at choosing life partners. Um, yes, you know, I have three wonderful children and and et cetera, and that's all good, but I really wasn't very good at choosing life partners. And and again, accountability on me, it's because I wasn't listening to myself, I wasn't making myself um have the visibility that was required and and the authenticity, I guess. Uh, and then you know, I the feisty part of me, I chose engineering as a career. I mean, I was very creative and I liked art and architecture, and ultimately I segued into engineering. Great, great career. Thoroughly have enjoyed uh my career. But then, and and a bit of it was, you know, that feistiness of proving I could do what the boys do too. Um, you know, but then it it involved I spent a lot of my career um, you know, proving proving myself, proving my worth instead of just doing my work and and accepting uh, you know, uh that I was good at it, uh, that sort of thing, right? So um, so all of those things um, you know, uh kept me in that environment of uh, you know, the expectations and the the male-female uh, you know, differences or society differences, I mean in that regard, right? Expectations of each and whatnot. Having, you know, divorced the second time when I was in my early 50s, um, I never even thought or expected that the challenges of meeting someone else would be so so high. It just wasn't something I thought of. Of course, when I was divorcing, I wasn't looking to get into a, you know, another marriage. Um, you know, but I think it is, I think it's good and healthy in our lives to have a partnership when it's a true partnership. Um uh your question, uh your original question about relevance and and visibility, you know, it really rings true at this stage in my life. And it was really became apparent to me in trying a little bit of the different ways of trying to date. And it was just like, wow, like wow. Uh and uh, you know, I'll I I I I'll leave it at that, uh, unless you have an unless you have any specific questions, but but uh, you know, but it was it was um kind of eye-opening to me that said, uh, wow, like my, you know, I I'm at a stage where I'm looking to um reclaim my relevance and and and uh and be visible to myself. Um but in uh you know attempting to uh to date or whatnot, I found that it's um it's become even worse to achieve that in a relationship. And I know there's you know, I know there's great guys out there and et cetera, but you know, they they're not very many of them on the dating apps or available to meet through friends or or that sort of thing as well. So um, so really what's the focus now? That you know, the focus is on me, like what what uh what do I value? What brings me joy? And that's why I'm traveling so much.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

Yeah, I was gonna say, so what is it that you do that fills your cup that isn't being filled by, let's say, relationships or like other things?

SPEAKER_00 9:04

Yes. So uh my dog, you know, I uh, you know, my she's four and a half years old now, so um, you know, I've and she's uh um you know brings me so much joy and also so much health, health physically, because she's an active dog, so I'm out every day with her, uh, you know, a few times a day. And um, but then also, you know, just emotionally and and mentally, like uh there's nothing like you know, a dog's love and that sort of thing. Sidebar, I recently found out that I'm allergic to dogs. Perfect. But she's staying right there with me and we'll we'll navigate through it and whatnot. Um travel is you know, uh travel and photography were things I enjoy. So upgraded my, you know, upgraded, keep my iPhone upgraded so that uh, because it does have great camera, so that when I'm traveling, I can um capture the images and then experience that joy um, you know, after I come come back and whatnot and that sort of thing. So uh so those I guess are have been the the two more recent ones. What was your favorite so far? An extremely difficult question, right? Oh, okay. Um, and but what I'll share is uh uh so I've been to 53 countries now.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

Oh my oh I have a goal.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

So, but I mean, very quickly, the first thing that comes to mind, I suppose, is um uh last year, around this time, I was in the Galapagos uh snorkeling, and it was just amazing. And last month I was at the Great Barrier Reef snorkeling, and it was amazing. So two two very big highlights. Uh, but when I was planning the trip to Ecuador to go to the Galapagos, um, I was a very um very weak snorkeler. I I in fact had a phobia of snorkeling well into my adulthood, you know, then then got over it a bit, but it was a mediocre, mediocre at best. So in preparing for the trip to Ecuador, you know, I said I want to fully experience that. And so I took um a free diving course, uh, which had classroom instruction and pool instruction locally. I never I I don't want to be a free diver, and I don't think I have, you know, I don't know, the breathing technique to be a free diver, but taking that course um put me out of my comfort zone, but got me through my, you know, phobias or the restrictions I put on myself for snorkeling. And it made the experience just, you know, that much better. So so that's where it's like, you know, focusing on myself and um, you know, you know, what do I want in my experiences and that sort of thing. So, but but also share with you, so the goal, I I set a goal for myself to um uh experience the same number of countries as my age. Okay. I probably come across that maybe about four years ago, just just as we were maybe starting to come out of COVID and traveling was opening up again. And and I had a reasonable amount of travel up to that point for both work and and pleasure. And I don't know, in you know, reflecting through all that time we spent with ourselves in COVID, um, I come up with that. Wouldn't that I think that's achievable. I think I could do that. So that's what I'm working towards. So I got, you know, got a few more trips to go, but I I think I might hit it in 2027.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

Oh, that's awesome. No, good for you. That's fantastic. Yeah, I I I live vicariously through your posts. Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

And I'm of course going the farthest away right now because the longest flights, I'd rather be doing them now. Um, you know, and the and and as I age go flights and shorter time changes and that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

They're a lot of fun. Like I really enjoy them as people, like they have nothing in common except me. Really? Oh, wow. Really? They're they're very different, their interests are different, they're you know, they have some things like studio ghibli or ghibli, I don't know. But like that kind of thing, and they all like sport tattoos, which is okay. And you know, all four. Cole was the first one. He turned 18 and he said, Mom, you need to take me up to the tattoo parlor. And I looked at him like, because I was like, Oh, not so comfortable with it. But then it was like, Yeah, fine.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

And then I got mine, so it's interesting you bring up tattoos because my youngest Ryan, uh, is university, he's in living in Korea still. He's and uh okay, his university buddies, five of them were just over visiting them and he vacations with them, and three out of the six of them got a little tattoo on their arm. It's a Korean, it's a Korean symbol. Yeah, so he's the first one to to and but I'm like, well, I already have my tattoos.

SPEAKER_02 14:26

Yeah, it's it's really interesting because you know they have like when it comes to music tastes, it's all very different, you know, anything between country and screamo and Korean pop, and it's just like, wait a second. And uh but yeah, so it's just really it's they're a lot of fun because they are, you know, they introduce me to things that I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

I think your comment earlier too is is you know quite profound in that meeting them as the young adults that they are, and you know, and that sort of thing, and yeah, and as you know, I the foundation for them continuing in their life, right?

SPEAKER_02 14:58

So uh so oh absolutely like valuable, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

If I could finish by saying letting go of you know being focused on what others think or what they expect of us, letting go of that, and instead, you know, looking inward on yourself, that's that's where you know that's where the contentment comes from now. Yeah, and that's where your value, like to your kids or to others.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

Oh yeah. Well, I think it's a gift. It's a gift that you give yourself, but it's also a gift that you give the world that you can feel like everybody makes mistakes, you own them, you you know learn from them, learn from them, hopefully, yeah, and you know, and carry on in the best way you can, as opposed to like the perfect way that we tried.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

Yes, yes, we thought was expected of us, or maybe, you know, maybe it was expected of us in some regards, but we also you know thought it and believed it.

SPEAKER_02 15:59

Oh, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do all like be all things to all people all the time. Yeah, you know, and now we can be all things to ourselves. So lovely to talk to you. I'm so happy to catch up.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

You as well, me too, and I look forward to seeing you.